Tag: testimony

Granddad’s Organ Miracle

I was going through old papers on my desk today, and I was so happy to come across the story my Granddad told about the Washington, DC Temple Dedication in 1974.

I read it, and tears came to my eyes. I felt that I needed to share it with each of you to show that miracles are real.

The paper he wrote is entitled “Washington DC Temple Dedication Music,” and the top right of the paper has a drawing of the Washington DC Temple.

He began with a synopsis of the situation and then wrote his experience in his own words. Here is the entire paper from beginning to end, as written by my beloved granddad, Clifford D. Jordan:

The dedication of the Washington, D.C. temple was held in November of 1974 in the Solemn Assembly Room on the seventh floor of the temple. This room accommodates approximately 1300 people, with overflow facilities to handle a total of 4200. All sessions of the dedication were filled to capacity.

The Richmond Virginia Stake Music Committee was given the honor of furnishing the music for the second dedicatory session. Frances James and Clifford D. Jordan were called to select and train an eighty-voice choir from throughout the states of Virginia and West Virginia.

Individual auditions were required. The allocation for the Richmond Virginia Stake was twenty voices–five in each part.

The musical selections during the service were:

“I Know That My Redeemer Lives” (choir)

“An Angel From On High” (choir)

“Bless This House” with special words (solo by Betty Butterworth)

“Hosannah Anthem” (choir and congregation)

In early August 1974, I received official notification of my calling as organist for the Second Dedicatory Service of the Washington Temple on November 19, 1974 at 1:00 P.M. Detailed instructions were included relative to my responsibilities which included forty-five minutes of prelude/postlude music, and service music. The model number and specification of the Allen organ to be used were included. It was recommended that I try to find one of these organs in the Richmond area and familiarize myself with the instrument. Advanced preparation and practice was a must, as I would only have thirty minutes of use of the organ prior to the dedication. This included rehearsing with the soloist, Betty Butterworth.

I immediately began my search for this organ, and found the exact organ in Corley’s Music Store on Cary Street in Richmond. After explaining my needs to the store manager, I was delighted to learn that the instrument would be available at any time during normal business hours.

During the next three months I practiced almost every Saturday morning. The main purpose of this practice was to learn and memorize the geography of the console (location of stops, couplers, pre-set pistons, and tone characteristics for solo and blending purposes). This is the major concern of all organists, as no two consoles are alike and stop tones vary from instrument to instrument. A well-trained organist with strong manual and pedal technique cannot play effectively until he is totally familiar with the organ. This particular organ model had two manuals with approximately sixty stops, and was quite versatile.

On the evening of November 18, my wife (Lois), the soloist (Betty Butterworth), and I entered the Solemn Assembly Room at the appointed time for our allotted thirty minutes of practice on the organ. I felt thoroughly prepared, and looked forward to one of the most spiritual and exciting occasions in my life. I quickly discovered that the organ was not the same instrument on which I had practiced so many hours. In fact, it was twice the size–with three manuals and at least 150 stops, couplers, and pre-set pistons. The potentials of this magnificent instrument were limitless, and for fifteen minutes I studied, tested, took notes, and did everything possible to learn what I could in a short time. The last fifteen minutes were spend with the soloist.

Due to the many organists following me, it was not feasible to utilize pre-set pistons. There would be no time to do this prior to the service. Therefore, I had to rely solely on manual manipulation of the stops for desired sounds. This meant knowing where to find them instantly as I played. I knew this would be impossible of myself as the console was far more than I could absorb in a few minutes.

I returned to the hotel extremely troubled, knowing that I needed help and a lot of it. I got on my knees and fervently prayed to Heavenly Father that He would bless and help me as I played the next day, that I might be able to play at my optimum level and know where to find all the needed stops for the glory of His Holy Name. The same prayer was repeated during the night and the next morning.

I went to the organ the next day very nervous and insecure. After I sat down at this huge and complex console, I repeated my same prayer. I looked up at the console, and a miracle happened! The console was no longer complex to me. I knew exactly where every stop was located and the anticipated tonal quality of each. I performed far beyond my natural mental and technical ability, because I performed under the guidance of the Spirit of the Lord.

At the conclusion of the dedicatory service, the eighty-voice choir and congregation of 1500 plus joined together in singing the “Hosannah Anthem” (The Spirit of God). During the singing of this hymn, I heard a multitude of singing voices encircling me–which was not coming from the congregation! Tears were flowing down my face so rapidly that I could not see the music. I knew I was surrounded by a heavenly choir!

This is my testimony of prayer, faith, and truth.

