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Category: Memories/Stories

  • One Roadtrip, Four Ways to Use the Potty

    Since we have been at home so much due to the restrictions surrounding COVID-19, I thought it would be an awesome idea for us to take the kids on a little road trip to Troutman, NC to visit Zootastic.

    We know a couple families whose kids recently called it the best place ever, so we knew we had to go!

    So, yesterday, we left the house mid-morning to make the 1 hour 40 minute drive there. It was around lunchtime when we got to the area, so we dropped by Randy’s Barbeque to get lunch first.

    Jad ordered the food from the car and we waited for him to go get it. The food was pretty good, though the order wasn’t all the way right. The cups of drink were gigantic, though. We were surprised, but sure grateful for that later. (Stay tuned.)

    My brother-in-law and his family decided to go to Zootastic too, after our last minute invitation. They ended up “arriving” before us since we had stopped for lunch. We knew to expect some traffic as we got there, since we had seen a little when we passed it to go get lunch, but as we approached the entrance to the park, we stopped well down the road due to ridiculous amounts of traffic.

    We knew it would be a while, so Jad turned on Bedtime Stories on his phone (thank you, Verizon, and thank you, Disney Plus!). We laughed hysterically as we waited in the super long line (thank you, Adam Sandler!).

    We finally turned left onto the road the park was on, but we were still in bumper to bumper traffic. At that exact moment, Rigel cried out that he really had to go to the bathroom.

    Well, we weren’t near any businesses. We just had a grassy area on our right, and I was not about to have him pee out there when there were cars everywhere. I explained that to him, but it wasn’t registering.

    I looked at one of the gigantic styrofoam cups and said that he should pee in that. Rigel did not like that idea at all. He got panicky and begged for a place to go to the bathroom. He was freaking out about it. While he was doing that, I, being a most compassionate, sympathetic mother, was laughing so hard I had tears streaming down my face. Rigel was nothing but cries of agony, even after realizing the horrible truth that he would have to PEE IN A CUP. He then screamed out about not being able to unbutton his pants, and after we reminded him he didn’t need to, he yelled at Eve not to look. More panic came, but then only relief flooded over him as he finally let it go… and peed in his cup.

    In the 10 years Jad and I have been married, we have NEVER had to have anyone pee in a cup in the car. So, when Eve then said she had to go potty, the joke was on me. Jad told me to handle it.

    What??? What if she pees on me? And on herself? And on the car? Okay, I can handle this.

    I pulled down her pants, told her to bend her knees and squat as much as possible. I held another gigantic cup under her, praying I had positioned it right and I wouldn’t drop it. I was awkwardly leaning down, holding part of her weight on me, and holding the cup. She kept saying that it was coming, but it wasn’t coming. But, then, finally, when I felt hope slipping away and resigned myself to being peed on while the cup cracked in my tired fingers, it finally did come out, and she peed perfectly into the cup. I didn’t drop it, and the day was saved.

    Jad wanted to toss the pee outside, but I said that was gross and tacky, so we didn’t for a while. I heard they did it when I took Kamren to the porta potty a little while later, when we finally turned into the park. Stinkers.

    We thought we were in the home stretch when we turned into Zootastic’s parking lot, but yeah, we could haven’t been more wrong! We were just starting the eternal, snail-paced zigzag of cars. The line was so long, we finished watching Bedtime Stories, and watched most of Tangled before we finally got to the part where we paid, and that’s with pausing the movies every time someone went to the bathroom (which was a lot). I was grateful for the porta potties, which I never thought I’d say, as well as for the extra baby wipes I had packed!

    I found I was grateful for a lot during those hours of sitting in the car. The cell phone movies, cups and porta potties were just the beginning. I was grateful that the kids could unbuckle their seatbelts and move around due to the slow pace. I was grateful that people had their windows down and we could wave to each other and smile at the cute kids. I was grateful for Facebook messenger where we could see my brother-in-law’s family and talk to them. I was so grateful when we were able to wave to their car about three zig zags away. It’s so weird to say it felt amazing to just wave to them, but it did.

    The sweetest experience of waiting in line was Eve being able to sit in her Daddy’s lap and help him “drive” the van. He taught her about turning the wheel, and it was adorable.

    We were all exhausted by the time we paid to enter Zootastic, but also excited. A little ways in, Jad was able to get out and open the trunk so Casey and Rigel could sit in the back. Eve also was in the back occasionally (she kept moving around). It was a chance for my two oldest to bond.

    When compared to how long we waited in the car before actually seeing the animals, the Zootastic experience was quite short, even with the cars going slowly.

    But, we did see some beautiful animals, and some of us got to pet and try to feed them.

    At one point, Kamren really had to go to the bathroom (again), so Jad took him to the portapotty that was right by where our van was at the moment. I didn’t feel right about it, suggesting he also pee in a cup (hey, we were experts by now), but he said they’d be able to catch up.

    Well, the cars started moving faster, and when Jad and Kamren came out, they were going really slow and not catching up. Then Casey and Rigel told me they weren’t moving at all, but were talking to an employee.

    Meanwhile, we kept going further and further away. I couldn’t turn around or pull over. Then, we noticed someone in a tractor drive up to them. Kamren and Jad got to ride in it across the bison field back to the safety of the van! I think they loved it. They may have had an initial scolding from one of the Zootastic workers, but it was an experience they wouldn’t have had otherwise!

    When we finally were done with the drive through zoo, we got to park for the first time in hours to go into the general store. It was well past closing time, like almost 7pm, but we felt so happy to just get out and stretch our legs! And we were grateful they kept the store open. We didn’t get anything (except a gigantic $.99 pen for Kamren), but the kids loved looking around.

    And then I was grateful for a cute picture of our kids outside of it!

    None of us was super excited to get back in the car and go home, since we had been in the car since 10:30ish that morning, but we did. We also had to get food. We weren’t thrilled about going out to eat twice in one day, but at least we have been saving a lot of money on gas and entertainment lately!

    I researched the closest Papa John’s, found one 15 minutes away in Mocksville, placed an online order quickly, and it was ready by the time we dropped by Sheetz to get drinks and then arrived to pick it up. I am grateful for modern technology that made the food ordering so easy! And I’m grateful Sheetz has gum, because Eve was having a huge tantrum about wanting gum right before we got there (she hadn’t had her “beauty rest”).

    We didn’t watch any more movies on the way home. We just ate, listened to music, and relaxed the best we could. And we made it home, only having to stop once for Kamren to go to the bathroom. So, that day, people went to the bathroom one of four ways – in a cup, in a porta potty, in a real bathroom (thank goodness for one of those by the general store), and the side of the road. What a potty-tastic adventure!

    Not long before getting home, we sang a hymn and read scriptures on my phone. I was grateful once again for cell phones.

    Are you tired reading this? Imagine how we felt!

    But, at least we can remember this day of trying to have fun during COVID-19 with fondness and hilarity.

    And maybe we’ll just go back to hiking until this mess is over! Hiking is easy and we can get out of the car. 😀

  • The New Normal (For Now)

    Early this month, from March 5-8, Jad and I went to Asheville, NC to celebrate our 10th anniversary. It was wonderful to go out and do exactly what we wanted and spend lots of time together, mostly stress-free. It was sweet, peaceful, and exciting – just what we needed.  

    But when we got back from our trip, we were hit hard with all the things we had to do, how busy our schedule was for that week and every week after, and how difficult the kids were to deal with. True, it was just our normal life again, but the contrast from the days before was astounding. We love our children to pieces and would do anything for them, but they weren’t making it easy for us!

    Then, just a few days later we were told Orange County Schools would be closed from Monday, March 16 through at least April 3. But that wasn’t all – soccer was canceled, and then church, and as time has gone on, almost everything we would normally do with the kids or together has closed (i.e. children’s museums, movie theaters, libraries, restaurant dining rooms), with the exception of parks and nature trails.

    What a whirlwind of a month! And yesterday we found out that school will be closed until at least May 15!

    I have a lot of thoughts and feelings swirling around my head from the past couple weeks.

    Regarding School: I am definitely learning a lot more about patience and multi-tasking now that I have to home school. It was really hard the first couple days, but I’ve gotten the hang of it. We’ve been lucky, too. The teachers have been providing lots of assignments, online and paper, so we know what we need to do, at least for now.

    Even though home schooling is hard and not ideal in many ways, many of my concerns have been alleviated: no bullying, no bad influences or temptations at school, and no uncomfortable bus rides. That has actually been a great blessing.

    Of course it’s hard not being around friends, and some classes, like band, just can’t be done online, but being at home for schooling reduces the amount of time away from home and each other, and being at home helps the kids (especially Rigel) focus more.

    Regarding Activities: To be honest, I was not that sad when soccer got canceled. I was so overwhelmed at how much time soccer for Kamren and Rigel (him especially) would be taking from our time together as a family, especially on the weekends. The boys were sad at first, but they haven’t mentioned it. And they still play soccer in the back yard sometimes. Tae Kwon Do took longer to be canceled, but it hasn’t been that hard without it. It’s a wonderful skill the boys are learning, but our Monday through Wednesday evenings have been clear. We haven’t had to rush anywhere, and the boys still practice their moves at home. It isn’t completely ideal that we can’t go to the museum or the library or many parks anymore, but the kids have been playing outside a lot, reading a lot, and Casey has also been teaching his brothers Dungeons and Dragons, which they play daily, so they are still having fun. Piano is a little different – they can’t go in person, but Casey and Rigel are doing online lessons, which is not as easy, but still works! I’m glad they are still practicing.

