Before I begin writing what I wish to say, I want you to understand that what I share in this post can change your life if you allow it. My life has already been changed.
If you are someone who feels discomfort, or even fear, dread, or anger when discussing the LGBTQ+ community, this post is for you even if you feel like you’d rather stop reading. Instead, I’m asking you to trust me and to believe me when I share my feelings and experiences in this post.
This writing is directed to members of my church, but I believe what I say can touch and help others as well. First, I invite you to please watch this video I made a few months back with the help of my dear brother, Aaron.
*If you would like more details from my growth on this topic, you can read it here.
In the video I said, “I encourage each of us to ask God how we can contribute to the joy, hope, and belonging of the LGBTQ people all around us.”
I have been trying to do this in my life by reading/listening to the experiences of LGBTQ+ individuals, putting loving bumper stickers on my car like “Be Kind” and “Jesus Loves You,” and wearing shirts that say things like “You are Enough,” “Love Thy Neighbor,” and “God loves the people we don’t.” I have similar stickers on my favorite water bottles too. (Try The Happy Givers if you would like to get similar things.) I have lovingly corrected people as they have said insensitive things about the LGBTQ+ community (when I have had the courage and ability to do so). I have written blog posts expressing love for this community and encouraging others to learn to do the same. I have also been a part of a latter-day saint group that meets together to find ways to be better Christlike allies for this community. And finally, because of that ally group, I have had the opportunity and privilege for the past few months to help plan an event that just happened this past Saturday called Gather Conference Southeast.
This conference was a regional subset of the official Gather Conference which is held in Provo, Utah. The goal of Gather Conferences is “to create a hope filled & supportive event for Latter-day Saint LGBTQ individuals, family members, and friends—sharing stories, providing resources and education, creating a community of belonging and connection to Jesus Christ.”
I couldn’t assist in the planning very much once school started, and I almost decided not to go to the conference because I didn’t feel useful, but something told me that I needed to be there. So, I did.
The morning of the conference, I first attended the temple as a dear friend made covenants with God. Then I made my way to the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Raleigh, NC.
I was very late for the conference, but when I arrived, I was met with friendly faces who helped me get where I needed to be. I loved the venue that was chosen for this conference. It was evident all around how accepting and loving this fellowship was, making it a perfect place to gather. To help illustrate that, here is a picture I found on their website:
I arrived right before the next session of classes. I visited the registration table first, which had a lot of nice mementos. Everyone also got to write something they wanted to get out of the conference on a strip of colored paper. We made large paper chains with these papers. Here are some of the answers that were given:
It was soon time for the next class, and my friend Misa and I chose to go to the LGBTQ+ Community Listening Session. In retrospect, this class was probably more for members of the LGBTQ+ community than anyone else, but it was such a special, Spirit-filled class.
It started with a video that was so incredibly poignant, it left me breathless. It was called “Souled of Other Stars: A Story of Coming Out and Coming In.”
We all sat in awe for a moment, and then for the rest of the time, we sat in a circle listening to beautiful people share their stories. After each person shared, we all thanked that person by name for sharing. We all listened intently, and you could tell each person in the room really cared and was moved by each story. The stories, experiences, and identities were all so different, but what tied us all together was a desire to listen, love, lift, and understand. I shed tears many times during that session, but I also felt a great sense of hope and I felt God’s love surrounding all there. We ended the session with a group hug that most of us partook in. It was a tight hug, and it felt amazing. I felt so privileged to be amongst these children of God. Here is a picture of the whole group.
After a break, all conference attendees sat together in the sanctuary for an 8-person LGBTQ+ Panel Discussion. This was my favorite part of the day. I was heart-warmed to see that many of the people that were in the listening session were also on the panel. Meghan Decker, a prominent gay latter-day saint author, led the panel in a series of questions. On the panel were gay, lesbian, a-sexual, transgender, non-binary, bi-sexual, and genderqueer individuals.
I cannot even begin to express how much hearing this panel answer questions meant to me. I have already known and cherished much of my brother’s story, but hearing these queer latter-day saints courageously, vulnerably, and honestly share so much about their life experiences and hardships touched my soul so deeply. Their identities, stories, struggles, dreams, testimonies, insights, and paths were all different, but it was clear that each of them loved God, loved their neighbor, and just wanted to be loved and welcomed, and to feel like they belong. I cried a lot during this panel discussion, and I learned what it really means to “mourn with those that mourn and comfort those that stand in need of comfort. (Mosiah 18:9).” If any community needs that, it’s the LGBTQ+ community. My heart broke when panelists burst into tears, and sometimes even sobbed over how they had been treated by church members, friends, and often even their families when they did come out. Though this was sad, there were also happy tears as those in the room could feel the strength of a panelist’s testimony of God’s love for them, their individual worth, and their divine mission on the earth. These dear people knew, or are coming to know, that this was how God created them, and they are doing their best to use their unique gifts to help others.
After this discussion, I honestly didn’t want to leave because there was such a warmth in the room. I felt the Holy Ghost so strongly and a sense of unity that I rarely feel.
It was dinner time. Before that, I rehearsed a musical number that a group of us were singing before the keynote speaker, Richard Ostler. Then I rode with a couple of them to dinner at a delicious restaurant called David’s Dumpling and Noodle Bar. All the panelists, special speakers, and committee members who planned the conference sat together at a huge table.
I was sitting within talking distance of four of the panelists, and it was an amazing time. We were all sharing our food with each other and laughing and joking. Normally in a large group gathering like that, I am very uncomfortable, but this time, I was completely at ease. I smiled because I wouldn’t normally share food with people I don’t know, and I normally would be really self-conscious about food in my teeth or on my face. But in this atmosphere, I was happy and really felt at home. We had all come to the conference for a common goal, and we all felt safe with each other. I loved it and I was filled body and soul.
After dinner it was time to prepare for our keynote speaker, Richard Ostler, who is a very sweet older gentleman who is the host of the Listen, Learn, & Love Book and Podcast. Before he began, I sang “Dear to the Heart of the Shepherd” with three other talented singers. It felt wonderful to sing such a tender song about the Savior’s love to the audience. You can listen to it here or watch it here.
“Papa Ostler,” as he is affectionately called, gave a wonderful address along with a PowerPoint presentation. He shared current church teachings and how they have changed, some personal stories that illustrated how God called him to be an advocate for the LGBTQ+ community, and many stories of LGBTQ+ people he has interviewed for his podcast. Three of the stories were about individuals who served on the panel discussion earlier in the day. I will link to their stories below:
Lindsey Sais (Her comments in my first class and in the panel discussion were some of my favorites. She is very wise and is truly a survivor.)
Jessop Oliver (He was the one I sang a duet with at the beginning of the musical number and sat next to at dinner. He’s a cheerful, kind, and caring young man who lives in Durham.)
Meghan Decker (She is a calm, articulate, and intellectual woman who does a great job of leading a discussion.)
It amazes me how many people Papa Ostler has interviewed (almost 800 as of this writing). I love how he just listens and loves. He doesn’t judge or push anyone away. He also truly mourns with community, especially those who felt they had no other choice but to end their lives. We can learn a lot from him.
After his address concluded, we had a closing prayer and then our host, Lyric, who was hugely instrumental in planning this event, asked all the LGBTQ+ individuals in the audience (who felt comfortable) to stand in a circle at the front and hold hands. And then she asked the rest of us to stand around them, encircling them with our love and support. It was a truly sacred moment as there were smiles and tears from many members of the group, inside and outside the circle.
Here is the final group photo from most of us who came (some had to leave early).
It was hard to leave this conference. There was a sheen of tears in my eyes, and a whole lot of love in my heart. It occurred to me that this must be what Zion must feel like. Everyone at the conference was truly “of one heart and one mind (Moses 7:18).” I thought about why it felt that way, and I think it’s because we were without judgment that day. We just saw each other as beloved children of God and we wanted to help each other feel loved, welcome, valued, and heard.
There are so many nuggets of wisdom that touched my heart at this wonderful Gather Conference. Allow me to share some of them. You may notice that these points mirror what my brother said in the video very well:
Meghan Decker shared that when you find out someone is LGBTQ+, you get to take what you know about the person and what you know about their sexual orientation/gender identity and make a choice to either change how you feel about the person or how you feel about their sexual orientation/gender identity. In my brother’s case, most people chose to change how they felt about him, leading only to pain.
Many LGBTQ+ individuals feel like they don’t belong. We must do better at building relationships with them, giving them a safe space, and listening to their experiences. One way to do that is to stop making LGBTQ+ people a taboo topic. If we don’t then fear, distrust, and disgust will continue to abound instead of compassion, empathy, and love. It is very painful for LGBTQ+ individuals to have to hide who they really are because they feel unsafe. If we cultivate a more inclusive environment at church, then people will feel safe sharing who they really are. When I think about this, my mind goes to David Buckner’s talk during this past General Conference. When I heard the talk the first time, this quote stuck out to me: “Do we warmly welcome all who come through the doors? Brothers and sisters, it is not enough to just sit in the pews. We must heed the Savior’s call to build higher and holier relationships with all of God’s children. We must live our faith!” The entire talk is amazing, and I encourage all members of the Church to listen to this talk through the lens of the LGBTQ+ community.
For those of us who are cisgender and heterosexual, we may never truly understand how someone can have a different sexual orientation or gender identity. What we can do is listen, believe, learn, love, and embrace. We don’t have to understand to do any of that. This community needs us to amplify their voices by involving them, lovingly correcting others who make insensitive comments, and talking about their realities so that others can also learn and change their hearts.
Worth and love aren’t earned but are unlimited gifts from God to all His children. Nothing can remove anyone from that love. Jesus invites all into His fold. So should we. To help us love better, we need to see our LGBTQ+ siblings as part of us, and not an “other” group. Remember that “[Jesus] inviteth them all to come unto him and partake of his goodness; and he denieth none that come unto him, black and white, bond and free, male and female; and he remembereth the heathen; and all are alike unto God, both Jew and Gentile (2 Nephi 26:33).”
When someone does come out to us, it takes a lot of courage and vulnerability. This should be a time for loving, listening, believing, and trusting. Too many people make light of their loved one’s experiences and feelings, only think about how the news will change their own lives, and even try to fix or change their loved one. The right thing to do is to be there for your loved one, meet them where they are, and trust them to receive their own personal revelation for their lives. Help them feel God’s love for them and internalize that this is how God created them. They have a divine purpose to fulfil on this earth just the way they are. Sometimes this news will change the dynamic of your home or relationship, but allow it to be a positive and creative experience as you make adjustments and new traditions.
One of the things we got in our swag bags at the conference was a bumper sticker and wristband that both say the word “Stonecatcher.” Elder Dale G. Renlund spoke of this concept in his General Conference talk from three years ago. Here is a portion of that talk (in this section he is quoting author Bryan Stevenson who wrote Just Mercy):
“…Mr. [Bryan] Stevenson observed that self-righteousness, fear, and anger have caused even Christians to hurl stones at people who stumble. He then said, ‘We can’t simply watch that happen,’ and he encouraged the congregants to become ‘stonecatchers.’ Brothers and sisters, not throwing stones is the first step in treating others with compassion. The second step is to try to catch stones thrown by others.
How we deal with advantages and disadvantages is part of life’s test. We will be judged not so much by what we say but by how we treat the vulnerable and disadvantaged. As Latter-day Saints, we seek to follow the Savior’s example, to go about doing good. We demonstrate our love for our neighbor by working to ensure the dignity of all Heavenly Father’s children.”
That is my ultimate purpose and prayer in writing this post: for all of us to become stonecatchers for the LGBTQ+ community, and for any other marginalized group of people. Please remember that every person, whether different from you or not, is equal to you in the sight of God. Every person laughs, cries, thinks, feels, make mistakes, and does good. Every person has unique quality traits that bless the lives of those they touch. I love every person I met at Gather Conference Southeast. I pray that all within the sound of my voice can feel such love in their lives.
On August 18, 2024, I gave a brief talk in church about experiences I have had where I have felt the Holy Ghost comfort me. It was so beautiful to ponder on my life as well as read through old blog posts I have written to find some of those experiences. In my talk I shared five, all of which have a blog post that give all the details! I hope you enjoy reading about these five very important experiences in my life.
Just before I turned 22, I moved to NC to live with my parents, as a newly divorced single mom of an almost one-year-old named Casey. I had no friends, no confidence, and was constantly sad. I felt I had failed as a wife and mother. I adored my son but felt this constant need to change my circumstances so I could fit the ideals in the family proclamation. I felt hopeless for months, but then one day, as I was reading the proclamation again, my eyes fell on this statement: All human beings are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny.
In large part because of my (emotionally) abusive marriage, I had forgotten that I was a daughter of God, and that I had a divine nature and destiny. I had made myself believe that I only had true worth if I had what I thought was the ideal life. But no, I always had divine worth, and I always had a friend in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.
The Holy Ghost comforted me by reminding me of this divine truth, and it changed my life for the better.
One night in 2011, Jad had to go to the hospital because he felt like knives were stabbing him, and he could hardly stand the pain. Through a CT scan and a series of blood tests, we finally found out that he had echinococcus, a parasite that had been growing in, and eating away at, his liver for about 10 years. Jad was going to have to have major surgery that came with risks. The news was a little overwhelming, but somehow, we had faith all would be well. As the date approached for his surgery, Jad and I were not worried. We went into the hospital with a positive attitude. After 8 hours of surgery, I was able to see Jad. At first, I felt intense sympathy for him, but then I felt God’s love surrounding both of us. I knew that He was with us, and that Jad’s surgery had gone well because of much faith and prayers, and because Jad had a special mission to perform for the Lord in this life. He would recover, and he would go forward in faith.
The Holy Ghost comforted us by testifying of God’s hand in Jad’s life and God’s love for him and our family.
In 2016, when I was pregnant with Eve, I developed hypertension. At an appointment over five weeks before her due date, I was told I needed to go to the hospital right away. After I got to the car, I burst into tears and sobbed, praying for my baby. I checked into the hospital and was hooked up to the blood pressure machine. As I was lying on the bed in a moment alone, the tears started streaming down my face again. Just when I felt the tears would never stop, a soft but steady movement started in my tummy. My baby had woken up, and it was as if she was telling me that everything would be okay. I immediately felt that she was trying to comfort me, and that I could stop crying. I know that her moving for that long period of time was just for me.
The Holy Ghost comforted me through the movements of my unborn baby girl.
In 2020, someone I care deeply about strongly disagreed with some of my perspectives and decisions, which led to a huge rift in our relationship, something I never wanted or expected. For several months, I was in anguish over it. I spent a lot of time praying about the situation, but no answers or comfort came. But the next April, as I was watching General Conference, a message pierced my soul. I felt it was just for me, and everything in the message gave me comfort and peace knowing that the perspectives I had and the decisions I had made were good and led by the Holy Spirit.
The Holy Ghost comforted me by inspiring an apostle of the Lord to share a message I desperately needed to hear.
