Today is my husband’s, Jad Al-Bjaly’s, 34th birthday. He will probably tell you he is only 33 or 32. That is a joke that never gets old in our house, at least to him, haha.
Since it is his birthday, and since I have never done so before, I want to write a post that will honor him. I want the reader to get to know Jad from the inside out. I want my husband to know how wonderful I think he is, but most of all, I want him to know that he is wonderful. Sometimes I don’t think he realizes it, even when people tell him so.
Jad is from Amman, Jordan, so his first language is Arabic. When he came to the United States for the first time, he could barely speak any English. But, he immersed himself in it and learned little by little. He has continued to perfect his grammar since I met him in 2009. I hope everyone will think in their minds how difficult it is to learn another language. My husband has a strong accent and his spelling isn’t the best, but I admire him so much because he is bi-lingual. He knows two extremely difficult languages. It always makes me smile when he meets someone else on the phone or in person who speaks Arabic. They both seem to light up and become instant friends as they engage in the language of their birth.
My husband has one older brother, Tawfeeq. His father left his family when he was only seven, so he was mostly raised by his mother, Salma, with the help of his grandmother and aunts and uncles. His family was very poor. I am humbled every time he tells me about how often they bathed (or didn’t), how they had to conserve water, how they didn’t have air conditioning, how a huge amount of people lived in one small house with one bathroom and mattresses strewn all over the floor to sleep on. Sometimes Jad would even sleep under the stars on the balcony. I think having grown up with such hardship helped refine Jad into a self-reliant, giving, thankful, person who is determined to be a good father, husband, brother and son.
Jad loves the heat and the outdoors. Rock climbing, zip lining, running, playing soccer, camping (to name a few) are all loves of his. Unfortunately for him, I don’t like doing any of that, but he never complains. He has sons he will, and has experienced, these things with.
Most people that know Jad even a little, know he is a wonderful cook. Interestingly, though, he didn’t used to be. The first time he tried to make spaghetti, he didn’t realize he had to boil the noodles. He just had the dry noodles in a pot and kept adding sauce, hoping the noodles would cook. We always laugh at that story. To think that he learned how to cook mostly over the phone from his dear mother, Salma, is just amazing! Our family and friends simply love eating Jad’s cooking. He can whip anything up. He chops vegetables faster than anyone I know, and he knows just how to season anything from meat to pasta. He is so comfortable in the kitchen, and uses his talents to bless others’ lives. And he even cleans up his messes, which can be many. He can’t bake but that is okay. We make that my job, and joke at his expense about his baking capabilities (don’t worry, he laughs too).
He is not musically talented per se (we will call that my talent), but he still proudly sings in church meetings and with our children. He is wonderful at Arabic dancing, and finds so much joy in teaching our sons to do the same. Some of his favorite music is from the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. He is constantly listening to beautiful music while he cleans or does projects around the house.
Jad is a very hard worker. When he gets started on a project, he just keeps going for hours on end, never tiring. From landscaping, to gardening, to painting, to organizing, to building, he puts his all into it. This work ethic continues into his job and education. He is someone who wants to continue to progress throughout his life. He is currently studying for his CCNA certification. It is extremely difficult. He studies two nights a week on average (after having worked a full day at his job), and has a plan to achieve this certification by the Fall. He wants to support our family so that we have everything we need. He never stops learning. At work, his colleagues and superiors can count on him to find an answer when there isn’t one, or to volunteer for something that nobody else has ever attempted to do, like organize the server room (have you ever seen a server room? It can be scary).
He is also a very spiritual man. I am amazed at his knowledge of the gospel of Christ even after just eight years of being a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (I was impressed when I first met him before his 1-year mark). Today is his baptism anniversary. He is a wonderful spiritual leader in our home. Together, we make sure we study scriptures as a family, as a couple and individually daily. We pray together, do our family home evenings each week, share spiritual messages on social media often, do service as often as we can, go to the temple every month we can, and strive to set a righteous example for our children in word and in deed.
My kids have the best dad in the world. Casey is not Jad’s biological son, but he has raised him from the age of four. He loves Casey as his own, and teaches him how to be a good person.
No matter how tired Jad is after work, he will play with our kids until they get tired (which is usually never). His smile and laughter are just as precious as those of our children. He is such a fun dad in every way, and he takes his responsibility as a father incredibly seriously. He plays with them, teaches them, disciplines them, and most importantly, loves them. He gives as many kisses, provides as many snuggles, and says “I love you” as much as I do. The boys have no doubt that their daddy cherishes them. And soon, he will be able to raise his very own little girl. He is more excited about it than even I know.
Jad is also a wonderful husband. Sometimes I don’t see the big picture, and that is usually when we have quarreled in some way. Jad and I are both stubborn and sensitive. That doesn’t always work when there are feelings hurt or buttons pushed. But, I can’t imagine spending my eternity with anyone else. All the reasons above should be enough reasons, but he is so good to me. When he comes home and not everything is done, I usually am apologetic or annoyed at myself. But he always tells me that it’s okay, and gives me a kiss. He knows that I work hard every day, and he immediately offers to help me finish all that needs to be done. If I need a nap or need to get out of the house, he says, “Go ahead, honey.” He never accuses me of laziness or of making excuses. He knows that I am not that way, and he is completely understanding. He trusts me completely with our finances and with planning our weeks and months. He trusts my judgment on things. If he has concerns, he will express them, but ultimately trusts me because he knows that I make my decisions thoughtfully and prayerfully. He supports me in my endeavors, from starting (or quitting) a business to participating in a musical. We make big decisions together as a couple, and he never tries to be in charge of me or tell me what to do. He sees me as an equal partner, and we work together with God to do what is best for our family. He also does nice things for me and makes me feel special. He has made so many beautiful things for me with his hands, things I will cherish forever. He genuinely loves me, appreciates me, and thinks I am beautiful. We have also endured some scary trials and witnessed beautiful miracles together that have increased our faith.
I didn’t have to think very hard to write all this, and as I wrote from my heart, tears have streamed down my face the whole time. I am not creative like my husband, but I can write the words of my heart. He would never talk about himself the way I have just spoken about him. He is too humble and doesn’t see himself as more than ordinary. But, to me, he is extraordinary and the perfect father and husband to our family.
I love you, Jad, and I hope this birthday is your most precious yet.
As many of you know, I have three sons, ages 11, 5 and 3. Ever since getting pregnant with my fourth child, my friends and family have cheerily and optimistically expressed that they hope I have a girl this time. Usually in conversations like this, I admit that I would love to have a daughter, but that I will be happy either way.
I have tried so hard this pregnancy to leave my heart and mind open to having a fourth boy. We talk about girl and boy names, and pray for our baby to healthy and strong no matter what the gender. I also thought of a cute way to reveal the baby’s gender to Casey, who is still in Utah and will not be home to enjoy the moment with us. I took just as much care choosing the boy package as the girl package, and truly want both choices to be exciting to Casey, and to all of us.
Late last week I decided that for this week’s Family Home Evening, I wanted to discuss with my family why it is good to have a baby brother, and why it is good to have a baby sister. We did this family night on Sunday evening (July 10) just before bed.
Kamren didn’t have anything to say, but Rigel, Jad and I had a lovely conversation. Later on the phone, I also asked Casey’s opinion. Here is what we came up with.
Why it is good to have a baby brother:
Rigel – I will play with him and be sweet to him. I will want to play with him outside on the trampoline, swing on swings with him, push him on the swing, and eat with him.
Daddy – The baby will help me be a better dad, helping me be more responsible, and diligent in giving the kids responsibilities. I will want to be a better priesthood holder and example if we have another boy. I believe that if God wants us to have a boy, there is a reason. I will be motivated to lose weight to keep up with all those moving boys. The boys will have fun playing with their brother, and Kamren will have an opportunity to be a big brother to a boy.
Mommy – We will not need to go shopping for boy stuff because we have what we need. The boys will have another automatic best friend. The kids will have a lot in common and will play together well. We will have another future worthy priesthood holder in our home. I will have another boy to cuddle with me, and to motivate me to do sports. God gives us who we need, so a boy will be wonderful.
Casey – I will have someone to play with and be a friend to, who I can help learn and grow.
Why it is good to have a baby sister:
Rigel – I will play with her in my room, play outside with her, push her on the swing, and jump on trampoline with her. I will rock in the rocking chair with her, be gentle with her, and have fun with her outside with Mommy.
Daddy – I will be protective of her as her Dad. Having a girl will help me to watch what I say more. It will be a great feeling to have a girl, and will be a new experience for me. I will get to do her hair and do girl things with her, like make up games, playing with barbies, and teaching her how to sew and cook (two things I am good at).
Mommy – She is a girl so it would be nice to have another girl in the house. It would be so fun to dress a girl, and have girl stuff in the house, like dolls, ponies, princess movies and books, tea sets, etc. We will be able to do the Young Women’s program and Girls’ Camp together, and talk about girl stuff with each other. I can tell her what I know from my experiences too. Hopefully the boys will calm down a little with a sister, and be protective of her and gentle with her.
Casey – There will be someone for Mom to play with. It will be nice to learn how to have a sister, and to be gentle with her. She will be someone to play with and be a friend to.
Having this conversation really brought me peace. It was interesting to me that Casey and Rigel generally had the same reasons why having a baby brother or sister would be good. I had no doubt my boys would be happy either way. Jad and I had more complex, and differing reasons as to why having a son or daughter would be good, but we had plenty of good reasons for both.
When I found out Casey was a boy, I was overjoyed because just the idea of having a baby was amazing. With Rigel, I was surprised he was a boy because I was convinced he was a girl, but I wasn’t sad. But when I saw that little boyhood in my third ultrasound, with Kamren, I admit I was upset and had to get the pizza buffet at Pizza Hut to recuperate. That afternoon, when I told Casey that my third was a boy, he was really upset. That forced me to think of the blessing having another brother would be, and Kamren has truly been such a cherished blessing in our home.
All three of my boys are precious to me, and I can’t imagine my life without them. I truly believe that God gives us the children we are meant to raise.