-Clifford D. Jordan

***************************************************

Once I posted this blog post, I got comments from people who were there:

From my beloved Nana, and Granddad’s wife, Lois Jordan:

Cliff was on his knees off and on the whole night before.
He played so beautifully at our session of the dedication. There were several of us in the choir that heard those “extra” voices.
The man recording the music for all the sessions contacted Cliff to apologize for the poor recording of the music for our session. All the others came out perfectly except that second session on the first day. He said he felt it was not meant to be heard outside the Temple for it was the best of all the music presented and he had recorded all sessions each day. These are my most vivid memories.

From my lovely mother, and Granddad’s daughter, Laura Thacker: I never tire of this beautiful story. I attended that solemn assembly as a young girl. No one would have ever known Dad hadn’t been playing that kind of organ for years. The music was perfect.♥️

From a family friend, Debbie Spivey: Your Grandfather was so amazing and talented! I was at that dedication and I remember your mom and dad sharing this experience. There was no doubt that the music was so glorious that day!

May 18, 2020
A New Hat I Feel Called to Wear

In The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, every six months, we have a conference led by the leaders of our church. The messages are meant to inspire us to learn and be better followers of Jesus Christ.

All of the messages in this April’s conference were meaningful and wonderful. I felt the Spirit so many times, but there were two particular points that stood out to me more than anything.

The first was a quote by Joy Jones, that said: “Women wear many hats, but it is impossible, and unnecessary, to wear them all at once. The Spirit helps us determine which work to focus on today.”

I felt like she was talking to me. I am always juggling many hats, trying to unsuccessfully wear all of them, or trying to figure out which are more important. It was comforting to hear that it’s not necessary to wear them all, and that the Spirit would help me know which to focus on.

Hold that thought.

The second quote, or really full talk, that really spoke to me was from Elder D. Todd Christofferson. He spoke about how to share the good news of the restoration of the gospel with the world. He said we need to share love, a good example, and the Book of Mormon. He said two particular sentences that really hit me: ” The Book of Mormon is the possession of mankind.” and “When you share the Book of Mormon, you share the Restoration. “

I had gotten a nudge from Heavenly Father a little while back to start blogging again, and I had begun doing so about once a week. Then I started running out of inspirational ideas, but the thought kept coming to me that I needed to share the Book of Mormon with people through my blog.

After Elder Christofferson’s talk, and so many other talks referencing this book I hold most dear, I knew what I needed to do. I needed to start highlighting verses from the Book of Mormon on my blog page, along with an explanation and my testimony. The Spirit was telling me to put on this hat, just as Sister Jones suggested.

I fully understand that to be a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, you must receive a spiritual witness through study, reflection, and earnest prayer that Joseph Smith was a prophet, that God still speaks through a living prophet today, that the priesthood has been restored, and that the Book of Mormon is true.

These are not things to be taken lightly, and they are also not things that people will blindly believe. I am aware that many people think Joseph Smith wrote the Book of Mormon, or that it is a work of the adversary. I can understand why people might think that who know nothing about it, or who have been misinformed. But, I can tell you with so much conviction, that even if it were a work of fiction, its words will bring you closer to Jesus Christ. Any book that does that is worth reading. And then after reading, it’s worth figuring out if it’s more than fiction – if it’s the true word of God.

Is the Book of Mormon a book of scripture? I believe wholeheartedly it is. But I had to read it, study it, and pray about it. I know that not everyone is ready to do that. That is why I feel the call to highlight passages one small chunk at a time. There are thousands of passages I could highlight that would help people learn more about Christ and about His gospel. I have started doing this and intend to keep doing it as long as the Spirit tells me I need to wear that hat. It has already been such a special experience for me.

I hope that anyone reading this post who has never read The Book of Mormon, but who is a Christian, or even just curious, will try to have an open mind. If you know me, you know I am a genuine and giving person. I would never do anything knowingly to anyone that would hurt them or lead them away from God. I live my life trying to bring myself and those I love closer to Him and His Son, Jesus Christ. I hope, knowing what you know about me, that you would give this wonderful book a chance. It’s a true companion to the Bible, for it provides evidence that Jesus really did live, die, and was resurrected. It proclaims that He is the Savior of the world!

If you would like to follow my blog page to see the Book of Mormon posts I am doing, you can follow me here: https://www.facebook.com/makinglifeablisscomplete/

I would love you to comment or share. If you ever have questions, please ask! I am here! Much love from a sister in Christ!

April 15, 2020
This Is The Desire Of My Heart

This is the desire of our hearts. (Mosiah 18:11)

This little line has brought an abundance of the Spirit and tears to my eyes this afternoon.

I was reading about the Prophet Abinadi and the beautiful truths he taught about Jesus Christ to wicked King Noah and his priests. Alma, one of the priests, believed Abinadi’s words, and after Abinadi was put to death for refusing to deny that Christ would come to the earth and redeem his people, Alma preached to the people privately, bringing many to the knowledge of the Messiah.