In 2022, my life was thrown for a loop when I found out I was pregnant with Asher. Normally one would be excited for a new baby, but because of our lives at the time, this was very difficult news filled with many worries and disappointment, and lots of tears. I prayed all the time for strength, guidance, courage, and a softened heart. Everything I prayed for, God blessed me with, including patience, long-suffering, and faithfulness. My attitude about my pregnancy completely shifted, and I was able to be cheerful and optimistic, even with all my health issues. I unfortunately developed preeclampsia and had to be induced almost 6 weeks early. But, God had helped me prepare for it by manifesting to me that this would happen in advance. He also gave me energy to prepare for my son’s birth and helped me stay calm so I wouldn’t worry. After I had Asher, God blessed Jad and me with the stamina to care for Asher in the NICU while also tending to the needs of our other four children, even while we were both healing -me from childbirth, and him from a bad fall. Most importantly, God blessed us with an overwhelming love for this little boy we never knew we needed.
The Holy Ghost comforted me during this time by helping me see how my prayers were being answered, and for helping me overcome my worries and disappointments and replace them with optimism, calm, strength, and love.
I’m so grateful for how the Holy Ghost has directly or through others, comforted me throughout my life. It has made all the difference in times of trial.
Last night before midnight, our family discussed our year and what events were most meaningful to us. It was no contest: Asher’s birth was the most wonderful and memorable event to happen in our 2023. And our lives have never been the same since he came home to us two weeks later. You can learn more about his birth and first month of life here: A Onesie with Meaning | Making Life a Bliss Complete
The other experiences that meant the most to me in 2023 were directly related to Casey. Seeing him graduate from high school, turn 18, prepare to serve a mission, leave for his mission, and then feeling of his spirit as he serves his mission have been life-changing for me. You can read more about Casey’s transition into adulthood and missionary here: A Month without My Missionary | Making Life a Bliss Complete
It’s interesting to me that the God saw fit for me to simultaneously begin raising a child and wrap up raising a child at the same time. I know I will always be Caseys’ mother no matter how old he gets, but it feels a lot different having an adult child than having a baby.
So for me, Asher coming into the world and Casey leaving the nest are my two major highlights of 2023. This past year has also been filled with many other challenging and fulfilling things, such as:
Rigel turning 12 and receiving the Aaronic Priesthood. Seeing him pass the Sacrament and speak in church have been so special to us.
Joining an LGBTQ ally group with other members of my church to cultivate love, education, and understanding around our LGBTQ siblings.
Attending monthly girls’ nights with friends, old and new. This is so therapeutic for me.
Enjoying having a son with a driver’s license and then six months later having to adjust to not having him there to run errands and drive people around. We definitely appreciated that while we had it.
Learning how to have a baby in the house again and bursting with love for my baby and for the rest of my kids as they adored their new brother.
Eve and Casey performing in our church’s musical of “The Secret Garden.” It was Eve’s first musical and Casey’s first musical playing a lead. I was so grateful to be able to experience this musical from the audience.
Joining a new book club and sometimes reading the books, ha!
Seeing my husband be called to the Bishopric of my congregation and noticing the changes in him for good, as well as feeling for him as he experienced more stress, less time, and more concern for his fellow man.
Making new friends through one of Casey’s best friends. I am so grateful for these new friends and all the memories we have made in half a year!
Learning how to help Casey as he suffered from depression.
Feeling inspired to go back to my book draft from years ago and get back to work on it so I can self-publish it. I will never put it down and give up on it again. I know I was directed to write it and I will publish it this year.
Mourning as my first son moved away from me for the first time in 18 years.
Feeling such joy and love for this same son as he faithfully serves the Lord each day.
Singing in the local Messiah concert for the first time in four years. It was wonderful to have the group back together. There is such a special spirit that comes from worshiping through song.
Kamren, Eve, and Rigel starting karate lessons. They absolutely love it!
Suing our builder over flooring issues and losing because of a technicality over the name. We will sue again this month under another business name. We hate doing it, but we know it’s the right thing to do.
Donating to the Light the World Giving Machine. It took only a few minutes of our time, but it is something we will never forget.
Sleeping poorly almost every night since Asher was born.
Adjusting to not being able to accomplish things nearly as often or quickly as I am used to.
Dealing with self-image issues due to my weight and health. I hope that I can work on this more in 2024 after Asher turns one and is weaned.
Having very little time with my husband since Asher won’t sleep until late at night.
Enjoying family fun times, like school concerts, birthday parties, Monster Jam, the Richmond, VA Temple Open House, strawberry picking, the Greensboro Science Center, a trip to Hendersonville, a day at Carolina Beach, tons of fun times in our pool, family visits, Chestnut Ridge, and Carowinds’ Winterfest.
There are so many other things I could mention about 2023. I have learned a lot about adapting, simplifying, managing my time, loving more deeply, being more present, following the promptings of the Holy Ghost, and more.
I’m so grateful for each year of my life. Some have been harder than others. All have been full of learning opportunities, blessings, and love.
I hope and pray that 2024 will be a fulfilling year and that my family, friends, and I can all progress in our lives and feel joy and peace throughout our successes and struggles.
Today has been exactly one month since my first born, Casey Scott Lewis, left home to serve a service mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I have so many thoughts and feelings to share. Before I do, I want to share Casey’s story leading up to his mission.
In the summer of 2022, as Casey’s senior year drew near, I was wondering what his future would look like after high school. We had talked off and on about him serving a mission, but he hadn’t committed. Rather than pressure him, I helped him research and tour schools. We felt really good about two schools, UNCG and SVU. Casey applied to both schools but didn’t know if he would be serving a mission. Jad and I hoped he would want to, but we never pushed him.
I am grateful to say things changed in Casey’s own time. Here is a Facebook post I wrote on November 3, 2022:
…in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, young men are encouraged to serve a 2-year mission to spread the gospel of Christ through teaching and service. This typically happens just out of high school. Casey had not spoken much about going on a mission, and I felt inspired not to push or pressure him to go. I did talk to him about it occasionally but was never overbearing about it. That’s one of the reasons why I started the college touring process – so that he could be better equipped to figure out his future on his own terms. Well, one day after church, maybe 2 months ago now (or less), he sat down with me and told me he had decided to serve a mission. He said he had felt the Holy Ghost testify to him that there were people on this earth that he could serve and teach who needed him personally. Oh, how I cried tears of joy. There were many events and experiences that helped lead to this final decision, but one thing he told me was that he had taken so long to decide partly because he didn’t like to be pressured to serve a mission, and he had been pressured by many family members for quite some time. He expressed appreciation for me not pressuring him, and once again, there was concrete evidence that mother’s intuition is real and divinely inspired.
…I’m so grateful to be a mother and I’m grateful that God has entrusted me to help lead and guide my children to their full potential. I don’t always answer that call successfully, but through these experiences, I feel so much more content that I can do it, and that it can help change my kids’ lives for the better.
Casey’s senior year continued, and I got excited about preparing for his future. I ordered a sign to post in our yard, honoring him as a senior in high school, and a future missionary! Here is the sign I put in our yard on January 19:
We waited a couple of months, and then Casey and I began diligent work on his mission paperwork. It was quite the process, but it felt so satisfying to submit his mission papers on April 16. I wrote this on Facebook that day:
In a few short months Casey will be a missionary! We submitted his mission papers today. We are excited for what’s next.
Our Bishop reviewed Casey’s papers a few days later, and then set up an interview with him. Casey’s papers were soon submitted to church headquarters. We were told that mission calls usually take two weeks to receive and come on Tuesdays, so we expected he would get his call on May 16. He didn’t, which was a bummer, so we waited as patiently as possible until the next week, and the next week, and you get the idea.
Time went on without his mission call, and Casey graduated high school on June 10. I wrote that morning:
I’m feeling a little emotional this morning. My baby is graduating from high school today! I have been really good at holding back the tears, and just being excited all this time, but there are definitely tears in my eyes this morning. I am so blessed and proud to be Casey’s mama. He gave me a long, tender hug last night and it felt like he was telling me thank you for being his mom and for helping get him to this point. It has been my honor. 💛💚🖤
And then later that day I wrote:
My first born is a high school graduate! I cried so much at the end. I am so proud of my baby and I’m so excited for what is to come. I’m also sad about the inevitable changes but I know he will go far and be a success whatever he does.
The next evening, Casey graduated from seminary (a scriptural class he took his four years of high school). I posted on Facebook that night:
Seminary graduation was tonight. It was such a thoughtful event and so special. Casey and five other senior students graduated. Studying the scriptures daily with other high school peers during all four years of high school was a sacrifice but so worth it. Casey gave a little talk about how seminary has helped prepare him to serve a mission. I love how much he is growing as a public speaker. I can’t wait for him to be a missionary.
Then on June 14, Casey turned 18! I wrote:
Today my first born turned 18. Casey made me a mother one week before I turned 21. I felt so strongly that I was supposed to be pregnant and I’m so grateful I did. It was a sacrifice to be such a young mother, especially with the trials that would come, but I would not trade it for the world.
Casey has his moments when he’s not always a picnic to be around, but he is honestly such a wonderful young man the vast majority of the time. He’s smart, mature, spiritual, compassionate, a good friend, a great listener who also gives great advice, a lover of small children and babies, a great helper, and so much more. I love having deep conversations with him. I love seeing him be friends with people of many ages and backgrounds without judgment. I love that he tries so hard to see the good in others and to reach out to the marginalized. I love how he understands spiritual matters with such insight. I love seeing him in love and thinking of someone else above himself. I love seeing him gush over his baby brother over and over again. I love thinking about him as a new adult and all the possibilities that come with that. He has a plan and it’s a good plan. He’s still waiting for his mission call and we are waiting as patiently as we can until that next step comes.
We are all so blessed to have Casey in our lives. I am so happy to be his mother.
So many wonderful things were happening that increased my love for my boy, but still no mission call. Finally, six weeks after he thought he would get his mission call, he finally got it on June 27.
We planned a get-together with friends and family under our church pavilion for the next night, with a Zoom call for all those who couldn’t attend in person. I was surprised by his call, and a little disappointed – at least at first. It didn’t take me long to change my tune as we talked to friends and family who had experience with, and love of, that mission, or ones close by. That night, I wrote on Facebook:
Casey finally got his mission call! He will be serving in the Salt Lake City West mission for the next two years. He reports to the missionary training center (MTC) on September 11. We are so excited for him!
On July 11, Casey wrote a little testimony to post to our congregation’s social media pages. He wrote:
I have a testimony of his Savior and his atonement and that I know the church is true and through my service during my mission I can help others come to the knowledge of that truth. I know that while it might seem hard at times I will serve and teach to the fullest of my ability.
I spent quite a bit of time after Casey got his call reading about his mission, following a Missionary Mama page on Facebook where I learned so much, instructing him on the preparations needed, and shopping, shopping, shopping. I shopped for weeks, ha! On July 13, I wrote this on Facebook:
Shopping for a 2-year mission is very time consuming and expensive. I have enjoyed it though. I lovefinding the best bang for the buck and checking things off lists.
Two of the most important things to do in preparation for Casey serving a mission were planning for him to receive the Melchizedek Priesthood and be ordained to the office of an Elder, and then for him to go through the temple to make sacred covenants with God.
Casey had to be interviewed and found worthy to participate in both sacred events. On July 26, our Stake President interviewed Casey and found him worthy of both. We also made the plan for Casey to be set apart as a missionary the night of September 10.
On Sunday, July 30, Casey was ordained. Here is my account of that day:
It amazes me as Casey goes through the steps to become a missionary how much more love I have for him. It’s a love of admiration and a new level of attachment.
Today my eyes were wet more than once because of my son.
During our second hour meeting today, the youth and adults were together. Casey was one of three youth asked to share spiritual experiences from recent camps or conferences. Casey shared about an experience from FSY where that Tuesday evening he got really overwhelmed and felt an intense sadness and darkness without real reason. Finally by Thursday he prayed for help to overcome this sadness he couldn’t pinpoint. It went away instantly, and he was able to participate in a discussion with other young men about our church’s young men theme. The first line says that “I am a beloved son of God.” He said (paraphrasing) that the reason it’s so important to know and internalize this truth is because it never changes. Life is full of difficult changes and uncertainties, but as long as we know that God loves us and that we are His children, we can get through all of them. I felt so much love for him as he spoke because he was speaking with the Holy Ghost. I also loved other comments he made in the meeting regarding bullying and how we treat others. My mom remarked that he will be a great missionary. I can’t wait to see how he helps others on his mission feel God’s love for them.
Jad gave a beautiful introduction about the oaths and covenants involved in this office and then ordained Casey, adding in a beautiful blessing and words of council. I felt the Holy Ghost so strongly. At the end of the blessing Jad talked about all those who love and support Casey. He saved me for last as the mostinfluential person in his life as he has grown up. I felt so honored and felt such a strong connection to him.
After the ordination, there were many hugs. Mine was extra long and sweet. I’m so grateful for the journey Casey is on and how we can be along for the spiritual ride. I’m even more grateful to be his mother now and forever.
The next sacred day was August 6 when Casey made sacred covenants in the House of the Lord. Here is what I wrote about it:
Yesterday was such a special and sacred day that I will always cherish. Casey attended the temple and made sacred covenants with Heavenly Father yesterday in what is called the endowment ordinance. You can learn more about it here: https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/…/what-is-temple…
We felt the presence of the Holy Ghost as we were able to worship in the temple with Casey as he made these special covenants.
We are so grateful that my parents and much of the Christensen family could be a part of it, either by attending the endowment session or by watching Asher. My mother-in-law and her sister watched Eve, Kamren and Rigel all day for us as well.
After the temple we took photos and went to a nice lunch before heading home...
I will never forget how I felt yesterday. I am loving seeing my Casey grow spiritually and mentally as he prepares to serve his mission.
Everything was so wonderful as Casey was moving closer and closer to being a missionary for the Lord. Unfortunately, not long after Casey went through the temple, I started to notice him slowly withdrawing from the family. I first thought maybe he was just studying his scriptures more, or trying to get used to what life would be like away from home, but it kept getting worse where he rarely showed himself to the family. One afternoon, I went upstairs to his room to talk to him about my concerns. It was that day Casey and I realized that he was depressed. He told me he had been having some thoughts of self-harm, had not been sleeping well and was tired all the time, was more irritable, and was experiencing vomiting and even hyperventilation at times.
We had him go see his psychiatrist who put him on medication that didn’t work at all. It made the vomiting worse and didn’t help with the sleep or his mood. Casey tried another medication, which would ultimately be the right one, but it took quite a while to get the right dosage and for it to work.
This was a very difficult time in our family. Casey’s moods were difficult to navigate. I had to tell the kids to stay away from him as much as possible so as not to bother him. He didn’t have much of an appetite, and mostly he just stayed away from everyone and stayed in bed (when he wasn’t irritable about something).
I was so worried about Casey, and by the third week of August or so, we were worried that Casey’s mission would have to be postponed. I even called Missionary Medical to ask if someone with depression could serve a mission. I was told yes if the medication was only for depression and not psychosis. I was also told that we needed to keep our Stake President notified of all that was going on. We did notify him, and he was kind and hopeful.
The next week our Stake president told us that Casey needed to have a pre-mission health assessment to confirm that he could serve. I prayed and prayed that Casey would be able to get better quickly so he could serve his mission as planned.
