Tag: hate

By Small and Simple Things

[bctt tweet=”These are the SMALLEST things. Nobody thinks they would ever matter.”] But in the right hands…in God’s hands…everything small becomes magnified. – JadaKaye

My friend’s words make me tear up every time I read them. Her words are true.

In her statement, Jada was specifically talking about the content of an inspirational documentary on BYUTV called “Turning Point.”

She said that the show mesmerized her: “The thing about it is the complete randomness of the things people do. Ordinary people take the simplest things and turn people’s lives around. It isn’t about preaching anything. It’s about helping them live.”

Her words reminded me of one of my favorite scriptures in the Book of Mormon. Alma the Younger, speaking to his son, Helaman, said:

“…behold I say unto you, that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass; (Alma 37:6).”

Alma wasn’t speaking to his son about doing acts of service, but the point is still true. When we observe a need, and then do something about it, we can make all the difference in the joy, personal fulfillment, self-esteem, behavior, success, or hope of another.

We may not have the capacity to do some of the things people in the show have done, such as start a soccer team for the homeless, build a foster home for kids who never got adopted, or teach a large number of teens a trade to help them do better in school or dissuade from committing crime, but we can do something.

Look at your skills, your talents, your interests. How can you with your unique capabilities help others? What needs do you see in your friends, family members, neighbors, church, or community?

We can all do something. It might be visiting the sick or elderly. It might be donating food or clothing to the poor. It might be teaching a skill to those who would not otherwise have the ability or money to learn it. It might be listening to someone who really needs support. It might be giving rides, or babysitting someone’s kids, or sending cards to friends, or smiling at one who is sad.

All of these things are simple. They don’t usually take a lot of time or effort. But, they might help someone feel loved, important, and needed. They might bring hope to those who have lost it. They might renew faith in those who are doubting. They might save relationships. They might dry tears.

There is a lot of hate, bitterness, and violence in this world. But, there is a lot more good. Let’s focus on the good. Let’s be the good. That is how we can feel the love of God surrounding us. That is how we can live with peace, hope, and faith.

What will you do to be the good in the world?

November 4, 2015
If she is the worst mother in America, so am I.

A few days ago, I heard about a movement called #iStandWithCherish. I didn’t really know what it was, and wasn’t super interested in finding out. Then, I kept seeing it everywhere, and read my friends’ passionate posts about it.

I then decided to find out what this was all about. I read a quick news article summarizing that a mother of four from Gilbert, Arizona, accidentally left her 2-month-old son in a shopping cart outside of a hair salon after checking out from a local grocery store. When I read that she left him alone for 40 minutes, I immediately found myself pressing judgment. How can a mother leave her child for that long? Why didn’t she notice? How did this even happen??

Then I decided to watch a video interview where Cherish Peterson told her story in detail. After I heard the whole story, and saw the clear hurt and regret she was experiencing, my heart changed. I felt compassion for her because it was clear that she loves her children, and that she just made a horrible mistake.

My mind immediately went to two times in my life as a mother where I made horrible mistakes that either did cause harm, or could have caused harm, to one of my children.

The first incident was in March 2012, when my second son, Rigel, was 14 months old. I had just given him a bath. I set him on the twin bed in his room, up against the wall. I then turned my back for mere seconds to get his clothes out. A few seconds was enough time for him to scoot backwards to the edge of the bed, and fall with his arm behind his back onto the hard floor. His wrist had been fractured, and he had to wear a cast for weeks.

Because of my error, my son couldn’t crawl correctly. Because of my error, we had huge doctor bills.

Thankfully, Rigel healed, and he never lost his cheerful disposition the whole time he was in the cast. I learned my lesson, though, and from then on I was much more careful, and didn’t put him on the bed unsupervised until he was old enough to walk and get on and off the bed on his own.

The second time I put one of my children in danger was three years later, with the same child, on March 17, 2015. It was so devastating, I haven’t felt comfortable sharing it with others, but now I feel it is time.

I had just taught that day’s church Institute class. I always had a lot of responsibilities after class, so occasionally, one or both of my little ones would end up in the hallway running around with other kids. One of the other moms told me that Rigel was walking around the church with her daughter.

I was planning to go get him, but my youngest, Kamren, decided he wanted to go outside to the parking lot to play with the other children outside. I followed him out, thinking that Rigel and the other little girl would come out the same door (the only door we use for class) in the next couple minutes.