One day, he gathers with 204 other souls at the waters of Mormon to baptize them, having authority to do so. This is what he said:

And it came to pass that he said unto them: Behold, here are the waters of Mormon (for thus were they called) and now, as ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light;

Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn ; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the…

Now I say unto you, if this be the desire of your hearts, what have you against being baptized in the name of the Lord, as a witness before him that ye have entered into a covenant with him, that ye will serve him and keep his commandments, that he may pour out his Spirit more abundantly upon you?

That is when the people clapped their hands with joy, and said This is the desire of our hearts.

I thought of the covenants I made at baptism as I read Alma’s admonitions to them. I made the same covenants these 204 people made at the waters of Mormon in around 147 BC!

I want it to always be a desire of my heart to be in the fold of God, to be His child, to bear burdens, mourn and comfort, and to stand as a witness of God at all times and in all things and in all places.

Friends, I am so very grateful that I have been reading The Book of Mormon as part of our prophet’s, Russell M. Nelson’s challenge to the women of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I began this challenge October 7, and I feel so blessed and nourished to already be on page 183 in my reading. I have never read The Book of Mormon this fast, and I will be done just after Christmas.

I have never felt more strongly about my testimony of the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon until taking this challenge. I have always known it to be true, but, reading so much of it at once, I have been able to really get the meat of the messages and truly learn from them. Every time I read an account, I think that it can’t get much better than this, but then another account is just as precious.

Anyone who is a critic of The Book of Mormon has never read it with the right mindset or a softened heart. How can you read a book that is filled to the brim with scripture verses about faith, repentance, good works, commandments, obedience, forgiveness, sacrifice, good verses evil, and covenants that all surround teachings about Jesus Christ – his birth, miracles, teachings, death, resurrection, second coming, the judgement, and eternal life with Him- and not be touched to the very core? How can you say it isn’t the word of God?

The prophets of The Book of Mormon loved the words of Isaiah, and quoted him often because of his prophesies of Jesus Christ.

There is so much about the Jews and their scattering, and then gathering. There are prophesies about the promised land (the Americas), and how God orchestrated so many things in our history just so that His gospel could be restored and so that the Jews could someday come to a knowledge of their Redeemer.

The Book of Mormon was written to be a partner with the Bible in bringing the world to a knowledge that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, and that only through Him can we be saved. It does not replace the Bible. It is a perfect complement to the Bible.

I have so many verses underlined and starred from my reading so far, and I wish I could put all of them to memory or put them in frames on my walls. The Book of Mormon is a treasure to me, and I know if I live by the words of the prophets, most importantly the Savior Himself, who visited the people of Ancient America after his resurrection, that I will be able to withstand Satan’s temptations, stand spiritually strong in an increasingly wicked world, and share light with others.

Jesus visiting the Americas

The desire of my heart right now is to help others feel the joy I feel as I read The Book of Mormon. You can read it online, download the Gospel Library app and listen to it, or get a free copy.

There is a promise from the Prophet Moroni at the end of the Book of Mormon (Moroni 10:3-6):

3 Behold, I would exhort you that when ye shall read these things, if it be wisdom in God that ye should read them, that ye would remember how merciful the Lord hath been unto the children of men, from the creation of Adam even down until the time that ye shall receive these things, and ponder it in your hearts.

4 And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truthof it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.

5 And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things.

6 And whatsoever thing is good is just and true; wherefore, nothing that is good denieth the Christ, but acknowledgeth that he is.

The Book of Mormon is full of stories about how God is merciful, and it does nothing but acknowledge the Christ and that He lives. I promise you, as Moroni did, that if you prayerfully read The Book of Mormon with an open heart, that you will feel the Holy Ghost testify to you that it is true. You will know even more than you already do that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of the living God, and that He lived, died, and rose again for you and me. We can be saved through Him. That is the key message of The Book of Mormon.

Please read it. I know you will love it as I do.

This is my favorite prophetic message about The Book of Mormon. Watch it, and feel the Spirit. You will want to read this powerful, true word of God.

November 2, 2018
Must They Grow Up?

As the thunder roared and shook our house Sunday night, my husband went to check on our little Eve, who is two months shy of turning two years old.

She was, as he suspected, frightened by the storm. He lovingly brought her to our bed, snuggled with her for a bit, and then left her to fall asleep peacefully.

This is actually a photo of her sleeping in our bed a few nights before. She was sleeping in nearly the same position Sunday night too.

As we went upstairs later to get ready for bed ourselves, I asked soon Jad if he wanted to put her back in her bed. He was sitting next to her on the bed just staring at her, and said that he just wanted to enjoy her for a while longer because these moments wouldn’t last forever.