I woke up this morning (July 12) excited, but nervous. On the way to UNC Hospital, I told Jad I was more nervous than I was before going on stage for Chitty Chitty Bang Bang because this knowledge will help change the direction of our lives.
We got to our appointment a little early, and everything went very smoothly. It was only minutes until I was sitting in the chair, having warm goo put on my tummy.
Rigel, Kamren, Jad and I looked at the screen, and got to hear the baby’s strong heartbeat. After some measuring and looking around at vital organs, I knew the gender reveal was coming up.
I never took my eyes from the screen, and then as I saw the camera go between the legs, I heard the ultrasound tech say the word “boy.”
Confusion came over me as I looked again. I said, “I don’t see a penis,” right as she started typing “Girl” on the screen.
“It’s a girl!” I exclaimed, my voice breaking as tears started streaming down my face. She had been asking if my oldest was a boy, not telling me I was having a boy.
Jad got emotional too, staring at our baby girl in wonder. I could see his excitement as he thought of the possibilities of being the Daddy of a little girl.
We were both so happy, it was overwhelming. The rest of the ultrasound was dedicated to the health of our baby, with some cute pictures here and there. I loved how the tech talked about “her” feet and “her” stomach, helping us really live in the moment.
Rigel really enjoyed the ultrasound, and could recognize a lot of the body parts. I really think he will go into medicine someday. Kamren’s behavior consisted of moving around in boredom, and occasionally making sure I was okay (he is very protective of me.)
We had to wait for a few minutes for the tech to show the photos and information to the OBGYN on duty. While we waited, and noticed the boys acting crazy as usual, Jad talked to them about having a sister and about how they need to be gentle with her.
When the doctor came in to see us, she optimistically informed us that our baby is growing well and is healthy.
Knowing our baby is healthy is even more wonderful than knowing she is a girl. We beamed all the way out to the car.
Jad suggested that we say a prayer before leaving the hospital. I said it, and I thanked Heavenly Father with pure gratitude for the ability to have the technology to know the gender of our baby. I couldn’t control my emotions as I thanked Him whole-heartedly for the opportunity to raise a little girl. It was a sweet, Spirit-filled moment in our minivan.
We spent some more time together as a family before Jad went back to work. It was Cow Appreciation Day at Chick-Fil-A, so we took the opportunity to get free breakfast.
All the while, I anxiously awaited to hear Casey’s reaction to opening package A. I finally heard from him just before 10AM. He was quite tired, having just woken up in California, but expressed his excitement over having a little sister.
I had sent him two DVDs. In the Girl package (labeled A), was a triple feature of The Swan Princess 1, 2, and 3. I thought it would be cool to send a princess movie for a girl, and a prince movie for a boy. I sent The Swan Princess specifically because one time I suggested the boys watch it and Casey said, “Do we have to watch princess movies?” My reply was that someday he may have a sister, and then he will definitely be watching plenty of them.
On the back of the DVD was a little note card for Casey to write his feelings. He wrote: I am so happy to have a sister to play and be a friend to.
After talking to Casey, I was able to message the rest of my and Jad’s family with the good news. I have loved reading their responses.
My mom said: I knew it! I am sooooo excited! Congrats my daughter!
And she did call it. She told me before that she knew it was a girl because she had had a dream about her. I must admit that last night and this morning, I had a feeling in my heart that I would be having a daughter too. I love the way the Lord speaks to us.
My cousin, Lisa’s, reaction very closely reflected my own: …Even if it was a boy I would have been ecstatic!…She’s got 3 big brothers who’ll watch over her and protect her…I am so happy and excited to get a girl cousin! I am close to tears…
I love every person in my family, and I know that having the first granddaughter on both sides, and our first daughter, will be a great blessing to all of us. My heart is full today!
Casey, you are 11 years old now, and as I have observed your actions lately with admiration, I wish to honor you with a tribute.
Are you always the perfect son? No, but I am not always the perfect mother, and nobody’s perfect. You and I both know where we need to improve, but that isn’t what a tribute is for. I wish to highlight and acknowledge your deeds and accomplishments so I can show you my gratitude, admiration and love.
One thing that I love about you, Casey, is that if I need you, you are there. You don’t complain when I ask you to help with your brothers, or with cleaning, or with dinner. You do it, and you do it the best way you know how. I can’t express to you how much I need this from you, and appreciate it.
I am not a perfect mother, Casey. You know that, but whether it is picking you up from school late because I forgot it was early release day, or raising my voice when I shouldn’t, or getting overly irritated with you, you love me anyway. You don’t scold me or get angry with me. You are understanding, and express that you know I have a lot on my plate, or that you understand that being a parent it hard. Thank you for loving me.
You are a service-oriented boy too. When I suggest you write a note to someone, or make a craft, you do it willingly, and from the heart. As of late, you have even written me cards as an apology for something you did, or as a way to cheer me up. I cherish those cards, and will always keep them. You are willing to use your own money to buy gifts for family members too, and you carefully choose those gifts. What a thoughtful boy you are.
I love seeing you develop your talents, skills and interests. I can’t tell you how much it pleases me to see how much you love what I love – instruments, singing, baking, acting. The first few months of the year, we worked on our second musical together, and you asked me to help you learn the ensemble songs so you could sing in the background. You were responsible and made sure you were on stage at the right time, and you did your best with your parts.
You took part in a theater club this year too, and as one of your teachers, I was always impressed with your willingness to try anything. You gave your all to everything, from games, to improvisations, to singing. At our performance showcase, you sang “Out There” from The Hunchback of Notre Dame beautifully. It isn’t an easy song, but you made sure to analyze your character and try to show what he was feeling. Tears came to my eyes when you sang.
This year as you learned a new instrument, the trombone, you always wanted to play songs for me, and you impressed me with your skills at your band concert.
You also did your best to memorize and perform “The Star Spangled Banner” for a group number at a recent Durham Bulls game. It made me smile to hear you practicing around the house, and I loved helping you practice too. Just a few days ago, you wanted to help me bake your birthday cake – you always want to help me bake. And going back to your service-oriented heart, you melted mine when you told me you set out the ingredients for me to make the icing. When I came downstairs later, I saw the ingredients lovingly laid out, and I smiled with adoration.
Your spirituality strengthens my testimony. I always tear up when you bear your testimony in church. When your teachers tell me how much you know about the scriptures, I am so proud of you, and I know it is true. Each night when we read together as family, you have comments and questions. You pay attention and want to learn. I can’t tell you how proud I have been of you lately as you have also begun to do personal scripture study before bed. I love it when you come to me and report what you have read. You will be a wonderful missionary someday – no, you already are.
School has always been a place you have excelled. I haven’t had to get on you about doing your homework or projects. You have your weaknesses in school, but overall, you are a good friend, someone your teachers love to have in class, and a really hard worker. Your final report card and EOG scores impressed me so much. You are a smart boy, but it isn’t just smarts that bring good grades. Dedication, motivation, high standards for yourself, team work, honesty, and humility are key elements too.
On the last day of school, you presented a project on homelessness in North Carolina at the Orange County Library. You clearly did your research, and your concern for the homeless was evident. You really want to help them.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rkgZ10uq_gU
After school when you told me you want to help in soup kitchens, and really hold true to your word to help, you brought tears to my eyes. And when you said you wanted to use the money you would have received for your good grades to help the homeless, I was once again in awe of the goodness of your heart.
How wonderful is it that you love projects too, especially when you get to spend time with your dad or me. I love how you want to help in the garden, paint, or assist with other projects. Just this past Saturday, you jumped at the chance to help me build a bathroom cabinet. It was such a fun experience to spend time together, make mistakes together, and then fix them together. You have an eye for building, and your observations were right on. The finished product was awesome, and it is because you were building it with me.
And finally, Casey, you are one affectionate young man. Your hugs, kisses and soft words can really calm a person. You know what gentleness brings peace, something that many people do not realize.
Casey, I am so blessed to be your mother. Heavenly Father knew I needed you when I needed you, and you will always be one of the most special people in my life. I love you, my dear son.
Remember how we won a trip to Disney World? Well, February 29-March 6, 2016 was the week we got to visit the Happiest Place on Earth. Here is how it all went down:
Monday – Traveling to Orlando!
Riding the shuttle to the airport.
The magic started early – right after we checked our bags, in fact. As we turned around to ride the escalator to security, we saw my Dad taking a walk. He had no idea when we would be at the airport, and normally did not walk that part of the airport while at work. It was a very special and tender surprise to be able to see him before we left.
We all passed through security without a second glance, except our dear diaper bag. It had to be investigated. Upon a thorough inspection, it was clear to go to our gate.
While we waited to board, we wondered who else in the crowd was also going on an all-expense paid trip through My Computer Career.
When we finally boarded the plane, we decided that Casey would sit next to Rigel, and Jad, Kamren and I , would sit in the row behind. It seemed like a good idea, until Jad and I got sad that we couldn’t see Rigel’s reaction when he flew for the first time. I squeezed his hand through the seat and asked how he was. “I’m fine, Mom,” he reassured me. No fear whatsoever.
Rigel drew a picture of the plane.
Orlando, FL Airport
The flight wasn’t long, and for the most part, everyone was good. The Florida airport was huge. Our next stop was to take the Magical Disney bus to our resort – Disney Boardwalk Inn.
Even the ride there was fun for the kids. Kamren was running all around the bus, and Rigel and Casey liked looking out the window. I got into a conversation with the other family who won the video contest from Raleigh. They gave us some nice tips.
We finally got to our resort, and it was gorgeous. I was so excited to go in. My mouth opened wide when I saw the fabulous couch and carousel model when we first walked in. How gorgeous.
It took us a while to find our room, but when we did, the kids found solace in the soft beds. They were tired. Our bags weren’t delivered yet, so we decided to go get our first snacks on our meal plan and explore before the scheduled dinner that night.
The snacks were fab. Look at that rice krispie treat. We sat happily outside, overlooking the lake. Then we decided to walk the boardwalk. Casey thought it was boring, until we spotted a pair of mallard ducks. It was so fun to be so close to them. Another male mallard flew in, and started to fight with the other – over the girl, perhaps? It was fun to speculate.
