Welcome

Tag: marriage

  • Five Times the Holy Ghost has Comforted Me Directly or Through Others

    On August 18, 2024, I gave a brief talk in church about experiences I have had where I have felt the Holy Ghost comfort me. It was so beautiful to ponder on my life as well as read through old blog posts I have written to find some of those experiences. In my talk I shared five, all of which have a blog post that give all the details! I hope you enjoy reading about these five very important experiences in my life.

    Just before I turned 22, I moved to NC to live with my parents, as a newly divorced single mom of an almost one-year-old named Casey. I had no friends, no confidence, and was constantly sad. I felt I had failed as a wife and mother. I adored my son but felt this constant need to change my circumstances so I could fit the ideals in the family proclamation. I felt hopeless for months, but then one day, as I was reading the proclamation again, my eyes fell on this statement: All human beings are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny.

    In large part because of my (emotionally) abusive marriage, I had forgotten that I was a daughter of God, and that I had a divine nature and destiny. I had made myself believe that I only had true worth if I had what I thought was the ideal life. But no, I always had divine worth, and I always had a friend in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. 

    The Holy Ghost comforted me by reminding me of this divine truth, and it changed my life for the better.

    Finding Joy in My Circumstances | Making Life a Bliss Complete 

    One night in 2011, Jad had to go to the hospital because he felt like knives were stabbing him, and he could hardly stand the pain. Through a CT scan and a series of blood tests, we finally found out that he had echinococcus, a parasite that had been growing in, and eating away at, his liver for about 10 years. Jad was going to have to have major surgery that came with risks. The news was a little overwhelming, but somehow, we had faith all would be well. As the date approached for his surgery, Jad and I were not worried. We went into the hospital with a positive attitude. After 8 hours of surgery, I was able to see Jad. At first, I felt intense sympathy for him, but then I felt God’s love surrounding both of us. I knew that He was with us, and that Jad’s surgery had gone well because of much faith and prayers, and because Jad had a special mission to perform for the Lord in this life. He would recover, and he would go forward in faith. 

    The Holy Ghost comforted us by testifying of God’s hand in Jad’s life and God’s love for him and our family. 

    The Monster and the Miracle | Making Life a Bliss Complete

    In 2016, when I was pregnant with Eve, I developed hypertension. At an appointment over five weeks before her due date, I was told I needed to go to the hospital right away. After I got to the car, I  burst into tears and sobbed, praying for my baby. I checked into the hospital and was hooked up to the blood pressure machine. As I was lying on the bed in a moment alone, the tears started streaming down my face again. Just when I felt the tears would never stop, a soft but steady movement started in my tummy. My baby had woken up, and it was as if she was telling me that everything would be okay. I immediately felt that she was trying to comfort me, and that I could stop crying. I know that her moving for that long period of time was just for me. 

    The Holy Ghost comforted me through the movements of my unborn baby girl.

    All About Baby Eve | Making Life a Bliss Complete

    In 2020, someone I care deeply about strongly disagreed with some of my perspectives and decisions, which led to a huge rift in our relationship, something I never wanted or expected. For several months, I was in anguish over it.  I spent a lot of time praying about the situation, but no answers or comfort came. But the next April, as I was watching General Conference, a message pierced my soul. I felt it was just for me, and everything in the message gave me comfort and peace knowing that the perspectives I had and the decisions I had made were good and led by the Holy Spirit.

    The Holy Ghost comforted me by inspiring an apostle of the Lord to share a message I desperately needed to hear.

    The Truth Shall Make You Free | Making Life a Bliss Complete

    In 2022, my life was thrown for a loop when I found out I was pregnant with Asher. Normally one would be excited for a new baby, but because of our lives at the time, this was very difficult news filled with many worries and disappointment, and lots of tears. I prayed all the time for strength, guidance, courage, and a softened heart. Everything I prayed for, God blessed me with, including patience, long-suffering, and faithfulness.  My attitude about my pregnancy completely shifted, and I was able to be cheerful and optimistic, even with all my health issues. I unfortunately developed preeclampsia and had to be induced almost 6 weeks early. But, God had helped me prepare for it by manifesting to me that this would happen in advance. He also gave me energy to prepare for my son’s birth and helped me stay calm so I wouldn’t worry. After I had Asher, God blessed Jad and me with the stamina to care for Asher in the NICU while also tending to the needs of our other four children, even while we were both healing -me from childbirth, and him from a bad fall. Most importantly, God blessed us with an overwhelming love for this little boy we never knew we needed. 

    The Holy Ghost comforted me during this time by helping me see how my prayers were being answered, and for helping me overcome my worries and disappointments and replace them with optimism, calm, strength, and love.