The girl’s mother was still in the church, so I assumed she had found the kids and was playing with them, so as the minutes ticked by, I wasn’t worried at all. But when she poked her head outside and asked if I had seen the kids, I got a little concerned. She went back in to look for them in the gym.

Soon, a police car pulled into the parking lot, and my heart sank. I didn’t know why, but I assumed they were there because of Rigel and his friend. They were. The officer asked me if anyone was missing some kids.

I said that maybe I was. Then, he opened the door and there they were. I was grateful, concerned, and also confused as to how they got away from us.

Apparently, they were seen walking on the sidewalk of the very busy main road right by the church. This didn’t make sense, because there is no easy access to this road from the church parking lot. After mulling it over with other women, we figured out that that the kids must have opened a different door to exit the church, walked through the woods, and down the steep hill the church was on to get to this road. This was something I never would have expected to happen in a million years, and it was surreal.

For a few minutes, I was just totally involved in answering the officer’s questions and hoping I wouldn’t be charged with anything. When it finally hit me what had happened, and what could have happened, I broke down and wept.

My child could have been hit by a car. My child could have died, and it was my fault. It was my fault because I assumed he was okay. I assumed he was safe in the church. I assumed someone else was keeping an eye on him. Because of my assumptions, I may have never seen my child again.

My friends were so comforting and kind to me. They reassured me that I was a good mom, and that I couldn’t have known that would happen. I was so grateful for their sympathy, love and compassion. They helped me calm down enough to drive home. I sobbed the whole way there, and tried to talk to Rigel about the dangers of what he had done. He was so sweet and innocent, saying, “But Mommy, I stayed on the sidewalk.” I felt so incredibly grateful that he had remembered that rule. It could have saved his life.

One of my class members, Stephanie, sent me this sweet email later that day: I hope you are doing well after today’s scary accident. I meant what I said that you are a good mother. This was an accident that we can learn and grow from and I don’t think any less of you and Heavenly Father doesn’t either. Your love for your children is evident in the way you are with them and the things you teach us. Peace be with you my friend. I’m so glad sweet Rigel and <> are happy and safe.

I thanked God over and over for this miracle. I felt strongly that angels were with these two precious children that day to protect them from a devastating fate. My faith was renewed because of this experience.

I made this post on Facebook that day: I am feeling very thankful and aware of my Savior today, as well as how precious my children are, and what a great responsibility it is to be a mother. The Lord trusts me with these little angels. I must always be worthy of that trust.

This is Rigel the next day, safe, sound and happy.

I learned from this mistake too. I brought a baby gate to class from then on. I implemented a rule that no child could be outside the classroom without a parent. I continue to watch much more carefully over my children, even months later.

I felt like the worst mom in the world on both of these occasions – especially the latter. But, was I? Am I? I make mistakes. Cherish made a mistake. Thousands of mothers and fathers have made similar mistakes. We aren’t perfect. We do our best, but we falter. Then we learn and grow from these mistakes, and do so much better in the future.

In Cherish’s interview, she said that nobody loves her children more than she does. I feel exactly the same way about my children. If you had been one of the staff at the Orthopedic office who saw a hurt baby, or one of the drivers on Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd who saw two toddlers walking down the street alone, you might have judged me as a careless, stupid, irresponsible, unfit mother. But, you wouldn’t be right because you don’t know me. You don’t know that the thought of any of my children getting hurt causes me to sob uncontrollably. You don’t know that I dedicate my life to their well-being and happiness. You don’t know the joy they bring me, or that I would willingly give my life for them.

Similarly, judging Cherish Peterson for this mistake, which admittedly is horrible, and labeling her as an unfit mother, isn’t fair. If you have never made a mistake like this as a parent, you probably will. But, even if you don’t, please have compassion. Let God be the judge. Bashing someone’s name and dignity into the dirt on social media or in your heart is not helping anyone.

The focus in this situation should be gratitude that her sweet baby was unharmed and is safe. If he had been harmed, I would hope we would be praying for their family’s peace and comfort. Hate and unkind judgments will never make the world a better place, and they will never undo what has already been done.

Awareness of how to prevent these types of situations does help. Compassion and support do help. Prayers most definitely helps make the world a better place.

Please stand with Cherish, as I and thousands of others do now.

*The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender. There are enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind. There are enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined. -Margaret D. Nadauld*

You can support Cherish on Facebook here and here.

August 31, 2015
10 things I thought I would never do as a parent until I became one

This was published today on familyshare.com.

