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  • A “Kinder”garten Memory

    When I was at church on Sunday, I had to go to the bathroom (I know, TMI, but I have a point, I promise). When I entered, I saw the toilet seat up. I smiled a little, knowing it was freshly cleaned. At that moment, a memory from kindergarten came rushing back to my mind.

    I am almost 37 years old, so that was a long time ago. But, here is what I remember:

    A girl in my class came rushing into the classroom after going to the bathroom exclaiming something like, “Ew, Ross went into the girls’ bathroom. I can tell because the seat was up!”

    My little five-year-old self was shocked that this boy, Ross Wheeler, would go into the girls’ bathroom. The girl laughed at him, and I joined in because it was just so silly and gross.

    My teacher, Ms. Fisher, noticed this exchange, and came up to the girl and me, and perhaps others. She then informed us that when bathrooms are cleaned, the seat is left up to show that it is clean. Ross had not in fact used the girls’ bathroom and it was not nice of us to say that he did.

    I believed my teacher and moved on with my life, but I don’t remember if I apologized to Ross. To be honest, I probably didn’t. I was a good kid, but at that young age, I didn’t see any harm in what had happened. Ross was often the subject of jokes and laughter at his expense.

    Now, I don’t remember many things from kindergarten, and this memory is definitely an obscure one. But, as the memory came back to me on Sunday, I realized just how profound it really was and that God wanted me to remember it.

    I even talked to my kids in the van about it on the way home from church. I told the story and then I told them that we often make mean accusations out of ignorance, like the girl did. Some of us blindly believe those accusations without checking the facts, like I did. We are unkind to the accused, thinking we have that right because we have predetermined that the person’s worth is less than ours.

    Then there are the wise people who have found the truth and have the courage to kindly share it, thus giving us an opportunity to learn and grow from our mistakes in judgment, like my teacher did.

    We then have a choice – do we listen to the wise person who has the truth, or do we cling onto what we want to be true because it’s more fun or controversial?

    And then if we do listen, what do we do about it? Do we just quietly move on, or do we acknowledge our faults and make things right? Do we go a step farther and work to prevent further events like that from happening?

    I am pretty sure that since I don’t remember apologizing to Ross and then becoming his friend and advocate that I probably didn’t. I was only five, so I can’t be too hard on myself, but I truly wonder how Ross felt that day at school, and every other day.

    I don’t remember clearly why he was made fun of so often, but I know looking back there was no good reason. Nobody deserves that kind of treatment just because they may be a little different.

    I truly wish that I had befriended him – that I had had the courage to stand up to the bullies and be the friend Ross so desperately needed.

    How many Rosses are in our lives, either in our circle or just someone we hear about on the news? How do we help them? Do we help them? Do we even realize they need help?

    Tears are falling as I write this, because even though the story I am sharing isn’t earth-shattering, it teaches me such great lessons. I’m grateful that God helped me remember this.

    I have grown up a lot since age five, and I do truly want to be more like my teacher. I want to be an advocate of truth, and I want to be an advocate for the persecuted as well. It bring a lot of fulfillment, peace and joy, knowing that what you are spreading is good for you and those around you.

    I invite all of you to ponder on this little story as well! Search out those Rosses and give them the love and support they need. And help the truth of their worth, and other realities related to them, be known so they won’t be needless targets of unkindness.

  • Compassion Transforms

    I feel like I have written about judging others several times, but maybe that’s because I have lots of lessons to learn on it.

    On August 23, I had a thought, and I feel it will stick with me forever. It was more or less this:

    When you judge someone negatively, you may not necessarily be wrong in your judgment, but that judgment will keep you from having charity and respect for, and a strong relationship with that person.

    Why did this come to mind? Well, for many years I have had difficulty really loving and building a bond with a certain person in my life. I always blamed that person but now I know it was my fault. I couldn’t get past certain problems I had with that person. I tried to look past them, and I prayed often, but I just couldn’t shake my negative judgments.

    When talking about that person, I almost always would speak negatively, not even trying to. My feelings were just so imbedded inside me, I couldn’t see beyond them.