The phone call happened, and unfortunately, Casey was not better by that call. Casey was honest with the counselor, telling him that he didn’t feel ready to serve at that time. Casey did tell me that he knew that it would be okay and that he would still serve a mission, even if it had to be delayed. **One thing Casey told me is that his depression had nothing to do with anxiety over going on a mission. He wanted to serve and knew it was the right thing to do. He never did pinpoint what caused his depression.**
A couple days later, on September 3, we had a conference call with our Stake President to talk about a possible delay in Casey’s mission call. Our Bishop was with us during the call. The Stake President told us that most likely Casey’s mission would be delayed 6 months to a year because of medication changes/additions he had recently had, and that he may be reassigned as a service missionary. Casey then got a blessing from our Bishop with my husband assisting. As we left our Bishop’s office together. I was sad, and Casey was too. Imagine being depressed and then being told everything you had been working so hard for wasn’t going to happen for maybe a long time, and it might not even be the same.
A lovely woman in our congregation, who I am blessed to call my friend, saw Casey’s forlorn face as he walked in the hallway after that phone call. She sat down with him and spoke to him for a long time. That afternoon, I sent her this message:
Thanks for being an angel on earth. Casey came home with a peaceful look and a smile after speaking with you. He really is so grateful you spoke to him. It will be a journey but having compassionate friends makes it easier.
She replied and said: He’s a wonderful human being and this trial is only going to teach him more about himself so he can minister better to others.
I needed her words as much as Casey did, I think.
After the update about Casey’s mission, we were a bit antsy (or maybe it was just me). Three days after the conference call, I contacted our Stake President and asked for a mission update. By that time, I felt that Casey would be better off as a service missionary. I had read about them and felt good about the idea. I asked, though, if Casey had to live at home. Things had been very hard with him at home, and I was thinking that maybe he needed to serve elsewhere for everyone’s well-being. Jad agreed with me.
The next day, on September 7, the Stake President wrote me back saying that Casey’s mission was on paused status and that his mission call updates were going to be reviewed by an apostle within the next two weeks. He also said that Casey would indeed be reassigned as a service missionary. He had found out that it was a possibility that Casey could live somewhere else, but it would have to be with family who were active members of the church who didn’t have kids in the home.
My first thought was to contact my parents and ask them if they could take Casey in. Keep in mind at this time Casey was still depressed and very hard to live with. He had also blown up at me, I believe the day before, in a way that crushed my spirits and rocked me to the core. Our relationship was really strained, and at that point I was ready for him to leave. Now, I knew before my parents answered the phone that Casey living with them probably wouldn’t be a good fit, but I think I just needed to talk to them to feel comforted about the situation.
For the next two days, Casey and I talked a lot about everything. We had a very difficult heart-to-heart about our relationship, complete with a lot of tears and then hugs as we made amends. We also talked about what a service mission would entail and talked about some things he could do while he was waiting to leave (like maybe work, take some classes, volunteer, etc). We also discussed possible people he could live with. He made some phone calls, and the consensus was that Casey would request to live with his father and great grandpa in Cedar City, Utah. I provided this information to the Stake President so he could submit it for approval.
It is kind of miraculous to me that during those two days of trying to figure everything out, Casey started to improve. He was finally on the mend, and that brought me so much hope and comfort.
September 10 and September 11 came and went. Those were the days Casey was supposed to be set apart as a missionary and then begin his home training with the Missionary Training Center (MTC). That was a bit sad, as well as other personal events that happened around that time, but we pushed through with faith.
And then, after days of checking Casey’s missionary portal multiple times a day, I finally saw some changes on September 14. There was not much there, but I did see that Casey was going to be a service missionary and he would begin his service on October 16. This was shocking since we were told his mission would likely be delayed much longer. I was a little concerned that he wouldn’t be back to his old self by then, but I had faith.
The following day, our Stake President asked Casey to submit reasons why he wanted to live in Cedar City, UT for his mission, and not at home. He and I talked about his reasons, and ultimately, Casey wanted to be near his dad and be a support to his great grandpa. He knew that it would be easier to focus on being a missionary there because staying home would mean being around friends and other distractions. He wouldn’t have as many things around him to bring worry, overwhelm, or irritability. He felt his mental health would be better in a place that was familiar but also quieter and disassociated from where his depression began. He also loved the idea of being close to a temple. I also added to the email that Jad and I felt individually that Casey should serve outside of our home (at first those feelings were from frustration, but they remained with us even after life improved).
Casey’s request to serve in Cedar City was quickly approved. I was thrilled with this arrangement. I had always hoped that Casey would be able to spend more time with his dad and that side of his family. I had even thought maybe he would go to college in Cedar City. That wasn’t going to happen, but a mission was another perfect way to accomplish the same goal.
Just a couple days later, on September 17, Casey gave his missionary farewell talk. He gave it several weeks before leaving, but it just worked out better scheduling wise.
Here is the recording of the talk that Casey did that afternoon:
I said this on Facebook about the experience:
My dear first born gave his missionary farewell talk at church today. His mission is going to look a little different than originally planned and he explains all about that as well as his faith in Christ and his desire to serve the Lord. I was wiping my eyes the whole talk. Afterwards, he was overwhelmed and teary. We hugged for a long time. He will always be my baby no matter how old he gets. I love him so much and am so proud of him. (I didn’t add this to the FB post, but one of my church friends touched my arm while I was hugging Casey. She told me later in the bathroom that when she touched me she could literally feel my love for Casey through my arm. That was such a touching and profound compliment. I don’t ever want to forget it.)
Casey is so grateful for all those who have been such a support to him. He was blown away by all the sweet comments he got today as well. One of my friends also brought him warm peanut butter chocolate brownies tonight. He is so loved. I’m so grateful for his angels on earth.
Three days after his talk, we got more instructions from our Stake President (we were so grateful for him, by the way. He had been doing so much on Casey’s behalf). We were told to get a plane ticket for Casey anytime, as long as it was before October 31, and to establish a doctor for him in Cedar City.
I don’t like to delay anything, so the next day on September 21, we found him a doctor and made a doctor’s appointment, and also got a plane ticket. Casey wanted to fly out October 16, the day that was originally showing on his missionary portal. It was a little strange that his missionary portal was never updated with any other information. Proselyting missionaries have tons of instruction and information in their portals, but service missionaries do not.
One thing that did help was being able to speak with the service mission leaders in Raleigh as a sort of service mission orientation. We spoke with them on the phone on October 1. Casey initially didn’t think it was necessary, but we all left the call excited. It was so cool to find out some of the things Casey would be able to do as a service missionary, and also that starting in January, he would be able to go out proselyting sometimes with the regular missionaries.
It didn’t take long for Casey to start throwing himself into preparing to leave for his mission. The things that he had no desire to do before, he began doing willingly. He started going through all of his stuff, organizing things, getting rid of things, etc. I was proud of him and happy that he was excited.
We did our last family outing on October 7. I wanted it to be a nice fall activity and decided to go to Camp Chestnut Ridge. I feel like the fact it was our last family day hung over our heads – well, at least mine.
Things started to get more real about a week before Casey was set to fly out. On October 9, I wrote:
Exactly one week from today we will be having our last dinner together as a family before Casey flies out to his mission. I am so excited for him but will miss him terribly.
On October 12, Jad took a day off work so we could spend time with Casey. I wrote this about the day:
Jad took a day off work so we could spend the day with Casey. We had breakfast at NC Jelly Doughnuts and then headed to Greensboro to the International Civil Rights museum. If you have never been there, please go at least once in your life. I had tears behind my eyes the whole time and felt such a reverence for the brave souls who stood up for justice and equality sometimes at the cost of their lives. After that we went to Sams Club to have lunch and shop for Casey’s open house on Sunday.
Two days later, we had Eve’s birthday party with friends. It was still two weeks before her birthday, but she wanted to have one birthday party while Casey was still home. He gave her a Princess Peach Amiibo for her birthday.
October 15 was Casey’s last Sunday at church with us. Since he wasn’t going to be giving his farewell talk that day (since he already gave it), I asked him a couple weeks before if he would like to sing a duet with me. I was so happy when he said yes. We decided to sing his favorite song, “A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief.” We don’t have a recording of it. We did try to record it the next day, but Casey decided it wasn’t good enough to post and we would just have it for ourselves. It was so special to sing with my baby. He was emotional at the end. I gave him a squeeze before we sat down. It was a very full day. You can read all about it from my Facebook post the next day:
Yesterday was a very special yet exhausting day (emotionally and physically). It was Casey’s last day at church and last full day in NC.
At church, he and I sang “A Poor Wayfaring man of Grief” together. It’s his favorite hymn and we wanted to sing together as a way for him to say farewell as well as share a bit of himself with everyone.
After church Eve went up to Jad and gave him this giant hug where she sobbed in his shoulder saying shewas going to miss Casey and didn’t want him to leave. It was so precious and sweet. The only thing that calmed her was realizing she left snot all over her dad’s shirt, which made her laugh. Soon after, we rushed home to finish preparing for his open house from 2-5 (Jad and I had already stayed up until after midnight the night before to clean and prepare but we had to clean some and get the food out). We were ready right before 2 (phew).
For 3.5 hours straight, friends, family, and church family came to visit with Casey and wish him well. Many brought cards and gifts too, for which he is very grateful. Casey is an introvert so big crowds drain him. It was hard, but he felt so loved and supported by all who came by. He was also happy to have notes written by friends and loved ones in a little notebook. One of our church friends, Kay, touched my heart as she said she admires Casey so much because he is kind, a quality we don’t see as much nowadays. I’m so happy that we had this event for him and that so many came to wish him well.
We had just about half an hour to tidy up our very messy house, haha, before our stake president came over to set Casey apart as a missionary. First, he spoke to us, then we said a prayer (which Casey asked me to offer). I cried of course. Then we read some scriptures about serving the Lord and the qualities one needs to do so. We also all gave him a piece of advice. Here is what we said:
Rigel – if you listen to other service missionaries that have been there for a bit, think about what they post and learn from them
Mandy – try to find one thing to love about each person you serve and pray to find something if it’s hard
Kamren – be good
Eve – think about your own family when you are with other families and feel the spirit
Jad – hold onto your testimony of Book of Mormon and Joseph smith – gospel is true even if all the people aren’t
Finally, Casey was set apart. It was such a sacred experience. We all hugged him after that, with Kamren giving him the most tender and longest hug. Kamren had been quietly crying that day as well. Casey then put on his missionary name tag and we took photos.
The moment our stake president left, Casey’s best friend from school and his family showed up to eat dinner with us. Thankfully Jad had prepared most of dinner the night before. We were completely exhausted by then but were so glad to have our friends over to eat our last dinner at home with Casey.
And then everyone left and it was quiet. There was a reverent, anxious, and somber mood in the room as we all sat down to sing a hymn, read scriptures, and do family prayer for the last time in the same room for two years.
After the kids went to bed, I felt like going upstairs to give Casey a good night hug for the last time. He was journaling so I didn’t get to “tuck him in” but I did get a good night hug and kiss and that was enough for me.
So much love all around for my first born. 🥰
The next day, October 16, was the day my first born was going to leave our family to serve a 2-year mission for the Lord. He spent most of the morning packing. Seeing his suitcases ready to go was so hard.
I presented him with a gift that morning. It was a piece of bumblebee decor and on the back I pasted some thoughts I wrote in this blog post years ago: More than just Terms of Endearment | Making Life a Bliss Complete. Bumblebee was his nickname when he was a baby. I accidentally put the words in the back upside down, but Casey loved it anyway and said it was okay and that I didn’t have to fix it. 😉
Casey also spent some time with Asher. I had noticed that as his mission drew near, that he was spending as much time with Asher as possible, looking at him more tenderly. I knew that he would miss his baby brother with all his heart.
I wrote more about this bittersweet day after we all took Casey to the airport that night:
My first born, Elder Casey Lewis, just boarded a plane to begin his 2-year service mission. There have been many tears and there will continue to be. We know he is doing something wonderful and we are so proud of him. Adjusting to life without him will be so incredibly difficult, though.
To tell a little about our day, I helped Casey finish last minute packing. We also shipped two giant boxes and picked up his siblings from school early. They were so thrilled to have time with Casey where they could play video games and a card game. He and I also recorded an a cappella version of the song we sang at church yesterday so we could remember it.
We were all starting to get sad as we loaded the van with his bags and left at 4:30. We had dinner at Bojangles, drove to the airport, and then took a sad walk to the terminal. After Casey checked his bags, everyone got hugs and pictures. It was so hard to let him go up those stairs and out of sight. One nice moment happened as he did, though. A couple saw him leaving us and they started asking him questions. He got to start sharing the gospel from that first moment. It gave me some comfort.
Walking to the van was really hard. We were all in tears. I prayed aloud for Casey before we drove off. Goodness, that was an emotional prayer. We were all sobbing. Rigel wanted to watch his flight take off but it wasn’t leaving for over an hour. Kamren sat in Casey’s seat on the way home to feel close to him and Rigel moved over to sit next to Eve to comfort her as she cried a lot on the way home.
I told them that Casey had left behind some of his stuffed animals. They were happy they could have a piece of him with them always, and they all took at least one.
We love you, Casey!
I also want to express my sincere gratitude to Casey’s dad and great grandpa for taking him in for the next two years. It helps to know that Casey will be in a place where he will be safe and well loved.
That is the whole story of Casey preparing to go, and leaving for his mission.
He has now been gone exactly a month, and I think this has been the longest month of my life, truly. It feels like Casey has been gone so much longer than he has. To give you a little idea how I was feeling the first few days after he left, I wrote this on October 19:
I’m really missing my boy today. I miss two things the most: being able to talk to him every day about anything and everything, and seeing him interact with his baby brother.
I know it will get easier but it’s really hard right now. I sure love him.
I had a conversation with a good friend of mine that day too. She always wants to know how I’m really doing, and it means so much. I said this to her:
I’m feeling pretty sad and missing being able to know how he is and what he’s doing. He doesn’t talk much so I know I won’t hear from him nearly as much as I want to. But I know he’s doing fine.
Speaking about the other kids I said: They are sad he’s gone. It is really hard on Eve and Kamren. Rigel is quieter about it. Asher probably doesn’t realize but I show him pics and videos of Casey.
I was suffering without my oldest son, and it had only been three days. But then we had our first video chat with him that night and it healed my broken heart. I wrote:
We had a video chat with Casey and it was so good for my soul!
That first week and half was the hardest by far. I was sad a lot, had tears in my eyes a lot, and just wanted so badly to talk to Casey and hug him and look into his blue eyes. It has thankfully gotten a bit easier over time.
On October 25, I wrote a little something for our church so they could know how Casey is and what he’s up to. It said:
Elder Casey Lewis was set apart as a service missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints on October 15,2023 and set off for his mission in Cedar City, Utah the following day. He is staying busy joyfully helping his great grandpa around his house, and serving the Bishop’s Storehouse and the Family Search Center. He also just got ordained as a temple worker in the Cedar City Temple. Elder Lewis will also be making toys for needy children at the Happy Factory and volunteering with local children’s musical theater. He is really enjoying getting to know the other service missionaries and loves his mission so far. He will return from his mission in October 2025. His Dad is Jad Al-Bjaly and Mother is Mandy Al-Bjaly, they are in the Mebane Ward in the Durham, NC Stake.