I don’t know why, but his comments hit me like a ton of bricks. I got emotional to the point that I started weeping.

Eve is my fourth, and most likely last, child. She is my only daughter, and the love I have for her is indescribable.

All of my babies have been like therapy for me – their softness, their innocence, their playfulness, their hilarious idiosyncrasies – everything about them brings me to life.

I guess it hit me in that moment that all the things I love about having babies would someday be going away, never to be replaced by the appearance of another little one.

I cried and cried for a while. I couldn’t explain it, but I did ask Jad, “What if when she grows up, she doesn’t remember? What if she doesn’t love me the way she does now? What if we don’t have the bond we do now? What if she never realizes all that I have done for her and how much I love her?”

At that moment, I caught a glimpse of what parents of adult children may go through sometimes, and I appreciated my parents even more. They loved me so much that they raised me from infancy to adulthood. There is very little love that comes close to the love of parents for their children.

Another thought came to me the next day – that even though I cherish each moment with my squishy, perfect, baby girl, if she stayed young forever I would miss out on so much. I would never get to have a heart-to-heart conversation with her, or comfort her when she had a bad day, or give her advice about a hard situation. I would never be able to teach her how to read, how to cook, or how to flirt with boys. I would never be able to help her make and grow her testimony of Jesus Christ. I would never be able to see her marry her sweetheart or have a baby of her own. I would never be able to truly have a best friend in her, which is what I want more than anything.

I took these photos of her Monday morning as all my thoughts were still fresh in my mind. She looked so beautiful to me in those moments.

I am still struggling with the idea of her growing up. She brings a joy to our family I could never describe. She is absolutely perfect for me, and for our family, from her hair, to her smile, to her love of cleaning,to her interesting food choices, to her sassiness. We can’t imagine life without her.

A part of me really wishes she could stay little forever, and then another part of me is excited for the future. As I sit here typing with a stray tear rolling down my cheek, I am mostly sad about the idea, but I know that it will be okay. God will fulfill that part of me in other ways, and I will be able to help raise my beloved daughter into the young woman she has the potential to become.

My dearest Eve, if you ever read this, just know that you are one of my greatest gifts and joys. I look forward to our years together.

August 14, 2018
The meeting every family should have

**Looks like I started this 7 years ago on January 9, 2017 and never finished it. Pushed publish by accident, and here we are! Sorry for any confusion haha!

Our area of North Carolina got several inches of snow and ice this past Friday. Even three days later, it is still here preventing most from safely traveling outside their homes.

You would think that being snowed in would get boring and annoying, and for many it probably does get that way. For us, it has been an opportunity to spend more time as a family, have fun in weather we don’t get often, hang out with neighbors, and most importantly, talk, learn and teach together.

Our family attends church every Sunday, unless we are sick, have a baby, or are snowed in. Our meetings were canceled Sunday due to the hazardous road conditions. Keeping the Sabbath Day holy is important to us, so we wanted to do something that resembled a Sacrament Meeting.

That particular Sunday would have been a Fast and Testimony meeting. We didn’t fast, but did decide to bear our testimonies to each other.

We began with a song and prayer, and then Jad began by sharing his testimony. All of us shared, except for Eve and Kamren (he wasn’t too interested – maybe next time). It was a very sweet experience to hear what we truly believe in our hearts to be true about the gospel, Jesus Christ, eternal families, the scriptures, prayer and more. I really felt the Spirit when we all spoke. It was extra special because it was the first time Rigel had ever shared his beliefs. We may think our children don’t listen to us, or hear what is being taught at church, but they do. That was clear when Rigel talked about how he knew the church was true and that the scriptures were true. He shared his love for his family too, which in our church, is so essential to joy in this life and in the next.

January 9, 2017
I Love Primary Children
There are a lot of things that set my church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, apart from other churches. One big one is that our church congregations are run by its members. We do not hire our spiritual leaders, teachers, choristers, custodians, pianists, etc. The members are asked to, or called, to do these responsibilities for a time. These callings are given through inspiration, and as members, we are given the opportunity to accept those calls.

In December 2014, I was called to be the Primary Secretary in my ward (congregation). Primary is the organization for children in my church. We have a Nursery program for ages 18 months to 3, and then the official Primary program for ages 3-11.

When I first was extended the call, I admit I wasn’t excited. I had done this calling before in another ward, and it was mostly paperwork and organizational stuff. But, I accepted the calling out of obedience, and a willingness to serve in whatever way I could.

Fast forward to September 18, 2016, the day I, and the rest of the Primary presidency of my ward, got released from our duties. It was the day of our yearly Primary Program, where the children ages 3-11 get up in front of our congregation to sing songs they have learned all year, and present speaking parts about spiritual topics also learned that year. The day of the Primary Program is one of my favorite Sundays each year, and this past one was extra special because it would be my last one in the presidency.