After a little more exploring, we relaxed for a while, and then got freshened up to eat dinner. We met in a large ballroom where there were gorgeous tables set up. I was amazed at how many families were on this MyCC trip throughout the country. Tony Galati, the CEO of MyCC, and his daughter, Melanie, were delightful. It amazes me how down to earth all of the executives of MyCC were.
We had a very nice meal that night. Unfortunately, the kids barely ate a roll each, and found it very difficult to sit still. But, it was worth it. We got a packet of info for our trip, and also a surprise $200 gift card to spend at Disney. You should have seen our faces light up.
After the dinner was over, we had to take the kids to get food. We found a pizza place on the Boardwalk. It was really yummy, actually. Jad even fed a duck:
After watching a fun street performer, who made kazoo noises instead of spoke, we retired to our room to unpack and get ready for bed. We were really excited for Epcot the next day.
Tuesday
One thing that was really cool about our resort is that it was within walking distance to Epcot and Hollywood Studios. Even cooler is that we could also ride a ferry yacht to the parks. So, that morning, around 9, we took our first ride on the water. The kids loved it.
We arrived at Epcot and had no idea how to get around. Luckily, we recognized some people from MyCC, and followed them to our character breakfast at the Garden Grill. We had to wait a little bit to get in, but it was worth it! The food was amazing. They brought us drinks first (I got a pomegranate lemonade –nom), and then this moist, delicious pan of cinnamon rolls. Next, we got a platter of American breakfast food, like bacon, eggs, ham, and the best breakfast potatoes I have ever had. We left that restaurant full, and with pictures of us with Mickey, Pluto, and Chip.
Our first ride at Epcot, and at Disney World, was Living with the Land. It wasn’t particularly exciting, but it was interesting. The crops grown were absolutely gorgeous, and I wanted to eat some fruits and vegetables right then.
We did a few rides that morning, such as Mission: Space, which was Rigel’s favorite ride of the trip. I rode the more intense version with Casey (I couldn’t breathe), and Rigel with the less intense with Jad. If you have to do the swap thing with kids, this ride is perfect for that, because as you exit the ride, there is an Advanced Training Lab, that Casey did, and a little indoor playground, which kept Kamren occupied. Win win!
By noon, we had to walk really fast back to our hotel to do a “Tell Us Your Story” video interview. I was a little apprehensive about being videotaped after sweating, I mean glistening, all morning. I also figured the kids would be crazy, and they were. There was yelling, and slamming, and licking of mirrors. But, the interviewer and videographer were really down to earth and kind. It was a fun experience to hear Jad get excited about answering questions about his school experience and life, and also to answer questions myself.
After that was over, we quickly walked back to Epcot to catch our lunch reservation at Teppan Edo. It is a Japanese restaurant where the food is cooked in an entertaining way right in front of you. I had heard it was a great restaurant for kids. Yeah, it wasn’t. The kids didn’t like the food. Jad and I did like the food a lot, but I would not recommend it for picky children. The silver lining was that the vanilla ice cream was to die for.
We shopped at a Japanese store after eating, where Rigel got his first souvenir – a Sonic the Hedgehog toy. He was insistent. I thought of my Nana when there, so I called her and asked her what she might like. She wanted a hanky.
We tried to browse the rest of the countries after that, amidst the kids’ complaining. We got some cute pictures, and even went to a German Werthers shop to get some rich caramel treats. Kamren had requested popcorn, and got it.
There weren’t many rides in the World Showcase, but we did find one: Gran Fiesta Tour. It was a pretty cool boat ride and fun. The best part was riding on the water next to a huge volcano. I had tried earlier to get a reservation at the restaurant with the volcano, but couldn’t. I was thrilled there was a ride that brought me to the same location.
Since the kids weren’t too impressed with the countries, we went back to Future World.
Look at these adorable pictures at the large fountain that sprayed water. I think that may have been the cutest part of the day for me.
My very favorite ride at Epcot, and one of my favorite rides of the whole trip, was Spaceship Earth. That ride takes you up inside the Epcot geosphere. You are taken through time to explore the history of communication. The ride made me cry. I could feel God’s hand in all aspects of history that we passed through, and I felt so grateful to be a part of this wonderful world.
Other rides/attractions we did were:
Journey into Imagination with Figment – It wasn’t that great – air did blow in our faces once…
Innoventions – There were a few cool things to do in there, like the Sum of all Thrills ride. Casey and I waited in line to do that. Casey took charge, and chose the intensity and movements we would experience when sitting in a machine closed over our bodies. It actually wasn’t that fun, so really, if you skip the Innoventions building, you won’t be missing anything.
Ellen’s Energy Adventure – This was funny because Ellen DeGeneres was in it, but it definitely more of an educational experience – better for older kids.
Disney & Pixar Short Film Festival – This is a must see. The videos were either hilarious or touching, and the 3D effects were phenomenal.
After the film festival attraction, we rushed back to the World Showcase to get some food and watch Illuminations, the nighttime firework, water and light show at Epcot. We got a fabulous meal at La Cantina de San Angel in Mexico. The food was authentic, and Jad was super impressed. Kamren slept through it.
The light show began while we were still getting our food. We couldn’t see the whole thing, but from what we could see, it was lovely. The music was entrancing, and the colors were spell-binding. It was really well done.
After the show, we walked back, caught a glimpse of Baymax on the way, and got excited for our next day!!!
Wednesday – Magic Kingdom
We got up super early Wednesday morning to catch the bus to Magic Kingdom. We arrived before the 8:30AM opening ceremonies. While we waited, we were able to talk to people from MyComputerCareer. It was nice getting to know others in our group.
Finally, the opening ceremonies began. When the train came in that held so many beloved Disney characters, I got teary-eyed. Disney has a way of doing that to you.
Once it was over, we waited a while to get a group pic with the rest of our group, and then we entered the Magic Kingdom! My first thought when entering was, “Wow!”
Cinderella’s castle was breathtakingly gorgeous, and the whole place was charming and beautiful. We were greeted by people all along the sidewalks. I knew I was going to love this place.
Our first stop was the Crystal Palace, where I made a last minute breakfast reservation. I am so glad we went. The buffet was incredible. Everything you could ever want for breakfast was there, from healthy to super sweet. Not only that, the kids got to meet characters from Winnie the Pooh. What an enjoyable meal!!!
One thing I loved about Magic Kingdom was how there were several lands, and all we easy to get to. We started out at Frontierland. The first thing we did was ride a raft to go to Tom Sawyer Island. That was actually really cute, and the kids loved running around and exploring.
Next was Splash Mountain. I will be honest – some of it was fun (the parts where we got wet), but a lot of the ride we were floating slowly in our boat, looking at scenes with Brer Rabbit, Brer Fox, and Brer Bear. I rode it first with Casey and Rigel, and then Jad rode it with them. Unfortunately, Kamren ended up being too short. It was so cute – he got in originally, but as we approached the ride, the attendant asked that he be measured again. Kamren stepped on his tippy toes to read the wood. It was adorable.
He was so good while we waited for Jad and the other kids. He liked to experiment with the magic band by scanning pictures.
Big Thunder Mountain Railroad was fun (I rode with Rigel, and Jad rode with Casey after). Rigel was a little scared, but it was a pretty mild roller coaster, actually.
We shopped at one of the gift shops (it was huge and had tons of stuff), and then hopped on the train. Kamren was super excited to ride the “Choo Choo,” so we rode it for him. We met an LDS family from Texas on that train ride. They were delightful people.
After we rode around the park on the train, we headed to Liberty Square. The riverboat was beautiful, but we didn’t ride it. Instead, we got in line for The Haunted Mansion. The line was fairly long, but that was okay because the closer you got to the mansion, the more stuff there was to touch and look at. The kids loved it – I would actually say the line went too fast for us to enjoy it fully. Unfortunately, when we got inside the mansion, we ended up standing really close to everyone in a hot room, waiting forever to get on the ride because it wasn’t working. When we got to a point where we all thought we would die, the ride finally started up again.
I must say, the Haunted Mansion was super cool. Rigel was my partner, and he was freaked out the whole time, but it was a silly kind of scary. It was very well done!
We headed over to Fantasyland after that to grab some lunch at Pinocchio’s Haus. The food was good, and it was a cute little set up.
After lunch, we had a little mishap. Kamren punched Rigel and he got a bloody nose. That was fun to clean up. He was fine, but wow, it was bloody.
There was tons to do in Fantasyland, and we wish we could have done it all. We didn’t stand in line to see any of the characters, but we did see glimpses of some.
And other than catching a small part of a parade, here is what we did do, not necessarily in order:
Under the Sea – Journey of The Little Mermaid – This was my favorite thing in Fantasyland. Seeing Eric’s castle up close, and then riding in a clam shell, reliving Ariel’s experiences, was breathtaking. For some reason, this one wasn’t just a slow boat ride for me. It brought back happy memories from my childhood.
Prince Charming Regal Carousel – This was just like any carousel, but it is always fun. Kamren didn’t want to get off.
Mickey’s Philhar Magic – This was so much fun! It was a 3D video and was hilarious. Some of my favorite attractions in all the parks were the 3D videos because cool things happen like water raining on you, or air blowing in your face. They are really interactive and fun.
We took a detour to Tomorrowland, and did the Tomorrowland Speedway, which was so much fun. I rode with Kamren and let him drive (don’t worry – you can’t veer off course), and it was a little crazy moving back and forth all the time. He had a blast, though. Jad let Rigel drive, and he kept bumping us. Casey rode on his own, and was thrilled.
Mad Tea Party – This was the traditional tea cup ride. My kids loved it, and Kamren didn’t want to get off.
It’s a Small World – This was one of my favorite rides because, even though it was yet another slow boat ride, it highlighted different people and cultures from around the world. I loved looking for Arabic people because it made me feel closer to Jad. It just helped me appreciate and have a greater love for the beauty and wonder each country of the world brings.
Peter Pan’s Flight – This was like all the rest of the boat rides, except you were suspended in the air on a slow ride. It was pretty cool. It takes you through the story of Peter Pan through life-like mannequins. I was so impressed by all the moving mannequins at Disney World. They were so lifelike.
