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  • Lessons from Watching Elena of Avalor

    My daughter’s favorite show is currently Elena of Avalor. I don’t blame her – it’s funny, has some really interesting characters and stories, has catchy songs, and also teaches some really awesome life lessons. All of my boys even like it.

    I was watching an episode with her today, an episode we have already seen, in fact, where Princess Elena and her best friend, Naomi, are busy planning an important festival for the entire kingdom. Then, a cousin of one of their royal staff, a young woman named Rita, shows up and has a keen desire to help with the festival. Things start going wrong all over the place, and Naomi has a sneaky suspicion that Rita is responsible.

    When Naomi finally accuses Rita of specific wrongdoings, Rita sweetly denies it, and Princess Elena, rather than agree with her friend, expresses genuine worry about Naomi’s stress levels.

    The audience knows that Rita is in fact not who she appears – she is actually an evil young woman named Carla who wants to steal a special crown from the treasury, and has only been pretending to be helpful so she could get to it.

    Now, in real life we might have trouble figuring out if “Rita” were genuine or fake, friend or foe. Naomi probably should have gotten proof before attacking Rita’s intentions, and Elena probably should have been more supportive of her friend’s gut instincts.

    This episode made me think about judgment. I know people who think that having any constructive opinion or concern about someone is wrong because “you are just being judgmental.”

    But judging isn’t necessarily wrong – we have to do it all the time. We have to judge people and situations for our own well-being and safety.

    Are we wrong sometimes? Absolutely. I can think of plenty of times I have been wrong, for better or for worse. Here are some examples:

    • I have blindly trusted someone for years, believing she was a victim of so much familial hatred, and it was only years later that I realized her true colors, that she was the prime source of the hatred, and that her family didn’t actually hate her at all. They just felt they had to keep their distance for their own well-being.
    • I have misjudged when someone was trying to hurt me, even my friends. Rather than give the benefit of the doubt, I have assumed the worst, letting my irrational hurt feelings cloud my sound logic.
    • I have taken sides in situations where I know for sure one person has done bad things and I have listened only to the words of the person who was hurt, not realizing that hurt often goes both ways.
    • I have had bad feelings toward someone, getting very frustrated at their seeming inadequacies, only to get context later that humbled me greatly.
    • On the other hand, I have judged someone more correctly than I would ever want to, only to be treated horribly for thinking about the safety of my family above all else.

    Judgment can hurt whether you are correct or incorrect in your judgments. Does that mean we should never judge anyone and just assume everyone is always a good person who will only do good to you?

    No, for that would be misguided. As I have thought over the years, I have learned some tips to help me in making appropriate judgments (something that will be a lifelong struggle for most of us, including myself):

    1. When something doesn’t sound right or feel right, it probably isn’t. Trust your gut and do some investigating to confirm.
    2. Look at a person’s fruits. Words aren’t nearly as powerful as someone’s actions over time (See St. Matthew 7:16-20).
    3. It’s okay to be concerned about a person’s past. Just don’t let it define how you think about them forever. Let their present actions speak for them. People can, and often do change.
    4. If someone you love has deeply hurt you, talk to that person. Don’t wait. Don’t stew. Don’t assume. Talk to that person. If he/she loved you before you got hurt, most likely that love didn’t just disappear into thin air.
    5. When you are caught in the middle of two or more people and are not sure who to trust, talk to all of them. Get all perspectives. Make the best judgment you can and try to be supportive in whatever ways coincide with your values.
    6. Be understanding if someone feels like they need to make constructive judgments about you or someone you care about. If someone is misinformed, please kindly and respectfully inform them, but if that person has valid concerns, respect them, realizing judgments in and of themselves are not bad.
    7. Try not to make judgments based on looks alone, just one interaction, or solely the opinions of others. You should definitely the opinions of others into account, but don’t blindly believe everything you hear either.
    8. When you make a judgment, ask yourself if you are being fair or kind. Do you really have enough information to make a fair judgment? If not, it would be best to postpone judgment.
    9. Always remember that you are not perfect so you can’t expect others to be perfect. By the same token, some actions are far worse than others, and bad enough that precautions must be taken.
    10. Pray for help to know how to handle and judge a particular person or situation when you just aren’t sure what to do.

    I love the Savior’s Sermon on the Mount. In St. Matthew Chapter 7, he talks about judging. First, he says to “judge not.” Then he says that we will be judged the way we judge. He goes on to say we should worry about our own imperfections before pointing out everyone else’s. Finally, he said that we will know a person by his fruits, or his deeds.

    These are wonderful words of wisdom from our Master, but can be a little confusing, for he seems to at first be saying not to judge at all, but then says how we should judge.

    I love a talk that Elder Dallin H. Oaks gave at BYU in 1998. He discusses this very thing, and he makes it clear that final judgments are what are wrong, where we look at one particular part of someone’s life and decide what type of person they are and always will be. That is not up to us – only God can make final judgments. But, it is acceptable to make righteous “intermediate” judgments. Please read his talk linked above. It helps so much!

    The most important thing I take from all this it is that we need to remember that Christ atoned for all of us. We all have our moral agency to do wrong, but we also have the moral agency to turn our lives around and do better. That is a gift we all have, and it isn’t our place to determine what someone deserves eternally. And even if we make an intermediate judgment that someone or something isn’t good for our well-being and safety at this time, it’s important to keep our minds and hearts open to the possibility of change later. That’s why we need to continuously pray for what to do, and how to handle people and situations.

    I pray that people forgive me when I do wrong and do not judge me on one thing I have done, or the way I was at one time of my life. If that is what I want for myself, then I must do my best to give that same courtesy to others.

    Judging is a tricky business, and Satan uses it to bring contention, pain, and hopelessness. I hope we can all try to judge righteously so we can still feel love and hope for others regardless of the intermediate judgments we must make each and every day.

  • Want to Visit Palmyra? Read This!

    My family just did a 1-week trip to Palmyra, NY the second week of July, 2019. We experienced and learned so much, so I wanted to share some tips, suggestions, and experiences to help anyone else who wants to visit this wonderful area!

    For those of you who have no idea where Palmyra, NY is, it’s in upstate New York. It doesn’t look anything like you would expect. It’s green and gorgeous, with lovely mountains and valleys, and lots of farmland. You will love driving there if you do!

    So, why is Palmyra important? Well, it’s the place where the history of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints began. There are many places in and around Palmyra that members of the church hold very sacred. It is a place I highly recommend anyone visit. Now that we know where it is and why it’s significant, let’s move on to my tips, shall we?  

    Planning your trip: I spent countless hours planning our trip to a T. We barely followed what I planned. We did go to the places I planned, but the order in which we did everything, and the days, changed based on weather, how long we were at certain places, etc. I do recommend if you are going to the church history sites and are able to spread them out, do it, especially if you have small children. It’s nice to do the spiritual, historical things and then do something more creative or fun. All the Palmyra places are close to each other, so it’s okay if you drive a little out of the way. It does not matter which order you do the church history sites, but you will probably want to go to the Priesthood Restoration Site on your way to your trip or on the way home. The only other site outside of Palmyra is the Peter Whitmer Farm. Just go first thing in the morning and then head back to Palmyra, or wherever you want to spend the rest of your day. Do not skip ANY of the sites if you can help it. Those two sites were two of our favorites.       