Every time Casey has told me about something he is doing, I have lit up like a Christmas tree with pride and joy. I am tearing up just thinking about it.
On October 28, we had an oddly warm day and I was able to put Asher in one of Casey’s baby outfits. I wrote on Facebook:
I didn’t think Asher would ever be able to wear this outfit but we had a very hot day on Saturday. I almost cried when I put him in it because it was Casey’s.
I have noticed that I am more sentimental than normal about Asher using and wearing Casey’s baby stuff. I am so glad that I saved my favorite clothes, toys, and blankets of Casey’s. It makes me feel close to him.
I was thrilled beyond belief to receive a mission update email from Casey on October 29 (it’s still the only one he has done, ha). Here it is:
Hey everybody!,
The past two weeks have certainly been interesting and a really good experience.The first week was spent meeting other service missionaries and working with Elder and Sister Nakken (my service mission leaders) to figure out a schedule that will work and that would allow me to serve in ways that would be fulling to me. On my first Wednesday as a service missionary Elder Price invited me to go out to the Bishops storehouse and work there for a couple of hours. For those who don’t know what it looks like to serve there it is essentially a small grocery store and a warehouse full of food. When serving there you have to stock, bag and take out orders, and clean. It’s really fun and pretty much all of the service missionaries work there on Wednesdays and saturdays. Also that day and every wednesday there is district council which is where we go over the goals from last week and have a small devotional which was pretty nerve racking the first time as i knew pretty much nobody but it is really nice to have those discussions with the other missionaries. The next big thing was that I got to go to a YSA devotional with Elder Neil A Anderson on that sunday which was super cool and it was nice to see him more as a person and not just a figure in the church. He was really personable and funny and he talked about the conference talks from the first presidency from this last conference. This last monday I got to go to the Zone Conference — there are currently two zone conferences that take place for the service missionaries and one for the teaching missionaries but that will change in january– and it was really cool to meet all the other service missionaries from the saint george mission. The topic was how we can become more like Christ and how important repentance is in our role as missionaries. Tuesday I was interviewed and ordained as a ordinance worker in the temple and that was a great experience as I know how great of an opportunity it is for me and my personal growth as well as what a great service it is to the temple patrons. That evening I worked in the Stake family history center from 6-9 pm and it was really fun. Tuesday evenings are normally when they have youth groups come in so they need workers during that time. This service opportunity helps me get experience and knowledge as well as helping others to find their love for family history, I once again worked at the Bishop’s storehouse and I will be doing that every week Wednesdays and Saturdays. My favorite thing so far was working in the temple on Thursday (I’ll Also be working every Tuesday) . There’s something special about going to the temple as a worker and it’s nice to have no distractions and just to be completely away from the world. I’m still working on completely finishing my schedule but what I have been doing so far is certainly fullfing.Also i have a companion named Elder Price. He is really cool. I don’t have a picture of him or any pictures at all actually which I will remady otherwise my mom will end me. But anyways it’s been a great start to my mission and I am really excited for all the other opportunities I will receive. I was asked by my new bishop if I wanted to perform or give a talk so I gave a talk today and sang with the choir so I ended up doing both. That’s all for now everybody. Thank you all for your love and support. It’s been very nice to know that I have so many people supporting me back home. – Elder Lewis
My first reaction to his email, beyond being so happy to get one was, wow, my son doesn’t like to use punctuation. Then I laughed because he said I would “end him” if he didn’t send me pictures. I laughed because it was only kind of true. My response to his email was in part:
I will end you, lol? What a reputation you are giving me haha! But seriously, send pictures!
I was definitely thinking about Casey on Halloween night. One reason is because Asher was wearing his pumpkin costume from when he was a baby.
As a bonus, that night Casey also sent me his first picture from his mission.
I was ecstatic and also laughed! Here was my reaction:
Casey Lewis just sent me the first picture he has taken since starting his mission. Can you tell he’s not much of a picture taker? 😛
These are toy cars he helped make at the Happy Factory yesterday. They will go to underprivileged children. He said they are very fun to make.
Casey promised me more photos next week, maybe even some of himself ha.
On November 7, Casey did his first two Facebook posts. I was so proud of him. They even had pictures! On one of the posts, he said “there’s a picture mom.” I was over the moon.
I have only gotten one more picture since, on November 8, but it has made me happy to get any picture I can.
I also was thrilled to get a photo from Casey’s dad’s cousin, McCall, on November 10, showing me a picture of Casey with a new haircut. Goodness, I smiled. It made my day. I mean, look at that smile!
We do a video chat with Casey once a week. Normally he talks about what has been going on with him, and then he talks to everyone else one by one. I have cherished the times that he has stayed on the chat with me and talked to me longer than everyone else. It makes me feel special. Just this past Saturday, after everyone walked into Lidl to shop, I stayed in the car and talked to him as long as I could.
There is a light in Casey’s eyes that brings joyful tears down my cheeks. I have seen such a change in him in such a short time.
I am so grateful that he’s happy. I’m so grateful that he is bonding with his dad’s side of the family and that he’s making new friends. I love how he talks about his missionary companion and other fellow service missionaries. I am filled with such peace as he tells me how much he adores serving in the House of the Lord.
Casey has never been much of a texter, phone caller, picture taker or picture sender. He’s super introverted and only communicates when he feels it’s absolutely necessary. That was really hard for me when he first left because I felt this huge need to talk to him every day. It took quite a while for me to realize that’s not realistic for a busy service missionary, and it’s also not my son’s personality. But I have definitely seen effort on his part. The few pictures he has sent mean so much to me. The email he sent and the social media posts – I know he’s doing that more for me than anyone else.
I think about Casey every day, multiple times a day. I do not worry about him because I know he’s being well taken care of and he is being protected while he is on the Lord’s errands.
I still wish I could talk to him every day, but I’m getting better at not texting as much. I can wait patiently and I can settle for little sentences here and there until our video chat once a week.
I am 100% confident that Casey is where he needs to be. Is it hard for me and for our family not to have him around? Yes!
It’s hard because our family never feels complete at mealtimes, on family outings, at church, in the car, during scripture study and family home evening, or any other time – because he’s not with us. It’s hard because I don’t get his amazing hugs or hear him playing piano anymore. It’s hard because his baby brother no longer has his biggest brother with him to nurture the strong bond they have. It’s hard because we no longer have someone who can babysit or run errands when life it too crazy and we need help, or a break. It’s hard because we are missing his testimony, his wisdom, his wit, and his perspectives on life. It’s hard for so many reasons.
Yes, it’s so hard, but it’s so worth it! I think because of the distance, we all have come to appreciate and love him even more than before. The kids are always talking about him and want to make/write things for him. We have sent him many things already, from letters to packages. We will continue to do so because it brings us joy as we bring him joy.
Casey told me recently that he is having some homesickness. I have been sending him videos and pictures of our family to help with that and am looking at some ideas of things to send him to help him feel closer to us and home. He suggested the other day that I make a cookbook of family recipes. I have been working on that for him.
I am a mom who is really invested in my kids. I teach them to be self-reliant, but I also want to be involved in helping them make right decisions, feel comfortable in their surroundings, succeed in their endeavors, understand their emotions, and grow spiritually, all the while showing them as much love as I can. I know I’m not a perfect mom – I’m not nearly as patient as I should be, and I have high expectations for my children.
But what I have realized about myself since my first child has grown up and left home, is that I truly adore and cherish my children. They make up so much of my heart and my reason for living. Even with all of the frustrations that come with parenting, I wouldn’t trade my time with my children for anything. I have been a mom almost half of my life, and I can’t imagine my life without any of my babies.
Casey is my first born, and I am so grateful that I have had the opportunity to raise him for the first 18 years of his life. I will be his mother forever, and I feel so much tenderness for him when I speak to him and hear how he is doing. My motherly influence is changing, but our relationship will only grow over time. His mission is going to bless his life and his family’s lives more than we can imagine.
We have now made it through the first month of Casey’s mission. There are 23 months to go. Each and every day during those months, our whole family will continue to think of and pray for him. We will not stop missing him until the day he comes home, but we will be his biggest cheerleaders as he continues to serve God and His children. I’m grateful for the example Casey is setting for his siblings and for all of us.
I thank God above to be the mother of Elder Casey Scott Lewis.
It took me far too long to fall asleep last night. My heart was heavy with many things, but I finally went to sleep, hoping and praying that Asher, our six-month-old, actually slept well.
I found myself being suddenly awakened during the 3:00 hour. I could hear movement in my bathroom. Then a light went on, and something dropped a little too loudly.
I knew it was Eve, my six-year-old daughter. I was barely awake, but I dashed into the bathroom to try to quiet her and find out why she was there. I could hear what I dreaded most too – the baby waking up. Eve told me that she had planned to lay out the soft sleeping pad we have and sleep in our closet the rest of the night. This didn’t surprise me at all, and though this normally was a welcomed action, this time I whispered a little too harshly and told her to go back to her room.
Jad took our baby, Asher, who was indeed awake, so I could go back to sleep. I, of course, didn’t, because I usually can’t when I know the baby is up. Instead, I sat at the edge of the bed on the verge of tears, so, tired and feeling bad about sending Eve away.
A few minutes later, Jad gently placed the baby back in his bassinet. That was the fastest he had ever gone back to sleep. I should have felt relieved at that point- ready to drift back off to dreamland.
But I just lay there. I was thinking about the little girl – my little girl – who I had sent upstairs feeling unloved. I felt prompted to go to her. I hesitated, but only for a moment. I knew what I had to do.
It wasn’t easy to go up the stairs with my sore knee that I had hurt in a fall before church the day before, and then avoid the clutter in the long hallway, but I was nonetheless drawn to Eve’s room.
I knelt by her bed, caressed her cheek, and gave her a kiss. She opened her eyes and tearfully told me she was sorry. I apologized to her, saying I had actually been the one in the wrong.
She explained that she had had a bad dream and that she felt safer being around us, her parents. She knew she wouldn’t have any more bad dreams if she were with us. That melted my heart. I knew all along that was probably why she had come down. We said a prayer together, asking that Heavenly Father give her peace and comfort, and restful sleep until morning.
I told her I would stay with her until she fell back asleep. I tucked her in, stroked her hair, gave her a doll, adjusted her pillow, and just stayed next to her, holding her hand until she drifted back to sleep. At one point she told me she was okay and that I could go, because she knew I was tired, but I felt the desire to stay with my sweet girl until she was again at rest. It didn’t take long.
I felt so much better knowing that I had mended her little broken heart. Sleep did not come easily after that, but I was so grateful when little Asher slept until after 6am. I felt that was a little blessing that came to me from Heaven because I had listened to that spiritual prompting just a few hours before.
As I am writing this, Eve just walked into the office and gave me a hug, thanking me for coming to her last night. Then a little while later, during breakfast, she told her brothers how sweet I was to go to her and help her go back to sleep last night.
Imagine if I hadn’t listened to that prompting?
I decided to write about this experience because I want to remember that the Still Small Voice reached out to me and prompted me to do the right thing by my little girl. I am so grateful for the Holy Ghost who helps me right my wrongs and be a better person every day.
I’m also so grateful for my sweet Eve who is so loving, forgiving, and tender-hearted. She has so much love in her heart, and I hope to be as pure in my love as she is.
As a parent, I need to make sure that I am always aware of what my children need from me to feel safe, happy, and thriving. I’m grateful for the lesson I learned early this morning.
If I had a genie that could grant me three wishes, one of the things I would wish for is that our society would stop making every decision by every individual or entity political. That may sound like a strange wish, but I have seen that as we do that, our opinions and views are often fueled by anger, bias, and lack of information. We often forget to be empathetic, and we instead have an us vs. them, or victim vs. villain mentality.
It happens all the time, even in movies. It’s happening right now with the new Pixar children’s film Lightyear that came out in theaters on June 17, 2022. I am seeing so many angry articles about the “woke liberal agenda” and how Tim Allen has been so wronged by not being cast. I’m seeing people unkindly express satisfaction that the movie isn’t making as much money as expected, and assume the movie has “tanked” due to the same-sex kiss in it.
Now, I have been trying for several years to fight the desire to have knee jerk reactions. It still happens sometimes, but I really do strive to search for unbiased truth as well as search inwardly for empathy as I put myself in other people’s shoes.
When I first heard about this controversy over a short kiss by a same-sex married couple in the film, my initial reaction was that the media hypes everything up into a controversy that it can, and thus can’t be taken at face value. I also shared my thoughts that Disney choosing to represent other types of couples tastefully in their films is completely understandable. I also said that there was likely a good reason for Tim Allen not being cast as Buzz rather than it being political differences with Disney.
After the initial conversation about the movie, I looked on IMDB, Common Sense Media, and Kids in Mind, which are all sites I visit to help me decide which movies and shows I will watch, and let my kids watch. I was curious what these sites had to say. It was really interesting to me that not one of these platforms showed any concern over the same-sex kiss. IMDB’s parent guide doesn’t even mention it. Kids in Mind does mention it but rated the movie at a 1 for Sex/Nudity (meaning very mild). Common Sense Media does its own ratings, as well as parent and child reviews. It rated its Sex/Romance/Nudity topic as mild and recommended the movie for ages 6 and up. Kids and parents who rated the movie gave it four stars and the overall age recommendation was 8-9. Speaking of star ratings, I checked Rotten Tomatoes and the critics and audience overall love the film as well. It would seem that Lightyear is a well-done movie that’s worth all the years of effort by many talented individuals.
Another interesting thing to me is that I haven’t seen one friend on my Facebook news feed talk about seeing the movie and being disgusted by it – not one. Curious, I did a search on Facebook today on the movie and saw article after article how Tim Allen was snubbed because he’s a conservative and how the kiss somehow was the most horrible decision Disney has ever made. Anytime I saw a post from a parent who took his/her children to the movie, though, I read nothing but positive reviews at how amazing it was. I didn’t see one post from an actual person that said the movie made them or their children uncomfortable. That’s not what the media is saying. Interesting…
I also took the time to research why Tim Allen was not chosen to voice the part of Buzz in the movie. I will be honest, I wasn’t too thrilled he wasn’t cast – I mean, his voice is iconic! But, after I read the reasoning behind it from the actual director’s mouth, it made sense. Here is the actual reason why Tim Allen was not cast, and it makes perfect sense to me.
Director Angus MacLane told Vanity Fair, “Tim’s version of Buzz is a little goofier and is a little dumber, and so he is the comic relief. In this film, Buzz is the action hero. He’s serious and ambitious and funny, but not in a goofy way that would undercut the drama. Chris Evans has the gravitas and that movie-star quality that our character needed to separate him and the movie from Tim’s version of the toy in Toy Story.”
As far as the allegation that Disney has canceled Tim Allen, the reality is that he’s filming a whole show based on the movie “The Santa Clause.” He is still very much involved with Disney, and he has not provided any negative comments on Disney choosing another actor for Lightyear either.
Now as for this infamous kiss, it’s just Disney being overly political, right? Actually, the producer of Lightyear, Galyn Susman, said this: “It’s important to show all of the wonderful people that are around us and represent everybody, including same-sex couples, in our film. Representation is huge for us, and we want to make connections with as many people as possible. Alisha and her wife have a relationship that lasts an entire lifetime. We don’t have enough movies that show relationships that last an entire life, and that’s aspirational.”