After Fantasyland, we went back to Tomorrowland, and this is what we did:
Astro Orbiter – So, we were really excited about this one because you ride up an elevator, and get in these spaceships that fly in a circle high above the park. Casey got his own, Jad rode with Kamren, and I rode with Rigel, Let me tell you, I was scared to death. There is one big seat belt that holds both of you in (the littlest person rides in front of the bigger person). There is nothing to hold on to if you are the one in the back. Rigel was “steering,” and nearly the whole ride, we were slanted down right. I felt like I was going to fall out! I was so glad to be back on the ground when it was done. The kids loved it, though!
Buzz Lightyear’s Space Ranger Spin – This ride was really fun. You have guns and you are supposed to shoot the aliens in different rooms. You can spin your seats around whenever you want, and the colors and sounds are exciting.
Monster, Inc. Laugh Floor – This show was a riot. A large part of it is done live. Mike is there, and different monsters are supposed to help make us laugh enough to fill this huge canister. Well, the other monsters were computer animated on screen, but were acted by live people, and random audience members were chosen to do certain things, like dance. It was hilarious. I am kind of glad I wasn’t chosen, but appreciated those who were and had fun with it.
We also got to see Buzz Lightyear from a distance, and saw Mr. and Mrs. Incredible at a dance party right by Space Mountain (we didn’t ride that because of the lines and a bad attitude from our 10-year-old).
For dinner, we got hot dogs for the little ones at a little place by the Astro Orbiter. (After we got back that night, Jad went to a restaurant on the Boardwalk called ESPN Club, and got food for the rest of us. It was fab.)
I think the most magical part of our day at Magic Kingdom was the Celebrate the Magic show. Cinderella’s castle was lit up with Disney characters while lovely music played. I got teary-eyed during the Frozen part. Gosh, I don’t even like that movie much – why does it make me cry? 😉
After the show was over, it was really hard to get out of there, but we finally did, and caught the bus home.
Kamren was wiped out by the time we got back! What a fun day at Magic Kingdom!!!
Thursday – Hollywood Studios
We didn’t have to rush out that morning, so we were a little lazier, and ordered room service. The food was good, but not the best ever. Kamren took some of my food, so I took his. Our biggest memory of that breakfast will always be how much butter they gave us. I think they gave us an entire stick. Not sure what we needed all that for!
After breakfast, we walked over to Hollywood Studios. It was a little bit of a ways out, but we made it. My first reaction to it, was that it wasn’t very pretty. It looked old and outdated in its faded baby blue paint. It was quite disappointing in comparison to Magic Kingdom. Luckily, the rides and attractions were 1000 times better than the looks of the park would suggest.
Our first stop was the For the First Time in Forever: A Frozen Sing-Along Celebration. Casey and Rigel complained about being there, and I explained to them that some things are for Mommy to enjoy. Well, by the end, those kids were all completely mesmerized. Don’t judge me when I say that was my favorite show of the entire week at Disney World. It wasn’t just a sing-along. It was a hilarious retelling of the story by two Arendelle historians. They were perfect in every way, and Anna, Kristoff, and Elsa were all in it. Elsa came out at the end, and we all sang a fabulous reprise of Let it Go. As we sang, snow fell onto our heads. I am pretty sure I cried. It must be that song!
It was the perfect start to a wonderful day. Hollywood Studios is a smaller park, so we got to do a lot of it! Here is what else we did:
Star Wars: Path of the Jedi – This was fun because it took you through all the movies, even the newest, to tell the story of the Jedi. I loved it, and the kids definitely did. There is something so nostalgic about Star Wars.
A costume from Brigadoon. So cool!
The Great Movie Ride – This ride made me happy. Even while waiting in line, we had fun because they were playing scenes from old movies. And even though it was another slow ride, it was so amazing to see sets and moving mannequin characters from movies I grew up with, like Mary Poppins and The Wizard of Oz. There was even a real person dressed as a gangster who took over our ride. It was pretty cool.
Indiana Jones: Epic Stunt Spectacular – This was so cool! They asked for people to volunteer to be extras in the beginning. I didn’t volunteer, and I was sad I didn’t, because they got to interact with the stunt actors as they did three major scenes from Raiders of the Lost Ark. This was so fun to watch, and some of the stunts are awesome!
Lights, Motors, Action! Extreme Stunt Show – This was another really cool show. We sat towards the back and could still see fine. Seeing cars do incredible stunts was more fun for Jad and Casey, but I still thought it was cool. They even had a car that was built to look like it was driving backwards, but it was really driving forwards.
Muppet Vision 3D – This was not my favorite 3D show. It was almost too cheesy, but it was cool to have the old sarcastic men up in a balcony laughing at the Muppets. The gift shop outside of it was also cool – worth going to if you love Muppets stuff.
Toy Story Midway Mania – This is the most popular ride at Hollywood Studios. After riding it, though, I say it isn’t worth the line. We had fast passes, and still had a long line. It wasn’t any better than the Buzz Lightyear ride at Magic Kingdom. In fact, the Buzz ride as more fun. Skip this ride – it really isn’t that fun. It is basically a life-size video game.
While we waited for Daddy and Casey to ride the same ride, Rigel and I walked around. He was mesmerized by this poster.
Star Tours – The Adventures Continue – This ride was awesome!! Rigel and Jad rode it together first, and while I waited with the other boys, we viewed a light saber show with kids right next to it. Then, I went to the restaurant next door to grab some food for hungry Kamren. By the time I got the food, and Jad and Rigel got out of the ride, it was time to meet our group for the Fantasmic show and dessert party. Casey and I rode it after the show was over. C3PO is with us as we go on a mission in space that he wasn’t expecting to go on. The ride was really bumpy with really cool graphics. It was almost like were in Space.
And just walking around Hollywood Studio was fun!
Now, let me tell you about the food we had that day before I tell you about Fantasmic.
For lunch, we went to a place called 50s Prime Time Café. It was set up, obviously, like a 50s home. The waiters were all supposed to act moody, and impatient, finding pleasure in yelling at guests.
We had the best waiter. He had this really nasally voice, and when he yelled, we couldn’t help but giggle. Jad ate this up, and deliberately did things to get yelled at for.
The food was really good. If you like home cooking, this restaurant is for you. I don’t like fried chicken much, but they had the best fried chicken ever! All the food was good, and they served huge milkshakes. Mine was raspberry white chocolate, and was a special, so it wasn’t quite as big, but boy was it amazingly tasty.
After we ate, a lady let the kids play with hula hoops outside the restaurant.
For dinner, as I said, we ate at a restaurant right next to Star Tours. Let me rephrase that – we wolfed down as much of our dinner as possible before running to our meeting place for Fantasmic.
A guide took us this weird Employees Only back way to the outdoor auditorium. We felt a little naughty going that way. We sat at a table, and even though we were stuffed from dinner, we got ice cream, punch and cookies.
The show finally started, and it was pretty good. It wasn’t my favorite light/music/fireworks show, but it has a lot of Disney characters in it. The first part was Pocahontas and the song Savages. Towards the end of the show, there were images of Disney villains in the water. The dragon from Sleeping Beauty was also there. It really was a pretty cool show.
After Fantasmic was over, and after we got free t-shirts from the school, Casey and I ran to Star Tours, while Jad took the little boys to the huge gift shop next to it. The kids all got something. Casey really wanted to build a light saber, so he did. Then Kamren also wanted one, so Casey helped him build one – it ended up being a double light saber. Rigel had gotten a large Storm Trooper toy, but after I reminded him of another toy he had seen at another gift shop – Mickey and friends dressed up as Star Wars characters – he decided to return it and wait to get that toy.
Unfortunately, the gift shop with that toy was closed, so we walked around to other shops. We couldn’t find it, and I was getting frustrated I couldn’t find anything for myself. I figured out of all parks, this park would be the place to buy something. Oh well.
At least the boys had fun playing with light sabers in the street.
We took the ferry yacht back to the resort.
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When we were walking back to our room, we saw a street performer on the Boardwalk and had to stop. Casey got to help him. It was hilarious!
Friday – Animal Kingdom
This was our last park, and though we were excited, the kids were pretty tired. The bus ride felt long, and when we first got there, the kids were ready to be carried. We prayed that the kids would be good!
Our first stop was breakfast at the Rainforest Café. If you ever go there, realize that it is located before you enter the park. We didn’t realize that, so we entered the park and promptly exited. It was a pretty cool restaurant. There were moving elephant mannequins. The ceiling had hanging vines. There were fish tanks in the back. Every few minutes, there would be a thunderstorm and monkeys would make noises. The food was not the best I had ever had, but it was good nonetheless. The gift shop was really neat too.
Animal Kingdom doesn’t stay open as long as the other parks, but that ended up being okay because it is also a smaller park. We did almost everything.
When you first walk in, you see a huge tree, called the tree of life. It was breathtaking.
Much of the park consisted of trails and animal sightings, like a zoo. Here is what we did:
Discovery Island Trails – The lemurs were the kids’ favorite.
Pangani Forest Exploration Trail – Of note, we saw meercats and gorillas.
Kilimanjaro Safaris – This was the coolest part of Animal Kingdom by far, and can’t be missed. You ride in a safari truck through a setting that looks exactly like Africa, and you continuously come across beloved African animals. We had a blast.
Festival of the Lion King – I was disappointed in this show. I expected it to be a retelling of the movie, but it wasn’t. It was a performance that the animals were putting on for King Simba. Only Timon was “real.” The rest of the animals were puppets. There were really talented acrobats, which was the only cool part. Skip this one if you don’t have time to do it.
Maharajah Jungle Trek – This was the Asian portion of the park. It was beautiful. There were humongous fruit bats, and even a tiger.
Expedition Everest (Roller coaster) – This was the scariest, most exciting roller coaster we rode in Disney World. If you love a thrill, this is it! Rigel was scared, but enjoyed it.
Finding Nemo – The Musical – This was my favorite part of the day. It was a mini-musical, so wasn’t overly long for children. The kids and I were mesmerized. The acting, music, set, and props were wonderful. I highly recommend this.
TriceraTop Spin – This was a little kid ride. Both Kamren and Rigel loved it.
