Tag: Jesus Christ

I Love Primary Children
There are a lot of things that set my church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, apart from other churches. One big one is that our church congregations are run by its members. We do not hire our spiritual leaders, teachers, choristers, custodians, pianists, etc. The members are asked to, or called, to do these responsibilities for a time. These callings are given through inspiration, and as members, we are given the opportunity to accept those calls.

In December 2014, I was called to be the Primary Secretary in my ward (congregation). Primary is the organization for children in my church. We have a Nursery program for ages 18 months to 3, and then the official Primary program for ages 3-11.

When I first was extended the call, I admit I wasn’t excited. I had done this calling before in another ward, and it was mostly paperwork and organizational stuff. But, I accepted the calling out of obedience, and a willingness to serve in whatever way I could.

Fast forward to September 18, 2016, the day I, and the rest of the Primary presidency of my ward, got released from our duties. It was the day of our yearly Primary Program, where the children ages 3-11 get up in front of our congregation to sing songs they have learned all year, and present speaking parts about spiritual topics also learned that year. The day of the Primary Program is one of my favorite Sundays each year, and this past one was extra special because it would be my last one in the presidency.

I was so proud of the children, and my love for them spilled out through my tears. I couldn’t hold back the emotion that day as I was released. I sat quietly during my last Sunday in the Primary room with them, sad I would be leaving them, and that I wouldn’t be able to teach them anymore.

In the past year and nine months, I have learned so much from these wonderful Primary children, and from serving as Primary Secretary. It is a calling I am so grateful I had because, not only was I able to assist in keeping our Primary dealings organized, I was able to collaborate with the other sisters in my presidency on many issues, like activities, callings, and needs of children. I was also able to teach the children periodically (my favorite part), sing the songs with them, and just get to know and love each child.

Here are some of the things I admire about the Mebane Ward Primary children:
1. They are helpful. When something falls, or there are chairs to be put away, there are kids always willing to lend a hand.
2. They love to participate. Some of the kids would come to me asking, sometimes practically begging, to say a prayer, recite a scripture, or give a talk. Others would get upset if not asked to participate enough as sticks were pulled out of the bucket to choose helpers.
3. They like to tell stories about their lives – and usually those stories correlate with the lesson. I loved hearing about the kids’ missionary, service, or family experiences. They often brought tears to my eyes.
4. They are loving and compassionate. One little boy always wanted to give me a hug each week. I always looked forward to those hugs and his sweet voice. I can think of a couple times, too, where I got emotional in Primary after teaching a lesson and bearing my testimony. There would inevitably be kids who wanted to make sure I was okay, and I loved them even more than I already had before.
5. They work well in competitive scenarios. Once, I was substituting as chorister, and the kids were singing very quietly. I told them that I could hear myself over all of them. I admitted I sing loud, but with that big group, they should have been able to at least sing as loud as me. And you know what? They rose to the challenge and sang their little hearts out. After that time, I often reminded them they could sing as loud as Sister Al-Bjaly.
6. They have a hard time sitting still and staying quiet sometimes. Why did I admire this? Well, in the moment, maybe I didn’t. But, it helped me gain some understanding and patience as I realized that these are good kids – it is just really hard to stay reverent for three hours at church. It brought perspective as I thought about adults who can’t sit still or stay quiet that long either. For all we expect of them, they really do a fine job.
7. They try even when they are afraid. My heart melted over and over seeing the little ones get up, sometimes for the first time, to the podium to deliver their talks, prayers or scriptures. Sometimes, they wouldn’t say a word, but would lean on their parents for support. Even when their parents would say their part for them, I was so proud of them just for getting up there. I know adults who won’t give talks or prayers in church, but these little ones will at least get up and try.
8. They find joy in singing. Well, maybe not all of them, but most of those kids really open up through song. They haven’t gotten to an age yet where their singing voices embarrass them, and they think they aren’t good enough to sing. No, regardless of singing talent or even knowing the words, most of the kids sing, sing, sing. And I love it!
9. They have good parents who teach them the gospel of Christ. This was incredibly apparent to me, especially as I taught lessons. I was amazed at how knowledgeable the kids were about the scriptures and their heroes, how many answers they knew without thinking, and how many spiritual experiences they recognized in their lives and in the lives of their families.
10. They feel and recognize the Holy Ghost. Even though there were definitely some days where the kids were loud and seemingly out of control, sometimes they would hush. They would become contemplative. They would get serene looks on their faces. I recall more than once at the end of a lesson (sharing time) or singing time, the kids would be uncharacteristically quiet. It was a beautiful noise, because it accompanied feelings of God’s love and peace. One time, (I think it was the last time I taught them), I ended my lesson by singing a duet of I’m Trying to Be Like Jesus with one of our talented young 10-year-old ladies. I felt the Spirit as I sang with her, and as we finished, you could hear a pin drop. It wasn’t necessarily our voices, but the praises we sang, that helped the children feel that Jesus really does love them, and that we can all be like Him.
I just love Primary. I felt Heavenly Father’s and Jesus’s love for them and for me over and over again as I sat and watched them, helped them, taught them, or sang with them. It has been hard the last few weeks not being with them, but I know the Lord has another responsibility waiting for me. I will do my best to fulfill whatever it is, for I know it will be for my spiritual good.

Thank you, dear Mebane Ward Primary children, for all you have done for me! You are special children of God!
October 7, 2016
The Recipe for Eternity
I taught a class on building an eternal marriage to the women in my congregation, as well as in a larger event for women in my church. I wanted to make the class interesting, easy to remember, and fun. I would like to share my lesson with you so you can have this discussion and do this activity with your spouse.

To create the tastiest concoctions, we must use the very best ingredients, taking our time to cook with love. The same is true to create the most joyous marriages, and the Lord has given us the perfect recipe to make our marriages eternal.

The ingredients were created with the marriage relationship in mind, but the corresponding attributes and actions apply to all people, and to all relationships.

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So, in any good baking recipe, you start with a bowl. Notice the roundness of the rim. This will represent the never-ending bond of marriage and family – the sealing covenant. The bowl must be clean, representing the holiness of that covenant.

Elder Bruce C. Hafen said, “Covenant marriage requires a total leap of faith: they must keep their covenants without knowing what risks that may require of them. They must surrender unconditionally, obeying God and sacrificing for each other. Then they will discover what Alma called ‘incomprehensible joy.’”

Elder Hafen also talked about the difference between a contract of marriage and a covenant. Think about those differences as we discuss the recipe for eternity:

Contract
1. You walk away from your troubles.
2. You do your part only when the other does.
3. 50/50 effort
Covenant:
1. When troubles come, you endure them together.
2. 100/100 effort.
3. You sustain and lift each other in times of trial.
4. You obey God and sacrifice for each other.
5. You need and sustain each other.
6. You are given the strength to give your life for your sheep (spouse, child)
7. You are bound to each other and to the Lord.
Ready for the ingredients? The first is: Well-packed Time. In the real recipe, it is packed brown sugar.

Our days and weeks likely are packed. But, we can prioritize our time well to maximize the happiness for ourselves, and those in our homes.

President Uchtdorf said: “Taking time for each other is the key for harmony at home.”

Time is so hard, isn’t it? There is never enough time because there is so much to do from errands to keeping house to spending time with family to church responsibilities to work and more. So, what do we do when we have completely full schedules? How do we find time to do all of our chores and spend time with our spouses and families? Any ideas?

Sometimes, it is more quality than quantity. Plan time, and make sure it is a relaxing time where you can focus on your love for each other and not outside distractions.

You can also spend time together without being alone together, through:
- Texts/phone calls
- Stealing smiles and laughs while doing responsibilities together
- Holding hands when out and about.
Also, learn to simplify and say no. If you already have a full plate, be honest with yourself. Don’t add more on. Ask yourself: does this help my family or my marriage? Does this strengthen my testimony? Can someone else do this? Is this necessary?

Talk to your spouse about priorities. What is most important? It should be God, spouse and family. Set expectations with each other and do your best.

But, are the issues with time we talked about all there is? What about not having enough time for yourself? What about not having time to make yourself look the way you want to, or to do the hobbies you love, or to spend time with friends? Have you ever felt that way?

So, we need time for those we love, but also for ourselves. Taking time for yourself can really help you be a better wife, mother and person. You have more to give when you are able to sustain yourself. Discuss this need with your spouse, and plan times for each of you to have “you” time.

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The next ingredient is Softened Answers, or for the recipe, softened butter.

The writer of Proverbs counsels, “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger” (Proverbs 15:1).

What are some examples of soft communication?

Ex: Compliments, showing interest, rejoicing in accomplishments, showing appreciation for labors, apologizing when wrong, saying I love you. In prayer, thanking Heavenly Father for spouse.

There are so many things that we need to discuss as couples, things that could become arguments if not done with soft answers, from making/changing traditions, to important life decisions, to methods of raising children, to trouble with friends or family, to personal desires, thoughts, and dreams.

When talking about all these things, we will have different opinions, which could lead to arguments if not done right.

To avoid contention/fights:
- Listen to each other’s opinions completely and without judgment. Validate those feelings rather than refute them.
- Speak your mind, rather than stay silent, because silence can lead to future fights.
- Study both options, and perhaps others.
- Pray about the resolution and listen for the answer.
Even with our best efforts, sometimes we won’t say the right things or react the right way. And sometimes our spouse won’t.

Elder Bednar counseled, “When we believe or say we have been offended, we usually mean we feel insulted, mistreated, snubbed, or disrespected. And certainly clumsy, embarrassing, unprincipled, and mean-spirited things do occur in our interactions with other people that would allow us to take offense. However, it ultimately is impossible for another person to offend you or to offend me. Indeed, believing that another person offended us is fundamentally false. To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else.”

We could explode in these situations, or we can breathe, express our feelings, and remember we love our spouse and are on the same team.

Sometimes we will get irritated with our spouse’s behaviors and habits. We feel tempted to tell our friends about it, so they can tell us how right we are and how wrong he is. But this fills us with bitterness, pride, and blinds us from our own faults.

Absolutely talk about your concerns, but only to the one person who needs to hear them. Take time and give space if needed, but always talk about it. Try to understand how each other feels, and don’t turn conversation around to dote on the other’s faults. Take responsibility for behavior and words, and apologize.

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Next, you add in Pure Love of Christ, or pure vanilla extract.

Pres Uchtdorf said, “…no matter how flat your relationship may be at the present, if you keep adding pebbles of kindness, compassion, listening, sacrifice, understanding, and selflessness, eventually a mighty pyramid will begin to grow.