Uzo Aduba, the actress that played the character Alisha, said this: “It’s incredible, and a real hats off to Disney and Pixar for having that kiss be a part of this story. The kiss is a greeting and a gesture of love that is tender. It does establish who they are as people, but it is not the singular identifier for who either of them are. Seeing a loving gay couple in a meaningful way is important for everybody.”
These statements are based in love and inclusiveness and are particularly poignant when you consider how few happy parental/marital relationships there are in Disney films.
Interestingly the kiss had initially been removed from the movie but was added back in after LGBTQ+ Pixar employees wrote a letter expressing dismay that Disney nearly always keeps same-sex affection out of their films. So, it sounds to me that Disney is not “woke” like it is being described. It sounds like the opposite, but it is working towards healthy compromise. And PS, can we stop using derogatory terms when describing different viewpoints? It’s kind of rude.
This background information and research is helpful to me, and hopefully to you, but it’s not all that I feel that I need to say.
I am a devout Christian (a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints), and along with my husband, strive to be the absolute best parent I can and to raise my children to be good, righteous people. I want them to be better than I am and to treat people better than I did growing up.
As I have been pondering over this Disney Pixar controversy, my heart is heavy. I have to wonder why so often we forget the humanity of others and only care about our own existence and our own perspectives.
Anytime I take a stance on anything, I ponder a lot about my own beliefs and what Jesus would want me to think, feel, say, or do. I have found that in many cases, Christians think so much about what they feel is right and wrong, they forget to treat others, speak to others, and show love to others the way Jesus emulated every day of His mortal life.
When people get this riled up about a simple, quick same-sex kiss in a montage of a lifetime of devotion and love, what are they angry about? What are they afraid of? What are they trying to protect their kids from?
I have seen people make comments on these politically charged articles saying that anything of a sexual nature does not belong in a children’s movie. What do those people mean by that? If they really mean what they say, then all romantic kisses and other forms of romantic affection should be removed from all children’s movies if the kiss in this instance is considered sexual. But that isn’t really what they mean, is it?
I was thinking about all the Disney movies I grew up watching to see which ones actually do include sexuality beyond tender and simple romantic kisses. One of them sticks out to me the most. It’s rated G and it came out in 1996. It is a movie I have never let my kids watch even though I did. Of a sexual nature it includes:
A woman dancing sensually in real life as well as in the lustful thoughts of a man as he sings.
A man touching and sniffing the hair of a woman without her consent.
An entire song about raging lust comparable to a burning fire.
A man threatening a woman with death if she does not succumb to him sexually.
THAT is sexuality. And that is the only time I have seen it in a Disney/Pixar film to a point that I wouldn’t want my kids to watch it. That movie is “The Hunchback of Notre Dame.” You can literally feel Frollo’s lust permeating out of him over and over again. I think it’s wrong to market a film to all audiences that includes all of those things in addition to murder, abuse, attempted murder and more.
So many Disney movies are full of immoral and evil things and yet nobody bats an eye because they are children’s movies that teach good lessons in the end. That’s good enough, right?
But, then a few years ago the media started a controversy about a “gay moment” in the new Beauty and the Beast live action film. So many Christian people boycotted that film. Well, Jad and I decided to see it first and see how we felt. There was nothing in that movie that made us uncomfortable at all. There were a couple silly moments that encompassed the supposed “gay moment,” but the movie was an absolute masterpiece and our whole family loves it. We have watched it many times.
The same thing happened again when Cruella came out. There was an outcry because one of the main characters was gay. Cruella is PG13, so not a kids’ movie, but regardless of rating, the character had no romantic relationship and there was no mention of his sexuality. He just owned a fashion boutique and loved making clothes, which if that makes him gay, that’s actually an insensitive stereotype, but anyway…
And now we have Lightyear.
My question for everyone who is boycotting Disney over this: why does it bother you?
Is it because you don’t want children to know that there are different types of couples in this world, or you just don’t want them learning it from a movie? They will find out there are same-sex couples in this world because they will see it at school, at the park, at stores, etc. That is out of your control. What is in your control is how you teach your children about same-sex attraction and marriage. You could teach your kids to ostracize and be disgusted by same-sex couples, and thus the children of those same-sex couples. Perhaps the more Christlike option, though, is to sit down with your children and explain to them that God created and loves all of His children. Though most of the time, a man and a woman will fall in love and get married, some of God’s children love people of the same sex and they marry each other. He loves them just as much as He loves the rest of us (and you can go from there if you see fit).
I wish that I had had that conversation as a child. I am pained at how I must have hurt the two different teenage boys who confided in me in high school that they were gay and I scoffed and said that nobody is actually gay. All the times I said, “That’s so gay,” or said other insensitive things because it was taboo at the time to talk about the fact that not everybody in this world is heterosexual makes me feel so ashamed.
Parents don’t usually raise their kids thinking that they will be LGBTQ+, but it happens a lot more than we think. My own beloved brother, one of the most fantastic and wonderful people I have ever known, is a part of this community. Because of that, I have always been sensitive to the possibility that one of my children, nieces or nephews, or friends of my children may also be a part of that community. I would never want anyone to feel scared of sharing who they are with me because of how I talk about or treat LGBTQ+ individuals.
I must ask, what are we saying to the LGBTQ+ community when we are outraged over a very short kiss of tenderness from a loving married couple that just happens to be same sex? It sounds like we are saying that even though same-sex marriage is legal, we are disgusted by it and thus by the people engaged in it. We are saying we do not want our kids to be around or befriend same-sex people, their spouses, or their children. We are saying we want to protect our children – hide our children, from an unnatural way of life. We are saying that our comfort level in watching a movie is more important than the equal treatment and representation of other populations. Mostly we are saying we do not see members of the LGBTQ+ community as human beings and beloved children of God who have feelings, needs, and struggles just like we do. Whether we think we are saying these things or not, we are.
Maybe those of you who are upset and angry about this movie haven’t considered how your reaction would hurt others. Maybe you also haven’t thought about the good that can come from this movie for LGBTQ+ families.
Imagine if you were the child of a same-sex couple and you never saw two moms or two dads represented in a show or film. How would you feel? I imagine I would feel sad and hurt. Imagine if you were in a same-sex relationship of loyalty and love and people thought that only a mother and a father, or a single parent, or no parent is acceptable for a children’s film. Imagine realizing that people are more comfortable with abusive, kidnapping, or murderous parents/stepparents than a relationship like yours in a children’s film. That would be really hurtful.
But then imagine if for the first time in a Disney movie there was a clip, a really short one, but a clip nonetheless, of the beauty, love, devotion, and loyalty that can come from a same-sex marriage. Might you feel like you have been seen, been heard, been appreciated? (If you don’t think that this can exist, I would implore you to get to know a same-sex couple and open your heart to them and their experiences.)
I completely understand that many people’s religious beliefs do not align with the idea of same-sex marriage, but those same people’s religious beliefs also should not align with persecuting, ostracizing or judging those who are in those relationships. In this country we believe that all people are created equal and that we all have the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. It’s not just for those who think or live the same way we do.
As a Christian, I do not feel the Holy Ghost with me when I am fueled by anger, resentment, judgment, fear, or any other negative emotion. I do feel His presence, though, when I am fueled by love, compassion, empathy, and a desire to listen and understand. Thus, I cannot listen to the voices who tell me that I need to be outraged, that I need to be against something that would hurt other human beings with the same God-given rights and privileges as I have.
I wrote this to hopefully inspire others to see another perspective and take this movie as an opportunity to teach your kids about same-sex attraction in a loving and compassionate way. That is the good that can come from it. Don’t let the screaming media take you away from who and what matters. The love we have for each other as children of God should always be at the forefront. We are infinitely more the same than we could ever be different.
I will leave you with words from Elder Dale G Renlund, a man of God and apostle of Christ:
“Jesus Christ exemplified what it means to do justly and to love mercy. He freely associated with sinners, treating them honorably and with respect. He taught the joy of keeping God’s commandments and sought to lift rather than condemn those who struggled. He did denounce those who faulted Him for ministering to people they deemed unworthy. Such self-righteousness offended Him and still does. (See Luke 15:1-2)
“To be Christlike, a person does justly, behaving honorably with both God and other people. A just person is civil in words and action and recognizes that differences in outlook or belief do not preclude genuine kindness and friendship. Individuals who do justly ‘will not have a mind to injure one another, but to live peaceably’ (Mosiah 4:13) one with another.
“To be Christlike, a person loves mercy. People who love mercy are not judgmental; they manifest compassion for others, especially for those who are less fortunate; they are gracious, kind, and honorable. These individuals treat everyone with love and understanding, regardless of characteristics such as race, gender, religious affiliation, sexual orientation, socioeconomic status, and tribal, clan, or national differences. These are superseded by Christlike love.”
Today is an anniversary of a very important date. Normally when we think of anniversaries, we think of a happy occasion. Sadly, today’s anniversary is anything but happy. Today, January 6, 2022, is the one-year anniversary of the horrifying attack on our nation’s Capitol by armed insurrectionists who violently attempted to overthrow the peaceful counting of electoral votes and thus the peaceful transfer of power to a new president of the United States.
One year ago, as I heard about this, I wrote this on Facebook:
It’s getting very scary in our country. I feel sick to my stomach. Why are people acting like animals? Where is our humanity? What has happened to decency and ethics? We are better than this, America!
I wrote two other posts that day. Here is one I wrote:
Let me just say emphatically that you cannot justify wrong by bringing up other wrong. Wrong is wrong. Own it. Don’t justify it. If you love peace, be peaceful. If you are disgusted by past acts of violence, still be peaceful. Set the example and be a light. That’s how we make positive change.
Why did I write that? Well, it’s because people were immediately downplaying the horrifying events of that day, saying that other events that had happened the past summer regarding some destructive protests were just as bad or worse. I learned a new word not long after that called “whataboutism.” It’s when you ignore, justify, or deflect from a current horrible situation by bringing up another horrible situation performed by people of an unrelated, often opposing group. It doesn’t work in relationships, and it doesn’t work regarding the insurrection.
My thoughts, as well as the thoughts of so many, were running rampant that day. My thoughts went back to a very powerful talk given by President Dallin H. Oaks in October 2020, called “Love Your Enemies.” This quote was particularly poignant on January 6, and I posted it with a refreshed testimony of modern-day prophets and apostles:
“[Obeying the laws of the land] …also means that we peacefully accept the results of elections. We will not participate in the violence threatened by those disappointed with the outcome. In a democratic society we always have the opportunity and the duty to persist peacefully until the next election.”
It’s like he knew…
A friend of mine argued about this post saying that it was actually Antifa that stormed the Capitol (People often incorrectly define Antifa as a domestic terrorist group when in fact it is a movement devoted to anti-fascism and anti-racism). She definitely wasn’t the only one who thought that, though. It was a strange theory – that the individuals dressed up as, speaking as, and acting as Trump supporters were actually not who they said they were, but were just trying to make pro-Trump people look bad.
But, that was not the truth – not even close. The day after the breech of the Capitol, and beyond, the identities of the insurrectionists came into play. The first was the infamous horned who was in many pictures of that day. I wrote this Facebook post on January 7:
I am a huge supporter of facts and truth-finding. When I hear an accusation, I research it. Here are just two articles, among many, that identify the horned man from the Capitol yesterday. He is Jake Angeli and a popular member of QAnon. Hopefully this helps bring light to those who were using this man as a reason to believe that Antifa stormed the Capitol yesterday. He isn’t shy about it, but very proud of his membership in QAnon.
The lady who was shot and killed yesterday was also a supporter of QAnon. Ashli Babbit tweeted the day before she died: “Nothing will stop us. they can try and try and try but the storm is here and it is descending upon DC in less than 24 hours…dark to light.” Here is an article more about her: Ashli Babbitt Retweeted Lin Wood the Day She Died | Law&Crime (lawandcrime.com)
It can be hard to accept truth when it shatters some of your own ideals and loyalties. My heart hurts for those who didn’t want this to be true. Nobody wanted this to happen or be true, except those who did it. America is hurting. This isn’t about parties or politics. It’s about human decency. May we take this experience and learn from it.
I had become an avid advocate for the truth months before, during election season, as I read and heard so many inflammatory things in articles, in the news, in debates, in social media, etc. That conviction in me was renewed after the events of January 6. I didn’t jump to conclusions and make angry accusations with no proof. No – my heart was hurting, and I just wanted the truth because the truth brings peace and clarity. And when I shared my findings, I did so out of a place of responsibility and love with a desire to enlighten as I had been enlightened. I still have that motivation when I post and always will.
I have realized that there are many different types of people when it comes to truth. There are the people who don’t want to know what’s going on so don’t engage in truth-finding at all; the people who think they are getting truth from their chosen news sources but don’t do any fact-checking and can thus be easily fooled; the people who keep searching until they find “truth” that supports their narrative; and the people who really want to know the absolute truth no matter what that means for their current views and loyalties. And then there’s everything in between.
I have been a little bit of all of these in my life. At this point, I feel very strongly that the last one is the most responsible and helpful, and adopting that form of finding truth has changed my life for the better.
The first Sunday after the insurrection, January 9, my family was watching a long-time program put on by my church called “Music and the Spoken Word.” In that particular episode, the spoken message was all about truth-finding. It was such a breath of fresh air and brought peace to my soul. I was even happier when I saw the published article. I shared it for all to read: Music and the Spoken Word: Seek out the true and trustworthy – Church News (thechurchnews.com)
I knew that my blog didn’t reach that many, but I truly hoped that my post would reach people and bring positive change. Much to my chagrin, that didn’t happen. Social media (including posts from my friends) was still overwhelmingly rampant with lies, conspiracy theories, and false accusations, as well as loud cries of election fraud. I posted my blog again on social media the following day and said:
My friends, truth does not always align with us, so maybe we should align ourselves with truth.
I feel like that comment I made was inspired. I was taking a walk the other day pondering on what I wanted to say at this one-year anniversary, and that same thought came to me again: Align your views to the truth, not align the truth to your views.
Over time I shared several unbiased, nonpartisan analyses and updates about the facts surrounding the insurrection because I wanted to help be a truth-teller. (I learned through this that telling the truth, even respectfully, can get you enemies. I have had to prayerfully, at that time and since then, consider when to post and how to post, and to whom. It has been a process and I’m grateful for the Spirit which guides me as my heart and mind are open.)
Despite Trump’s and many of his supporters’ continued, yet unfounded belief that the election was stolen, Joe Biden was inaugurated on January 20, 2021. It was a beautiful event with really inspiring music, a poignant poem, and uplifting speeches. It was a breath of fresh air in a nation filled with turmoil and hate.
And then social media shifted from constantly talking about the insurrection to bashing our new president. I saw one post being widely shared on social media just two days after inauguration, and I felt that I had to say something:
Friends, I have a piece of friendly and helpful advice: if you see an article, picture, or video posted whose sole purpose is to demean and belittle someone, question the source before you question the person the post is about. Most likely, the person who created the post is just trying to cause trouble and knows he/she is sharing untruths.