    This may sound strange, but I know that my feelings weren’t intentional, but rather planted there by Satan because he knew just how important that relationship would be in my life. He didn’t want me to have it.

    This person still has what I feel are significant flaws, but during a recent interaction with that person, something changed in me so drastically that I now feel nothing but love for, and a desire to help that person. I want to see that person happy!

    My negative feelings are gone, just gone.

    I cannot express the gratitude I have to my Heavenly Father for answering my prayers and helping me focus on how I could give to that person instead of criticize.

    You see, criticizing people, whether internally or behind their backs, doesn’t help them get better. It doesn’t help them at all. And it certainly doesn’t help you. No, if you see opportunity for change in someone, the best thing to do is love that person, serve that person, and support that person.

    I have always known that, but it took me finding compassion for that person within my heart, and thinking of that person’s perspective, as well as life hardships. That compassion transformed my feelings completely, and now I just want to help and love and cherish that person.

    I am not sure if this person notices my change, since I have always been kind regardless of my feelings, but I can already see our relationship improving so much. It brings me so much joy.

    Have you ever felt this way about someone? Maybe you do right now. I challenge you to reach deep within yourself. Think about how that person may be hurting, grasp onto the compassion that you have within your soul, and think about how you can help improve that person’s quality of life.

  • 18 Years Since I Turned 18

    I realized today, my 36th birthday, that it has been 18 years since I turned 18! Crazy!

    And then I thought just how much my life as changed – how much I have changed – as a result of what has happened in my life the last 18 years.

    June 21, 2002

    June 21, 2020

    I still remember my 18th birthday a little bit. It was at Nana’s house, just like most of my birthdays were, since my Granddad’s was one day after mine and my uncle’s was one day before mine. It was always very special.

    At age 18, I had just graduated from high school. What kind of a person was I then? Well, I was a good person who did well in school who made relatively good choices and who befriended anyone who needed a friend. I went to church every Sunday. I was also obsessed with theater and musicals. I did not have the best self confidence due to being made fun of for so long for my pale skin and freckles. I also never had a lot of close friends my age in high school largely due to my values.

    I was excited to go to college that January, but would work for six months to help me raise money. I was going to go to Southern Utah University in Cedar City and I was excited to get away and do my own thing.

    So what happened the next 18 years? Allow me to highlight some of the biggest things from each year:

    2002 – Graduated high school, worked two jobs (CVS and Walmart), and began going to the Singles Ward, where I met my first “love,” and thought I didn’t want children

    2003 – Flew in an airplane for the first time, went off to college, started growing out my bangs for the first time, dated a lot, got engaged, went to the temple to make covenants with God, got married for time and all eternity

    2004 – Got pregnant with my first born and going to school full time

    2005 – Had my first baby, Casey Scott Lewis, and filed for divorce

    2006 – Was greatly saddened by the deaths of my beloved Granddad and my two great grandmothers, got a divorce, graduated from SUU, moved to North Carolina for the first time, tried to fit in with singles again and had the worst self-esteem ever (see some of my struggles through being single from 2006-2010 here: https://ablisscomplete.com/finding-joy-in-my-circumstances/ )

    2007 – Got a full time job at the AICPA, moved into my own apartment with Casey, put him in daycare (super hard for me), dated here and there

    2008 – Fell madly in love with a man who loved me back but kept trying to get me to leave my church, met and fell for a Marine who would soon be deployed

    2009 – Met Jad, decided between him and my marine (guess who won?), and made wonderful memories with this man I was falling in love with and felt was the one for me

    2010 – Got engaged and then married to my true love, Jad, went on a belated honeymoon to Pigeon Forge, got pregnant with Rigel

    2011 – Rigel was born, quit my successful career at the AICPA so I could raise him, started an Avon business, got sealed in the temple to Rigel and Jad, and Jad had major surgery to remove most of his liver due to having Echinococcus

    2012 – Moved into our first home in Mebane, NC, got pregnant with Kamren

    2013 – Kamren was born at home in the toilet – the scariest, yet most miraculous event in my life other than Jad’s surgery two years before, started teaching an Institute class on the Book of Mormon, Jad became a citizen of the United States, I performed in a musical with my church called Sing Down the Moon: Appalachian Wonder Tales