Whatever problems your family is facing…the beginning and the end of the solution is charity, the pure love of Christ. Without this love, even seemingly perfect families struggle. With it, even families with great challenges succeed.

The great enemy of charity is pride. Pride is short-tempered, unkind, and envious. Pride exaggerates its own strength and ignores the virtues of others. Pride is selfish and easily provoked. Pride assumes evil intent where there is none and hides its own weaknesses behind clever excuses. Pride is cynical, pessimistic, angry, and impatient. Indeed, if charity is the pure love of Christ, then pride is the defining characteristic of Satan.

Love in the fabric of the plan of salvation is selfless and seeks the well-being of others. That is the love our Heavenly Father has for us.”

What are some charitable characteristics you love about your spouse?

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The next ingredient is whole devotion, or whole milk.

“Thou shalt love thy wife with all thy heart, and shalt cleave unto
her and none else. “And he that looketh upon a woman to lust after
her shall deny the faith, and shall not have the Spirit; and if he repents
not he shall be cast out” (Doctrine and Covenants 42:22-23).

What are some methods you use to make sure you do not lust after other men?

Examples – I will not compare my husband to other men and wish he was more like them/ I will not read books or magazines, watch movies or videos, or listen to music that spark sexual feelings from within.

Pres Uchtdorf said, “Somehow, as the days multiply and the color of romantic love changes, there are some who slowly stop thinking of each other’s happiness and start noticing the little faults. In such an environment, some are enticed by the tragic conclusion that their spouse isn’t smart enough, fun enough, or young enough. And somehow they get the idea that this gives them justification to start looking elsewhere.

In God’s plan of happiness, we are not so much looking for someone perfect but for a person with whom, throughout a lifetime, we can join efforts to create a loving, lasting, and more perfect relationship. That is the goal.”

How can you show your devotion to your spouse? Examples – trust and accept him, be honest with him always, always remember why you fell in love…

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Next is the Salt of the Earth, as a representation for salt.

Matthew 5:13 – Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men.

Christ is speaking to His covenant people who have been baptized in His name. They are called to be this salt of the earth.

Carlos E. Asay said, “The word savor denotes taste, pleasing flavor, interesting quality, and high repute. That is, it is clean, pure, uncontaminated, and useful…Savor is lost through mixture and contamination.”

He gave examples of losing savor (or purity) – pornography, lies, drug, alcohol, bad language, etc. Then he gave advice: “If it is not clean, do not think it; if it is not true, do not speak it; if it is not good, do not do it.” King Benjamin cautioned, “Watch yourselves, and your thoughts, and your words, and your deeds, and observe the commandments of God” (Mosiah 4:30).

How can we help our spouses and ourselves become more pure?

We should share our sins and weaknesses with each other to help us become one and help each other maintain our savor. If we don’t admit our faults, it is harder to overcome them, and we continue to lose our savor.

If spouses are working hard to live the gospel and remain clean, then they will be more useful to the Lord, to each other, and to their families. And living righteously will help us come closer to God, and closer to eternal life.

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Next we add the Bread of Life, or flour.

John 6:35 – And Jesus said unto them, I am the bread of life: he that cometh to me shall never hunger; and he that believeth on me shall never thirst.

Draw a triangle with wife on the bottom left, husband on the bottom right, and God on the top – The closer we come to the Lord, the closer we come to each other. Notice if one of us moves from the Lord, if we also move from the Lord, we go further away from our spouse, not closer.

Elder John A. Widtsoe said, “True love of man for woman always includes love of God from whom all good things issue.”

There are many desirable qualities in a spouse, but the ones that matter most are the ones that mirror the Savior.

So, we need to put God first. How can we do that first individually and as a couple?

Christ, through his atonement, not only can make us clean from our sins, but lighten our burdens and make our weaknesses strengths. But, we must go to Him for help.

“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. “Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. “For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:28–30).

As couples and families, we will go through trials over the years. If we come unto Christ together, pray for help, and keep the commandments, Christ will help us through all of our trials. I have a testimony that the trials my family and I have been through have only strengthened our testimonies and brought us closer together. Does anyone have any examples?

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Add in Sweet Service, or chocolate chips.

When you are married, your spouse’s needs, wants, and happiness should be as important to you as your own.

What are some ways you serve your spouse?

Examples:
- Learn about and support your spouse’s interests and hobbies.
- Do nice things for each other, like write love notes, plan a surprise, do something without being asked, give a massage, be the one to get up and do something when you are both tired. If you give what you want to receive, your spouse will feel your love and want to do likewise.
- Be sensitive to moods, desires, energy levels, and work load. That way, you can discern each other’s needs better. (breaks, relaxing, give up time if something important needs to happen)
- Stop what we are doing and just listen. Be interested in how your spouse’s day was. Talk about it. Offer comfort and support. Be positive.
- Help each other with responsibilities. It could be tempting to say that it is his job, so I shouldn’t have to help. By getting up and helping with chores, your spouse can feel that you enjoy being with him regardless of what you are doing. If you see a need, do it rather than wait for your spouse to do it. This will be a load off of him, which will make you happy.
- Pray for each other- thank God for each other, and pray for well-being and strength.
- Show affection often.
By putting your spouse first, you grow together in love, and you both stay humble, and as President Spencer W. Kimball promised: “. . . If one is forever seeking the interests, comforts, and happiness of the other, the love found in courtship and cemented in marriage will grow into mighty proportions.”

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Also add in colorful differences, or M&Ms.

Differences can at first glance seem to be an annoyance. “Why can’t he be more like this?” “Why can’t he do that?” “It is so obvious to me that..” “It would be so much easier if he would just…”

When differences start to annoy, it would be wise to look within. “Am I perfect? Do I do everything excellently? Am I the best parent and spouse in the world? Am I better than my spouse?” What will the answer be?

Pres Uchtdorf said, “ If we look for imperfections in our spouse or irritations in our marriage, we will certainly find them, because everyone has some. On the other hand, if we look for the good, we will surely find it, because everyone has many good qualities too.” He also said, “Rather than attempting to force everyone into a mold of our own making, we can choose to celebrate these differences and appreciate them for adding richness and constant surprises to our lives.”

If you look at differences in a positive way, you excitedly see that where you lack, he excels, and vice versa. You complete each other. You help each other grow. You give each other perspective.

What are some good differences you and your spouse have?

There are some things that aren’t easy with being different, like maybe how we communicate or show affection or handle conflict. If you talk together about your desires and needs, and go to the Lord for help, with a willingness to improve, you will both be blessed.

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Now mix all the ingredients well – this spoon represents consistent hard work and effort to keep your family strong and provided for. Both husband and wife must put in that effort.

You may have a spouse that you admire for his work ethic, or you may have one you wish did more.

If you are in the latter group, here is some advice:
- Communicate expectations together for work and roles. Make sure they are fair and doable.
- Say thank you for the things he does do well. This appreciation will motivate him to do more.
- Help each other learn new skills so you can both help more where help is needed.
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Notice how the dough is sticky. The ingredients are holding together, united in deliciousness. You may say that the ingredients making up the recipe for eternity are cleaving, which means to adhere firmly and closely or loyally and unwaveringly.

But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female.

For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife;

And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh.

What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder” (Mark 10:6-9).

*twain means two

Elder Henry B. Eyring made this profound statement, “Our Heavenly Father wants our hearts to be knit together. That union in love is not simply an ideal. It is a necessity.”

The commandment to cleave is meant to help us be united in righteousness, providing us with the greatest joy we could ever imagine. As the Lord said, “where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” Make sure your spouse is one of your greatest treasures. _____________________________________________________________________________________

Now it is time to enjoy eating this fabulous confection together.

I see the eating of the sweet as enjoying life together -being happy, laughing, finding joy in each other, and growing in love.

President Uchtdorf said, “Those who save marriages pull out the weeds and water the flowers. They celebrate the small acts of grace that spark tender feelings of charity. Remember why you fell in love. Work each day to make your marriage stronger and happier. It may be a gradual work, but it doesn’t have to be a cheerless one. In fact, at the risk of stating the obvious, divorce rarely happens when the husband and wife are happy. So be happy! Those who save their marriages choose happiness.”

President Spencer W. Kimball promised: “If two people love the Lord more than their own lives and then love each other more than their own lives, working together in total harmony with the gospel program as their basic structure, they are sure to have . . . great happiness.”

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I hope this lesson and activity help you and your spouse come closer together in love and righteousness. God bless!
October 7, 2016
I Love to See the Temple

This is one of my favorite children’s hymns, and has been since I was a child in Primary at The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I can barely sing it without becoming emotional, and I certainly can’t hear a choir of children sing it without tears falling like a waterfall down my cheeks.

To me, the temple is the house of God. It is the holiest place on earth. I know this with all of my heart, and it isn’t just because someone told me so. But before I explain my feelings, perhaps you might like to learn more about LDS temples. Please watch these brief, beautiful videos below.

I could feel that there was something special about the temple when I was a little girl singing “I Love to See the Temple.” I could feel it even more when I went on a trip with fellow teenage girls and our leaders the weekend I turned 12 to the Washington, DC Temple. I got to stand in front of that magnificent structure, wearing a borrowed wedding dress, smiling at the thought of my future.

Washington, DC LDS Temple

I remember my first time entering the Washington, DC temple. I was 12, and it was my first trip with the youth to do baptisms and confirmations for the dead. I can still smell the chlorine from the font. I remember looking down at my white-socked feet, fingering my white jump suit, waiting in silence on the benches, while staring at that beautiful font filled with blue water, standing on the strong backs of 12 oxen. I remember the man in the white suit who spoke us and told us the significance of what we were going to do. I remember feeling the comforting and peaceful presence of the Holy Ghost as I went under the water over and over for those who have gone before, and again as I sat in a chair which strong hands on my wet head, blessing me with the gift of the Holy Ghost on behalf of those who had been waiting for His companionship for many years.

The DC Temple Visitors Center has always been a special place for me. As a youth, I remember opening a large book with pictures of all the operating temples. Each one was absolutely beautiful in its own way. My favorite at the time was the San Diego Temple. I still haven’t been there, but I hope to visit someday. It amazes me how there are so many more temples now than there were when I was a teenager.