For example, tons of people have posted a video of President Biden where he is supposedly being told through his earpiece to salute the Marines and then he says it instead of salutes them. These video postings are obviously meant to make Biden look stupid and disrespectful of the military.
And yet, if you actually listen to the video, you will find that he did not say that. He actually said, “Good looking Marine.” He also was not wearing an earpiece. I looked up information about saluting too, and the Marines would need to salute him before he would salute back. The Marines in the video did not salute him at that moment.
Please understand that by sharing posts like this that division will only get worse in our country, as will unfounded disrespect for our leaders.
Is Joe Biden perfect? No. Will he make mistakes and impose some policies we don’t like or agree with? Sometimes, yes. But does he deserve our respect and support as Commander in Chief? Absolutely! And with our support and prayers he will thrive as president.
If he actually does something deplorable, please talk about it. Otherwise, leave him be. It’s wrong regardless who is president. Thanks for listening!
I can honestly say that I would share the exact sentiments no matter who the unkind and untrue post/video was about. I would hope everyone would, but it takes the truth being more important to us than what we want to be true.
Even with the shift in focus to making our new president look bad, the insurrection did not just fade into the shadows.
President Trump had been impeached by the House of Representatives on January 13, and the trial went to the Senate in February 2021 after he had left office (they tried to go to trial sooner, while Trump was still president but the request was denied). I was not able to listen to all of the trial, but I listened to/watched a great deal of it and then read updates during times I couldn’t watch. I had no preconceived notions and was there simply to hear the truth. I remember feeling incredibly shocked and terrified as the context of the events leading up to January 6 unfolded, as I heard comments made by the former president and many of his strongest and powerful allies calling for violence, as I saw images and videos of the destruction and treatment of the brave police officers, etc. My heart was heavy as my mind came to a clearer knowledge of the truth. Even though there were many accusations of this being a hyper-partisan witch hunt, I never once felt that – I could see the emotion and the pain, and the strong desire for truth to be told and accountability to be met. The day of the vote, on February 13, I pulled over to the side of the road to listen – I was probably holding my breath most of the time. I was astonished when so many senators said “not guilty.” By the end, even though a majority did vote for “guilty,” only 7 out of 17 Republicans that were needed to make a guilty verdict voted in that way. Several Republicans said they knew Trump was responsible but refused to vote guilty because he was no longer president. Others remained his supporters no matter what. I definitely wrote down the names of the 7 brave Republicans who I felt put country over party that day, regardless of the consequences which would come.
I have reflected on the effects of the impeachment results a lot. Even while the trial was going on, I had dear friends tell me they thought the impeachment trial was unnecessary and saw no need to do it since Trump was no longer president. Apparently many senators felt the same, or at least claimed to. But, as I think about what has happened over the past year, and what is continuing to happen, I’m not so sure. Had former President Trump been impeached, then maybe, just maybe, his influence would have steadily waned, especially with the Republican members of Congress. Maybe people would finally have stopped saying that the election was stolen when it had been proven over and over again that it wasn’t anyway. Maybe people wouldn’t still be hanging Trump flags and speaking horrible, unfounded things about our current president. Maybe Republican politicians wouldn’t feel like they have to choose party over principle due to fear and/or immense pressure from their shifting party values and loyalties. Maybe there wouldn’t be states adopting suppressive voting restrictions (that make voting harder for many), and excessive gerrymandering (that allows politicians to choose their voters instead of voters choosing them), in the name of someone who still claims there was massive voter fraud in the last election when there absolutely was not. And maybe friend and family relationships would now be healing that had been previously severed because of devout loyalty to the former president at all costs (I know of several people this has happened to and it truly pains my heart).
I’m so sorry if what I just said sounds negative. I’m not trying to be. This is simply the reality that has been looming over our nation for a year now, and even longer in some cases. I truly hope that the bipartisan House panel investigating the events of January 6 and leading up to it will help bring the accountability and closure our nation so desperately needs. I continue to be enlightened and shocked at the same time at their continuous findings.
After this difficult year, it would be easy for people who just want the truth to be believed and goodness to prevail, to be fearful, discouraged, and forlorn over this situation that seems like will never end.
Though my heart is sometimes heavy with how divided our country is over many politically-charged issues, the most common being something that shouldn’t even be political – COVID-19 and the vaccine – I find solace in my faith in Jesus Christ and His servants.
The most compelling thing I can share with you today is that I know that God still speaks through prophets, seers, and revelators. I have always known this, but I today I share it with you in direct relation to our current political climate in America.
Yesterday, I went back to review a blog post I wrote in October 2020 regarding my prayerful search to find out who to vote for in the presidential election. I searched for answers from my church’s 2020 General Conference and then documented my findings with specific quotes that fit the patterns I saw the most. As I looked through those yesterday, I was struck with the wisdom shared three months before the insurrection that had the counsel been followed by all, it never would have happened. These words also lead and guide us on how we need to behave now and, in the future so history does not repeat itself. Read these quotes and see how you feel reading them:
“In a democratic government, we will always have differences over proposed candidates and policies. However, as followers of Christ we must forgo the anger and hatred with which political choices are debated or denounced in many settings.”
“[Obeying the laws of the land] does not mean that we agree with all that is done with the force of law. It means that we obey the current law and use peaceful means to change it. It also means that we peacefully accept the results of elections. We will not participate in the violence threatened by those disappointed with the outcome. In a democratic society we always have the opportunity and the duty to persist peacefully until the next election.”
“Abraham Lincoln was right when he said, ‘There is no grievance that is a fit object of redress by mob law.’ Redress of grievances by mobs is redress by illegal means. That is anarchy, a condition that has no effective governance and no formal police, which undermines rather than protects individual rights.”
“Though Jesus’s teachings were revolutionary, He did not teach revolution or law-breaking. He taught a better way.”
“During the past few months I have had the impression come to me that the best way to help the current world situation is for all people to rely more fully upon God and to turn their hearts to Him through sincere prayer. Humbling ourselves and seeking heaven’s inspiration to endure or conquer what is before us will be our safest and surest way to move confidently forward through these troubling times. I invite you to pray always. Pray for your family. Pray for your leaders of nations. Pray for the courageous people who are at the front lines in this current battle against social, environmental, political, and biological plagues that impact the people throughout the world, the rich and the poor, the young and the old…No matter how you pray or to whom you pray, please exercise your faith — whatever your faith may be — and pray for your country and for your national leaders. … This is not about politics or policy. This is about peace and the healing that can come to individual souls as well as to the souls of countries.”
“It unites rather than divides. [There is no] or us vs. them mentality…We are all ‘us.’ We are all ‘them…”
“It heals rather than harms… We believe we are responsible and accountable for ourselves, each other, the church, and our world. Charity, true Christ-like caring, is the bedrock of this culture. We feel real concern for the needs of our fellow man, temporal and spiritual, and act on those feelings.”
“…It is a culture… of high moral standards, sacrifice, forgiveness…”
“It espouses the concept of equal worth…There is no prejudice……The worth of souls is great… It is inclusive, not exclusive… This dispels prejudice and hatred.”
Quoting Moses 7:19, “They were of one heart and of one mind.”
“What are the fundamentals that sustain a flourishing society? One that promotes happiness, progress, peace, and well-being among its members.”
“The institutions of family and religion have been crucial for endowing both individuals and communities with the virtues that sustain an enduring society…These virtues, rooted in scripture, include integrity, responsibility and accountability, compassion, marriage and fidelity in marriage, respect for others and the property of others, service and the necessity and dignity of work, among others.”
“…When people turn from a sense of accountability to God and begin to trust instead in the arm of flesh, disaster lurks…is to ignore the divine author of human rights and human dignity and give the highest priority to riches, power, and the praise of the world while often mocking and persecuting those who follow a different standard.”
“Of all the zealous social, religious and political endeavors of our day, let ‘disciple of Jesus Christ’ be our most pronounced and affirming affiliation.”
“‘Be of good cheer’ is the commandment from the Lord, not be of good fear.”
“Unity doesn’t magically happen; it takes work. It’s messy, sometimes it’s uncomfortable, and it happens gradually when we clear away the bad as fast as the good can grow. We are never alone in our efforts to create unity.”
“The millions who have accepted the gospel of Jesus Christ have committed themselves to achieving both righteousness and unity. We are all aware that we can do better, and that is our challenge in this day. We can be a force to lift and bless society as a whole…We can be an oasis of unity and celebrate diversity. Unity and diversity are not opposites. We can achieve greater unity as we foster an atmosphere of inclusion and respect for diversity.”
“Unity is enhanced when people are treated with dignity and respect even when they are different in outward characteristics.”
“By following Jesus’ example, we will avoid many tragedies and undesirable behaviors that might cause family problems and disagreements, negative emotions and inclinations, perpetrating injustices and abuses, enslavement by evil addictions, and anything else that would be against the Lord’s commandments.”
“Christ will enable us to see others as He does. And with His help, we can discern what is most needful…As with all gifts the Father so willingly offers, seeing deeply requires us to ask Him — and then act.” By asking to see others and then acting by “loving, serving, and affirming their worth and potential as prompted.”
“As we face challenges, we can rely upon the promise of the Lord taught by Paul: ‘For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind’ ” (1 Timothy 1:7).
I am so incredibly grateful that I did this exercise during General Conference. It meant a lot to me then, and it means even more to me now.
In my blog post about my findings, I also expressed this sentiment: To believe one party or candidate is godly and another isn’t without truly studying and praying is doing a disservice to yourself, your country, and the candidates who wish to serve America the best way they know how.
Unfortunately, by committing to doing this research rather than automatically voting for the current president’s reelection, a relationship with someone I love dearly was severely damaged and has not recovered even with much love and service on my part. There is very little in my life that has hurt me more than this reality.
In the midst of this pain, I did feel so much peace as I listened to President Dallin H. Oaks’ talk in the April 2021 General Conference, which was three months after the insurrection. His talk was about the inspired Constitution of the United States. I’m so grateful for his talk because not only did it indirectly denounce the insurrection on January 6, 2021, it also brought me confirmation that my prayerful research, and my desire to do my research and possibly vote for a different party than normal, was righteous and acceptable before God. Here are some important quotes from the talk that illustrate that:
“Sovereign power in the people does not mean that mobs or other groups of people can intervene to intimidate or force government action.”
“…I see divine inspiration in the vital purpose of the entire Constitution. We are to be governed by law and not by individuals, and our loyalty is to the Constitution and its principles and processes, not to any office holder. In this way, all persons are to be equal before the law. These principles block the autocratic ambitions that have corrupted democracy in some countries. They also mean that none of the three branches of government should be dominant over the others or prevent the others from performing their proper constitutional functions to check one another.”
“The dignity and force of the Constitution is reduced by those who refer to it like a loyalty test or a political slogan, instead of its lofty status as a source of authorization for and limits on government authority.”
“What else are faithful Latter-day Saints to do? We must pray for the Lord to guide and bless all nations and their leaders. This is part of our article of faith. Being subject to presidents or rulers of course poses no obstacle to our opposing individual laws or policies. It does require that we exercise our influence civilly and peacefully within the framework of our constitutions and applicable laws. On contested issues, we should seek to moderate and unify. There are other duties that are part of upholding the inspired Constitution. We should learn and advocate the inspired principles of the Constitution. We should seek out and support wise and good persons who will support those principles in their public actions. We should be knowledgeable citizens who are active in making our influence felt in civic affairs.”
“There are many political issues, and no party, platform, or individual candidate can satisfy all personal preferences. Each citizen must therefore decide which issues are most important to him or her at any particular time. Then members should seek inspiration on how to exercise their influence according to their individual priorities. This process will not be easy. It may require changing party support or candidate choices, even from election to election. Such independent actions will sometimes require voters to support candidates or political parties or platforms whose other positions they cannot approve. That is one reason we encourage our members to refrain from judging one another in political matters. We should never assert that a faithful Latter-day Saint cannot belong to a particular party or vote for a particular candidate. We teach correct principles and leave our members to choose how to prioritize and apply those principles on the issues presented from time to time. We also insist, and we ask our local leaders to insist, that political choices and affiliations not be the subject of teachings or advocacy in any of our Church meetings.”
We can all learn so much from President Oaks’ words. We learn that there is a danger is putting an elected official above the law of the land or the laws of God, and that we must elect wise and good individuals to serve in our government. We learn that we must follow the law and remain peaceful when we disagree. We learn that it is acceptable and righteous to vote our consciences on the issues we feel are most important, regardless of political party, which brings further clarity to me that God doesn’t align with, or expect us to be a part of, any particular political party. And there is so much more we can learn.
I know I have taken many directions in this post, but I hope it is of help to someone. I know that even though January 6, 2021 is a day we wish never happened, we must never forget it. We must learn from it. We must be better from it. We must unite as Americans to fight for and do what is right for our country, regardless of any party, platform, policy, or politician. Maintaining the cause of freedom, and life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness for all Americans is not about any of that. It’s about spreading the light of Christ (or goodness in general) so all feel included, respected, and cared for. This cannot be done in a spirit of anger, choosing to only see your side as right and the other as completely wrong. It cannot be done by name-calling or spreading hateful gossip, exaggerations, and lies to make others look bad. No, that does nothing but cause division and hurt. Instead, to share this goodness and light that our nation so desperately needs, we must do so with unity, temperance, brotherly kindness, equity, and peaceful methods. We must strive for compromise and collaboration, set high standards for ourselves and those we elect, denounce all wrongdoing, regardless of who is doing it, and be wholly committed to embracing and sharing the TRUTH.
Today I had the very special opportunity to speak in church about how to strengthen our relationship with Jesus Christ in the coming new year.
My Bishop gave me two weeks to prepare, and the first week I did spend quite a bit of time researching and pondering. But, the week before speaking, I was so busy preparing for Christmas, and was so tired, that I didn’t really sit down to finish my talk until after everyone went to bed Christmas night.
I prayed before I began pulling my talk together that I would be able to focus on and write the most worthwhile things for everyone to hear. I cannot describe just how tired I was last night, but I was somehow able to write my talk in a matter of hours. I went to bed late and then got up early to shorten it. I was happy with it. I also knew I would cry since just by reading it aloud I teared up.
Well, I got up to give my talk, and I cried many times. I felt the Spirit testify to me so strongly that Jesus Christ is my Savior and Redeemer. I ran out of time to finish my talk, but I hope and pray that people were touched today by the words God inspired me to put together. I am pasting the words to my talk below. I hope they bring joy and inspiration to you.
Merry Christmas, brothers and sisters. I hope you have felt the love of your Heavenly Father and your Savior Jesus Christ as you have celebrated His birth this season. The new year is nearly here, and it’s a time to resolve to be better than we were this past year. Perhaps the most crucial resolve we can make is to nourish and strengthen our testimony of Jesus Christ.
Elder Richard G. Scott taught that [a testimony]…is the very essence of character woven from threads born of countless correct decisions. It generates the conviction that as the teachings of the Savior are consistently obeyed, life will be beautiful, the future secure, and there will be capacity to overcome the challenges that cross our path.”
No matter where we fall on the spectrum of our faith, there are so many ways to strengthen our testimonies of Christ. I would like to discuss some of them today.