    I am so happy, through all these changes that my kids aren’t on electronics and TV all the time, which has been great! So, even though I think the activities we normally have are good, we now know we can have just as much fun doing things at home. We’ve been having lots of fun outside and making fun food and treats. We also are feeling how nice it is not to have to rush everywhere all the time.

    The one thing that I don’t like about just about everywhere being closed is that Jad and I really can’t go on date nights right now. We can obviously do things at home, but I miss getting out and about. I look forward to when we can go out on dates again!

     

    Regarding Church and Church Activities: This one has been harder. I truly miss my church family, and the kids miss their church friends. It isn’t ideal that all church activities are canceled for now, we can’t go to church Sundays, nor can we do choir, etc. However, having church at home the past couple weeks has been lovely. It hasn’t been perfect, but I have felt the Spirit strongly as we have sung, prayed, had the Sacrament, bore testimony, discussed the scriptures together, and more.

    I have an even stronger testimony of our prophet, President Nelson, who I know communes with God. Our church’s Come, Follow Me program came out a little over a year ago, and because we have it, we can have meaningful gospel discussion and learning in the home. We haven’t been worried about growing spiritually because of the abundance of wonderful resources our church has from manuals to videos to magazines to activities.

    https://www.facebook.com/russell.m.nelson/videos/199840471336927/

    The biggest blow to me, out of all the closures, has been the temples being closed. I made a promise this year to attend the temple faithfully once a month. Due to the temple closures, I cannot keep that promise right now. There is no place I feel more peace than in the temple, and I have a strong testimony of the work that goes on there. I know that they will reopen soon enough, so I am waiting patiently for that day!

    Regarding Social Distancing: This has also been so hard! We have so many friends, loved ones, and family in the area. Not being able to see them either not at all, or not as often, is really hard. I am so grateful, though, that we have modern technologies that allow us to text, call, send photos, and video chat. And since it is springtime, being outside together is usually pleasant!

    So even though we don’t see many people right now, at least the six people in my house have each other to hold on to, and can feel the love from others through other means.

     

    In General: I have gone from completely calm and full of faith, to overwhelmed, to a little worried, back to overwhelmed. There have been so many changes so fast, and there are so many unknowns. Yet, through it all, I still maintain my faith that God is with us and He knows exactly what’s going on. He’s there to help us through.

    I know what my family is experiencing is only one of many experiences, and what is a blessing for me may actually be very difficult for someone else. I have compassion for those in very difficult situations at this time. I pray for you and wish the best for you.  I do hope, though, that regardless of our circumstances surrounding this virus, that we can see blessings in it.

    I have felt from the beginning of these temporary lifestyle changes that God is trying to wake us up, to tell us that we need to be prepared temporally and spiritually, because this is just the beginning of things that will happen on the earth in the last days. That doesn’t frighten me – it gives me hope because I know God is merciful.

    Why is this virus here? Why has God allowed it? Perhaps that’s the biggest question for believers.

    Well, there could be many reasons. It could be chastisement; it could be a please to turn back to Him; it could be a way to us to get our priorities straight and realize what really matters; it could be to unite us as people and families; it could be to encourage us to show compassion and give meaningful service to those who need it; or it could be all of those reasons and more.

    All I know is, God is all-knowing and the circumstances surrounding this virus, though a nuisance and worrisome in many ways, have and will bring good fruits as we choose how we will react to them.

     

    It may be a while before things go “back to normal,” and the question I have is, will there be a “new normal” when all is said and done? Perhaps, and it probably wouldn’t be a bad thing.

    What have your experiences been during this time of quarantine? Have you seen blessings too? How has your life changed?

  • Try Something New – Stretch Yourself

    I’m turning 36 this year, and I have had some sort of an awakening recently – there are a lot of things I have never done and don’t know how to do that would be super cool to learn about and to do.

    I’ve always had my core interests, such as singing, acting, reading, writing, public speaking, cooking and baking, spending time with friends and family, and going to museums, and while those things still bring me joy, I realized there is so much more out there, and I have been limiting myself.

    It’s easy to say things like, “I’m not athletic,” or “I can’t even boil water,” or “I don’t have a green thumb,” or “I’m too shy to do that.” But is it true? Why can’t we get better at certain things? Why can’t we just try a little harder?

    Some things definitely come more naturally to me. But even as someone who love to act, sing, and speak, these were things I had to build up the courage to do and to do well. I am naturally very shy, and still am in large groups, especially when I am not in control of what’s happening. But, I stretched myself in middle school, and tried out a drama class. It changed my life.

    That’s not the only time I have done something out of my nature – I actually held a snake once, and this year I got some color in my hair. I’m sure there are other examples, but generally, I have stuck with what’s comfortable and natural, as I’m sure most of us have.

    I have decided that this year going forward I will be trying new and interesting things to see what new hobbies and skills I can come up with. I want to be a more complete version of myself, and do better at reaching my potential as a person.

    For example, for Valentine’s Day this year, instead of Jad and I going out to dinner or a movie or something obvious like that, we did an intro to fencing couple’s class. We had an absolute blast, and it’s a night we will never forget. I hope to go back and do it again.

    With Jad at Mid-South Fencers’ Club in Durham, NC on February 14, 2020

    Jad and I also just got back from our 10-year anniversary trip to Asheville, NC. I wanted our trip to be there because I was so excited about the Downton Abbey exhibits at the Biltmore Estate. I spent many, many hours researching other things to do in our time there, and surprisingly, I felt drawn to more outdoor activities, like hiking to a waterfall, going horseback riding, and going whitewater rafting. And guess what? Those were my absolute favorite activities of the whole trip! It wasn’t the shopping or food or exhibits that made me happiest – it was the experience of doing something new and exciting.

    At Catawba Falls March 5, 2020
    At Sandy Bottom Trail Rides in Marshall, NC on March 7, 2020
    With Jad on the French Broad River in Marshall, NC on March 7, 2020

    To be fair, I had hiked to a waterfall before, but hiking is a fairly new love of mine (going to Chimney Rock with the kids last year was what brought that on). But, I had never ridden a horse before, unless you count me sitting on one while someone led me around in a square like 20 years ago. So, I went from that to riding up in the mountains with many steep hills and windy curves. And I had never thought in my life I would white water raft, but I knew my husband had done it, and I thought it would be fun to try. It was more than fun – it is something I want to do every year and eventually take my kids to do.

    I fully admit that I was scared to death for some of the horseback riding. We got awful close to the edge sometimes, and one time I thought I was going to fall off while going down a very steep hill. But I didn’t! And the seemingly endless instructions for whitewater rafting freaked me out a little, thinking I would forget everything and fall out of the raft and die, but then everything worked out just fine. I gave my all, and it was quite the adventure!

    I haven’t built up to zip-lining yet, but that’s next on my list. And then maybe rock climbing. Who knows? It is exhilarating to do new things, and then realize you love them!

    I know that part of my desire to stretch myself is because I have gotten healthier in the past year due to working out regularly and eating healthy (most of the time). That has also been quite the stretch, honestly.

    So, if you are reading this, think of something you have never thought you could do, and find a way to go do it! Maybe it’s shooting at a shooting range, learning how to garden, taking a dance class, learning an instrument – the sky’s the limit!

    Don’t tell yourself you can’t do something or you wouldn’t be good at it. If you say it and believe it, you’ll be right. But, if you decide that you can do hard things, then you can. You will just need to take that first step! It may take several steps and lots of work, but just get started and see where you’ll go!

    You are worth it – stretch yourself!

  • Goodbye, PB and Apple Jelly!

    You know the end of the story based on the title, but let me start at the beginning: Back in October 2017, Jad and I excitedly and proudly opened our e-commerce store, PB and Apple Jelly.

    We had spent tons of time and effort on it, and really loved what we came up with. We knew something good would come of it. Once we launched, I did the best I could to run the store with the knowledge I had, but I knew I needed some more help to really help my store thrive.

    Then in February of 2018, I was thrilled to have the opportunity to go to an elite training in Maryland with the very successful creator of ZeroUp, Fred Lam, and his associates. It was such an empowering experience and my store began to quickly excel from the knowledge I gained.

    Because my store had done so well, and because I had been such a “ninja” at my elite training, I was asked to be an elite trainer for the October 2018 ZeroUp Elite conference. That was such an honor.  I got to sit and eat with Fred Lam many times, and I was his equal there. Can you imagine me, an equal to a multi-millionaire??

    I loved training new e-commerce store owners who were eager to learn and succeed. At that point, my store wasn’t doing as well as it had before, but I was still working hard on it and learned some new things at the conference. In contrast to the conference in February where I was a student, I actually didn’t feel as happy at this conference. I missed my family more, and I felt like I didn’t fit in. Fred and his people had a different lifestyle that included lots of eating and drinking at fancy restaurants and focusing on making lots of money. Fred’s assistant and I had a good conversation one day at lunch, though, about her wanting a baby, and that was the one time I felt like I made an authentic connection with any of these successful people. Other than that, I really felt like a poseur. But, I did enjoy my time training, and I was sad to say goodbye to the students I helped.