San Diego LDS Temple

I spoke in church when I was 17 about the temple, and I knew as I spoke that the temple really was a holy place, and that I wanted to make my own covenants there and be sealed in the temple to a worthy husband for time and all eternity. As a youth, I was taught the important of staying morally clean, and being the type of person I needed to be to be worthy of a righteous young man to take me by the hand, and be united with me forever in the house of the Lord.

When I was 19 1/2 years old, I made personal covenants with my Heavenly Father, and the following day, I knelt across a sacred altar and covenanted to cleave to my new husband in righteousness. I felt that I was making a beautiful decision – the most important of my life. The Holy Ghost had confirmed to me that this man was the man I was to be with for eternity – to bear children with, and to grow closer to God with.

Sadly, our marriage did not last. I would have kept my commitment to him forever, helping him with his weaknesses and vices, but he did not feel the same. It was a heart-wrenching time of my life, especially being young with a baby less than a year old. But, I always kept my faith that eternal marriage was a true principle, and that I wanted that again – this time truly for eternity.

Several years later, I met that man. I knew after not much time that he was the one that I wanted to make those sacred covenants with in the temple. Due to unforseen circumstances, we were married civilly at first, rather than in the temple. It was heartbreaking for me, but I knew in one year we could be sealed. By the time that one year came upon us, we had a newborn son named Rigel. He was less than two months old when we were sealed in the Raleigh, NC Temple. I testify to you right now that I have never felt the presence of the Holy Ghost more strongly than I did the day Jad and I were sealed, and then our beautiful baby boy was brought in to be sealed to us. If I didn’t already have a testimony of eternal families, it was unbreakable that day. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that my baby was bound to me and my husband not only for this life, but for eternity.

Raleigh LDS Temple

I have continued to have many spiritual experiences in the temple since that day more than five years ago. When I made covenants in the temple on behalf of my husband’s deceased grandmother, I felt a sure and distinct prompting that she had accepted those covenants. Jad and I both felt the Spirit so strongly when we knelt across the altar and sealed his grandmother to his grandfather, who had died many years before. I have had similar experiences with both family and strangers I have done work for.

Because of my firm belief of the sacredness and importance of temple covenants, I was insistent on attending my cousin’s, Lisa’s, temple wedding to her sweetheart, Sam, in June of this year. There were obstacles in my way from attending, but I never considered for a moment staying home. I knew that this day would be the most important and happiest day of my beloved cousin’s life. I was going to be there. And I went, with my mom and nana. It was truly a blessed experience. My love for my cousin, and my new cousin-in-law increased, as well as my testimony of the divinity of the marriage and family unit.

A little over a month ago, Jad and I drove our kids to the Raleigh Temple to see it for the first time. We felt bad that was the first time we had taken them, but we were still excited. The boys really enjoyed themselves. They could tell there was something special about that building and those grounds. The flowers and grass were perfectly manicured. The feeling there was peaceful and warm. You could see the calmness in their eyes and the happiness they felt just being there walking around. It made an impression on them, and Casey mentioned how he couldn’t wait to someday enter the temple and do baptisms for the dead.

Most recently, we had the most wonderful temple family experience of all. Over Labor Day Weekend, we made the over six-hour trip to Philadelphia with the primary reason of visiting the LDS Philadelphia Temple Open House. It wasn’t something that we planned to do well in advance, but we had friends who were going, and then we heard of more and more friends going. Jad and I then started to think, “Should we go? Can we go?”

As we thought about the possibilities, and started doing research, we both felt that it would be a wonderful and spiritual experience for our family. Our children would be able to not only see a temple, but walk inside of it. It was settled. We were going.

Jad took a day off work so we could go September 2-5. I spent more hours planning our trip than I would like to admit, from getting a hotel, to researching food and attractions, to reserving a spot at the open house, to researching some more. Finally, the day came to go. We felt the blessings of the Lord that whole weekend, from leaving the house on time, encountering nearly no traffic on the way, and having a very pleasant and beautiful drive up. We also felt the Lord’s hand financially – we would not have been able to afford that trip had we not just received a large refund after refinancing our house the month before.

That first night, we attended the Philadelphia Temple Open House. I was spiritually affected by the fact that the only place that whole day that we had really seen heavy traffic was right next to the temple. It took us over 15 minutes to approach a stoplight and then turn right to park. There were people everywhere who wanted to attend this open house – people from our church and people just curious to see it.

Philadelphia LDS Temple

The temple was beautiful, and we lit up with excitement as we saw it from our car. We couldn’t wait to enter. We started out by going inside a brand new LDS chapel across the street. We were led to a classroom with a TV and sister missionaries, who introduced the temple to us. I couldn’t stop the tears from flowing as we watched the presentation that talked about the blessings that come from temples and what we do in them. I felt my testimony of temples renewed just in watching that video. Tears don’t stream down my face for no reason – I was feeling the presence of the Holy Ghost.

After the lovely video, and sincere and sweet testimonies from the missionaries, we were led to the temple. We put shoe protectors on our feet to keep the temple clean, and then we were all able to go in. I can’t begin to express to you the beauty and serenity of the temple.

You can see pictures of the Philadelphia Temple here.

Throughout the tour, we ended up climbing up four flights of gorgeous stairs. The furniture, light fixtures, and coloring was wonderful. But, there was more. As we visited rooms like the baptismal font, the bridal room, the instruction room, the sealing room, etc., we could feel peace and love everywhere. My favorite rooms were the Chapel and the Celestial Room. In the Chapel area, we sat and listened to beautiful hymns on a self-playing organ. In the Celestial Room, there was no music or speaking. The guides let us just sit and take in the atmosphere. We stared at the huge chandelier and took in the sacredness of this meditation room. There wasn’t a sound to be heard, even with children in the room.

The whole experience was unforgettable. My children were entranced. Those of you who know my children know how wild they can be, but they were completely calm and obedient in the temple. They could feel it was a special place. When we exited, I felt so blessed to have been able to bring my children to the house of the Lord for the first time.

I was also so impressed at the calming and awesome effect being in the temple had for people not of our faith. Nobody was disrespectful or visibly disturbed or confused. Every person I saw in our group, a member of my church or not, was thoughtful and completely involved in the experience. It was hard to leave the safety of the temple. I almost wanted to go back in and go through it again. I am sure many people felt that way.

After our tour, we spent quite a lot of time in the visitors center next door, and then on the roof of that building looking at the shining temple before us. Out of the whole weekend, this was the premium experience.

But our special experiences with temples weren’t over that night. Monday, the day our Philadelphia vacation ended, we visited my beloved brother in Baltimore. We loved spending a few hours with him. Then, it was time to go home. Jad and I were both surprised when my GPS took us away from I-95 and onto I-495, a different route than on the way up.

It wasn’t long before I looked up and saw a shining beacon approaching in the distance. “Jad, it’s the temple!” Our hearts were filled with indescribable excitement at the site of the Washington, DC LDS temple. I quickly checked the GPS to see how far away it was – only 4 minutes. “We have to take the kids!”

So, we did. We didn’t care that we wouldn’t get home until late. We knew that we wanted our children to see and experience this beautiful temple – the first temple I ever entered as a teenager.

We started out at the large and amazing visitors center. The kids were so happy there. At first, I was worried they would be destructive or bored, but they weren’t. We spent well over an hour there, and could have easily stayed longer.

Casey loved looking at pictures of all the temples while Kamren couldn’t stop looking at the model of the temple. I couldn’t take my eyes off of the model of the inside of the temple. I recognized the paintings and chairs, and was completely in awe.

There was a new children’s section, and Rigel didn’t want to leave. He and Kamren both absolutely loved watching videos, listening to music, and playing games. Casey enjoyed learning more about the service our church does around the world, and watching videos about the experiences of different missionaries.

We even got our family picture taken in front of a backdrop of the beautiful temple. We had a marvelous time there. But, we couldn’t stop there. We had to walk down to actually look at this perfect, gorgeous structure.

The Angel Moroni was not on the temple because he was being cleaned and repaired. That was okay. The flowers, bees, and feelings around the temple brought the very same inner peace and joy as the Philadelphia Temple.

We got in the car again to finally go home, and we all felt completely blessed to have been able to be around two glorious houses of God in one weekend. Rigel said he didn’t want to leave, and it melted my heart.

I thank my Heavenly Father for the blessings of temples. I am grateful most of all that through temple ordinances, families can be united eternally. The temple will always be a holy and revered place in my home and family. I am grateful that this past weekend, my children could start building their own testimonies of the Lord’s holy house.

September 9, 2016
Wonderful

Today is my husband’s, Jad Al-Bjaly’s, 34^th birthday. He will probably tell you he is only 33 or 32. That is a joke that never gets old in our house, at least to him, haha.

Since it is his birthday, and since I have never done so before, I want to write a post that will honor him. I want the reader to get to know Jad from the inside out. I want my husband to know how wonderful I think he is, but most of all, I want him to know that he is wonderful. Sometimes I don’t think he realizes it, even when people tell him so.

Jad is from Amman, Jordan, so his first language is Arabic. When he came to the United States for the first time, he could barely speak any English. But, he immersed himself in it and learned little by little. He has continued to perfect his grammar since I met him in 2009. I hope everyone will think in their minds how difficult it is to learn another language. My husband has a strong accent and his spelling isn’t the best, but I admire him so much because he is bi-lingual. He knows two extremely difficult languages. It always makes me smile when he meets someone else on the phone or in person who speaks Arabic. They both seem to light up and become instant friends as they engage in the language of their birth.

My husband has one older brother, Tawfeeq. His father left his family when he was only seven, so he was mostly raised by his mother, Salma, with the help of his grandmother and aunts and uncles. His family was very poor. I am humbled every time he tells me about how often they bathed (or didn’t), how they had to conserve water, how they didn’t have air conditioning, how a huge amount of people lived in one small house with one bathroom and mattresses strewn all over the floor to sleep on. Sometimes Jad would even sleep under the stars on the balcony. I think having grown up with such hardship helped refine Jad into a self-reliant, giving, thankful, person who is determined to be a good father, husband, brother and son.

Jad loves the heat and the outdoors. Rock climbing, zip lining, running, playing soccer, camping (to name a few) are all loves of his. Unfortunately for him, I don’t like doing any of that, but he never complains. He has sons he will, and has experienced, these things with.