The first two are simple and go hand in hand. See if you can hear them in this quote by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland: “Daily fervent prayers seeking forgiveness and direction are essential to our lives and the nourishment of our testimonies. Personal, sincere involvement in the scriptures produces faith, hope, and solutions to our daily challenges. Frequently reading, pondering, and applying the lessons of the scriptures, combined with prayer, become an irreplaceable part of gaining and sustaining a strong, vibrant testimony.”
Have you ever studied your scriptures by focusing on the Savior? You can study the types of Christ in the Old Testament or read how the prophets prophesied of His birth, life, and atonement, especially Isaiah; you can highlight all instances where Jesus is mentioned in the scriptures, in the Book of Mormon especially; you can study each section of the topical guide that talks about Him and all the wonderful names by which He is called. You can read in the four gospels and in 3rd Nephi where Jesus actually walked with, talked with, prayed with, and healed real people. You can make those stories even more powerful and personal as you imagine that you are the blind man that he gave sight to, that you were the woman whose issue of blood was healed by touching his garment, that you were one of the children He sat upon His knee, that you were one of a member of the congregation when He gave His sermon on the mount, that you were one of the Nephites who felt the nail prints in his hands and feet. How would you have felt if you had been there – if you had seen the Savior? If you had touched Him? If you had heard Him speak? If you had seen His love for you through His eyes?
And when you pray, you can thank Heavenly Father for the precious gift of His beloved son and you can focus on what your Savior has done for you, and what He can do for you. Offer up your thanks, your reverence, your love, and your praises so that He feels your love. Ask what you can do to be like Him, to share His light, to serve His children. Pray for forgiveness of your sins and for strength to overcome weakness through the powers of His atonement.
That is another way to strengthen our testimonies of Christ – by better understanding and applying His infinite atonement to our lives. Through Christ’s atonement, we can be cleansed and redeemed as we repent.
President Russell M. Nelson has called repentance “a never-ending privilege. It is fundamental to progression and having peace of mind, comfort, and joy.”
Some of us may feel that we have sinned so heavily that there is no hope for forgiveness. If you are feeling that now, please do not feel that way another moment. Take heart on this beautiful truth from Elder Truman G. Madsen: “If there are some of you who have been tricked into the conviction that you have gone too far, … that you have had the poison of sin which makes it impossible ever again to be what you could have been—then hear me. You cannot sink farther than the light and sweeping intelligence of Jesus Christ can reach. As long as there is one spark of the will to repent and to reach, he is there. He did not just descend to your condition; he descended below it, ‘that he might be in all and through all things, the light of truth.’
Another way we can more fully appreciate the redeeming power of Christ’s atonement is by treating the ordinance of the Sacrament as a holy ordinance, and the most important part of our church meetings. Elder Holland said that this sacred weekly ordinance “should be a powerful, reverent, reflective moment. It should encourage spiritual feelings and impressions.”
In his talk “This Do in Remembrance of Me,” Elder Holland gives beautiful ideas of how we can reverently reflect on our Savior during the Sacrament. I recommend that everyone print those suggestions out and refer to them often. During the administration of this sacred ordinance, other ideas are to read the scriptures, conference talks, or sacrament hymns, and pray to Heavenly Father, thanking Him for the gift of His son, and asking for forgiveness and strength to be a better disciple of Christ.
The most beautiful truth in Elder Holland’s talk, to me was this: “In his resurrected, otherwise perfected body, our Lord of this sacrament table has chosen to retain for the benefit of his disciples the wounds in his hands and his feet and his side—signs, if you will, that painful things happen even to the pure and perfect. Signs, if you will, that pain in this world is not evidence that God doesn’t love you. It is the wounded Christ who is the captain of our soul—he who yet bears the scars of sacrifice, the lesions of love and humility and forgiveness. Those wounds are what he invites young and old, then and now, to step forward and see and feel.”
And may I now share a portion of the beautiful testimony of Elder Bruce R. McConkie: “I testify that Jesus Christ is the Son of the Living God and was crucified for the sins of the world. He is our Lord, our God, and our King. In a coming day I shall feel the nail marks in his hands and in his feet and shall wet his feet with my tears. But I shall not know any better than I know now that he is God’s Almighty Son, that he is our Savior and Redeemer, and that salvation comes in and through his atoning blood and in no other way. God grant that all of us may walk in the light as God our Father is in the light so that, according to the promises, the blood of Jesus Christ his Son will cleanse us from all sin.”
Yes, through Christ’s atonement, we can be cleansed from our sins. And as Elder Bednar has explained, the Savior’s atonement has another wonderful power – the power to enable us to be better than we are.
He said, “The Lord desires, through His Atonement and by the power of the Holy Ghost, to live in us—not only to direct us but also to empower us. … He can reach out, touch, and succor—literally run to us—and strengthen us to be more than we could ever be and help us to do that which we could never do through relying only upon our own power.”
My favorite scripture in the Book of Mormon is Ether 12:27, which reads: “I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.” Elder Bednar explained that grace is another word for Christ’s enabling power.
We should take the time to ponder and self-reflect, thinking on our past weaknesses that we have seen improve through a righteous desire to change, coupled with fervent prayer and patience. We should express our gratitude through prayer for this divine help. We can then ponder on our current weaknesses honestly, humbly, and prayerfully. We can ask the question, “What lack I yet?” and we can trust in our Savior to help us make those weak things strong. As we trust in the Lord, we will recognize how callings, opportunities, and people who come our way can help us in that enabling process. I believe in Christ’s enabling power. I have seen that some weaknesses I had years ago have slowly and steadily become strengths, and I have nobody but my Savior to thank for that. It has changed my life, and I look forward to acting on His enabling powers to help me with more of my many weaknesses.
When we fully grasp onto the Savior’s atonement, we can truly become more like Him, putting his divine attributes to the test, and can come to know that His way is the highest and holiest way.
President Thomas S. Monson taught that “love is the very essence of the gospel, and Jesus Christ is our Exemplar. His life was a legacy of love.”
In a world so full of judgment, anger, negativity, prejudice, and hate, it’s more important than ever that we resolve to stand apart from the world and exude light and love, compassion and forgiveness, empathy and understanding.
President Nelson taught that Christ has given us many gifts, one being “an unlimited capacity to love. That includes the capacity to love the unlovable and those who not only do not love you but presently persecute and despitefully use you. You may even want to ask God for His angels to walk with you where you presently do not want to tread.” Another gift President Nelson shared was the ability to forgive. He said, “Through His infinite Atonement, you can forgive those who have hurt you and who may never accept responsibility for their cruelty to you. The Savior will grant you the ability to forgive anyone who has mistreated you in any way.”
President Monson, speaking of the pure love of Christ taught that “Charity is having patience with someone who has let us down. It is resisting the impulse to become offended easily. It is accepting weaknesses and shortcomings. It is accepting people as they truly are. It is looking beyond physical appearances to attributes that will not dim through time. It is resisting the impulse to categorize others.”
Sister Silvia Allred, adding onto that, said, “When we have charity, we are willing to serve and help others when it is inconvenient and with no thought of recognition or reciprocation. We don’t wait to be assigned to help, because it becomes our very nature.”
Elder Dale G. Renlund speaking about Christ as our good shepherd, said, “The Savior’s mortal ministry was characterized by love, compassion, and empathy. He did not disdainfully walk the dusty roads of Galilee and Judea, flinching at the sight of sinners. No, He ate with them. He helped and blessed, lifted and edified, and replaced fear and despair with hope and joy. We, who are sinners, must, like the Savior, reach out to others with compassion and love. Our role is also to help and bless, lift and edify, and replace fear and despair with hope and joy. The Savior rebuked individuals who recoiled from others they viewed as unclean and who self-righteously judged others as more sinful than they. Jesus Christ set the example for us to follow—to show respect to all and hatred toward none. As His disciples, let us fully mirror His love and love one another so openly and completely that no one feels abandoned, alone, or hopeless.”
These profound teachings can help us as we do our best to grow in our love for our fellow man in the coming year. I think the key to learning to love others unconditionally is to try to see them at God sees them and love them as God loves them. No matter how imperfect any person is, no matter how they identify or look like, no matter what they say, do, feel, or think, they are beloved children of Heavenly Father. He sent His son, Jesus Christ, to atone for all of us. He has His arms outstretched to everyone and He shuns none. Why then should we? If there are people in your life right now that you are struggling to like, love, or forgive, perhaps write down their names. Ask God to help you find good in them. Ask Him to help you soften your heart towards them. Ask Him to help you internalize that you do not know all that He knows. Ask Him to help you see what good you can do for others and what good they can do for you – even those that are most unlovable. Those who are hardest to love are often those who need love the most.
Living a life of Christ-like love is a wonderful way to help increase our testimony, as is lovingly sharing our testimony with others.
President Eyring promised, “You will be a light to the world as you share your testimony. You will reflect to others the Light of Christ in your life. The Lord will find ways for that light to touch those you love.”
So, how can we better share our testimonies in this coming year? Truthfully, it is not always easy because we are sometimes worried about how people will react. But, as we pray for that desire to share the gospel of Christ with others, the Holy Ghost will help us know what to say and how to say it.
Some ideas on how to share our testimonies are naturally talking about blessings and tender mercies in our lives, bearing our testimonies in testimony meeting, sending quotes, scriptures or videos to friends or family when we feel they may need it, having pictures of Christ in our homes so that when people come to visit they will know that we love Him, using our musical talents to sing praises to Him, and utilizing social media as a way to share spiritual insights, stories, and scriptures as we feel prompted. The Lord has given us all a unique combination of spiritual gifts, and with those gifts, we can truly share His gospel with others.
The final way to increase our testimony of Christ I wish to discuss is by faithfully attending the temple regularly. Living worthy to attend the temple, and making and keeping covenants for ourselves and the dead there, will increase the presence of the Holy Ghost in our lives, leading to greater testimony.
President Nelson recently taught: “The temple lies at the center of strengthening our faith and spiritual fortitude because the Savior and His doctrine are the very heart of the temple. Everything taught in the temple increases our understanding of Jesus Christ. His essential ordinances bind us to Him through sacred priesthood covenants. Then, as we keep our covenants, He endows us with His healing, strengthening power. The Lord is providing opportunities for each of us to bolster our spiritual foundations more effectively by centering our lives on Him and on the ordinances and covenants of His temple. When you bring your temple recommend, a contrite heart, and a seeking mind to the Lord’s house of learning, He will teach you.”
If you do not have a temple recommend, please make a goal to get one next year. If you do have one, please make consistent appointments to attend, bringing family names when possible. We all can make time for the temple. Our eternal lives depend on it.
To bring my thoughts together, I would like to share this lovely thought from Elder Timothy J. Dyches – “Just as sunlight daily bathes the earth to renew and sustain life, you can daily brighten the light within you when you choose to follow Jesus Christ. A drop of sunshine is added every time you seek God in prayer; study the scriptures to “hear Him”; act on guidance and revelation from our living prophets; and obey and keep the commandments. You will invite spiritual sunlight into your soul and peace into your life each time you repent. As you partake of the sacrament, His light will shine within you. There is sunshine in your soul every time you share the gospel and bear your testimony. Every time you serve one another as the Savior did, His warmth is felt in your heart. Heavenly Father’s light always resides within His holy temple and upon all who present themselves in the house of the Lord. His light in you is enhanced with your acts of kindness, patience, forgiveness, and charity and shows itself in your happy countenance. As you keep your face towards the sunshine, the shadows cannot help but fall behind you.”
Brothers and sisters, I know that Jesus is my Savior and my Redeemer. I know that He lives, and He is in Heaven with His and our Heavenly Father. Jesus, like Heavenly Father, loves each of us unconditionally. He smiles when we smile and weeps when we weep. He is always our friend and advocate. He knows how we feel. He wants to bless us. He wants us to return to live with Heavenly Father again. He has provided the way. I pray that we can all more fully believe in Him, love Him, follow Him, and share His love in the coming year.
Wow. Church today was just about as beautiful as it could be. I personally felt the presence of the Holy Ghost during every congregational hymn, musical number, and talk given. That beautiful spirit, often manifested by involuntary tears, continued into Relief Society (a class for our church’s women’s organization). The main theme of the day centered around gathering Israel on both sides of the veil, most specifically through sharing the gospel and doing temple and family history work.
Our Bishop made the wise remark that nothing we do in our church, whether a mission, assignment, or calling, is about us. It’s about the people we serve. It’s about loving God and serving His children. I thought about this verse:
Wherefore, be not weary in well-doing, for ye are laying the foundation of a great work. And out of small things proceedeth that which is great.
He also spoke about the paradox of losing verses finding our lives, mentioned several times in the Bible. Here is one version from the book of Matthew:
He who seeketh to save his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it.
The purpose of life is not just to have fun and do whatever we please for personal pleasure. Rather, it is making sacrifices of our time, talents, and heart in order to do God’s work will help us find out who we really are and who we have the potential of becoming.
The tears really flowed when our Relief Society President, Dori, got up to present her talk. Jad had sent her a very sacred experience surrounding the recent illness and death of his uncle. She didn’t have time to present her entire prepared message, but she made sure to share all of Jad’s story. That was what she felt was most important to share. There were many sniffles and tears in the congregation, including our own. Here is that story completely in Jad’s own words, written on May 16, 2021:
Due to COVID-19, My uncle William was admitted to a nearby hospital on Monday, April fifth. I would call him every other day to check on him when I am driving to work, and on the weekend I give him the chance to talk to my family. He has been asking to talk to the kids a lot lately those days. On April 17 Kamren spent more time talking to my uncle about his upcoming soccer game. at that time he took a selfie with my uncle that I did not know till later. later on, on the same day, my mother said that she had a bad dream about my uncle dying but I stopped her and I told her everything would be fine, don’t worry mother.
Mother came for a quick unexpected visit on Monday, April 19 and as soon she walked into our home she starts crying and we said what is wrong Teta “Grama in English”. your uncle William in the ICU. We all comforted her and said he is not going to die. And I assured her that he will be just fine. I didn’t think that he will die at all.
My mother left with my brother back to his house, and that night I had some bad dreams, that I was in Jordan near my uncle hospital and there was broken glass from the hospital windows everywhere, it was at unease all the time, and then I walk up to my brother calling me around at 1:30 AM. I had a feeling of very bad news. my brother said that our beloved uncle William died. I cried and cried for 2 hours then around 4 AM I drove to my brother’s home so I can be there before my mother walk up, but I soon parked by the home I can hear my mother screaming and crying from outside. I stayed beside almost all day to comfort each other.
A week later on May 1st after my mother spent the day with us, I drove here back to my brother’s home and on the way there she asked me Jad where is your uncle William now. For a moment I was wow I never thought my mother would ask me this question, I felt the spirit so strong and I took this opportunity and talked about the plan of salvation, She felt comforted knowing my uncle is still there and he is doing he learning the true gospel and eventually once his work is done in the gospel he will be helping the lord in his work. She may think this is to be good to be true but at least it makes her feel happy knowing so. In my mind what she did not ask her Brother in law or her sister who are preachers and study the religion for years or any other preacher from back home. See at one time in my life around 9-10 years old I asked my mother what are those feeling that I have about life and earth and our souls and what will happen to it the afterlife, and she did not know and referred me to the priest which he told not to think about such things, it will make you crazy.
after that on my mother said, “Jad I have not told you this, but 3 days before your uncle died I had a dream that I was at our old home overseas and I was looking for my brother everywhere and I can’t find him, then your deceased grandmother appear to me, so I asked her mother where is my brother William, and she said go ask Jad, and she repeated three times.”
