My beloved Eve, you are one year old today. Mommy and Daddy couldn’t love you more. You have brought so much sunshine to our lives. You are our Sweetheart, our Princess.
Many parents call their daughters Princess. I actually vowed I would never call you that because it was so cliché and 2-dimensional. But then, as the months passed and I couldn’t come up with a name that suited you, you became Princess anyway.
It isn’t because I want you to have a beautiful voice like Ariel, or a gorgeous face like Aurora.
It isn’t because I want you to be artistic like Rapunzel or a master of the bow like Merida.
It isn’t because I want you to have magical adventures like Jasmine or find your handsome prince like Snow White.
No, this is not why I call you Princess.
Ariel was full of wonder and saw the beauty in everything.
Aurora was sweet and innocent.
Rapunzel was trusting and found joy in the journey.
Merida was completely comfortable with who she was.
Jasmine was forgiving to one who had deceived her.
Snow White was cheerful and had a strong connection with animals.
Anna had faith in her sister and didn’t give up on her.
Kiara saw the good in all lions, and wanted to unite them.
These are all wonderful qualities, but it isn’t why I call you Princess.
None of these princesses had perfect lives – they all had difficult trials to endure.
Ariel had her sea witch, and Aurora a cursed spinning wheel.
Rapunzel had a kidnapper who posed as her mother, and Merida a mother who she turned into a bear.
Jasmine nearly had to marry a wicked man, and Snow White was nearly killed by a poisoned apple.
Anna lost her parents, and almost lost her sister, and Kiara felt alone and untrusted by her father.
They all made it through their trials stronger and happier than before, but that isn’t why I call you Princess.
Most of these young princesses also had flaws, as we all do.
Ariel lacked common sense and sought help from a sea witch, and Aurora trusted and fell in love with a stranger.
Rapunzel was indecisive about being disobedient, and Merida was hot-headed enough to change her mother.
Jasmine was rude to anyone who she didn’t agree with, and Snow White was naïve and unaware.
Anna made a huge error in judgment, and Kiara snuck around.
We can learn from these princesses’ flaws, as they did, but that isn’t why I call you Princess.
Do you know why I call you princess?
It is because you are one. YOU are the daughter of a King, a Heavenly King.
His name is Heavenly Father. He is your father and mine, and the father of us all.
He knows you by name, and He loves you more than you could ever imagine.
He sent you to earth and to our family so that you can grow, learn, and choose to follow Him.
He will watch over you and send angels (earthly and heavenly) to assist you in your earthly journey.
I want you to always remember who you are. Being our daughter is something we hope you are always proud of, but more than that, we want you to truly feel that you are a spiritual young lady who has unlimited divine potential.
Your Heavenly Father has given you spiritual gifts that you can use to bless the lives of those around you. Even at your young age, we recognize some of them:
You are someone who makes people smile. Never stop doing that.
You love to share your food. Keep on sharing your abundance.
You are independent and try to be self-reliant. If you can help yourself, you can better help others.
You are funny, always making people laugh – this will help lighten heavy hearts over and over again.
You love yourself. If you can love yourself, you can love others even better.
Using these gifts, and more, with a loving heart, will bring you much happiness now and in the life to come.
My sweet daughter, Eve. You are named after our first mother. She was the first of God’s spirit daughters to come to this earth. She was the first princess. Follow her example of keeping the commandments. Just as she was chosen to live in the beginning, you have been chosen to live on earth at this time in this place for a reason.
We knew that you would be a very special little girl, and we were right. We know you have a divine mission to fulfill on this earth. Embrace it and know that your earthly and Heavenly parents will be with you through it all.
So, most of you know I have four kids now: Casey (almost 12), Rigel (6), Kamren (almost 4), and Eve (nearly 5 months).
When people see me with all of my kids, or when people talk to Jad and find out he has four kids, the question inevitably arises, “Are you done having kids?”
Sometimes the tone sounds more like, “You are done having kids, right??” Other people will just smile and say, “Well, you have your girl now, so you can be done!”
To me, this “Are you done” question is one of the hardest questions I have been asked, and continue to get asked. There is something so final if you say “Yes,” isn’t there?
I find myself debating back and forth sometimes. For those of you who have been asked similar questions, here might be some of the arguments people give you for each stance:
Be DoneDon’t BeDone
You are getting older.
Think of your past health and labor issues.
Can you even handle all the kids you have?
Kids are expensive.
Don’t you want to lose weight and stay thin?
Pregnancy is so hard on the body.
You will be really old when your last kid goes off to college.
Notice how the Not Done list is blank? That’s because people don’t usually encourage you to have more when you already have four, or a perceived other large number of kids.
Has anyone else had this experience? I mean, the reasons to be done are quite logical. The problem is, the feeling of whether or not you are done having kids isn’t necessarily logical. So, what should we do? Follow our brains or our hearts?
For me, it isn’t as much about what my brain tells me, as it is about what I feel. My husband and I feel the same way.
So, when people ask us, “Are you done?” we just say “We don’t know yet.” Really? Oh…
I wish I could say that I have had a strong feeling one way or another about it. I haven’t, and neither has my husband. We may at some point in the next couple years, but we are leaving our options open.
Would I like to be able to get past that baby phase of life? In some ways, yes. In others, no way. It would be nice to not have to change diapers anymore, and be able to have consistent sleep. It would also be nice to get rid of all the baby stuff and have all my kids in school.
But, then the other side of me is worried that this will be the last opportunity I will have to see what a new baby of ours looks like, to hold that baby in my arms for the first time, to snuggle and sing to that baby, and to teach him/her everything I know.
That is why I am leaving it up to the Lord. I have always done that. I felt very strongly, after being married to my first husband for nine months, that it was time to have a baby. I thank the Lord I listened to that prompting, else my first born had never been born. Rigel was meant to be with us, as we got pregnant with him so quickly after marriage. With Kamren, we both felt it was time to have another baby. And with Eve, I knew before Jad, and once he knew, it took nine months to get pregnant with her. In each situation of conception, it was clear what God’s will was. It was also clear in each and every delivery, that God was with us all along the way.
It is up to you, your spouse, and the Lord as to how many children you will have and when. If you have a large family, and feel pressured to stop having kids, don’t let it bother you. Perhaps that advice with help you, but if you aren’t feeling it, that is fine. Just be patient and wait on the Lord’s promptings.
I certainly have had days where I feel I couldn’t feel any more joy than I feel right now with my beautiful, precious, Eve. She is truly the sunshine of my life. Then, there are other days when my husband asks me what another child of ours would look like, and I feel that wonder arise within me.
We are taking it one day at a time. We don’t owe anybody an answer right now, and neither do you, if that is your situation. Only you and your spouse and the Lord know what is best for your family. I pray that my husband and I, and your spouse and you, make the decisions that will be most in line with God’s will, always.
For about 11 years I have wanted to name my first baby girl Raina after a beautiful 3-year-old girl I watched at my daycare job. Well, once I found out I was having a girl this pregnancy, I wasn’t so sure anymore. I wanted to make sure that Raina was the right name, so I went through hundreds of names as I usually do. Jad and I discussed them, and he didn’t like most of the names, not even the Arabic ones. I was shocked he had an opinion since he hadn’t had one with the boys. So, we kept looking and looking. We thought about Rose (or a name with Rose in it), a name with Belle/Bella in it, and more lovely names like Ariana, Ella, Ava, Adaline, and Alayna. Jad loved Rosalina, but I thought it was too long. We went back to Raina at one point and felt pretty good about it, until people at work started using it and Jad decided he didn’t like it. So, back to looking at the long list of maybes. My mom kept telling us names she liked, and one day she said she loved Evey. I liked it, but Jad wasn’t sure. Then we got a 4D ultrasound done for our baby girl on October 18.
As I looked at her pictures over and over, I knew she was someone special and needed a really lovely name. I thought of the most beautiful and important names of all time, and my mind went to the Bible. We had already said we liked Esther, but then Eve came to mind. I instantly loved it. Jad wasn’t so sure, but I couldn’t get it out of my mind. The 23rd at my mom’s house, I told her that we were strongly considering Eve. She was ecstatic. Jad still wasn’t sure, but on the way home we asked the kids if they liked the name Eve. Rigel had been wanting to call her Rose, and Casey loved Ella, but when we told them about why we wanted to name her Eve, they got really excited, and we knew she would become Eve Marie Al-Bjaly.
Let me tell you her story…
My due date for my fourth child: December 2, 2016
My actual delivery date of my fourth child: October 26, 2016 at 10:10PM.
Eve Marie Al-Bjaly was born at 34 weeks 5 days gestation at UNC Hospital via induced vaginal delivery. She was a tiny 4 pounds 14 ounces and 17 inches long.
All during my pregnancy, I had a small worry at the back of my mind that my baby girl would be born quite suddenly, just like Kamren was. His labor was around 20 minutes or so – how long would hers be?
Then there was the concern about Thanksgiving – could we have it? What if I had the baby right around then? Because of that, we decided as a family to cancel the holiday this year.
My pregnancy had been very normal the whole time, but then at my October 5 midwife appointment, I had very high blood pressure. I was told we needed to keep an eye on it, and then October 19, I had high blood pressure again. That time, I was told that I may have gestational hypertension and that I needed to go to UNC Hospital that day to get monitored. I was surprised because I have never had that problem before. I had to call Jad and ask him to leave work and get Kamren. After a quick lunch at Harris Teeter, I drove myself to UNC Hospital for the first time. I admit I was a little worried.