    A Onesie with Meaning | Making Life a Bliss Complete

    I’m so grateful for how the Holy Ghost has directly or through others, comforted me throughout my life. It has made all the difference in times of trial. 

     

  • 18 Years Since I Turned 18

    I realized today, my 36th birthday, that it has been 18 years since I turned 18! Crazy!

    And then I thought just how much my life as changed – how much I have changed – as a result of what has happened in my life the last 18 years.

    June 21, 2002

    June 21, 2020

    I still remember my 18th birthday a little bit. It was at Nana’s house, just like most of my birthdays were, since my Granddad’s was one day after mine and my uncle’s was one day before mine. It was always very special.

    At age 18, I had just graduated from high school. What kind of a person was I then? Well, I was a good person who did well in school who made relatively good choices and who befriended anyone who needed a friend. I went to church every Sunday. I was also obsessed with theater and musicals. I did not have the best self confidence due to being made fun of for so long for my pale skin and freckles. I also never had a lot of close friends my age in high school largely due to my values.

    I was excited to go to college that January, but would work for six months to help me raise money. I was going to go to Southern Utah University in Cedar City and I was excited to get away and do my own thing.

    So what happened the next 18 years? Allow me to highlight some of the biggest things from each year:

    2002 – Graduated high school, worked two jobs (CVS and Walmart), and began going to the Singles Ward, where I met my first “love,” and thought I didn’t want children

    2003 – Flew in an airplane for the first time, went off to college, started growing out my bangs for the first time, dated a lot, got engaged, went to the temple to make covenants with God, got married for time and all eternity

    2004 – Got pregnant with my first born and going to school full time

    2005 – Had my first baby, Casey Scott Lewis, and filed for divorce

    2006 – Was greatly saddened by the deaths of my beloved Granddad and my two great grandmothers, got a divorce, graduated from SUU, moved to North Carolina for the first time, tried to fit in with singles again and had the worst self-esteem ever (see some of my struggles through being single from 2006-2010 here: https://ablisscomplete.com/finding-joy-in-my-circumstances/ )

    2007 – Got a full time job at the AICPA, moved into my own apartment with Casey, put him in daycare (super hard for me), dated here and there

    2008 – Fell madly in love with a man who loved me back but kept trying to get me to leave my church, met and fell for a Marine who would soon be deployed

    2009 – Met Jad, decided between him and my marine (guess who won?), and made wonderful memories with this man I was falling in love with and felt was the one for me

    2010 – Got engaged and then married to my true love, Jad, went on a belated honeymoon to Pigeon Forge, got pregnant with Rigel

    2011 – Rigel was born, quit my successful career at the AICPA so I could raise him, started an Avon business, got sealed in the temple to Rigel and Jad, and Jad had major surgery to remove most of his liver due to having Echinococcus

    2012 – Moved into our first home in Mebane, NC, got pregnant with Kamren

    2013 – Kamren was born at home in the toilet – the scariest, yet most miraculous event in my life other than Jad’s surgery two years before, started teaching an Institute class on the Book of Mormon, Jad became a citizen of the United States, I performed in a musical with my church called Sing Down the Moon: Appalachian Wonder Tales

    2014 – I started this blog, which I felt was a calling from the Lord! (See a summary of my blogs from that year here: https://ablisscomplete.com/a-blissful-anniversary/ ), we got a dog, celebrated my 30th birthday in DC, and Jad started IT school, which kept him very busy

    2015 – Quit my Avon business, later started an It Works business, started doing book reviews for Cedar Fort Publishing and writing articles for Family Share, started singing in Messiah in Mebane (Just in case you want to know all about that year: https://ablisscomplete.com/2015-with-the-al-bjalys/ )

    2016 – Won a trip to Disney world, went to Disney World for almost a week, got pregnant with my fourth, performed in my church’s musical Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, quit It Works, helped edit an author’s book for the first time (I would do so a few more times in the coming years, and I hope to do this as a job someday), found out I was having my first girl, attended the open house of the Philadelphia, PA temple, had my daughter, Eve, 5 weeks early

    2017 – Started an online e-commerce store, lovingly called PB and Apple Jelly

    2018 – Attended an elite training to help me scale our business, spent most of my time that year on my business, coached the next set of trainees at the same conference I went to earlier that year, started working with amazing women in the stake primary presidency (my first time working in the stake – district of smaller wards or congregations)

    2019 -Performed in my church’s musical of Seussical, went to Palmyra, NY and got to see all the sacred sites of our early church history

    2020 – Closed down PB and Apple Jelly, went on a wonderful 10 year anniversary trip with Jad to Asheville, NC, felt inspired to post Book of Mormon quotes on Facebook often, am still enduring Covid-19 and learning how to better stand up for the needs and rights of all my brothers and sisters in this world, and also working very hard to get our house ready to sell and build a new home on over 5 acres

    I am sure I am missing a bunch of things, but these are important to how I have changed and developed as a person over this time.