That is why she asked me.
I and mandy did the work for my both of my grandparent from my mother side. and the spirit was so strong when we baptize and seal them together later.
My Uncle William was kind and charitable and very giving to all. a stranger will love and feel peace and trust him after they meet home. he was a father for us since our dad left us when we young and we forced to leave our home and live with my grandparent and our uncle and aunts.
He treated me like a son and reward me when I do great at school, took us to nice places, and taught us how to swim.
He was married late in his life and left behind a 10-year-old girl name Yara and a 12-year-old boy, Yousef “Joseph”. His kids are having a really tough time now, Mom arrived today to Jordan to comfort them.
William with his mother and with his sonWilliam with his wife, children, and Jad’s motherKamren with William
I had several people come up to me at church telling me how touched they were by Jad’s experiences. Dori told me she felt this was perfect representation to her of gathering Israel on both sides of the veil, and the miracles that can ensue. She said Jad’s story is now a part of her life, which really meant a lot to me.
Our Relief Society lesson helped continue this beautiful conversation as we focused on the phrase, “every nation, kindred, tongue, and people.”
We spoke about each word. It was emotional for me having a husband who is from Jordan – a country that is not open to the preaching of the gospel yet. I shared that I know with all my heart that Jad was sent to the United States when he was and how he was so he could find the Church and help his kindred also embrace it when they are ready. God cares about each and every family and wishes for them to be united eternally. He will and does provide a way for that to happen.
I read over Elder Gong’s talk (the talk we discussed in the lesson) after coming home, and these words hit me the most:
Our 2020 bicentennial proclamation begins with the profoundly inclusive promise that “God loves His children in every nation of the world.” To each of us in every nation, kindred, tongue, and people, God promises, covenants, and invites us to come partake of His abundant joy and goodness…
In the household of faith there are to be no strangers, no foreigners, no rich and poor, no outside “others.” As “fellowcitizens with the saints,” we are invited to change the world for the better, from the inside out, one person, one family, one neighborhood at a time.
Elder Gerrit W. Gong
Elder Gong also wisely said:
By small and simple means—in which we are each invited to participate—great things are brought to pass.
Elder Gerrit W. Gong
God has been refining me over the years in many ways, and one way He has done so is by helping me see goodness in all people – to help me realize and honor that all people on this planet, regardless of choices, beliefs, circumstances, or any other defining factor, are children of God and beloved by Him. There is nobody who does not need Christ and there is nobody that does not deserve to partake of His goodness and love. We have a choice as Saints to either push others away because we don’t think they are good enough, or realize none of us are good enough, but God loves us perfectly anyway, and wants us all to come unto Him. We then take that to action through our kindness, encouragement, service, compassion, and understanding.
I left church feeling so uplifted and inspired. On the way home, I got really emotional as I was talking to Jad. I have felt for many years that God has a very special purpose for my husband. It is so clear to me just how much God has been with Jad every step of the way in his life. There have been countless direction, miracles, and interventions that there is no doubt in my mind Jad has a very important mission to fulfil on this earth to help gather Israel. I choked up as I wondered why I was chosen to be his wife – his companion – on this earth and for eternity. It was a really sweet conversation as Jad shared clear examples with me of how I had been such a crucial part of his life in helping him make the best decisions, as well as accepting him and loving him in his circumstances early on.
When I got home from church, I felt prompted to share this to Facebook:
The best tears are those that freely flow when feeling the presence of the Holy Ghost all around you. As they wet your face, they cleanse and refresh your soul.
I really felt that. But it wasn’t only thinking of Jad’s experiences that brought so much emotion to my soul today. It’s also because I feel like God has been nudging me a while on this subject. I actually got really passionate about family history a year or so ago. I loved doing it so much, but because I have been so busy and distracted with things related to selling, renting, and building homes (among many other things), I have pretty much let it go, and have felt guilty about it. I have been passionate about some good things since, but not that.
The first nudge came in early June of this year as Jad and I sat together to watch a church broadcast about supporting children and youth. The most important part of the broadcast (to me) wasn’t even the main message, but it struck me like an arrow to the heart. It was a clip of President Russell M. Nelson saying this:
These surely are the latter days, and the Lord is hastening His work to gather Israel. That gathering is the most important thing taking place on earth today. Nothing else compares in magnitude, nothing else compares in importance, nothing else compares in majesty. And if you choose to, if you want to, you can be a big part of it. You can be a big part of something big, something grand, something majestic!
President Russell M. Nelson
He said “nothing else” three times! It hit me so hard. I had been focusing on several good things, but I had let the most important thing, where nothing else compares to it in importance, slip.
Then, I got two more nudges this past Friday. I was going to be able to go inside the Raleigh Temple for the first time since February 2020 (pre-pandemic) for a baptism trip. I wanted to bring family names, so I printed some female names off of my account and some male names off of my son, Casey’s account. But I couldn’t stop there. I kept printing and printing and printing names. I couldn’t help it – I just felt that there were so many ancestors waiting to receive their ordinances and make covenants with Heavenly Father. I printed as many as I could until Jad reminded me probably not all would be able to be completed that night.
Then the time came to go. I was going as an observer and helper, specifically for a new member of the church, Kourtney, who has become my good friend. I rode with her on the way to the Temple, and she couldn’t contain her excitement. I knew she was ready to be there. We walked the Temple grounds first, and I could tell that she and the other two new members (such sweet sisters as well) were so at peace looking at the temple and breathing in the beauty and peace that was there.
Kourtney was nervous about doing something wrong or not knowing what to do at first, and she made sure I would be with her or within her sight at all times. I saw a shift, though, as the baptism session went on, and I could tell she didn’t really need me anymore. She was just really loving the spiritual experience she was having.
I also loved being able to sit in the Temple and watch the youth and new converts help those who had not previously had the opportunity, to be baptized. I loved hearing names called out that I knew were from my ancestry.
As we left the Temple, there was a lasting peace and calm. I turned to Kourtney and asked her what her favorite part of the session was, and she said that as she was watching the first several young men be baptized on behalf of deceased persons, she realized that those were not just names – they were real people who had been hoping and praying for a long time that they could receive these ordinances. That rush of revelation prompted her to volunteer to be baptized next, but not before she studied each name in her hand and felt of their righteous desires. She said that she felt very strongly after being baptized and confirmed for them, that each of those sisters accepted their baptismal covenants.
I was amazed at her wisdom and I knew what she said was true. I was even more grateful because the women who she had been baptized for were all ancestors of mine.
The Holy Ghost has been giving me gentle nudges for a while now about how I need to refocus my greatest efforts on gathering Israel. That is the most important thing I can do on this earth. It’s the most important thing any follower of Christ can do. I’m grateful for those nudges as they have strengthened my testimony greatly.
I pray that I will be able to keep my sights in line with God’s will for me. I know that by doing this I will be happier and holier, and that I will find myself by losing it for His sake.
I hear many Christians say, “God doesn’t make mistakes.”
If used with loving tones and intentions, this can be a true and glorious statement. The key word is “if.” To help understand intent, we need to go further into the statement.
Let’s try using it in relation to many of God’s creations and gifts and see how we would continue the sentence like this: “God doesn’t make mistakes and so…_________________.”
God created the water, land, and all of the trees, herbs, grasses, plants, and flowers (See Genesis 1:9-12, 29). There is much beauty to behold on the earth because of these creations, as well as food and medicine for us to use. However, many areas of the earth suffer from famine, drought, and horrible natural disasters, such as earthquakes, fires, floods, and hurricanes. Some plants, trees, and flowers also bring pain and discomfort.
“God doesn’t make mistakes, and so… ___________________________.”
What would you say? I would say, “…in His wisdom, God gave us opposition to help us love and appreciate the beauty of nature on one hand, and on the other hand to turn to Him in faith when nature causes harm. To those who are not currently suffering by the hand of nature, He provides them with the opportunity to serve those who are.”
God created all of the fish, birds, beasts, and creeping things on this earth (see Genesis 1:20-25, 30). These animals bring joy, wonder, beauty, nutrition, and affection to us on the earth. But, some are dangerous, even deadly. Others are gross, destructive, or just plain annoying. We may wish they didn’t exist.
“God doesn’t make mistakes, and so… ___________________________.”
What would you say? I would say, “…in His wisdom, He gave us all kinds of animals not only for us to enjoy, but also to help us learn tolerance, each animal’s purpose, how to coexist with them, and in dangerous interactions with them, the ability to use our faith to turn to Him for help.”
God created male and female in His image and commanded them to multiply and replenish the earth (See Genesis 1:26-28). The human body is magnificent and works in miraculous ways. Being able to have children is one of those miracles. However, not all people are born with bodies and minds that function perfectly or properly. There are many born with mild to severe mental and/or physical disabilities. Some babies don’t even make it to birth because their bodies are unable to function outside the womb. There are also many couples who wish for nothing more than to be parents, and yet can never conceive or carry a child to term.
“God doesn’t make mistakes, and so…____________________________.”
These situations can be heartbreaking and very personal. The answer to this statement will be different for everyone, and may take much prayer, fasting and faith to accept and receive an answer that brings peace. When we know of people who suffer from these heartaches, we respond with love, compassion, and open arms.
You may have noticed that I have missed something in relation to this gift of God: not all of God’s children are attracted to the opposite sex, which is needful in order to multiply and replenish the earth. Some are attracted to the same sex, others to both, some to none at all, and some even feel that their inside gender doesn’t match their outside sex. Let’s try to fill in the blank again:
“God doesn’t make mistakes, and so…____________________________.”
At this point, many Christians would take pause. In all the other instances above, most Christians would respond with faith and positivity. Yet, this example is rarely treated the same way. On the contrary, when it comes to LGBTQ+ individuals, so often I have heard Christians judge unkindly, accusing them of wickedness and vile sin, thinking upon them with disgust and denying their humanity. They fill in the blank with words like this: “God doesn’t make mistakes, and so LGBTQ+ individuals are choosing these grotesque lifestyles and trying to destroy the divine nature of the family.”
These thoughts and feelings are often a product of ignorance, and are very damaging. Jesus certainly never spoke or felt this way about any of God’s children, and does not want us to do so either.
Before you think I have always been above thoughts like that, I have to make some confessions. In the early 2000s, people didn’t really talk about homosexuality or any other type of sexuality outside the heterosexual. I recall at least twice in high school when different teen boys told me they were gay. I am ashamed to say that I did not react with love. I did not acknowledge either boy’s courage for saying something that would likely cause persecution and ostracizing by their peers. No, I laughed it off each time and said that they were just making it up and that nobody was really gay. I didn’t mean any harm, but how harmful my responses must have been! I remember also in those teen years when my little brother told me that someone told him he could be a model that I scoffed and said, “Do you want people to think you are gay??” In my high school, I often heard and said the derogatory phrase, “That’s so gay” anytime something was deemed undesirable or dumb. I shudder to think about that now.
When I was in college, my same little brother who I scoffed at about possibly being a model told my family that he was gay. I was shocked when I heard because the girls always loved him. I just didn’t know how that could be possible. But as I talked to him, I found out that he had felt different ever since he was a young boy around age 8. He tried to hide who he was for a long time and pretend to be someone he wasn’t. He finally couldn’t do it anymore, and when he had the courage to speak out about who he really was, he was treated horribly by so many, including by church leadership who said he needed therapy to be fixed. Attitudes, knowledge, and acceptance towards LGBTQ+ individuals have changed a lot in my church since then, but I am so sorry for those like my brother who were not treated with the love they needed and deserved during their most vulnerable times.
My brother is one of the most remarkable people that I know. He is not grotesque. He is a beautiful person in every way imaginable. I have known many gay, lesbian, and bisexual people in my life and all of them have been kind, fun, smart, innovative, and amazing people. They are just as human and just as worthy of love as anybody else.
But, even knowing my brother was gay, and even having several gay and bisexual friends at work years ago, I haven’t always been at the point of loving and respecting them so much that I was always considerate of their feelings and of their experiences. That has come with time, and I am still working on that.
I do not know any transgender individuals yet, and the idea of transgenderism is still pretty new for me, though my feelings have changed quite a bit. I remember in 2015 when Bruce Jenner came out asking to be called Caitlyn, I was disgusted and weirded out. I remember thinking that there is no way that this was anything other than a publicity stunt. Someone on Facebook shared an article. It was written by a member of my church and it was entitled, “I’ll call you Caitlyn.” I was angry when I read it and thought this person was going against the gospel… but I have changed since then. Now when I read the article, I see someone trying to emulate the Savior and acting in accordance with His gospel.
If you have angry, judgmental feelings towards LGBTQ members of the human family – of God’s family, please get to know them. Treat them as human beings. Try to be able to fill in the blanks of the phrase “God doesn’t make mistakes and so…” in a more loving way, perhaps like this:
“God doesn’t make mistakes and so He wants me to learn to love others the way He loves them, no matter if they are different than me. He wants me to seek for understanding. He wants me to treat my LGBTQ+ brothers and sisters with respect and dignity. He wants me to offer them friendship and support and to acknowledge the persecution they endure just for being them. He wants me to help them feel welcomed into society and into the church as equals.”
Let’s talk about just one more thing God has given us.
Heavenly Father gave each person who will ever live the gift of moral agency, or the gift to choose how we think, what we say, and how we act in any given situation. How many times have we secretly wished that God would force people to do the right thing? How many times have we hoped that He would stop people from using their agency for the wrong? But, that isn’t His plan. How can we fill in the blank about agency, even when we see and feel the tragic effects of bloodshed, racism, vicious lies, betrayal, and other horrible acts of cruelty? Perhaps we have used our agency to do some of these awful things too.
“God doesn’t make mistakes, and so…____________________________.”
How would you fill this one in? It’s a very difficult one sometimes to understand. I might say, “God doesn’t make mistakes, and so he gave us agency so that we would have an opportunity to prove our worthiness to Him. God wants us to choose Him even when we can’t see Him. He wants us to come to Him in prayer to help us make the right choices. He wants us to mourn with and comfort those who need it. He wants us to reach out and help victims of other people’s wickedness. He wants us to forgive those who hurt us and He wants us to live worthy of the presence of the Holy Ghost so we can avoid making decisions that hurt others. He wants us to gain enough spiritual strength that we can withstand the temptations of Satan. He wants us to trust in our Savior, that He can cleanse us when we have sinned and He can make us whole when we are broken. He wants us to have a choice in our own salvation and He wants us to embrace our individual worth and recognize our divine nature. All this is possible only through the gift of agency.”
To my fellow Christians, I ask you to use your God-given agency to make room in your hearts, in your friendships, and in your church for all people.
God does not make mistakes – we do. As we learn to see His wisdom in every gift, every creation, and every individual facet of a child of God, differences and all, we will make less mistakes and make more good choices. We will be more loving, more merciful, more compassionate, more like Him.