I thought I would be seen right away when I got to the hospital, but there were no rooms. I had to sit in the waiting room for quite some time. I was happy to have met another pregnant woman that day who I could talk to. She was there for pre-op for a c-section the next day. She was so nice, and we had a great conversation. She put me at ease. Finally, I was taken back. I honestly don’t remember much, just that I was told I do in fact have gestational hypertension and that I would be induced three weeks early. I got really no explanation of how they figured out I had that and why I had to be induced, but I just accepted it. The only silver lining to that day was I met a really nice woman named Karen who was in charge of a study for preeclamptic pregnant women – a study trying to find a blood test to figure out if a woman has preeclampsia. I got a $25 gift card before I left that day just for giving a little blood.
The following day I had to get an ultrasound at the hospital to check on the baby. She was totally healthy, which made me happy. So, I tried to prepare myself to have a baby early. Some friends told me I should question that, and I was prepared to. But then, October 25, at my appointment to plan my care leading up to the induction, my blood pressure was crazy high again.
An OBGYN came into my room, shook my hand, and basically looked at me in the eyes and told me I needed to go to Labor and Delivery right away. She didn’t clarify, and I immediately assumed I had to have an emergency induction. I cried out, “What? But she’s too tiny!”
I immediately started to cry and get really worried. She explained I would have to be monitored at the hospital, likely for 24 hours, and then a final determination would be made. I calmed down a little, and said I would need to make some phone calls and figure all this out. She told me I had to stay in the office (a monitored location) to make those arrangements, and then I needed to get to the hospital as soon as possible.
The phone call I made to Jad wasn’t easy. I told him I needed him to leave work early and take care of the kids – that I may not be coming home that day – that I may be having a baby. My voice was quiet and weak, and Jad was worried. He talked to his boss, and then left work to take over with the kids for me.
I walked slowly to the car, shaken up. Could I even get myself there? As I sat down in the drivers’ seat, I burst into tears and sobbed. I prayed and I probably hyperventilated a little. The unknown had never been scarier.
This time when I checked myself into the hospital, they had a triage room ready for me. I got into a gown, and was hooked up to the blood pressure machine. As I was lying on the bed in a moment alone, the tears started streaming down my face again. I was scared and worried about my baby girl. Just when I felt the tears would never stop, a soft but steady movement started in my tummy. My baby had woken up, and it was as if she was telling me that everything would be okay. I immediately felt that she was trying to comfort me, and that I could stop crying. I know that her moving for that long period of time was just for me. The thought occurred to me that she was acting as if she were my mother. Mothers comfort, and she was doing that for me. At that moment, her name was confirmed to me: her name really would be Eve.
I had to get back to reality as nurses came in and out. My blood pressure was taken over and over. I was in that room for hours, and had nothing to do but flip the channels. I hadn’t eaten at all since 7:30AM, and got really hungry. Jad came to see me, and I finally got food after he left again.
My blood pressure wasn’t going down, so they decided I needed to stay in the hospital overnight. I was to start a 24-hour urine collection. I would give blood a few times, and my blood pressure would continue to be taken. I would also be given a steroid shot that day and the following day to help my baby’s lungs develop should I need to deliver her. I had to start making arrangements for my kids. Jad came to me that evening and brought me an overnight bag. After a little visit, I found company with the cast of Into the Woods on the TV.
The next day, as my pee bucket got fuller, and my blood pressure stayed high, I could feel it in my heart that I wasn’t going to be sent home. What would it help to send me home? My blood pressure would still be high, and who knows what could happen? What if I developed preeclampsia?
I finally just confronted the issue with the nurses. I was up front and said I wanted to know the truth. They said they would ask for me, and they agreed with my logic. Well, not a few minutes later, an OBGYN came to speak with me to address that very thing. She basically told me that it was time for me to have a baby. She said I did in fact have preeclampsia, even though I had no other symptoms, and that it is safer for the baby to be born than remain in the womb with a placenta not doing its job.
When she said that, I felt a little nervousness, but overall peace. I asked how much time I had to make phone calls and prepare. The doctor said they would start preparing a room for me, but that I had time. I called Jad and my mom. I wasn’t surprised that Jad wanted to finish a few things at work and make sure it was okay for him to leave. I gave him the job of packing some stuff for me at home, and reassured him we had some time. My mom wanted to come right away to be with me – that is just her personality, and I love her for it.
Well, she got there, and it turned out I had to wait a long time to move up to a room, even though I packed quickly and was told it was going to be much quicker. I called Jad and told him about the delay, and he decided he wanted to clean out the van really well before he came to prepare for our baby girl.
Finally, I got to go to a room and change into a gown. When Jad got there, he brought me lots of bags, and even rolled in the stroller. That was kind of funny to me, as I knew that Eve would not be coming home right away.
I really don’t remember a lot about the details of my labor. There was no clock in the room, oddly enough, so I don’t know when I was induced or how long the labor was. I believe I was induced sometime between 2:30 and 3:30PM, but I am not sure.
Some details of note are that I was given my second steroid shot and given continuous doses of magnesium to prevent seizures. The nurse recommended I have an epidural due to my blood pressure. I didn’t contest, though I was a little sad thinking of how my plans for a natural birth were no longer possible. I asked for the epidural before my pain got bad (around 4PM), and when the team came in, I jokingly asked if it would hurt like crap, knowing full well how much it hurts. They said it wouldn’t hurt badly, and I was surprised, though quickly realized they were lying as they pushed and fiddled around inside my back over and over trying to find the right spot. It was excruciating, but it did work, thankfully.
My sister-in-law, Laura, surprised me by coming to visit me in the hospital. I was so grateful to have her, my mom, and Jad there with me. It was pleasant just talking together.
The labor was steady and there were no issues. We were a little impatient, though, as the hours went on. Finally, my mom and Laura left to go home to their families, not long before 8PM.
By that time I was 4 CM dilated and 50% effaced. When they finally broke my water, hardly anything came out, but I knew she would come soon. I wasn’t scared, but excited instead. I could hear the stark contrast between this labor and Kamren’s. With Kamren, I was screaming bloody murder: “My baby, my baby!” With this delivery, I was excitedly exclaiming, “My baby is coming! She’s coming!” I had such joy, and no fear, even though she was going to be a premature baby.
Well, she came out after a few pushes, and after Jad cut the cord, she was put on my body for a few seconds and then taken from me to be examined. I couldn’t even see her the first time because they didn’t put her up high enough.
My first picture with Eve
https://youtu.be/ES4aT2QEkoQ
Put me back in!
Once they wiped her off, I got to hold her skin to skin for a few moments. The first thing I noticed was her long, slender fingers. I loved them, and her instantly.
Our first picture as a family
I wanted to snuggle with her forever, but she had to be taken. She did start to nuzzle my neck a little, so the crew in the room said I should try to nurse her. It was so hard. She was so small, and I was afraid of hurting her. She didn’t know how to suck, but at least we tried, and I got to hold her a little longer.
And then she was gone. I couldn’t be with her for 24 hours because I would continue to have the magnesium pumped into my body. I sent Jad after her, and he got to witness her first feeding, and adore her in the NICU.
https://youtu.be/nA8RqlRlEMQ
https://youtu.be/s406plgb244
The next day for me (Oct 27) was sleeping, attempting to express (with a nurse’s help) and pump, and trying to catch up on text messages and Facebook comments from friends. It was so hard to function because of the magnesium. I would get small spurts of energy throughout the day, and then suddenly feel nearly dead with exhaustion. I looked forward all day and night to get off that magnesium so I could eat, get out of that bed, and see my baby girl.
At least Jad got to visit with her. He even did a Skype call with me so I could see Eve: I couldn’t keep from crying tears of joy looking at her and talking to her peaceful, sleeping face. Oh, I can’t wait to snuggle her again.
Most of that day was very boring, but at least I got to see my beautiful sons. They were a little weirded out that I couldn’t cuddle them or get out of bed. I felt so bad, and was worried about Kamren especially, since until a day before, he had been my baby. They were so excited to meet their sister that night, though!
They took me off the magnesium about 9PM. All my tubes were removed, and I ordered a huge meal. I have never eaten faster – it had been 33 hours since I had last eaten. Standing up and moving around wasn’t so easy. My legs were literally like limp noodles. I had to have help going to the bathroom, and getting into my wheelchair. I didn’t let that stop me from seeing my baby, though. My nurse wheeled me to the NICU to see Eve before taking me to my new room.
She was so precious. The love I felt for her was indescribable. I watched her, and then held her, cuddled her, and tried to nurse her. She couldn’t nurse, so I just snuggled her some more. I didn’t want to leave her ever again, but I had to. Up to my new room I went to rest, and regain leg strength. Once I got my legs back, nothing could stop me from going to my baby as much as possible (every three hours to be exact).
On October 28 I wrote: I got to see my sweet baby a couple times late last night, once around 11 and the next time a little after 2. Both times we snuggled and tried latching/nursing. It wasn’t easy, and we tried different things so she could still eat and also be with me, and by the end of the second time, she was already latching on me as a pacifier. She cried unless she was with me. I see that as a great sign! I got a little sleep, am much steadier on my noodle feet than last night, and have the energy to get clean, eat, and spend as much time with Eve as possible today. Gosh, she is gorgeous and precious, and so full of personality.
Most of that day Eve was really sleepy and tube fed. I knew that she couldn’t go home until she was feeding via bottle or breast all the time, so that was a little disheartening. At least she was healthy otherwise with her temperature regulation and blood sugar. And I got to do a kangaroo hold with her – so special!
It was so helpful to my spirit having family visit me and Eve in the hospital those first couple days – Jad’s uncle Hani, my Nana, my sister, my mom, Jad’s brother, Tawfeeq, and his wife Aundrea and their son, Landon…I really appreciated their love and gifts.