    I continued to work as hard as I could on my store, but then in 2019, when I was super busy learning lines, music, and dance moves for my church’s musical Seussical, I realized that I just didn’t have the time to put my all into my business at that time. So, I stopped doing ads, and either did less or no marketing emails. I kept the store open, but knew I couldn’t invest the time I had previously done.

    There were many times during the beginning of 2019 and beyond that I felt maybe it was time to close the store down. But, every time I thought about it, like magic, I would get a really good order or two. To me, it was a sign from God that I needed to continue. So, I did.

    Later in the year, though, I decided to turn off most of my store apps and only pay for the website monthly fee. I did try another ad once or twice, but no matter how good I thought they were or how awesome the products were, they surprisingly weren’t successful.  

    And finally, at the end of last month (January 2020), I made the difficult decision to completely shut down my beloved PB and Apple Jelly, a store that was built from my heart, a store that I had spent thousands of hours building and operating. I had a month from shutting it down to make the final decision whether or not to reopen it. I decided not to.

    So, it’s gone now.

    People often ask me how my store is doing, and the couple people I have told that I shut it down have been quite surprised.  They knew how passionate I was about it, how successful it had been at one time, and how many people loved shopping on the site, especially for clothes.

    So, let me explain a little more why I came to the decision I did:

    1. Remember the miracles I talked about – how every time I talked about closing the store, I would get an awesome order? Well, that stopped happening.
    2. We initially started the store to make extra income. Well, we got it for quite a while, but because of promotions at work, we no longer needed the extra income.
    3. The store, though a very exciting endeavor for me, took up an incredible amount of time. I would wake up every morning early and work on it for a couple of hours. Then I would work on it here and there during the morning while I was with Eve. I would work super hard on it all during naptime too, and then when my boys got home from school, I would still be working. I would also work in the evenings sometimes too, which kept me from spending quality time with Jad. It was way more work than I ever anticipated – way more work than the gurus at ZeroUp said it would be. (PS – that’s the way it always is with home businesses. They always tell you that you make your own hours and work around your schedule, spending as little or as much time as you want, but that’s just not true!)
    4. Because I spent so much time on the store, and thus energy, I would eat to curb exhaustion and to help me keep going. I’d often make myself bowls of edible cookie dough or eat a large cup or more of sugary cereal. It was bad, and definitely keeping me from losing weight.
    5. I figured out too late that if you want to make a ton of money with an e-commerce store, you have to invest a ton of money in ads, in apps, in videos and pictures, and so much more. I didn’t have money to burn, so I couldn’t put a lot into it.
    6. I realized from my training class and from the class I trained at, that almost nobody who takes the classes ends up being successful with e-commerce, and that frustrated me. We always had to be on top of the market, paying for more training and programs. Too many of us just couldn’t do it. We tried so hard and did what we had learned, but the money was scarce and so was time.
    7. When I would get returns, it was hard to make that money back. I would lose all the profit, and sometimes I wouldn’t even get back the product cost because it was too hard to resell the item.
    8. The store stopped bringing me joy. It brought me more frustration than anything towards the end. Even when I did no work on the store at all, and just let orders organically come in through google searches, it was still a lot of work to make sure all went through.
    9. It just was no longer necessary. It had served its purpose. I learned a lot and met some cool people. But, it was keeping me from doing many things that were way more important to my life.

    So what am I doing instead?

    Well, I have spent quite a lot of time pondering and praying about what is best for me to do with my time. It has been a glorious exercise, and organically changes over time.

    1. I have been trying very hard to focus on my children when they are around me and not doing other projects unless absolutely necessary.
    2. I have been reading my scriptures and working out every morning.
    3. I have been writing a book, blogging more, communicating with my extended family and friends more, doing more service, reading more spiritual messages, and working hard on my genealogy, which has been my favorite hobby. It brings me so much happiness!

    So, looking above at what I have been doing, doesn’t that seem so much more rewarding than stressing about an online store all day and all evening? It is – so much more so!

    I don’t feel like a failure. I know that I put my all into my store, and it was fun and rewarding for the time it was supposed to be there. I also truly experienced what it might be like to live life with completely different priorities, and it solidified in me just how precious my family is, as well as my physical and spiritual health.

    If anyone reading is drowning in an endeavor that just isn’t bearing fruit the way you hoped, please ponder and pray to see if it’s right to continue. And don’t feel bad if it’s time to move on. I really think that we should often ponder our lives and reprioritize what’s most important. It is such a rewarding process.

    Goodbye, PB and Apple Jelly. Thank you for the learning experiences you provided me!

  • Misjudging

    Have you ever misjudged someone? I have.

    I am thinking about it a lot right now. For much of this school year, I have been so very concerned and upset about one of my kids’ teachers. I have contacted the principal more times than I can count, and have felt so helpless thinking my son has a terrible teacher who never communicates and is incompetent. It has gotten to the point where I have almost had him put in another class.

    I felt a very similar concern a few years ago, when another of my sons was in kindergarten. Once, after a particularly difficult incident of bullying, I contacted the principal expressing my concerns from the entire year, saying that I felt that my son wasn’t loved or praised at all, but rather always put down and targeted. I felt that no extra care had been taken with him to help him succeed in school, and I had actually not even been aware he was struggling until half the year was over. I really felt like his teacher didn’t have his best interests at heart.

    In both situations, I felt that my boys’ teachers weren’t doing their jobs well, and I had plenty of evidence to prove it.

    I was reminded of that kindergarten teacher today, and how after a meeting with her and the principal three years ago, she had pulled me aside, put her hand on my shoulder gently, and told me she was on my side and my son’s side. She even made sure he got the best teacher for his needs the following year. I ended up sending her a grateful email for her kindness. This experience had crossed my mind more than once this year, but I set it aside thinking this teacher was so much worse!

    Now fast forward to today and the current teacher problem. I was so nervous to meet with her for my son’s parent/teacher conference. I wasn’t sure what she knew about my communications with the principal, and I was on edge. Well, as I approached the building, she was saying goodbye to another parent that she had just walked to the door.

    She kindly greeted me and started a conversation about Halloween as we walked to her classroom. She even spoke of the weather last night as being appropriate for the night, which was cool because I had said the same thing to my family the night before.

    We sat down, and though her desk and room were a bit messy and she wasn’t super organized, she spoke about my son’s strengths and needs articulately, and was very complimentary of his behavior. She even complimented Jad and I as parents due to how respectful and kind our son is at school.

    Things were going better than I expected. I felt a little nudge to offer to help her by cutting things out or sharpening pencils. She laughed and said she will probably take me up on that since she is so busy and she isn’t too fond of cutting circles and sharpening pencils. I realized then that not once that year had she (or any teacher of my kids) sent a message asking for help with classroom needs. At my kids’ last school, we were asked on a weekly basis (sometimes more) to help the teachers.

    After I offered this help, which I imagine she greatly needs, she opened up about different things, and a lot of the issues I had with her suddenly started to make sense. She had come from a different county and was getting used to how things work in this one. She expressed frustration with some of the same things I have been frustrated about, such as books that are sent home. As we talked, I offered some suggestions to help, and she liked what I had to say.

    During our meeting she also apologized for some of the confusion that had happened with homework and she invited me to text her anytime I had a question.

    Through talking to her, I realized that she isn’t incredibly technologically savvy, and she also thought she had to use her own data to send messages at school. I was able to offer some insight and suggestions there.

    Finally, she solemnly told me that her sister is chronically ill, and that has kept her distracted somewhat. I felt such a sympathy for her. Life clearly is very hard for her right now, and look at me, a judgmental parent who has been complaining about her weekly to the principal.

    As this teacher walked me to the door and said a warm goodbye, I felt like we had connected, and I felt a lot of peace and hope. I also felt humbled.

    As I walked to the car, I realized how I had misjudged her. I should have learned from the first time I misjudged a teacher three years ago.

    My concerns – have they been valid in both cases? Yes, absolutely. Were those concerns the complete fault of the teacher? Maybe not. Could some of the issues and bad feelings been solved and avoided with a face-to-face meeting? Absolutely!

    I am not 100% sure that all of my many concerns with my son’s teacher will be resolved after this one meeting, but I now have had a chance to get to know his teacher some. I have seen her humanity and her struggles, as well as her good intentions. I now can be certain that I can contact her (in the way she is most comfortable) and she will do her best.

    I don’t know if me writing this will help anyone, but it has helped me to get it out. I won’t pretend that these have been my only two instances of ever misjudging people, but perhaps these are the two that will always stay closest to my mind.

    So, if you find yourself really frustrated with a teacher or someone else who is supposed to be a person of trust to you or your family members, perhaps the best thing to do would be to sit down and get to know that person better. You may find that you were mistaken in some ways, and that in the ways you weren’t, perhaps you can be a help. Rise to the occasion you want the other person to rise up to and try to be a team if you can.

    I think at the end of the day, we are all doing our best – sometimes our best is quite different (maybe drastically different) than somebody else’s best, but I think if we all tried to see the potential in each other, we would care for and respect each other a lot more.