    Driving in the car with kids: I wish I had the magic answer for this, haha! I do know the kids did best when they had movies to watch (we just brought and hooked up our laptop), books to read, and fun music to listen to. They also liked having blankets and stuffed animals with them. Bring lots of food and snacks. We often ate lunch in the car throughout the trip. The more space the kids have, generally the better. Maybe put a bag in between them. That actually helped us!

    Stops along the way: If traveling from the east coast (we are in NC), great stops going up or coming back from Palmyra are Hershey, PA and Gettysburg, PA. We stopped in Hershey on the way and Gettysburg on the way back.

    Hotel Recommendation:  Homewood Suites by Hilton in Victor, NY. We loved it because they served breakfast each morning (with variations on the menu), and they had a social M-Th from 5-7 that worked super well as dinner. We took advantage of the social three out of four nights. They also had a pool, hot tub, nice fitness room, and more. They even have fresh cookies at the front desk every morning.  It was a very clean and comfortable place in a great location in between Palmyra and Rochester. As another note, we booked our hotel in January to stay in July. Book your hotel early!

    Tolls: There are tolls around that area of upstate New York. The first toll you stop at you will get a ticket. At the second, you will pay the toll. It’s cash only, but isn’t super expensive. Just have cash and change on hand.

    Weather and Bugs: Definitely pack the bug spray. There are tons of mosquitoes in the summertime. We heard it would be really humid there, but honestly, it was nothing compared to NC. It was actually sometimes too chilly, so maybe pack a light jacket or sweater.

    Anti-Latter-day Saint Protesters and Sites: The church history sites of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints are sacred places. They are places where you will feel the Spirit of the Lord very strongly, places where you will feel peace and a tugging at your heart. You will feel of God’s love so abundantly. Unfortunately, Satan is also at work. Near or at most of the sites you will see buildings that advertise websites, exhibits or videos that are meant to pull you away from that Spirit. At the pageant, it is no different. There were a group of people with signs, and one man on a megaphone saying some very hurtful, untrue things about Latter-day Saints. My best advice is to not listen to them. They are not trying to help, but rather to hurt. If you are a member of the church, just think about how you feel when you are in these sacred places and at church. Remember God’s love for you and don’t doubt it. If you aren’t a member of our church, please try to find out for yourself if what our church claims is true. Listen to your heart, study it out, and pray. You will not find truth about our church from those who hate it, but only through the Spirit as you read the Book of Mormon, learn about Joseph Smith, and pray fervently. Truth will always be opposed, and to find truth, we need to go to the source.

    The Hill Cumorah Pageant:

    This pageant is the biggest reason we went to Palmyra. The pageant ends after next year, sadly, so we highly recommend you go in 2020. It’s free, there is ample parking, and it’s right next to the Hill Cumorah Visitors Center. The stage is huge, and there really isn’t a bad seat. If you do wish to reserve a seat, you can do so from noon on. I do recommend doing it if you can, but it’s not required. Watch the weather and be prepared for rain. Bring blankets, ponchos, jackets, etc. It will not only be wet, but cold. The pageant is only canceled if there is thunder and lightning.

    Here is our experience: As we walked to our seats, it was wonderful to speak to cast members before we sat down. They were all so nice. Right before the show was to begin, sadly, it started pouring down rain. It was a cold and fat rain. Luckily, we had ponchos and rain jackets. The show began anyway, and even though the weather made it a little hard to focus, it was still a beautiful production. The rain let up occasionally, but always started to pour back down after a few minutes. Just when I felt I could no longer take the cold and wet (I had given my poncho to one of my sons), the rain stopped and stayed stopped. It stopped around the time the Savior was introduced into the story. It was poignant for me. My little girl ended up next to me at one point when Jesus was on stage. I whispered to her that Jesus loves her, and not long after that, she fell asleep on me. I felt the Spirit so strongly at the pageant, especially closer to the end with Christ visiting the Americas, Moroni burying the plates, and then finally the miraculous events leading to the restoration of the gospel. Oh, it was so worth seeing. Once it was over, we followed thousands of people to the parking lot. My husband was able to help get a car out of the mud. Our hearts were full that night.

    Our experience with the historical sites of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints:

    Priesthood Restoration Site in Oakland Township, PA (used to be called Harmony) – As we got closer to the site, and were driving along the river, My husband and I both felt such a peace. We felt that the place we would soon arrive at was a sacred place, and that miraculous events truly happened there. The whole experience was wonderful, from the video to the Visitors center, to the walk to the Hale and Smith home, to the cemetery visit where Joseph and Emma’s first sweet baby is buried, to actually being at the river near where John the Baptist appeared to Joseph and Oliver and gave them the priesthood authority to baptize. We loved our visit to this wonderful place.

    The Hill Cumorah – The Visitors center was beautiful and we felt so happy there. We loved sitting in front of the Christus and hearing Christ’s words. There were so many things to read and watch there. My husband was so full of the Spirit there. He sat and contemplated alone for a bit. We then walked up to the actual hill, the Hill Cumorah, where the prophet Moroni buried the gold plates hundreds of years ago, and where he, as an angel, would show them to Joseph Smith with a sacred charge to translate them. I loved being there. We didn’t want to go down. Walking back down, we felt so much joy and peace.

    Grandin Building, the Book of Mormon Publication Site – It wasn’t easy in there because nothing was really touchable, and our little ones wanted to touch everything and run around. Regardless, we gained so much appreciation for the time and care that went into publishing this sacred work. It took two years and $3000 up front to publish 5000 books. The whole process was painstaking. I think I would have lost my mind doing any one part of it. We got to take home a replica of the first 16 pages printed. One of our sons was so excited about that. I was too! We also loved seeing the gorgeous original works of art. We felt the Spirit so much.

    Peter Whitmer Farm – This site is about 35 minutes from Palmyra in Waterloo. We watched a wonderful video. The kids were good the whole time and very quiet. I felt the Spirit so strongly. This farm was where Joseph Smith and Oliver Cowdery finished translating the plates. It’s where the three and eight witnesses were chosen. And it’s where the church was founded. The first Sacrament meeting was in the Whitmer home. It was such a beautiful and special place to be. I loved how excited one of my sons was to hold a replica of the first edition of The Book of Mormon. He wanted me.to take photos of every angle.

    The Sacred Grove and Smith Family Farm – This is where the restoration all began. It wasn’t my favorite site, mostly because there was no video in the welcome center and  the tour wasn’t very organized, but ultimately, it felt amazing to be able to walk into the grove where Joseph Smith as a 14-year-old boy knelt to pray vocally for the first time. He was not sure which church he should join, and somewhere in that grove of trees by his home, he was visited by two Heavenly personages, Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. Walking in that grove only further solidified my testimony, and that of my family. I was so proud of my boys for individually going off, finding a spot in the grove, and praying to their Heavenly Father. It was so precious, and an experience I will never forget.