Oct 29 started out well as I got back to my girl: I took one break from sweet Eve in the middle of the night to sleep, but sleep was so hard for me. When I went down at 5, I found out she had been fussy off and on since about 12:30am. I felt bad that I had missed her and she had missed me. But, with that came a lovely session of stares, lots of kisses, and even some good nursing, once we figured it out together. Then, oh, sweet snuggles commenced. I love my girl!
Overall, that day was really hard on me. It was the day of my discharge. Let me explain with a post I wrote the next morning: I must admit that yesterday was a really hard day for me. I was supposed to be discharged, but found myself waiting in vain nearly all day into the late afternoon. I was all alone in the hospital without my family, and the only solace came when I was with my sweet baby. My family finally came to get me not long before dinner time. I got to hug them all quickly, and then Jad brought each kid down to see Eve for a few minutes, I got to take the boys to the snack room for ice cream and juice, and that was the most fun I had had all day, haha. Finally, it was time to get the car and take all of our stuff down to check out of the hospital. Imagine packing up your car with all kinds of baby stuff, and not being able to put the baby in the car with you. Imagine having spent all your time for five days in the hospital, not being able to think of anything but having and taking care of a baby, and then knowing that your future is uncertain. When I got in the car, and we headed to the Ronald McDonald House, I was so overwhelmed. I didn’t know what to expect – I just knew I wouldn’t be sleeping in the same place as anyone I loved. We got there quickly, though it felt like an eternity. I had to dry my tears. Well, after paperwork and a tour, I was check into my new “home.” The boys and Jad had been eating tacos and playing while waiting for me. I could tell they were all irritable and struggling with the unknown too. The kids just wanted some normalcy and fun, like they are used to. As we drove home for me to simply pack and come right back, I couldn’t stop the sobs from coming. I am glad we had tissues, because I used so many of them. My throat, by the time we got home, felt like a cat had clawed at it. I just couldn’t function. I was so overwhelmed and sad. I needed time with my husband and kids, but barely got to spend any time with them at all. I didn’t know how much to pack to take to the RMH – how long will I be there? What will happen with Eve? Will my kids and husband be okay without me? I know that Jad has been working so hard while I have been gone since last Tuesday, and my family and friends have also stepped up graciously. When I walked into the house for that little time, I noticed how clean the house was, and how much care Jad had put into getting it ready for Eve. I felt guilty that I hadn’t been able to help at all in days, and I could tell how much my family needed me. After I packed, my boys were so sweet to say they loved me and give me hugs and kisses. Casey and Jad carefully put my stuff in the car, and Jad even had a couple falafel sandwiches ready for me to eat, since I had missed dinner. A couple kisses later, and I was on my way back to Chapel Hill. My exhaustion was strong, but I made it. Bringing everything in, and unpacking took me quite some time, but calmed me. I felt love for my husband as I saw how much food he carefully packed for me. I was happy to see a Bojangles biscuit and boberry biscuit in there. It was comforting to eat those before I went up to my room, unpacked, read my scriptures, pumped, and got a little sleep. I got up quite early to pump again and get ready to see my baby. I can’t express how inadequate I feel, but at the same time, I feel like I am being blessed with drive and energy, and hope. I am filled with love for my baby girl, and I yearn for when we can all be together. I am so grateful my baby will be okay, and that we are a family of six now. Life will be normal before we know it – for now it is just really hard. I appreciate the continued love and prayers. I really do.
I was in tears when I wrote all that. The only real joy I had was in being with my precious Eve. She got a real crib on the night of the 29th, and just seeing her sweet face and holding her hand helped me get through the pain.
I realized later on the 30th what therapy I really needed as my husband came to visit: I cannot even tell you how therapeutic it was for Jad to come visit Eve and me today. We spent several hours together. It was our first time bonding we three. And I didn’t realize the sad fact Jad hadn’t held her since the night she was born. They are such a pair. She stayed awake for quite some time staring at her daddy.
(He would start coming to see Eve every day after that. Taking care of the kids and doing all the chores was hard on Jad, not to mention the cleaning and projects he was trying to do to prepare for our sweet girl to come home.)
Before I went to bed super late that night I wrote this:
Most cherished moments of today: spending time with Daddy
Funniest moment of the day: Eve pooping five incredibly smelly poops in about 30 minutes
Proudest moment of the day: this morning when my milk came in! It is going strong.
Warmest moment of the day (literally and figuratively): when Eve snuggled her head just under my neck, and lay content and wide awake. This was right after all her poops. She was really fussy until this time together.
October 31 was Halloween! I was feeling a little lonely that morning, when a lady came into the reference room I was sitting in, and asked if I was Eve’s mom. She then asked me if I had chosen a Halloween costume for her. I lit up and smiled broadly because I wished I had had a costume for her. This surprise made my day: Oh, how wonderful today is Halloween at the UNC NICU. I got a very special surprise for Eve this morning: the choice of a costume for her! I was so thrilled. Picking a costume and dressing her in it have been such a joy for me. She got her picture taken professionally and will be in a judging contest later today. 😀
My ballerina
But the day got even better because my mom and sister came to visit, and then Jad brought all the kids, picked me up, and we all went trick-or-treating together at Southern Village. It was a perfect neighborhood, and we all enjoyed being together as a family. You don’t fully appreciate your family unit until you can’t be together – at least that’s how I felt.
I went to being emotional again, though, as I missed a feeding with Eve by about 15 minutes. I didn’t make it back by 8PM because we had to drop by the RM House first for me to grab a few things and for us to eat a little bit of leftovers. Oh well, at least I got to snuggle with her!
November 1 was a good day. it started with Jad coming and bringing me roses!
Eve had a couple firsts today, like her first blow-out poop (super duper stinky one), and her first excellent nursing session. Progress is being made. Her nurse has no doubt she will fill out quickly, especially considering her mama’s amazing milk supply. 😉
Slender foot!Tiny hand!
And here were the highlights of Eve’s day on November 1:
She got to snuggle with Daddy (but not before pooping on him!)
She got to spend time with each of her brothers (Casey held her for the first time/Rigel drew her a double-sided picture).
She got her IV taken out for good
She got a sponge bath and I got to help! She smells amazing.
The flower and the “awesome”The picture was of Eve living in a house with spikes on it, surrounded by a force field so she could be safe. And I taught Rigel how to write her name.
November 2 was Eve’s one-week birthday. The morning started out wonderfully. She nursed amazingly, needing no supplemental feed. We snuggled for a long time after that.
My cousin, Lisa, came to visit me in the hospital that day, bringing me much needed newborn clothes, and we ate lunch together (which ended up being free somehow). She took lovely pictures of Eve and me.
Then Jad came to visit after Lisa went back with the kids (we were so grateful for her).
We celebrated Eve’s one-week birthday with cupcakes. Did I mention the food at UNC hospital is awesome!
I wrote down all the things about Eve as of a week old:
She loves to: Look you in your eyes Snuggle Get her head rubbed Hear your singing voice Cross her eyes and stick out her tongue Feel warm and bundled Be kissed
She hates to: Get her temperature taken Get her diaper changed Be poked at all Be woken up
A comparison of Eve to Rigel and Kamren…
On November 3, Eve was really sleepy all day. I would nurse her for 10-12 minutes, and then Snoozeville for her each time.
Isn’t she gorgeous in pink?
But there was some great news that day:
Eve is gaining weight. She is 5 pounds 1 ounce today
We are doing less and less supplemental tube feeding, which means we are getting closer to going home.
Chick-Fil-A gave me my lunch free today because I had a baby in the NICU. I felt so special.
That night was also so wonderful: Jad and the boys came to visit tonight. Rigel and Kamren held baby Eve for the first time. We also got a Rainbow Bright stuffed animal from the Ronald McDonald room at UNC. There were lots of options but I had to get that one because I loved Rainbow Bright as a little girl.
https://youtu.be/kWkymAsefGY
Late that night she was finally awake, something I had yearned for all day!- I was about to take the shuttle back, but then little girl decided to be wide awake for the first time today with very squeaky hiccups. Another hour at the NICU waiting for the next shuttle it is (12:50AM)! I can’t complain…
I had lots of promising news and events on November 4: Today has been the opposite of yesterday so far. Little Eve has been very alert, and very interested in nursing. We aren’t worrying about a feed schedule anymore, but just listening to her cues. She is doing great, and as long as she has no issues, she will be going home Sunday! She passed her hearing test, is all set up with a pediatrician, and now just has to pass a car seat test. I get to room in with her at the hospital tomorrow night. I am so excited!
Here is another update from that day: I love this card Jad made for Eve. It has been a good day. I have had time with my hubby, and time with my dear cousin, who has been so helpful this week. Eve has been so alert and adorable today, and she got her feeding tube out today too! I feel so blessed in every way, even in just the days going by quickly.
feeding tube gone!
Her first smile!
As great as that day was, it ended sadly for me as I left Eve before 9PM so I could pack up at the RMH: I left Eve tonight 2-3 hours earlier than I usually do. It was so hard to leave – so hard, I got teary-eyed. I mean, are the nurses going to snuggle her enough? But, I have to start packing up and try to get some decent sleep for the first time in a week and a half. Sleep and eat well, my little love.
I was overjoyed to get to Eve the next morning, the 5th. I can’t explain my excitement, and it was a great first meeting: This is the face of a baby girl who not only drank ridiculous amounts of milk overnight by bottle, but also just nursed strong for 35 minutes! That is like three times her average nursing time.
She also passed her car seat test last night.
And she might come home today because she is doing so well!
I left her quickly, though, to go to my baby shower. I was so excited for it. Getting out of the hospital and being around women I love was so needed. It was wonderful, from the food to the décor (mostly consisting of pictures of my precious girl) to the company to the gifts to the service project. There were tons of people there, and I was there having a fabulous time for hours. As a bonus, I got a voice mail during the shower saying that Eve could definitely come home! Yay~!