When I was a young adult, moving into the marriage and family mindset, I had some ideas of what I would and wouldn’t do or allow as a parent.

I always figured my kids would stay up late sometimes, and eat junk food on a regular basis. But, I never thought I would do or allow these things:

1. Let the kids eat food in the car, or while walking around the house.

To be fair, I still don’t prefer this, but sometimes, the only way to keep kids happy on long car trips is to let them eat. And keeping the kids sitting at the table sometimes takes more energy than I have left for the day.

2. Eat and drink after the kids.

If you have ever really just watched little kids eat, there is a lot of drool, double dipping, and backwash going on. It is kind of gross. For some reason, though, when it is your kid, it isn’t so gross. And, in my case, I hate wasting food. If my kids don’t want to finish something yummy, like ice cream, or cake, you better believe I am finishing it up.

3. Take the kids places when they are in disarray.

I used to judge the parents who took sticky and stained kids out in public. Now, I understand. Little kids don’t let you clean them up well. Plus, it takes like 30 minutes just to get them ready to get out of the house. Sometimes you just don’t have that kind of time. And shoes? Well, sometimes I assume my husband put them on, and sometimes he assumes I did, and well, sometimes neither of us did it. They’ll be fine.

4. Let them make huge messes.

I don’t do this often, but sometimes, I allow the kids to do messy, chaotic things because I know it will be a memory we will all laugh at later. I used to just stop them and get mad. Now, I see the joy in their faces, and the bonds they make with each other as they spray each other with the hose, throw rice in the air, or paint themselves instead of a picture.

5. Make contact with my kids’ snot and boogers.

Sometimes, your kids need a tissue and you just don’t have it. My fingers more than once have been used to swipe away snot, and to pick out big boogers.

I know, gross. Well, other times my little ones are really sad, and they want to snuggle and give me kisses when they have snot running down their faces. Do I push them away? I couldn’t do that, so I go ahead and kiss their snotty faces, and let them wipe the rest on my sleeve.

6. Roughhouse with them.

I always thought this would be their dad’s job. It is when Daddy’s home, but my three boys want to wrestle, ride on shoulders, and swing around just as much when Daddy isn’t home. My shoulders, arms, legs and back are much stronger than they would be without my boys.

7. Let them sleep with my husband and me.

The kids never start out in bed with us. Sometimes, though, they wake up in the middle of the night. The little ones always come to our room for comfort. We are usually way too tired to sing to them, talk to them, get them stuff, and then put them back to bed. So, we usually hoist them up and lay them in between us. Only when they start kicking us, rolling on top of us, or smacking us, do we put them back in their rooms.

8. Give in to their cuteness.

In our house, we have rules that we try to enforce. It is much easier to enforce these rules when the kids are school-aged. When they are little, though, they are still so adorable. I usually can see past it, but my husband is a sucker for their little eyes, smiles, and pouts. So, sometimes I give in because he does.

I am ashamed to say that sometimes, I even go so far as to laugh when I am reprimanding them, just because they are so adorable.

9. Be the disciplinarian.

This is another one I expected Daddy would do, since that was how it was in my house growing up. But, since I am like my dad, this is more my thing. As I mentioned above, I don’t give in as easily as my husband. I have always been a rule follower, so I expect my kids to do the same. I am not always proud of how I discipline, but I see this as a growing opportunity to help me control my temper, and be gentler.

10. Talk about uncomfortable things in great detail.

I have two little ones, but I also have an older child. I have talked to him about many serious issues in great detail, like sex, pornography, puberty, bullying, etc. I got the watered down version of most of this at school and church, probably because family and teachers hoped the less I knew, the less I would do. Though some of these things can be uncomfortable to talk about, I have realized that as I educate my child about these important issues before outside forces do, he is better prepared for what will come up outside of the home.

At the end of the day, are my kids healthy and happy? Are they educated, loved, and looked after? Yes! So, it is just fine with me that I am a different kind of parent than I thought I would be.

July 29, 2015
Someday we will understand

Note: This was my perspective at the time I wrote this post. It is ever-changing and is no longer completely accurate here.

I have a brother who is funny, kind, intelligent, musically gifted, a friend to all, and a very supportive and loving uncle and brother. He is someone I respect and love with all of my heart, and one with whom I share many happy, and hilarious, memories. He also happens to be openly gay.