Most people that know Jad even a little, know he is a wonderful cook. Interestingly, though, he didn’t used to be. The first time he tried to make spaghetti, he didn’t realize he had to boil the noodles. He just had the dry noodles in a pot and kept adding sauce, hoping the noodles would cook. We always laugh at that story. To think that he learned how to cook mostly over the phone from his dear mother, Salma, is just amazing! Our family and friends simply love eating Jad’s cooking. He can whip anything up. He chops vegetables faster than anyone I know, and he knows just how to season anything from meat to pasta. He is so comfortable in the kitchen, and uses his talents to bless others’ lives. And he even cleans up his messes, which can be many. He can’t bake but that is okay. We make that my job, and joke at his expense about his baking capabilities (don’t worry, he laughs too).

He is not musically talented per se (we will call that my talent), but he still proudly sings in church meetings and with our children. He is wonderful at Arabic dancing, and finds so much joy in teaching our sons to do the same. Some of his favorite music is from the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. He is constantly listening to beautiful music while he cleans or does projects around the house.

Jad is a very hard worker. When he gets started on a project, he just keeps going for hours on end, never tiring. From landscaping, to gardening, to painting, to organizing, to building, he puts his all into it. This work ethic continues into his job and education. He is someone who wants to continue to progress throughout his life. He is currently studying for his CCNA certification. It is extremely difficult. He studies two nights a week on average (after having worked a full day at his job), and has a plan to achieve this certification by the Fall. He wants to support our family so that we have everything we need. He never stops learning. At work, his colleagues and superiors can count on him to find an answer when there isn’t one, or to volunteer for something that nobody else has ever attempted to do, like organize the server room (have you ever seen a server room? It can be scary).

He is also a very spiritual man. I am amazed at his knowledge of the gospel of Christ even after just eight years of being a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (I was impressed when I first met him before his 1-year mark). Today is his baptism anniversary. He is a wonderful spiritual leader in our home. Together, we make sure we study scriptures as a family, as a couple and individually daily. We pray together, do our family home evenings each week, share spiritual messages on social media often, do service as often as we can, go to the temple every month we can, and strive to set a righteous example for our children in word and in deed.

My kids have the best dad in the world. Casey is not Jad’s biological son, but he has raised him from the age of four. He loves Casey as his own, and teaches him how to be a good person.

No matter how tired Jad is after work, he will play with our kids until they get tired (which is usually never). His smile and laughter are just as precious as those of our children. He is such a fun dad in every way, and he takes his responsibility as a father incredibly seriously. He plays with them, teaches them, disciplines them, and most importantly, loves them. He gives as many kisses, provides as many snuggles, and says “I love you” as much as I do. The boys have no doubt that their daddy cherishes them. And soon, he will be able to raise his very own little girl. He is more excited about it than even I know.

Jad is also a wonderful husband. Sometimes I don’t see the big picture, and that is usually when we have quarreled in some way. Jad and I are both stubborn and sensitive. That doesn’t always work when there are feelings hurt or buttons pushed. But, I can’t imagine spending my eternity with anyone else. All the reasons above should be enough reasons, but he is so good to me. When he comes home and not everything is done, I usually am apologetic or annoyed at myself. But he always tells me that it’s okay, and gives me a kiss. He knows that I work hard every day, and he immediately offers to help me finish all that needs to be done. If I need a nap or need to get out of the house, he says, “Go ahead, honey.” He never accuses me of laziness or of making excuses. He knows that I am not that way, and he is completely understanding. He trusts me completely with our finances and with planning our weeks and months. He trusts my judgment on things. If he has concerns, he will express them, but ultimately trusts me because he knows that I make my decisions thoughtfully and prayerfully. He supports me in my endeavors, from starting (or quitting) a business to participating in a musical. We make big decisions together as a couple, and he never tries to be in charge of me or tell me what to do. He sees me as an equal partner, and we work together with God to do what is best for our family. He also does nice things for me and makes me feel special. He has made so many beautiful things for me with his hands, things I will cherish forever. He genuinely loves me, appreciates me, and thinks I am beautiful. We have also endured some scary trials and witnessed beautiful miracles together that have increased our faith.

I didn’t have to think very hard to write all this, and as I wrote from my heart, tears have streamed down my face the whole time. I am not creative like my husband, but I can write the words of my heart. He would never talk about himself the way I have just spoken about him. He is too humble and doesn’t see himself as more than ordinary. But, to me, he is extraordinary and the perfect father and husband to our family.

I love you, Jad, and I hope this birthday is your most precious yet.

July 22, 2016
What Do We Do?
May I state the obvious? I am not black. Quite the opposite. I am white, but may I state something that isn’t quite so obvious? That isn’t stopping me from being in tears after reading about Alton Sterling and Philando Castile – two black men with loving families, who were brutally killed by police officers this week.

Alton Sterling

Philando Castile

You may expect me as a white woman to say that maybe there is something we don’t know; maybe the police were justified; or let’s stop generalizing cop on black behavior. No, I am not going to say any of those things.

You may expect me to turn my back, or say let’s stop focusing on this because #AllLivesMatter. No, I am not going to do that either.

Rather, I am going to mourn for these men and their families. I am going to mourn with all the black men and women in this country who feel scared, inferior, angry, persecuted, and fed up.

Good people all around us are posing the question: #WhatDoWeDo?

Have you ever seen a movie or read a story where a force of evil desires to take over the world, and through his cunning devices becomes stronger and stronger until it seems all hope is lost? Well, how is he defeated? It is by good people joining together with courage and a higher purpose. It is when they realize the impact they can have together, and stop fearing the evil force, that they can defeat him.

These movies and stories, though perhaps fantasy, are filled with so much truth. For those of us who are God-fearing, the force of evil we all know is Satan. He is the real enemy, and he is the one behind all the horrible crimes of this earth, including brutal, senseless murder. He works in mysterious ways, sometimes by making evil look good, telling us that it’s not that bad, or nobody really cares, or do what makes you feel good, or that is the way it is supposed to be.

William Shakespeare

He also preys on our weaknesses – perhaps hot tempers, racist upbringing, or pride – and then leads us down the path to destruction if we let him.

Are we letting him? I can tell you one thing for certain – it is only the unconditional love of God and our fellow man that will defeat him. Are we doing that?

Reactions to these recent killings have been all over the map, from despair to threats of violent uprisings. Which reactions, and actions, will bring God’s influence? Which show sincere love?

Though our natural inclinations may lead us to argue, separate ourselves because of stereotypes and generalizations, speak hateful words to and about individuals or groups of people, use foul language, or even curse God, there is truly a better way.

Instead of…
- blaming the victims, pray for their families and friends.
- minimizing what has happened by making generalizations or quoting statistics, see these people as real people. See and feel the tragedy of the moment.
- pushing people away from your race who you think don’t understand you, join hands as brothers and sisters, and friends, in the fight for right.
- pointing fingers at government, communities, guns, or anything else, seek for understanding so you can help change perspectives and find real answers.
- demanding a tooth for a tooth, pray for the strength to forgive, as God forgives.
- shaking your head at those who want to show that #BlackLivesMatter, remember that it could be you in another facet. If your race, religion, culture, gender or creed were under attack, wouldn’t you want to say that your identity mattered?
- protesting with hateful words, raging fire in your hearts, and thoughts of anything goes, stand up for your beliefs with knowledge, respect, and tenderness.
- making violence your first resort, make it your last.
- focusing on differences, thus causing divisions, focus on similarities. We are all members of the human race, and are all children of God. That is what matters most.
Pray for discernment, my friends. No matter how you fit into these tragedies, and so many others of same or different origin, you must have discernment to know the good from the evil, the right from the wrong, the light from the dark, and the truth from the lies.

I am not sure that we can directly stop senseless violence from happening, from police violence to terrorist attacks, but the more soft, loving, kind, courageous, peaceful hearts there are in this world, the less power Satan will have over our brothers and sisters, and us. When we shine as a light, that light touches others. They can feel the warmth, and see the light. They can feel God’s love for them, and for those around them.

We must share our light – share the love of Christ, and then, we can truly make a difference.

Update: My heart is aching even more after finding out last night that five Dallas officers were killed during a protest regarding the deaths of Alton Sterling and Philando Castile. This violence and hatred is the opposite of everything that we must do to make a change. Some of my friends are focusing on the tragic deaths of these officers, and others are focusing on the deaths of Sterling and Castile. In my opinion, to really make a change, we must unite as brothers and sisters. We must see the devastation of all tragedies, and mourn for all. This will be the only way to prove we value all life and wish for peace.
July 7, 2016
Are they RIGHT about me?

Compliments are meant to lift us up and make us feel good inside. But does criticism also have a place in our lives?

Whether we realize it or not, people are constantly saying negative things about us, either to us or behind our backs. My son had a bad experience last week at recess when a boy was picking on him. He was getting in his face and telling him what an awful basketball player he was. He was mean and condescending. It hurt Casey’s feelings. When he told me about it, he said he knew what the boy said wasn’t true, but I heard a tinge of doubt in his voice.

So, how do we know if a disapproving comment made to us about our skills, talents, character, etc., is true? How do we know if we should take it to heart, or change, or give up?

I think the easiest way to know is to follow the “WHO WHAT WHEN WHERE WHY HOW” method. I exclude small children from this method because pretty much anything they say is done without a filter, and the good, bad, even the ugly, is usually true, much to our embarrassment and dismay. (You know you are thinking of a time and nodding.)

WHO is the one making the comments about you? Is it someone who knows you well, someone who cares about you, someone who you trust, or is it someone who generally doesn’t speak to you or get along with you?

Now, sometimes the WHO is tricky, because even the people who are supposed to love and care about us the most can say things that aren’t true.

Another important thing to consider is WHO else has said these things about you? Was it just this person, or are there others? Has anyone told you the opposite, and do you trust that person? In my son’s basketball situation, two of his close friends comforted Casey by saying that they thought his basketball playing had readily improved over the year, and that he does a great job.

WHAT is the person saying? Is the person using words like always and never? Is he using words that belittle or uplift? Is he saying things that you already know or suspect are true, or things you have never thought about before?

The WHAT is also tricky, because when under extreme stress, sadness, etc., sometimes even the kindest people say hurtful things. Additionally, sometimes we are unaware of our own downfalls, weaknesses, and bad habits. Let’s keep thinking.

WHEN is the person talking to you? Is it during a fight, or is it when you are speaking calmly to each other? Knowing the WHEN can help you determine if what the person said was rational, or just based on heightened emotions.

Also, think about how many times a person has said the same thing to you. Oftentimes, especially if someone we love says something multiple times in different occasions, there is truth to it. In those cases, even though the first couple times the person said it, he may have said it calmly, don’t be surprised if that calm becomes irritation or anger.