    From my experiences, I have:

    1. Realized I can still be happy even in difficult circumstances, as my circumstances do not equate to my worth.
    2. Learned more about love and what qualities I really needed in a lasting, eternal companion.
    3. Increased in self-esteem as I decreased in envy and realized that God loves me for me.
    4. Received a confirmation over and over that God is real and that He watches out for me through angels (on both sides of the veil) and that miracles still happen.
    5. Learned that to be good you must act with goodness, not just believe in it. You must serve, share, and speak up boldly for the right.
    6. Gained a stronger testimony over the years of the gospel of Jesus Christ, and of His role as my Savior and Redeemer.
    7. Realized that really matters most in my life – not money or success or social media likes and shares, but the love I have for my family and my role as a disciple of Christ.
    8. Grown in boldness in sharing the gospel of Christ with those around me and online.
    9. Learned more about who I am – the good, bad and the ugly, and have worked hard to improve myself (an on-going project).
    10. Learned what makes a good friend and how to be one, and appreciated so many friends, family, and acquaintances who have helped me become who I am today.

    There are countless ways that I have learned and grown through these 18 years. I see God’s hand in refining me, and I pray in the next 18 years I will be closer to my true potential.

  • One Roadtrip, Four Ways to Use the Potty

    Since we have been at home so much due to the restrictions surrounding COVID-19, I thought it would be an awesome idea for us to take the kids on a little road trip to Troutman, NC to visit Zootastic.

    We know a couple families whose kids recently called it the best place ever, so we knew we had to go!

    So, yesterday, we left the house mid-morning to make the 1 hour 40 minute drive there. It was around lunchtime when we got to the area, so we dropped by Randy’s Barbeque to get lunch first.

    Jad ordered the food from the car and we waited for him to go get it. The food was pretty good, though the order wasn’t all the way right. The cups of drink were gigantic, though. We were surprised, but sure grateful for that later. (Stay tuned.)

    My brother-in-law and his family decided to go to Zootastic too, after our last minute invitation. They ended up “arriving” before us since we had stopped for lunch. We knew to expect some traffic as we got there, since we had seen a little when we passed it to go get lunch, but as we approached the entrance to the park, we stopped well down the road due to ridiculous amounts of traffic.

    We knew it would be a while, so Jad turned on Bedtime Stories on his phone (thank you, Verizon, and thank you, Disney Plus!). We laughed hysterically as we waited in the super long line (thank you, Adam Sandler!).

    We finally turned left onto the road the park was on, but we were still in bumper to bumper traffic. At that exact moment, Rigel cried out that he really had to go to the bathroom.

    Well, we weren’t near any businesses. We just had a grassy area on our right, and I was not about to have him pee out there when there were cars everywhere. I explained that to him, but it wasn’t registering.

    I looked at one of the gigantic styrofoam cups and said that he should pee in that. Rigel did not like that idea at all. He got panicky and begged for a place to go to the bathroom. He was freaking out about it. While he was doing that, I, being a most compassionate, sympathetic mother, was laughing so hard I had tears streaming down my face. Rigel was nothing but cries of agony, even after realizing the horrible truth that he would have to PEE IN A CUP. He then screamed out about not being able to unbutton his pants, and after we reminded him he didn’t need to, he yelled at Eve not to look. More panic came, but then only relief flooded over him as he finally let it go… and peed in his cup.

    In the 10 years Jad and I have been married, we have NEVER had to have anyone pee in a cup in the car. So, when Eve then said she had to go potty, the joke was on me. Jad told me to handle it.

    What??? What if she pees on me? And on herself? And on the car? Okay, I can handle this.

    I pulled down her pants, told her to bend her knees and squat as much as possible. I held another gigantic cup under her, praying I had positioned it right and I wouldn’t drop it. I was awkwardly leaning down, holding part of her weight on me, and holding the cup. She kept saying that it was coming, but it wasn’t coming. But, then, finally, when I felt hope slipping away and resigned myself to being peed on while the cup cracked in my tired fingers, it finally did come out, and she peed perfectly into the cup. I didn’t drop it, and the day was saved.

    Jad wanted to toss the pee outside, but I said that was gross and tacky, so we didn’t for a while. I heard they did it when I took Kamren to the porta potty a little while later, when we finally turned into the park. Stinkers.

    We thought we were in the home stretch when we turned into Zootastic’s parking lot, but yeah, we could haven’t been more wrong! We were just starting the eternal, snail-paced zigzag of cars. The line was so long, we finished watching Bedtime Stories, and watched most of Tangled before we finally got to the part where we paid, and that’s with pausing the movies every time someone went to the bathroom (which was a lot). I was grateful for the porta potties, which I never thought I’d say, as well as for the extra baby wipes I had packed!