When he asked me to watch a documentary last year called “For the Bible Tells Me So”, I gladly agreed to watch it. It was a documentary that greatly affected me. I sent my brother my most sincere thoughts and feelings from the film:

…As I watched and heard some of the views people have, I was astounded. I always knew there were prejudiced people out there, but I didn’t realize there were so many gay-bashing people, especially Christians.

As a devout Christian, I can say that I know that Christ would never condone this hatred and persecutions of gays. He loves all people equally and tells us to love all people, and to forgive all people, and to judge no one.

I am in total agreement with a lot of the points: you can’t change a person who is gay. Being gay is not a choice. Forcing a gay person to hide his orientation is detrimental. SSA is not a disorder or illness. I agree with all of that, and so does [The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints].

I agree that often the Bible is taken out of context, and I appreciated the interpretations of what some of the scripture passages in the Bible might have actually meant. I think the reason there are so many Christian churches is because people pick and choose what to believe from the Bible, and [also] study passages out of context.

I have so much sympathy for what gays go through. I have not even thought of this, but I imagine you have gone through persecution in your life. I hope not; I really do.

I wasn’t there when you came out to Mom and Dad, but I commend you for being honest and telling them everything… That must have made them sad because I think all parents hope their kids will get married and have kids of their own.

Mom and Dad never expected to have a gay child, but they did. I am totally aware there is a possibility one of my children could also be gay. If that is the case, I would want him to be honest with me, and I would still love my child with all my heart.

I got a lot out of the documentary. I found I related the most to the black family in Haw River, which is only like five minutes from Mebane, where they love their daughter, but don’t rejoice or encourage her lifestyle.

Now, as I say that, I have thought a lot of what it must be like to be gay. I am not, so I can’t have that empathy. However, if I were gay, I would imagine that I would want what most anybody wants: a romantic, long-lasting relationship. Suppressing that desire would be so difficult, and being confident, while being a widely misunderstood and feared minority, would be a definite struggle.

Aaron, my heart is with you, and I do not judge you or hate you or fear you or find you in any way disgusting. You are my brother and I love you with all my heart. Out of all my siblings, you are the one I bond with the most. I [also] have many gay friends, and have always been comfortable around them…

I will always believe, however, that marriage should be between one man and one woman. It is not because I hold on to those few Bible verses. It is not because I have a huge passion for the definition of marriage. It is because I have a strong testimony of God and of [modern day] prophets. I believe that God knows more than we do, and that sometimes He has commandments that don’t seem fair or make sense to us as humans. I believe someday we will understand.

Here is what I do understand: life on earth is short. Life after death will go on forever. This life is a time to prepare to meet God. If I am a true disciple of Christ, my focus should be not on how to bring happiness to others on earth only, but to bring happiness to people in this life, and especially in the life to come. God always meant for a man and woman to be together. Only through that union can children be brought into this world. True joy comes from this family unit.

You may ask, why then would He allow people to be gay? That is a question I have too. I think out of all struggles, that would be one of the hardest.

That is the extent of my understanding and my testimony. I don’t understand everything. I don’t hold the stance I do because I am bigoted or because I don’t want equality. I have the stance simply because that is what I believe God wants. That doesn’t mean I am totally comfortable with it. Being a Christian sometimes means taking leaps of faith, and walking in the dark until God reveals more light.

At the end of the documentary, one of the parents said that she wants to help the churches change. If Christ is the head of Christianity, only He can change His doctrines. Otherwise, the church would be a man’s church. I disagree with her opinion, but I do agree that Christians need to act like Christians and accept gay people into their congregations and into their hearts.

I hope this commentary gives you some kind of peace and clarity, if there was ever a thought in your mind that I didn’t love you as much because you are gay. I hope you never ever think that because it is not true…

I wrote this message to my brother nearly a year ago now. I meant every word I said, and I still believe it with all of my heart.

I know my brother, and many other people are ecstatic about the recent Supreme Court ruling, legalizing gay marriage in all 50 states. I understand why they are happy. When I first found out my brother was gay, 10 years ago, I was actually very adamant about supporting gay marriage because I wanted my brother to be able to be happy, and to have the union that I had with my spouse.

My feelings have changed since, but not because I love my brother less (in fact, I am closer to him now than I have been in a long time).

Rather, my feelings have changed because I have recognized that I have a duty, as a baptized member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, to stand as a witness of God at all times and in all things and in all places.

I have taken more seriously the first and great commandment, which is “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.” I know that to love my God with all my heart, I must keep all of his commandments, not just some of them. If I believe that God created the divine institution of marriage, than I must choose to follow Him by supporting His definition of marriage. I can still love one another as I obey this commandment.

