Tag: fear

I Will Be a Stonecatcher for You
Before I begin writing what I wish to say, I want you to understand that what I share in this post can change your life if you allow it. My life has already been changed.

If you are someone who feels discomfort, or even fear, dread, or anger when discussing the LGBTQ+ community, this post is for you even if you feel like you’d rather stop reading. Instead, I’m asking you to trust me and to believe me when I share my feelings and experiences in this post.

This writing is directed to members of my church, but I believe what I say can touch and help others as well. First, I invite you to please watch this video I made a few months back with the help of my dear brother, Aaron.

*If you would like more details from my growth on this topic, you can read it here.

In the video I said, “I encourage each of us to ask God how we can contribute to the joy, hope, and belonging of the LGBTQ people all around us.”

I have been trying to do this in my life by reading/listening to the experiences of LGBTQ+ individuals, putting loving bumper stickers on my car like “Be Kind” and “Jesus Loves You,” and wearing shirts that say things like “You are Enough,” “Love Thy Neighbor,” and “God loves the people we don’t.” I have similar stickers on my favorite water bottles too. (Try The Happy Givers if you would like to get similar things.) I have lovingly corrected people as they have said insensitive things about the LGBTQ+ community (when I have had the courage and ability to do so). I have written blog posts expressing love for this community and encouraging others to learn to do the same. I have also been a part of a latter-day saint group that meets together to find ways to be better Christlike allies for this community. And finally, because of that ally group, I have had the opportunity and privilege for the past few months to help plan an event that just happened this past Saturday called Gather Conference Southeast.

This conference was a regional subset of the official Gather Conference which is held in Provo, Utah. The goal of Gather Conferences is “to create a hope filled & supportive event for Latter-day Saint LGBTQ individuals, family members, and friends—sharing stories, providing resources and education, creating a community of belonging and connection to Jesus Christ.”

I couldn’t assist in the planning very much once school started, and I almost decided not to go to the conference because I didn’t feel useful, but something told me that I needed to be there. So, I did.

The morning of the conference, I first attended the temple as a dear friend made covenants with God. Then I made my way to the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Raleigh, NC.

I was very late for the conference, but when I arrived, I was met with friendly faces who helped me get where I needed to be. I loved the venue that was chosen for this conference. It was evident all around how accepting and loving this fellowship was, making it a perfect place to gather. To help illustrate that, here is a picture I found on their website:

I arrived right before the next session of classes. I visited the registration table first, which had a lot of nice mementos. Everyone also got to write something they wanted to get out of the conference on a strip of colored paper. We made large paper chains with these papers. Here are some of the answers that were given:

It was soon time for the next class, and my friend Misa and I chose to go to the LGBTQ+ Community Listening Session. In retrospect, this class was probably more for members of the LGBTQ+ community than anyone else, but it was such a special, Spirit-filled class.

It started with a video that was so incredibly poignant, it left me breathless. It was called “Souled of Other Stars: A Story of Coming Out and Coming In.”

We all sat in awe for a moment, and then for the rest of the time, we sat in a circle listening to beautiful people share their stories. After each person shared, we all thanked that person by name for sharing. We all listened intently, and you could tell each person in the room really cared and was moved by each story. The stories, experiences, and identities were all so different, but what tied us all together was a desire to listen, love, lift, and understand. I shed tears many times during that session, but I also felt a great sense of hope and I felt God’s love surrounding all there. We ended the session with a group hug that most of us partook in. It was a tight hug, and it felt amazing. I felt so privileged to be amongst these children of God. Here is a picture of the whole group.

After a break, all conference attendees sat together in the sanctuary for an 8-person LGBTQ+ Panel Discussion. This was my favorite part of the day. I was heart-warmed to see that many of the people that were in the listening session were also on the panel. Meghan Decker, a prominent gay latter-day saint author, led the panel in a series of questions. On the panel were gay, lesbian, a-sexual, transgender, non-binary, bi-sexual, and genderqueer individuals.

I cannot even begin to express how much hearing this panel answer questions meant to me. I have already known and cherished much of my brother’s story, but hearing these queer latter-day saints courageously, vulnerably, and honestly share so much about their life experiences and hardships touched my soul so deeply. Their identities, stories, struggles, dreams, testimonies, insights, and paths were all different, but it was clear that each of them loved God, loved their neighbor, and just wanted to be loved and welcomed, and to feel like they belong. I cried a lot during this panel discussion, and I learned what it really means to “mourn with those that mourn and comfort those that stand in need of comfort. (Mosiah 18:9).” If any community needs that, it’s the LGBTQ+ community. My heart broke when panelists burst into tears, and sometimes even sobbed over how they had been treated by church members, friends, and often even their families when they did come out. Though this was sad, there were also happy tears as those in the room could feel the strength of a panelist’s testimony of God’s love for them, their individual worth, and their divine mission on the earth. These dear people knew, or are coming to know, that this was how God created them, and they are doing their best to use their unique gifts to help others.

After this discussion, I honestly didn’t want to leave because there was such a warmth in the room. I felt the Holy Ghost so strongly and a sense of unity that I rarely feel.

It was dinner time. Before that, I rehearsed a musical number that a group of us were singing before the keynote speaker, Richard Ostler. Then I rode with a couple of them to dinner at a delicious restaurant called David’s Dumpling and Noodle Bar. All the panelists, special speakers, and committee members who planned the conference sat together at a huge table.

I was sitting within talking distance of four of the panelists, and it was an amazing time. We were all sharing our food with each other and laughing and joking. Normally in a large group gathering like that, I am very uncomfortable, but this time, I was completely at ease. I smiled because I wouldn’t normally share food with people I don’t know, and I normally would be really self-conscious about food in my teeth or on my face. But in this atmosphere, I was happy and really felt at home. We had all come to the conference for a common goal, and we all felt safe with each other. I loved it and I was filled body and soul.

After dinner it was time to prepare for our keynote speaker, Richard Ostler, who is a very sweet older gentleman who is the host of the Listen, Learn, & Love Book and Podcast. Before he began, I sang “Dear to the Heart of the Shepherd” with three other talented singers. It felt wonderful to sing such a tender song about the Savior’s love to the audience. You can listen to it here or watch it here.

“Papa Ostler,” as he is affectionately called, gave a wonderful address along with a PowerPoint presentation. He shared current church teachings and how they have changed, some personal stories that illustrated how God called him to be an advocate for the LGBTQ+ community, and many stories of LGBTQ+ people he has interviewed for his podcast. Three of the stories were about individuals who served on the panel discussion earlier in the day. I will link to their stories below:

Lindsey Sais (Her comments in my first class and in the panel discussion were some of my favorites. She is very wise and is truly a survivor.)

Jessop Oliver (He was the one I sang a duet with at the beginning of the musical number and sat next to at dinner. He’s a cheerful, kind, and caring young man who lives in Durham.)

Meghan Decker (She is a calm, articulate, and intellectual woman who does a great job of leading a discussion.)

It amazes me how many people Papa Ostler has interviewed (almost 800 as of this writing). I love how he just listens and loves. He doesn’t judge or push anyone away. He also truly mourns with community, especially those who felt they had no other choice but to end their lives. We can learn a lot from him.

After his address concluded, we had a closing prayer and then our host, Lyric, who was hugely instrumental in planning this event, asked all the LGBTQ+ individuals in the audience (who felt comfortable) to stand in a circle at the front and hold hands. And then she asked the rest of us to stand around them, encircling them with our love and support. It was a truly sacred moment as there were smiles and tears from many members of the group, inside and outside the circle.

Here is the final group photo from most of us who came (some had to leave early).

It was hard to leave this conference. There was a sheen of tears in my eyes, and a whole lot of love in my heart. It occurred to me that this must be what Zion must feel like. Everyone at the conference was truly “of one heart and one mind (Moses 7:18).” I thought about why it felt that way, and I think it’s because we were without judgment that day. We just saw each other as beloved children of God and we wanted to help each other feel loved, welcome, valued, and heard.

There are so many nuggets of wisdom that touched my heart at this wonderful Gather Conference. Allow me to share some of them. You may notice that these points mirror what my brother said in the video very well:
1. Meghan Decker shared that when you find out someone is LGBTQ+, you get to take what you know about the person and what you know about their sexual orientation/gender identity and make a choice to either change how you feel about the person or how you feel about their sexual orientation/gender identity. In my brother’s case, most people chose to change how they felt about him, leading only to pain.
2. Many LGBTQ+ individuals feel like they don’t belong. We must do better at building relationships with them, giving them a safe space, and listening to their experiences. One way to do that is to stop making LGBTQ+ people a taboo topic. If we don’t then fear, distrust, and disgust will continue to abound instead of compassion, empathy, and love. It is very painful for LGBTQ+ individuals to have to hide who they really are because they feel unsafe. If we cultivate a more inclusive environment at church, then people will feel safe sharing who they really are. When I think about this, my mind goes to David Buckner’s talk during this past General Conference. When I heard the talk the first time, this quote stuck out to me: “Do we warmly welcome all who come through the doors? Brothers and sisters, it is not enough to just sit in the pews. We must heed the Savior’s call to build higher and holier relationships with all of God’s children. We must live our faith!” The entire talk is amazing, and I encourage all members of the Church to listen to this talk through the lens of the LGBTQ+ community.
3. For those of us who are cisgender and heterosexual, we may never truly understand how someone can have a different sexual orientation or gender identity. What we can do is listen, believe, learn, love, and embrace. We don’t have to understand to do any of that. This community needs us to amplify their voices by involving them, lovingly correcting others who make insensitive comments, and talking about their realities so that others can also learn and change their hearts.
4. Worth and love aren’t earned but are unlimited gifts from God to all His children. Nothing can remove anyone from that love. Jesus invites all into His fold. So should we. To help us love better, we need to see our LGBTQ+ siblings as part of us, and not an “other” group. Remember that “[Jesus] inviteth them all to come unto him and partake of his goodness; and he denieth none that come unto him, black and white, bond and free, male and female; and he remembereth the heathen; and all are alike unto God, both Jew and Gentile (2 Nephi 26:33).”
5. When someone does come out to us, it takes a lot of courage and vulnerability. This should be a time for loving, listening, believing, and trusting. Too many people make light of their loved one’s experiences and feelings, only think about how the news will change their own lives, and even try to fix or change their loved one. The right thing to do is to be there for your loved one, meet them where they are, and trust them to receive their own personal revelation for their lives. Help them feel God’s love for them and internalize that this is how God created them. They have a divine purpose to fulfil on this earth just the way they are. Sometimes this news will change the dynamic of your home or relationship, but allow it to be a positive and creative experience as you make adjustments and new traditions.
One of the things we got in our swag bags at the conference was a bumper sticker and wristband that both say the word “Stonecatcher.” Elder Dale G. Renlund spoke of this concept in his General Conference talk from three years ago. Here is a portion of that talk (in this section he is quoting author Bryan Stevenson who wrote Just Mercy):

“…Mr. [Bryan] Stevenson observed that self-righteousness, fear, and anger have caused even Christians to hurl stones at people who stumble. He then said, ‘We can’t simply watch that happen,’ and he encouraged the congregants to become ‘stonecatchers.’ Brothers and sisters, not throwing stones is the first step in treating others with compassion. The second step is to try to catch stones thrown by others.

How we deal with advantages and disadvantages is part of life’s test. We will be judged not so much by what we say but by how we treat the vulnerable and disadvantaged. As Latter-day Saints, we seek to follow the Savior’s example, to go about doing good. We demonstrate our love for our neighbor by working to ensure the dignity of all Heavenly Father’s children.”

That is my ultimate purpose and prayer in writing this post: for all of us to become stonecatchers for the LGBTQ+ community, and for any other marginalized group of people. Please remember that every person, whether different from you or not, is equal to you in the sight of God. Every person laughs, cries, thinks, feels, make mistakes, and does good. Every person has unique quality traits that bless the lives of those they touch. I love every person I met at Gather Conference Southeast. I pray that all within the sound of my voice can feel such love in their lives.
October 24, 2024
I Wrote A Book!

Update: Here is the link to my book! It is available as a paperback, hardback, and Kindle e-book. The e-book is exactly the same as the printed copy, but you will need a pen and paper to answer the reflection questions.

Amazon.com: Likening the Book of Mormon War Chapters to Your Life: A Study Journal: 9798863509884: Al-Bjaly, Mandy: Books

And here is a cute video I made: https://youtu.be/k-9OBKOnZxE
Nearly 11 years ago, I began teaching a Book of Mormon class for young mothers. I learned and grew as a person through studying the scriptures more thoroughly and sharing thoughts with the women in my class. My favorite chapters to teach were what latter-day saints call the war chapters (Alma 43-62). This really surprised me for two reasons: I had never liked Captain Moroni (the main hero of these chapters), and I had never really related to those chapters before, thinking they were boring and had nothing to do with my life! How wrong I was. I realized for the first time that these chapters can be likened to the spiritual wars in each of our lives. I wished I had known and understood that when I was a youth.

And then, I had an idea. It was more like a call from God, really. My oldest son, Casey, was a preteen at the time, and I felt so strongly that I needed to write a book for him and other young people to help them become valiant servants of the Lord.

So, almost eight years ago, I began researching and writing a book about the war chapters of the Book of Mormon. I knew I wanted to tell every story and highlight every hero and villain. I started with all my notes from teaching my class and went from there. It was a difficult process — I remember I had probably 100 pages of notes that I had to then organize and fashion into book form.