Jad picked me up with the kids to go to the hospital and get our baby girl. They went up to the Ronald McDonald floor while I got her ready to go. Ironically, it only took just a few minutes for her to get checked out, and they wanted to stay where they were because it was so fun. I had to understand the boys’ perspective, though I really just wanted to get my girl home!
I am grateful that Eve was well-taken care of at UNC Hospital. I never worried about her. She was constantly watched over by nurses and doctors, and they had her best interests in mind. I was given freedom to change her, take her temperature, help with her bath, and hold her whenever I liked. The hospital also helped make me comfortable by putting me in the Ronald McDonald House, giving me one free meal a day, providing limitless water bottles, giving me a manual breast pump, and sometimes providing a meal. It was as good of an experience as it could have been. I was thrilled to go home, but would somehow miss that special time at the hospital.
We finally got out of the hospital around 2:45 or so and ran into a lot of traffic: Even though it is a little frustrating not being able to get home as quickly as we would like, we are so blessed that our baby is healthy enough to go home.
It took forever to get to the RMH. Then I had to clean and check out, and then we had to drive home. We were so so blessed that Eve stayed asleep that whole time.
Entering my house after being gone for a week and a half felt like Heaven. We enjoyed our evening together as a family of six.
In her bassinet for the first time!
Even the night wasn’t so bad: I actually got more rest last night than I ever did when Eve was in the NICU. She woke up to eat three times, and went back to sleep. Twice she stirred a little as if to wake, but I was easily able to get her back to sleep the first time by looking at her and holding her hand, and the second time by stroking her cheek. She is so affectionate.
I won’t go through the next whole month of Eve’s life detail by detail because that would take forever, but here are some highlights and my favorite pictures of her:
Nov 6 – Our first morning at home!
Mariah got this cookie cake to celebrate her homecoming.
Nov 7 – First Dr appointment: Eve had her first pediatric doctor appointment today. Dr. Boylston said she is doing great and likely in a couple months, we won’t even be able to tell she was a preemie. We are also going to try not supplementing and see how she does! She has a weight check Thursday. Today she was up to 5 pounds 6 ounces.
Just some cute Nov 8 pics:
Eve and my dollEve and her unicorn
Nov 10 – Weight check – Eve had her weight check today. She is up three ounces in three days, which is perfect. At 5 pounds 9 ounces, this baby is healthy and needs no supplementation. Yay!
Nov 10 – First bathtub bath – she didn’t like it other than her hair being washed.
Nov 11 – The day I was supposed to be induced!
Cute pic from Nov 12 –
Cute pic from Nov 13 –
Nov 14 – Jad went back to work – can I handle it???
Spiky hair!
Nov 16 – I had just started nursing my baby. The dog came into the room licking her lips but I hadn’t fed her anything. It was quiet- too quiet. I called for my son. No answer, but the bathroom door promptly closed and locked. Was it as I feared? I unlocked the door. Yes, yes it was. It was horrible. The smell. The mess. The pleading, yet guilty look in my son’s eyes. The squished brown substance on the floor and the wall and the toilet and his legs. The torn toilet paper everywhere. I realized at that moment my dog was the most disgusting dog on earth and that the floor is my son’s new favorite place to poop. Will he ever be potty trained? Will I ever let my dog kiss any of us again?
You can’t make this stuff up. This is the life of a nursing mother…
Nov 17 – loves her hair being brushed (three weeks old!).
Nov 18 – Eve’s first walk
Nov 19 – She has grown!
Nov 20 – First time at Nana and Papa’s house!
Cute pic from Nov 21 –
Nov 23 – Excellent sleep and 4 weeks old! – This beautiful girl made her parents very happy last night. She slept from just after midnight to 6:52AM without waking up at all! This was her first night sleeping through. She just drank lots of milk and went back to sleep too!
Nov 24 – Eve’s first Thanksgiving! – My house has 21 people in it right now. I am upstairs feeding Eve, and can hear talking, playing and laughter all around. I am so grateful for snuggles with my baby, my family, good food, a cozy house, and lovely weather. I am grateful for the great land I live in, for good friends, and most of all, for a loving Father in Heaven, His beloved son, and the Holy Ghost.
Nov 25 cute pic –
Nov 26 – One month old!!! – Eve Marie Al-Bjaly was born one month ago today. She was born at 34 weeks five days gestation at 4 pounds 14 ounces and 17 inches. Today we are thrilled to say that she is 7 pounds 9.6 ounces and 19 inches. That is a whole lot of growing in a month. We are so in love with her. Her favorite thing to do is eat. She also likes her hair brushed and her feet rubbed. She loves walking around and taking in the sites. She cries like a goat, squeaks like a mouse, and purrs like a kitten. She does not like to be cold or wet. Snuggles are always appreciated. And she gets like 5000 kisses a day.
My beautiful one-month old
dancing with daddy
Nov 30 – One-month Dr appointment! – She was 7 pounds 15 ounces and 19 1/2 inches
Eve in my blessing gown and cape
Dec 2 – Her due date – today!
If it looks like there hasn’t been much excitement since Eve came home from the hospital, that’s because there hasn’t been. Eve and I have spent most of our time at home snuggling and nursing and watching Studio C. I am not going to be taking her anywhere public (except Dr appointments) until she is 2 months old, per doctor orders. Visits from friends and family have brought us much joy, however, and we have visitors often.
I must express my sincere gratitude for everyone who has been helping with my boys during this time, whether play dates or driving them to appointments. I am also so grateful for everyone who brought us meals when I was in the hospital and when we were first home. And how could I forget the kind women who donated clothes and other baby gear to me? Eve will be well-dressed and very warm for a long time.
Life has been quite hard, honestly. Even without much excitement, it is really hard to keep up with cleaning, projects, and just day-to-day responsibilities. Thus, our home is messier than we are used to, and our meals are pretty simple. But, we wouldn’t trade having four children for the world. Hopefully this phase won’t last too long.
You may wonder how the boys like their new sister. Each of them absolutely adores her. They love holding her, and kiss her and touch her so gently. I have never seen them so sweet. Eve brings such a special spirit to our home. Even Kamren, who had been the baby for so long, adjusted immediately to being a big brother. Sometimes Kamren and Rigel still need hugs, kisses, and snuggles, and we do our best to still oblige, but they understand sometimes we just have one arm instead of two now.
Our home also looks different. For several months, Jad and I worked hard to transform Kamren’s old room into Eve’s nursery. For the first time, we have pink in our home. We love her room!
We didn’t expect Eve to come so soon. We had some scary moments, some lonely ones, some overwhelmed ones, but also some faith-promoting ones. Would I have chosen for Eve to be born early and for her to be in the NICU for a week and a half? Maybe not, but I know that Heavenly Father has a plan for us. Sometimes that plan involves adversity to make us better people, and bring us closer to Him. This experience has done just that. My prayers and yours were answered. They brought me peace, and Eve her health. Not to mention that I know that Eve and I would not have the bond we have, and will always have, without that time alone together in the hospital.
I love my baby girl more than I could ever tell you. I am honored to be her mother, and I am so excited to raise a little girl to womanhood. I hope we are best friends forever.
I have spent a lot of time crying this pregnancy. Some of it has been tears of joy as I finally got pregnant after nearly a year of trying, or finding out that I was finally having a little girl after preparing myself to have a fourth boy. I wish I could say my tears were all joyful, but too many of them have not been.
During my second trimester, I was overly sensitive and everything bothered me. I found myself bursting into tears, thinking certain people in my life hated me, or didn’t love me. I still sometimes have episodes like that.
Lately, though, most of my tears, sadness, and even low self-esteem have come from being the biggest I have ever been when pregnant. I weigh so much more than I ever have, I have gained more weight than I ever have, I have been so much more swollen than I ever have, and because of that, I often feel ugly and gross. What’s ironic is that this pregnancy I have been the most physically active, and most mentally prepared to be better in my eating and exercise habits. Alas, though, regardless of how active I tried to be or how well I ate, my weight has kept piling on…and I am only 33.5 weeks.
Yep, I feel pretty sorry for myself quite often. Last week, my family did a series of day trips, and nearly every picture of me had me groaning in disbelief at how awful I looked. Ah, look at my fat neck, or fat thighs, or never-ending belly rolls. My husband didn’t like me deleting or cropping myself out of pictures, so I kept some, even if I felt I still looked bad.
Why am I saying all this? I promise it isn’t for pity. Maybe I want you to know I am self-aware that I don’t look healthy. But, mostly, (believe it or not), it is to help me focus on what matters most. I know in my head that outward beauty is insignificant. I don’t usually judge myself on my looks, and I am sure most of us don’t completely. But, something happens to us when we don’t look like we know we can or should. We are our own worst critics, and our self-criticism eats at us until we sob in despair at a moment’s notice and call ourselves names, forgetting who we really are and all we offer.
The other day, I posted a picture of myself from when I was 18 on Facebook and Instagram.
This was actually 14 years ago. Oddly, I thought my hips were too big even then.
I didn’t think anything of it really. It wasn’t a “woe is me” post, or a “look how good I used to look post”, but just a nonchalant wish of looking like that again. I was surprised at some of the comments I got:
I have those same thoughts about me! Then I look at my amazing kids, and I’m happy to trade the better body for them…
Beautiful then and now. The thing I noticed first about you when I moved into our ward is how you always have a smile on your face. You definitely glow.
Lovely, but it is good to remember there are so many more important things than our size. You are a truly beautiful person! Always!
I hadn’t posted that picture looking for comments like that, but you know what? I needed them. I needed to be reminded that beauty is not in our outward appearances alone, but most importantly, in our deeds, our words, our characters, and our hearts.