I have tried to start living my life by considering good, better, and best options. To me, the best way is always God’s way.

The problem is, we differ in our definitions of God’s way, and many people do not even believe in God, or believe in a different god.

To quote from Fiddler on the Roof, “He’s right and he’s right? How can they both be right?” Tevye, whose previous comments provoked this puzzlement, answers and says, “You know, you are also right.”

No, it cannot be both ways. Either traditional marriage is right or gay marriage is right. They cannot both be right.

I must believe and do what I believe is right. I believe God is still speaking, and that He has upheld his charge that marriage should be between a man and a woman only. I have seen the blessings of leaving my parents and cleaving to my spouse. I know that there are divine roles for both men and women, which when combined in righteous unity, can lead to harmony in the home, and provide the most ideal setting for raising children.

As I do what I believe is right, I certainly do not want to be contentious, or contribute to any feelings of division in our land. Know that I believe everyone is a child of God, and are loved equally by Him. We all endure various trials over the course of our lifetimes. We will also be tempted, and oftentimes succumb to that temptation. We are always equal for these reasons, and we must treat each other as such.

To both sides, I plead to please stop the hate. Please stop the fighting and name-calling. We do not understand everything about each other, God, or even ourselves. Rather than divide ourselves because of our differences, let’s unite because of our similarities.

I recently asked Aaron if he was offended that I often eat at Chick-fil-A, a company that is very pro traditional marriage. His answer is a profound ending to this discussion, and something I hope we can all reflect on:

It doesn’t bother me at all, actually. I even have had it in the last couple of months. It did bother me at first; I didn’t want to support a business that didn’t align with my political and personal views. But then I thought, do I want to encourage destruction or growth? By encouraging myself and others not to go there, in protest, I was hoping in some roundabout way that their business would fold. If enough people stopped going, they would be FORCED to change or fold. On the other hand, by continuing to go there in love and peace, I am encouraging growth and acceptance in Chick-fil-A’s employees. I want to promote understanding, not violence. I can’t do that if I’m not present.

Update: My brother and I had a lovely conversation about my post. He even had a stranger message him and thank him for his example. In our conversation, Aaron said something profound, a message I had actually almost written myself. I suppose it needs to be shared:

If #lovewins is to really mean anything, we must treat all with love! Not just those with whom we agree on any given matter.

Amen, brother. Love you!

***********************************************************************************************

This post is part of a blog hop with these wonderful bloggers! We’re talking about our marriages, giving tips, and sharing what we’ve learned, but most importantly defending traditional marriage between a man and a woman.

Mandy @ A Bliss Complete |Hilary @ Pulling Curls |Emily @ Celestial Shine Magazine | Kerry @ My Random Sampler

Jocelyn @ We Talk of Christ | Jenifer @ Moss Moments | Montserrat @ Cranial Hiccups

Jennifer @ My Daylights | Camille @ Chicken Scratch ‘n’ Sniff | Angela @ Mormon Women Stand | Kathryn @ Well Behaved Mormon Woman

June 29, 2015
A Blissful Anniversary!

Today is a very special day. It is the one year anniversary of my first blog post. As I looked over my 47 posts from this past year, some were short, some were long, some were very long, and some were even longer than that.

Some tell many personal stories from my life. Some contain my fervent testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Some are funny, some are serious, but all have me in them.

Not every post had a lot of readers, but all of them came from my heart, and all are special to me.

I had liked the idea of starting a blog for a long time, but never had the real gumption to take that step. Then there was one day when I had all these ideas and messages flow into me that I knew I had to share. They were about the trials of parenthood, but how they really made you a better person.

I knew that I needed to start my blog then. I thought for a long time about a name. I prayed for guidance. The words to the LDS hymn “Love at Home” came to my mind. One phrase in the song is “making life a bliss complete when there’s love at home.”

That was it. That was my title, and that was my purpose. To describe my blog, I chose this phrase: My heartfelt thoughts and feelings about home, family, love, faith, and personal growth.

I have remained true to this description.

I realize that because my purpose is to help myself and others see that God is there, He loves us, and that He has given us this wonderful life on earth to learn, grow and become more like Him, I may not get the most readers. Though I know that we all can benefit from knowing that life really can be a bliss complete when we are kind, compassionate, forgiving and humble, not everyone wants to read about that.