    Places other than the church history sites that we went to and loved:

    Palmyra:

    Park down the road from EB Grandin Building – I don’t know the address, but if you are walking past the Grandin building as it’s on your right, you will see a cute little park with old-fashioned play equipment. My kids had so much fun there and it was a great place to relax for a while. It was hot, but pretty shady.

    Pal-Mac Aqueduct County Park –The Eerie Canal runs through it and there is a small waterfall. There isn’t much there, but the kids had a lot of fun in the open field and jumping off rocks. It was a nice place to just relax and run for a bit.

    Palmyra Community Library – I am so glad I found this library! They do lots of fun activities all summer, and they also served free lunch to all children up to age 18 from 12-12:30 M-Th. We ate lunch there twice on our stay. It’s also a great library in general – it’s big and there’s a great children’s section with toys and books.

    Alvin Smith’s Gravesite – Alvin Smith was Joseph Smith’s brother who died in his 25th year. It was tender to talk to the kids about how Alvin hadn’t been baptized, which worried his family, but what a blessing it was when the Lord revealed to Joseph Smith about baptisms for the dead in the house of the Lord.

    Palmyra New York Temple – My husband did a session at the temple one day while the kids and I were at a storytime at the library. If you aren’t an endowed member of the church, it’s still wonderful to walk the temple grounds. It was so humbling and beautiful to think that on the Smiths’ very farmland now stands a glorious temple of the Lord. Did Joseph forsee that day? We felt so happy at the temple.

    Macedon:

    Long Acre Farms – This town is super close to Palmyra. It was hot and we were almost the only ones at the farm, but there is so much for kids to do, like jumping pillows, playgrounds, a huge tube to slide down, and much more. All of my kids had a blast, and it’s affordable to go there.

    Rochester:

    Highland Park Playground  – We went here to play for a bit before going to the Strong Museum. It’s a great place to climb, practice balance, and use your imagination. We loved it.

    The Strong Museum of Play – If you are ever in upstate NY, and have kids, you must take them here. We were there for a super long time and barely got through the whole thing. It’s probably the coolest, most fun museum we have ever been to in our lives. All of my kids found things they loved. My husband and I also had a blast. Little tip- if you spend $20 on tokens to play in the arcade, you will be able to play 100 games. That was a great deal, lol. It was so cool to see how toys have changed throughout time. Talk about nostalgia. I loved every second there. They also have a great food court, as well as a Bill Gray’s, a gift shop (don’t bother shopping there as it’s way pricey), and a carousel.

    Seabreeze Amusement Park – The park is an amusement park and water park. It hosts the oldest running roller coaster in the US, the Jack Rabbit. It was cool to ride it. The park isn’t huge, but we were there from 11-6:30 anyway. It was almost too chilly for the water park, but we managed. Maybe try going on a hotter, or at least sunny day. We went on a cloudy day – hint, even if it’s super cloudy, wear sunscreen. The price was pretty affordable – get your tickets online for a discount.

    Ontario Beach Park – This was not like beaches we usually swim at because it was a lake rather than an ocean, but  I loved it because the water was calm, the sand was soft, the only things we saw in the water were algae and rocks, and it doesn’t get deep quickly. It was great for all my kids. The water was a little chilly, but we got used to it. The bathrooms were gross and there was lots of bad language and some making out seen, but overall, we loved being there. Sometimes they do outdoor concerts. They also have a huge pier you can walk on, a carousel, and a playground. It’s free to park and swim. They also have lifeguards on site.

    Must-Visit Restaurants:

    PalmyraChill and Grill – This is a small restaurant with hamburgers, hot dogs, junk plates, and lots of awesome ice cream flavors. It was pricey, but really good. In case you didn’t know (I didn’t), NY has something called a garbage plate, or junk plate, or great plate. It usually includes a layer of baked beans and mac (macaroni) salad on the bottom, and is topped with two cheeseburgers, hamburgers, or hot dogs (or a combination of any). It also has lots of toppings and condiments. You can customize to your liking. It sounds gross, but I loved it. One junk plate here fed my husband and I very well. This restaurant is very close to the Grandin Building, Pal-Mac County Park, and the Palmyra County Library.

    RochesterBill Gray’s – This restaurant is right behind Seabreeze, so is a perfect place to eat dinner after you leave. It was delicious! They have a large menu, and also a kids’ menu. I got my second junk plate here (they call it a great plate). They also had Abbott’s Frozen Custard, which was so silky, creamy, and downright fabulous! We all left with full, happy bellies!

    Gift Shop Ideas:

    PalmyraLatter-Day Harvest – We didn’t get a chance to go in because their hours were limited, but it is right by the Grandin building and sells wonderful gifts and things to help you remember the spiritual history of Palmyra. They also have a website – oldnauvoo.com.

    RochesterSimply New York Marketplace & Gifts – This store was very clean and well-organized. The lady working was super friendly and patient with my kids. The store has tons of things made in NY, and everything is made in the USA. Some things are pricey and other things are more affordable. It’s a great place to shop if you want to bring a little bit of NY home with you. It’s right down the road from Seabreeze.

    Places we considered going but didn’t go to, but are still awesome:

    Niagara Falls – We didn’t go because we don’t have passports and the Canada side is much better. Also, we wanted to stay close to where we stayed. Finally, it didn’t seem to be a good activity for our toddler.

    Watkins Glen Park – It looked so lovely, but we didn’t go because we felt the hike would be too hard for our toddler, and it wasn’t really close enough to go to, or on our way to anything else.

    Genesee Country Village & Museum –It looked really fun and interesting, but it was pricey, was a little out of the way of where we were, and we were already doing a ton of history stuff. My kids weren’t super interested.

    George Eastman Museum – This looked like a really interesting and lovely museum, but it didn’t seem very kid-friendly, at least not for littles.

    Rochester Museum and Science Center – Due to time, it was either go to this or the Strong Museum of Play, and the Strong Museum looked way cooler to us.

    Chimney Bluffs State Park – This looked like an amazing landscape, but the kids weren’t super interested.

    Pittsford Farms Dairy – It looked like a fabulous ice cream place, but since we found Abbott’s, we didn’t feel we needed to go. We also didn’t do anything else in Pittsford.

    Six Flags Darien Lake – Of course this would be a fabulous park, but we almost felt it would be too big, and thus too hard, to keep up with all of our kids there. It was also out of the way and pricey.

    Roseland Water Park – We had to decide between this and Seabreeze. Because some of us really preferred roller coasters and non-water rides, we chose Seabreeze. Roseland would be better on a hot, sunny day when all you want to do is water rides.

    Historic Palmyra – These are five museums showing Palmyra history. Because we were already going to so many historical sites, we decided not to go. The price is really good, though!

    Nick Tahou Hots – This is the home of the garbage plate. We didn’t go, though, because the reviews weren’t super good, and we were able to get the same thing at other restaurants. 

    Wegmans – Apparently this is the best grocery store ever. We passed one but never had time to go in one. We did see a play one at the Strong Museum, though!