    I found I was grateful for a lot during those hours of sitting in the car. The cell phone movies, cups and porta potties were just the beginning. I was grateful that the kids could unbuckle their seatbelts and move around due to the slow pace. I was grateful that people had their windows down and we could wave to each other and smile at the cute kids. I was grateful for Facebook messenger where we could see my brother-in-law’s family and talk to them. I was so grateful when we were able to wave to their car about three zig zags away. It’s so weird to say it felt amazing to just wave to them, but it did.

    The sweetest experience of waiting in line was Eve being able to sit in her Daddy’s lap and help him “drive” the van. He taught her about turning the wheel, and it was adorable.

    We were all exhausted by the time we paid to enter Zootastic, but also excited. A little ways in, Jad was able to get out and open the trunk so Casey and Rigel could sit in the back. Eve also was in the back occasionally (she kept moving around). It was a chance for my two oldest to bond.

    When compared to how long we waited in the car before actually seeing the animals, the Zootastic experience was quite short, even with the cars going slowly.

    But, we did see some beautiful animals, and some of us got to pet and try to feed them.

    At one point, Kamren really had to go to the bathroom (again), so Jad took him to the portapotty that was right by where our van was at the moment. I didn’t feel right about it, suggesting he also pee in a cup (hey, we were experts by now), but he said they’d be able to catch up.

    Well, the cars started moving faster, and when Jad and Kamren came out, they were going really slow and not catching up. Then Casey and Rigel told me they weren’t moving at all, but were talking to an employee.

    Meanwhile, we kept going further and further away. I couldn’t turn around or pull over. Then, we noticed someone in a tractor drive up to them. Kamren and Jad got to ride in it across the bison field back to the safety of the van! I think they loved it. They may have had an initial scolding from one of the Zootastic workers, but it was an experience they wouldn’t have had otherwise!

    When we finally were done with the drive through zoo, we got to park for the first time in hours to go into the general store. It was well past closing time, like almost 7pm, but we felt so happy to just get out and stretch our legs! And we were grateful they kept the store open. We didn’t get anything (except a gigantic $.99 pen for Kamren), but the kids loved looking around.

    And then I was grateful for a cute picture of our kids outside of it!

    None of us was super excited to get back in the car and go home, since we had been in the car since 10:30ish that morning, but we did. We also had to get food. We weren’t thrilled about going out to eat twice in one day, but at least we have been saving a lot of money on gas and entertainment lately!

    I researched the closest Papa John’s, found one 15 minutes away in Mocksville, placed an online order quickly, and it was ready by the time we dropped by Sheetz to get drinks and then arrived to pick it up. I am grateful for modern technology that made the food ordering so easy! And I’m grateful Sheetz has gum, because Eve was having a huge tantrum about wanting gum right before we got there (she hadn’t had her “beauty rest”).

    We didn’t watch any more movies on the way home. We just ate, listened to music, and relaxed the best we could. And we made it home, only having to stop once for Kamren to go to the bathroom. So, that day, people went to the bathroom one of four ways – in a cup, in a porta potty, in a real bathroom (thank goodness for one of those by the general store), and the side of the road. What a potty-tastic adventure!

    Not long before getting home, we sang a hymn and read scriptures on my phone. I was grateful once again for cell phones.

    Are you tired reading this? Imagine how we felt!

    But, at least we can remember this day of trying to have fun during COVID-19 with fondness and hilarity.

    And maybe we’ll just go back to hiking until this mess is over! Hiking is easy and we can get out of the car. 😀

  • Must They Grow Up?

    As the thunder roared and shook our house Sunday night, my husband went to check on our little Eve, who is two months shy of turning two years old.

    She was, as he suspected, frightened by the storm. He lovingly brought her to our bed, snuggled with her for a bit, and then left her to fall asleep peacefully.

    This is actually a photo of her sleeping in our bed a few nights before. She was sleeping in nearly the same position Sunday night too.

    As we went upstairs later to get ready for bed ourselves, I asked soon Jad if he wanted to put her back in her bed. He was sitting next to her on the bed just staring at her, and said that he just wanted to enjoy her for a while longer because these moments wouldn’t last forever.

    I don’t know why, but his comments hit me like a ton of bricks. I got emotional to the point that I started weeping.

    Eve is my fourth, and most likely last, child. She is my only daughter, and the love I have for her is indescribable.

    All of my babies have been like therapy for me – their softness, their innocence, their playfulness, their hilarious idiosyncrasies – everything about them brings me to life.

    I guess it hit me in that moment that all the things I love about having babies would someday be going away, never to be replaced by the appearance of another little one.