I won’t lie to you, it hurts when I put my heart and soul into a post, and I get maybe a handful of likes, one share, and a couple comments. I want to uplift and help people, and hearing from my readers helps me know I am accomplishing that goal.

When my readers share my posts, I can reach more people. This may sound prideful, and maybe it is if I focus on what people think of me, or how I compare to others. However, I truly feel from the bottom of my heart that Heavenly Father wants me to be His witness and a witness of His Son, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost, through my writings. The Holy Ghost has put words into my mind and through my fingertips so many times.

I believe I was given my writing talent to share the gospel of Christ, to help others learn from my mistakes, and even to help preserve my family history.

No matter how discouraged I may get about not having much feedback on my posts, I have never felt that I should stop writing. I will write as long as I feel called to do so. Thank you to those of you who do express your appreciation for my words. It means the world to me. There is nothing kinder you could do for me than that.

In honor of my first year of blogging, I have come up with some superlatives. I hope you enjoy them, and take some time to read some of these posts if you haven’t already.

The Inspiration to Begin

Parenthood: Change for the harder but truly for the better

This posts contains the messages that inspired me to begin my blog. It was my second blog post because it took me so long to write and perfect.

The First

Sabbath Day Light: Forgiveness

There was a message at church that Sunday that helped me lift a heavy burden from my life. That was when I decided to start my Sunday series: Sabbath Day Light. These posts meant so much to me spiritually, but as a new blogger, I decided to stop doing them because of the lack of interest. My testimony remains, however, that attending church truly does nourish your soul and enlighten your mind.

The Most Popular

The Monster and the Miracle

This post has had the highest number of reads, and probably the most comments. I agonized over the title, and based on the number of reads, I think it was a winner. If you haven’t read it, this is a story about my husband and a parasite that had grown for 10 years in his body, threatening his life and claiming the vast majority of his liver.

The Least Popular

Sabbath Day Light: A Promise to Receive Answers

Why would I add this one, you ask? Well, because I still think it was a very uplifting post, and is very relevant to the first weekend in April, just a little over a week away. Check it out!

The Longest

To Cleave or Not to Cleave? There is No Question!

I have many long posts, but there are only a few in the very long category. This one is my longest, with 15 pages, 4575 words, 19,854 characters without spaces, and 24, 312 characters with spaces.

That post took me countless afternoons to write. I am really proud of it, though, and I really think that couples who study and contemplate these gospel-centered suggestions on how to cleave to each other, will find a benefit to their marriages. I know that because as I researched and wrote it, I found ways to strengthen my marriage.

The Most Researched

You Aren’t Weird but Your Beliefs Are Part 2: Why Are There So Many Churches?

I spent so many hours researching the beliefs, practices and doctrines of the different Christian churches. It was really interesting, and helped me illustrate why I believe there must be absolute Truth.

The Cutest

Meet Charlotte

There are a lot of pictures of a puppy with cute kids…need I say more?

The Most Fun

Sabbath Day Light: A Perfectly Imperfect Father’s Day

I had a lot of fun writing this one. Last Father’s Day was so different than what we are normally used to, but we made it special and fun anyway. We will never forget it.

The Most Tear-Inducing

Reminiscing about a Miracle

I actually wrote the birth story of my beloved Kamren before I started blogging, so on his first birthday, I posted that story on my blog. The story surrounding my youngest son’s birth is truly a miracle, and may make you cry – in a good way.

The Most Influential

Are Mormons Christians: A Question that can only be answered by a Mormon

I put this one as the most influential because I originally published this on a fellow neighbor’s blog. It sparked many questions about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints that I was able to answer. I have also found many opportunities to share this blog post with others of and not of my faith, and have received feedback that it helped their perspectives, or that they would like to share it with more people who they think could learn from it.

The Most Eye-Opening

Let’s do what we can

Doing a little service for the less fortunate opened my eyes to how fortunate I really am, and I need to stop complaining.

The Most Picturesque

My Favorite Love Story

This post, that I recently wrote to honor my husband’s and my 5th wedding anniversary, has a whopping 64 pictures. They are some good ones, too!

The Most Helpful for Kids

What I told my son when he asked me about bullying

This post was inspired from a conversation I had with my son about bullying. I know that the Spirit guided me to say what I said to him, and I wanted to share it so other parents could help their children too.

The Most Uncomfortably Personal

Don’t try to be hot. Try to be you.