Now, my fourth child was a baby during this time, so life was crazy, and it took me a very long time to finish my first draft (more than four years actually). I sent it out to friends and family who were willing to read it. I didn’t end up with much feedback because people were busy with their lives, but I was especially grateful for the comments from my cousin, Brooke. Her words gave me confidence when I needed it most.

She said, “I loved it. Since I’m not Mormon, it was very informative and I learned a lot about it. It was simple and to the point but very detailed. I understood what you were saying and I know minimal about that religion. Everything flowed together. So for me, it was great. I don’t know how you found time to write it, but I’m proud of you.”

In early 2021, I was going to submit my manuscript to Cedar Fort Publishing, but I was shocked to find out that this publisher required more words than I had written. How was I going to get enough words? Well, at the time, my family had just started reading about the prophet Mormon as he led the Nephites through their final battles before they were destroyed by the Lamanites. One night, I saw something I had never seen before: those chapters coincided perfectly with the war chapters. I then knew what I had to do to make my book long enough. I truly felt God’s hand helping me know what to write and how —and my book became long enough to submit it to the publisher.

I ended up sending my manuscript to two publishers that spring, but sadly, neither one of them accepted it for publication. I felt so defeated. There are so few latter-day saint publishers anyway, and not all of them were accepting self-help, nonfiction, religious books. So, for a time, I gave up. Then in early 2023, I tried again. I found another publisher and submitted my manuscript. Well, this publisher didn’t accept it either. I was just beside myself with confusion and disappointment because I knew with all of my heart that God inspired me to write this book, and He had given me so much help along the way. I didn’t know what else to do except give up again.

Well, God gave me a good break (I’m thankful because I had a little baby at the time), before giving me a clear spiritual nudge last October that I needed to try again. A couple of friends had recently spoken to me about self-publishing, so that was my answer. Before I took that huge step, though, I asked for help from friends and family to read and edit my book. I got some feedback, but not as much as I would like (people are so busy, so it’s understandable). After waiting as long as I could, I asked for help again in February, this time with an incentive. I was finally blessed to get the help I really needed.

The past several months have been filled with more hours than I can count getting my book ready to be published, from setting everything up on Kindle Direct Publishing, to updating the manuscript with people’s edits, to working with a dear friend on cover art, to fixing major formatting issues and adding headers and footers, to adding important things like a copyright page, table of contents, acknowledgements, and about the author sections. By far, the formatting was the most frustrating, especially when paired with the headers and footers. I can’t tell you how many times I spent hours on one little thing. What you see in Word is not the same thing you will see once you upload the document to KDP, so yeah, there were many tears of frustration along with the little victories.

Last week I felt that I should go through all my scripture references to make sure they were accurate. I didn’t want to (there are tons), but I did. I’m glad because there were a few mistakes. And then, I read the entire book. I had hoped not to have to do that, but when I was going through my references, I found a super random paragraph in one of my chapters that made no sense. Since nobody had caught it (totally understandable since the book is so meaty), I went ahead and read the book from start to finish, which was super helpful. I found a couple redundant reflection questions, fixed some flow issues, and even added a few new things that I thought of as I was reading.

It has been a long but very fulfilling time (especially the last three months), and I am so incredibly grateful for all the friends who selflessly helped and encouraged me to finally get this book out to the public.

I received the author proof of my paperback version today, and it was really emotional for me. Here are some photos, as well as a video with some sneak peaks!

https://youtu.be/HA3Pfl8FrnI

For more information about my book, here is the description:

You know about Captain Moroni, Helaman, and the stripling warriors already, but there is so much more to the war chapters of the Book of Mormon. In Likening the Book of Mormon War Chapters to Your Life: A Study Journal, you will learn the stories of all the heroes, the villains, and even the deceived. You will be able to study the entire 14 years of the war in detail (Alma 43-Alma 62) while answering profound questions and taking heartfelt notes to help you apply these chapters to your life. You will also have a handy timeline of the entire war at your fingertips. That alone would be amazing, but that’s not all! As you study this book, you will dive into much deeper messages like overcoming fear, the seriousness of oaths and covenants, the pitfalls of flattery, anger versus righteous indignation, and so much more. You will even be able to compare and contrast the war chapters to the final battles of the Book of Mormon, led by the prophet Mormon! These deeper messages and analyses will change your perspectives and increase your faith. Let your study of the war chapters of the Book of Mormon help you better fight your own spiritual battles and wear the whole armor of God!

You can purchase Likening the Book of Mormon War Chapters to Your Life on Amazon starting June 1, 2024. I don’t have the link yet. I will post it when I do (here and on social media). If you have friends or family that you think would love this book, please tell them about it. I would be so grateful.

I really appreciate all the love and encouragement. I truly hope that everyone who reads it loves it.

May 28, 2024
Good Humans
I have always tried to be a kind, genuine person. I see good in others and love making new friends. Because of that, I have had many friends over the years who are very different from me in their beliefs, lifestyles, values, and goals. Now, I grew up in a very religious culture where we were often taught to be in the world but not of the world, and to surround ourselves with people who believe as we do. In theory, that can be good advice, but I think it’s incomplete because:
1. Not everyone who claims to believe what you believe lives according to those beliefs.
2. A person’s set of beliefs doesn’t necessarily make them kind or easy to get along with.
3. There are so many things you can learn from people who are different from you.
4. You can be a good example and friend to others, and they can be a good example and friend to you, even with your differences.
5. Some people are yearning for friendship, and if you feel led to them, you should go to them without any caveat that they must believe as you do.
6. It’s hard to build strength of character, wisdom, critical thinking, sound judgment, and compassion if you live in a vacuum.
So, though I do believe in being the best version of myself that I can be, I know that I can do that (and have done so) while conversing with and befriending people who are very different from me. That doesn’t mean that I always understand everything about another person’s experiences, but I have found that as I truly listen and care, I grow in empathy, love, support, and acceptance for that person. Some of the best friends I have ever had don’t go to my church (although many do), and some aren’t even religious at all. I feel so blessed to have been touched by the personalities, hearts, and lives of so many kinds of people.

Sometimes we as humans are afraid of people who aren’t like us, especially if a part of who they are is seen as controversial. Because of that, some people are treated like issues to be solved rather than living, breathing humans who are worthy of love, respect, dignity, and equality.

“Us versus them” is a harmful perspective that is perpetuated far too often in the media, whether we are discussing political parties, war, religious views, equal rights, sexual orientation, etc. So many groups and perspectives are presented as black or white, good or evil, right or wrong, while completely ignoring the good humans who make up these groups or have these perspectives.

I like to read comments on articles to see how people react to information. The level-headed, thoughtful comments that address nuance, compassion, diversity, etc., are very few and far between, while the one-sided, fiery comments take flight. It’s definitely easier to let fear, anger, and disgust guide us. That way we don’t feel any need to change our hearts or minds. However, I have found that I feel a lot more peace about the views I hold when they have come from a lot of study, listening, and pondering.

Most things don’t make me angry, fearful, or disgusted anymore. There are absolutely evil people who do evil deeds in this world, and those things do bother me, but there are far more good people in this world than bad people. It pains me when people I love are judged, stereotyped, vilified, and condemned by those who choose to see evil rather than look for the good.

I saw this image on Instagram yesterday. It’s called The Dignity Index. I love it and it fits perfectly with these thoughts that have been on my mind and heart. The goal is to grow beyond numbers 1-4 and develop the qualities and mindsets to move up the scale, all the way up to number 8. It’s a process, but it can (and should) be done, not only for the well-being of those who are different than us, but for our own well-being. As we open our minds and hearts, we will become more well-rounded, caring, humble, compassionate people, full of wisdom and truth.

I truly believe that if we want to be good humans, we must treat those around us like good humans. I encourage each of us to think of and pray about how we change our hearts to see the divine nature and individual worth in people that we don’t yet. Peace and love will only increase as we do.
May 18, 2024
Preparing to Vote: A Way to Transform Our Hearts and Minds
Are you excited to vote in the upcoming mid-term elections?? Well, maybe excitement isn’t the right term, but I hope we think about it as an opportunity to make positive change. I honestly didn’t used to care much about voting. I usually skipped the mid-terms and all other local elections. I would only vote in the presidential ones, and even then, I wouldn’t really do any research. I would just vote straight one party and call it a day.

I know many people are probably that way. I want to write today because I have been on an enlightening journey for the past few years that has changed the way I think about voting and when and how to vote. It has changed my life, and I expect it will continue to as I continue learn and grow.

Who am I to offer any insight, you may ask? I’m just a regular person, that is true. I just feel like I’m supposed to share some of the things I have learned. Elections are far more important and crucial to our well-being than many people realize, and it’s not just because of who gets elected.

I have learned many things in my soul-search to be a more principled voter and citizen of our great country. Here are some of those things:
1. There is no supreme political party that has all the right answers, and none always has the moral high ground.
2. There are corrupt politicians in every political party, and there are also politicians with integrity and courage in every political party.
3. Most people want and value similar things – they just may go about it in a different way or have a different understanding. We have so much more in common than there will ever be differences.
4. Not all media is honest and not everyone who claims to be an expert or to be telling the truth is credible or has good intentions. Thus, we can’t believe everything we see, read, or hear (i.e.: flyers in the mail, radio/tv ads, news articles, etc.).
5. Pointing fingers, being judgmental, dehumanizing, and assuming the worst of organizations, parties, or groups of people, particularly when no credible research has been done, is not productive, kind, or right.
6. Talking to people of opposing viewpoints and learning more about the experiences of others we do not feel we relate to is a wonderful way to gain understanding and build compassion.
7. Voting is a privilege, and we should take it very seriously. Researching candidates and making informed decisions is our moral obligation and should be a top priority. Straight party voting is not the best way to handle voting as not all candidates in one party are people of honesty, courage, and integrity.
8. Loyalty to party and specific leaders above all else does a disservice to all of us. It hurts relationships, fills us with unhealthy anger, fear, and dread, and often causes us to ignore and withdraw from our moral compasses.
9. We must decide what is a dealbreaker for us in voting and what is not. Before deciding that, we should do our homework and make sure we know all the many facets and complexities of a platform or issue.
10. To really be balanced in our political thinking, and to ensure our perspectives are backed up by sound logic, we must avoid logical fallacies, such as name-calling, whataboutism, generalizations, straw man arguments, red herrings, etc.
There are so many more things I could share, but these are super important. I used to do a lot of these, and I know now that I was wrong about a lot of things.

So, how do we do this?
1. Work on your heart. To me, this is the most important step, and helps us feel the crucial importance of the others.
  1. Ponder on groups/organizations/people that you feel an anger/hatred/prejudice towards. Think about why and consider that you may be wrong. Reach out, do your research, and talk to people to help you ease those feelings.
  2. Look for the good everywhere you go. There is good in all races, ethnicities, cultures, sexual orientations, genders, economic and educational statuses, and political parties. Never let yourself believe otherwise.
  3. Assume that when you say or do something that isn’t kind and that is fueled by anger, hatred, intolerance or fear, that someone will be negatively affected. There is always someone reading, listening, or watching who can either be hurt by you or helped and uplifted by you.
2. Be very careful and choosy about the media you read and watch. Media that tells you what to think rather than just presents the facts is biased. Media that focuses only on the faults of one party and only the virtues and victimhood of the other is biased. Media that fuels your fear and anger is biased. Media that does not report on major events that should matter to all Americans is biased. Media that never shows the other side of an issue is biased. Every media platform will have some bias, as it chooses what to report on and how. However, there are plenty of options that are fact-based that either do not include opinion at all or present the opinion/perspectives of several sides. The virtues and faults of all leaders/parties will be shown. Fact checking will be done when appropriate. You can find some very helpful charts that show media bias. I personally choose to only watch/read media that is presented as very close to the middle or in the middle.
  1. Interactive Chart | Ad Fontes Media
  2. Media Bias Chart | AllSides
  3. The Factual’s Media Bias and Credibility Chart – The Factual | Blog (This one is not politically based but rather fact based. The chart goes from left to right rather than from the middle outwards, with the further right being the more factual.)
3. Do your research about candidates – don’t let the opposing party tell you what is true about a candidate in the other party. I have listened to and seen enough propaganda to know that this is not an effective way to learn. Instead, you can do this:
  1. Follow candidate social media pages. See how they communicate and how they serve in their communities.
  2. Go to candidate websites and read about their backgrounds, who endorses them, and what their priorities are.
  3. Look at the criminal records of candidates and compare those records to current lifestyle/attitudes.
  4. Go to websites like ballotpedia.com to see real statements from the candidates about issues that matter. Oftentimes local newspapers will also interview candidates for local positions.
4. Do your research about issues that matter to you AND just as importantly, issues that don’t matter to you but that matter to others. Most of the time, in order to get votes, parties will say the worst about each other’s platforms/perspectives to scare you into voting a certain way. There are definitely times when viewpoints are scary and unsound, but more often than not, they are just being misrepresented.
  1. Talk to your friends and family who have certain beliefs, perspectives, experiences and lifestyles that are different than yours. Have a respectful conversation about your differences and seek understanding.
  2. Look up the topic at hand, referencing studies, statistics, scholarly articles, court cases, and interviews. Do not rely on the statements of politicians alone. They are often either misinformed or are purposely trying to mislead.
  3. Work on your preconceived notions of assuming the worst about a party or candidate. Wait until after doing thorough, objective research to determine how you feel about something.
5. Educate yourself on American history and current American events. It should all matter to you – the full truth, even if it doesn’t align with what you want or who you like or follow.
  1. Watch documentaries about American/world history, particularly related to political/social issues.
  2. Read objective history books/textbooks.
  3. Study the Constitution and what it really says, as well as what the framers intended.
  4. Keep abreast of current investigations and court cases related to political figures. Also read current articles about them – what they are saying and doing.
  5. Read about Supreme Court cases, past and present, to help you know the full extent of decisions and what they mean., as they are often misrepresented.
  6. To help supplement your research, follow knowledgeable influencers on social media who dedicate their lives not to spreading hate and misinformation, but the exact opposite – spreading truth, hope, inspiration, facts, and unbiased analysis.
    