    So, learn from my experiences, and talk to the source. That source probably isn’t as bad as you think. They just don’t know what you are feeling unless you tell them. Don’t be afraid like I have been – we are all human, after all.

     

  • When you start to feel too cool for your parents…

    My oldest son, Casey, started high school this year. It hit me not long ago that I only have FOUR MORE YEARS with my first born – with my precious son who made me a mother.

    I know that time will fly by, and it’s been hurting my heart that my time with him is so short. He’s growing into a man, and in a few short years he will have his own life without his siblings and parents.

    Casey just had his first high school band concert a few days ago. I burst with pride as I watched him passionately playing his trombone. He was part of two real bands with so much talent and drive. I was and am so incredibly proud of his efforts to become a musician.

    After the concert was over, I was so happy to see him (my husband and other kids had already left because it was getting late). Casey helped clean up the stage with a smile. Once he was done, we walked towards the exit doors of the auditorium, and I told Casey I wanted to take a selfie with him. He was hesitantly willing, and as we walked into the empty vestibule, I pulled out my phone for a quick photo. We posed for the selfie, both smiling, but before the camera could even flash, Casey had bolted away from the camera and out of the auditorium, clearly afraid someone would come in and see us taking the photo.

    The freshly taken picture of my smiling face and a blurry image of someone fleeing the scene burned a hole in my brain, and a pain in my heart. I was crushed, and I was speechless. I felt an instant loss of joy.

    As we got in the car, I expressed my sadness at him not taking the picture with me, and I started to weep, like really weep. I couldn’t talk about it, so I cried in silence.  

    You may think this was an overreaction on my part, but if you couple my sad realization about Casey leaving us in four years with him starting to be embarrassed of me, you may understand how this was more than my heart could bear.

    We drove in awkward silence for a while, but finally I did try to talk to him more about how he hurt me. He seemed to understand, and when we dropped by a friend’s house to pick up some pallets on the way home, he rolled up his tuxedo sleeves and helped me. He wouldn’t let me do it by myself.

    The rest of the way home, we were both feeling better and were able to talk about the concert as if nothing had happened. Then, when we got home, Casey made sure I didn’t unload the van by myself even though he had a lot of homework to do. He was very loving and hugged me, telling me he loved me.

    That’s the son that I have always adored.

    I am telling this story as a way to speak to all the teenagers out there. I won’t pretend I don’t remember what it is like to be a teen – I do. I remember wanting to fit in so much, wanting the popular kids to accept me, and I do remember sometimes being embarrassed to be around my parents.

    Believe me, I remember and I understand. But, there is something so much more important than all those things. I know that now that I am a mother myself.

    Mothers and fathers devote their lives to raising their children – to making sure they are healthy, happy, provided for, taught, and loved. Being a parent is a selfless job, and due to the love and service parents provide to their children every single day, they love them more than the children will ever know – at least until they also become parents.

    So, my teenager friends, when you start to have that feeling that your parents are too uncool for you, or that you look uncool with them, I ask you to please reconsider your thoughts.

    The truth is, your parents will always be there for you and will always love you. They support you more than any friend ever could. And to be honest, a true friend would want you to be close to your parents. It makes me sad to think that a friend would make fun of you for taking a selfie with your mom, or hugging your dad, or saying “I love you” to them both.

    It hurts your parents when you push them away. See, they have rocked you to sleep, kissed your booboos, played with you to see you laugh, comforted you when you were sad, celebrated every holiday and birthday with you, and taught you how to be a good person for so long. It has brought them so much joy – you have brought them so much joy.

    Continue to let them find joy in you and you in them. A parent/child bond is one that should never be compromised. It’s one of the most important relationships you will ever have. It should mirror your relationship with your Heavenly parents.

    So, talk to your parents about everything, and they will listen to you. Respect how they feel about things and they will respect you. Trust them and they will trust you. Show love and help them out as they have always done for you.

    As for my son: Casey, I love you. You will always be my little boy, but I also love the young man you have become, and will continue to develop into. I hope we will have a strong bond your whole life – it would make me the happiest mother in the world.

  • Want to Visit Palmyra? Read This!

    My family just did a 1-week trip to Palmyra, NY the second week of July, 2019. We experienced and learned so much, so I wanted to share some tips, suggestions, and experiences to help anyone else who wants to visit this wonderful area!

    For those of you who have no idea where Palmyra, NY is, it’s in upstate New York. It doesn’t look anything like you would expect. It’s green and gorgeous, with lovely mountains and valleys, and lots of farmland. You will love driving there if you do!

    So, why is Palmyra important? Well, it’s the place where the history of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints began. There are many places in and around Palmyra that members of the church hold very sacred. It is a place I highly recommend anyone visit. Now that we know where it is and why it’s significant, let’s move on to my tips, shall we?  

    Planning your trip: I spent countless hours planning our trip to a T. We barely followed what I planned. We did go to the places I planned, but the order in which we did everything, and the days, changed based on weather, how long we were at certain places, etc. I do recommend if you are going to the church history sites and are able to spread them out, do it, especially if you have small children. It’s nice to do the spiritual, historical things and then do something more creative or fun. All the Palmyra places are close to each other, so it’s okay if you drive a little out of the way. It does not matter which order you do the church history sites, but you will probably want to go to the Priesthood Restoration Site on your way to your trip or on the way home. The only other site outside of Palmyra is the Peter Whitmer Farm. Just go first thing in the morning and then head back to Palmyra, or wherever you want to spend the rest of your day. Do not skip ANY of the sites if you can help it. Those two sites were two of our favorites.       

    Driving in the car with kids: I wish I had the magic answer for this, haha! I do know the kids did best when they had movies to watch (we just brought and hooked up our laptop), books to read, and fun music to listen to. They also liked having blankets and stuffed animals with them. Bring lots of food and snacks. We often ate lunch in the car throughout the trip. The more space the kids have, generally the better. Maybe put a bag in between them. That actually helped us!

    Stops along the way: If traveling from the east coast (we are in NC), great stops going up or coming back from Palmyra are Hershey, PA and Gettysburg, PA. We stopped in Hershey on the way and Gettysburg on the way back.

    Hotel Recommendation:  Homewood Suites by Hilton in Victor, NY. We loved it because they served breakfast each morning (with variations on the menu), and they had a social M-Th from 5-7 that worked super well as dinner. We took advantage of the social three out of four nights. They also had a pool, hot tub, nice fitness room, and more. They even have fresh cookies at the front desk every morning.  It was a very clean and comfortable place in a great location in between Palmyra and Rochester. As another note, we booked our hotel in January to stay in July. Book your hotel early!

    Tolls: There are tolls around that area of upstate New York. The first toll you stop at you will get a ticket. At the second, you will pay the toll. It’s cash only, but isn’t super expensive. Just have cash and change on hand.

    Weather and Bugs: Definitely pack the bug spray. There are tons of mosquitoes in the summertime. We heard it would be really humid there, but honestly, it was nothing compared to NC. It was actually sometimes too chilly, so maybe pack a light jacket or sweater.

    Anti-Latter-day Saint Protesters and Sites: The church history sites of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints are sacred places. They are places where you will feel the Spirit of the Lord very strongly, places where you will feel peace and a tugging at your heart. You will feel of God’s love so abundantly. Unfortunately, Satan is also at work. Near or at most of the sites you will see buildings that advertise websites, exhibits or videos that are meant to pull you away from that Spirit. At the pageant, it is no different. There were a group of people with signs, and one man on a megaphone saying some very hurtful, untrue things about Latter-day Saints. My best advice is to not listen to them. They are not trying to help, but rather to hurt. If you are a member of the church, just think about how you feel when you are in these sacred places and at church. Remember God’s love for you and don’t doubt it. If you aren’t a member of our church, please try to find out for yourself if what our church claims is true. Listen to your heart, study it out, and pray. You will not find truth about our church from those who hate it, but only through the Spirit as you read the Book of Mormon, learn about Joseph Smith, and pray fervently. Truth will always be opposed, and to find truth, we need to go to the source.

    The Hill Cumorah Pageant:

    This pageant is the biggest reason we went to Palmyra. The pageant ends after next year, sadly, so we highly recommend you go in 2020. It’s free, there is ample parking, and it’s right next to the Hill Cumorah Visitors Center. The stage is huge, and there really isn’t a bad seat. If you do wish to reserve a seat, you can do so from noon on. I do recommend doing it if you can, but it’s not required. Watch the weather and be prepared for rain. Bring blankets, ponchos, jackets, etc. It will not only be wet, but cold. The pageant is only canceled if there is thunder and lightning.

    Here is our experience: As we walked to our seats, it was wonderful to speak to cast members before we sat down. They were all so nice. Right before the show was to begin, sadly, it started pouring down rain. It was a cold and fat rain. Luckily, we had ponchos and rain jackets. The show began anyway, and even though the weather made it a little hard to focus, it was still a beautiful production. The rain let up occasionally, but always started to pour back down after a few minutes. Just when I felt I could no longer take the cold and wet (I had given my poncho to one of my sons), the rain stopped and stayed stopped. It stopped around the time the Savior was introduced into the story. It was poignant for me. My little girl ended up next to me at one point when Jesus was on stage. I whispered to her that Jesus loves her, and not long after that, she fell asleep on me. I felt the Spirit so strongly at the pageant, especially closer to the end with Christ visiting the Americas, Moroni burying the plates, and then finally the miraculous events leading to the restoration of the gospel. Oh, it was so worth seeing. Once it was over, we followed thousands of people to the parking lot. My husband was able to help get a car out of the mud. Our hearts were full that night.