    Dinosaur Barbeque – This restaurant came highly recommended. It looks fabulous for people who love barbeque, ribs, wings etc. It didn’t look so appetizing for the kids, and was pretty expensive, though. 

    There is so much to do in this area, and that’s not even most of it – these are just the places I was most interested in! There is something for everyone. 

     

    As you can see, this was a full trip. We came home better people with stronger testimonies of Christ. We will truly miss upstate New York. It changed us and filled our hearts with joy!

  • A Teaching Moment with a Slash

    Sunday afternoon was pretty quiet. The boys had just finished watching some gospel-oriented shows while Jad and I took a little nap on the couch. Then, Casey and Rigel went upstairs.

    Casey came downstairs not long after, and told me that Rigel was making a card for his friend (we’ll call him Bob) that had his friend’s brother’s name (we’ll say his name is Will) on it crossed out. That didn’t sound good, so I went upstairs to talk to Rigel.

    I asked him what he was doing, and he didn’t admit to anything. I then turned over the papers and saw the drawings. I told him to come into my room so we could talk.

    He sat on the bed with me, and I stayed calm as I asked him why he had done that. Rigel explained that Will isn’t nice to him. I said I was sorry about that, and asked for examples of when he was mean. Rigel could only give one example from a while back, but said that Bob says Will is mean at home.

    Staying calm, I explained to Rigel that we don’t judge others based on hearsay.  I tried to tell him there are always two sides (or more) to every story, and we should base our judgments solely on how someone treats us directly. I also gave the suggestion that maybe Will was mean that one time because he was jealous of Rigel’s and Bob’s strong friendship.

    If that weren’t the case, and Will really was being a bully, I made sure Rigel understood that just because someone may be a bully to us, that doesn’t give us a right to be a bully back. If we don’t like being bullied, why would we try to make others feel the way we hate to feel?

    As part of our conversation I asked, “Would Jesus draw what you drew, Rigel?” He sighed and said “no.” I explained that Jesus would try to love and understand that person, and if He had a problem or concern with him, He would approach him and respectfully express it in hopes of reconciling.

    I also felt the need to talk to Rigel about family. Bob and Will are brothers – pulling them apart is not good for either one of them. To illustrate my point, I wrote Rigel’s name on the paper and crossed his name out just as he had done to Will’s name. I then asked him how he would feel if one of Kamren’s friends gave Kamren a card that looked like that. He admitted he would be sad, and I added that Kamren would be sad too.

    I reminded him that nobody in this world should be more important to him than his family. I want he, Casey, Kamren, and Eve to be close forever. I don’t want any of his friends to try to pull them apart, and I know that Bob’s mom doesn’t want anyone trying to pull her sons apart either.

    I asked Rigel what he could do that would help Will. He wasn’t sure what to say because he was uncomfortable playing with Will, so I told him that it didn’t have to include being around him if that was too hard right now. I then gave him the suggestion to pray for him, to wish him well, and to encourage Bob to be close to Will, even if he might never be.

    Rigel seemed to understand what I was saying, and we ended our conversation with me snuggling him, and telling him how much I loved him and what a good, loving boy he was. It was a special moment, and I am grateful I had the opportunity to influence him for good.

    That’s what parenting is all about. I hope I can continue to have these calm, sweet teaching experiences with my children.

    *Click here for a conversation I had with Casey about bullying four years ago.

     

  • Why Everyone should be in a Musical

    This past Saturday, ended a time of my life that was most precious – my time rehearsing for and performing in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang with the Durham Stake of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

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    I wouldn’t trade that time for the world. There is something incredibly unique about participating in a musical. The experiences you have can’t be found in their entirety in any other way.

    I have loved musicals since I was 13. The first musical I ever heard was The Phantom of the Opera, in my 8th grade Drama class. Throughout my entire adolescence, I drank in as many musicals as I could. I would sing them as loudly as I could in my room, and play them on the piano (while also singing). I felt like I could be anybody when I sang from these musicals, and as I sang, I felt I was them.

    In high school, I had the pleasure of playing Hodel in Fiddler on the Roof my Sophomore Year, and then Catherine in Pippin my Senior year.

    hodel

    catherine

    A couple years ago, I was able to perform in another musical by my Stake called Sing Down the Moon: Appalachian Wonder Tales. That was a special experience because I got to perform with my son, Casey, for the first time, and also work with people of many different ages.

    sing down

    Now, after this performance of Chitty, I know that my love of musicals will always run through my veins, and I want to share with you now why I think everyone should be in a musical sometime in their lives:

    1. You get to go through the audition process!

    You might be thinking, “Isn’t that the least exciting, and scariest part?” Actually, to me, it is a huge motivator. Once I know what show is being done, I do my research. If I don’t know what the show is about already, I find out. I listen to the music. Then, I determine which role/roles I want to be considered for. Once I do that, I very carefully choose a song and monologue to showcase how I perceive the character.

    For Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, I knew without a doubt I wanted to play the Baroness. I knew her role would be challenging because she has to have impeccable comedic timing, she has to be noticed at all times, and she has to be a likable character while also portraying clearly that she hates/fears children.

    It took me a long time to decide what song I wanted to audition with, but I finally chose “Let’s Go to the Movies” from Annie. With this song, I could move, be a little sassy, and show the richness of my voice. A monologue wasn’t required for the auditions, but I wanted to go above and beyond. I knew easily that I wanted to portray Helga Pataki from my favorite childhood show, Hey Arnold. She is one who has a cruel exterior, but a mushy heart for her true love. She is incredibly animated, and her voice goes quite high pitched, like how I imagined the Baroness speaking.

    Auditions were really fun. I loved having Casey with me for that. He chose to sing ”Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious” from Mary Poppins because it was a song he loved and was comfortable doing. That was perfect for him.

    I was thrilled to receive a callback for the Baroness. We were given songs to practice and a couple scenes to go over. You better believe I practiced and practiced, and practiced some more. I asked my high school theater teacher, Carol Halbert, for advice, and she said to perform so that the director sees nobody else but me. I took that to heart, and erased all fear and reservations.

    For example, instead of just crawling around half-heartedly during a scene where the Baroness freaks out about children coming to Vulgaria, I thought out how a small child throws a tantrum, and did that myself – kicking, screaming, and rolling around.

    Everyone laughed their heads off, and I was pleased. By the same token, I also had a blast watching other people’s interpretations of the Baron, Baroness, and the Spies. Everyone was hilarious in their own ways, that it was really hard to guess who would be cast. I honestly would have been happy for anyone. I could see from that day that I was going to make some great friendships in the show.

    I truly believe that the audition and call back process is a premium way for you to get your head in the game, be completely committed, and to enter the realm of the musical.

    1. You can forget everything else about your life when you are at rehearsal.

    There aren’t that many places you can go where you can completely focus on something else, and let the rest of the world pass you by. Theater is one avenue you can do that, because you literally are in another place, and you are portraying another person other than yourself. Even though rehearsing is very hard work, it is also relaxing in that you can leave the rest of your cares behind for a couple hours.