    2014 – I started this blog, which I felt was a calling from the Lord! (See a summary of my blogs from that year here: https://ablisscomplete.com/a-blissful-anniversary/ ), we got a dog, celebrated my 30th birthday in DC, and Jad started IT school, which kept him very busy

    2015 – Quit my Avon business, later started an It Works business, started doing book reviews for Cedar Fort Publishing and writing articles for Family Share, started singing in Messiah in Mebane (Just in case you want to know all about that year: https://ablisscomplete.com/2015-with-the-al-bjalys/ )

    2016 – Won a trip to Disney world, went to Disney World for almost a week, got pregnant with my fourth, performed in my church’s musical Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, quit It Works, helped edit an author’s book for the first time (I would do so a few more times in the coming years, and I hope to do this as a job someday), found out I was having my first girl, attended the open house of the Philadelphia, PA temple, had my daughter, Eve, 5 weeks early

    2017 – Started an online e-commerce store, lovingly called PB and Apple Jelly

    2018 – Attended an elite training to help me scale our business, spent most of my time that year on my business, coached the next set of trainees at the same conference I went to earlier that year, started working with amazing women in the stake primary presidency (my first time working in the stake – district of smaller wards or congregations)

    2019 -Performed in my church’s musical of Seussical, went to Palmyra, NY and got to see all the sacred sites of our early church history

    2020 – Closed down PB and Apple Jelly, went on a wonderful 10 year anniversary trip with Jad to Asheville, NC, felt inspired to post Book of Mormon quotes on Facebook often, am still enduring Covid-19 and learning how to better stand up for the needs and rights of all my brothers and sisters in this world, and also working very hard to get our house ready to sell and build a new home on over 5 acres

    I am sure I am missing a bunch of things, but these are important to how I have changed and developed as a person over this time.

    From my experiences, I have:

    1. Realized I can still be happy even in difficult circumstances, as my circumstances do not equate to my worth.
    2. Learned more about love and what qualities I really needed in a lasting, eternal companion.
    3. Increased in self-esteem as I decreased in envy and realized that God loves me for me.
    4. Received a confirmation over and over that God is real and that He watches out for me through angels (on both sides of the veil) and that miracles still happen.
    5. Learned that to be good you must act with goodness, not just believe in it. You must serve, share, and speak up boldly for the right.
    6. Gained a stronger testimony over the years of the gospel of Jesus Christ, and of His role as my Savior and Redeemer.
    7. Realized that really matters most in my life – not money or success or social media likes and shares, but the love I have for my family and my role as a disciple of Christ.
    8. Grown in boldness in sharing the gospel of Christ with those around me and online.
    9. Learned more about who I am – the good, bad and the ugly, and have worked hard to improve myself (an on-going project).
    10. Learned what makes a good friend and how to be one, and appreciated so many friends, family, and acquaintances who have helped me become who I am today.

    There are countless ways that I have learned and grown through these 18 years. I see God’s hand in refining me, and I pray in the next 18 years I will be closer to my true potential.

  • Granddad’s Organ Miracle

    I was going through old papers on my desk today, and I was so happy to come across the story my Granddad told about the Washington, DC Temple Dedication in 1974.

    I read it, and tears came to my eyes. I felt that I needed to share it with each of you to show that miracles are real.

    The paper he wrote is entitled “Washington DC Temple Dedication Music,” and the top right of the paper has a drawing of the Washington DC Temple.

    He began with a synopsis of the situation and then wrote his experience in his own words. Here is the entire paper from beginning to end, as written by my beloved granddad, Clifford D. Jordan:

    The dedication of the Washington, D.C. temple was held in November of 1974 in the Solemn Assembly Room on the seventh floor of the temple. This room accommodates approximately 1300 people, with overflow facilities to handle a total of 4200. All sessions of the dedication were filled to capacity.

    The Richmond Virginia Stake Music Committee was given the honor of furnishing the music for the second dedicatory session. Frances James and Clifford D. Jordan were called to select and train an eighty-voice choir from throughout the states of Virginia and West Virginia.