These comments reminded me of a post a friend of mine did earlier in the month. She asked:
Why is it the most beautiful women are the most insecure? If they only knew…
I responded:
Maybe they realize outer beauty isn’t lasting or most important. Maybe they don’t know what else they can offer. I wish everyone knew it was heart, character and actions that make you attractive and confident.
She agreed and sweetly said:
Exactly!! That’s one reason I find you beautiful… You’re so kind and caring!
I was so grateful for her comment. Sometimes I don’t realize that people see good attributes in me. Don’t we all feel that way sometimes – that nobody can see who we really are – that perhaps they are judging us on our outwards looks and clothing and talents alone? I wanted to make sure this friend knew she was beautiful too, and that I appreciated her:
Aw, you are sweet! As are you! You have an infectious, cheerful smile. People need to see it!
So, yes! I am a huge believer that beauty shines in our countenances. It comes from the inside out. I have always cherished this scripture:
But the Lord said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart (1 Samuel 16:7).
You know what I just realized? When I spend all this effort and energy feeling sorry for myself and how awful I look, my countenance doesn’t shine. On the contrary, it exhibits nothing but clouds, rain, and darkness. SATAN wants me to feel this way. He wants me to focus on what is “wrong” with me physically so I don’t take the time to build myself spiritually. He wants me to feel sorry for myself so that I feel like I have nothing to contribute, that people don’t want to be around me, and that I can’t be trusted in taking care of others since I clearly don’t take care of myself.
If you are reading this and feeling like I have been feeling, let’s give each other a virtual hug. Let’s think about what we love about each other. Let’s truly look on the heart – our own hearts and the hearts of those around us. Let’s encourage each other to remember our worth. Let’s help each other remember that the Lord will test us throughout our lives, and that those tests ultimately lead to cherished lessons.
The lessons I believe the Lord is trying to teach me during this trial are that:
I need to focus on the joy this pregnancy is bringing me, not the pain (physical and emotional).
I must keep a spiritual perspective on beauty and worth (mine and others) because that is what He does.
I have to hold close to those who love me most, and know they love me no matter what.
No matter what our reasons are for feeling less than beautiful, may we strive to remember that God defines beauty differently. What does your heart look like? Keep it clean and pure and strong. This is what matters to Him.
This is one of my favorite children’s hymns, and has been since I was a child in Primary at The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I can barely sing it without becoming emotional, and I certainly can’t hear a choir of children sing it without tears falling like a waterfall down my cheeks.
To me, the temple is the house of God. It is the holiest place on earth. I know this with all of my heart, and it isn’t just because someone told me so. But before I explain my feelings, perhaps you might like to learn more about LDS temples. Please watch these brief, beautiful videos below.
I could feel that there was something special about the temple when I was a little girl singing “I Love to See the Temple.” I could feel it even more when I went on a trip with fellow teenage girls and our leaders the weekend I turned 12 to the Washington, DC Temple. I got to stand in front of that magnificent structure, wearing a borrowed wedding dress, smiling at the thought of my future.
Washington, DC LDS Temple
I remember my first time entering the Washington, DC temple. I was 12, and it was my first trip with the youth to do baptisms and confirmations for the dead. I can still smell the chlorine from the font. I remember looking down at my white-socked feet, fingering my white jump suit, waiting in silence on the benches, while staring at that beautiful font filled with blue water, standing on the strong backs of 12 oxen. I remember the man in the white suit who spoke us and told us the significance of what we were going to do. I remember feeling the comforting and peaceful presence of the Holy Ghost as I went under the water over and over for those who have gone before, and again as I sat in a chair which strong hands on my wet head, blessing me with the gift of the Holy Ghost on behalf of those who had been waiting for His companionship for many years.
The DC Temple Visitors Center has always been a special place for me. As a youth, I remember opening a large book with pictures of all the operating temples. Each one was absolutely beautiful in its own way. My favorite at the time was the San Diego Temple. I still haven’t been there, but I hope to visit someday. It amazes me how there are so many more temples now than there were when I was a teenager.
San Diego LDS Temple
I spoke in church when I was 17 about the temple, and I knew as I spoke that the temple really was a holy place, and that I wanted to make my own covenants there and be sealed in the temple to a worthy husband for time and all eternity. As a youth, I was taught the important of staying morally clean, and being the type of person I needed to be to be worthy of a righteous young man to take me by the hand, and be united with me forever in the house of the Lord.
When I was 19 1/2 years old, I made personal covenants with my Heavenly Father, and the following day, I knelt across a sacred altar and covenanted to cleave to my new husband in righteousness. I felt that I was making a beautiful decision – the most important of my life. The Holy Ghost had confirmed to me that this man was the man I was to be with for eternity – to bear children with, and to grow closer to God with.
Sadly, our marriage did not last. I would have kept my commitment to him forever, helping him with his weaknesses and vices, but he did not feel the same. It was a heart-wrenching time of my life, especially being young with a baby less than a year old. But, I always kept my faith that eternal marriage was a true principle, and that I wanted that again – this time truly for eternity.
Several years later, I met that man. I knew after not much time that he was the one that I wanted to make those sacred covenants with in the temple. Due to unforseen circumstances, we were married civilly at first, rather than in the temple. It was heartbreaking for me, but I knew in one year we could be sealed. By the time that one year came upon us, we had a newborn son named Rigel. He was less than two months old when we were sealed in the Raleigh, NC Temple. I testify to you right now that I have never felt the presence of the Holy Ghost more strongly than I did the day Jad and I were sealed, and then our beautiful baby boy was brought in to be sealed to us. If I didn’t already have a testimony of eternal families, it was unbreakable that day. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that my baby was bound to me and my husband not only for this life, but for eternity.
Raleigh LDS Temple
I have continued to have many spiritual experiences in the temple since that day more than five years ago. When I made covenants in the temple on behalf of my husband’s deceased grandmother, I felt a sure and distinct prompting that she had accepted those covenants. Jad and I both felt the Spirit so strongly when we knelt across the altar and sealed his grandmother to his grandfather, who had died many years before. I have had similar experiences with both family and strangers I have done work for.
Because of my firm belief of the sacredness and importance of temple covenants, I was insistent on attending my cousin’s, Lisa’s, temple wedding to her sweetheart, Sam, in June of this year. There were obstacles in my way from attending, but I never considered for a moment staying home. I knew that this day would be the most important and happiest day of my beloved cousin’s life. I was going to be there. And I went, with my mom and nana. It was truly a blessed experience. My love for my cousin, and my new cousin-in-law increased, as well as my testimony of the divinity of the marriage and family unit.
A little over a month ago, Jad and I drove our kids to the Raleigh Temple to see it for the first time. We felt bad that was the first time we had taken them, but we were still excited. The boys really enjoyed themselves. They could tell there was something special about that building and those grounds. The flowers and grass were perfectly manicured. The feeling there was peaceful and warm. You could see the calmness in their eyes and the happiness they felt just being there walking around. It made an impression on them, and Casey mentioned how he couldn’t wait to someday enter the temple and do baptisms for the dead.
Most recently, we had the most wonderful temple family experience of all. Over Labor Day Weekend, we made the over six-hour trip to Philadelphia with the primary reason of visiting the LDS Philadelphia Temple Open House. It wasn’t something that we planned to do well in advance, but we had friends who were going, and then we heard of more and more friends going. Jad and I then started to think, “Should we go? Can we go?”
As we thought about the possibilities, and started doing research, we both felt that it would be a wonderful and spiritual experience for our family. Our children would be able to not only see a temple, but walk inside of it. It was settled. We were going.
Jad took a day off work so we could go September 2-5. I spent more hours planning our trip than I would like to admit, from getting a hotel, to researching food and attractions, to reserving a spot at the open house, to researching some more. Finally, the day came to go. We felt the blessings of the Lord that whole weekend, from leaving the house on time, encountering nearly no traffic on the way, and having a very pleasant and beautiful drive up. We also felt the Lord’s hand financially – we would not have been able to afford that trip had we not just received a large refund after refinancing our house the month before.
That first night, we attended the Philadelphia Temple Open House. I was spiritually affected by the fact that the only place that whole day that we had really seen heavy traffic was right next to the temple. It took us over 15 minutes to approach a stoplight and then turn right to park. There were people everywhere who wanted to attend this open house – people from our church and people just curious to see it.
Philadelphia LDS Temple
The temple was beautiful, and we lit up with excitement as we saw it from our car. We couldn’t wait to enter. We started out by going inside a brand new LDS chapel across the street. We were led to a classroom with a TV and sister missionaries, who introduced the temple to us. I couldn’t stop the tears from flowing as we watched the presentation that talked about the blessings that come from temples and what we do in them. I felt my testimony of temples renewed just in watching that video. Tears don’t stream down my face for no reason – I was feeling the presence of the Holy Ghost.
After the lovely video, and sincere and sweet testimonies from the missionaries, we were led to the temple. We put shoe protectors on our feet to keep the temple clean, and then we were all able to go in. I can’t begin to express to you the beauty and serenity of the temple.
You can see pictures of the Philadelphia Temple here.
Throughout the tour, we ended up climbing up four flights of gorgeous stairs. The furniture, light fixtures, and coloring was wonderful. But, there was more. As we visited rooms like the baptismal font, the bridal room, the instruction room, the sealing room, etc., we could feel peace and love everywhere. My favorite rooms were the Chapel and the Celestial Room. In the Chapel area, we sat and listened to beautiful hymns on a self-playing organ. In the Celestial Room, there was no music or speaking. The guides let us just sit and take in the atmosphere. We stared at the huge chandelier and took in the sacredness of this meditation room. There wasn’t a sound to be heard, even with children in the room.