    Our experience with the historical sites of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints:

    Priesthood Restoration Site in Oakland Township, PA (used to be called Harmony) – As we got closer to the site, and were driving along the river, My husband and I both felt such a peace. We felt that the place we would soon arrive at was a sacred place, and that miraculous events truly happened there. The whole experience was wonderful, from the video to the Visitors center, to the walk to the Hale and Smith home, to the cemetery visit where Joseph and Emma’s first sweet baby is buried, to actually being at the river near where John the Baptist appeared to Joseph and Oliver and gave them the priesthood authority to baptize. We loved our visit to this wonderful place.

    The Hill Cumorah – The Visitors center was beautiful and we felt so happy there. We loved sitting in front of the Christus and hearing Christ’s words. There were so many things to read and watch there. My husband was so full of the Spirit there. He sat and contemplated alone for a bit. We then walked up to the actual hill, the Hill Cumorah, where the prophet Moroni buried the gold plates hundreds of years ago, and where he, as an angel, would show them to Joseph Smith with a sacred charge to translate them. I loved being there. We didn’t want to go down. Walking back down, we felt so much joy and peace.

    Grandin Building, the Book of Mormon Publication Site – It wasn’t easy in there because nothing was really touchable, and our little ones wanted to touch everything and run around. Regardless, we gained so much appreciation for the time and care that went into publishing this sacred work. It took two years and $3000 up front to publish 5000 books. The whole process was painstaking. I think I would have lost my mind doing any one part of it. We got to take home a replica of the first 16 pages printed. One of our sons was so excited about that. I was too! We also loved seeing the gorgeous original works of art. We felt the Spirit so much.

    Peter Whitmer Farm – This site is about 35 minutes from Palmyra in Waterloo. We watched a wonderful video. The kids were good the whole time and very quiet. I felt the Spirit so strongly. This farm was where Joseph Smith and Oliver Cowdery finished translating the plates. It’s where the three and eight witnesses were chosen. And it’s where the church was founded. The first Sacrament meeting was in the Whitmer home. It was such a beautiful and special place to be. I loved how excited one of my sons was to hold a replica of the first edition of The Book of Mormon. He wanted me.to take photos of every angle.

    The Sacred Grove and Smith Family Farm – This is where the restoration all began. It wasn’t my favorite site, mostly because there was no video in the welcome center and  the tour wasn’t very organized, but ultimately, it felt amazing to be able to walk into the grove where Joseph Smith as a 14-year-old boy knelt to pray vocally for the first time. He was not sure which church he should join, and somewhere in that grove of trees by his home, he was visited by two Heavenly personages, Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. Walking in that grove only further solidified my testimony, and that of my family. I was so proud of my boys for individually going off, finding a spot in the grove, and praying to their Heavenly Father. It was so precious, and an experience I will never forget.

    Places other than the church history sites that we went to and loved:

    Palmyra:

    Park down the road from EB Grandin Building – I don’t know the address, but if you are walking past the Grandin building as it’s on your right, you will see a cute little park with old-fashioned play equipment. My kids had so much fun there and it was a great place to relax for a while. It was hot, but pretty shady.

    Pal-Mac Aqueduct County Park –The Eerie Canal runs through it and there is a small waterfall. There isn’t much there, but the kids had a lot of fun in the open field and jumping off rocks. It was a nice place to just relax and run for a bit.

    Palmyra Community Library – I am so glad I found this library! They do lots of fun activities all summer, and they also served free lunch to all children up to age 18 from 12-12:30 M-Th. We ate lunch there twice on our stay. It’s also a great library in general – it’s big and there’s a great children’s section with toys and books.

    Alvin Smith’s Gravesite – Alvin Smith was Joseph Smith’s brother who died in his 25th year. It was tender to talk to the kids about how Alvin hadn’t been baptized, which worried his family, but what a blessing it was when the Lord revealed to Joseph Smith about baptisms for the dead in the house of the Lord.

    Palmyra New York Temple – My husband did a session at the temple one day while the kids and I were at a storytime at the library. If you aren’t an endowed member of the church, it’s still wonderful to walk the temple grounds. It was so humbling and beautiful to think that on the Smiths’ very farmland now stands a glorious temple of the Lord. Did Joseph forsee that day? We felt so happy at the temple.

    Macedon:

    Long Acre Farms – This town is super close to Palmyra. It was hot and we were almost the only ones at the farm, but there is so much for kids to do, like jumping pillows, playgrounds, a huge tube to slide down, and much more. All of my kids had a blast, and it’s affordable to go there.

    Rochester:

    Highland Park Playground  – We went here to play for a bit before going to the Strong Museum. It’s a great place to climb, practice balance, and use your imagination. We loved it.

    The Strong Museum of Play – If you are ever in upstate NY, and have kids, you must take them here. We were there for a super long time and barely got through the whole thing. It’s probably the coolest, most fun museum we have ever been to in our lives. All of my kids found things they loved. My husband and I also had a blast. Little tip- if you spend $20 on tokens to play in the arcade, you will be able to play 100 games. That was a great deal, lol. It was so cool to see how toys have changed throughout time. Talk about nostalgia. I loved every second there. They also have a great food court, as well as a Bill Gray’s, a gift shop (don’t bother shopping there as it’s way pricey), and a carousel.

    Seabreeze Amusement Park – The park is an amusement park and water park. It hosts the oldest running roller coaster in the US, the Jack Rabbit. It was cool to ride it. The park isn’t huge, but we were there from 11-6:30 anyway. It was almost too chilly for the water park, but we managed. Maybe try going on a hotter, or at least sunny day. We went on a cloudy day – hint, even if it’s super cloudy, wear sunscreen. The price was pretty affordable – get your tickets online for a discount.

    Ontario Beach Park – This was not like beaches we usually swim at because it was a lake rather than an ocean, but  I loved it because the water was calm, the sand was soft, the only things we saw in the water were algae and rocks, and it doesn’t get deep quickly. It was great for all my kids. The water was a little chilly, but we got used to it. The bathrooms were gross and there was lots of bad language and some making out seen, but overall, we loved being there. Sometimes they do outdoor concerts. They also have a huge pier you can walk on, a carousel, and a playground. It’s free to park and swim. They also have lifeguards on site.

    Must-Visit Restaurants:

    Palmyra – Chill and Grill – This is a small restaurant with hamburgers, hot dogs, junk plates, and lots of awesome ice cream flavors. It was pricey, but really good. In case you didn’t know (I didn’t), NY has something called a garbage plate, or junk plate, or great plate. It usually includes a layer of baked beans and mac (macaroni) salad on the bottom, and is topped with two cheeseburgers, hamburgers, or hot dogs (or a combination of any). It also has lots of toppings and condiments. You can customize to your liking. It sounds gross, but I loved it. One junk plate here fed my husband and I very well. This restaurant is very close to the Grandin Building, Pal-Mac County Park, and the Palmyra County Library.

    Rochester – Bill Gray’s – This restaurant is right behind Seabreeze, so is a perfect place to eat dinner after you leave. It was delicious! They have a large menu, and also a kids’ menu. I got my second junk plate here (they call it a great plate). They also had Abbott’s Frozen Custard, which was so silky, creamy, and downright fabulous! We all left with full, happy bellies!

    Gift Shop Ideas:

    Palmyra – Latter-Day Harvest – We didn’t get a chance to go in because their hours were limited, but it is right by the Grandin building and sells wonderful gifts and things to help you remember the spiritual history of Palmyra. They also have a website – oldnauvoo.com.

    Rochester – Simply New York Marketplace & Gifts – This store was very clean and well-organized. The lady working was super friendly and patient with my kids. The store has tons of things made in NY, and everything is made in the USA. Some things are pricey and other things are more affordable. It’s a great place to shop if you want to bring a little bit of NY home with you. It’s right down the road from Seabreeze.

    Places we considered going but didn’t go to, but are still awesome:

    Niagara Falls – We didn’t go because we don’t have passports and the Canada side is much better. Also, we wanted to stay close to where we stayed. Finally, it didn’t seem to be a good activity for our toddler.

    Watkins Glen Park – It looked so lovely, but we didn’t go because we felt the hike would be too hard for our toddler, and it wasn’t really close enough to go to, or on our way to anything else.

    Genesee Country Village & Museum –It looked really fun and interesting, but it was pricey, was a little out of the way of where we were, and we were already doing a ton of history stuff. My kids weren’t super interested.

    George Eastman Museum – This looked like a really interesting and lovely museum, but it didn’t seem very kid-friendly, at least not for littles.

    Rochester Museum and Science Center – Due to time, it was either go to this or the Strong Museum of Play, and the Strong Museum looked way cooler to us.

    Chimney Bluffs State Park – This looked like an amazing landscape, but the kids weren’t super interested.