I was so proud of the children, and my love for them spilled out through my tears. I couldn’t hold back the emotion that day as I was released. I sat quietly during my last Sunday in the Primary room with them, sad I would be leaving them, and that I wouldn’t be able to teach them anymore.

In the past year and nine months, I have learned so much from these wonderful Primary children, and from serving as Primary Secretary. It is a calling I am so grateful I had because, not only was I able to assist in keeping our Primary dealings organized, I was able to collaborate with the other sisters in my presidency on many issues, like activities, callings, and needs of children. I was also able to teach the children periodically (my favorite part), sing the songs with them, and just get to know and love each child.

Here are some of the things I admire about the Mebane Ward Primary children:
1. They are helpful. When something falls, or there are chairs to be put away, there are kids always willing to lend a hand.
2. They love to participate. Some of the kids would come to me asking, sometimes practically begging, to say a prayer, recite a scripture, or give a talk. Others would get upset if not asked to participate enough as sticks were pulled out of the bucket to choose helpers.
3. They like to tell stories about their lives – and usually those stories correlate with the lesson. I loved hearing about the kids’ missionary, service, or family experiences. They often brought tears to my eyes.
4. They are loving and compassionate. One little boy always wanted to give me a hug each week. I always looked forward to those hugs and his sweet voice. I can think of a couple times, too, where I got emotional in Primary after teaching a lesson and bearing my testimony. There would inevitably be kids who wanted to make sure I was okay, and I loved them even more than I already had before.
5. They work well in competitive scenarios. Once, I was substituting as chorister, and the kids were singing very quietly. I told them that I could hear myself over all of them. I admitted I sing loud, but with that big group, they should have been able to at least sing as loud as me. And you know what? They rose to the challenge and sang their little hearts out. After that time, I often reminded them they could sing as loud as Sister Al-Bjaly.
6. They have a hard time sitting still and staying quiet sometimes. Why did I admire this? Well, in the moment, maybe I didn’t. But, it helped me gain some understanding and patience as I realized that these are good kids – it is just really hard to stay reverent for three hours at church. It brought perspective as I thought about adults who can’t sit still or stay quiet that long either. For all we expect of them, they really do a fine job.
7. They try even when they are afraid. My heart melted over and over seeing the little ones get up, sometimes for the first time, to the podium to deliver their talks, prayers or scriptures. Sometimes, they wouldn’t say a word, but would lean on their parents for support. Even when their parents would say their part for them, I was so proud of them just for getting up there. I know adults who won’t give talks or prayers in church, but these little ones will at least get up and try.
8. They find joy in singing. Well, maybe not all of them, but most of those kids really open up through song. They haven’t gotten to an age yet where their singing voices embarrass them, and they think they aren’t good enough to sing. No, regardless of singing talent or even knowing the words, most of the kids sing, sing, sing. And I love it!
9. They have good parents who teach them the gospel of Christ. This was incredibly apparent to me, especially as I taught lessons. I was amazed at how knowledgeable the kids were about the scriptures and their heroes, how many answers they knew without thinking, and how many spiritual experiences they recognized in their lives and in the lives of their families.
10. They feel and recognize the Holy Ghost. Even though there were definitely some days where the kids were loud and seemingly out of control, sometimes they would hush. They would become contemplative. They would get serene looks on their faces. I recall more than once at the end of a lesson (sharing time) or singing time, the kids would be uncharacteristically quiet. It was a beautiful noise, because it accompanied feelings of God’s love and peace. One time, (I think it was the last time I taught them), I ended my lesson by singing a duet of I’m Trying to Be Like Jesus with one of our talented young 10-year-old ladies. I felt the Spirit as I sang with her, and as we finished, you could hear a pin drop. It wasn’t necessarily our voices, but the praises we sang, that helped the children feel that Jesus really does love them, and that we can all be like Him.
I just love Primary. I felt Heavenly Father’s and Jesus’s love for them and for me over and over again as I sat and watched them, helped them, taught them, or sang with them. It has been hard the last few weeks not being with them, but I know the Lord has another responsibility waiting for me. I will do my best to fulfill whatever it is, for I know it will be for my spiritual good.

Thank you, dear Mebane Ward Primary children, for all you have done for me! You are special children of God!
October 7, 2016
A Tribute to My First Born

Casey, you are 11 years old now, and as I have observed your actions lately with admiration, I wish to honor you with a tribute.

Are you always the perfect son? No, but I am not always the perfect mother, and nobody’s perfect. You and I both know where we need to improve, but that isn’t what a tribute is for. I wish to highlight and acknowledge your deeds and accomplishments so I can show you my gratitude, admiration and love.