    My favorite group to follow is Mormon Women for Ethical Government (MWEG). Its purpose is to help women of faith build a “more peaceful, just, and ethical world.” You can follow this wonderful group on Facebook or Instagram, as well as visit the website: Mormon Women for Ethical Government. I actually volunteer with this organization, and the nonpartisan dedication to Christlike, peaceful, ethical politics is so refreshing. They have also put out this wonderful voting resource that can really help everyone be a more principled vote. I highly recommend reviewing it: Know Your Vote (mormonwomenforethicalgovernment.org)
    
    My favorite person to follow is Sharon McMahon. Her Instagram page is @Sharonsaysso and her website is www.sharonmcmahon.com. She is a magnificent, knowledgeable, honest, and compassionate woman who has really helped me be a better American. I always look forward to her Instagram stories, which are full of information as well as nonpartisan, compassionate, moral analysis. Below are some images I took screenshots of recently that really helped me learn more about voting, democracy, and what matters.
There is more I wish to say to Christians like myself, and I do so in this video. I hope you find some helpful direction and cause for self-reflection in these words that I felt prompted to record:

Here are a few references for my latter-day Saint readers that have helped me shape a lot of my viewpoints expressed above:
I also found a couple videos I made two years ago regarding these same issues. I will share one. Here I focus on the humanity of each of us. It mirrors the video above very well, and it was refreshing to watch it again knowing that I have grown even more since then.

I truly hope that we can all take some time to honor our moral obligation to vote in the most ethical, peaceful, law-abiding, democratic, and compassionate way. God bless everyone!

*Election Day is November 8. Don’t miss it!
October 21, 2022
My Buzz about Lightyear
If I had a genie that could grant me three wishes, one of the things I would wish for is that our society would stop making every decision by every individual or entity political. That may sound like a strange wish, but I have seen that as we do that, our opinions and views are often fueled by anger, bias, and lack of information. We often forget to be empathetic, and we instead have an us vs. them, or victim vs. villain mentality.

It happens all the time, even in movies. It’s happening right now with the new Pixar children’s film Lightyear that came out in theaters on June 17, 2022. I am seeing so many angry articles about the “woke liberal agenda” and how Tim Allen has been so wronged by not being cast. I’m seeing people unkindly express satisfaction that the movie isn’t making as much money as expected, and assume the movie has “tanked” due to the same-sex kiss in it.

Now, I have been trying for several years to fight the desire to have knee jerk reactions. It still happens sometimes, but I really do strive to search for unbiased truth as well as search inwardly for empathy as I put myself in other people’s shoes.

When I first heard about this controversy over a short kiss by a same-sex married couple in the film, my initial reaction was that the media hypes everything up into a controversy that it can, and thus can’t be taken at face value. I also shared my thoughts that Disney choosing to represent other types of couples tastefully in their films is completely understandable. I also said that there was likely a good reason for Tim Allen not being cast as Buzz rather than it being political differences with Disney.

After the initial conversation about the movie, I looked on IMDB, Common Sense Media, and Kids in Mind, which are all sites I visit to help me decide which movies and shows I will watch, and let my kids watch. I was curious what these sites had to say. It was really interesting to me that not one of these platforms showed any concern over the same-sex kiss. IMDB’s parent guide doesn’t even mention it. Kids in Mind does mention it but rated the movie at a 1 for Sex/Nudity (meaning very mild). Common Sense Media does its own ratings, as well as parent and child reviews. It rated its Sex/Romance/Nudity topic as mild and recommended the movie for ages 6 and up. Kids and parents who rated the movie gave it four stars and the overall age recommendation was 8-9. Speaking of star ratings, I checked Rotten Tomatoes and the critics and audience overall love the film as well. It would seem that Lightyear is a well-done movie that’s worth all the years of effort by many talented individuals.

Another interesting thing to me is that I haven’t seen one friend on my Facebook news feed talk about seeing the movie and being disgusted by it – not one. Curious, I did a search on Facebook today on the movie and saw article after article how Tim Allen was snubbed because he’s a conservative and how the kiss somehow was the most horrible decision Disney has ever made. Anytime I saw a post from a parent who took his/her children to the movie, though, I read nothing but positive reviews at how amazing it was. I didn’t see one post from an actual person that said the movie made them or their children uncomfortable. That’s not what the media is saying. Interesting…

I also took the time to research why Tim Allen was not chosen to voice the part of Buzz in the movie. I will be honest, I wasn’t too thrilled he wasn’t cast – I mean, his voice is iconic! But, after I read the reasoning behind it from the actual director’s mouth, it made sense. Here is the actual reason why Tim Allen was not cast, and it makes perfect sense to me.

Director Angus MacLane told Vanity Fair, “Tim’s version of Buzz is a little goofier and is a little dumber, and so he is the comic relief. In this film, Buzz is the action hero. He’s serious and ambitious and funny, but not in a goofy way that would undercut the drama. Chris Evans has the gravitas and that movie-star quality that our character needed to separate him and the movie from Tim’s version of the toy in Toy Story.”
Chris Evans on Lightyear’s Same-Sex Kiss and Trying to Sound Like Tim Allen | Vanity Fair

As far as the allegation that Disney has canceled Tim Allen, the reality is that he’s filming a whole show based on the movie “The Santa Clause.” He is still very much involved with Disney, and he has not provided any negative comments on Disney choosing another actor for Lightyear either.

Now as for this infamous kiss, it’s just Disney being overly political, right? Actually, the producer of Lightyear, Galyn Susman, said this: “It’s important to show all of the wonderful people that are around us and represent everybody, including same-sex couples, in our film. Representation is huge for us, and we want to make connections with as many people as possible. Alisha and her wife have a relationship that lasts an entire lifetime. We don’t have enough movies that show relationships that last an entire life, and that’s aspirational.”
Chris Evans on Lightyear’s Same-Sex Kiss and Trying to Sound Like Tim Allen | Vanity Fair

Uzo Aduba, the actress that played the character Alisha, said this: “It’s incredible, and a real hats off to Disney and Pixar for having that kiss be a part of this story. The kiss is a greeting and a gesture of love that is tender. It does establish who they are as people, but it is not the singular identifier for who either of them are. Seeing a loving gay couple in a meaningful way is important for everybody.”
Chris Evans on Lightyear’s Same-Sex Kiss and Trying to Sound Like Tim Allen | Vanity Fair

These statements are based in love and inclusiveness and are particularly poignant when you consider how few happy parental/marital relationships there are in Disney films.

Interestingly the kiss had initially been removed from the movie but was added back in after LGBTQ+ Pixar employees wrote a letter expressing dismay that Disney nearly always keeps same-sex affection out of their films. So, it sounds to me that Disney is not “woke” like it is being described. It sounds like the opposite, but it is working towards healthy compromise. And PS, can we stop using derogatory terms when describing different viewpoints? It’s kind of rude.

This background information and research is helpful to me, and hopefully to you, but it’s not all that I feel that I need to say.

I am a devout Christian (a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints), and along with my husband, strive to be the absolute best parent I can and to raise my children to be good, righteous people. I want them to be better than I am and to treat people better than I did growing up.

As I have been pondering over this Disney Pixar controversy, my heart is heavy. I have to wonder why so often we forget the humanity of others and only care about our own existence and our own perspectives.

Anytime I take a stance on anything, I ponder a lot about my own beliefs and what Jesus would want me to think, feel, say, or do. I have found that in many cases, Christians think so much about what they feel is right and wrong, they forget to treat others, speak to others, and show love to others the way Jesus emulated every day of His mortal life.

When people get this riled up about a simple, quick same-sex kiss in a montage of a lifetime of devotion and love, what are they angry about? What are they afraid of? What are they trying to protect their kids from?

I have seen people make comments on these politically charged articles saying that anything of a sexual nature does not belong in a children’s movie. What do those people mean by that? If they really mean what they say, then all romantic kisses and other forms of romantic affection should be removed from all children’s movies if the kiss in this instance is considered sexual. But that isn’t really what they mean, is it?

I was thinking about all the Disney movies I grew up watching to see which ones actually do include sexuality beyond tender and simple romantic kisses. One of them sticks out to me the most. It’s rated G and it came out in 1996. It is a movie I have never let my kids watch even though I did. Of a sexual nature it includes:
1. A woman dancing sensually in real life as well as in the lustful thoughts of a man as he sings.
2. A man touching and sniffing the hair of a woman without her consent.
3. An entire song about raging lust comparable to a burning fire.
4. A man threatening a woman with death if she does not succumb to him sexually.
THAT is sexuality. And that is the only time I have seen it in a Disney/Pixar film to a point that I wouldn’t want my kids to watch it. That movie is “The Hunchback of Notre Dame.” You can literally feel Frollo’s lust permeating out of him over and over again. I think it’s wrong to market a film to all audiences that includes all of those things in addition to murder, abuse, attempted murder and more.

So many Disney movies are full of immoral and evil things and yet nobody bats an eye because they are children’s movies that teach good lessons in the end. That’s good enough, right?

But, then a few years ago the media started a controversy about a “gay moment” in the new Beauty and the Beast live action film. So many Christian people boycotted that film. Well, Jad and I decided to see it first and see how we felt. There was nothing in that movie that made us uncomfortable at all. There were a couple silly moments that encompassed the supposed “gay moment,” but the movie was an absolute masterpiece and our whole family loves it. We have watched it many times.

The same thing happened again when Cruella came out. There was an outcry because one of the main characters was gay. Cruella is PG13, so not a kids’ movie, but regardless of rating, the character had no romantic relationship and there was no mention of his sexuality. He just owned a fashion boutique and loved making clothes, which if that makes him gay, that’s actually an insensitive stereotype, but anyway…

And now we have Lightyear.

My question for everyone who is boycotting Disney over this: why does it bother you?

Is it because you don’t want children to know that there are different types of couples in this world, or you just don’t want them learning it from a movie? They will find out there are same-sex couples in this world because they will see it at school, at the park, at stores, etc. That is out of your control. What is in your control is how you teach your children about same-sex attraction and marriage. You could teach your kids to ostracize and be disgusted by same-sex couples, and thus the children of those same-sex couples. Perhaps the more Christlike option, though, is to sit down with your children and explain to them that God created and loves all of His children. Though most of the time, a man and a woman will fall in love and get married, some of God’s children love people of the same sex and they marry each other. He loves them just as much as He loves the rest of us (and you can go from there if you see fit).

I wish that I had had that conversation as a child. I am pained at how I must have hurt the two different teenage boys who confided in me in high school that they were gay and I scoffed and said that nobody is actually gay. All the times I said, “That’s so gay,” or said other insensitive things because it was taboo at the time to talk about the fact that not everybody in this world is heterosexual makes me feel so ashamed.

Parents don’t usually raise their kids thinking that they will be LGBTQ+, but it happens a lot more than we think. My own beloved brother, one of the most fantastic and wonderful people I have ever known, is a part of this community. Because of that, I have always been sensitive to the possibility that one of my children, nieces or nephews, or friends of my children may also be a part of that community. I would never want anyone to feel scared of sharing who they are with me because of how I talk about or treat LGBTQ+ individuals.

I must ask, what are we saying to the LGBTQ+ community when we are outraged over a very short kiss of tenderness from a loving married couple that just happens to be same sex? It sounds like we are saying that even though same-sex marriage is legal, we are disgusted by it and thus by the people engaged in it. We are saying we do not want our kids to be around or befriend same-sex people, their spouses, or their children. We are saying we want to protect our children – hide our children, from an unnatural way of life. We are saying that our comfort level in watching a movie is more important than the equal treatment and representation of other populations. Mostly we are saying we do not see members of the LGBTQ+ community as human beings and beloved children of God who have feelings, needs, and struggles just like we do. Whether we think we are saying these things or not, we are.

Maybe those of you who are upset and angry about this movie haven’t considered how your reaction would hurt others. Maybe you also haven’t thought about the good that can come from this movie for LGBTQ+ families.

Imagine if you were the child of a same-sex couple and you never saw two moms or two dads represented in a show or film. How would you feel? I imagine I would feel sad and hurt. Imagine if you were in a same-sex relationship of loyalty and love and people thought that only a mother and a father, or a single parent, or no parent is acceptable for a children’s film. Imagine realizing that people are more comfortable with abusive, kidnapping, or murderous parents/stepparents than a relationship like yours in a children’s film. That would be really hurtful.

But then imagine if for the first time in a Disney movie there was a clip, a really short one, but a clip nonetheless, of the beauty, love, devotion, and loyalty that can come from a same-sex marriage. Might you feel like you have been seen, been heard, been appreciated? (If you don’t think that this can exist, I would implore you to get to know a same-sex couple and open your heart to them and their experiences.)