    Individual auditions were required. The allocation for the Richmond Virginia Stake was twenty voices–five in each part.

    The musical selections during the service were:

    “I Know That My Redeemer Lives” (choir)

    “An Angel From On High” (choir)

    “Bless This House” with special words (solo by Betty Butterworth)

    “Hosannah Anthem” (choir and congregation)

    In early August 1974, I received official notification of my calling as organist for the Second Dedicatory Service of the Washington Temple on November 19, 1974 at 1:00 P.M. Detailed instructions were included relative to my responsibilities which included forty-five minutes of prelude/postlude music, and service music. The model number and specification of the Allen organ to be used were included. It was recommended that I try to find one of these organs in the Richmond area and familiarize myself with the instrument. Advanced preparation and practice was a must, as I would only have thirty minutes of use of the organ prior to the dedication. This included rehearsing with the soloist, Betty Butterworth.

    I immediately began my search for this organ, and found the exact organ in Corley’s Music Store on Cary Street in Richmond. After explaining my needs to the store manager, I was delighted to learn that the instrument would be available at any time during normal business hours.

    During the next three months I practiced almost every Saturday morning. The main purpose of this practice was to learn and memorize the geography of the console (location of stops, couplers, pre-set pistons, and tone characteristics for solo and blending purposes). This is the major concern of all organists, as no two consoles are alike and stop tones vary from instrument to instrument. A well-trained organist with strong manual and pedal technique cannot play effectively until he is totally familiar with the organ. This particular organ model had two manuals with approximately sixty stops, and was quite versatile.

    On the evening of November 18, my wife (Lois), the soloist (Betty Butterworth), and I entered the Solemn Assembly Room at the appointed time for our allotted thirty minutes of practice on the organ. I felt thoroughly prepared, and looked forward to one of the most spiritual and exciting occasions in my life. I quickly discovered that the organ was not the same instrument on which I had practiced so many hours. In fact, it was twice the size–with three manuals and at least 150 stops, couplers, and pre-set pistons. The potentials of this magnificent instrument were limitless, and for fifteen minutes I studied, tested, took notes, and did everything possible to learn what I could in a short time. The last fifteen minutes were spend with the soloist.

    Due to the many organists following me, it was not feasible to utilize pre-set pistons. There would be no time to do this prior to the service. Therefore, I had to rely solely on manual manipulation of the stops for desired sounds. This meant knowing where to find them instantly as I played. I knew this would be impossible of myself as the console was far more than I could absorb in a few minutes.

    I returned to the hotel extremely troubled, knowing that I needed help and a lot of it. I got on my knees and fervently prayed to Heavenly Father that He would bless and help me as I played the next day, that I might be able to play at my optimum level and know where to find all the needed stops for the glory of His Holy Name. The same prayer was repeated during the night and the next morning.

    I went to the organ the next day very nervous and insecure. After I sat down at this huge and complex console, I repeated my same prayer. I looked up at the console, and a miracle happened! The console was no longer complex to me. I knew exactly where every stop was located and the anticipated tonal quality of each. I performed far beyond my natural mental and technical ability, because I performed under the guidance of the Spirit of the Lord.

    At the conclusion of the dedicatory service, the eighty-voice choir and congregation of 1500 plus joined together in singing the “Hosannah Anthem” (The Spirit of God). During the singing of this hymn, I heard a multitude of singing voices encircling me–which was not coming from the congregation! Tears were flowing down my face so rapidly that I could not see the music. I knew I was surrounded by a heavenly choir!

    This is my testimony of prayer, faith, and truth.

    -Clifford D. Jordan

    ***************************************************

    Once I posted this blog post, I got comments from people who were there:

    From my beloved Nana, and Granddad’s wife, Lois Jordan:  

    Cliff was on his knees off and on the whole night before.
    He played so beautifully at our session of the dedication. There were several of us in the choir that heard those “extra” voices.
    The man recording the music for all the sessions contacted Cliff to apologize for the poor recording of the music for our session. All the others came out perfectly except that second session on the first day. He said he felt it was not meant to be heard outside the Temple for it was the best of all the music presented and he had recorded all sessions each day. These are my most vivid memories.