    Pittsford Farms Dairy – It looked like a fabulous ice cream place, but since we found Abbott’s, we didn’t feel we needed to go. We also didn’t do anything else in Pittsford.

    Six Flags Darien Lake – Of course this would be a fabulous park, but we almost felt it would be too big, and thus too hard, to keep up with all of our kids there. It was also out of the way and pricey.

    Roseland Water Park – We had to decide between this and Seabreeze. Because some of us really preferred roller coasters and non-water rides, we chose Seabreeze. Roseland would be better on a hot, sunny day when all you want to do is water rides.

    Historic Palmyra – These are five museums showing Palmyra history. Because we were already going to so many historical sites, we decided not to go. The price is really good, though!

    Nick Tahou Hots – This is the home of the garbage plate. We didn’t go, though, because the reviews weren’t super good, and we were able to get the same thing at other restaurants. 

    Wegmans – Apparently this is the best grocery store ever. We passed one but never had time to go in one. We did see a play one at the Strong Museum, though!

    Dinosaur Barbeque – This restaurant came highly recommended. It looks fabulous for people who love barbeque, ribs, wings etc. It didn’t look so appetizing for the kids, and was pretty expensive, though. 

    There is so much to do in this area, and that’s not even most of it – these are just the places I was most interested in! There is something for everyone. 

     

    As you can see, this was a full trip. We came home better people with stronger testimonies of Christ. We will truly miss upstate New York. It changed us and filled our hearts with joy!

  • Challenges That Have Changed My Life, That Can Change Yours Too!

    I adore our dear prophet, President Russell M. Nelson. Since he has become president of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, he has brought so much inspired counsel to the members of the church and the world.

    This past October, in the Women’s session of General Conference, President Nelson gave a very poignant and beautiful talk called Sisters’ Participation in the Gathering of Israel. 

    As I listened to his talk, I could feel his tender love for we sisters, and for womanhood and motherhood. He gave each girl and woman four challenges to accomplish. I was so grateful he gave specific challenges with deadlines as he saw fit, because it helped me to be motivated to take real action, and not just think about how to be a better and more spiritual woman.

    I would love to share his invitations in his own words, and my experiences with them, in hopes that you will also wish to take the challenges:

    First, I invite you to participate in a 10-day fast from social media and from any other media that bring negative and impure thoughts to your mind. Pray to know which influences to remove during your fast. The effect of your 10-day fast may surprise you. What do you notice after taking a break from perspectives of the world that have been wounding your spirit? Is there a change in where you now want to spend your time and energy? Have any of your priorities shifted—even just a little? I urge you to record and follow through with each impression.

    President Nelson made the challenge October 6, and I faithfully began my fast from Instagram and Facebook starting the 7th. I did not browse through, comment, or post anything during that time. I did have to use social media occasionally for my store (like answering customer questions), but that was all I did.

    On October 17, when I was done with my fast, I said on Facebook:

    Well, I am off my social media fast. I must say the last 10 days have been great. I have loved not having the temptation to keep checking my Facebook feed constantly, burning up precious time. I have significantly cleaned up my friend list, and will keep the app off my phone. I will be using FB primarily for adding photos of my kids and for doing business. I just want to stop spending time mindlessly scrolling, as I have found that was not helping my life in any way. I may not see everything important on Facebook posts now, so if there is something you really think I need to know, please tell me in person, or via text or messenger. I don’t want to miss it. Much love!

    It’s January 4, now. How have I been doing, you ask? Well, I must admit that even though for a while I did a lot better, I started to do the mindless scrolling again. I had added the app back on my phone so I could upload pictures, and then it all started going back to the way it was. I noticed that a few days ago, and yesterday, I deleted the app off my phone again. I will try to find another simple way to upload my photos, because I miss the freedom I felt when Facebook was no longer on my phone.

    Second, I invite you to read the Book of Mormon between now and the end of the year. As impossible as that may seem with all you are trying to manage in your life, if you will accept this invitation with full purpose of heart, the Lord will help you find a way to achieve it. And, as you prayerfully study, I promise that the heavens will open for you. The Lord will bless you with increased inspiration and revelation.

    As you read, I would encourage you to mark each verse that speaks of or refers to the Savior. Then, be intentional about talking of Christ, rejoicing in Christ, and preaching of Christ with your families and friends. You and they will be drawn closer to the Savior through this process. And changes, even miracles, will begin to happen.

    This invitation from President Nelson was my favorite. For years, I have read scriptures with my children every night, and with my husband every night, but I haven’t done regular individual study for a long time. This challenge got me to start delving into the scriptures by myself again.

    I started off great, going off a reading chart a friend sent, but found myself skipping days and having to catch up frantically. I did end up finishing The Book of Mormon on December 31, and I am so grateful I was able to complete the prophet’s challenge.

    As I read, I did as he suggested – underlining scriptures about Christ. I realized very quickly that The Book of Mormon is FULL of scriptures about Christ. He is interwoven into the entire book, and it increased my testimony of the truthfulness of it. I felt the Spirit so many times as I read The Book of Mormon, and by reading it quickly, I was able to get the connections between stories better, and get the full message of what a prophet was trying to teach. I felt like I underlined or starred half of the verses I read!

    When I got to the war chapters in Alma, I was motivated to start working on my children’s book again. I was able to take lots of notes and start organizing my thoughts again. I hope to finish my book in the next few months.

    The best part of my whole reading experience was on December 31. I hadn’t read my final reading yet, which was the book of Moroni. I was feeling really down about my store. It hadn’t been making much money since the Fall and I was about ready to just give up (I had told Jad previously that I was going to stop working on it if I wasn’t making money by the new year). I decided to give that thought a rest, since it was depressing, and start reading the book of Moroni.

    I immediately felt the Spirit so strongly the minute I started reading. I loved the book, and read it with eagerness, underlining and starring so many verses. When I read the last verse, I felt so much peace and warmth. I decided to kneel down by my bed and pray so I could do Moroni’s challenge to ask if The Book of Mormon were true.

    When I knelt to pray, I felt the Spirit so strongly, I didn’t even have to ask if it were true. I remember expressing gratitude for The Book of Mormon, and I felt the Spirit lead me to ask God how I can spread Christ’s gospel of love and peace to the world – messages that are so evident and clear in The Book of Mormon (I didn’t realize at the time, but that was part of President Nelson’s challenge too).

    I felt the Spirit tell me I need to spread His message through my store. I didn’t know how at that moment, but I knew that it was something I needed to do, and that I shouldn’t give up on it.

    I have since added links to mormon.org and The Book of Mormon to my store. I have started a Christian Collection that I am still adding to. I started an advertisement for a Christian t-shirt, and added a scripture verse from the Bible and Book of Mormon to the product description so I can share the gospel in a small and simple way. I significantly lowered the price for my inspirational jewelry, and all that is just the beginning. I am going to continue to ponder ways to spread the gospel through my store, as I know that this is what the Lord wants me to do.

    These are not the only blessings that have come into my life from reading The Book of Mormon with this challenge. I also believe with all of my heart that because my mother, my nana, and I did this challenge faithfully, that it helped my sister-in-law open her heart to investigating the gospel of Christ. The past few weeks of meeting with the missionaries with her and answering her questions has brought so much joy into my life and into the life of my family. We are so overjoyed that she has chosen to be baptized on January 26!

    I want everyone reading to know that I know The Book of Mormon is true. I have always known it, but by doing this challenge, I have grown to love it even more than I ever have. This book is holy scripture, and will bring you to Christ. That is its purpose – to bring souls to Christ and to testify that He lives, and that through Him we can be saved. I hope you will read it and cherish it as I, and millions around the world, already do.

    Third, establish a pattern of regular temple attendance. This may require a little more sacrifice in your life. More regular time in the temple will allow the Lord to teach you how to draw upon His priesthood power with which you have been endowed in His temple. For those of you who don’t live near a temple, I invite you to study prayerfully about temples in the scriptures and in the words of living prophets. Seek to know more, to understand more, to feel more about temples than you ever have before.

    Our temple is closed for renovation, so the closest temple to us right now is three hours away in South Carolina. However, I have had two beautiful experiences in the temple since President Nelson’s challenge. First was in October, when we went down with another family and took turns attending the temple. Jad and I did a sealing session, and there were so many names submitted, that the sealer kept going an extra half hour over the time. It was a wonderful occasion.

    The second time I went was in November when I went with sisters from our Relief Society. I was able to be there with my mom and nana, as well as other lovely women from my ward (congregation). We had a wonderful time. It was so peaceful to be able to take a day to devote to spiritual nourishment and relationship-building.

    Our schedules are very crazy the next few months, but I greatly hope to be able to go back to the temple soon, as it is the place I feel the most peace. I also want to help my sister-in-law with her family history after she is baptized so she can start doing temple work for her family.

    My fourth invitation, for you who are of age, is to participate fully in Relief Society. I urge you to study the current Relief Society purpose statement. It is inspiring. It may guide you in developing your own purpose statement for your own life. I also entreat you to savor the truths in the Relief Society declaration published almost 20 years ago.

    I read the Relief Society purpose and the declaration as the prophet challenged. By reading it, I know who I am, what my purpose is, and how I can best fulfill my potential as a daughter of God. Life isn’t all about me and my desires – there is so much more to it, including unity with, and love for, my fellow sisters in Christ. What a privilege it is to be a part of this wonderful organization of women, and how important it is to participate in it fully!