I completely understand that many people’s religious beliefs do not align with the idea of same-sex marriage, but those same people’s religious beliefs also should not align with persecuting, ostracizing or judging those who are in those relationships. In this country we believe that all people are created equal and that we all have the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. It’s not just for those who think or live the same way we do.

As a Christian, I do not feel the Holy Ghost with me when I am fueled by anger, resentment, judgment, fear, or any other negative emotion. I do feel His presence, though, when I am fueled by love, compassion, empathy, and a desire to listen and understand. Thus, I cannot listen to the voices who tell me that I need to be outraged, that I need to be against something that would hurt other human beings with the same God-given rights and privileges as I have.

I wrote this to hopefully inspire others to see another perspective and take this movie as an opportunity to teach your kids about same-sex attraction in a loving and compassionate way. That is the good that can come from it. Don’t let the screaming media take you away from who and what matters. The love we have for each other as children of God should always be at the forefront. We are infinitely more the same than we could ever be different.

I will leave you with words from Elder Dale G Renlund, a man of God and apostle of Christ:

“Jesus Christ exemplified what it means to do justly and to love mercy. He freely associated with sinners, treating them honorably and with respect. He taught the joy of keeping God’s commandments and sought to lift rather than condemn those who struggled. He did denounce those who faulted Him for ministering to people they deemed unworthy. Such self-righteousness offended Him and still does. (See Luke 15:1-2)

“To be Christlike, a person does justly, behaving honorably with both God and other people. A just person is civil in words and action and recognizes that differences in outlook or belief do not preclude genuine kindness and friendship. Individuals who do justly ‘will not have a mind to injure one another, but to live peaceably’ (Mosiah 4:13) one with another.

“To be Christlike, a person loves mercy. People who love mercy are not judgmental; they manifest compassion for others, especially for those who are less fortunate; they are gracious, kind, and honorable. These individuals treat everyone with love and understanding, regardless of characteristics such as race, gender, religious affiliation, sexual orientation, socioeconomic status, and tribal, clan, or national differences. These are superseded by Christlike love.”
Do Justly, Love Mercy, and Walk Humbly with God (churchofjesuschrist.org)

If you like this post, you may also like this one I wrote last year: Another Take on “God Doesn’t Make Mistakes” | Making Life a Bliss Complete

Please like and share this post if you feel inspired to do so. Much love to all!
June 23, 2022
The Truth Shall Make You Free

Today is an anniversary of a very important date. Normally when we think of anniversaries, we think of a happy occasion. Sadly, today’s anniversary is anything but happy. Today, January 6, 2022, is the one-year anniversary of the horrifying attack on our nation’s Capitol by armed insurrectionists who violently attempted to overthrow the peaceful counting of electoral votes and thus the peaceful transfer of power to a new president of the United States.

One year ago, as I heard about this, I wrote this on Facebook:

It’s getting very scary in our country. I feel sick to my stomach. Why are people acting like animals? Where is our humanity? What has happened to decency and ethics? We are better than this, America!

These are the articles I referenced, making sure to use the most balanced news sources I knew of: Pence removed from Senate as protesters breach Capitol security | TheHill and DC protests updates: 4 dead after US Capitol breached on day of riots (usatoday.com)

I wrote two other posts that day. Here is one I wrote:

Let me just say emphatically that you cannot justify wrong by bringing up other wrong. Wrong is wrong. Own it. Don’t justify it. If you love peace, be peaceful. If you are disgusted by past acts of violence, still be peaceful. Set the example and be a light. That’s how we make positive change.

Why did I write that? Well, it’s because people were immediately downplaying the horrifying events of that day, saying that other events that had happened the past summer regarding some destructive protests were just as bad or worse. I learned a new word not long after that called “whataboutism.” It’s when you ignore, justify, or deflect from a current horrible situation by bringing up another horrible situation performed by people of an unrelated, often opposing group. It doesn’t work in relationships, and it doesn’t work regarding the insurrection.

My thoughts, as well as the thoughts of so many, were running rampant that day. My thoughts went back to a very powerful talk given by President Dallin H. Oaks in October 2020, called “Love Your Enemies.” This quote was particularly poignant on January 6, and I posted it with a refreshed testimony of modern-day prophets and apostles:

“[Obeying the laws of the land] …also means that we peacefully accept the results of elections. We will not participate in the violence threatened by those disappointed with the outcome. In a democratic society we always have the opportunity and the duty to persist peacefully until the next election.”

It’s like he knew…

A friend of mine argued about this post saying that it was actually Antifa that stormed the Capitol (People often incorrectly define Antifa as a domestic terrorist group when in fact it is a movement devoted to anti-fascism and anti-racism). She definitely wasn’t the only one who thought that, though. It was a strange theory – that the individuals dressed up as, speaking as, and acting as Trump supporters were actually not who they said they were, but were just trying to make pro-Trump people look bad.

But, that was not the truth – not even close. The day after the breech of the Capitol, and beyond, the identities of the insurrectionists came into play. The first was the infamous horned who was in many pictures of that day. I wrote this Facebook post on January 7:

I am a huge supporter of facts and truth-finding. When I hear an accusation, I research it. Here are just two articles, among many, that identify the horned man from the Capitol yesterday. He is Jake Angeli and a popular member of QAnon. Hopefully this helps bring light to those who were using this man as a reason to believe that Antifa stormed the Capitol yesterday. He isn’t shy about it, but very proud of his membership in QAnon.

The lady who was shot and killed yesterday was also a supporter of QAnon. Ashli Babbit tweeted the day before she died: “Nothing will stop us. they can try and try and try but the storm is here and it is descending upon DC in less than 24 hours…dark to light.” Here is an article more about her: Ashli Babbitt Retweeted Lin Wood the Day She Died | Law&Crime (lawandcrime.com)

It can be hard to accept truth when it shatters some of your own ideals and loyalties. My heart hurts for those who didn’t want this to be true. Nobody wanted this to happen or be true, except those who did it. America is hurting. This isn’t about parties or politics. It’s about human decency. May we take this experience and learn from it.

Fact check: Man with painted face wearing fur and horns rallied for Trump and QAnon, not Antifa or BLM | Article [AMP] | Reuters

https://kdvr.com/…/horned-shirtless-man-at-the-capitol…/

I had become an avid advocate for the truth months before, during election season, as I read and heard so many inflammatory things in articles, in the news, in debates, in social media, etc. That conviction in me was renewed after the events of January 6. I didn’t jump to conclusions and make angry accusations with no proof. No – my heart was hurting, and I just wanted the truth because the truth brings peace and clarity. And when I shared my findings, I did so out of a place of responsibility and love with a desire to enlighten as I had been enlightened. I still have that motivation when I post and always will.

I have realized that there are many different types of people when it comes to truth. There are the people who don’t want to know what’s going on so don’t engage in truth-finding at all; the people who think they are getting truth from their chosen news sources but don’t do any fact-checking and can thus be easily fooled; the people who keep searching until they find “truth” that supports their narrative; and the people who really want to know the absolute truth no matter what that means for their current views and loyalties. And then there’s everything in between.

I have been a little bit of all of these in my life. At this point, I feel very strongly that the last one is the most responsible and helpful, and adopting that form of finding truth has changed my life for the better.

The first Sunday after the insurrection, January 9, my family was watching a long-time program put on by my church called “Music and the Spoken Word.” In that particular episode, the spoken message was all about truth-finding. It was such a breath of fresh air and brought peace to my soul. I was even happier when I saw the published article. I shared it for all to read: Music and the Spoken Word: Seek out the true and trustworthy – Church News (thechurchnews.com)

I didn’t stop there. I felt a strong spiritual pull to write a blog post on how to distinguish between truth and falsehoods, particularly in political discourse. I published it January 12: Separating the Truth from the Lies | Making Life a Bliss Complete.

I knew that my blog didn’t reach that many, but I truly hoped that my post would reach people and bring positive change. Much to my chagrin, that didn’t happen. Social media (including posts from my friends) was still overwhelmingly rampant with lies, conspiracy theories, and false accusations, as well as loud cries of election fraud. I posted my blog again on social media the following day and said:

My friends, truth does not always align with us, so maybe we should align ourselves with truth.

I feel like that comment I made was inspired. I was taking a walk the other day pondering on what I wanted to say at this one-year anniversary, and that same thought came to me again: Align your views to the truth, not align the truth to your views.

Over time I shared several unbiased, nonpartisan analyses and updates about the facts surrounding the insurrection because I wanted to help be a truth-teller. (I learned through this that telling the truth, even respectfully, can get you enemies. I have had to prayerfully, at that time and since then, consider when to post and how to post, and to whom. It has been a process and I’m grateful for the Spirit which guides me as my heart and mind are open.)

Despite Trump’s and many of his supporters’ continued, yet unfounded belief that the election was stolen, Joe Biden was inaugurated on January 20, 2021. It was a beautiful event with really inspiring music, a poignant poem, and uplifting speeches. It was a breath of fresh air in a nation filled with turmoil and hate.

And then social media shifted from constantly talking about the insurrection to bashing our new president. I saw one post being widely shared on social media just two days after inauguration, and I felt that I had to say something:

Friends, I have a piece of friendly and helpful advice: if you see an article, picture, or video posted whose sole purpose is to demean and belittle someone, question the source before you question the person the post is about. Most likely, the person who created the post is just trying to cause trouble and knows he/she is sharing untruths.

For example, tons of people have posted a video of President Biden where he is supposedly being told through his earpiece to salute the Marines and then he says it instead of salutes them. These video postings are obviously meant to make Biden look stupid and disrespectful of the military.

And yet, if you actually listen to the video, you will find that he did not say that. He actually said, “Good looking Marine.” He also was not wearing an earpiece. I looked up information about saluting too, and the Marines would need to salute him before he would salute back. The Marines in the video did not salute him at that moment.

Please understand that by sharing posts like this that division will only get worse in our country, as will unfounded disrespect for our leaders.

Is Joe Biden perfect? No. Will he make mistakes and impose some policies we don’t like or agree with? Sometimes, yes. But does he deserve our respect and support as Commander in Chief? Absolutely! And with our support and prayers he will thrive as president.

If he actually does something deplorable, please talk about it. Otherwise, leave him be. It’s wrong regardless who is president. Thanks for listening!

I can honestly say that I would share the exact sentiments no matter who the unkind and untrue post/video was about. I would hope everyone would, but it takes the truth being more important to us than what we want to be true.

Even with the shift in focus to making our new president look bad, the insurrection did not just fade into the shadows.

President Trump had been impeached by the House of Representatives on January 13, and the trial went to the Senate in February 2021 after he had left office (they tried to go to trial sooner, while Trump was still president but the request was denied). I was not able to listen to all of the trial, but I listened to/watched a great deal of it and then read updates during times I couldn’t watch. I had no preconceived notions and was there simply to hear the truth. I remember feeling incredibly shocked and terrified as the context of the events leading up to January 6 unfolded, as I heard comments made by the former president and many of his strongest and powerful allies calling for violence, as I saw images and videos of the destruction and treatment of the brave police officers, etc. My heart was heavy as my mind came to a clearer knowledge of the truth. Even though there were many accusations of this being a hyper-partisan witch hunt, I never once felt that – I could see the emotion and the pain, and the strong desire for truth to be told and accountability to be met. The day of the vote, on February 13, I pulled over to the side of the road to listen – I was probably holding my breath most of the time. I was astonished when so many senators said “not guilty.” By the end, even though a majority did vote for “guilty,” only 7 out of 17 Republicans that were needed to make a guilty verdict voted in that way. Several Republicans said they knew Trump was responsible but refused to vote guilty because he was no longer president. Others remained his supporters no matter what. I definitely wrote down the names of the 7 brave Republicans who I felt put country over party that day, regardless of the consequences which would come.

I have reflected on the effects of the impeachment results a lot. Even while the trial was going on, I had dear friends tell me they thought the impeachment trial was unnecessary and saw no need to do it since Trump was no longer president. Apparently many senators felt the same, or at least claimed to. But, as I think about what has happened over the past year, and what is continuing to happen, I’m not so sure. Had former President Trump been impeached, then maybe, just maybe, his influence would have steadily waned, especially with the Republican members of Congress. Maybe people would finally have stopped saying that the election was stolen when it had been proven over and over again that it wasn’t anyway. Maybe people wouldn’t still be hanging Trump flags and speaking horrible, unfounded things about our current president. Maybe Republican politicians wouldn’t feel like they have to choose party over principle due to fear and/or immense pressure from their shifting party values and loyalties. Maybe there wouldn’t be states adopting suppressive voting restrictions (that make voting harder for many), and excessive gerrymandering (that allows politicians to choose their voters instead of voters choosing them), in the name of someone who still claims there was massive voter fraud in the last election when there absolutely was not. And maybe friend and family relationships would now be healing that had been previously severed because of devout loyalty to the former president at all costs (I know of several people this has happened to and it truly pains my heart).

I’m so sorry if what I just said sounds negative. I’m not trying to be. This is simply the reality that has been looming over our nation for a year now, and even longer in some cases. I truly hope that the bipartisan House panel investigating the events of January 6 and leading up to it will help bring the accountability and closure our nation so desperately needs. I continue to be enlightened and shocked at the same time at their continuous findings.

After this difficult year, it would be easy for people who just want the truth to be believed and goodness to prevail, to be fearful, discouraged, and forlorn over this situation that seems like will never end.