    From my lovely mother, and Granddad’s daughter, Laura Thacker:  I never tire of this beautiful story. I attended that solemn assembly as a young girl. No one would have ever known Dad hadn’t been playing that kind of organ for years. The music was perfect.♥️

    From a family friend, Debbie Spivey: Your Grandfather was so amazing and talented! I was at that dedication and I remember your mom and dad sharing this experience. There was no doubt that the music was so glorious that day!

     

     

  • A New Hat I Feel Called to Wear

    In The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, every six months, we have a conference led by the leaders of our church. The messages are meant to inspire us to learn and be better followers of Jesus Christ.

    All of the messages in this April’s conference were meaningful and wonderful. I felt the Spirit so many times, but there were two particular points that stood out to me more than anything.

    The first was a quote by Joy Jones, that said: “Women wear many hats, but it is impossible, and unnecessary, to wear them all at once. The Spirit helps us determine which work to focus on today.”

    I felt like she was talking to me. I am always juggling many hats, trying to unsuccessfully wear all of them, or trying to figure out which are more important. It was comforting to hear that it’s not necessary to wear them all, and that the Spirit would help me know which to focus on.

    Hold that thought.

    The second quote, or really full talk, that really spoke to me was from Elder D. Todd Christofferson. He spoke about how to share the good news of the restoration of the gospel with the world. He said we need to share love, a good example, and the Book of Mormon. He said two particular sentences that really hit me: ” The Book of Mormon is the possession of mankind.” and “When you share the Book of Mormon, you share the Restoration. “

     

    I had gotten a nudge from Heavenly Father a little while back to start blogging again, and I had begun doing so about once a week. Then I started running out of inspirational ideas, but the thought kept coming to me that I needed to share the Book of Mormon with people through my blog.

    After Elder Christofferson’s talk, and so many other talks referencing this book I hold most dear, I knew what I needed to do. I needed to start highlighting verses from the Book of Mormon on my blog page, along with an explanation and my testimony. The Spirit was telling me to put on this hat, just as Sister Jones suggested.

    I fully understand that to be a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, you must receive a spiritual witness through study, reflection, and earnest prayer that Joseph Smith was a prophet, that God still speaks through a living prophet today, that the priesthood has been restored, and that the Book of Mormon is true.

    These are not things to be taken lightly, and they are also not things that people will blindly believe. I am aware that many people think Joseph Smith wrote the Book of Mormon, or that it is a work of the adversary. I can understand why people might think that who know nothing about it, or who have been misinformed. But, I can tell you with so much conviction, that even if it were a work of fiction, its words will bring you closer to Jesus Christ. Any book that does that is worth reading. And then after reading, it’s worth figuring out if it’s more than fiction – if it’s the true word of God.

     

    Is the Book of Mormon a book of scripture? I believe wholeheartedly it is. But I had to read it, study it, and pray about it. I know that not everyone is ready to do that. That is why I feel the call to highlight passages one small chunk at a time. There are thousands of passages I could highlight that would help people learn more about Christ and about His gospel. I have started doing this and intend to keep doing it as long as the Spirit tells me I need to wear that hat. It has already been such a special experience for me.

    I hope that anyone reading this post who has never read The Book of Mormon, but who is a Christian, or even just curious, will try to have an open mind. If you know me, you know I am a genuine and giving person. I would never do anything knowingly to anyone that would hurt them or lead them away from God. I live my life trying to bring myself and those I love closer to Him and His Son, Jesus Christ. I hope, knowing what you know about me, that you would give this wonderful book a chance. It’s a true companion to the Bible, for it provides evidence that Jesus really did live, die, and was resurrected. It proclaims that He is the Savior of the world!

     

    If you would like to follow my blog page to see the Book of Mormon posts I am doing, you can follow me here: https://www.facebook.com/makinglifeablisscomplete/

    I would love you to comment or share. If you ever have questions, please ask! I am here! Much love from a sister in Christ!