Primeval Whirl – Only Casey and I rode this one. It was fun, but not scary at all. You got whirled and jerked around, and were sometimes high up. It was worth doing with a short line.
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Dinosaur – This ride was really fun. Jad and Rigel rode it together, and then Casey and I did. Jad didn’t love it, and Rigel was scared of it. I personally thought it was awesome, and so did Casey. The concept was really cool, and you could feel the urgency and the adrenaline pumping.
Before we left Animal Kingdom, we went to a nice gift shop and found that Mickey Star Wars set Rigel had really wanted at Hollywood Studios.
We left the park right when it closed, and we were hot and tired. The wait for the bus seemed long, and we were glad to get back to the resort.
But, we had found out at Animal Kingdom earlier that day that we were about out of meals for our meal plan, so we had to discuss the issue with the front desk. It turns out that Kamren wasn’t put on our meal plan at all, so any meal he got counted against the rest. As a courtesy, we were given plenty of extra meals to tide us over. We appreciated that kind gesture.
After that experience, the kids wanted to swim, and there was a cool pool at the resort. I wasn’t interested in swimming, and needed to go to Hollywood Studios to replace a broken lightsaber, so I took the ferry there while the boys took a dip in the pool.
I thought I would love being alone, but I honestly didn’t enjoy it very much. It felt weird riding on that crowded ferry with no one to talk to. I got to Hollywood Studios, promptly replaced the lightsaber, and then thought I would shop a little more. I really wanted to find myself a nice souvenir from Disney World.
But, I still couldn’t find anything! I had really wanted something that was reminiscent of The Great Movie ride, but an attendant told me there was no such store. So, instead, I bought the kids a Star Wars book that was written as if Darth Vader had raised Luke. It was cute. I also got them a CD of A New Hope.
When I got back to the Boardwalk, I went in the gift shop there to take one last look to find myself something. I still found nothing. So, I started walking to find myself something to eat. It was nearly 8, and I figured the kids had already eaten.
Surprisingly, I saw Jad on the Boardwalk. He was getting a pizza for the kids. They still hadn’t eaten. So, we ate together. Not long after, we crashed into bed, knowing we needed to get up early to pack up.
Saturday – Blizzard Beach and home
The original plan for Saturday was to go back to a park that we didn’t get a chance to get through. But later, we got a surprise – a free admission to one of four attractions. We chose the water park – Blizzard Beach.
We had to get up early Saturday to pack and get ready to fly home.
First, we had our final breakfast – this time at the Boardwalk’s restaurant Trattorio al Forno. Jad loved his breakfast, and ended up eating a lot of mine because I didn’t like it. The food was a little too fancy for me.
After our early breakfast, we finished packing. Luckily, instead of dragging all of our stuff with us all day, we got to check our suit cases, and have our carry ons held by the resort until we came back to take the bus to the airport that afternoon.
We took a shuttle to Blizzard Beach, and arrived not long after it opened. It wasn’t a huge park – we could tell from the beginning, but it ended up being one of the favorites. Why? Because it was a relaxed atmosphere. There weren’t that many people there, and everyone could go at their own pace.
Jad and Casey were really excited about the big, scary water slides. That definitely isn’t my thing, so I took the little ones to the kids’ water section. It was actually pretty cool. There were three slides, and plenty of splashing areas. Kam and Rigel went on the slides over and over, and had a wonderful time.
Later on, Jad relieved me so I could do a couple medium intensity slides with Casey. I really don’t like water slides, so it wasn’t much more fun than watching the little ones.
But then, we found a family tube ride, called Teamboat Springs. We all loved it. We got on a large tube as a family, and descended down a huge large slide, while turning and curving and getting splashed. It was perfect for all of us, and we rode it multiple times.
We really liked being at Blizzard Beach because we could do the slides as many times as we wanted, and there was no pressure to rush around. We finally left a little after 2 PM, so we could get to the shuttle bus in time.
But, first, we had to cash in all of our snacks at the gift shop. With a meal plan, you don’t want to leave any of your points behind. So, we stocked up on candy and other snacks.
We got to the resort in plenty of time to collect our stuff. Jad even went to one of the shops at the Boardwalk to collect nice free water bottles we didn’t know about until that day. And then it was time to get on the bus to go to the airport.
It was sad to say goodbye to our trip, but we were also happy to be going home. As we rode to the airport, we reflected on the blessing of Jad attending MyComputerCareer, winning the video contest, and being able to go on this once-in-a-lifetime trip. We were also so grateful for our hosts. Melanie, the CEO’s daughter, had placed this card by our door the night before.
We got to the airport in plenty of time, so got to shop around, and eat dinner leisurely.
We ate a lot of food at Disney World, but Jad and I both remarked that our food at the airport may have been our favorite. It was Italian food. The boys, however, got good old McDonald’s.
Kamren slept during much of our airport time, until not long before we boarded. He was so tuckered out from a week of nearly no naps.
We got to the airport late that night, and drove home, happy to get back to our routine.
Adjusting back to home life
Other than the endless laundry, we were all content to be home. And really, we realized that the happiest place on earth is really just wherever we are together.
We enjoyed eating and sharing our final snack spoils, and the boys quickly utilized their light sabers in the open space of our living room.
Later we talked about our overall favorites/least favorite things about Disney World:
Jad –
Favorite Park – Hollywood Studios
Favorite rides/attractions – Mission Space, car stunt show, family tube ride at the water park, the safari, 50s Prime Time Cafe, and running at the Boardwalk
Least favorite rides/attractions – Finding Nemo, Dinosaur, Fantasmic
Mandy –
Favorite Park – Hollywood Studios
Favorite rides/attractions – Spaceship Earth, Great Movie Ride, Frozen, Magic Kingdom light show, Star Tours, Everest coaster, Ariel ride, Laugh Floor, Pixar shorts, and Mickey’s Philmar
Least favorite rides/attractions – Lion King, Splash Mountain, Toy Story Mania, Astrospace, and all the whining and crying the kids did all week
Casey –
Favorite park – Hollywood Studios
Favorite rides/attractions – Indiana Jones show*, Magic Kingdom light show, Everest coaster, Splash Mountain, Mission: Space, car stunt show, Star Tours, 50’s Prime Time Cafe, Fantasmic, family tube ride at water park
Least favorite rides/attractions – Waiting in line and countries at Epcot
Rigel –
Favorite park – Blizzard Beach
Favorite rides/attractions – Mission: Space*, Finding Nemo, AstroSpace, water park (really tall slide), Star Tours, Pinocchio Haus mac and cheese, 50s Prime Time Cafe, and Star Wars toys
Least favorite rides/attractions – Everest coaster, Haunted Mansion, and Big Thunder Mountain (only because he was afraid of them, though ironically, he couldn’t stop talking about Haunted Mansion later)
Kamren –
Favorite park – Blizzard Beach
Favorite rides/attractions – kids’ slides at water park, hotel slide, tea cup ride, carousel
Last favorite rides/attractions – countries at Epcot, rushing around
We will never forget our time at Walt Disney World 2016!
Have you ever prayed out loud pleading, sobbing, hoping, asking?
I did that recently. I had to. I was so confused, emotionally and physically exhausted, and feeling that I wasn’t doing my part well enough.
March 18-19 2016, my mom and I attended an event in Raleigh put on by Deseret Book called Time Out for Women (TOFW).
My feelings about this event are best summarized by my Facebook post on the 19th: Last night and today have been one of the greatest experiences I have had for a long time. My mom is with me. We are seeing old friends, feeling the Spirit, laughing, learning, and crying. The music and speakers are all phenomenal, and I look forward to the rest of today!
This event changed my perspective, and possibly my life.
I took many notes during the event, as all the speakers and performers had such lovely and insightful things to say. Here are some of the points that meant the most to me:
John Bytheway, spoke of gardens. The garden was a metaphor for one’s testimony of Christ and His gospel. He said that all you have to do to lose your garden is nothing. Am I currently working to increase my testimony, or am I letting the weeds grow? Among many other important metaphors and points, he quoted this by Neal A. Maxwell: “In conclusion, the submission of one’s will is really the only uniquely personal thing we have to place on God’s altar. The many other things we “give,” brothers and sisters, are actually the things He has already given or loaned to us. However, when you and I finally submit ourselves, by letting our individual wills be swallowed up in God’s will, then we are really giving something to Him! It is the only possession which is truly ours to give!” I do try to give my will to God. It was His will that I start my business, for example. I just wish I knew why…
Jenny Oaks Baker, the most beautiful violinist I have ever heard, said that we should have faith in the Lord, not in that certain things will happen in our lives. Am I dreaming too much, and not thinking enough about my faith?
Wendy Ulrich talked of failing verses learning. She said failure doesn’t define us or finish us. We learn instead of fail. She asked us to think to ourselves, “What risk do I need to take even though I am afraid to fail?” What if I quit my business? I would be a failure, right? If not, what on earth am I learning?
Mary Ellen Edmunds talked about an African saying – “I am well if you are well.” She said that love is the best medicine and that we should give another dose if one doesn’t work. She quoted Thoreau: “Love is the only investment that never fails.” She testified that kindness and love bring power over mind, heart and behavior. Am I giving enough love? If love is the only investment that never fails, I need to do more investing.
A sweet local from Cary said, “God gave us everything. All He asks is sacrifice from us.” Am I sacrificing enough for Him?
Eric Huntsman said that he learned about Jesus on his mother’s knee. This image struck me to the core, and I felt incredibly inadequate. Will my kids learn from my knee? I felt that my priorities should be teaching the gospel to my children. I starred a couple scriptures that he quoted:
Alma 5:26 – And now behold, I say unto you, my brethren, if ye have experienced a change of heart, and if ye have felt to sing the song of redeeming love, I would ask, can ye feel so now? Can I ?
1 John 3:2 – Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is. All that matters is that I am like Him.
Calee Reed was the extremely talented singer on the second day. She spoke about how we should always remember we are daughters of God and that He loves us. She said that knowing that helps her feel better about herself and the mundane things she has to do as a mother. I struggle with the mundane. That is why I try so hard to make something of myself and do, do, do.