One thing that I love about you, Casey, is that if I need you, you are there. You don’t complain when I ask you to help with your brothers, or with cleaning, or with dinner. You do it, and you do it the best way you know how. I can’t express to you how much I need this from you, and appreciate it.

I am not a perfect mother, Casey. You know that, but whether it is picking you up from school late because I forgot it was early release day, or raising my voice when I shouldn’t, or getting overly irritated with you, you love me anyway. You don’t scold me or get angry with me. You are understanding, and express that you know I have a lot on my plate, or that you understand that being a parent it hard. Thank you for loving me.

You are a service-oriented boy too. When I suggest you write a note to someone, or make a craft, you do it willingly, and from the heart. As of late, you have even written me cards as an apology for something you did, or as a way to cheer me up. I cherish those cards, and will always keep them. You are willing to use your own money to buy gifts for family members too, and you carefully choose those gifts. What a thoughtful boy you are.

I love seeing you develop your talents, skills and interests. I can’t tell you how much it pleases me to see how much you love what I love – instruments, singing, baking, acting. The first few months of the year, we worked on our second musical together, and you asked me to help you learn the ensemble songs so you could sing in the background. You were responsible and made sure you were on stage at the right time, and you did your best with your parts.

You took part in a theater club this year too, and as one of your teachers, I was always impressed with your willingness to try anything. You gave your all to everything, from games, to improvisations, to singing. At our performance showcase, you sang “Out There” from The Hunchback of Notre Dame beautifully. It isn’t an easy song, but you made sure to analyze your character and try to show what he was feeling. Tears came to my eyes when you sang.

This year as you learned a new instrument, the trombone, you always wanted to play songs for me, and you impressed me with your skills at your band concert.

You also did your best to memorize and perform “The Star Spangled Banner” for a group number at a recent Durham Bulls game. It made me smile to hear you practicing around the house, and I loved helping you practice too. Just a few days ago, you wanted to help me bake your birthday cake – you always want to help me bake. And going back to your service-oriented heart, you melted mine when you told me you set out the ingredients for me to make the icing. When I came downstairs later, I saw the ingredients lovingly laid out, and I smiled with adoration.

Your spirituality strengthens my testimony. I always tear up when you bear your testimony in church. When your teachers tell me how much you know about the scriptures, I am so proud of you, and I know it is true. Each night when we read together as family, you have comments and questions. You pay attention and want to learn. I can’t tell you how proud I have been of you lately as you have also begun to do personal scripture study before bed. I love it when you come to me and report what you have read. You will be a wonderful missionary someday – no, you already are.

School has always been a place you have excelled. I haven’t had to get on you about doing your homework or projects. You have your weaknesses in school, but overall, you are a good friend, someone your teachers love to have in class, and a really hard worker. Your final report card and EOG scores impressed me so much. You are a smart boy, but it isn’t just smarts that bring good grades. Dedication, motivation, high standards for yourself, team work, honesty, and humility are key elements too.

On the last day of school, you presented a project on homelessness in North Carolina at the Orange County Library. You clearly did your research, and your concern for the homeless was evident. You really want to help them.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rkgZ10uq_gU

After school when you told me you want to help in soup kitchens, and really hold true to your word to help, you brought tears to my eyes. And when you said you wanted to use the money you would have received for your good grades to help the homeless, I was once again in awe of the goodness of your heart.

How wonderful is it that you love projects too, especially when you get to spend time with your dad or me. I love how you want to help in the garden, paint, or assist with other projects. Just this past Saturday, you jumped at the chance to help me build a bathroom cabinet. It was such a fun experience to spend time together, make mistakes together, and then fix them together. You have an eye for building, and your observations were right on. The finished product was awesome, and it is because you were building it with me.

And finally, Casey, you are one affectionate young man. Your hugs, kisses and soft words can really calm a person. You know what gentleness brings peace, something that many people do not realize.

Casey, I am so blessed to be your mother. Heavenly Father knew I needed you when I needed you, and you will always be one of the most special people in my life. I love you, my dear son.

June 15, 2016
Four Miracles Behind the Wheel
After I told you the story of the first time God saved my life, I started to ponder the other times He has come to my rescue.

There have been four times in my life that I could have – should have – gotten into a car accident, being either horribly hurt, or maybe even killed.