    1. You get to wear clothes, and do your hair and makeup in a way you never would otherwise.

    I am not the type of person who would wear silky pajamas with a red feathery robe, or a soft pink night gown in public. I wouldn’t wear a skin tight dress that sparkles so much, it hurts your eyes either. But, I did in the musical, and rather than cause me embarrassment, it enhanced the character of the Baroness.

    feather robe

    pink robe

    And the last night I wore that gold dress, my co-Baroness even told me I looked “hot.” It sure gave me the confidence to get on stage and do the “Bombie Samba” one last time.

    samba

    I have a cool story about one of my costumes. In Chitty, I played Baroness Bomburst two out of the four nights, but the other nights I played a small part called Miss Phillips. She was a cold, biting, humorless woman, who was unwilling to help Caractacus Potts in any way. I was having the hardest time finding a costume that felt right for her. Well, something told me to look around my closet one more time, and I remembered a khaki dress I had. Yeah, I don’t wear khaki, but the dress was given to me, and I always felt I shouldn’t get rid of it. Well, I felt that this was the reason – I needed it for Miss Phillips. (Ironically, nobody took a picture of me in this costume.)

    I must give a special thank you to my sister, Mariah, for providing most of my big, blingy jewelry for the show. I can’t tell you how many times I got compliments on my earrings, bracelets, rings and necklaces for the show. It’s nice to have a sister who loves bling!

    I felt I definitely learned some new makeup skills from this show. It is funny – when I first started putting on the makeup for dress rehearsals, I was so embarrassed about it because it was so bright, but by the time the show was over, I thought that my normal amount of makeup was too light.

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    I asked a friend of mine, Sarah Jarvis, to do my hair for the Baroness because she is amazing with hair. I loved spending time with her as she did this act of service for me.

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    The kids in the show, who played Vulgarian children, took their hair and makeup very seriously as they rubbed brown all over their faces, and teased their hair up so much that I feared they would never be able to brush it again.

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    Choosing your costumes, and doing your hair and makeup right for a show takes creativity and artistic talent. It is so much fun to do!

    1. You have so much fun together, you form beautiful friendships and even feel like family.

    My church is huge, and I definitely don’t know all the church members in my area. Some people started out being acquaintances, and ended up being close friends. Others, who I had never met, became people who I will always feel comfortable with and will smile at in the future. I got to make friends with men, women, teens, and children. I just love youth so much, and bonding with them made me feel young and relevant.

    The cast really had so much fun together. One example is that while backstage before the “Bombie Samba,” all the Vulgarians would pretend to be the Baron and Baroness as they spoke and sang. It was extra funny and poignant to me because I knew that two nights of the four, they were doing that to my voice.

    My greatest friendship formed from Chitty was a result of giving rides to neighbors who were in the show. Katie Ricks, who is 16, is a young lady that I now call a close friend. She and I went to many rehearsals with just the two of us, and we had such fun, and sometimes, deep conversations, about important things like boys.  I am grateful for her friendship!

    It was so evident to me just how much the cast had become my family on closing night. Before the show started, the cast sang “Families Can Be Together Forever,” and as tears streamed down my face, I thought of how we really were like a family, and how I would cherish these memories and experiences for the rest of my life. That whole night, I kept tearing up because I knew it was the last time we could sing “Chitty Chitty Bang Bang” together, help each other with hair and makeup, or talk with our Vulgarian or British accents.

    the cast

    I was so grateful to members of the cast during the show that night too. My son, Casey, came down with a bad earache, and so many people helped him, either by offering medicine, consoling him, or giving him direction to lie down and let his ear drain. Because these people cared about my son, they helped him and gave him the ability to continue on and finish out the show.

    1. You have to put your trust in others.

    The first type of trust I am thinking of is trust in one’s safety. In the show, I had to trust a lot of people when I was the Baroness. I had to trust Christian, who played the Baron, that he wouldn’t drop me when dipping me low to the ground, or that he wouldn’t hurt me right after that as he threw me on the stage. I had to trust that when I fainted into teenage girls and rolled across all of them, that they would hold me up, and not send me crashing down. I had to then trust the Baron to catch me right after that. I had to trust people to help the Baron and I get down the stage steps safely while we were tied together.

    The hardest thing for me was to trust a group of men to pick me up, as I fainted to the side, and carry me to the center of the stage. The first time I realized I had to do that, I freaked out a little, but I learned to trust them.

    I also had to trust that those I acted with would work hard, learn their lines, and desire for us to do our best. I had to trust that those who gave me advice were helping me look and sound even better. Thankfully, with this fine group of people, that wasn’t hard to do at all.

    One of the best pieces of advice I got had to do with the lift in the Samba, actually. Lisa, the stage manager, told me to fall to the side with one leg raised. After the men lifted me, I would then cross my other leg over. That piece of advice immediately changed everything – I was no longer afraid of the lift – in fact, I looked forward to it. I am grateful for all the advice I got from my director, the producer, and the music directors.

    flowers for those I trust

    1. You have to be disciplined and focused.

    If you have never acted, sung or danced in front of others, you may take for granted how difficult that really is. You can work for hours and weeks on a scene or song, and still not be satisfied with it. It takes repetition, analysis of scenes and characters, accepting and applying of feedback, and consistent effort to get good enough to perform. If you don’t believe it, the audience won’t. To be successful in theater, you must also stay focused on your character. No matter what happens on stage – a mistake in a line, the forgetting of a line, or even an unexpected trip or fall, you must stay in character, or else the audience will stop believing.

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    The last Friday I played the Baroness, the little Vulgarian children tied us up really tight in the Happy Birthday banner. They had to pull us to downstage right, and that night they pulled us too hard and the Baron and I both tumbled to the ground. We could have gasped, or laughed, or cried out in pain, but we stayed in character. What made it even harder to stay in character, was the adorable kids on stage who worriedly asked us if we were okay and extended loving arms to lift us up. Seeing as how they were playing characters who hated us, and I was playing a character who feared them, it was interesting to make that work. I accepted their help hesitantly, but out of necessity, all the while pretending like it was disgusting to have them touch me. And It wasn’t until after we got off stage that I burst out in uncontrollable laughter, and then realized my knee hurt.

    Speaking of the Baron, Christian was the definition of focused and disciplined. Sometimes I almost thought he was too focused on rehearsing. He liked to take every spare moment to run a song or lines. I came to really value that quality, though. Had he not done that, I am not sure our scenes would have been as polished.

    I have to tell a story of a tender mercy, too. There were times during the duration of the show that I was insanely busy and felt I was drowning. I was certainly focused and disciplined, but I just didn’t have the time to memorize all my lines by the date Taunja requested it. So, I did the best I could by memorizing only what I thought we would be rehearsing on a given night. Well, one rehearsal (the first off-book rehearsal, in fact), we were supposed to only go over the “Choochie Face” scene. I memorized that and practiced it quite a bit. But, because some other things got done more quickly than expected, Taunja wanted us to go over several other scenes. I nearly panicked. I said a little prayer, and asked Bethany if she could do the scenes before me. Well, with God’s help, I was able to memorize the lines to each scene in the few minutes while Bethany went over each one. I am not that fast of a memorizer – I know God helped me, and I believe He did because He knew my heart. He knew I was dedicated, but that I needed a little extra help. I find that is true in my life in general – when I do the best I can, God makes up the difference.