I put a lot of personal things in this quote about modesty (in dress, speech and behavior), that apparently made at least one friend of mine and my husband uncomfortable. I put those things in to help other women see that they, and I, are better than I used to portray myself.

The Most Scriptural

100 Things the Book of Mormon Has Taught Me

I really did post 100 things I have learned from this wonderful book, which is another testament of Jesus Christ. Looking at the 100 messages, it is clear that it is a work of God, and a complement to the Bible.

The Most Political

Hate Won’t Make us Great

I wrote this post right after election day last year, when I saw an alarming lack of civility. I tried to bring the point home that our country needs more love, tolerance, and support for its leaders and its citizens.

The Most Crucial

Pornography: I say it. I talk about it. You should too.

There is a very sad story in this blog post, one that illustrates the poison that pornography is to individuals, spouses, and families. But there is hope, should one take hold of it!

The One That Means the Most to Me

You Aren’t Weird but Your Beliefs Are Part 3: How I Know Joseph Smith Was a Prophet

It is hard to pick a favorite out of 47 posts, but I knew without looking it would be one of my four posts from this series. The series in total I felt very strongly I needed to write. This one means the most to me because my most heartfelt testimony flows through it. The Spirit touched my heart so much as I wrote, that tears streamed down my face. There is nothing more valuable to me than my testimony of Jesus Christ and His gospel.

The Last

Lose. Seek. Find.

I knew I wanted to write one more post before my 1-year anniversary of this blog. I had started one, knowing it had great stuff in it, but my fingers couldn’t bring it together like I wanted. I prayed for guidance for what to write, and this new post flowed through me without any hesitation. It hasn’t had many reads, but please read it. I know it is supposed to help someone.

There are so many more posts that I love because they are about my family or spiritual lessons I have learned in my life.

I am grateful for my Heavenly Father for giving me a gift with writing. I hope I can always be worthy of that gift.

March 24, 2015
Hate won’t make us Great

Civility: polite, reasonable, and respectful behavior

Most people see the value in civility. They try to be that way; they hope others do the same; they teach their children to be civil so they will be more successful in life.

Yesterday was election day in the United States. I am sure many of you have read articles (or comments on those articles), or seen friends’ social media posts regarding the election.

As I read these things, I wonder where civility has gone?

Many people have been silent on the issue, or have simply expressed their gladness or sorrow over the results.

What I have seen much more of, though, is gloating, name-calling, complaining, eye-rolling, bashing, blaming, cursing, and judging.

Judge not, that ye be not judged (Matthew 7:1).

Do we even know we are doing this? Do we realize when we do this we are alienating many of our friends, family and associates?

Here are some of the statements I have inferred from my reading:

1. My party is the supreme party and the only one that can do good for this country.
2. America is doomed and the world is coming to an end because someone got into office.
3. The candidate that won is going to take away our freedoms and all our money.
4. The Lord sanctions one political party, and frowns upon the other.
5. Everyone who believes differently or is in a different party than me is inferior and unintelligent.

My friends, please remember that all members and leaders of political parties are imperfect people. There is no supreme party, and everyone’s moral codes are to be respected. God does not choose our leaders for us, but wants us to choose with careful consideration.

…every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation; and every city or house divided against itself shall not stand (Matthew 12:25).

In order for our great country to succeed and continue to bloom, we must sustain, be respectful of, and be grateful for, our leaders. They need our support, whether we agree with everything they stand for and do, or not.

We can’t afford to turn against each other. Anger and hate will never bring positive results, but love and tolerance can. Americans need to stand together. By doing this, our great country stays great.

We are the land of the free, and the home of the brave. There may be times when there are laws passed that we don’t agree with. There may be policies put in place that don’t make sense to us.

When that happens, we must remember and fall to our knees in gratitude that The United States of America is a choice land of diversity, freedom, and opportunity. Our government exists to serve us. We control our destinies. We can do anything we desire, and can rise up from our circumstances. We have wonderful schools, technology, and medicine. We have clean water, good food, easy access to supplies and shelter, and an advanced road system to travel on. We have a strong and brave military, always ready to defend our liberties. We have beautiful and lush landscaping, and a rich history from which we can learn and draw inspiration.

Americans are special people – each of us, not just those of a certain political party. Every American can contribute and make a difference.

Please try to keep the golden rule in mind when discussing politics, or anything you are passionate about. It is good to take a stand. It is good to have morals and beliefs. Please just try not to judge others who are different, and instead think of how you would feel if someone bashed you, called you names, or spoke disrespectfully of you or one you revere.