    I cried and cried for a while. I couldn’t explain it, but I did ask Jad, “What if when she grows up, she doesn’t remember? What if she doesn’t love me the way she does now? What if we don’t have the bond we do now? What if she never realizes all that I have done for her and how much I love her?”

    At that moment, I caught a glimpse of what parents of adult children may go through sometimes, and I appreciated my parents even more. They loved me so much that they raised me from infancy to adulthood. There is very little love that comes close to the love of parents for their children.

    Another thought came to me the next day – that even though I cherish each moment with my squishy, perfect, baby girl, if she stayed young forever I would miss out on so much. I would never get to have a heart-to-heart conversation with her, or comfort her when she had a bad day, or give her advice about a hard situation. I would never be able to teach her how to read, how to cook, or how to flirt with boys. I would never be able to help her make and grow her testimony of Jesus Christ. I would never be able to see her marry her sweetheart or have a baby of her own. I would never be able to truly have a best friend in her, which is what I  want more than anything.

    I took these photos of her Monday morning as all my thoughts were still fresh in my mind. She looked so beautiful to me in those moments.

    I am still struggling with the idea of her growing up. She brings a joy to our family I could never describe. She is absolutely perfect for me, and for our family, from her hair, to her smile, to her love of cleaning,to her interesting food choices, to her sassiness. We can’t imagine life without her.

    A part of me really wishes she could stay little forever, and then another part of me is excited for the future. As I sit here typing with a stray tear rolling down my cheek, I am mostly sad about the idea, but I know that it will be okay. God will fulfill that part of me in other ways, and I will be able to help raise my beloved daughter into the young woman she has the potential to become.

    My dearest Eve, if you ever read this, just know that you are one of my greatest gifts and joys. I look forward to our years together.

  • Why I Call You Princess

    My beloved Eve, you are one year old today. Mommy and Daddy couldn’t love you more. You have brought so much sunshine to our lives. You are our Sweetheart, our Princess.

    Many parents call their daughters Princess. I actually vowed I would never call you that because it was so cliché and 2-dimensional. But then, as the months passed and I couldn’t come up with a name that suited you, you became Princess anyway.

    It isn’t because I want you to have a beautiful voice like Ariel, or a gorgeous face like Aurora.

    It isn’t because I want you to be artistic like Rapunzel or a master of the bow like Merida.

    It isn’t because I want you to have magical adventures like Jasmine or find your handsome prince like Snow White.

    No, this is not why I call you Princess.

    Ariel was full of wonder and saw the beauty in everything.

    Aurora was sweet and innocent.

    Rapunzel was trusting and found joy in the journey.

    Merida was completely comfortable with who she was.

    Jasmine was forgiving to one who had deceived her.

    Snow White was cheerful and had a strong connection with animals.

    Anna had faith in her sister and didn’t give up on her.

    Kiara saw the good in all lions, and wanted to unite them.

    These are all wonderful qualities, but it isn’t why I call you Princess.

    None of these princesses had perfect lives – they all had difficult trials to endure.

    Ariel had her sea witch, and Aurora a cursed spinning wheel.

    Rapunzel had a kidnapper who posed as her mother, and Merida a mother who she turned into a bear.

    Jasmine nearly had to marry a wicked man, and Snow White was nearly killed by a poisoned apple.

    Anna lost her parents, and almost lost her sister, and Kiara felt alone and untrusted by her father.

    They all made it through their trials stronger and happier than before, but that isn’t why I call you Princess.

    Most of these young princesses also had flaws, as we all do.

    Ariel lacked common sense and sought help from a sea witch, and Aurora trusted and fell in love with a stranger.

    Rapunzel was indecisive about being disobedient, and Merida was hot-headed enough to change her mother.

    Jasmine was rude to anyone who she didn’t agree with, and Snow White was naïve and unaware.

    Anna made a huge error in judgment, and Kiara snuck around.

    We can learn from these princesses’ flaws, as they did, but that isn’t why I call you Princess.

    Do you know why I call you princess?

    It is because you are one. YOU are the daughter of a King, a Heavenly King.

    His name is Heavenly Father. He is your father and mine, and the father of us all.

    He knows you by name, and He loves you more than you could ever imagine.

    He sent you to earth and to our family so that you can grow, learn, and choose to follow Him.

    He will watch over you and send angels (earthly and heavenly) to assist you in your earthly journey.

    I want you to always remember who you are. Being our daughter is something we hope you are always proud of, but more than that, we want you to truly feel that you are a spiritual young lady who has unlimited divine potential.

    Your Heavenly Father has given you spiritual gifts that you can use to bless the lives of those around you. Even at your young age, we recognize some of them:

    You are someone who makes people smile. Never stop doing that.