    There was a recent time when it was very difficult for me to attend Relief Society. I felt judged and that nobody liked me. I have since decided to move on from that, recognizing that God wants me there. I do my best to share my experiences and testimony, and to listen to other women and their experiences so I can learn from them. I try to go to Relief Society activities, volunteer to help others as asked by the Relief Society president, be a friend to the women I come in contact with, and minister to my sisters the best way I can. I know I can do more still, but being a devoted member of the Relief Society is very important to me.

    As you can see, doing President Nelson’s challenges meant a great deal to me, and helped me a lot spiritually, and in other ways. My testimony has been so strengthened that he is a true prophet of God, that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is Christ’s church, that The Book of Mormon is true, that the work done in the temple is crucial for our exaltation, and that I am so blessed to be a part of the largest women’s organization in the world – the Relief Society. Most importantly, I have an increased testimony of my Savior, Jesus Christ.

    I am so grateful that because of Christ, our lives are full of merciful beginnings. I can keep getting better. I can pick myself up when I fall. I can get myself back on the path when I stray. We all can, and I invite you to come unto Him. He will help you be the person you know you can be. Take these challenges and see for yourself!

  • Savior, May I Love My Brother (And Sister)

    Sometimes we hurt. We have feelings of loneliness, frustration, confusion, embarrassment, defeat, or ostracism, all wrapped up in a bow of harsh judgments.

    It is heart-wrenching, and it leads to headaches, depression, and lots of crying.

    Sometimes the tears are from those who have been wronged, and sometimes the tears are from those who were judged harshly of doing wrong when they meant no harm.

    I have found more and more that Satan doesn’t just prey on us, tempting us to sin. No, quite often, he feeds on our emotional weaknesses, tempting us to be overly offended, unforgiving, critical, and on the other side, so downtrodden and defeated that we can’t shine our light anymore.

    The latter strategy of Satan is growing in intensity, and it is so sly and brilliant of him, seeing as how the two greatest commandments are about love – loving God, and loving each other, including ourselves:

    Mark 12:30-31: And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment.

    And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.

    Without love, there cannot be peace. Christ is the Prince of Peace. Satan wants to destroy our peace, and he is doing a good job of it, isn’t he?

    One of my favorite hymns at church is Lord, I Would Follow Thee.

    1. Savior, may I learn to love thee,

    Walk the path that thou hast shown,

    Pause to help and lift another,

    Finding strength beyond my own.

    Savior, may I learn to love thee–

    Lord, I would follow thee. 

    2. Who am I to judge another

    When I walk imperfectly?

    In the quiet heart is hidden

    Sorrow that the eye can’t see.

    Who am I to judge another?

    Lord, I would follow thee.

    3. I would be my brother’s keeper;

    I would learn the healer’s art.

    To the wounded and the weary

    I would show a gentle heart.

    I would be my brother’s keeper–

    Lord, I would follow thee.

    4. Savior, may I love my brother

    As I know thou lovest me,

    Find in thee my strength, my beacon,

    For thy servant I would be.

    Savior, may I love my brother–

    Lord, I would follow thee.

    This song is all about loving and serving our fellow brothers and sisters, and thus loving, following and serving our Lord.

    This song always brings the Spirit into my heart. It is Truth. This is how we need to be to be like Him.

    There is a reason why the Lord loves the little children so much, why He taught us to be like them. It is because they love unconditionally. That love doesn’t change when you make a mistake or when you hurt their feelings. That love is strong and constant, and they are always discerning of how you feel, wanting to make you feel better. They hug and kiss with such tenderness that you are certain that they love you – you never have to second guess. They also want to make things right when they hurt you – they don’t blame you for their wrongdoings. They genuinely want you to be pleased with them, and so they apologize and try to be better.

    We all need to be like that. It is really hard, though, because our natural selves want to be right, want justice, want others to be hurt the way we have been hurt, and don’t like apologizing or finding out truth beyond our own perspectives.

    I know this can be overcome. This is the best way to become like Christ. This is how we attain true charity for one another.

    I have a long way to go to reach this too. I certainly am not perfect. But, I do try very hard to forgive and not hold grudges, even when it would be so easy and seemingly justified to do so.  For me, the way to get through these hurts has always been to try to see them as God sees them, and as they could be, not what a snapshot of their life has shown me.

    Back to me not being perfect. It has come to my attention that recently I offended some people by something I said in church. It breaks my heart to know that, and I am genuinely and deeply sorry. I can say with full sincerity that no offense or criticism was meant. It was just me following advice that though it worked well for some audiences, apparently did not work well for the one I was in. It was an ignorant misjudgment, but there was no ill intent. Again, I am sorry, and I would be more than happy to discuss it with anyone who was offended. I can promise you that your perceptions of that one moment are not who I am. I would give anything to take that moment back, but since I can’t, I want to make it right going forward. Please allow me that second chance. I would be so grateful to you.

    There are always two or more sides to a story, and the side of the person deemed as the offender often goes overlooked. Talking directly to the person who hurt you can help so much. The worst that can happen is that  that person doesn’t apologize or take responsibility, but the best that can happen is that wounds can be healed and friendships mended and strengthened. Since most of us are trying to live good lives and be good people, my hope would be that the best would happen more often than the worst.

    I have so much love in my heart for God and for my fellow brothers and sisters. I am a very tender-hearted person though, so my hurts run very deep, sending me sometimes into a depression. It takes me time to process and heal, and realize that I can rise above and be the person God knows I am. I am not my mistakes, whether they are intentional or unintentional. I am not unloved, though I may feel that way. Even if nobody else in the whole world loved me, my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ always will. The Holy Spirit loves me too – He is the one who brings that beautiful reminder to my heart.

    If you are like me and are feeling hurt, for whatever reason, I know that love is the answer. Love can be found in the teachings of Jesus Christ. Satan wants to win – he wants to steal your joy. Don’t let him. And don’t let him tell you that others are unworthy of your love either – everybody on this earth is worthy of love, even the most difficult and unkind people of all.

    My heart reaches out in love and pleading to any I have hurt. Please forgive me. I love you and I know God loves you. I know that we can make it through and find goodness in each other.

    Let us be slow to judge and quick to forgive. Let us truly be our brother’s and sister’s keeper. It will change our lives and the world.

  • A Trip Just for Me

    My husband and I started an ecommerce business called PB and Apple Jelly a little over four months ago. It has been a ton of hard work with successes here and failures there, with a lot of learning and frustration in between.

    A little over a month ago, Fred Lam, the 29-year-old multi-millionaire entrepreneur who created the system we use to operate our store, announced that he would be choosing up to 25 people to come to an elite training in February to really scale up their businesses. It sounded great, and Jad and I thought it would be a good idea to fill out the application just in case. But, there were a lot of issues with the sign-up page, and we thought our opportunity was gone. Over a hundred people had already signed up before us, after all.

    But the page was fixed the next day and we were able to fill out the application and sign up for a phone interview. Long story short, the phone interview went very well, and the elite member I interviewed with said he was very impressed with our story and our store and wanted us to have the opportunity to go to this workshop. It would come with a cost, though. It was a BIG cost.

    I talked to Jad about it, and with thought, prayer, and reflection on what it really takes to make a business grow, we decided to go for it. There were preparations to be done. As the day drew upon us for me to leave the kids, it was really hard for me. I was afraid to drive to Maryland by myself, and I was worried about how Eve would do since I had never left her. I left my family on the morning of January 31 with many kisses and hugs, and got in the car to go to this Elite workshop.

    My day ended up being so wonderful. Here is my account:

    Today has been quite a day! I said goodbye to my babies and husband this morning so I could drive up to Maryland to do a four-day elite training workshop to help me scale up my little store. I hated saying goodbye to them, and I was very nervous about driving by myself up there, but Jad gave me a blessing and I found myself calm and at peace as I made the 4.5 hour trek.

    I decided to go to the Washington DC Temple before I headed to my hotel. I first spent some time in the beautiful visitors center where I got to watch two very spirit-filled videos about Oliver Cowdery and David Whitmer. Their stories are full of miracles and they truly had great missions to fulfill in the restoration of the gospel of Christ.

     

    Then I went to the temple. I was last there at my cousin’s wedding, but hadn’t done an endowment session there since I did my own in 2003. It was a very different experience being in such a huge temple, but everyone was so helpful. The beauty and spirit in the House of the Lord is unparalleled. I felt the presence of the Holy Ghost more strongly today than I have felt in a long time. I turned to a passage of scripture after my session that brought clarity to me, and gratitude. I didn’t want to leave the temple.

    I could have stayed there forever, but it was getting dark and I had to get to my hotel. Driving to Gaithersburg from Kensington was very scary. There was major traffic, blinding lights, and unfamiliar roads. I sang hymns all the way to the hotel and prayed in my heart that I would be safe. I was, and I am so grateful.

    I took a walk alone by the lake and shopping mall behind the hotel after checking in. It felt lonely, but I was able to reflect on my many blessings. I miss my family, but I know that this trip will be for my and my family’s good. I thank my Heavenly Father for His hand in my life.