WHERE are you when the person says these comments? Are you in public where everyone can hear, or are you in private where discretion is appropriate? Sincere compliments are often quite appropriate to be said in public settings, but criticism is normally best said in private. So, thinking of the WHERE can help you determine if the person is trying to help you or hurt you.

HOW is the person making these comments? Is he angry and irrational, or is he trying to be objective and helpful? Is he in your face and yelling, or is he calm and focused? Is he engaged in the conversation, giving you eye contact? How is his inflection? Is he frowning, smiling, scowling, laughing?

Someone who really wants to help you will act a certain way. I think you can guess how.

WHY is perhaps the hardest of all, because that is something we often have to figure out on our own, based on past interactions with a person, and based on the other questions we just discussed.

Since there are some cases when criticism is positive, and necessary for personal growth, then there must be people who offer it with the best intentions. I believe that the people who truly love us want to help us be the best we can be. So, in appropriate moments, they may gently mention opportunities for improvement.

On the other hand, someone who doesn’t care about your best interests doesn’t care if he hurts your feelings or if what he is saying is even true.

He may be saying those things because he is envious of you, because he has been treated similarly by others, because he is insecure or unhappy in his own skin, or maybe even because he has a mental illness and cannot control all he says.

I went through a time in my life when the person who was supposed to love me the most, treated me the worst. I was often called worthless and unimportant. Was it true? To him, perhaps. To me? Well, it ate at me, and even though in the back of my mind, I knew it wasn’t true, I couldn’t believe that someone who loved me would talk to me that way. There must have been a WHY. For this person, I believe part of it was self-inflicted shame because of harmful choices he was making and hiding from me.

I think the WHO, WHAT, WHEN, WHERE AND HOW are what help us know if what someone is saying is worth holding onto, but the WHY helps us understand, and hopefully have compassion on that person – enough compassion to forgive and move forward.

Doesn’t all this seem obvious? Yet, it isn’t. I have spoken to so many people damaged, seemingly beyond repair, because of hateful, often repeated, attacks to their character, talents, education, relationships and lifestyle. Even when they know that something shouldn’t be true, hearing it makes them doubt themselves, and fear that it could be.

If you are one of these people, know that you are doing better than you think you are, and certainly better than those who verbally abuse you.

Every person on this earth is a beloved child of God. We all have that going for us, and Christ atoned for us all. Nobody is better than anybody else. Pride is a big cause of verbal mistreatment.

Let us all try to be humble, and see our own weaknesses clearly before we point out others’. And if we do point out others’ faults, let us do it appropriately, in love and gentleness, with a true desire to bless the lives of others.

May 26, 2016
I learned, not failed
Have you ever prayed out loud pleading, sobbing, hoping, asking?

I did that recently. I had to. I was so confused, emotionally and physically exhausted, and feeling that I wasn’t doing my part well enough.

March 18-19 2016, my mom and I attended an event in Raleigh put on by Deseret Book called Time Out for Women (TOFW).

My feelings about this event are best summarized by my Facebook post on the 19^th: Last night and today have been one of the greatest experiences I have had for a long time. My mom is with me. We are seeing old friends, feeling the Spirit, laughing, learning, and crying. The music and speakers are all phenomenal, and I look forward to the rest of today!‪

This event changed my perspective, and possibly my life.

I took many notes during the event, as all the speakers and performers had such lovely and insightful things to say. Here are some of the points that meant the most to me:
1. John Bytheway, spoke of gardens. The garden was a metaphor for one’s testimony of Christ and His gospel. He said that all you have to do to lose your garden is nothing. Am I currently working to increase my testimony, or am I letting the weeds grow? Among many other important metaphors and points, he quoted this by Neal A. Maxwell: “In conclusion, the submission of one’s will is really the only uniquely personal thing we have to place on God’s altar. The many other things we “give,” brothers and sisters, are actually the things He has already given or loaned to us. However, when you and I finally submit ourselves, by letting our individual wills be swallowed up in God’s will, then we are really giving something to Him! It is the only possession which is truly ours to give!” I do try to give my will to God. It was His will that I start my business, for example. I just wish I knew why…
2. Jenny Oaks Baker, the most beautiful violinist I have ever heard, said that we should have faith in the Lord, not in that certain things will happen in our lives. Am I dreaming too much, and not thinking enough about my faith?
3. Wendy Ulrich talked of failing verses learning. She said failure doesn’t define us or finish us. We learn instead of fail. She asked us to think to ourselves, “What risk do I need to take even though I am afraid to fail?” What if I quit my business? I would be a failure, right? If not, what on earth am I learning?
4. Mary Ellen Edmunds talked about an African saying – “I am well if you are well.” She said that love is the best medicine and that we should give another dose if one doesn’t work. She quoted Thoreau: “Love is the only investment that never fails.” She testified that kindness and love bring power over mind, heart and behavior. Am I giving enough love? If love is the only investment that never fails, I need to do more investing.
5. A sweet local from Cary said, “God gave us everything. All He asks is sacrifice from us.” Am I sacrificing enough for Him?
6. Eric Huntsman said that he learned about Jesus on his mother’s knee. This image struck me to the core, and I felt incredibly inadequate. Will my kids learn from my knee? I felt that my priorities should be teaching the gospel to my children. I starred a couple scriptures that he quoted:
  1. Alma 5:26 – And now behold, I say unto you, my brethren, if ye have experienced a change of heart, and if ye have felt to sing the song of redeeming love, I would ask, can ye feel so now? Can I ?
  2. 1 John 3:2 – Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is. All that matters is that I am like Him.
7. Calee Reed was the extremely talented singer on the second day. She spoke about how we should always remember we are daughters of God and that He loves us. She said that knowing that helps her feel better about herself and the mundane things she has to do as a mother. I struggle with the mundane. That is why I try so hard to make something of myself and do, do, do.
8. Sandra Turley quoted the song “We Must Sing” by Rob Gardner. My favorite verse was: “God made our voices, but we must make them sing. God gave us voices so we must sing.” She said we need to grow our testimony of Christ before our talents, and then use our talents to share our testimony. She said we must give our kids faith or we have given little. We must sing to defend God. I have talents, and I used to use them all the time for sharing my testimony and defending God. Now, I don’t have time to do my blogging…
  1. During her talk, when she was talking about praising God, I had a random thought, and that was that God doesn’t care about our weight or what we look like on the outside. Do we as women focus on that too much? My business focuses a lot on outside looks (well, inner health too).
9. Emily Belle Freeman gave a touching talk about true friendships and hospitality. During her talk, I had a few thoughts:
  1. We shouldn’t do something for what it will do for us, because we already have all we need with God and family. Wow, I really do, don’t I?
  2. Sometimes something is right, but not right now. What should wait?
  3. The mundane isn’t really mundane. Wow, I really haven’t had time to do the mundane lately. I wish I had more time to keep my home clean or cook nice meals…
These were my favorite points from TOFW, though the entire event nourished my soul, and helped me bond with my mom. As we drove home from Raleigh, I ended up in tears as I spoke to her. I told her of my concerns about not having enough time for my family and for the things that matter most. I told her many of the things that stuck out to me from TOFW, and that I felt like I wasn’t doing those things well enough.

My greatest concern was my business with It Works. I reminded her and myself of the strong, overwhelming spiritual prompting I had gotten to start my business less than six months before. I was just so confused. I couldn’t quit! Not when He had told me to do this. It has only been a short time!

Once we arrived back to her home, I said hello to my dad, and hugged my mom goodbye to drive my car home. During that ride home was when I gave my desperate and fervent vocal prayer to my Heavenly Father. I tried to be as in tune with the Spirit as possible as I communed with Him.

When I came home, I wrote down my thoughts:
1. The financial dreams my family wrote together don’t really matter.
2. We have ALL we need already.
3. I don’t have to do my book right now (a desire I have had for some time.)
4. I have no time for love, and that is what I need most.
5. My final thought was that my family needs to be together all the time – that was a worthwhile dream.
I saw number 5 as a somewhat comforting reason to remain with my business. And life went on for nearly a month. I continued working my business, but the joy wasn’t there. The motivation and inspiration wasn’t there. The success I had seen before wasn’t happening.

Then, the morning of April 12, I went to my church Institute class about the Savior.

The Spirit touched me to the very center when we read this scripture (Alma was quoting the prophet Zenos, and what he said about prayer):

And thou didst hear me because of mine afflictions and my sincerity ; and it is because of thy Son that thou hast been thus merciful unto me, therefore I will cry unto thee in all mine afflictions , for in thee is my joy; for thou hast turned thy judgments away from me, because of thy Son. Alma 33:11

What part struck me? The very small line: “For in thee is my joy.”

I was overcome with my lack of joy at that time. My business wasn’t bringing me joy. I was overworked physically and mentally. I had so much going on in my life that I couldn’t breathe. Where is my joy? Is should be in Christ, and I have not had time to focus on Him!

In the next lesson that same day, we talked about Christ’s second coming.

We read a powerful quote from Elder Dallin H. Oaks: “While we are powerless to alter the fact of the Second Coming and unable to know its exact time, we can accelerate our own preparation and try to influence the preparation of those around us. … “What if the day of His coming were tomorrow? If we knew that we would meet the Lord tomorrow—through our premature death or through His unexpected coming— what would we do today? What confessions would we make? What practices would we discontinue? What accounts would we settle? What forgiveness would we extend? What testimonies would we bear? “If we would do those things then, why not now? Why not seek peace while peace can be obtained? If our lamps of preparation are drawn down, let us start immediately to replenish them.”

This quote hit me like a ton of bricks. I knew that I would do things so much differently if I knew that the Savior were to return tomorrow. Nothing was more clear to me at that moment than that I needed to quit my business. I knew that though it wasn’t a bad endeavor, it was stopping me from preparing myself, my family, and those around me spiritually for Christ. I had realized earlier that day that in Christ should be my joy. He is everything. What was I giving to Him?

So, I went home that day feeling that I really needed to get rid of something. I knew the first thing was definitely my business. I was a little scared, but I prayed for reassurance, and I got it. Within a few hours, I sent a sincere and heartfelt email to my upline and friend, Amber.

I told her how I had been struggling with my business for quite some time. Financially, it wasn’t providing for me, even though I was working hard. In the past months, if I ever felt discouraged and ready to quit, I could feel God bless me with a new customer or a new promotion or a new idea. But, that had not been happening. My distributors weren’t working, and potential customers weren’t signing. I had taken a blow just a couple weeks before realizing that even if I promote, I have to requalify for my rank each month. Where is the stability and consistency in that?