Though my heart is sometimes heavy with how divided our country is over many politically-charged issues, the most common being something that shouldn’t even be political – COVID-19 and the vaccine – I find solace in my faith in Jesus Christ and His servants.

The most compelling thing I can share with you today is that I know that God still speaks through prophets, seers, and revelators. I have always known this, but I today I share it with you in direct relation to our current political climate in America.

Yesterday, I went back to review a blog post I wrote in October 2020 regarding my prayerful search to find out who to vote for in the presidential election. I searched for answers from my church’s 2020 General Conference and then documented my findings with specific quotes that fit the patterns I saw the most. As I looked through those yesterday, I was struck with the wisdom shared three months before the insurrection that had the counsel been followed by all, it never would have happened. These words also lead and guide us on how we need to behave now and, in the future so history does not repeat itself. Read these quotes and see how you feel reading them:

*******************************************************************************************************************

From President Dallin H. Oaks –

“In a democratic government, we will always have differences over proposed candidates and policies. However, as followers of Christ we must forgo the anger and hatred with which political choices are debated or denounced in many settings.”

“[Obeying the laws of the land] does not mean that we agree with all that is done with the force of law. It means that we obey the current law and use peaceful means to change it. It also means that we peacefully accept the results of elections. We will not participate in the violence threatened by those disappointed with the outcome. In a democratic society we always have the opportunity and the duty to persist peacefully until the next election.”

“Abraham Lincoln was right when he said, ‘There is no grievance that is a fit object of redress by mob law.’ Redress of grievances by mobs is redress by illegal means. That is anarchy, a condition that has no effective governance and no formal police, which undermines rather than protects individual rights.”

“Though Jesus’s teachings were revolutionary, He did not teach revolution or law-breaking. He taught a better way.”

From President M. Russell Ballard –

“During the past few months I have had the impression come to me that the best way to help the current world situation is for all people to rely more fully upon God and to turn their hearts to Him through sincere prayer. Humbling ourselves and seeking heaven’s inspiration to endure or conquer what is before us will be our safest and surest way to move confidently forward through these troubling times. I invite you to pray always. Pray for your family. Pray for your leaders of nations. Pray for the courageous people who are at the front lines in this current battle against social, environmental, political, and biological plagues that impact the people throughout the world, the rich and the poor, the young and the old…No matter how you pray or to whom you pray, please exercise your faith — whatever your faith may be — and
pray for your country and for your national leaders. … This is not about politics or policy. This is about peace and the healing that can come to individual souls as well as to the souls of countries.”

From Elder William K. Jackson (speaking of the culture of Christ) –

“It unites rather than divides. [There is no] or us vs. them mentality…We are all ‘us.’ We are all ‘them…”

“It heals rather than harms… We believe we are responsible and accountable for ourselves, each other, the church, and our world. Charity, true Christ-like caring, is the bedrock of this culture. We feel real concern for the needs of our fellow man, temporal and spiritual, and act on those feelings.”

“…It is a culture… of high moral standards, sacrifice, forgiveness…”

“It espouses the concept of equal worth…There is no prejudice……The worth of souls is great… It is inclusive, not exclusive… This dispels prejudice and hatred.”

From Elder D. Todd Christofferson –

Quoting Moses 7:19, “They were of one heart and of one mind.”

“What are the fundamentals that sustain a flourishing society? One that promotes happiness, progress, peace, and well-being among its members.”

“The institutions of family and religion have been crucial for endowing both individuals and communities with the virtues that sustain an enduring society…These virtues, rooted in scripture, include integrity, responsibility and accountability, compassion, marriage and fidelity in marriage, respect for others and the property of others, service and the necessity and dignity of work, among others.”

“…When people turn from a sense of accountability to God and begin to trust instead in the arm of flesh, disaster lurks…is to ignore the divine author of human rights and human dignity and give the highest priority to riches, power, and the praise of the world while often mocking and persecuting those who follow a different standard.”

From Elder Neil L. Andersen –

“As the world speaks less of Jesus Christ, let us speak more of Him…We care more about being His followers than being ‘liked’ by our own followers.”

From Elder Jeremy R. Jaggi –

“Of all the zealous social, religious and political endeavors of our day, let ‘disciple of Jesus Christ’ be our most pronounced and affirming affiliation.”

“‘Be of good cheer’ is the commandment from the Lord, not be of good fear.”

From Sister Sharon Eubank –

“Unity doesn’t magically happen; it takes work. It’s messy, sometimes it’s uncomfortable, and it happens gradually when we clear away the bad as fast as the good can grow. We are never alone in our efforts to create unity.”

From Elder Quentin L. Cook –

“The millions who have accepted the gospel of Jesus Christ have committed themselves to achieving both righteousness and unity. We are all aware that we can do better, and that is our challenge in this day. We can be a force to lift and bless society as a whole…We can be an oasis of unity and celebrate diversity. Unity and diversity are not opposites. We can achieve greater unity as we foster an atmosphere of inclusion and respect for diversity.”

“Unity is enhanced when people are treated with dignity and respect even when they are different in outward characteristics.”

From Elder Ulisses Soares –

“By following Jesus’ example, we will avoid many tragedies and undesirable behaviors that might cause family problems and disagreements, negative emotions and inclinations, perpetrating injustices and abuses, enslavement by evil addictions, and anything else that would be against the Lord’s commandments.”

From Sister Michelle Craig –

“Christ will enable us to see others as He does. And with His help, we can discern what is most needful…As with all gifts the Father so willingly offers, seeing deeply requires us to ask Him — and then act.” By asking to see others and then acting by “loving, serving, and affirming their worth and potential as prompted.”

From Elder Kelly R. Johnson –

“As we face challenges, we can rely upon the promise of the Lord taught by Paul: ‘For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind’ ” (1 Timothy 1:7).

******************************************************************************************************************

I am so incredibly grateful that I did this exercise during General Conference. It meant a lot to me then, and it means even more to me now.

In my blog post about my findings, I also expressed this sentiment: To believe one party or candidate is godly and another isn’t without truly studying and praying is doing a disservice to yourself, your country, and the candidates who wish to serve America the best way they know how.

Unfortunately, by committing to doing this research rather than automatically voting for the current president’s reelection, a relationship with someone I love dearly was severely damaged and has not recovered even with much love and service on my part. There is very little in my life that has hurt me more than this reality.

In the midst of this pain, I did feel so much peace as I listened to President Dallin H. Oaks’ talk in the April 2021 General Conference, which was three months after the insurrection. His talk was about the inspired Constitution of the United States. I’m so grateful for his talk because not only did it indirectly denounce the insurrection on January 6, 2021, it also brought me confirmation that my prayerful research, and my desire to do my research and possibly vote for a different party than normal, was righteous and acceptable before God. Here are some important quotes from the talk that illustrate that:

“Sovereign power in the people does not mean that mobs or other groups of people can intervene to intimidate or force government action.”

“…I see divine inspiration in the vital purpose of the entire Constitution. We are to be governed by law and not by individuals, and our loyalty is to the Constitution and its principles and processes, not to any office holder. In this way, all persons are to be equal before the law. These principles block the autocratic ambitions that have corrupted democracy in some countries. They also mean that none of the three branches of government should be dominant over the others or prevent the others from performing their proper constitutional functions to check one another.”

“The dignity and force of the Constitution is reduced by those who refer to it like a loyalty test or a political slogan, instead of its lofty status as a source of authorization for and limits on government authority.”

“What else are faithful Latter-day Saints to do? We must pray for the Lord to guide and bless all nations and their leaders. This is part of our article of faith. Being subject to presidents or rulers of course poses no obstacle to our opposing individual laws or policies. It does require that we exercise our influence civilly and peacefully within the framework of our constitutions and applicable laws. On contested issues, we should seek to moderate and unify. There are other duties that are part of upholding the inspired Constitution. We should learn and advocate the inspired principles of the Constitution. We should seek out and support wise and good persons who will support those principles in their public actions. We should be knowledgeable citizens who are active in making our influence felt in civic affairs.”

“There are many political issues, and no party, platform, or individual candidate can satisfy all personal preferences. Each citizen must therefore decide which issues are most important to him or her at any particular time. Then members should seek inspiration on how to exercise their influence according to their individual priorities. This process will not be easy. It may require changing party support or candidate choices, even from election to election. Such independent actions will sometimes require voters to support candidates or political parties or platforms whose other positions they cannot approve. That is one reason we encourage our members to refrain from judging one another in political matters. We should never assert that a faithful Latter-day Saint cannot belong to a particular party or vote for a particular candidate. We teach correct principles and leave our members to choose how to prioritize and apply those principles on the issues presented from time to time. We also insist, and we ask our local leaders to insist, that political choices and affiliations not be the subject of teachings or advocacy in any of our Church meetings.”

We can all learn so much from President Oaks’ words. We learn that there is a danger is putting an elected official above the law of the land or the laws of God, and that we must elect wise and good individuals to serve in our government. We learn that we must follow the law and remain peaceful when we disagree. We learn that it is acceptable and righteous to vote our consciences on the issues we feel are most important, regardless of political party, which brings further clarity to me that God doesn’t align with, or expect us to be a part of, any particular political party. And there is so much more we can learn.

I know I have taken many directions in this post, but I hope it is of help to someone. I know that even though January 6, 2021 is a day we wish never happened, we must never forget it. We must learn from it. We must be better from it. We must unite as Americans to fight for and do what is right for our country, regardless of any party, platform, policy, or politician. Maintaining the cause of freedom, and life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness for all Americans is not about any of that. It’s about spreading the light of Christ (or goodness in general) so all feel included, respected, and cared for. This cannot be done in a spirit of anger, choosing to only see your side as right and the other as completely wrong. It cannot be done by name-calling or spreading hateful gossip, exaggerations, and lies to make others look bad. No, that does nothing but cause division and hurt. Instead, to share this goodness and light that our nation so desperately needs, we must do so with unity, temperance, brotherly kindness, equity, and peaceful methods. We must strive for compromise and collaboration, set high standards for ourselves and those we elect, denounce all wrongdoing, regardless of who is doing it, and be wholly committed to embracing and sharing the TRUTH.

January 6, 2022
The Most Important New Year’s Resolution

Today I had the very special opportunity to speak in church about how to strengthen our relationship with Jesus Christ in the coming new year.

My Bishop gave me two weeks to prepare, and the first week I did spend quite a bit of time researching and pondering. But, the week before speaking, I was so busy preparing for Christmas, and was so tired, that I didn’t really sit down to finish my talk until after everyone went to bed Christmas night.

I prayed before I began pulling my talk together that I would be able to focus on and write the most worthwhile things for everyone to hear. I cannot describe just how tired I was last night, but I was somehow able to write my talk in a matter of hours. I went to bed late and then got up early to shorten it. I was happy with it. I also knew I would cry since just by reading it aloud I teared up.

Well, I got up to give my talk, and I cried many times. I felt the Spirit testify to me so strongly that Jesus Christ is my Savior and Redeemer. I ran out of time to finish my talk, but I hope and pray that people were touched today by the words God inspired me to put together. I am pasting the words to my talk below. I hope they bring joy and inspiration to you.

Merry Christmas, brothers and sisters. I hope you have felt the love of your Heavenly Father and your Savior Jesus Christ as you have celebrated His birth this season. The new year is nearly here, and it’s a time to resolve to be better than we were this past year. Perhaps the most crucial resolve we can make is to nourish and strengthen our testimony of Jesus Christ.

Elder Richard G. Scott taught that [a testimony]…is the very essence of character woven from threads born of countless correct decisions. It generates the conviction that as the teachings of the Savior are consistently obeyed, life will be beautiful, the future secure, and there will be capacity to overcome the challenges that cross our path.”

No matter where we fall on the spectrum of our faith, there are so many ways to strengthen our testimonies of Christ. I would like to discuss some of them today.

The first two are simple and go hand in hand. See if you can hear them in this quote by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland: “Daily fervent prayers seeking forgiveness and direction are essential to our lives and the nourishment of our testimonies. Personal, sincere involvement in the scriptures produces faith, hope, and solutions to our daily challenges. Frequently reading, pondering, and applying the lessons of the scriptures, combined with prayer, become an irreplaceable part of gaining and sustaining a strong, vibrant testimony.”

Have you ever studied your scriptures by focusing on the Savior? You can study the types of Christ in the Old Testament or read how the prophets prophesied of His birth, life, and atonement, especially Isaiah; you can highlight all instances where Jesus is mentioned in the scriptures, in the Book of Mormon especially; you can study each section of the topical guide that talks about Him and all the wonderful names by which He is called. You can read in the four gospels and in 3rd Nephi where Jesus actually walked with, talked with, prayed with, and healed real people. You can make those stories even more powerful and personal as you imagine that you are the blind man that he gave sight to, that you were the woman whose issue of blood was healed by touching his garment, that you were one of the children He sat upon His knee, that you were one of a member of the congregation when He gave His sermon on the mount, that you were one of the Nephites who felt the nail prints in his hands and feet. How would you have felt if you had been there – if you had seen the Savior? If you had touched Him? If you had heard Him speak? If you had seen His love for you through His eyes?

And when you pray, you can thank Heavenly Father for the precious gift of His beloved son and you can focus on what your Savior has done for you, and what He can do for you. Offer up your thanks, your reverence, your love, and your praises so that He feels your love. Ask what you can do to be like Him, to share His light, to serve His children. Pray for forgiveness of your sins and for strength to overcome weakness through the powers of His atonement.