The whole experience was unforgettable. My children were entranced. Those of you who know my children know how wild they can be, but they were completely calm and obedient in the temple. They could feel it was a special place. When we exited, I felt so blessed to have been able to bring my children to the house of the Lord for the first time.
I was also so impressed at the calming and awesome effect being in the temple had for people not of our faith. Nobody was disrespectful or visibly disturbed or confused. Every person I saw in our group, a member of my church or not, was thoughtful and completely involved in the experience. It was hard to leave the safety of the temple. I almost wanted to go back in and go through it again. I am sure many people felt that way.
After our tour, we spent quite a lot of time in the visitors center next door, and then on the roof of that building looking at the shining temple before us. Out of the whole weekend, this was the premium experience.
But our special experiences with temples weren’t over that night. Monday, the day our Philadelphia vacation ended, we visited my beloved brother in Baltimore. We loved spending a few hours with him. Then, it was time to go home. Jad and I were both surprised when my GPS took us away from I-95 and onto I-495, a different route than on the way up.
It wasn’t long before I looked up and saw a shining beacon approaching in the distance. “Jad, it’s the temple!” Our hearts were filled with indescribable excitement at the site of the Washington, DC LDS temple. I quickly checked the GPS to see how far away it was – only 4 minutes. “We have to take the kids!”
So, we did. We didn’t care that we wouldn’t get home until late. We knew that we wanted our children to see and experience this beautiful temple – the first temple I ever entered as a teenager.
We started out at the large and amazing visitors center. The kids were so happy there. At first, I was worried they would be destructive or bored, but they weren’t. We spent well over an hour there, and could have easily stayed longer.
Casey loved looking at pictures of all the temples while Kamren couldn’t stop looking at the model of the temple. I couldn’t take my eyes off of the model of the inside of the temple. I recognized the paintings and chairs, and was completely in awe.
There was a new children’s section, and Rigel didn’t want to leave. He and Kamren both absolutely loved watching videos, listening to music, and playing games. Casey enjoyed learning more about the service our church does around the world, and watching videos about the experiences of different missionaries.
We even got our family picture taken in front of a backdrop of the beautiful temple. We had a marvelous time there. But, we couldn’t stop there. We had to walk down to actually look at this perfect, gorgeous structure.
The Angel Moroni was not on the temple because he was being cleaned and repaired. That was okay. The flowers, bees, and feelings around the temple brought the very same inner peace and joy as the Philadelphia Temple.
We got in the car again to finally go home, and we all felt completely blessed to have been able to be around two glorious houses of God in one weekend. Rigel said he didn’t want to leave, and it melted my heart.
I thank my Heavenly Father for the blessings of temples. I am grateful most of all that through temple ordinances, families can be united eternally. The temple will always be a holy and revered place in my home and family. I am grateful that this past weekend, my children could start building their own testimonies of the Lord’s holy house.
Today is my husband’s, Jad Al-Bjaly’s, 34th birthday. He will probably tell you he is only 33 or 32. That is a joke that never gets old in our house, at least to him, haha.
Since it is his birthday, and since I have never done so before, I want to write a post that will honor him. I want the reader to get to know Jad from the inside out. I want my husband to know how wonderful I think he is, but most of all, I want him to know that he is wonderful. Sometimes I don’t think he realizes it, even when people tell him so.
Jad is from Amman, Jordan, so his first language is Arabic. When he came to the United States for the first time, he could barely speak any English. But, he immersed himself in it and learned little by little. He has continued to perfect his grammar since I met him in 2009. I hope everyone will think in their minds how difficult it is to learn another language. My husband has a strong accent and his spelling isn’t the best, but I admire him so much because he is bi-lingual. He knows two extremely difficult languages. It always makes me smile when he meets someone else on the phone or in person who speaks Arabic. They both seem to light up and become instant friends as they engage in the language of their birth.
My husband has one older brother, Tawfeeq. His father left his family when he was only seven, so he was mostly raised by his mother, Salma, with the help of his grandmother and aunts and uncles. His family was very poor. I am humbled every time he tells me about how often they bathed (or didn’t), how they had to conserve water, how they didn’t have air conditioning, how a huge amount of people lived in one small house with one bathroom and mattresses strewn all over the floor to sleep on. Sometimes Jad would even sleep under the stars on the balcony. I think having grown up with such hardship helped refine Jad into a self-reliant, giving, thankful, person who is determined to be a good father, husband, brother and son.
Jad loves the heat and the outdoors. Rock climbing, zip lining, running, playing soccer, camping (to name a few) are all loves of his. Unfortunately for him, I don’t like doing any of that, but he never complains. He has sons he will, and has experienced, these things with.
Most people that know Jad even a little, know he is a wonderful cook. Interestingly, though, he didn’t used to be. The first time he tried to make spaghetti, he didn’t realize he had to boil the noodles. He just had the dry noodles in a pot and kept adding sauce, hoping the noodles would cook. We always laugh at that story. To think that he learned how to cook mostly over the phone from his dear mother, Salma, is just amazing! Our family and friends simply love eating Jad’s cooking. He can whip anything up. He chops vegetables faster than anyone I know, and he knows just how to season anything from meat to pasta. He is so comfortable in the kitchen, and uses his talents to bless others’ lives. And he even cleans up his messes, which can be many. He can’t bake but that is okay. We make that my job, and joke at his expense about his baking capabilities (don’t worry, he laughs too).
He is not musically talented per se (we will call that my talent), but he still proudly sings in church meetings and with our children. He is wonderful at Arabic dancing, and finds so much joy in teaching our sons to do the same. Some of his favorite music is from the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. He is constantly listening to beautiful music while he cleans or does projects around the house.
Jad is a very hard worker. When he gets started on a project, he just keeps going for hours on end, never tiring. From landscaping, to gardening, to painting, to organizing, to building, he puts his all into it. This work ethic continues into his job and education. He is someone who wants to continue to progress throughout his life. He is currently studying for his CCNA certification. It is extremely difficult. He studies two nights a week on average (after having worked a full day at his job), and has a plan to achieve this certification by the Fall. He wants to support our family so that we have everything we need. He never stops learning. At work, his colleagues and superiors can count on him to find an answer when there isn’t one, or to volunteer for something that nobody else has ever attempted to do, like organize the server room (have you ever seen a server room? It can be scary).
He is also a very spiritual man. I am amazed at his knowledge of the gospel of Christ even after just eight years of being a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (I was impressed when I first met him before his 1-year mark). Today is his baptism anniversary. He is a wonderful spiritual leader in our home. Together, we make sure we study scriptures as a family, as a couple and individually daily. We pray together, do our family home evenings each week, share spiritual messages on social media often, do service as often as we can, go to the temple every month we can, and strive to set a righteous example for our children in word and in deed.
My kids have the best dad in the world. Casey is not Jad’s biological son, but he has raised him from the age of four. He loves Casey as his own, and teaches him how to be a good person.
No matter how tired Jad is after work, he will play with our kids until they get tired (which is usually never). His smile and laughter are just as precious as those of our children. He is such a fun dad in every way, and he takes his responsibility as a father incredibly seriously. He plays with them, teaches them, disciplines them, and most importantly, loves them. He gives as many kisses, provides as many snuggles, and says “I love you” as much as I do. The boys have no doubt that their daddy cherishes them. And soon, he will be able to raise his very own little girl. He is more excited about it than even I know.
Jad is also a wonderful husband. Sometimes I don’t see the big picture, and that is usually when we have quarreled in some way. Jad and I are both stubborn and sensitive. That doesn’t always work when there are feelings hurt or buttons pushed. But, I can’t imagine spending my eternity with anyone else. All the reasons above should be enough reasons, but he is so good to me. When he comes home and not everything is done, I usually am apologetic or annoyed at myself. But he always tells me that it’s okay, and gives me a kiss. He knows that I work hard every day, and he immediately offers to help me finish all that needs to be done. If I need a nap or need to get out of the house, he says, “Go ahead, honey.” He never accuses me of laziness or of making excuses. He knows that I am not that way, and he is completely understanding. He trusts me completely with our finances and with planning our weeks and months. He trusts my judgment on things. If he has concerns, he will express them, but ultimately trusts me because he knows that I make my decisions thoughtfully and prayerfully. He supports me in my endeavors, from starting (or quitting) a business to participating in a musical. We make big decisions together as a couple, and he never tries to be in charge of me or tell me what to do. He sees me as an equal partner, and we work together with God to do what is best for our family. He also does nice things for me and makes me feel special. He has made so many beautiful things for me with his hands, things I will cherish forever. He genuinely loves me, appreciates me, and thinks I am beautiful. We have also endured some scary trials and witnessed beautiful miracles together that have increased our faith.
I didn’t have to think very hard to write all this, and as I wrote from my heart, tears have streamed down my face the whole time. I am not creative like my husband, but I can write the words of my heart. He would never talk about himself the way I have just spoken about him. He is too humble and doesn’t see himself as more than ordinary. But, to me, he is extraordinary and the perfect father and husband to our family.
I love you, Jad, and I hope this birthday is your most precious yet.
As many of you know, I have three sons, ages 11, 5 and 3. Ever since getting pregnant with my fourth child, my friends and family have cheerily and optimistically expressed that they hope I have a girl this time. Usually in conversations like this, I admit that I would love to have a daughter, but that I will be happy either way.
I have tried so hard this pregnancy to leave my heart and mind open to having a fourth boy. We talk about girl and boy names, and pray for our baby to healthy and strong no matter what the gender. I also thought of a cute way to reveal the baby’s gender to Casey, who is still in Utah and will not be home to enjoy the moment with us. I took just as much care choosing the boy package as the girl package, and truly want both choices to be exciting to Casey, and to all of us.