I gave her many reasons for thinking of quitting, like my joy and desire wavering. I told her that “this business has not done for me what is most important for my family and for my spirituality,” and “the time I have devoted has taken me away from things I love, including blogging.”

I said, “I know that to be really successful, I need this business to become my top priority, but if I have felt anything lately, it is that my family and my devotion to Christ must be my top priority. I don’t have to be wealthy and my husband doesn’t have to stay at home.”

I told her that I didn’t regret doing It Works, but I hadn’t felt peace with it for some time. I told her that “writing this email with my thoughts is bringing me a lot of peace.”

My initial thought was that I wouldn’t quit until the end of the week. I would give it some time to see if anything happened that would help me be successful. But, then, when my husband got home that evening, we had a tearful heart to heart. I told him about the email, and about my thoughts. I felt the Spirit as I told him that my priorities needed to shift and that our family and God is all that matters.

He told me he was proud of me and that he could tell I was making decisions with the Spirit. He reassured me that he is happy to work, and that we don’t have to be rich. Our dreams were good, but our family is what matters most.

So, that night, I emailed Amber again and told her that I would indeed be quitting. It felt so good.

She did not write me back right away, and after several days, I was worried that she was really angry with me. It turns out my email had gone to her spam folder, and I was so relieved and grateful that she was really supportive and understanding.

It has been a couple weeks since I decided to quit my business, and I have not felt regret. I reflected on the prayer I had on the way home from TOFW, and I realized my interpretation of the thought that my family needs to be together all the time was wrong. What Heavenly Father was telling me was that my family needed to be together eternally – that is all that matters.

That interpretation has inspired me. I am still catching up on many “to dos” since the musical has been over (something else that took much of my time, but was such a blessing), but soon that list will get smaller and smaller until I can focus my time and attention on loving my family, doing the mundane things that aren’t so mundane, giving service, and sharing the gospel through my blog.

I have asked myself a few times why did Heavenly Father want me to start my business in the first place if I was only going to quit in six months?

I wish I had a true answer for that. Jad thinks that maybe the skills I learned in networking will help me reach more people with my blog. I did learn a new skill and overcome a fear of videotaping myself speaking. Perhaps that will become useful someday. Or, maybe it is as Wendy Ulrich said : maybe it isn’t failing; it is learning.

Well, I have learned a lot. And the love I was missing is coming back to me. I thank God for His infinite wisdom, and for His hand in my life. I know He knows what is best for me, and that He desires my joy!

I must make a clarification that I am in no way saying that home businesses are not a good thing, or that dreams of financial freedom aren’t merited, or that an absence of joy in something is always a justified reason to move on. I simply mean that for me, and for my family, there is another plan at this time. The only thing I can continue to do is to follow where the Spirit leads me, and be willing to give my entire will to God (the only thing of mine I can truly give), no matter what.

If He is the guide on my journey and I always choose to follow Him, my destination will always be Heaven, either on earth or in the eternities.
April 28, 2016
Why Everyone should be in a Musical
This past Saturday, ended a time of my life that was most precious – my time rehearsing for and performing in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang with the Durham Stake of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

I wouldn’t trade that time for the world. There is something incredibly unique about participating in a musical. The experiences you have can’t be found in their entirety in any other way.

I have loved musicals since I was 13. The first musical I ever heard was The Phantom of the Opera, in my 8^th grade Drama class. Throughout my entire adolescence, I drank in as many musicals as I could. I would sing them as loudly as I could in my room, and play them on the piano (while also singing). I felt like I could be anybody when I sang from these musicals, and as I sang, I felt I was them.

In high school, I had the pleasure of playing Hodel in Fiddler on the Roof my Sophomore Year, and then Catherine in Pippin my Senior year.

A couple years ago, I was able to perform in another musical by my Stake called Sing Down the Moon: Appalachian Wonder Tales. That was a special experience because I got to perform with my son, Casey, for the first time, and also work with people of many different ages.

Now, after this performance of Chitty, I know that my love of musicals will always run through my veins, and I want to share with you now why I think everyone should be in a musical sometime in their lives:
1. You get to go through the audition process!
You might be thinking, “Isn’t that the least exciting, and scariest part?” Actually, to me, it is a huge motivator. Once I know what show is being done, I do my research. If I don’t know what the show is about already, I find out. I listen to the music. Then, I determine which role/roles I want to be considered for. Once I do that, I very carefully choose a song and monologue to showcase how I perceive the character.

For Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, I knew without a doubt I wanted to play the Baroness. I knew her role would be challenging because she has to have impeccable comedic timing, she has to be noticed at all times, and she has to be a likable character while also portraying clearly that she hates/fears children.

It took me a long time to decide what song I wanted to audition with, but I finally chose “Let’s Go to the Movies” from Annie. With this song, I could move, be a little sassy, and show the richness of my voice. A monologue wasn’t required for the auditions, but I wanted to go above and beyond. I knew easily that I wanted to portray Helga Pataki from my favorite childhood show, Hey Arnold. She is one who has a cruel exterior, but a mushy heart for her true love. She is incredibly animated, and her voice goes quite high pitched, like how I imagined the Baroness speaking.

Auditions were really fun. I loved having Casey with me for that. He chose to sing ”Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious” from Mary Poppins because it was a song he loved and was comfortable doing. That was perfect for him.

I was thrilled to receive a callback for the Baroness. We were given songs to practice and a couple scenes to go over. You better believe I practiced and practiced, and practiced some more. I asked my high school theater teacher, Carol Halbert, for advice, and she said to perform so that the director sees nobody else but me. I took that to heart, and erased all fear and reservations.

For example, instead of just crawling around half-heartedly during a scene where the Baroness freaks out about children coming to Vulgaria, I thought out how a small child throws a tantrum, and did that myself – kicking, screaming, and rolling around.

Everyone laughed their heads off, and I was pleased. By the same token, I also had a blast watching other people’s interpretations of the Baron, Baroness, and the Spies. Everyone was hilarious in their own ways, that it was really hard to guess who would be cast. I honestly would have been happy for anyone. I could see from that day that I was going to make some great friendships in the show.

I truly believe that the audition and call back process is a premium way for you to get your head in the game, be completely committed, and to enter the realm of the musical.
1. You can forget everything else about your life when you are at rehearsal.
There aren’t that many places you can go where you can completely focus on something else, and let the rest of the world pass you by. Theater is one avenue you can do that, because you literally are in another place, and you are portraying another person other than yourself. Even though rehearsing is very hard work, it is also relaxing in that you can leave the rest of your cares behind for a couple hours.
1. You get to wear clothes, and do your hair and makeup in a way you never would otherwise.
I am not the type of person who would wear silky pajamas with a red feathery robe, or a soft pink night gown in public. I wouldn’t wear a skin tight dress that sparkles so much, it hurts your eyes either. But, I did in the musical, and rather than cause me embarrassment, it enhanced the character of the Baroness.

And the last night I wore that gold dress, my co-Baroness even told me I looked “hot.” It sure gave me the confidence to get on stage and do the “Bombie Samba” one last time.

I have a cool story about one of my costumes. In Chitty, I played Baroness Bomburst two out of the four nights, but the other nights I played a small part called Miss Phillips. She was a cold, biting, humorless woman, who was unwilling to help Caractacus Potts in any way. I was having the hardest time finding a costume that felt right for her. Well, something told me to look around my closet one more time, and I remembered a khaki dress I had. Yeah, I don’t wear khaki, but the dress was given to me, and I always felt I shouldn’t get rid of it. Well, I felt that this was the reason – I needed it for Miss Phillips. (Ironically, nobody took a picture of me in this costume.)

I must give a special thank you to my sister, Mariah, for providing most of my big, blingy jewelry for the show. I can’t tell you how many times I got compliments on my earrings, bracelets, rings and necklaces for the show. It’s nice to have a sister who loves bling!

I felt I definitely learned some new makeup skills from this show. It is funny – when I first started putting on the makeup for dress rehearsals, I was so embarrassed about it because it was so bright, but by the time the show was over, I thought that my normal amount of makeup was too light.

I asked a friend of mine, Sarah Jarvis, to do my hair for the Baroness because she is amazing with hair. I loved spending time with her as she did this act of service for me.

The kids in the show, who played Vulgarian children, took their hair and makeup very seriously as they rubbed brown all over their faces, and teased their hair up so much that I feared they would never be able to brush it again.

Choosing your costumes, and doing your hair and makeup right for a show takes creativity and artistic talent. It is so much fun to do!
1. You have so much fun together, you form beautiful friendships and even feel like family.
My church is huge, and I definitely don’t know all the church members in my area. Some people started out being acquaintances, and ended up being close friends. Others, who I had never met, became people who I will always feel comfortable with and will smile at in the future. I got to make friends with men, women, teens, and children. I just love youth so much, and bonding with them made me feel young and relevant.

The cast really had so much fun together. One example is that while backstage before the “Bombie Samba,” all the Vulgarians would pretend to be the Baron and Baroness as they spoke and sang. It was extra funny and poignant to me because I knew that two nights of the four, they were doing that to my voice.

My greatest friendship formed from Chitty was a result of giving rides to neighbors who were in the show. Katie Ricks, who is 16, is a young lady that I now call a close friend. She and I went to many rehearsals with just the two of us, and we had such fun, and sometimes, deep conversations, about important things like boys. I am grateful for her friendship!

It was so evident to me just how much the cast had become my family on closing night. Before the show started, the cast sang “Families Can Be Together Forever,” and as tears streamed down my face, I thought of how we really were like a family, and how I would cherish these memories and experiences for the rest of my life. That whole night, I kept tearing up because I knew it was the last time we could sing “Chitty Chitty Bang Bang” together, help each other with hair and makeup, or talk with our Vulgarian or British accents.

I was so grateful to members of the cast during the show that night too. My son, Casey, came down with a bad earache, and so many people helped him, either by offering medicine, consoling him, or giving him direction to lie down and let his ear drain. Because these people cared about my son, they helped him and gave him the ability to continue on and finish out the show.
1. You have to put your trust in others.
The first type of trust I am thinking of is trust in one’s safety. In the show, I had to trust a lot of people when I was the Baroness. I had to trust Christian, who played the Baron, that he wouldn’t drop me when dipping me low to the ground, or that he wouldn’t hurt me right after that as he threw me on the stage. I had to trust that when I fainted into teenage girls and rolled across all of them, that they would hold me up, and not send me crashing down. I had to then trust the Baron to catch me right after that. I had to trust people to help the Baron and I get down the stage steps safely while we were tied together.