Therefore, all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them; for this is the law and the prophets (Matthew 7:12).

I thank God every day that I live in this wonderful country. No matter who is in office, I will always pray for them, be grateful for my citizenship, and love my fellow Americans.

God bless the USA!

November 5, 2014
Mommies, what matters?

A friend of mine asked on Facebook yesterday, “Mommies, what matters?”

She said that one of her friends was told she was a bad mother because her kids wear hand-me-down clothes.
Everyone who responded to this post completely disagreed with the thought. I am not surprised we all disagreed, but then I thought about it some more.

First off, I am not planning on judging the person who made this comment. If you think about it, the world in which we live is obsessed with money and having the newest, best stuff. Often our feelings of self-worth are impacted by how we look, what we have, and how much money we make.

Kids, especially teenagers, are really bombarded with this false reality. They get teased for how they are dressed, or for really anything about them that isn’t defined by their peers as cool. Perhaps that is why this person told this mother she was a bad mother. Who knows?

Teasing is always going to be an issue. It will be hard to stop it. However, I know that we can raise our children in a way that teasing and bullying will not bother them. They will know who they are, how special they are, whose opinions really matter, and what things make a difference in their lives.

How do we do this? Well, there are many experts who have their own opinions. I personally use the expertise of the one who created us. I use the scriptures, the word of God.

How should I react when someone treats me badly?

Matthew 5:44 – But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.

Luke 6:35 – But love ye your enemies, and do good, and lend, hoping for nothing again; and your reward shall be great, and ye shall be the children of the Highest: for he is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil.

This is something all of us can do, whether we are a child getting teased, a mother being insulted, etc. Praying for someone who has hurt us can bring a lot of peace, for instead of hatred or bitterness or fear, we can feel compassion and mercy. We can feel the love that God has for that person, regardless of behavior.
They think they are better than me because I don’t have what they have. Is that true?

Matthew 5:45 –  …for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.

Acts 10:34 – Then Peter opened his mouth, and said, Of a truth I perceive that God is no respecter of persons.

Proverbs 22:2 – The rich and poor meet together: the Lord is the maker of them all.

Regardless of earthly wealth and prestige, each of us is a child of God. He created all of us. God loves everybody unconditionally with a love we cannot even fathom, whether we follow Him or not.

Is having the best stuff and looking the best really what makes people happy? Is it what we should want? Does it define who we are?

1 Samuel 16:7 – But the Lord said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart.

Proverbs 22:1 -A good name is rather to be chosen than great riches, and loving favour rather than silver and gold.

Matthew 6:19-21 –  Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal: For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

1Timothy 6:10 –  For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.

Doctrine and Covenants 18:10 –  Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God.

The Lord counsels against the love of money, favor, and physical appearance. What matters is the richness of one’s soul and heart.

If having lots of money and things aren’t important, what is?

1Timothy 6:11 – But thou, O man of God, flee these things; and follow after righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, meekness.

Matthew 6:33 –  But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

John 14:6 – Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.

Just as Jesus said in Matthew 6, lay up treasures in Heaven. This life is short. We can’t take our money, nice clothes, and fancy electronics with us. Our character, our faith, our love, our knowledge, we can take with us. As we try to be like Jesus and follow His perfect example, we will be blessed. What really matters is outlined beautifully in the beatitudes (Matthew 5:3-12). Any blessing the Lord gives to us is infinitely more valuable than anything we can acquire on earth.

Based on all this, “Mommies, what matters?”

Mosiah 4:14-15 – And ye will not suffer your children that they go hungry, or naked; neither will ye suffer that they transgress the laws of God, and fight and quarrel one with another, and serve the devil, who is the master of sin, or who is the evil spirit which hath been spoken of by our fathers, he being an enemy to all righteousness. But ye will teach them to walk in the ways of truth and soberness; ye will teach them to love one another, and to serve one another.
3 John 1:4 – I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth

Isaiah 54:13 –  And all thy children shall be taught of the Lord; and great shall be the peace of thy children.

Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live…Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities (The Family: A Proclamation to the World).

My final thought is that only God needs judge if we are good mothers or not. It is not our place to worry about others’ choices. We need only worry about ourselves and what we teach our children by word and example.

Mommies, you are doing better than you think you are. God loves you. He is on your side. He is with you. He trusts you with His precious children. May we all follow the word of the Lord as we teach our children in the way they should go.

May 1, 2014