Late last week I decided that for this week’s Family Home Evening, I wanted to discuss with my family why it is good to have a baby brother, and why it is good to have a baby sister. We did this family night on Sunday evening (July 10) just before bed.
Kamren didn’t have anything to say, but Rigel, Jad and I had a lovely conversation. Later on the phone, I also asked Casey’s opinion. Here is what we came up with.
Why it is good to have a baby brother:
Rigel – I will play with him and be sweet to him. I will want to play with him outside on the trampoline, swing on swings with him, push him on the swing, and eat with him.
Daddy – The baby will help me be a better dad, helping me be more responsible, and diligent in giving the kids responsibilities. I will want to be a better priesthood holder and example if we have another boy. I believe that if God wants us to have a boy, there is a reason. I will be motivated to lose weight to keep up with all those moving boys. The boys will have fun playing with their brother, and Kamren will have an opportunity to be a big brother to a boy.
Mommy – We will not need to go shopping for boy stuff because we have what we need. The boys will have another automatic best friend. The kids will have a lot in common and will play together well. We will have another future worthy priesthood holder in our home. I will have another boy to cuddle with me, and to motivate me to do sports. God gives us who we need, so a boy will be wonderful.
Casey – I will have someone to play with and be a friend to, who I can help learn and grow.
Why it is good to have a baby sister:
Rigel – I will play with her in my room, play outside with her, push her on the swing, and jump on trampoline with her. I will rock in the rocking chair with her, be gentle with her, and have fun with her outside with Mommy.
Daddy – I will be protective of her as her Dad. Having a girl will help me to watch what I say more. It will be a great feeling to have a girl, and will be a new experience for me. I will get to do her hair and do girl things with her, like make up games, playing with barbies, and teaching her how to sew and cook (two things I am good at).
Mommy – She is a girl so it would be nice to have another girl in the house. It would be so fun to dress a girl, and have girl stuff in the house, like dolls, ponies, princess movies and books, tea sets, etc. We will be able to do the Young Women’s program and Girls’ Camp together, and talk about girl stuff with each other. I can tell her what I know from my experiences too. Hopefully the boys will calm down a little with a sister, and be protective of her and gentle with her.
Casey – There will be someone for Mom to play with. It will be nice to learn how to have a sister, and to be gentle with her. She will be someone to play with and be a friend to.
Having this conversation really brought me peace. It was interesting to me that Casey and Rigel generally had the same reasons why having a baby brother or sister would be good. I had no doubt my boys would be happy either way. Jad and I had more complex, and differing reasons as to why having a son or daughter would be good, but we had plenty of good reasons for both.
When I found out Casey was a boy, I was overjoyed because just the idea of having a baby was amazing. With Rigel, I was surprised he was a boy because I was convinced he was a girl, but I wasn’t sad. But when I saw that little boyhood in my third ultrasound, with Kamren, I admit I was upset and had to get the pizza buffet at Pizza Hut to recuperate. That afternoon, when I told Casey that my third was a boy, he was really upset. That forced me to think of the blessing having another brother would be, and Kamren has truly been such a cherished blessing in our home.
All three of my boys are precious to me, and I can’t imagine my life without them. I truly believe that God gives us the children we are meant to raise.
I woke up this morning (July 12) excited, but nervous. On the way to UNC Hospital, I told Jad I was more nervous than I was before going on stage for Chitty Chitty Bang Bang because this knowledge will help change the direction of our lives.
We got to our appointment a little early, and everything went very smoothly. It was only minutes until I was sitting in the chair, having warm goo put on my tummy.
Rigel, Kamren, Jad and I looked at the screen, and got to hear the baby’s strong heartbeat. After some measuring and looking around at vital organs, I knew the gender reveal was coming up.
I never took my eyes from the screen, and then as I saw the camera go between the legs, I heard the ultrasound tech say the word “boy.”
Confusion came over me as I looked again. I said, “I don’t see a penis,” right as she started typing “Girl” on the screen.
“It’s a girl!” I exclaimed, my voice breaking as tears started streaming down my face. She had been asking if my oldest was a boy, not telling me I was having a boy.
Jad got emotional too, staring at our baby girl in wonder. I could see his excitement as he thought of the possibilities of being the Daddy of a little girl.
We were both so happy, it was overwhelming. The rest of the ultrasound was dedicated to the health of our baby, with some cute pictures here and there. I loved how the tech talked about “her” feet and “her” stomach, helping us really live in the moment.
Rigel really enjoyed the ultrasound, and could recognize a lot of the body parts. I really think he will go into medicine someday. Kamren’s behavior consisted of moving around in boredom, and occasionally making sure I was okay (he is very protective of me.)
We had to wait for a few minutes for the tech to show the photos and information to the OBGYN on duty. While we waited, and noticed the boys acting crazy as usual, Jad talked to them about having a sister and about how they need to be gentle with her.
When the doctor came in to see us, she optimistically informed us that our baby is growing well and is healthy.
Knowing our baby is healthy is even more wonderful than knowing she is a girl. We beamed all the way out to the car.
Jad suggested that we say a prayer before leaving the hospital. I said it, and I thanked Heavenly Father with pure gratitude for the ability to have the technology to know the gender of our baby. I couldn’t control my emotions as I thanked Him whole-heartedly for the opportunity to raise a little girl. It was a sweet, Spirit-filled moment in our minivan.
We spent some more time together as a family before Jad went back to work. It was Cow Appreciation Day at Chick-Fil-A, so we took the opportunity to get free breakfast.
All the while, I anxiously awaited to hear Casey’s reaction to opening package A. I finally heard from him just before 10AM. He was quite tired, having just woken up in California, but expressed his excitement over having a little sister.
I had sent him two DVDs. In the Girl package (labeled A), was a triple feature of The Swan Princess 1, 2, and 3. I thought it would be cool to send a princess movie for a girl, and a prince movie for a boy. I sent The Swan Princess specifically because one time I suggested the boys watch it and Casey said, “Do we have to watch princess movies?” My reply was that someday he may have a sister, and then he will definitely be watching plenty of them.
On the back of the DVD was a little note card for Casey to write his feelings. He wrote: I am so happy to have a sister to play and be a friend to.
After talking to Casey, I was able to message the rest of my and Jad’s family with the good news. I have loved reading their responses.
My mom said: I knew it! I am sooooo excited! Congrats my daughter!
And she did call it. She told me before that she knew it was a girl because she had had a dream about her. I must admit that last night and this morning, I had a feeling in my heart that I would be having a daughter too. I love the way the Lord speaks to us.
My cousin, Lisa’s, reaction very closely reflected my own: …Even if it was a boy I would have been ecstatic!…She’s got 3 big brothers who’ll watch over her and protect her…I am so happy and excited to get a girl cousin! I am close to tears…
I love every person in my family, and I know that having the first granddaughter on both sides, and our first daughter, will be a great blessing to all of us. My heart is full today!
Sometimes you just feel that you have to write about something. I feel that way tonight. I am writing about something I am completely passionate about. Why have I not written about it before, you ask? I didn’t feel compelled to. Now I do.
Many people who are passionate feel the need to spout out statistics, post sarcastic memes, name-call, or Bible bash. I am not going to do any of those things. I am going to speak from the heart, and defend the defenseless.
You know what I am talking about, don’t you?
In our modern world, we can’t go a day, or even an hour, without hearing about people’s rights to do or say or think something. Sometimes, people wish for their rights to be fulfilled by taking away the rights of others. In this case, I am referring to the rights of an unborn child to live, to love, to make decisions, to thrive, and even to fall.
I can’t think about abortion without tears coming to my eyes. I don’t wish to villainize any woman who chooses to abort her baby. I simply wish to speak the words of my heart, in hopes that someone will listen to the cries that go unheard.
There have been so many stories in books, movies, and real life, of people who reflect on their lives with regret and despair, who wish they had never been born. Inevitably, someone, whether an angelic being, or a loved one, will help them remember all they have done to affect people’s lives, their community, and even the world, for good.
George Bailey from It’s a Wonderful Life
Think, for a minute about the concept of never being born. There are millions, billions, of humans that will never be born due to the practice of abortion. Think of all they will never be able to do, or say, or think, or change. We don’t tell our loved ones that the world would be better had they never been born. Most people on this earth bring goodness, bring knowledge, bring ideas – who have we denied that opportunity to? And who and what are we missing out on through this denial?
What if the people who would discover the cure for cancer, or technology to travel to other planets, or advances in solar power, or ways to feed and water the world, were aborted by their mothers? Hopefully someone someday will find these answers, and more, that plague our world, but the more people that are born and given the opportunity to make a difference, the more likely these problems are to be solved.
If you read the stances of pro-life verses pro-choice advocates, you can see at least some sense in both sides, whether you agree with them or not. I do agree there are some instances when abortion might be necessary, though I believe that decision must be made with sincere thought and prayer. I can’t answer every question, and do not wish to refute the stances of those I disagree with.
Here is what I do know:
A baby is a work of creation between a man and a woman. Every child who is born is unique, with his/her own individual worth, and so much to offer if given the chance. How do I know this? Because I look at my own children with adoration. Each will do something different with his life. As long as I love and nurture each of them throughout their lives, and teach them what is right, they will be instruments for good in this world. I also know this from looking at each of my siblings and myself, by looking at my husband and his brother, and by looking at each and every person I have ever known. Everyone is different, interesting, and amazing. No human being is just disposable, and an unborn child becomes a human being just like you and me.