The hardest thing for me was to trust a group of men to pick me up, as I fainted to the side, and carry me to the center of the stage. The first time I realized I had to do that, I freaked out a little, but I learned to trust them.

I also had to trust that those I acted with would work hard, learn their lines, and desire for us to do our best. I had to trust that those who gave me advice were helping me look and sound even better. Thankfully, with this fine group of people, that wasn’t hard to do at all.

One of the best pieces of advice I got had to do with the lift in the Samba, actually. Lisa, the stage manager, told me to fall to the side with one leg raised. After the men lifted me, I would then cross my other leg over. That piece of advice immediately changed everything – I was no longer afraid of the lift – in fact, I looked forward to it. I am grateful for all the advice I got from my director, the producer, and the music directors.
1. You have to be disciplined and focused.
If you have never acted, sung or danced in front of others, you may take for granted how difficult that really is. You can work for hours and weeks on a scene or song, and still not be satisfied with it. It takes repetition, analysis of scenes and characters, accepting and applying of feedback, and consistent effort to get good enough to perform. If you don’t believe it, the audience won’t. To be successful in theater, you must also stay focused on your character. No matter what happens on stage – a mistake in a line, the forgetting of a line, or even an unexpected trip or fall, you must stay in character, or else the audience will stop believing.

The last Friday I played the Baroness, the little Vulgarian children tied us up really tight in the Happy Birthday banner. They had to pull us to downstage right, and that night they pulled us too hard and the Baron and I both tumbled to the ground. We could have gasped, or laughed, or cried out in pain, but we stayed in character. What made it even harder to stay in character, was the adorable kids on stage who worriedly asked us if we were okay and extended loving arms to lift us up. Seeing as how they were playing characters who hated us, and I was playing a character who feared them, it was interesting to make that work. I accepted their help hesitantly, but out of necessity, all the while pretending like it was disgusting to have them touch me. And It wasn’t until after we got off stage that I burst out in uncontrollable laughter, and then realized my knee hurt.

Speaking of the Baron, Christian was the definition of focused and disciplined. Sometimes I almost thought he was too focused on rehearsing. He liked to take every spare moment to run a song or lines. I came to really value that quality, though. Had he not done that, I am not sure our scenes would have been as polished.

I have to tell a story of a tender mercy, too. There were times during the duration of the show that I was insanely busy and felt I was drowning. I was certainly focused and disciplined, but I just didn’t have the time to memorize all my lines by the date Taunja requested it. So, I did the best I could by memorizing only what I thought we would be rehearsing on a given night. Well, one rehearsal (the first off-book rehearsal, in fact), we were supposed to only go over the “Choochie Face” scene. I memorized that and practiced it quite a bit. But, because some other things got done more quickly than expected, Taunja wanted us to go over several other scenes. I nearly panicked. I said a little prayer, and asked Bethany if she could do the scenes before me. Well, with God’s help, I was able to memorize the lines to each scene in the few minutes while Bethany went over each one. I am not that fast of a memorizer – I know God helped me, and I believe He did because He knew my heart. He knew I was dedicated, but that I needed a little extra help. I find that is true in my life in general – when I do the best I can, God makes up the difference.
1. You learn to be humble and work as a team, rather than competitors.
No matter what, there will be someone who sees something you don’t, or has an idea you didn’t come up with, or does something better than you, or receives more praise than you. I have seen actors in the past, with lead roles, that are kind of snobby towards others because of it. They do themselves a disservice in doing so. I never felt that anyone was that way in Chitty, but rather took the opportunity to seek advice from others, and realize that alone, nobody can perform perfectly.

I was the Baroness only half the time, and spent much of my time rehearsing alongside Bethany, the other Baroness. For the first couple months of rehearsal, we didn’t work together much, though, other than with learning songs. She and I both had a different Baron. Then, one day, we started sharing our Baron, and though it was hard at first, we made it work. We didn’t get jealous of each other, and Christian was so good to both of us.

Rather than be competitive with each other, and try to prove that we were the better actress, we worked together. We helped each other, and gave each other tips. We accepted those tips graciously. It was a lovely partnership.

One example of a victory that came from us working together, was when the three of us started researching tantrum videos for toddlers. We weren’t getting the tantrum scene just right, and wanted inspiration. Well, we found a video of a kid who was hitting irrationally, and we had an Aha moment. We spent quite a while taking turns trying new ways to do our tantrum, and by the end, we felt so much better about it! It ended up being one of the most fun and hilarious scenes of the show (maybe we are biased, but my friend, Kimberly, did say she was laughing so hard, she cried, when she saw that scene).
1. You rejoice in the success of others.
I think this goes along with humility. In a musical, you can choose to only focus on yourself and how well you are doing, or you can take the time to observe others around you and appreciate their grand performances. It always meant so much to me when someone would smile at me and tell me I did a great job on a song I sang, or a tantrum I did. It really helped motivate me to continue on and do my best. I also tried to do that for the rest of my cast. I truly did admire everyone for their hard work, poise, professionalism, can-do attitudes, helping hands, and cheerful demeanors. We sure had a cast full of hilarity, awesome dance moves, and angelic singing voices.

I remember a few times while watching the show from the sidelines (either during rehearsals or performances) that I felt just how wonderful people were. Some examples were:
1. Hearing the audience cheer as they saw the tiny blimp carry Grandpa’s tiny laboratory across the sky (Lisa, our stage manager, spent many hours perfecting it, and it was perfect).
2. Watching the bamboo dancers do acrobatics I could never do, and cheerfully too!
3. Seeing our new turkey farmer for the first time do his scene, and how he did it perfectly.
4. Hearing how Anjuli perfected her accent for Violet.
5. Listening to the angelic music of “Hushabye Mountain” or “Lovely, Lonely Man.”
6. Laughing hysterically at the inventors, or at the spies as they moved across the stage.
7. Watching Bethany do the tantrum so perfectly, I laughed like I had never seen it before.
8. Hearing Taunja excitedly praise the puppies for being so adorable, and the kids for making her cry when singing “Teamwork.”
1. You understand that each and every person plays an essential part in the success of the show.
It would be a mistake to assume that the lead actors are the most important part of a musical, or that really any one group of people (cast or crew) is more important. All of us make those wheels turn, from the person who opens and closes the curtain, to the people who move the props, to the sound and light technicians, to anyone and everyone. We are all crucial to believability and enjoyability of the musical.

Someone who cannot be missed is President Hansen, who not only played an inventor in the show, but also introduced the show each night, and gave the opening prayer. On opening night, when he gave the prayer, I felt a sudden calm and peace come over me. I knew that everything would be okay. Even if I, or anyone in my beloved cast, didn’t perform everything perfectly, the audience would still love the show. Because of his prayer, and the prayers of others, we were successful each and every night of the show.

I hope nobody in Chitty every felt insignificant. I got to be on two sides of the acting spectrum, being a lead on two nights, and being ensemble, with a small speaking role, the other two nights. I may not have had as much to do on stage on my ensemble nights, but I sang my heart out on side stage, I was there for Bethany to help her change her clothes and make sure she had her props, I owned my little speaking part, and I reacted as much as possible when in the Vulgarian scenes. Were those little parts important? Of course! And every single person in the show who did anything, played an essential role.
1. You realize that the show isn’t about you.
Our director, Taunja Ingram, helped us always remember that we were doing this show for God and for the benefit of our community. Through our performance, we would be lifting others’ spirits, and helping them feel God’s love. Our performance was for God, and it was for His children. It wasn’t for our own fame or accolades, but it could nourish our souls as we nourished others. I think the show meant so much more to us because of that.

Before one of the shows we did, Taunja read this scripture, which touched us all:

But behold, I say unto you that ye must pray always, and not faint; that ye must not perform any thing unto the Lord save in the first place ye shall pray unto the Father in the name of Christ, that he will consecrate thy performance unto thee, that they performance may be for the welfare of thy soul (2 Nephi 32:9).’

It filled my heart with gladness when I saw the smiles on the faces of my family, friends, and people of the community after each show Their joy was evident and I am grateful that this cast and crew was able to bring laughter and love to each of them.
1. The music becomes a part of you forever.
This goes for the actors, crew, and the audience. My children have not stopped singing the songs since they first saw it. My son, Rigel, will sing “Me Ol’Bamboo” almost all day long.

Driving in the car to and from rehearsals and performances, Casey, Annika, Katie and I would have a blast singing the songs at the top of our lungs in our accents.

I always would light up hearing children in the cast sing “The Bombie Samba” or “Choochie Face.” They would have so much light in their eyes as they imitated these fun songs. (As a side note, the first time I heard “The Bombie Samba,” I thought it was really dumb. Now, I know it will never leave my mind and heart as long as I live).

As a cast, we would sing “Teamwork” before each performance, and then chant “Oh yes! Go Go!” It really did bring us together and pump us up for the show.
1. You get to put yourself in someone else’s shoes.
I played a few characters in the show. Pulling from that, and also from past shows I have done, I have to say that I feel most satisfied with my performances when I am no longer pretending to be a character, but when I have stepped directly in that character’s shoes and become her. When I am on stage, I am not Mandy, and the actors around me are not known by their names. No, we are our characters. It makes all the difference in delivery. If you believe, the audience will believe. This is not easy to do. It takes so much preparation.

This also includes learning their accents, and finding the intonation of voice that makes the most sense for them in different situations. I got to learn the Vulgarian accent, and also use the British accent on my off nights. Zometimes I find myself speaking in Vulgarian in mein head, and it delights me because it means I haven’t completely removed her shoes from my feet.

I always like to have heart to hearts with my characters and ask them their back stories, and why they feel the way they feel. Why are they compelled to do what they are going to do, or have done? Who do they love? Who do they hate? What do they fear? What do they love and loathe about themselves? What habits do they have and why?