Sandra Turley quoted the song “We Must Sing” by Rob Gardner. My favorite verse was: “God made our voices, but we must make them sing. God gave us voices so we must sing.” She said we need to grow our testimony of Christ before our talents, and then use our talents to share our testimony. She said we must give our kids faith or we have given little. We must sing to defend God. I have talents, and I used to use them all the time for sharing my testimony and defending God. Now, I don’t have time to do my blogging…
During her talk, when she was talking about praising God, I had a random thought, and that was that God doesn’t care about our weight or what we look like on the outside. Do we as women focus on that too much? My business focuses a lot on outside looks (well, inner health too).
Emily Belle Freeman gave a touching talk about true friendships and hospitality. During her talk, I had a few thoughts:
We shouldn’t do something for what it will do for us, because we already have all we need with God and family. Wow, I really do, don’t I?
Sometimes something is right, but not right now. What should wait?
The mundane isn’t really mundane. Wow, I really haven’t had time to do the mundane lately. I wish I had more time to keep my home clean or cook nice meals…
These were my favorite points from TOFW, though the entire event nourished my soul, and helped me bond with my mom. As we drove home from Raleigh, I ended up in tears as I spoke to her. I told her of my concerns about not having enough time for my family and for the things that matter most. I told her many of the things that stuck out to me from TOFW, and that I felt like I wasn’t doing those things well enough.
My greatest concern was my business with It Works. I reminded her and myself of the strong, overwhelming spiritual prompting I had gotten to start my business less than six months before. I was just so confused. I couldn’t quit! Not when He had told me to do this. It has only been a short time!
Once we arrived back to her home, I said hello to my dad, and hugged my mom goodbye to drive my car home. During that ride home was when I gave my desperate and fervent vocal prayer to my Heavenly Father. I tried to be as in tune with the Spirit as possible as I communed with Him.
When I came home, I wrote down my thoughts:
The financial dreams my family wrote together don’t really matter.
We have ALL we need already.
I don’t have to do my book right now (a desire I have had for some time.)
I have no time for love, and that is what I need most.
My final thought was that my family needs to be together all the time – that was a worthwhile dream.
I saw number 5 as a somewhat comforting reason to remain with my business. And life went on for nearly a month. I continued working my business, but the joy wasn’t there. The motivation and inspiration wasn’t there. The success I had seen before wasn’t happening.
Then, the morning of April 12, I went to my church Institute class about the Savior.
The Spirit touched me to the very center when we read this scripture (Alma was quoting the prophet Zenos, and what he said about prayer):
And thou didst hear me because of mine afflictions and my sincerity ; and it is because of thy Son that thou hast been thus merciful unto me, therefore I will cry unto thee in all mine afflictions , for in thee is my joy; for thou hast turned thy judgments away from me, because of thy Son. Alma 33:11
What part struck me? The very small line: “For in thee is my joy.”
I was overcome with my lack of joy at that time. My business wasn’t bringing me joy. I was overworked physically and mentally. I had so much going on in my life that I couldn’t breathe. Where is my joy? Is should be in Christ, and I have not had time to focus on Him!
In the next lesson that same day, we talked about Christ’s second coming.
We read a powerful quote from Elder Dallin H. Oaks: “While we are powerless to alter the fact of the Second Coming and unable to know its exact time, we can accelerate our own preparation and try to influence the preparation of those around us. … “What if the day of His coming were tomorrow? If we knew that we would meet the Lord tomorrow—through our premature death or through His unexpected coming— what would we do today? What confessions would we make? What practices would we discontinue? What accounts would we settle? What forgiveness would we extend? What testimonies would we bear? “If we would do those things then, why not now? Why not seek peace while peace can be obtained? If our lamps of preparation are drawn down, let us start immediately to replenish them.”
This quote hit me like a ton of bricks. I knew that I would do things so much differently if I knew that the Savior were to return tomorrow. Nothing was more clear to me at that moment than that I needed to quit my business. I knew that though it wasn’t a bad endeavor, it was stopping me from preparing myself, my family, and those around me spiritually for Christ. I had realized earlier that day that in Christ should be my joy. He is everything. What was I giving to Him?
So, I went home that day feeling that I really needed to get rid of something. I knew the first thing was definitely my business. I was a little scared, but I prayed for reassurance, and I got it. Within a few hours, I sent a sincere and heartfelt email to my upline and friend, Amber.
I told her how I had been struggling with my business for quite some time. Financially, it wasn’t providing for me, even though I was working hard. In the past months, if I ever felt discouraged and ready to quit, I could feel God bless me with a new customer or a new promotion or a new idea. But, that had not been happening. My distributors weren’t working, and potential customers weren’t signing. I had taken a blow just a couple weeks before realizing that even if I promote, I have to requalify for my rank each month. Where is the stability and consistency in that?
I gave her many reasons for thinking of quitting, like my joy and desire wavering. I told her that “this business has not done for me what is most important for my family and for my spirituality,” and “the time I have devoted has taken me away from things I love, including blogging.”
I said, “I know that to be really successful, I need this business to become my top priority, but if I have felt anything lately, it is that my family and my devotion to Christ must be my top priority. I don’t have to be wealthy and my husband doesn’t have to stay at home.”
I told her that I didn’t regret doing It Works, but I hadn’t felt peace with it for some time. I told her that “writing this email with my thoughts is bringing me a lot of peace.”
My initial thought was that I wouldn’t quit until the end of the week. I would give it some time to see if anything happened that would help me be successful. But, then, when my husband got home that evening, we had a tearful heart to heart. I told him about the email, and about my thoughts. I felt the Spirit as I told him that my priorities needed to shift and that our family and God is all that matters.
He told me he was proud of me and that he could tell I was making decisions with the Spirit. He reassured me that he is happy to work, and that we don’t have to be rich. Our dreams were good, but our family is what matters most.
So, that night, I emailed Amber again and told her that I would indeed be quitting. It felt so good.
She did not write me back right away, and after several days, I was worried that she was really angry with me. It turns out my email had gone to her spam folder, and I was so relieved and grateful that she was really supportive and understanding.
It has been a couple weeks since I decided to quit my business, and I have not felt regret. I reflected on the prayer I had on the way home from TOFW, and I realized my interpretation of the thought that my family needs to be together all the time was wrong. What Heavenly Father was telling me was that my family needed to be together eternally – that is all that matters.
That interpretation has inspired me. I am still catching up on many “to dos” since the musical has been over (something else that took much of my time, but was such a blessing), but soon that list will get smaller and smaller until I can focus my time and attention on loving my family, doing the mundane things that aren’t so mundane, giving service, and sharing the gospel through my blog.
I have asked myself a few times why did Heavenly Father want me to start my business in the first place if I was only going to quit in six months?
I wish I had a true answer for that. Jad thinks that maybe the skills I learned in networking will help me reach more people with my blog. I did learn a new skill and overcome a fear of videotaping myself speaking. Perhaps that will become useful someday. Or, maybe it is as Wendy Ulrich said : maybe it isn’t failing; it is learning.
Well, I have learned a lot. And the love I was missing is coming back to me. I thank God for His infinite wisdom, and for His hand in my life. I know He knows what is best for me, and that He desires my joy!
I must make a clarification that I am in no way saying that home businesses are not a good thing, or that dreams of financial freedom aren’t merited, or that an absence of joy in something is always a justified reason to move on. I simply mean that for me, and for my family, there is another plan at this time. The only thing I can continue to do is to follow where the Spirit leads me, and be willing to give my entire will to God (the only thing of mine I can truly give), no matter what.
If He is the guide on my journey and I always choose to follow Him, my destination will always be Heaven, either on earth or in the eternities.
You know the phrase “From the mouths of babes?” Most of the time, people use that phrase when children say something profoundly true or spiritual.
Well, I think it can also apply when they say something that shouldn’t be true, but it is too often – when they say something that causes reflection, and possibly change in one’s life.
This happened to me a few weeks ago. Rigel and I were sitting at the table eating lunch. All of a sudden he clearly articulated,
“When I am an adult, I can watch bad movies with bad words!”
I was taken aback, and wondered who told him that or why he thought that. I knew I hadn’t told him that, and I told him that Daddy and I don’t watch movies like that.
He then said, “Yes you do. There are movies you don’t let me watch. They are bad movies with bad words.”
He was right that there are movies he doesn’t watch that we watch, but I explained to him that some movies he wouldn’t understand or enjoy due to his young age. Jad and I actually don’t keep any movie in the house we wouldn’t want our kids to watch, and when we watch movies we don’t own, we use VidAngel to cut out language, nudity, and other things we aren’t comfortable watching.
I don’t think that Rigel’s definitions of “bad words” and “bad movies” match mine, but it still got me thinking a lot.
Then, the following day, I spoke to a friend whose nephew had called his sister a bad name. When she corrected him and asked him not to do that, he showed his understanding, by saying when he grew up he would be able to use that word. Where did he get that from?
These two interactions left my heart aching. My husband and I try really hard to practice what we preach. We do have very high morals when it comes to entertainment and speech. We aren’t perfect, but want our kids to fill their lives with things that are virtuous, lovely, of good report, and praiseworthy (Articles of Faith 1:13, Phillippians 4:8).
My heart was hurting as I thought of other children in the world whose parents do use bad language consistently around them but tell them not to do the same, or who do watch movies with content that they hide from their kids (or worse – don’t).
Kids are like sponges. They will hear what words you use, they will hear how you speak about others, they will find a way to view those movies or books you are hiding from them – and then they will adopt that behavior themselves.
I truly believe that as parents, we have been given a God-given responsibility to be righteous examples to our children. We should study the words of Christ, and carefully determine what things we will allow in our homes. I believe home should be a holy place – a haven from the world. We must make it that way through our our words, our actions, and the tangible objects we allow in.
I hope I can help my children fill in the blank differently. Rather then, “When I am an adult, I can do bad things,” they will say, “When I am an adult, I can”:
Get a good college education.
Earn a job in my chosen career field, and try to change the world for the better.
Continue to share the gospel of Christ.
Marry my sweetheart and start a family.
Work hard to support my family physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
Love my children, my spouse and the Lord with all of my heart.