That is another way to strengthen our testimonies of Christ – by better understanding and applying His infinite atonement to our lives. Through Christ’s atonement, we can be cleansed and redeemed as we repent.

President Russell M. Nelson has called repentance “a never-ending privilege. It is fundamental to progression and having peace of mind, comfort, and joy.”

Some of us may feel that we have sinned so heavily that there is no hope for forgiveness. If you are feeling that now, please do not feel that way another moment. Take heart on this beautiful truth from Elder Truman G. Madsen: “If there are some of you who have been tricked into the conviction that you have gone too far, … that you have had the poison of sin which makes it impossible ever again to be what you could have been—then hear me. You cannot sink farther than the light and sweeping intelligence of Jesus Christ can reach. As long as there is one spark of the will to repent and to reach, he is there. He did not just descend to your condition; he descended below it, ‘that he might be in all and through all things, the light of truth.’

Another way we can more fully appreciate the redeeming power of Christ’s atonement is by treating the ordinance of the Sacrament as a holy ordinance, and the most important part of our church meetings. Elder Holland said that this sacred weekly ordinance “should be a powerful, reverent, reflective moment. It should encourage spiritual feelings and impressions.”

In his talk “This Do in Remembrance of Me,” Elder Holland gives beautiful ideas of how we can reverently reflect on our Savior during the Sacrament. I recommend that everyone print those suggestions out and refer to them often. During the administration of this sacred ordinance, other ideas are to read the scriptures, conference talks, or sacrament hymns, and pray to Heavenly Father, thanking Him for the gift of His son, and asking for forgiveness and strength to be a better disciple of Christ.

The most beautiful truth in Elder Holland’s talk, to me was this: “In his resurrected, otherwise perfected body, our Lord of this sacrament table has chosen to retain for the benefit of his disciples the wounds in his hands and his feet and his side—signs, if you will, that painful things happen even to the pure and perfect. Signs, if you will, that pain in this world is not evidence that God doesn’t love you. It is the wounded Christ who is the captain of our soul—he who yet bears the scars of sacrifice, the lesions of love and humility and forgiveness. Those wounds are what he invites young and old, then and now, to step forward and see and feel.”

And may I now share a portion of the beautiful testimony of Elder Bruce R. McConkie: “I testify that Jesus Christ is the Son of the Living God and was crucified for the sins of the world. He is our Lord, our God, and our King. In a coming day I shall feel the nail marks in his hands and in his feet and shall wet his feet with my tears. But I shall not know any better than I know now that he is God’s Almighty Son, that he is our Savior and Redeemer, and that salvation comes in and through his atoning blood and in no other way. God grant that all of us may walk in the light as God our Father is in the light so that, according to the promises, the blood of Jesus Christ his Son will cleanse us from all sin.”

Yes, through Christ’s atonement, we can be cleansed from our sins. And as Elder Bednar has explained, the Savior’s atonement has another wonderful power – the power to enable us to be better than we are.

He said, “The Lord desires, through His Atonement and by the power of the Holy Ghost, to live in us—not only to direct us but also to empower us. … He can reach out, touch, and succor—literally run to us—and strengthen us to be more than we could ever be and help us to do that which we could never do through relying only upon our own power.”

My favorite scripture in the Book of Mormon is Ether 12:27, which reads: “I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.” Elder Bednar explained that grace is another word for Christ’s enabling power.

We should take the time to ponder and self-reflect, thinking on our past weaknesses that we have seen improve through a righteous desire to change, coupled with fervent prayer and patience. We should express our gratitude through prayer for this divine help. We can then ponder on our current weaknesses honestly, humbly, and prayerfully. We can ask the question, “What lack I yet?” and we can trust in our Savior to help us make those weak things strong. As we trust in the Lord, we will recognize how callings, opportunities, and people who come our way can help us in that enabling process. I believe in Christ’s enabling power. I have seen that some weaknesses I had years ago have slowly and steadily become strengths, and I have nobody but my Savior to thank for that. It has changed my life, and I look forward to acting on His enabling powers to help me with more of my many weaknesses.

When we fully grasp onto the Savior’s atonement, we can truly become more like Him, putting his divine attributes to the test, and can come to know that His way is the highest and holiest way.

President Thomas S. Monson taught that “love is the very essence of the gospel, and Jesus Christ is our Exemplar. His life was a legacy of love.”

In a world so full of judgment, anger, negativity, prejudice, and hate, it’s more important than ever that we resolve to stand apart from the world and exude light and love, compassion and forgiveness, empathy and understanding.

President Nelson taught that Christ has given us many gifts, one being “an unlimited capacity to love. That includes the capacity to love the unlovable and those who not only do not love you but presently persecute and despitefully use you. You may even want to ask God for His angels to walk with you where you presently do not want to tread.” Another gift President Nelson shared was the ability to forgive. He said, “Through His infinite Atonement, you can forgive those who have hurt you and who may never accept responsibility for their cruelty to you. The Savior will grant you the ability to forgive anyone who has mistreated you in any way.”

President Monson, speaking of the pure love of Christ taught that “Charity is having patience with someone who has let us down. It is resisting the impulse to become offended easily. It is accepting weaknesses and shortcomings. It is accepting people as they truly are. It is looking beyond physical appearances to attributes that will not dim through time. It is resisting the impulse to categorize others.”

Sister Silvia Allred, adding onto that, said, “When we have charity, we are willing to serve and help others when it is inconvenient and with no thought of recognition or reciprocation. We don’t wait to be assigned to help, because it becomes our very nature.”

Elder Dale G. Renlund speaking about Christ as our good shepherd, said, “The Savior’s mortal ministry was characterized by love, compassion, and empathy. He did not disdainfully walk the dusty roads of Galilee and Judea, flinching at the sight of sinners. No, He ate with them. He helped and blessed, lifted and edified, and replaced fear and despair with hope and joy. We, who are sinners, must, like the Savior, reach out to others with compassion and love. Our role is also to help and bless, lift and edify, and replace fear and despair with hope and joy. The Savior rebuked individuals who recoiled from others they viewed as unclean and who self-righteously judged others as more sinful than they. Jesus Christ set the example for us to follow—to show respect to all and hatred toward none. As His disciples, let us fully mirror His love and love one another so openly and completely that no one feels abandoned, alone, or hopeless.”

These profound teachings can help us as we do our best to grow in our love for our fellow man in the coming year. I think the key to learning to love others unconditionally is to try to see them at God sees them and love them as God loves them. No matter how imperfect any person is, no matter how they identify or look like, no matter what they say, do, feel, or think, they are beloved children of Heavenly Father. He sent His son, Jesus Christ, to atone for all of us. He has His arms outstretched to everyone and He shuns none. Why then should we? If there are people in your life right now that you are struggling to like, love, or forgive, perhaps write down their names. Ask God to help you find good in them. Ask Him to help you soften your heart towards them. Ask Him to help you internalize that you do not know all that He knows. Ask Him to help you see what good you can do for others and what good they can do for you – even those that are most unlovable. Those who are hardest to love are often those who need love the most.

Living a life of Christ-like love is a wonderful way to help increase our testimony, as is lovingly sharing our testimony with others.

President Eyring promised, “You will be a light to the world as you share your testimony. You will reflect to others the Light of Christ in your life. The Lord will find ways for that light to touch those you love.”

So, how can we better share our testimonies in this coming year? Truthfully, it is not always easy because we are sometimes worried about how people will react. But, as we pray for that desire to share the gospel of Christ with others, the Holy Ghost will help us know what to say and how to say it.

Some ideas on how to share our testimonies are naturally talking about blessings and tender mercies in our lives, bearing our testimonies in testimony meeting, sending quotes, scriptures or videos to friends or family when we feel they may need it, having pictures of Christ in our homes so that when people come to visit they will know that we love Him, using our musical talents to sing praises to Him, and utilizing social media as a way to share spiritual insights, stories, and scriptures as we feel prompted. The Lord has given us all a unique combination of spiritual gifts, and with those gifts, we can truly share His gospel with others.

The final way to increase our testimony of Christ I wish to discuss is by faithfully attending the temple regularly. Living worthy to attend the temple, and making and keeping covenants for ourselves and the dead there, will increase the presence of the Holy Ghost in our lives, leading to greater testimony.

President Nelson recently taught: “The temple lies at the center of strengthening our faith and spiritual fortitude because the Savior and His doctrine are the very heart of the temple. Everything taught in the temple increases our understanding of Jesus Christ. His essential ordinances bind us to Him through sacred priesthood covenants. Then, as we keep our covenants, He endows us with His healing, strengthening power. The Lord is providing opportunities for each of us to bolster our spiritual foundations more effectively by centering our lives on Him and on the ordinances and covenants of His temple. When you bring your temple recommend, a contrite heart, and a seeking mind to the Lord’s house of learning, He will teach you.”

If you do not have a temple recommend, please make a goal to get one next year. If you do have one, please make consistent appointments to attend, bringing family names when possible. We all can make time for the temple. Our eternal lives depend on it.

To bring my thoughts together, I would like to share this lovely thought from Elder Timothy J. Dyches – “Just as sunlight daily bathes the earth to renew and sustain life, you can daily brighten the light within you when you choose to follow Jesus Christ. A drop of sunshine is added every time you seek God in prayer; study the scriptures to “hear Him”; act on guidance and revelation from our living prophets; and obey and keep the commandments. You will invite spiritual sunlight into your soul and peace into your life each time you repent. As you partake of the sacrament, His light will shine within you. There is sunshine in your soul every time you share the gospel and bear your testimony. Every time you serve one another as the Savior did, His warmth is felt in your heart. Heavenly Father’s light always resides within His holy temple and upon all who present themselves in the house of the Lord. His light in you is enhanced with your acts of kindness, patience, forgiveness, and charity and shows itself in your happy countenance. As you keep your face towards the sunshine, the shadows cannot help but fall behind you.”

Brothers and sisters, I know that Jesus is my Savior and my Redeemer. I know that He lives, and He is in Heaven with His and our Heavenly Father. Jesus, like Heavenly Father, loves each of us unconditionally. He smiles when we smile and weeps when we weep. He is always our friend and advocate. He knows how we feel. He wants to bless us. He wants us to return to live with Heavenly Father again. He has provided the way. I pray that we can all more fully believe in Him, love Him, follow Him, and share His love in the coming year.

December 26, 2021
Separating the Truth from the Lies
For there are many yet on the earth among all sects, parties, and denominations, who are blinded by the subtle craftiness of men, whereby they lie in wait to deceive, and who are only kept from the truth because they know not where to find it. (Doctrine and Covenants 123:12)

This verse of scripture by the prophet Joseph Smith weighs heavily on my heart today. This topic of truth and where to find it has been on my mind so much lately, and I feel strongly it’s time to write about it, particularly in relation to American politics in the media.

Americans across the political spectrum have very different opinions of where they can find truth. I see too often online where people blatantly scrutinize certain news sources and those who read them, while completely believing what they read from other news sources. Do you see the problem with this?

Let’s talk about what a biased news source is. Well, it’s a source of information that appeals to just one side. In order to do that, the news source has to withhold information that would go against the perspectives, stances, and values of the side it is writing for. It also has to withhold information that would show any uprightness and sense from the opposing side(s). Sometimes, depending on the news source, there is not only withholding of important contextual information, but telling of actual lies in order to bring fear, doubt, and panic. These biased new sources write for those who only want truth that confirms the beliefs they already hold. In so doing, they cause division and bad feelings that often are not merited.

If we only read and watch news media that pats us on the back for our beliefs and puts down those who are different, we will never seek or find understanding and common ground. We will always be divided and we will always negatively judge those who don’t align with us. That is not good!

I understand that if we are very passionate about our political stances that it can be alarming, disheartening, and even scary to read about happenings in the country that seemingly threaten our ideals and perspectives, or would cause us to question our loyalty to a person or party. But, are leaders we follow or a party we align with the most important parts of who we are? What does it say about us if we refuse to see reason or red flags? In contrast, what does it say about us when we put America, humanity, ethics, and common decency above party? Perhaps we should all think about the most important loyalties we should cleave to when we make our decisions about truths we look for and accept.

Now, are all media outlets biased, and how would we even know?