These are memories that I will never forget. I felt divine intervention each time. Read them and see if you believe they were merely luck or coincidence:
- In 2001, I was a pretty new teenage driver. I was driving myself to my job at CVS during rush hour, something I didn’t yet have experience with. I was in the lane just left of the far right lane, a lane that so happened to be merging into mine. I saw a car start to creep in front of me, even though there wasn’t room. I was confused about why he was doing that, and just kept inching forward, hoping he would move back. Well, he didn’t move back, and kept edging into the lane, so much so, that he was inches away from hitting my car. In a panic, I swerved into the lane to the left of me, without even checking to see if there was room. My car fit perfectly into the lane. I know this was a miracle. Surely the Lord inspired a driver in that lane to slow down and make room for a teenage girl in a white Hyundai hatchback.
- The same year, when going home from work, my purse fell down under my accelerator. My car spun out of control as I was entering the freeway. Still being a new driver, I was scared to death, and anticipated going off the road and hitting either another car or a tree. Somehow, I was able to pick up my purse from under the accelerator, regain control, and go on my way without hitting anyone. I felt so blessed that nobody was in front or behind me, and that I was able to regain control so quickly, before I entered mainstream traffic.
- One winter, around 2009, the roads were icy because of recent snow. I had just left my apartment in Hillsborough, and was starting to go around a downhill curve. My car started to slide a lot and I lost control. Almost immediately, before I had time to panic, I felt my wheel regain control. It wasn’t my hands that did so. I felt like there were other hands controlling my steering wheel. I have always believed that angels put my car back on a safe path.
- Around 2011 or 2012, I was driving in Durham on 15-501. There is a road that runs parallel to it. To get to that road, one has to turn left across several lanes. I got in the left lane to turn, but instead of going across the traffic onto the parallel road, I actually turned into the oncoming traffic. I was supposed to cross over several lanes of traffic onto a parallel road. Instead, I turned into oncoming traffic. Suddenly, everything went into slow motion. I knew that at any moment I could be hit by a car and killed, but I wasn’t alarmed and didn’t lose control. I calmly backed up into the lane I had just come from. I know this was a miracle. I should have been hit by a car, because as I turned into the traffic, several cars were headed my way. Not only did those cars not hit me, the cars behind me, who had also gotten into the turning lane, were far enough back that I could go back to safety.
I do not know why my life was spared in all these situations, as well in situations where I actually was in an accident. Perhaps it is because I am supposed to share my testimony that God is real, and that angels are real. Perhaps it is because I have a mission on this earth I am yet to fulfill. Perhaps it is simply so I can see God’s hand in my life, and always be grateful to Him for blessing me, for protecting me.

Behind the wheel is just one way in which God has been there for me. I testify He is there for you too. How have you felt God’s protection in your life?
August 27, 2015
A Dream with a Message

Most of the dreams I have, I forget, or if I do remember them, they make no sense.

Well, the night of July 21, 2015, I had a dream I will never forget. The power of the Holy Ghost was so overwhelming, that it consumed my thoughts and heart during the dream, and after I awoke.

That particular night, I dreamt about Joseph Smith:

A large group of church members were at gathered at church because a play was going to be done about the Prophet Joseph Smith.

The setting of the dream was in modern times with modern conveniences.

There were so many people, that not everyone could fit to view the play. I, and a group of other people, had to sit in a classroom and listen to the play. I was actually quite content with that, because that room was actually where the actors’ offstage was located.

I remember being so excited to see the man playing Joseph Smith. After one scene, a mob scene, the actors ran into the classroom.

I was so happy to meet him. Somehow, this man looked exactly like the actor from the Joseph Smith movie.

For the rest of my dream, though, he was no longer an actor, but the real Joseph Smith.

I remember sitting at his feet and speaking to him. I talked to him about my favorite part of the gospel (In real life, the evening I had my dream, the missionaries were in my home and asked my husband and I to answer that very question). I told him it was the Holy Ghost because he testifies of truth, and because he can provide us with spiritual power to be able to testify of the truthfulness of the gospel and to do missionary work.

The Prophet Joseph told me that I was missing something important, and that I needed to focus on Jesus Christ.

He walked away then. I felt crushed and a little mad, since he didn’t offer any other explanation.

Soon, everyone in the building heard many loud noises and screams. We found out that a real mob had come to find Joseph and kill him. The mob was going around to every room searching for him. The mob finally came to our classroom. A woman in the mob yelled angrily that she could tell one of us was hiding something, and she pointed right to my son, Casey.

He fearfully said he had to go to the bathroom. I stood up with him, and took him there. The mob didn’t stop us.

We were so scared. I wondered where Joseph was, and if he was okay. I was crying a lot, and praying with my son.

I don’t know if the mob left, or if they just went elsewhere, but I soon saw Joseph again.I sat at his feet, tears streaming down my face. He stayed very calm, and asked me how I keep Heavenly Father fresh in my mind.