Be a good friend to all.
Use my talents and time to help others.
Learn new skills, such as gardening, fixing cars, or cooking new foods.
With apology in his eyes, he kissed my cheek and neck a little too warmly, and then told me how sorry he was for what he had done to me. He knew it was too late to change anything, but regret ached in his voice.
My new ex-husband was mourning the loss of his wife and baby already, as he watched us turn away, never again to live with us as a family.
My emotions were clouded. For the last three and a half years, I had lived in charming Cedar City, Utah, attending school at SUU. For more than two years of that time, I had been married. His family was my family, his church was my church, and his home was my home. We even had a child together, 11 months before the inconceivable day we would say goodbye.
Our sweet Casey
We had been married two years when he announced firmly that he was done trying, and that we were going to get a divorce. I was shocked at the finality of it, but not necessarily heartbroken, since my love for him had already slowly evaporated.
I over zealously filled out the divorce papers, and commanded that I would be keeping Casey. He did not fight me.
On April 26, he walked into the apartment, opened the mail, and nonchalantly said, “We are divorced now.” Oh.
Ironically I was relieved at the news, and felt freer. I immediately was excited at the prospect of dating again.
Casey helped me pack.
The plane ride to North Carolina went quickly, and Casey was a good boy. I was sad to leave my ward, home, friends, and in-laws, but I was so grateful for my parents’ selfless sacrifice to help Casey and I start our new life.
My dad with Casey
It felt good to have a clean, happy place to live, and I hoped that as long as I focused on making friends, dating, and being the best mom I could, life would be okay.
Except it wasn’t.
I was sad and emotional all the time, rarely smiling or laughing. I was frustrated at how difficult it was to make a happy life in North Carolina, a place I had never before lived.
I put on my best smile, though inwardly, I was crying.
Here is what my life was like with:
Making friends
I had a really hard time making friends. I admit I was ashamed of being divorced with a child, and I was always afraid to tell people about myself, for fear of judgment. Sometimes, it was a reality. Once I started bringing Casey to the Singles’ Ward with me, I noticed that several people stayed away from me, only speaking to me when they had to. I was different, and I stuck out like a sore thumb.
To make up for it, I worked to rekindle some of my friendships from Virginia. I did find some peace emailing good friends, and venting to them. It just didn’t fill the emptiness inside completely.
For months, I was “trying to make my life better than crappy,” and I longed for good friends to spend time with and talk to.
Dating
I wanted to date more that I could ever express to you. I knew that Casey needed a father, and that I needed a husband. That is the way God intended families to be. I couldn’t stand the idea of raising Casey alone.
Right after the divorce was finalized, I felt a huge impulse to reconnect with a young man I had really liked before I went to school. I drove up to Virginia once, and we had an awesome date. We talked all the time and had great chemistry. We were cherished friends. But…he didn’t want a relationship.
There was also a guy I met in my Singles’ Ward who I instantly connected with. I loved going dancing with him, and we hit it off swimmingly. We also had great chemistry. I was confused by how he treated me, though, and in the end, he said didn’t see a long-lasting relationship with me.
For months, those two dates were all I had. I ached for more dates, but I felt like an untouchable – undesirable, unattractive, and not confident.
I tried to look pretty when going to activities.
The only man who showed me that I was wonderful was someone who had loved me since I was 14 – someone who was on a mission, and ironically, someone I never had romantic feelings for. I broke his heart as I told him I would never love him, all the while I was alone with no prospects. It was a sad situation.
Being a good mom
Deciding how to be a good mom was not easy to figure out. My most passionate feelings were that I needed to be with Casey as much as possible – that I needed to be there to nurture him, teach him, and raise him in righteousness. But I knew I couldn’t just be a stay at home mom living in my parent’s house. No, I knew I had to work.
At that time, I felt comfortable working a part-time night job so I could be with my baby during the day, and then have my parents watch him at night. I remember the day I was immediately offered the job at Kerr Drug, my Dad shook his head with disappointment at how much I would be paid. He huffed, “That sucks!” He knew I could do so much better having a Bachelor’s Degree, but I was still confused at his reaction. I was Casey’s mother, and I needed to be the one to raise him.
I also felt dating and having a social life was essential to being a good mom. Casey deserved a father figure in his life, and that wouldn’t happen without me dating. But, it took a toll on my parents to watch him as I went to church activities.
Even though I hated the tension living at home was creating, I just couldn’t stand the idea of working full time. I did apply for other jobs, though, was offered an amazing full time writing position with the Mebane Enterprise. I turned it down when they wouldn’t let me work full time. Stupid decision? Maybe, but it wasn’t to me.
For a while, I placed all my faith in becoming a bus driver. It would be perfect – I could work full time, get good pay, keep my child with me, and have time for social things at night. I waited, followed up, and waited some more. I never got the job, and was crushed.
I was fresh out of ideas, and life wasn’t getting any happier.
My baby was the one who kept me going.
I confided to my missionary friend that “This lifestyle is not any better than my bad marriage. It’s just different, and slightly less damaging to my soul.”
What was I doing wrong? Why wasn’t life getting better?
The Family: A Proclamation to the World, has been a very special document to me. I remember hearing it read aloud for the first time when I was just 11 years old. I was entranced by it, and it helped me know the type of person I wanted to be, and what my priorities should be.
For the months following my divorce, I was determined to get to a point where I could follow the words of the Proclamation:
The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity…
By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.
These words were so important to me. I wanted to have this sacred ordinance of marriage again. I wanted my child to be reared by a mother and a father. I wanted to fulfill my responsibility as a mother by primarily nurturing my child.
I even used this phrase to remind my parents that they should be helping me: Extended families should lend support when needed.
What was I supposed to do, when my parents got to a point that they wanted Casey and me to move out? I couldn’t do those things in the Proclamation without my parents.
But wait…I believe it was my mother who pointed out a phrase I had forgotten in the Proclamation: Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation.
Other circumstances included my circumstance. Rather than being obsessed with changing my life as quickly as possible, I should have been thinking about what was best for Casey and me at that stage in our lives.
My job at Kerr Drug wasn’t helping me use my education, or gain experience in the workforce. Being obsessed with dating and making friends was only causing me disappointment, pain, and impatience. Focusing on my needs at the expense of my parents was only harming our relationship.
I had been doing it all wrong. I also had forgotten this from the Proclamation:
All human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny.
For all these months, and even before that, as I was enduring the emotional abuse in my marriage, I had forgotten that I was a daughter of God, and that I had a divine nature and destiny. I had made myself believe that I only had true worth if I were married with the ideal life. No, I always had divine worth, and I always had a friend in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.
I had been beating myself up for not being a worthy parent, but I had already been doing my best to fulfill these obligations outlined in the Proclamation: Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live.
Pondering on these beautiful messages in the Proclamation helped make the inevitable finding of a full-time job, and putting my sweet son in daycare, more manageable.
It was scary to apply for, and eventually accept, a position at the AICPA in January 2007. Once I accepted the job, though, I felt it was the right thing to do, and I was excited.
The hardest part was finding childcare for my baby. I did, though, and it was my parents’ next door neighbor. I was so sad to leave Casey every day, but I knew in my heart that I was doing something good for us. By working, I would soon be able to support us and move us into our very own home.
Casey at daycare – 2nd birthday
Just a month after starting my job, I emailed this hopeful message to my friend:
Casey is so smart. He talks very well and picks up on things so quickly. His favorite activity is vacuuming. He has a toy vacuum at his day care. My next door neighbor is his child care provider and he loves her. It took him a while to get used to being away from me so much, but he learns a lot over there. It’s hard not being with Casey all day anymore, but it’s probably for the best. I have lost a lot of weight and feel much better about my looks. I have a lot of friends, and just recently met a guy…that I have sort of been dating… So, that’s my life right now. It’s pretty good; I haven’t felt this complete in a long time. I still have a lot of expanding to do in my life, but it’s definitely better than it was.
Life didn’t all of a sudden become perfect. Being a single mom was always hard. I was exhausted trying to run a household, work full time, raise a child, and try to be a good friend and date. But, my hope came back. My confidence came back. Most importantly, my joy came back. I was back to being me, and not who I thought I had to be to matter.
For the four years I was single, I accepted my circumstances, until I met the right man, and married again.
March 6, 2010 Wedding Day
The same Proclamation that helped me accept my circumstances, gave me the strength to leave my wonderful job at the AICPA to finally be able to concentrate on the nurture of [my] children.
Casey and Rigel, my second born
From my experiences being a single mom, I gained a strong testimony that God loves each and every one of His children, and He will bless all of us as we do our very best, whatever our circumstances may be.
I wrote this article for a new website, mum.info. Before I submitted it, I had Casey read it. He said it was beautiful, and he started to cry. When I asked him what was wrong, he said he wasn’t sad, but that he had felt the Spirit. He said reading my words helped him remember the importance of family. He kept repeating over and over that it was the most beautiful thing he had ever read. His reaction penetrated my heart, and I never want to forget it.
“Mommy, why is my last name different than yours? I want your last name!” My son, Casey, was only four when his little voice trembled out those piercing words. He and I had shared the same last name his whole life. It had just been me and him since before he was one year old. I had recently remarried, so my last name was different. And now, I was going to have a baby who would have my new last name. I wanted to cry with Casey, simply because he was sad.
That was six years ago, and I have done all I can to make sure he has no reason to cry over his last name again by:
Encouraging Him to Cherish His Last Name
That was the first step – helping him see that his last name was wonderful. No, it wasn’t my last name, but with a name holds a legacy going back generations. By holding onto his last name, he would be showing pride in his rich heritage, and extending love and appreciation for not only his father, but his father’s extended family.
Showing Him Love Daily
I think it hurt Casey a little when I got remarried. It was no longer just us. Then, when I had more children, he was no longer the only child. There are five of us in our household, and he has a different name than the rest of us. But, as I share my love, attention, and devotion to him daily, having a different name will never make him feel less cherished or important.