    You love to share your food. Keep on sharing your abundance.

    You are independent and try to be self-reliant. If you can help yourself, you can better help others.

    You are funny, always making people laugh – this will help lighten heavy hearts over and over again.

    You love yourself. If you can love yourself, you can love others even better.

    Using these gifts, and more, with a loving heart, will bring you much happiness now and in the life to come.

    My sweet daughter, Eve. You are named after our first mother. She was the first of God’s spirit daughters to come to this earth. She was the first princess. Follow her example of keeping the commandments. Just as she was chosen to live in the beginning, you have been chosen to live on earth at this time in this place for a reason.

    We knew that you would be a very special little girl, and we were right. We know you have a divine mission to fulfill on this earth. Embrace it and know that your earthly and Heavenly parents will be with you through it all.

    Happy birthday, Eve Marie.

     

  • PB and Apple Jelly

    About a month ago, Jad approached me with an idea. He was really excited about this idea, and had spent a lot of time thinking about it, researching it, and watching sales pitches on it. After all this, and praying about it, he felt he should involve me in the idea.

    I admit that at first I was hurt that he hadn’t involved me earlier, but it was just his style to study it out before wasting my time. Anyway, after he started showing me some things, I slowly started warming up to the idea. And before we knew it, it was a month later.

    This past month has involved hours of training videos, hours of brainstorming, and hours of building up this idea. Many more hours have been spent editing, with more and more ideas flowing forth each day.

    What am I talking about? I am talking about a new business – an online store.

    It may not sound that exciting at first, but when you think about the fact that Jad and I CREATED it ourselves – that we spent so much time carefully choosing a website name, crafting a logo, finding our passion, and finding our why for it all, it really is.

    Jad has been the graphic designer for our site (i.e. logo, slides, business cards, etc.), and has been more of a behind-the-scenes player, while I have been the one crafting all the verbiage, setting up our email and social media pages, building the store, adding the products, editing everything, etc. It may look like I have done more, but Jad was a rock star at picking up the slack around the house – taking the kids to dance, cleaning, cooking, etc. I couldn’t have done any of it without him.

    It has been a labor of love – a very stressful labor of love. Our free time the last month has been mostly devoted to the store, especially in the last two weeks. I have sat at the computer until I thought my eyes would burn, but today, we can both truly say that we are proud of what we have built. We are at peace, and we are excited. It will be hard work, but it will also be fun and beneficial.

    When we were thinking of what were passionate about, we realized that FAMILY is our passion. We know that family should bring us incomprehensible joy, but also recognize that that joy can be overshadowed by heavy stress and messes. So, our site was built with families in mind. We truly want to provide items that will make YOUR life easier, more comfortable, more convenient, and more enjoyable, so you can spend more time on what matters most with WHO matters most.

    Our website name is PB and Apple Jelly. Some of you will get the Apple Jelly part of it, but for those of you who don’t know, when Jad and I got married, a friend I worked with said that my new last name (Al-Bjaly), sounded like Apple Jelly. I never forgot that, and have had an email address for years with the prefix mrsapplejelly. It has become kind of our trademark. And then we thought about peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. What are they like? Well, they are a sweet, easy, convenient, comfort food that brings a smile to those who enjoy them. We thought it would make a good logo. What do you think?

    We recognize that we don’t know everything about what makes a family’s life easier, more comfortable, etc., so we are ALWAYS willing to hear your ideas. We would love to have them. Email us any time at support@pbandapplejelly.com, and we will do our very best to add your suggestions to our site. We will even recognize you for it!

    So, this is our new adventure. We are business owners. It is a passion Jad has always had, and something that I have tried before, but haven’t felt nearly as passionate about as I do now. This time it is OUR business that WE created TOGETHER.

    Our website is www.pbandapplejelly.com. Please visit it and give us your feedback. Buy something if you like! We want to hear what your favorite products are.

    Also, we are going to be doing contests on our Instagram and Facebook pages for the rest of this week, and would love it if you would drop by! We will be doing promotions often, as well as adding new products, and really, just being there to share about our life, and hear about yours. I hope we get to know each other better through this avenue.

    Our social media pages are: instagram.com/pbandapplejelly and https://www.facebook.com/pbandapplejelly

    Thank you for any and all support you are willing to give us as we are just starting out, and over the years. A small business is nothing without its valued customers, and we promise to always treat you well!

    *Update: Jad and I made a video on 10/5/17 to highlight what we do to show true service and loyalty to our customers:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aRLpv7hbLY8

  • Are you done??

    So, most of you know I have four kids now: Casey (almost 12), Rigel (6), Kamren (almost 4), and Eve (nearly 5 months).