    Here is the scripture I read in the temple:

    Mosiah 3:19 from the Book of Mormon: For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.

    The part that stood out to me the most was ‘willing to submit to all the things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him…’

    The clarity came that I need to always submit to the Lord’s will, and accept and find peace in the trials that come my way instead of fighting them and being frustrated or impatient or downtrodden. If I am living righteously, then I must trust that all things that come my way, joyful or sorrowful, are for my benefit.

    It’s pretty cool to me that the hotel chosen for this training was a Marriott, and every Marriott hotel has a Bible and Book of Mormon in the bedside table drawer.

    I went to bed that night nervous about the next day, but filled with joy and peace. I made sure I made it to breakfast right at 8. There weren’t that many people there, but those that were already there told me about the assigned seats. I found my name tag, a notebook, and a white journal. I introduced myself to those there already, and we all admitted we were nervous and didn’t know what to expect. Breakfast was delicious. Finally, right before 9, Fred Lam came in. It was amazing to see him. He was a short man, but I knew how powerful he was.

    At the beginning of the day, after breakfast, an elite member named Jedi, got up and asked us to write down what was holding us back from being successful in our businesses. He told us to write in great detail and then rip it out of our books. Then he asked us to follow him outside. He had a bowl and asked us to put our papers in the bowl. He set the papers on fire. The ashes flew all around him and us, and then blew away with the wind.

    That exercise immediately helped us all calm down, find a way to connect with each other, and have the mindset that we can accomplish anything. Nothing can hold us back if we don’t let it.

    That first day was full of tons of hard work, and though we were supposed to be done by 5, most of us didn’t leave until almost 6. We were exhausted and overwhelmed.

    I was hungry and decided to get some dinner. I walked all around the huge strip mall behind our hotel, and found a diner. The food was delicious, but I knew I had to get back to work. So much for having relaxing evenings. Oh well.

    I won’t tell you about every single detail about every day because I know you don’t care. But, there are a few things I want to share that mean so much to me.

    I can’t remember exactly what day it was, but we were asked to write down our “perfect day,” a day that would exist when our businesses are thriving and money is no longer an issue. I surprised myself as I reflected and wrote. My perfect day looked very much like any other day. The difference was that Jad was with us, that we could do what we wished together without worrying about money, and that we could serve others around us, thinking first about their joy, and not about the financial burden. The end of my perfect day was Jad and I planning our family trip to Jordan. It amazed me just how much that means to me, to visit my husband’s homeland and have my children learn and appreciate the culture and history. That was my perfect day – not fancy vacations or going to the spa or shopping all day  – it was having a full, joyous day with the people I love most.

    Each day we had different motivational moments to help us get into different mindsets and know what is really most important to us. These moments were the smallest moments, but some of the sweetest.

    One day, we were shown an image with words starting at the bottom and going up. It read like this:

    Light=Reality

    Gravity

    Thought

    Feeling

    Acceptance

    I Am

    “I Am” refers to what I want for myself. The “Acceptance” is  knowing this can happen. The “Feeling” part is related directly to the “Thoughts.” If we think back to times where we had joy and prosperity, our thoughts will be positive and will weigh upon us so much that it can become our reality.

    This exercise, and others like it, were not religious in nature at all. In fact, most of our visuals and videos were incredibly scientific in nature, but each and every time, I thought of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. With this visual, I thought about the fact that “I am a daughter of God.” As I accept this, I know that with God nothing is impossible for me. When I thought of my most joyous moments, my thoughts went to the day my husband and I were sealed in the temple, and I thought about the day each of my babies were born. I felt the Spirit so strongly so often during my trip.

    On another day, we had to write why we really want to be successful in our E-Commerce business. Once we wrote that, we had to keep asking ourselves why the previous statement was important until we drilled down to the heart of our “why.”  This exercise was so important to me and to others in the group. As many of us shared, I got teary-eyed. We came from so many different backgrounds and experiences, but our final “whys” were so similar most of the time. We aren’t doing our businesses because of money, cars, or big houses. Most of us deep down want to help others or spend more time with who matters most.

    Here are my “whys:”

    1. We needed more money. It was my husband’s idea after great research. He prayed about it and felt good about it. I wasn’t on board at first, but because I trusted him, I prayed about it too. I felt good about it as well, so we started. I put so much work into it, I wanted to succeed.
    2. The previous statement is important to me because I have faith in answers to prayer and because I love my husband and family. I also do not like to fail.
    3. I believe in God and that He loves me and my family and wants us to be happy. I believe I was given talents and skills for a reason.
    4. God gives me purpose to my life and I know He has a plan for me.
    5. If He has a plan for me, then He will tell me what it is and I will need to follow it.
    6. God has already given me answers in my life because of how I have already been blessed and have been able to bless others.
    7. I am kind, compassionate, hard-working and service-oriented, and through this endeavor, I can bless more lives through my store, and through the funds we get, we can help the poor and needy by helping them find success and joy in their lives. I want my children to be involved in blessing others so they can be the best they can be.

    None of this is about the money. It is about fulfilling my mission on this earth. It is about being like Christ and bearing one another’s burdens.

    Jedi, our motivational speaker each day, presented to us a “power move” that he does when he gets an order. He asked us to do his with him, and it felt great. The next day, the last day, he asked us to come up and do ours. I never went up because if I were to do one, it would be very different than what he was looking for. I told a colleague later that night that if I were to do a power move, it would be me looking up and thanking my Heavenly Father for this blessing. I get my power from Him.

    This trip did so much for me. I needed it, and God knew that. I was able to:

    • Remember good points of my childhood as I passed Kings Dominion, Potomac Mills, and see the temple.
    • I was able to have a wonderful time visiting my brother, Aaron, on Saturday. We had dinner, saw The Greatest Showman, and talked. We laughed a ton, and also had many poignant conversations.

    •  I was able to really miss my family. It made me love them more.
    • I had time alone to focus and to reflect on my life. I didn’t do much vegging like I thought I would, but then, that wasn’t what I needed.
    • I was able to learn from the best of the best. Fred Lam was very down-to-earth, and so easy to talk to. He answered all my questions, was very encouraging and patient, and celebrated each person’s victories as they happened. I never expected him to call me a “Ninja,” compliment my store and my children, or give me a big hug the last night.

    • I saw goodness in myself as I always acknowledged everyone with a “Good morning” and a smile. I talked to and complimented the food staff and other staff as much as I could, always being grateful. I was very aware of that gift in myself, and I am so grateful for it. The smiles from everyone meant so much to me.

    • I made new friends and had so many valuable conversations. Sometimes it was just about the job – helping people with their ads, etc. But I also got to encourage others, talk about parenting, memories, and most importantly, Heavenly Father. I had so many opportunities to talk about faith with other people, and I absolutely loved the experience.
    • I felt the presence of the Holy Ghost so abundantly when I was gone. I read my scriptures twice a day and prayed more. I am sure that helped me a lot. And when we did meditation exercises, I was just filled with light. It permeated through my body as I thought about my family, my blessings, and about my loving Heavenly Father, and my Savior, Jesus Christ.

    Saying goodbye to everyone Sunday night before retiring to my room was so hard. I had met some absolutely wonderful people from all around the world, such as Australia, Dubai, Canada, Africa, and more. At my table all week were Scott, Relfe and Ricardo. I had some great heart-to-heart conversations all week with them. I also had some lovely conversations with others (like Julie, Michael, Sanja) about God, about parenting, how to find joy in your life, and more. I feel so incredibly blessed to have met all of these people. Many people came up to me, even those I hadn’t really talked to much, saying how much I inspired them and how my story, enthusiasm, and success bring them hope. It touches my heart so deeply to think that my actions and words could really affect others so much.

    Yesterday morning, I got up very early and left the hotel a little after 6AM. The parking lot was very icy and it was incredibly cold outside. It was nerve-wracking to leave in the dark in these conditions. But, I said a heart-felt prayer. For a long time while I was driving in the dark through the huge cities, I kept singing one song over and over. It has always been a favorite, but now it is my absolute favorite and has brought me so much peace. It is called A Child’s Prayer and goes like this:

    1. Heavenly Father, are you really there? And do you hear and answer every child’s prayer?

    Some say that Heaven is far away, but I feel it close around me as I pray.

    Heavenly Father, I remember now, something that Jesus told disciples long ago:

    ‘Suffer the children to come to me.’ Father, in prayer I’m coming now to thee.

     2. Pray. He is there. Speak. He is listening.

    You are his child. His love now surrounds you.

    He hears your prayer. He loves the children.

    Of such is the kingdom – the kingdom of Heav’n.

    This song may be written for children, but it applies to us all. I know without a shadow of a doubt that Heavenly Father is really there. I know he answers my prayers. I truly felt Heaven all around me on my trip. His love filled my heart and soul, and permeated from my body. I felt God’s love for me and for His children. He helped me truly love others that I just met, and helped me have an even greater eternal love for my husband and children.

    I think they felt it too, as we had a very sweet am emotional reuniting.

    This trip was for business. Its purpose was to help me become more successful in my store. It already has, and will continue to as I apply the new knowledge and resources I have. But, what is more important to me is how it has changed my heart and changed my life for the better. I pray I always remember this experience.