Not Asking Him to Pick Sides
It isn’t me against his dad. It never has been. I don’t tell my son that he can’t love, respect, or have a relationship with his father. I don’t tell him that I am a better parent, or place any blame or bitterness in his father’s direction. I do not judge his dad, or speak ill of him to my child. We rather pray for him and his family. I always keep the mind-set that his father is on the same team as me, my husband, and all other family members working to help Casey have a happy life and be a good boy.
Letting Him Spend Time with His Dad
Casey’s father lives far away, so he can’t see him often. However, I encourage regular phone conversations. He also flies to see his dad and extended family each year for several weeks. I have had people tell me that I shouldn’t have to do that because of the circumstances surrounding our divorce, but I feel very strongly that regardless of what happened in our marriage, Casey’s dad will always be Casey’s dad. They should have a relationship, and a strong one at that.
Being Honest about the Divorce
I did not do this when he was four, but about a year ago, I told my son why his father and I divorced. I didn’t water it down, but I also didn’t place blame or judgment. I encouraged my son to continue to have a strong, loving relationship with his dad. I told him to forgive him, pray for him, and encourage him to change his life for the better. I told him I am not sad about the divorce anymore. Though I wish that Casey could always be near me and his dad, I know we are blessed and things have worked out well for us.
Blending Our Family in Love
My husband of over five years is so wonderful to Casey. He always has been, and I knew he would be a wonderful father to him the first time they met. Casey doesn’t refer to him as his stepdad, but as his Daddy. He has two dads, and that is cool. He also thinks of his half-brothers as his brothers. That’s what they are to him. We are a family, and we love each other. There is no need to create those lines of division.
These artificial lines of division apply to me too. When I was first divorced, I thought it would be strange to continue having a relationship with my ex-husband’s extended family. I was uncomfortable by the phone calls and gifts at first, but finally I realized that they hadn’t abandoned me, and there was no rule that they had to. The fact that I wasn’t married to their family member anymore, didn’t all of a sudden erase the bond and love we had with each other. I still speak on the phone with my ex-husband often, and keep in contact with much of his extended family on social media and occasional emails and phone calls. It is a good thing, and it helps.
It is safe to say that my 10-year-old has a very happy life. He has three family trees to call his own. He is loved and cherished by all of them. He knows that there is so much more to family than a name. He knows all families look different, but as long as we are there for each other, we can always feel that we belong and that we are safe.
*I fully recognize this model may not work in its entirety for everyone. I strongly believe, though, that doing as much of this as possible will help your child feel that he belongs, and that life in any family situation can be grand.
I recently mused: A house is a roof over your head, but a home is so much more. To me, home is a very special word. It indicates a place of belonging, a place of love, a place of safety, a place of sacrifice, and a place of peace.
A house is something you build with your hands. It is tangible. A home is also built, but it takes much more intricate, ongoing effort of not only hands, but hearts as well.
Each person who puts his heart and soul into the building of a home might be called a homemaker.
We’ve all heard that word before. Most of us think of this term the way Merriam-Webster does: a wife who does work (such as sewing, cleaning, or cooking) at home and usually does not have another job outside the home.
Sewing, cleaning, and cooking are valuable skills, but alone, they cannot create this sacred place called home.
No, it takes more than that, and it takes every member of the family. I like to think of my family as a team. For our team to be the best it can be, each member must be wholeheartedly devoted to winning the game of life and achieving the joyful victory of being an eternal family.
Not every person in the home team will have the same obligations and roles, but each position, from father to toddler, is essential to win the game.
In our family night last night, my husband and I asked our children what they can do to make our home a happier place.
My ten-year-old, Casey, gave some good answers. He said that he can do nice things for his brothers instead of annoying them. He can help make mom and dad’s lives easier so we have more time to spend together. He can cooperate instead of argue, and let his brothers have their way sometimes.
I loved his answers. He isn’t perfect at any of those things, but I can tell that he truly wants to make this positive contribution to the family he loves. Usually he is a wonderful member of the team, and is a huge helper.
We asked our four-year-old, Rigel, the same question. My husband asked him how he could make Daddy happy, and he said, “Destroy you.” That is a game that they play together. We laughed about it, but to him, playing with his daddy is a way to make our home a happier place.
Several times Rigel has picked flowers for me from outside. Jad asked him why he does that, and he said because he loves Mommy.
He also holds his little brother’s hand sometimes. He often shares his toys, and he does help clean up. He likes to watch us cook, and he likes to play with us. He wants everyone to be happy, and gives good hugs and kisses. He is usually polite, and is good at saying “thank you.”
Kamren, our two-year-old, did not answer the question, of course. He just smiled his adorable, yet mischievous smile. He makes our home a happier place by giving kisses and hugs, cuddling, desiring to learn and be taught, and by making us laugh.
We asked Casey how we can make our home better, and he said to spend more time together. That is really so important. A family whose members are always separate don’t have a chance to talk together, laugh together, listen to each other, play together, cuddle together, or learn from each other. Spending time together shows we love each other and put each other first.
Jad and I want our home to be a holy place, so do our best to have weekly family home evenings, pray as a family and individually, and study our scriptures daily.
Everyone except Kamren takes turns praying for meals or family prayer, but even he knows to fold his arms and bow his head. Casey takes his turn reading scriptures each night. We try to get Rigel to repeat verses too. Even at young ages, our kids know that praying and scripture study are a part of our day to day lives. They remind us to do it too.
Jad is a holder of the Melchizedek priesthood, and has the authority to give priesthood blessings. Our children have so much faith. They know that when they are sick or sad, they can ask for a blessing. Rigel is especially good at asking for blessings for himself or someone else who is sick. Casey and Rigel both received father’s blessings before they started school this year. These blessings offer them comfort and strength.
Here are some other things that we encourage every member of our home team to do:
Help clean and tidy the house.
Pitch in during meal times, either by cooking, setting the table, or cleaning up.
Show affection and respect to each member of the family.
Be discerning of each other’s moods, needs, and desires. Be a good listener.
Only bring in uplifting pictures, books, movies, and music into the house.
Have a positive attitude, and try not to complain.
Keep the commandments of God.
There are countless ways each family member can help make the home a sacred place. If only the mother worked hard to be a homemaker, and nobody else participated, there would be less cheer and a lack of the Spirit.
As Bonnie Oscarson said, “What a difference it would make in the world if all people would see themselves as makers of righteous homes.”
The next time you hear the term homemaker, smile with pride knowing that you are one.
When I was a young adult, moving into the marriage and family mindset, I had some ideas of what I would and wouldn’t do or allow as a parent.
I always figured my kids would stay up late sometimes, and eat junk food on a regular basis. But, I never thought I would do or allow these things:
1. Let the kids eat food in the car, or while walking around the house.
To be fair, I still don’t prefer this, but sometimes, the only way to keep kids happy on long car trips is to let them eat. And keeping the kids sitting at the table sometimes takes more energy than I have left for the day.
2. Eat and drink after the kids.
If you have ever really just watched little kids eat, there is a lot of drool, double dipping, and backwash going on. It is kind of gross. For some reason, though, when it is your kid, it isn’t so gross. And, in my case, I hate wasting food. If my kids don’t want to finish something yummy, like ice cream, or cake, you better believe I am finishing it up.
3. Take the kids places when they are in disarray.
I used to judge the parents who took sticky and stained kids out in public. Now, I understand. Little kids don’t let you clean them up well. Plus, it takes like 30 minutes just to get them ready to get out of the house. Sometimes you just don’t have that kind of time. And shoes? Well, sometimes I assume my husband put them on, and sometimes he assumes I did, and well, sometimes neither of us did it. They’ll be fine.
4. Let them make huge messes.
I don’t do this often, but sometimes, I allow the kids to do messy, chaotic things because I know it will be a memory we will all laugh at later. I used to just stop them and get mad. Now, I see the joy in their faces, and the bonds they make with each other as they spray each other with the hose, throw rice in the air, or paint themselves instead of a picture.
5. Make contact with my kids’ snot and boogers.
Sometimes, your kids need a tissue and you just don’t have it. My fingers more than once have been used to swipe away snot, and to pick out big boogers.
I know, gross. Well, other times my little ones are really sad, and they want to snuggle and give me kisses when they have snot running down their faces. Do I push them away? I couldn’t do that, so I go ahead and kiss their snotty faces, and let them wipe the rest on my sleeve.
6. Roughhouse with them.
I always thought this would be their dad’s job. It is when Daddy’s home, but my three boys want to wrestle, ride on shoulders, and swing around just as much when Daddy isn’t home. My shoulders, arms, legs and back are much stronger than they would be without my boys.
7. Let them sleep with my husband and me.
The kids never start out in bed with us. Sometimes, though, they wake up in the middle of the night. The little ones always come to our room for comfort. We are usually way too tired to sing to them, talk to them, get them stuff, and then put them back to bed. So, we usually hoist them up and lay them in between us. Only when they start kicking us, rolling on top of us, or smacking us, do we put them back in their rooms.
8. Give in to their cuteness.
In our house, we have rules that we try to enforce. It is much easier to enforce these rules when the kids are school-aged. When they are little, though, they are still so adorable. I usually can see past it, but my husband is a sucker for their little eyes, smiles, and pouts. So, sometimes I give in because he does.
I am ashamed to say that sometimes, I even go so far as to laugh when I am reprimanding them, just because they are so adorable.
9. Be the disciplinarian.
This is another one I expected Daddy would do, since that was how it was in my house growing up. But, since I am like my dad, this is more my thing. As I mentioned above, I don’t give in as easily as my husband. I have always been a rule follower, so I expect my kids to do the same. I am not always proud of how I discipline, but I see this as a growing opportunity to help me control my temper, and be gentler.
10. Talk about uncomfortable things in great detail.
I have two little ones, but I also have an older child. I have talked to him about many serious issues in great detail, like sex, pornography, puberty, bullying, etc. I got the watered down version of most of this at school and church, probably because family and teachers hoped the less I knew, the less I would do. Though some of these things can be uncomfortable to talk about, I have realized that as I educate my child about these important issues before outside forces do, he is better prepared for what will come up outside of the home.
At the end of the day, are my kids healthy and happy? Are they educated, loved, and looked after? Yes! So, it is just fine with me that I am a different kind of parent than I thought I would be.