    When people see me with all of my kids, or when people talk to Jad and find out he has four kids, the question inevitably arises, “Are you done having kids?”

    Sometimes the tone sounds more like, “You are done having kids, right??” Other people will just smile and say, “Well, you have your girl now, so you can be done!”

    To me, this “Are you done” question is one of the hardest questions I have been asked, and continue to get asked. There is something so final if you say “Yes,” isn’t there?

    I find myself debating back and forth sometimes. For those of you who have been asked similar questions, here might be some of the arguments people give you for each stance:

    Be Done                                                                                                                                    Don’t Be Done

    You are getting older.

    Think of your past health and labor issues.

    Can you even handle all the kids you have?

    Kids are expensive.

    Don’t you want to lose weight and stay thin?

    Pregnancy is so hard on the body.

    You will be really old when your last kid goes off to college.

    **************************************************************

    Notice how the Not Done list is blank? That’s because people don’t usually encourage you to have more when you already have four, or a perceived other large number of kids.

    Has anyone else had this experience? I mean, the reasons to be done are quite logical. The problem is, the feeling of whether or not you are done having kids isn’t necessarily logical. So, what should we do? Follow our brains or our hearts?

    For me, it isn’t as much about what my brain tells me, as it is about what I feel. My husband and I feel the same way.

    So, when people ask us, “Are you done?” we just say “We don’t know yet.” Really? Oh…

    I wish I could say that I have had a strong feeling one way or another about it. I haven’t, and neither has my husband. We may at some point in the next couple years, but we are leaving our options open.

    Would I like to be able to get past that baby phase of life? In some ways, yes. In others, no way. It would be nice to not have to change diapers anymore,  and be able to have consistent sleep. It would also be nice to get rid of all the baby stuff and have all my kids in school.

    But, then the other side of me is worried that this will be the last opportunity I will have to see what a new baby of ours looks like, to hold that baby in my arms for the first time, to snuggle and sing to that baby, and to teach him/her everything I know.

    That is why I am leaving it up to the Lord. I have always done that. I felt very strongly, after being married to my first husband for nine months, that it was time to have a baby. I thank the Lord I listened to that prompting, else my first born had never been born. Rigel was meant to be with us, as we got pregnant with him so quickly after marriage. With Kamren, we both felt it was time to have another baby. And with Eve, I knew before Jad, and once he knew, it took nine months to get pregnant with her. In each situation of conception, it was clear what God’s will was. It was also clear in each and every delivery, that God was with us all along the way.

    It is up to you, your spouse, and the Lord as to how many children you will have and when. If you have a large family, and feel pressured to stop having kids, don’t let it bother you. Perhaps that advice with help you, but if you aren’t feeling it, that is fine. Just be patient and wait on the Lord’s promptings.

    I certainly have had days where I feel I couldn’t feel any more joy than I feel right now with my beautiful, precious, Eve. She is truly the sunshine of my life. Then, there are other days when my husband asks me what another child of ours would look like, and I feel that wonder arise within me.

    We are taking it one day at a time. We don’t owe anybody an answer right now, and neither do you, if that is your situation. Only you and your spouse and the Lord know what is best for your family. I pray that my husband and I, and your spouse and you, make the decisions that will be most in line with God’s will, always.

     

     

  • I almost yelled at my husband yesterday

    I seem to always be in a hurry. Yesterday, I had my husband’s car, so it wasn’t nearly as easy to get the baby and my three-year-old into the car. I finally got them, and myself, strapped in exactly ten minutes before we had to be at Kamren’s speech class. That’s okay – that’s perfect, I thought.

    Then, I started the car. A message mocked me: Fuel levels low. Yep, the gas gauge was on empty.

    Great, I sarcastically thought. A negative thought instantly popped into my head about how irresponsible and inconsiderate my husband was for leaving me with a car that had no gas.

    And then, just as quickly as that thought entered my mind – along with the idea of calling him and loudly complaining about it – the thought left. It just…left.  That rarely happens, I am ashamed to say, as I am often quick to judgment.

    I surprised myself as I thought of my husband’s perspective. I knew that he wouldn’t have purposely done that. I realized he probably just didn’t have time to get gas the day before, or he decided not to do it so he could be home quicker to see his beloved family.

    I thought of how thoughtful he was to take my van to get tested (since the engine light had been on for a few days). I remembered how he had taken the car seats out of the van and left them for me, and how he had pulled the car into the driveway that morning because it had been raining.

    And then I thought about myself, and how I should have been more diligent about getting ready on time, rather than cutting it so close. Then I wouldn’t have a need to feel frustrated at all, because I would have had time to get gas and still get to speech class on time.

    My husband is my partner; he is on my team. As I embraced that comforting thought, instead of calling him out for not getting gas, and thus causing a fight, I gave him my gratitude when he got home. I praised him for getting the van tested and ordering the part that it needed.