Well, I have read articles from news sources, and posts from people claiming to be experts on politics, all over the spectrum. Here are some signs I have found of bias and untruths (this is not all-inclusive, and not all biased news sources will have all):
1. Accusations and assumptions are made without any proof or without substantial proof.
2. There are no cited sources, or the sources cited are of only one side of the political spectrum.
3. The cited sources used to prove someone’s perspective or character are from years past, with no effort to cite current statements or analyze current character.
4. The writing is fueled by anger, hate, and insults.
5. The writer’s personal opinion takes precedent over fact-telling.
6. The information presented seems incomplete or doesn’t make sense, yet there is no mention of the holes or ongoing investigations to fill them.
7. There are only positive things written about one side, while facts about the other side are all negative.
8. Blanket statements are made about a party without recognizing individual beliefs and platforms of a leader or candidate.
9. Blame is always put on the other side.
10. The article justifies wrongdoings within one party and then condemns the wrongdoings of another.
11. Predictions of how awful life would be under the leadership of another party are rampant.
12. After reading it, readers will have no sense of positive understanding towards sides other than their own.
13. After reading it, readers will feel superior in their viewpoints, party, and leadership, feeling no need for growth.
I would say that all news outlets have some bias, as they do choose what to report on and what not to report on, based on what they feel is most important, but there will be a lot of differences in media that is trying to be balanced:
1. There will be many quotes from all sides of the political spectrum with sources cited.
2. Great detail about any event will be provided, usually from start to finish, with updates as they come in.
3. Opinions of the author will not be used. Any opinions will be quotes from those who would have influence over the situation.
4. Anger, hatred, and insults will not be involved in the writing, unless people relevant to the situation are being quoted. Quotes like this will come from all over the spectrum, not just one side.
5. Blanket statements are not made, but rather each leader and member of a party are recognized for individual beliefs and platforms.
6. Accusations and theories will be fact-checked in detail with sources cited.
7. What is written will sometimes trouble readers and make them uncomfortable, perhaps leading them to question things and people they have believed in and supported.
My aunt sent me a Media Bias Chart several months ago, and I have used it in my search for centered, and as unbiased as possible truth. It has been very helpful to me. Here it is:

This isn’t a perfect representation of bias, but I have found it to be pretty accurate. Where does your reading material fall? If you are reading items on one of the far sides, I would encourage you to add to it and read some more of the centered articles, as they are sure to include more fact, context, and relevant information to help you draw more balanced conclusions based on current events.

This chart does not analyze visual media or talk radio, but all we have talked about regarding bias still applies. And be very careful with videos and pictures that show alarming “truths.” Videos and pictures can easily be edited to present any desired message.

I want you to ask yourself if you are afraid of a political party. Ask yourself if you believe a political party is evil. Ask yourself if you think one political party only lies while your political party always tells the truth. Ask yourself if you think that your party is God’s party. Ask yourself if you think that leadership under a political party other than yours will destroy the country. And now ask yourself why you think that and if that is a fair assessment.

Do you really believe everyone who isn’t a part of your political party, or who didn’t vote for your candidate is evil, godless, lying, and a threat to our freedom as we enjoy it? Think of what that would imply and how that would affect your relationships with everyone around you.

Regardless of your political viewpoints, it is a fact that there will be good and bad to come from your party or your chosen leadership. I have said all along that there is good in all parties – they just have different views on what is best for our country and what the best means are to help and improve our country.

There will also be bad apples in every party and from leaders of those parties. If there is a bad apple in yours, it doesn’t mean you are a bad person, and people in other parties should not call names or judge you. It also doesn’t mean you have to continue to follow the bad apples simply because of your party choice. We are all more than our party and we have power to make positive change in our country and in our world. We just need to stand for truth and for goodness always. That can make us uncomfortable. It can stretch us. But that is a good thing. It shows humility, a desire for growth, and selflessness.

In order for us to make positive change, in order for us to seek understanding and unite with those who are different than us, in order for us to be a good example and persuade others to do good, we must seek for truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

After your study, if you still find yourself confused or lost, pray for help to recognize the truth and to accept it, regardless of how it may change you.

And after these prayers, when you finally find that balanced, detailed truth, free from omission, lies, and manipulation, what do you with it?

You share it. It takes courage to do it, and people will even oppose you for it.

Elder Lawrence E. Corbridge said, “Opposition, criticism, and antagonism are companions to the truth…Look for the biggest dust cloud billowing above the most dirt that is kicked at One who was most opposed, challenged, and rejected, beaten, abandoned, and crucified, One who descended below all things, and there you will find the truth, the Son of God, the Savior of all mankind. Why did they not leave Him alone? Why? Because He is the truth, and the truth will always be opposed.”

I love this quote. It’s heartbreaking, but so inspiring. Our Savior, Jesus Christ is the truth. To stand for truth, we must stand for Him. We must emulate Him. We must stand for events that emulate His qualities and goodness, and we must boldly stand against events that tear down all He stands for.

Bringing light to the world is what will help bring peace, healing and unity. It isn’t in the defending of darkness disguised as light.

If you hear me stand for truth and right, and against wrong, it is not because I am a hater of a particular person or party. That will never be my reasoning, as I do not define myself by a party and I do not align myself to any leader with unwavering loyalty. No, the only person who I must have unwavering loyalty to is God. If you aren’t a believer in God, then have unwavering loyalty to the cause of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness for all Americans. I also have an unwavering loyalty to that beautiful cause that should unite America because this cause aligns with God’s plan for His children.

I hope that my words have given food for thought. I am not an expert and I am continuously working on my own biases, but I don’t have hate or fear in my heart. For that I am so grateful. It brings a freedom that you can only describe if you have felt it. I want that freedom for all. It starts with finding truth. I wish you the best as you search for it and find it.

[bctt tweet=”Remember, my friends, truth does not always align with us, so maybe we should align ourselves with truth.” username=”mrsapplejelly”]

It may not always be easy, convenient, or politically correct to stand for truth and right, but it is the right thing to do. Always.
January 12, 2021
How General Conference is Shaping My Vote this Election

I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and have been my entire life. Twice a year, my family and I spend a Saturday and Sunday watching several sessions of General Conference, a worldwide conference where we listen to prophets, apostles, and other men and women called of God speak to us regarding how we can be more like Jesus Christ through living His gospel.

We are always encouraged to prepare for Conference with a question to be answered. We are asked to pray for an answer to that question and then watch conference with an open heart and mind, listening for that answer.

This particular Conference my question was one weighing heavily on my heart: who should I vote for in the upcoming 2020 presidential election?

I knew that I would not hear a name in Conference, for my church does not endorse a particular political party. In fact, the first president just today reiterated that in a letter to American Latter-day Saints:

“Principles compatible with the gospel may be found in various political parties, and members should seek candidates who best embody those principles.”
The First Presidency

Regardless of that knowledge, I still wanted to hear what qualities and issues that would be most important for me to study and consider as I work diligently to choose the worthiest candidate.

I can tell you most emphatically that my prayer was answered over the weekend. I still don’t have the name, but I do know what I will be focusing on to make my decision as to who will best lead this country and change it for the good of all Americans.

These were the topics I found most poignant as I listened to conference. The question I am asking myself, and I hope you will ask yourself, is who will best take action on these important and essential issues that shape our society?

The ideal presidential candidate, based on teachings in General Conference, will be devoted to:

Rooting out Racism/Prejudice/Inequality

“As citizens and as members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we must do better to help root out racism…This country should be better in eliminating racism, not only against Black Americans, who were most visible in the recent protests, but also against Latinos, Asians and other groups. This nation’s history of racism is not a happy one and we must do better.”
President Dallin H. Oaks

“The Savior’s ministry and message have consistently declared all races and colors are children of God. We are all brothers and sisters.”
Elder Quentin L. Cook

“Each of us has a divine potential because each is a child of God. Each is equal in His eyes. …Brothers and sisters, please listen carefully to what I
am about to say. God does not love one race more than another. His doctrine on this matter is clear. He invites all to come unto Him, ‘black and white, bond and free, male and female’ (2 Nephi 26:33). I assure you that your standing before God is not determined by the color of your
skin. Favor or disfavor with God is dependent upon your devotion to God and His commandments, and not the color of your skin.”
President Russel M. Nelson

Speaking of the Culture of Christ: “…. It espouses the concept of equal worth…There is no prejudice……The worth of souls is great… It is inclusive, not exclusive… This dispels prejudice and hatred.”
Elder William K. Jackson

Speaking of the Culture of Christ: “In the culture of Christ, women are elevated to their proper and eternal status. They are not subservient to men…but full and equal partners here and in the world to come.”
Elder William K. Jackson

Building Unity Not Division

“Unity doesn’t magically happen; it takes work. It’s messy, sometimes it’s uncomfortable, and it happens gradually when we clear away the bad as fast as the good can grow. We are never alone in our efforts to create unity.”
Sister Sharon Eubank

Speaking of the City of Enoch, “They were of one heart and of one mind.”
Elder D. Todd Christofferson, quoting Moses 7:19

Speaking of the Culture of Christ: “It unites rather than divides. [There is no] or us vs. them mentality…We are all ‘us.’ We are all ‘them…”
Elder William K. Jackson

“The millions who have accepted the gospel of Jesus Christ have committed themselves to achieving both righteousness and unity. We are all aware that we can do better, and that is our challenge in this day. We can be a force to lift and bless society as a whole…We can be an oasis of unity and celebrate diversity. Unity and diversity are not opposites. We can achieve greater unity as we foster an atmosphere of inclusion and respect for diversity.”
Elder Quentin L. Cook

“Unity is enhanced when people are treated with dignity and respect even when they are different in outward characteristics.”
Elder Quentin L. Cook

Respecting Rather than Hating Those Who Have Differing Opinions

“In a democratic government, we will always have differences over proposed candidates and policies. However, as followers of Christ we must forgo the anger and hatred with which political choices are debated or denounced in many settings.”
President Dallin H. Oaks

Spreading Optimism Rather than Panic and Fear

“As we face challenges, we can rely upon the promise of the Lord taught by Paul: ‘For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind’ ” (1 Timothy 1:7).
Elder Kelly R. Johnson

“‘Be of good cheer’ is the commandment from the Lord, not
be of good fear.”
Elder Jeremy R. Jaggi

Vocally and Actively Following Christ

“Of all the zealous social, religious and political endeavors of our day, let ‘disciple of Jesus Christ’ be our most pronounced and affirming affiliation.”
Elder Jeremy R. Jaggi

“As the world speaks less of Jesus Christ, let us speak more of Him…We care more about being His followers than being ‘liked’ by our own followers.”
Elder Neil L. Andersen

“By following Jesus’ example, we will avoid many tragedies and undesirable behaviors that might cause family problems and disagreements, negative emotions and inclinations, perpetrating injustices and abuses, enslavement by evil addictions, and anything else that would be against the Lord’s commandments.”
Elder Ulisses Soares

Eliminating Poverty

“I speak of the poor whom the Savior told us never to forget…”
Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

“In the household of faith there are to be no strangers, no foreigners, no rich and poor, no outside others.”
Elder Gerrit W. Gong

Speaking of the Culture of Christ: “There is no recognition of caste or class…”
Elder William K. Jackson

Speaking of the City of Enoch, “…and there was no poor among them.”
Elder D. Todd Christofferson, quoting Moses 7:18

Helping Americans Get Through All the Difficulties of COVID-19

*Our church leaders set an excellent example during conference by sitting six feet apart and wearing masks when they weren’t speaking. There was no audience. Also, Elder Gerrit Gong recorded his talk in advance because he had possible been exposed to the virus. This shows just how seriously they are taking COVID-19 and how much they respect each other’s health, as we should.

“Amid social distancing, face masks and Zoom meetings, we have learned to do some things differently, and some even more effectively. Unusual times can bring unusual rewards.”
President Russel M. Nelson

“I doubt there is a person who hears my voice or reads my words who has not been affected by the world-wide pandemic. To those who mourn the loss of family and friends, we mourn with you. We plead with Heavenly Father to comfort and console you. The long-term consequences of this virus go beyond physical health. Many families have lost incomes and are threatened with hunger, uncertainty, and apprehension. We admire the selfless efforts of so many to prevent the spread of this disease. We are humbled by the quiet sacrifice and noble efforts of those who have risked their own safety to assist, heal and support people in need. Our hearts are full of gratitude for your goodness and compassion.”
Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf

“We will endure this, yes. But we will do more than simply grit our teeth, hold on and wait for things to return to the old normal. We will move forward, and we will be better as a result.”
Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Maintaining Law and Order

“[Obeying the laws of the land] does not mean that we agree with all that is done with the force of law. It means that we obey the current law and use peaceful means to change it. It also means that we peacefully accept the results of elections. We will not participate in the violence threatened by those disappointed with the outcome. In a democratic society we always have the opportunity and the duty to persist peacefully until the next election.”
President Dallin H. Oaks

“Abraham Lincoln was right when he said, ‘There is no grievance that is a fit object of redress by mob law.’ Redress of grievances by mobs is redress by illegal means. That is anarchy, a condition that has no effective governance and no formal police, which undermines rather than protects individual rights.”
President Dallin H. Oaks

“Though Jesus’s teachings were revolutionary, He did not teach revolution or law-breaking. He taught a better way.”
President Dallin H. Oaks

“Redress of grievances by mobs is redress by illegal means. That is anarchy, a condition that has no effective governance and no formal police, which undermines rather than protects individual rights.”
President Dallin H. Oaks

Showing Mercy and Compassion to Those He/She Serves

“We often think of substance in terms of food or money, but perhaps what we all need more of in our ministering is mercy.”
Sister Sharon Eubank

“The Lord is always looking for willing volunteers to be angels in others’ lives.”
Elder Carlos A. Godoy

“To be Christlike, a person loves mercy. People who love mercy are not judgmental; they manifest compassion for others, especially for those who are less fortunate. They are gracious, kind, and honorable. These individuals treat everyone with love and understanding, regardless of characteristics such as race, gender, religious affiliation, sexual orientation, socioeconomic status, and tribal, clan, or national differences. These are superseded by Christlike love.”
Elder Dale G. Renlund

“Christ will enable us to see others as He does. And with His help, we can discern what is most needful…As with all gifts the Father so willingly
offers, seeing deeply requires us to ask Him — and then act.” By asking to see others and then acting by “loving, serving, and affirming their worth and potential as prompted.”
Sister Michelle Craig

Speaking of the Culture of Christ: “It heals rather than harms… We believe we are responsible and accountable for ourselves, each other, the church, and our world. Charity, true Christ-like caring, is the bedrock of this culture. We feel real concern for the needs of our fellow man, temporal and spiritual, and act on those feelings.”
Elder William K. Jackson

“What are the fundamentals that sustain a flourishing society? One that promotes happiness, progress, peace, and well-being among its members.”
Elder D. Todd Christofferson

Praying For His/Her Nation and Its People

*Conference was full of loving assurances that our leaders are praying for us. President Nelson’s below is just one of them.