    1. You learn to be humble and work as a team, rather than competitors.

    No matter what, there will be someone who sees something you don’t, or has an idea you didn’t come up with, or does something better than you, or receives more praise than you. I have seen actors in the past, with lead roles, that are kind of snobby towards others because of it. They do themselves a disservice in doing so. I never felt that anyone was that way in Chitty, but rather took the opportunity to seek advice from others, and realize that alone, nobody can perform perfectly.

    I was the Baroness only half the time, and spent much of my time rehearsing alongside Bethany, the other Baroness. For the first couple months of rehearsal, we didn’t work together much, though, other than with learning songs. She and I both had a different Baron. Then, one day, we started sharing our Baron, and though it was hard at first, we made it work. We didn’t get jealous of each other, and Christian was so good to both of us.

    Rather than be competitive with each other, and try to prove that we were the better actress, we worked together. We helped each other, and gave each other tips. We accepted those tips graciously. It was a lovely partnership.

    One example of a victory that came from us working together, was when the three of us started researching tantrum videos for toddlers. We weren’t getting the tantrum scene just right, and wanted inspiration. Well, we found a video of a kid who was hitting irrationally, and we had an Aha moment. We spent quite a while taking turns trying new ways to do our tantrum, and by the end, we felt so much better about it! It ended up being one of the most fun and hilarious scenes of the show (maybe we are biased, but my friend, Kimberly, did say she was laughing so hard, she cried, when she saw that scene).

     

    bethany and me

    1. You rejoice in the success of others.

    I think this goes along with humility. In a musical, you can choose to only focus on yourself and how well you are doing, or you can take the time to observe others around you and appreciate their grand performances. It always meant so much to me when someone would smile at me and tell me I did a great job on a song I sang, or a tantrum I did. It really helped motivate me to continue on and do my best. I also tried to do that for the rest of my cast. I truly did admire everyone for their hard work, poise, professionalism, can-do attitudes, helping hands, and cheerful demeanors. We sure had a cast full of hilarity, awesome dance moves, and angelic singing voices.

    I remember a few times while watching the show from the sidelines (either during rehearsals or performances) that I felt just how wonderful people were. Some examples were:

    1. Hearing the audience cheer as they saw the tiny blimp carry Grandpa’s tiny laboratory across the sky (Lisa, our stage manager, spent many hours perfecting it, and it was perfect).
    2. Watching the bamboo dancers do acrobatics I could never do, and cheerfully too!
    3. Seeing our new turkey farmer for the first time do his scene, and how he did it perfectly.
    4. Hearing how Anjuli perfected her accent for Violet.
    5. Listening to the angelic music of “Hushabye Mountain” or “Lovely, Lonely Man.”
    6. Laughing hysterically at the inventors, or at the spies as they moved across the stage.
    7. Watching Bethany do the tantrum so perfectly, I laughed like I had never seen it before.
    8. Hearing Taunja excitedly praise the puppies for being so adorable, and the kids for making her cry when singing “Teamwork.”

    Bambooing Bethany Samba! Doll on a Music Box Haircut Roses Kick Line Sound!!! We swam all the way from Englandchitty

    1. You understand that each and every person plays an essential part in the success of the show.

    It would be a mistake to assume that the lead actors are the most important part of a musical, or that really any one group of people (cast or crew) is more important. All of us make those wheels turn, from the person who opens and closes the curtain, to the people who move the props, to the sound and light technicians, to anyone and everyone. We are all crucial to believability and enjoyability of the musical.

    Someone who cannot be missed is President Hansen, who not only played an inventor in the show, but also introduced the show each night, and gave the opening prayer. On opening night, when he gave the prayer, I felt a sudden calm and peace come over me. I knew that everything would be okay. Even if I, or anyone in my beloved cast, didn’t perform everything perfectly, the audience would still love the show. Because of his prayer, and the prayers of others, we were successful each and every night of the show.

    I hope nobody in Chitty every felt insignificant. I got to be on two sides of the acting spectrum, being a lead on two nights, and being ensemble, with a small speaking role, the other two nights. I may not have had as much to do on stage on my ensemble nights, but I sang my heart out on side stage, I was there for Bethany to help her change her clothes and make sure she had her props, I owned my little speaking part, and I reacted as much as possible when in the Vulgarian scenes. Were those little parts important? Of course! And every single person in the show who did anything, played an essential role.

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    1. You realize that the show isn’t about you.

    Our director, Taunja Ingram, helped us always remember that we were doing this show for God and for the benefit of our community. Through our performance, we would be lifting others’ spirits, and helping them feel God’s love. Our performance was for God, and it was for His children. It wasn’t for our own fame or accolades, but it could nourish our souls as we nourished others. I think the show meant so much more to us because of that.

    Before one of the shows we did, Taunja read this scripture, which touched us all:

    But behold, I say unto you that ye must pray always, and not faint; that ye must not perform any thing unto the Lord save in the first place ye shall pray unto the Father in the name of Christ, that he will consecrate thy performance unto thee, that they performance may be for the welfare of thy soul (2 Nephi 32:9).’

    It filled my heart with gladness when I saw the smiles on the faces of my family, friends, and people of the community after each show Their joy was evident and I am grateful that this cast and crew was able to bring laughter and love to each of them.

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    kam and me

    kimberly

    me and jada

     

    1. The music becomes a part of you forever.

    This goes for the actors, crew, and the audience. My children have not stopped singing the songs since they first saw it. My son, Rigel, will sing “Me Ol’Bamboo” almost all day long.

    Driving in the car to and from rehearsals and performances, Casey, Annika, Katie and I would have a blast singing the songs at the top of our lungs in our accents.

    I always would light up hearing children in the cast sing “The Bombie Samba” or “Choochie Face.” They would have so much light in their eyes as they imitated these fun songs. (As a side note, the first time I heard “The Bombie Samba,” I thought it was really dumb. Now, I know it will never leave my mind and heart as long as I live).

    As a cast, we would sing Teamwork”  before each performance, and then chant “Oh yes! Go Go!” It really did bring us together and pump us up for the show.

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    1. You get to put yourself in someone else’s shoes.

    I played a few characters in the show. Pulling from that, and also from past shows I have done, I have to say that I feel most satisfied with my performances when I am no longer pretending to be a character, but when I have stepped directly in that character’s shoes and become her. When I am on stage, I am not Mandy, and the actors around me are not known by their names. No, we are our characters. It makes all the difference in delivery. If you believe, the audience will believe. This is not easy to do. It takes so much preparation.

    This also includes learning their accents, and finding the intonation of voice that makes the most sense for them in different situations. I got to learn the Vulgarian accent, and also use the British accent on my off nights. Zometimes I find myself speaking in Vulgarian in mein head, and it delights me because it means I haven’t completely removed her shoes from my feet.

    me barone

    I always like to have heart to hearts with my characters and ask them their back stories, and why they feel the way they feel. Why are they compelled to do what they are going to do, or have done? Who do they love? Who do they hate? What do they fear? What do they love and loathe about themselves? What habits do they have and why?