A fetus moves, a fetus feels, a fetus has a personality. I have felt it each and every time I have been pregnant with my three children (and one on the way). I had an ultrasound with my current pregnancy at about 12 weeks, and my husband and I smiled adoringly at each other as we saw our little baby jumping up and down in the womb. A fetus isn’t just a sack of cells, but a unique individual, a perfect blend of his father and mother.
A fetus may not be able to live outside of his mother’s womb until a certain time, but then, a small child cannot live on his own if abandoned either. A child, unborn or born, needs his mother to nurture, love, and protect him. This adds more value to him, not less!
Something that is wrong is wrong, whether legal or not. Laws should be there to protect, and to advocate for peace, rather than to bring convenience to those who would make unwise, and possibly unsafe, decisions.
Accountability is a trait that is admired, and expected in this world. It is important that it is consistently expected, especially since we can’t choose the consequences of our actions. Abortions are not necessary in most cases. It is true that there are many women who don’t want babies, or who can’t afford them, or who aren’t in a mental/emotional position to take care of them. However, with proper education, and safe practices, unwanted pregnancies in most cases, can be avoided. Without educating about, or expecting these precautions, society is telling girls and women that they do not have to be accountable for their actions, and that there is a painless, safe, easy way out. Except, there really isn’t if you look at the big picture.
Abortion affects not only the mother and baby, but the father of the baby, as well as immediate/extended family, and possibly others. If you abort your baby, you can’t take it back. It is permanent, and rather than taking away all your problems, it can cause so many more.
I believe with all of my heart that God weeps over every single child that is aborted. Those are His children, as are all of us. He created every soul, and wishes all to be able to live a life on earth, to have a body, to make choices, to love, to grow, to flourish. Why is it that most see the wickedness of murder and the tragedy of suicide, but often do not feel the lament of abortion?
It doesn’t matter when life begins and when it doesn’t. We cannot know that for certain, and it may be different for each baby. Government, people – we can’t make those decisions about when it is acceptable to abort a baby. What is “decided” makes no difference to the fetus who is being torn apart, and robbed of the rights, privileges, and blessings of living on this earth.
The world would be at peace if loving was what we did best – not arguing, not hating, not fighting for the sake of fighting. Nobody can argue that abortion is an act of love. Who can say that she loves her baby so much she will abort it? Living is always better than being denied life. Look at your own life. Even with all the trials and heartaches you go through, is there not sunshine? Is there not accomplishment, fulfillment, and joy? Is there not hope and faith?
10. Being a parent is the most rewarding role I have ever held in my life. My heart hurts for the women and men who cannot have children. I can only imagine how they must feel yearning for a child every day, and seeing how millions of women do not see the blessing that is right in front of them. God will provide a way for women to care for their babies if they have faith in Him, and take on the responsibility with real intent, but should they not wish for it, adoption provides a blessed opportunity for parenthood to those longing for it. Motherhood is really hard, and really taxing, but I would never even think to possibly imagine giving my children up. They are my joy, and they bring my husband and I closer together. Our children give us real purpose, help us be humble, help us see clearly, help us choose wisely, and help us love completely. They help us see God in our lives, because as He is the divine Creator, we are also co-creators with Him.
The unborn child cannot speak for himself, cannot protest, and cannot plead his cause. But, I always will. God expects it of me because of what I know.
Casey, you are 11 years old now, and as I have observed your actions lately with admiration, I wish to honor you with a tribute.
Are you always the perfect son? No, but I am not always the perfect mother, and nobody’s perfect. You and I both know where we need to improve, but that isn’t what a tribute is for. I wish to highlight and acknowledge your deeds and accomplishments so I can show you my gratitude, admiration and love.
One thing that I love about you, Casey, is that if I need you, you are there. You don’t complain when I ask you to help with your brothers, or with cleaning, or with dinner. You do it, and you do it the best way you know how. I can’t express to you how much I need this from you, and appreciate it.
I am not a perfect mother, Casey. You know that, but whether it is picking you up from school late because I forgot it was early release day, or raising my voice when I shouldn’t, or getting overly irritated with you, you love me anyway. You don’t scold me or get angry with me. You are understanding, and express that you know I have a lot on my plate, or that you understand that being a parent it hard. Thank you for loving me.
You are a service-oriented boy too. When I suggest you write a note to someone, or make a craft, you do it willingly, and from the heart. As of late, you have even written me cards as an apology for something you did, or as a way to cheer me up. I cherish those cards, and will always keep them. You are willing to use your own money to buy gifts for family members too, and you carefully choose those gifts. What a thoughtful boy you are.
I love seeing you develop your talents, skills and interests. I can’t tell you how much it pleases me to see how much you love what I love – instruments, singing, baking, acting. The first few months of the year, we worked on our second musical together, and you asked me to help you learn the ensemble songs so you could sing in the background. You were responsible and made sure you were on stage at the right time, and you did your best with your parts.
You took part in a theater club this year too, and as one of your teachers, I was always impressed with your willingness to try anything. You gave your all to everything, from games, to improvisations, to singing. At our performance showcase, you sang “Out There” from The Hunchback of Notre Dame beautifully. It isn’t an easy song, but you made sure to analyze your character and try to show what he was feeling. Tears came to my eyes when you sang.
This year as you learned a new instrument, the trombone, you always wanted to play songs for me, and you impressed me with your skills at your band concert.
You also did your best to memorize and perform “The Star Spangled Banner” for a group number at a recent Durham Bulls game. It made me smile to hear you practicing around the house, and I loved helping you practice too. Just a few days ago, you wanted to help me bake your birthday cake – you always want to help me bake. And going back to your service-oriented heart, you melted mine when you told me you set out the ingredients for me to make the icing. When I came downstairs later, I saw the ingredients lovingly laid out, and I smiled with adoration.
Your spirituality strengthens my testimony. I always tear up when you bear your testimony in church. When your teachers tell me how much you know about the scriptures, I am so proud of you, and I know it is true. Each night when we read together as family, you have comments and questions. You pay attention and want to learn. I can’t tell you how proud I have been of you lately as you have also begun to do personal scripture study before bed. I love it when you come to me and report what you have read. You will be a wonderful missionary someday – no, you already are.
School has always been a place you have excelled. I haven’t had to get on you about doing your homework or projects. You have your weaknesses in school, but overall, you are a good friend, someone your teachers love to have in class, and a really hard worker. Your final report card and EOG scores impressed me so much. You are a smart boy, but it isn’t just smarts that bring good grades. Dedication, motivation, high standards for yourself, team work, honesty, and humility are key elements too.
On the last day of school, you presented a project on homelessness in North Carolina at the Orange County Library. You clearly did your research, and your concern for the homeless was evident. You really want to help them.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rkgZ10uq_gU
After school when you told me you want to help in soup kitchens, and really hold true to your word to help, you brought tears to my eyes. And when you said you wanted to use the money you would have received for your good grades to help the homeless, I was once again in awe of the goodness of your heart.
How wonderful is it that you love projects too, especially when you get to spend time with your dad or me. I love how you want to help in the garden, paint, or assist with other projects. Just this past Saturday, you jumped at the chance to help me build a bathroom cabinet. It was such a fun experience to spend time together, make mistakes together, and then fix them together. You have an eye for building, and your observations were right on. The finished product was awesome, and it is because you were building it with me.
And finally, Casey, you are one affectionate young man. Your hugs, kisses and soft words can really calm a person. You know what gentleness brings peace, something that many people do not realize.
Casey, I am so blessed to be your mother. Heavenly Father knew I needed you when I needed you, and you will always be one of the most special people in my life. I love you, my dear son.
Last June, I started to have this great desire to do something. I told my husband, but he wasn’t quite on board with it. I was a bit surprised, but patiently waited. Two months later, he decided that my idea was a worthy one. So, we set to work to accomplish this desire.
Except, it didn’t work out. Nothing happened. We knew it was a righteous desire, but apparently it wasn’t the right time.
Hope and anticipation turned to more and more months of disappointment, which started to creep into worry.
Then, in late March, I had an exciting realization that our desire might be coming to pass. We tested out my theory, and found that I was right. Jad was in disbelief at first, but then it hit him, and flutters of excitement and yearning took hold in both of us.
Over the last few weeks, we have told some of you about this reality, and Rigel has told every person he speaks to. But, now it is time for us to officially announce that:
A new Al-Bjaly will be joining our family at the end of this year! In case you couldn’t tell by my quick weight gain, and overly emotional and tired self, I am pregnant, and couldn’t be more thrilled.
The baby’s due date is December 2, 2016.
It was hard for us not to be pregnant when we desired it, but even with my limited understanding, I see God’s wisdom in it. Kamren, my youngest, still needs that tender, loving, ever watchful attention. He is a special child in many ways – and some of those ways have made him a more challenging child. I am grateful he will be older when his little brother or sister is born. I am also grateful I was able to participate in our church’s musical Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Had I been big and pregnant, I would not have been able to be a part of it, at least not in the capacity I was in.
We are so grateful for this blessing of a fourth baby. Our children are so excited, especially Rigel, who tells everyone he sees, “My mommy has a baby in her tummy.” I am excited to see Rigel in an active big brother role.
I am also so thrilled that so many of my friends are having babies in the latter part of this year. Something about being pregnant together brings women closer.
My ultrasound to confirm due date was today, and Jad and I held hands peacefully as we got our first glimpses of our sweet baby. He/she was bouncing up and down in the womb. We laughed and knew that was definitely something our child would do.
Here are some photos for your enjoyment:
As I saw my baby, I was quietly reminded of the true miracle of conceiving, growing, and birthing a child. God designed this, and there is nothing I can do that is more sacred. I am so honored at this privilege and responsibility.
It was a special moment as I showed some of the pictures to my children.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hjT2JATQrmc
Wow, we are going to have four children before Christmas! And, even if it is another boy, we will still be completely in love!
