Jad and I were very worried about Rigel Tuesday morning. He had a lot of swelling, discoloration, and pain on a sensitive part of his body. We strongly felt that we needed to take him to the doctor.
When we got there, I was unpleasantly surprised to find that I had to pay $100 for the visit, since our coinsurance didn’t kick in until after the deductible was met. That wasn’t fun, but I paid it knowing that my son would receive a sound diagnosis and treatment for his condition.
We love our pediatrician. She examined Rigel gently yet thoroughly, and surprisingly to me, didn’t see any cause for concern. She said most likely the cause was a bug bite, and that with some Benadryl, he would be fine.
I left the office with my little boys, suckers and stickers in hand. When I sat in the car after buckling them in, I sighed in distaste.
It was time to call Jad, who I knew was worried sick. Well, wait until he hears what a waste of time that was, I thought to myself.
Exasperated, I told him how much money I had to spend, and that there was nothing wrong with Rigel. All he needed was Benadryl. I sighed, and said I would be getting him his medicine. We got off the phone both annoyed at our new insurance.
The whole rest of the day, I found myself doubting the doctor. It must be something else – I mean, his condition just isn’t normal.
But, it hit me that night that my attitude had been all wrong. It was almost as if I wanted something to be wrong with Rigel to justify the doctor’s trip and the large bill. I had been feeling that my time and money wasn’t worth it because he was actually fine.
I am ashamed at how I acted! I should have been praising God that there was nothing to be worried about! Had the swelling been for a more serious reason, he likely would have needed surgery.
I should have been thanking people who prayed for him, and thanking my Heavenly Father for hearing my own prayers.
I should have hugged and kissed my child, and told him how much I loved him, and how happy I was that he was going to be alright.
My pride got the better of me that day, and someone didn’t want me to see the Lord’s hand, be grateful, or focus on what matters most.
Rigel is all better now. The swelling did go down with one dose of Benadryl.
Just as the doctor knows what medicines heal us physically, Heavenly Father knows what will heal us spiritually. He healed my hardened heart through the whisperings of the Spirit. I am eternally grateful for my renewed perspective, and for the safety and health of my precious Rigel.
Comments
9 responses to “Murmurings and Medicine”
Glad he’s doing better and the problem was so easily solved! Your story made me think of Pres. Uchdorf’s talk about about being grateful in all our circumstances. My favorite quote from his talk- “How much of life do we miss by waiting to see the rainbow before thanking God that there is rain?” Thanks for the reminder to keep things in the right perspective! 🙂
I am glad he’s ok. Poor kid. Medical issues are scary and often times we don’t react as we should. But that’s ok, a little time and perspective and we work it out!
I’ve been there before–just last week, LOL! I was sure my daughter had broken her wrist, but it turned out to only be sprained. I was annoyed instead of happy! Very good thoughts, and I’m glad Rigel was okay. 🙂
So glad to hear he is ok. I do this all the time and I definately think this was a message I needed to read today. Thanks for sharing this sweet story!
Great analogy! What a be leading it is to remember Heavenly Father is always there! Glad your kiddo is all better!
great post dear, i am happy that he is fine, and i grateful for the way you think, i can see how much you are growing spiritually. love you
I love you’re thoughts here. I have totally done that, thinking what a waist of my time and money, but yeah, how silly are we to even think that! Who wants a bad diagnosis! We don’t, but we aren’t happy when we spend all that time and money on someone telling us we are fine! I just went through this with a lump on my throat, thankfully it was nothing, but after spending hours at the dr. and having tests done, I totally had that thought. Almost like I wanted it to be something. But how weird is that! Thanks for your thoughts!
Way to notice though- that’s a super important part!
Isn’t it funny how we hope for a diagnosis to justify a doctor bill? It’s crazy, but I totally get it! I’m so glad that Rigel is okay. This is coming from someone who just spent almost $200 with two at the doctor this weekend! I get it! Love how you took that painful doctor bill and turned it into a life lesson!