    You can do this as a lead character or an ensemble member, and it will change you as a person as you build this empathy.

    1. You are the most honest version of yourself.

    Some people equate actors with being good liars. I don’t think that is true at all. I think actors are the most honest people there are. They are vulnerable and fearless. They portray emotions that others hide inside. It could be true love, irrational fears, insanity, childishness, sexy confidence, uncertainty, tenderness, utter hatred, and so much more. Actors have to find a way to dig deep inside themselves to find a memory, or a thought that will help them show the audience exactly what their character is thinking, feeling, or doing. This is hard, and it takes complete honesty.

    1. You can do things on stage people would think you were crazy for in real life.

    I chuckle as I think about some of the stuff I did as the Baroness. I am pretty sure if my face were that animated, my voice that high pitched, my singing notes that off, my movements that exaggerated, my vanity so apparent, that people would never talk to me or come around me again. That is one thing I absolutely love about theater. You can be completely over the top and nobody will get freaked out. Your movements, diction, and facial expressions are supposed to be more deliberate and expressive. As you learn to do this, it can be intimidating at first, but oh, how it enlivens you.

     

    tantrum

    me crazy face

    Now, I won’t do everything on stage. For example, Christian and I played husband and wife, but we knew without talking about it we wouldn’t kiss onstage because we were both happily married. We were still able to give a believable husband/wife relationship without kissing, which was a fun challenge to conquer.

    1. You gain a tremendous amount of confidence.

    I realized this early on in my life. I used to be so shy, and really uncomfortable in my own skin. But, once I started taking acting classes, and being challenged to do things I had never done before, I transformed. I no longer have anxiety about singing, speaking, or acting in public. I can do it. I can do humorous, tender, flirty, angry or devastated improvisations any time now because I have taught myself how to, and am not afraid to be vulnerable.

    If you work hard, and really own everything you do in theater, you will overcome shyness, and you will realize that you can do anything if you believe in yourself. I love not caring about what everyone thinks about me all the time. Theater helps with that. You just are you, and that is wonderful!

    The confidence also comes because if you are given a task in a show, you do it. You may be a little scared, but you take on the challenge, and practice it until you get it right. For the longest time, I was so nervous about dancing “The Bombie Samba” choreography. There was one part I didn’t get right for the longest time. A week or two before dress rehearsal, I finally got it because I kept asking for help. I didn’t give up. I also never thought I could sing and dance at the same time, but by performance time, I could do it, and I did, because I didn’t give up. I practiced and practiced, and had faith that if I was given the task, it was because I could accomplish it.

    My heart lit up after my final Baroness performance when Taunja excitedly told me that she thought my Samba was perfect that night. She said I owned it, and that it was mine. The one scene that always scared me I did perfectly? I thanked God for that blessing.

    samba

    You may wonder how one can be humble and also confident in theater. It is possible, and I can assure you, if that gets hard, God will have a sense of humor and help keep you humble. The same night I felt I did super well, I actually had burning, watery eyes all night. I had a fake lash blunder, so all night my eyes were swollen, and my eyes leaking. It kept me humble, but also gave me an opportunity to stay in character and continue to be confident no matter what. I thank God for that opportunity.

     

    Are 15 reasons enough to convince you to try musical theater someday? I know I could come up with more, but these are at the forefront of my heart and mind.

    I will cherish my time with the cast and crew of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang for the rest of my life. I will never forget my love for the Baroness. She is a part of me now. I know her completely.

    love these people

    The people I worked with I will always admire and be grateful for. I am grateful for their talents, their advice, their encouragement, their smiles and laughter, their dedication, and their hearts. We were a good team. I am also so grateful for my family, who was a huge part of my team – especially my husband. With his support, I was able to consistently go to my rehearsals, that took up much of my time. And I am grateful for all who came to see the show – without an audience, the dream can’t be realized. Much love to you all!

    Teamwork, can make a dream work, if we all pitch in and try.
    Teamwork can make a dream work, and no mountain is too high!
    If the same great dream is beating in each heart,
    There’s no stopping what a fighting team can start.
    For, all together, a team can weather, any storm they may go through.
    Yes, teamwork, can make a dream work, can make the greatest dreams come true.

     

    vulgarian children

     

  • The Enemy

    But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; (Matthew 5:44).

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    “Lord, this is too hard,” many of you may say when you read those verses. How can we love, bless, do good to and pray for those who take advantage of us, speak badly of us, treat us like we are horrible people, criticize and argue with us, and even try to silence us?

    I watched a movie called War Room a few months ago that stopped me in my tracks. My mind hasn’t been able to shake the messages of an old woman named Miss Clara, to a young wife and mother named Elizabeth.

    Elizabeth, confiding to Miss Clara about her relationship with her husband, Tony, said, “If there’s one thing we do well, it’s fight.”

    Miss Clara retorted, “No, I don’t think you do. Just because you argue a lot doesn’t mean you fight well. I bet you never feel like you’ve won.”

    And why wouldn’t she ever win? Aren’t arguments something that people win or lose? Isn’t that what opposing forces do?

    Miss Clara later proclaimed this, “Your husband has his own issues, but he’s not your enemy.”

    Then who is the enemy?

    A jolt of recognition and clarity rang through my entire body as she counseled that the Devil is the real enemy:

    “He comes to steal, kill and destroy—stealing your joy, killing your faith and trying to destroy your family.”

    Miss Clara also said, “Very few of us know how to fight the right way or understand who we are really fighting against.”

    That is why Elizabeth could never win a fight with her husband: she was fighting the wrong way, and with the wrong person.

    There is no question in my mind that we are fighting in a war daily. We think we are in a war with the people around us who argue with us, who put us down, who talk about us behind our backs, who persecute us, or who cause us to yell or cry out in frustration.

    Yes, there is a fight to win, but we must always remember our real opponent, and figure out the right way to beat him.  As James E. Faust clarified, “Satan is our greatest enemy and works night and day to destroy us. But we need not become paralyzed with fear of Satan’s power. He can have no power over us unless we permit it. He is really a coward, and if we stand firm he will retreat” (“Be Not Afraid,” Ensign,‍ Oct. 2002, 4).

    get thee hence

    I never really thought about the fact that Satan has power over us only if we allow it, but it makes so much sense. We are not Satan’s; we are God’s, and if we use His help, we can defeat Satan.

    to win the fight

    Miss Clara said to Elizabeth: “If you want victory, you’re going to have to first surrender.”

    That would normally seem like a paradox, but not when we surrender to the one who knows what is best for us, who loves and knows us completely, and who wants nothing more than to bless us and free us from our enemy, Satan.

    When we surrender to God, we seek Him, submit to His will, and promise to follow where He leads us, rather than where our natural and human weaknesses would take us.  Miss Clara said, “It’s not my job to do the heavy lifting. No, that is something only He can do.”

    you need to plead

    I thought about why that is, and I believe it is because we can’t make anybody change. We can’t make people treat us right or see our worth. Only God can soften hearts and enlighten minds. Fighting with others will never accomplish this, because contention is of the Devil, not God.