    This is such a simple, seemingly insignificant story, yet, how often to the little things cause huge rifts in marriages?

    My husband and I have had many arguments over the years that stemmed from petty things. But, I want to end that. I don’t want to do that anymore.

    Reading Love Me True: Overcoming the Surprising Ways We Deceive Ourselves in Relationshipsby Dr. Jason Whiting, has gotten me to see already how I need to better control my emotions, and how I need to think before I act, as well as think the best of my spouse.

    I have a lot to learn, but I am going to do my best (and keep trying over and over again) to have the best marriage possible.

    So, if you find yourself in a similar situation that I was in yesterday, ask yourself these questions:

    1. What was likely my spouse’s intention?
    2. Does my spouse love me and care for me? Would he/she do this on purpose?
    3. What does my spouse’s load look like right now?
    4. Have my actions played a role in my plight?
    5. What things can I be grateful for that my spouse does for me?

    As you reflect, you will hopefully feel more love, appreciation, and patience for your spouse.

    And don’t beat yourself up, either. I didn’t dwell on how I couldn’t get out the door faster. I am trying to come to peace with the fact that my life is very hard right now with a small baby and three other kids.

    I am doing the best I can, and so is my husband. Our best is going to look different based on our circumstances. I am going to work harder to give the benefit of the doubt, choose my battles wisely, and always remember that my spouse is my best friend, my protector, and the love of my eternity. I am complete with him by my side (because he is a good man who loves me, his family, and God), and NO fight is worth losing that completeness or that joy.

  • When I am an adult I can…

    You know the phrase “From the mouths of babes?” Most of the time, people use that phrase when children say something profoundly true or spiritual.

    Well, I think it can also apply when they say something that shouldn’t be true, but it is too often – when they say something that causes reflection, and possibly change in one’s life.

    This happened to me a few weeks ago. Rigel and I were sitting at the table eating lunch. All of a sudden he clearly articulated,

    “When I am an adult, I can watch bad movies with bad words!”

    I was taken aback, and wondered who told him that or why he thought that. I knew I hadn’t told him that, and I told him that Daddy and I don’t watch movies like that.

    He then said, “Yes you do. There are movies you don’t let me watch. They are bad movies with bad words.”

    He was right that there are movies he doesn’t watch that we watch, but I explained to him that some movies he wouldn’t understand or enjoy due to his young age. Jad and I actually don’t keep any movie in the house we wouldn’t want our kids to watch, and when we watch movies we don’t own, we use VidAngel to cut out language, nudity, and other things we aren’t comfortable watching.

    I don’t think that Rigel’s definitions of “bad words” and “bad movies” match mine, but it still got me thinking a lot.

    Then, the following day, I spoke to a friend whose nephew had called his sister a bad name. When she corrected him and asked him not to do that,  he showed his understanding, by saying when he grew up he would be able to use that word. Where did he get that from?

    57a0589edf6718c0eeb0c261391b4db3

    These two interactions left my heart aching. My husband and I try really hard to practice what we preach. We do have very high morals when it comes to entertainment and speech. We aren’t perfect, but want our kids to fill their lives with things that are virtuous, lovely, of good report, and praiseworthy (Articles of Faith 1:13, Phillippians 4:8).

    wholesome-RW-meme

    My heart was hurting as I thought of other children in the world whose parents do use bad language consistently around them but tell them not to do the same, or who do watch movies with content that they hide from their kids (or worse – don’t).

    9de2fac0e1627a121f5707485607f714

    Kids are like sponges. They will hear what words you use, they will hear how you speak about others, they will find a way to view those movies or books you are hiding from them – and then they will adopt that behavior themselves.

    I truly believe that as parents, we have been given a God-given responsibility to be righteous examples to our children. We should study the words of Christ, and carefully determine what things we will allow in our homes. I believe home should be a holy place – a haven from the world. We must make it that way through our our words, our actions, and the tangible objects we allow in.

    children

    I hope I can help my children fill in the blank differently. Rather then, “When I am an adult, I can do bad things,” they will say, “When I am an adult, I can”:

    1. Get a good college education.
    2. Earn a job in my chosen career field, and try to change the world for the better.
    3. Continue to share the gospel of Christ.
    4. Marry my sweetheart and start a family.
    5. Work hard to support my family physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
    6. Love my children, my spouse and the Lord with all of my heart.
    7. Be a good friend to all.
    8. Use my talents and time to help others.
    9. Learn new skills, such as gardening, fixing cars, or cooking new foods.
    10. Continue to improve myself each and every day.

    What do you want your kids to say?

    quotes about parenting

    IMG_20160324_121837226