You can do this as a lead character or an ensemble member, and it will change you as a person as you build this empathy.
1. You are the most honest version of yourself.
Some people equate actors with being good liars. I don’t think that is true at all. I think actors are the most honest people there are. They are vulnerable and fearless. They portray emotions that others hide inside. It could be true love, irrational fears, insanity, childishness, sexy confidence, uncertainty, tenderness, utter hatred, and so much more. Actors have to find a way to dig deep inside themselves to find a memory, or a thought that will help them show the audience exactly what their character is thinking, feeling, or doing. This is hard, and it takes complete honesty.
1. You can do things on stage people would think you were crazy for in real life.
I chuckle as I think about some of the stuff I did as the Baroness. I am pretty sure if my face were that animated, my voice that high pitched, my singing notes that off, my movements that exaggerated, my vanity so apparent, that people would never talk to me or come around me again. That is one thing I absolutely love about theater. You can be completely over the top and nobody will get freaked out. Your movements, diction, and facial expressions are supposed to be more deliberate and expressive. As you learn to do this, it can be intimidating at first, but oh, how it enlivens you.

Now, I won’t do everything on stage. For example, Christian and I played husband and wife, but we knew without talking about it we wouldn’t kiss onstage because we were both happily married. We were still able to give a believable husband/wife relationship without kissing, which was a fun challenge to conquer.
1. You gain a tremendous amount of confidence.
I realized this early on in my life. I used to be so shy, and really uncomfortable in my own skin. But, once I started taking acting classes, and being challenged to do things I had never done before, I transformed. I no longer have anxiety about singing, speaking, or acting in public. I can do it. I can do humorous, tender, flirty, angry or devastated improvisations any time now because I have taught myself how to, and am not afraid to be vulnerable.

If you work hard, and really own everything you do in theater, you will overcome shyness, and you will realize that you can do anything if you believe in yourself. I love not caring about what everyone thinks about me all the time. Theater helps with that. You just are you, and that is wonderful!

The confidence also comes because if you are given a task in a show, you do it. You may be a little scared, but you take on the challenge, and practice it until you get it right. For the longest time, I was so nervous about dancing “The Bombie Samba” choreography. There was one part I didn’t get right for the longest time. A week or two before dress rehearsal, I finally got it because I kept asking for help. I didn’t give up. I also never thought I could sing and dance at the same time, but by performance time, I could do it, and I did, because I didn’t give up. I practiced and practiced, and had faith that if I was given the task, it was because I could accomplish it.

My heart lit up after my final Baroness performance when Taunja excitedly told me that she thought my Samba was perfect that night. She said I owned it, and that it was mine. The one scene that always scared me I did perfectly? I thanked God for that blessing.

You may wonder how one can be humble and also confident in theater. It is possible, and I can assure you, if that gets hard, God will have a sense of humor and help keep you humble. The same night I felt I did super well, I actually had burning, watery eyes all night. I had a fake lash blunder, so all night my eyes were swollen, and my eyes leaking. It kept me humble, but also gave me an opportunity to stay in character and continue to be confident no matter what. I thank God for that opportunity.

Are 15 reasons enough to convince you to try musical theater someday? I know I could come up with more, but these are at the forefront of my heart and mind.

I will cherish my time with the cast and crew of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang for the rest of my life. I will never forget my love for the Baroness. She is a part of me now. I know her completely.

The people I worked with I will always admire and be grateful for. I am grateful for their talents, their advice, their encouragement, their smiles and laughter, their dedication, and their hearts. We were a good team. I am also so grateful for my family, who was a huge part of my team – especially my husband. With his support, I was able to consistently go to my rehearsals, that took up much of my time. And I am grateful for all who came to see the show – without an audience, the dream can’t be realized. Much love to you all!

Teamwork, can make a dream work, if we all pitch in and try.
Teamwork can make a dream work, and no mountain is too high!
If the same great dream is beating in each heart,
There’s no stopping what a fighting team can start.
For, all together, a team can weather, any storm they may go through.
Yes, teamwork, can make a dream work, can make the greatest dreams come true.
April 20, 2016
When I am an adult I can…
You know the phrase “From the mouths of babes?” Most of the time, people use that phrase when children say something profoundly true or spiritual.

Well, I think it can also apply when they say something that shouldn’t be true, but it is too often – when they say something that causes reflection, and possibly change in one’s life.

This happened to me a few weeks ago. Rigel and I were sitting at the table eating lunch. All of a sudden he clearly articulated,

“When I am an adult, I can watch bad movies with bad words!”

I was taken aback, and wondered who told him that or why he thought that. I knew I hadn’t told him that, and I told him that Daddy and I don’t watch movies like that.

He then said, “Yes you do. There are movies you don’t let me watch. They are bad movies with bad words.”

He was right that there are movies he doesn’t watch that we watch, but I explained to him that some movies he wouldn’t understand or enjoy due to his young age. Jad and I actually don’t keep any movie in the house we wouldn’t want our kids to watch, and when we watch movies we don’t own, we use VidAngel to cut out language, nudity, and other things we aren’t comfortable watching.

I don’t think that Rigel’s definitions of “bad words” and “bad movies” match mine, but it still got me thinking a lot.

Then, the following day, I spoke to a friend whose nephew had called his sister a bad name. When she corrected him and asked him not to do that, he showed his understanding, by saying when he grew up he would be able to use that word. Where did he get that from?

These two interactions left my heart aching. My husband and I try really hard to practice what we preach. We do have very high morals when it comes to entertainment and speech. We aren’t perfect, but want our kids to fill their lives with things that are virtuous, lovely, of good report, and praiseworthy (Articles of Faith 1:13, Phillippians 4:8).

My heart was hurting as I thought of other children in the world whose parents do use bad language consistently around them but tell them not to do the same, or who do watch movies with content that they hide from their kids (or worse – don’t).

Kids are like sponges. They will hear what words you use, they will hear how you speak about others, they will find a way to view those movies or books you are hiding from them – and then they will adopt that behavior themselves.

I truly believe that as parents, we have been given a God-given responsibility to be righteous examples to our children. We should study the words of Christ, and carefully determine what things we will allow in our homes. I believe home should be a holy place – a haven from the world. We must make it that way through our our words, our actions, and the tangible objects we allow in.

I hope I can help my children fill in the blank differently. Rather then, “When I am an adult, I can do bad things,” they will say, “When I am an adult, I can”:
1. Get a good college education.
2. Earn a job in my chosen career field, and try to change the world for the better.
3. Continue to share the gospel of Christ.
4. Marry my sweetheart and start a family.
5. Work hard to support my family physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
6. Love my children, my spouse and the Lord with all of my heart.
7. Be a good friend to all.
8. Use my talents and time to help others.
9. Learn new skills, such as gardening, fixing cars, or cooking new foods.
10. Continue to improve myself each and every day.
What do you want your kids to say?
March 29, 2016
More than just Terms of Endearment

Casey, Rigel, and Kamren, you mean more to me than I could ever express to you. You are the boys that Heavenly Father saw fit to send to me. You made me a mother, and I want you to know that I am your biggest fan, and that I see the divine worth and potential in each of you. When you were little, I gave each of you a term of endearment. I hope to show you there is more to these than just a name, and I pray that you will use the attributes of your special names to become good and righteous men:

Bumblebee

My first born, Casey, you are my Bumblebee. This name came from a yellow sleeper you wore when you were an infant. It was my favorite outfit of yours as it brought out your shining eyes and sweet smile. I knew it would characterize you perfectly.

I wish for you to be as your namesake – peaceful and unaggressive. Bumblebees do not harm others, unless they are defending themselves. I pray that you will be one who will defend righteous causes, but at the same time, desire peace and understanding with everyone around you.

I wish for you to focus on what matters most, and labor diligently to bring forth much good fruit.

You may not know, but one third all of all human food requires bee pollination. Without the bee, humans could not survive.

The crops bumblebees provide for humans, and the flowers they provide for other animals, bring them nourishment to live their lives to the fullest. I pray you will, through your good deeds and kind words, nourish the souls of those you meet and love.

Bumblebees have tiny wings, and shouldn’t be able to fly, but they do it anyway, and they do it so well. I admonish you to never allow anyone to tell you that you can’t do something. You can do anything. You are a child of the most High, and if you follow His counsel, and the counsel of your parents, you can fulfill all of your righteous and worthy desires.

I love you, my Bumblebee.

Shining Star

My second born, Rigel, you are my Shining Star. You are so named because yours is the name of the brightest star in the constellation Orion. A peace comes to my heart each time we look at your star in the night sky together.

I told you one night not long ago why you are my shining star. It is because of the light you bring to others through your good humor, your kindness, and your fun, friendly disposition. You are a friend to all.

The words of a song, “Every Star is Different,” I wish for you to emulate:

I can shine for others

And let them feel my love,

Follow the commandments

That come from God above.

I can help another

To learn to choose the right.

Having faith and courage

Will let my star shine bright.

Remember the most important and most brilliant star ever to shine was the Star of Bethlehem. This star represented the light of Christ. It was a sign of His birth, and led the wise men to Him.

You, through your words and deeds, can also lead others to Christ. I pray that you share the gospel every day of your life.

Never hide your light, my son. Always let it shine and do good works.

I love you, my Shining Star.

Angel

My third born, Kamren, you are my Angel. I call you this because I believe angels helped bring you to this earth.

Looking like an angel at 9 months old.

There are many accounts in the scriptures of angels. God has used them throughout time for many reasons – to show love, concern and mercy, to bring messages of great importance, to warn, or to provide guidance.

You may not be one of these angels, but as Jeffrey R. Holland, Apostle in the LDS church, said, “…not all angels are from the other side of the veil. Some of them we walk with and talk with … Indeed heaven never seems closer than when we see the love of God manifested in the kindness and devotion of people so good and so pure that angelic is the only word that comes to mind.”

My Kamren, I pray that you will be kind, good and pure your whole life. You are already so sweet, affectionate and giving.

Angels on earth also use their words, my son. Nephi, in the Book of Mormon, spoke of speaking with a new tongue – the tongue of angels, after being baptized and receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost. He said, “Angels speak by the power of the Holy Ghost; wherefore, they speak the words of Christ (2 Nephi 32:2-3).”

Kamren, how interesting it is that you do not speak many words now. However, the Spirit has testified to me, that someday, your voice will be strong and will ring with the Truth of Christ.

Jeffrey R. Holland said, “Our words, like our deeds, should be filled with faith and hope and charity…With such words, spoken under the influence of the Spirit, tears can be dried, hearts can be healed, lives can be elevated, hope can return, confidence can prevail.”

My Kamren, I know that you will bring hope, comfort, and peace to others as you exhibit these angelic qualities throughout your life.

I love you, my Angel.

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Casey, Rigel, and Kamren – even if I do not always call you by these terms of endearment, these names and these hopes for you are always in my heart. I love you all with my whole soul, always and forever!

January 29, 2016