    For verily, verily I say unto you, he that hath the spirit of contention is not of me, but is of the devil, who is the father of contention, and he stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another (3 Nephi 11:29).

    Is there a way we can fight without contention and without anger? Miss Clara thinks so. She shows and teaches Elizabeth about her favorite room in her house, her War Room, where she does her spiritual fighting. She studies her scriptures, prays with real intent, expresses her gratitude, confesses her own faults, and pleads to God for forgiveness,  understanding, and enlightenment not only for herself, but for the ones causing her pain.

    We know who the enemy is, and we know we must fight him, but it is hard to remember this if we don’t know what we are fighting for.

    Too often we fight for the sake of winning, being right, proving someone else wrong, shaming someone, or forcing a change.

    Are those the causes we should be fighting for? Captain Moroni in the Book of Mormon was the captain of the Nephite Army. He once tore his coat and wrote on it his cause for fighting. He fastened the fabric on a pole, raised it for all to see, and called it the Title of Liberty. These are the words he wrote:

    In memory of our God, our religion, and freedom, and our peace, our wives, and our children (Alma 46:12).

    Moroni wasn’t fighting to satisfy pride, or to perpetrate the harshness he felt others deserved. No, he fought for what really mattered – family, freedom to worship God, and for peace.

    captain moroni

    When we fight, are we doing it for the right reasons, and is our method going to work? Have you noticed that Satan always attacks the family to fulfill his purposes? How much time do we spend attacking those we love most? Do we realize that is his influence in our lives? I know that I do not want to fight my family or friends, so I need to turn my attention to fighting the cause of the contention: Satan himself.

    But to fight Satan, it isn’t a physical battle. It is a spiritual one. Remember, if we stand firm and tall, and unwavering, he will retreat. Satan may have the power to bruise our heels, but God gave Adam and Eve, and their offspring (us), the power to bruise his head (Genesis 3:15). How can we bruise his head? How can we make him crawl away from us in fear?

    God has given us the way.

    Dallin H. Oaks wisely said, “The blessings of the gospel are universal, and so is the formula for peace: keep the commandments of God. War and conflict are the result of wickedness; peace is the product of righteousness.”

    Satan is the cause of war – inner war, social war, and physical wars. By fighting Satan, we can stop the wars and bring peace.

    We do this by keeping God’s commandments, for as we do, He will bless us with the ability to do what we could never do alone. He gives us power through the Spirit to withstand Satan’s temptations as we pray sincerely, study our scriptures, attend church, serve our fellow man, forgive those who have trespassed against us, fast, express our gratitude to Him in all things, listen to the words of His prophets, repent of our sins, always strive to be better than we are now, and most importantly, keep our faith strong in the Lord, Jesus Christ.

    Perhaps the Apostle Paul explained it best:

    Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.

    For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

    Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.

    Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness;

    And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;

    Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.

    And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:

    Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints; (Ephesians 6:11-18).

    full-armour-of-God

    Captain Moroni, the leader who flew the Title of Liberty, was a man who not only donned real armour in battle, but chose to wear his spiritual armour daily as well. He was always grateful, worked hard, served others, defended righteous causes, and was firm in the faith.

    Speaking of Moroni, the prophet Mormon declared:

    Yea, verily, verily I say unto you, if all men had been, and were, and ever would be, like unto Moroni, behold, the very powers of hell would have been shaken forever; yea, the devil would never have power over the hearts of the children of men (Alma 48:17).

    Yes, these are the attributes we must have to vanquish the Devil’s power over us.

    But what about the Devil’s power over others? We want our loved ones to have joy in their lives, and to make right choices. Shouldn’t we fight the Devil out of them too? We try, don’t we? But it doesn’t help, does it, because they must make that choice on their own.

    Miss Clara explained to Elizabeth, “It’s your job to love him, to respect him, to pray for the man, [not to fix him].”

    It may be excruciatingly difficult to do these things for those who hurt us, but Miss Clara taught Elizabeth that even in “light of all [their] wrongs…God still [loves them.]” And thus should we.

    It doesn’t matter what we think they deserve – love, forgiveness, second chances – we should do our best to give it. Miss Clara preached, “Do you deserve grace? None of us deserve grace…He gives us grace, and He helps us give it to others even when they don’t deserve it.”

    Through much prayer, scripture study, and reflection, Elizabeth finally realizes that she is not her husband’s judge – God is. She stops trying to change him and fight him. Instead, she promises to fight for him, and for their marriage.

    blame keeps wounds open

    One of the most poignant points in the movie is when Elizabeth, alone in her home, declares, “I don’t know where you are, devil. You have played with my man. … No more. You are done. Jesus is the Lord of this house, and that means there’s no place for you here anymore. So take your lies … your accusations and get out in Jesus’ name. … My joy is found in Jesus, and just in case you forgot, He has already defeated you, so go back to hell where you belong and leave my family alone!”

    It was impossible not to feel the power of God as she made that shift to fighting Satan instead of her husband, and realizing where her true joy and peace comes from – Jesus Christ.

    Satan does a lot to destroy lives, and sometimes he targets our confidence, feelings of self-worth, and divine nature. That is why we must recognize that our joy comes first and foremost from our Savior, not from any outside influences.

    Psalms30-52

    In the movie, Elizabeth and her husband are able to work through everything. Because of her love and support, he recognizes where he has gone wrong, and works to repent and be a better husband and father. Theirs is a happy ending, or at least, a fresh start. But, sometimes even if we fight the right way, and do everything we should, our relationships do not improve. What then?

    poor in spirit

    Then, when you are vulnerable, Satan finds an opening to hurt your soul,  bring you down, and make you forget God’s love for you. This has happened to me in my life. But, as I chose to consistently put on the whole armour of God, I was able to endure and move onward and upward. I learned that we can’t control how others fight the fight, but we can control how we do it.

    raise up warriors

    Fighting those that hurt us will not make our circumstances better. Grudges, bitterness and withholding forgiveness will not bring us peace. They will not bring us closer to Christ. Sometimes we must move away from people, but not without first forgiving.

    As He suffered a cruel and heartless death on the cross, Christ pleaded, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do (Luke 23:34).” If He willingly forgave those who persecuted Him, betrayed Him, whipped Him, and killed Him, then there is no other option for us but to also forgive.

    If we prayed for others every time we noticed a flaw, felt the need to gossip, or were about to scream angrily at them, we would win each and every battle with Satan because love would overcome hate.

    fight all your battles on your knees

    Fight on your knees, not with your words, behaviors, or fists. Be a warrior of God, and peace will come to your soul.

    what wings are

    Why did Jesus command us to love, serve and pray for our enemies? Maybe it is so we, and they, can feel that [bctt tweet=”we aren’t enemies after all.”]

    *If you enjoyed this post, you may enjoy my book, Likening the Book of Mormon War Chapters to Your Life: A Study Journal: Amazon.com: Likening the Book of Mormon War Chapters to Your Life: A Study Journal: 9798323208258: Al-Bjaly, Mandy: Books