I told him that I pray to Him, and also that I often ponder on the Plan of Salvation. He was pleased with my answers. I don’t remember what else I said, but the thought stayed with me of how important it is to always keep Heavenly Father in my mind.

I felt so happy in Joseph’s presence. He told me that he would be okay, and that the mob would not hurt him.

He had felt that this would happen, so long before he had come that night, a plan was formulated on how to hide him. A master carpenter had changed a large wooden cabinet into a wall, so Joseph could hide behind it as long as was necessary. Nobody would ever think to look behind a wall for him.

He was prepared to stay in there as long as needed, and there were members who would have brought him food, water, and clothes.

I felt a deep, abiding love for the man in my dream – a respect, a reverence and an admiration I cannot describe.

When I awoke, I felt that the Holy Ghost had testified to me in my dream that Joseph Smith was a true prophet. He also had given me a small taste of the horror the early Saints went through as angry, hateful mobs – armed to kill – invaded their homes and lives.

I am grateful for this dream. The tears flowed during the dream, and as I wrote my memories of it. I already knew that Joseph Smith was a prophet. I have known that for a long time. Now, though, I feel like I know him, and I have received counsel from him that he would have told me had I lived when he did.

“The fundamental principles of our religion are the testimony of the Apostles and Prophets, concerning Jesus Christ, that He died, was buried, and rose again the third day, and ascended into heaven; and all other things which pertain to our religion are only appendages to it.” – President Joseph Smith, Jr.

August 2, 2015
Faith is the key

*An abridged version can be found on familyshare.com.

As someone who has many friends and family members who have questioned their faith, whether it be in their specific religion, or God Himself, this subject of losing faith has been consistently in my mind.I am someone who loves to help. Anyone who knows me knows that I constantly am looking for ways to serve. I feel one of the most important ways to serve is by helping others in spiritual matters.

If you are one who has lost his/her faith, let me try to help you.

Let’s start with a simple physical analogy. When you lose a key, or your phone, or your kid’s favorite teddy bear, what do you do?

1. You realize you have lost it and slightly panic.
2. You look around the immediate area.
3. If you don’t see it there, you retrace your steps.
4. If you still can’t find it, you ask other people who may have seen it to help you find it.
5. You look for as long as it takes because that item is essential to you.
6. If you don’t find it after all that, you may feel defeated and sad. Then, and only then, do you even consider replacing what it was you lost.

Guess what? These same steps can be used for when you lose your testimony of one or all aspects of your faith.

First, you will realize that something is missing. You don’t feel that fire like you used to. You find you have doubts, a lot of them. You wonder if you ever really knew God was real, or that Jesus is your Savior, or if certain books of scripture are true.

There are many options you can choose as you realize you have lost your faith, but the best option, the only option that will lead you to your end goal of finding your faith, is to reflect on your life. Reflect on the blessings you have, on the goodness you see because of the faith you have lived by.

If you can’t see that because you have been slowly detaching for a long time, you should retrace your steps, meaning look back upon your past. Think of special times that you exhibited faith, made a commitment to God, felt the Holy Spirit, felt a prayer answered. Perhaps you will want to write those things down.

I have spoken to people who question if those special spiritual experiences of the past were a hoax. It saddens me to hear that. I think that we each have a conscience, we each have an inherent goodness, and we each have the light of Christ within us. If we felt peace and joy in those moments, it wasn’t a lie.

Perhaps, though, you really struggle believing that what you once felt was really right. That is when you can talk to others. You can talk to friends and family who do have their faith, and who can testify to you. Most importantly, you can and should commune with your Heavenly Father. Pour out your heart to Him earnestly, sincerely, and humbly. Ask for His guidance, for His love, for His spirit to rest upon you and envelop you. Ask Him to help you remember, and to confirm to you the truth you once knew.

You may lose heart if you try these things and nothing helps you find your faith. Be patient. Keep searching. Read your scriptures, continue to pray, fast, talk to those who help lead you back to your faith rather than push you away from it, for running away from what you lost will not help you find it. In fact, it most certainly guarantees you never will.

I have had enough experience in my life with prayer, scripture study, and soul-searching to testify to you that this method will work if you are willing to hear God’s answer. If you already have your mind made up, you will never be able to hear His voice.

I believe that in most cases, number 6, replacing your lost faith with something else, will not be a necessity as long as steps 1-5 are taken very seriously and sacredly. However, if you have done all of the other steps with full purpose of heart, and you still don’t find your faith, perhaps God is telling you there is more out there for you. Just remember that it is in God you must trust if you wish to find and nourish your faith once more.

I am there for anyone who ever wishes to have conversations with me about faith. I want to help, and by so doing, I know my faith will also grow.

Much love to all of you who are confused and unable to find your way. There is hope, and you can get the answers you seek.

March 19, 2015