“I grieve with each of you who has lost a loved one during this
time. And I pray for all who are currently suffering.”
President Russel M. Nation

“During the past few months I have had the impression come to me that the best way to help the current world situation is for all people to rely more fully upon God and to turn their hearts to Him through sincere prayer. Humbling ourselves and seeking heaven’s inspiration to endure or conquer what is before us will be our safest and surest way to move confidently forward through these troubling times. I invite you to pray always. Pray for your family. Pray for your leaders of nations. Pray for the courageous people who are at the front lines in this current battle against social, environmental, political, and biological plagues that impact the people throughout the world, the rich and the poor, the young and the old…No matter how you pray or to whom you pray, please
exercise your faith — whatever your faith may be — and
pray for your country and for your national leaders. … This
is not about politics or policy. This is about peace and the
healing that can come to individual souls as well as to the souls of countries.”
Elder M. Russell Ballard

Maintaining and Building Virtue in Society

“The institutions of family and religion have been crucial for endowing both individuals and communities with the virtues that sustain an enduring society…These virtues, rooted in scripture, include integrity, responsibility and accountability, compassion, marriage and fidelity in marriage, respect for others and the property of others, service and the necessity and dignity of work, among others.”
Elder D. Todd Christofferson

“…When people turn from a sense of accountability to God and begin to trust instead in the arm of flesh, disaster lurks…is to ignore the divine author of human rights and human dignity and give the highest priority to riches, power, and the praise of the world while often mocking and persecuting those who follow a different standard.”
Elder D. Todd Christofferson

Speaking of the Culture of Christ: “…It is a culture… of high moral standards, sacrifice, forgiveness…”
Elder William K. Jackson

“The institutions of family and religion have been crucial for endowing both individuals and communities with the virtues that sustain an enduring society.”
Elder D. Todd Christofferson

Helping Americans Become Self-Reliant

“The more self-reliant we are — temporally, emotionally and
spiritually — the more prepared we are to thwart Satan’s
relentless assaults.”
President Russel M. Nelson

“In an ever-changing world, we must prepare for uncertainties. Even with better days ahead we know that the temporal peaks and valleys of mortality will continue. As we seek to become temporally prepared, we can face the trials of life with increased confidence, peace in our hearts, and like Joseph of Egypt, we will be able to say, even in stressful circumstances, ‘There was bread.’”
Bishop W. Christopher Waddell

“If ye are prepared, ye shall not fear.”
President Russel M. Nelson quoting, Doctrine & Covenants 38:30

Respecting and Sustaining the Family

Speaking of the Culture of Christ: “This culture sanctions the sanctity of the family…”
Elder William K. Jackson

“Adultery, promiscuity, elective abortion and out of wedlock births are but some of the bitter fruits that grow out of the immorality sanctioned by the sexual revolution. Follow-on consequences that work against the sustainability of a healthy society include growing numbers of children raised in poverty and without the positive influence of fathers, sometimes through multiple generations, women bearing alone what should be shared responsibilities, and seriously deficient education as schools, like other institutions, are tasked to compensate for failure in the home.”
Elder D. Todd Christofferson

*If abortion has caused you to feel like you have no choice in who you vote for, read my most current blog post here.

As an honorable mention, in his talk, D. Todd Christofferson took the time to speak about the United Nations: “In 2015, the United Nations adopted what was called the 2030 Agenda for Sustainable Development. It was described as a shared blueprint for peace and prosperity for people and the planet now and into the future…includes 17 goals…such as no poverty, zero hunger, quality education, gender equality, clean water and sanitation, and decent work.” Please read this talk where he also discussed this initiative as a positive thing for our world.

Who am I going to vote for? Well, I will be studying each candidate’s (including the major 3rd party candidates’) platforms on each of these crucial principles. I believe that there are different ways to do many of these things, and I also believe that each candidate will embody some of these things. I hope to find one that embodies all, but if not, I will base my decision, after this research, on the answers I receive through fervent prayer.

I hope that my Latter-day Saint friends, or other friends who believe in these powerful principles, will do this exercise with me, having an open heart and mind. To believe one party or candidate is godly and another isn’t without truly studying and praying is doing a disservice to yourself, your country, and the candidates who wish to serve America the best way they know how.

I would love to hear your findings. I will be publishing comments from each candidate on as many of these points as I can to help myself and others choose the candidate who will embody what our church leaders spoke of passionately and frequently in Conference.

**Update: I spent the week researching each candidate’s views on the issues above. If you would like a copy of my PowerPoint presentation, just email me at mrsapplejelly@gmail.com and I would be happy to send it to you. Best wishes, and God bless you!

Please vote your conscience! And please respect others’ decisions!

October 6, 2020
Of Race and Words
Black Lives Matter, All Lives Matter, Blue Lives Matter, I Don’t See Color, White Privilege…

These are just words, phrases. Yet, they elicit a strong response in most of us, and probably in different ways for different reasons.

Assumptions are made when people use these phrases, yet intentions may vary greatly. Assumptions are also made when people dislike these phrases, yet reasons may vary greatly.

I think it’s time that we stop making assumptions, and start seeking understanding when people say certain things.

Let’s go over these phrases together:

Black Lives Matter – I am ashamed to say that I used to be uncomfortable by this phrase because it seemed to be saying that black lives mattered more than other lives. Perhaps there are some few who do/did believe that, but, I have since learned that saying this does not, should not, mean that other lives do not matter. It simply means that black lives need more care, more protection, more change, and more hope because they are still seeing much inequality, injustice, and persecution in this country. They are seeing needless deaths over and over and they want to passionately express that their lives are just as important as everyone else’s. And you know what? This phrase is not just for black people – it’s for everyone who wants to see racism die. I know that I do. As long as this phrase is used to bring awareness and positive change to the issue of racism in this country, and not as a reason to justify violent protests and destruction, it is good.

All Lives Matter – The intention of using this phrase greatly affects the way people take it. Too many people say it because they don’t like to face the possibility that racism really exists – because it makes them uncomfortable to face the possibility of corruption. They want to stay color-blind and minimize the oppression black people in this country and other countries still face. There are also well-meaning people who say it because they really, truly believe in the sanctity of all lives, and that includes black lives. They feel it’s more helpful to use this phrase. Just remember, that in order for this phrase to be true, Black Lives Matter must also become true. So, to be passionate about one and not the other would be an oxymoron. Use the phrase in love for all and a desire to make the phrase true, and it can be good.

Blue Lives Matter – Because of the ongoing list of examples in recent years of blacks being killed needlessly by corrupt police officers, this phrase can be a touchy one. Some feel that this phrase is in opposition to Black Lives Matter, and truthfully, it often is. But, to those with good intentions, they use this phrase not to minimize black lives or justify killing them. They just know, and have compassion for the fact, that police officers face danger on a daily basis too. They know that many fear going to work as they may face retaliation for something that corrupt police officers have done. Perhaps the most important reason for this phrase is to show that most police officers are good people who truly wish to protect their communities. Use it this way, and not in any way to minimalize Black Lives Matter or retaliate against it, and this phrase can be good.

I Don’t See Color – This phrase is usually used by well-intentioned white people. They are usually genuinely trying to express that color isn’t what motivates how they treat people. However, it’s important to understand that people of color want you to see their color – see it as beautiful, meaningful, and a part of who they are. They want you to see their struggles and support them in their fight to end racism. We cannot fix something we cannot, or choose not to see. Thus, we must choose to see color.

White Privilege – I used to hate this term. I don’t feel privileged. Nothing in my life has been handed to me on a silver platter. I have had to work hard for all I have. I have had many heartaches, disappointments, and unfairness in my life. Something I realized more recently than I care to admit, though, is that being “privileged” doesn’t mean that everything in my life is easy. It just means that I don’t experience some of the horrible hardships and persecutions and fear that others face who don’t have the color of my skin. It’s hard to admit because it’s not something I as a white person have any control over, want, or think I deserve. I don’t want to be judged harshly for being white, which is something I cannot control, or treated like I think I’m better than everyone else simply because I’m white. I cannot control what others think of me any more than I can control the color of my skin. But, what I can do is recognize that there is still a major gap in racial equality. We have come so far from Civil War times, and Civil Rights times, but to say racism is gone and that there is no white privilege is ignoring other people’s suffering because we don’t want to face it. It’s easier to ignore it. But ignoring it doesn’t help, and it doesn’t make life safer or happier for those who are less privileged than me. As someone who is privileged, I need to stand up and fight for a world where people are only privileged by merit and deed, not by the color of their skin. White friends and family, instead of being annoyed or offended at this term, let’s use it as a way to make change.

As you can see, all of these phrases can be forces for good if said and met with good intention.

But, we are not there yet! It’s refreshing right now to see so many well-intentioned, well-rounded, respectful posts and comments related to George Floyd’s murder and the subsequent protests and rioting. However, it is difficult and discouraging to read so many posts and comments that go far in the other direction.

I feel that I speak out against what I am reading. I feel that I must share what I know to be right.

Based on my experience as someone trying to be a good person, as a writer, as a Christian, and as a social media follower, I have learned that:
1. Speaking in condescending tones while calling names and cursing dramatically will not bring people to your side. It will simply solidify someone’s reasoning to disagree with you.
2. If you must speak in anger, you should do it with the intention to do good – not to shame, criticize, or show any form of hatred or prejudice. Anger intertwined with hate will only harm you and others who decide to join you in that hate.
3. Extreme sarcasm only gets positive reactions from those who already agree with you. Avoid it, as it makes you seem egotistical and unopen to others’ perspectives.
4. Judging people without knowing their hearts is playing God. Only God knows what is in someone’s heart. It is not up to us to decide who is evil or who deserved what they got.
5. Not speaking up due to fear will not help you or anyone else. We all have experiences, knowledge, and convictions to share. Perhaps you will be the one who can change someone’s heart. This is a hard one, but you will feel so much better as you try.
6. Blindly sharing what you see on Facebook makes you seem uneducated. Before you share “facts,” fact check. And make sure what you are sharing is helpful, not hurtful.
7. Not everything is a political issue, especially the value of someone’s life. This is a human issue, so stop making it so political. This can only divide us.
8. Calling out hypocrisy only helps if you are making plans to stop it, to change it, and make sure you aren’t also a hypocrite.
9. You can be well-rounded. Not everything is one way or the other. We shouldn’t compartmentalize groups of people because when we do, we forget that people are complex and have their own individualized views based on experience and conviction.
10. Labels are only good to help present and appreciate identity, not to deliberately try to divide others. Remember that we all wear the labels first of human being and children of God.
11. Stereotypes are a form of racism, as is ignoring the problem, justifying the problem, and ignoring history. Subtle racism is still racism, so be careful how you say things.
12. If you must condemn actions, provide a better choice so it’s not just judgment we are spreading, but motivation for change.
13. We need to think before we talk or post. Would we want someone to say those things to us, or our friend, or our family member? What message are we sending?
14. It’s so important to look outside our own perspective and try to step into someone else’s shoes. If we do this, we will find we are less judgmental, critical, careless, and skeptical. We will instead learn understanding and empathy.
15. Never minimize the experience of others. Their fear is real. Their anxiety is real. Their pain is real. Try to understand. Ask rather than assume something isn’t as bad as it seems.
16. If you want to make change, focus on the root of the problem. It may not be obvious. Seek it out. What can you do individually to help it? What can you say to persuade others to make better choices?
17. When you share a meme, it may seem powerful at the time, but think before you post it. The message may not be as it seems. It may hurt others.
18. Do not take the media so seriously. There are agendas and half-truths told all day long. It’s our responsibility to search for real, unbiased truth. You may realize there is a lot more goodness in this world than you realized. You may also realize how much change is needed, and how you can take a stand.
19. Not everybody will agree with you. You can’t make people believe what you believe. But, if you speak respectfully with good intentions and a passion for positive change, you will be a force for good for those who are ready to listen, understand, and find common ground.
20. Spread what will do the most good – love, kindness, understanding, acts of service, and inspirational messages. We have too much hate and negativity in this world.
Some of these things are hard to hear and even harder to do. I’m sure I am sometimes guilty of these things myself – being silent for too long is the one I regret the most. But I do make the best effort I can to spread love, not hate. I try very hard to speak to educate rather than denigrate. I work to understand others who are different than me rather than toss their views aside. I try to unite, not divide.

Imagine if we all did those things. Imagine if we used our influence to bring light and understanding and peace to the world. We can do it one person at a time. Truly we all have the God-given power to be a force for good. I know it.

Now is the time to speak up for love and peace, not hate and violence, which is spreading all too quickly and furiously throughout our land. God will win this war of hate amongst His children, and we must help Him, whether it is by standing in peaceful protests, speaking up on social media, signing petitions, seeking reform, or talking to family and friends who have their own racial biases.

I feel so strongly that white people especially need to take a stand and join forces hand in hand with our black brothers and sisters, not just privately, but publicly. Let the world know that racism cannot and will not be tolerated any longer. If we do this, we can bring hope and lasting change. Perhaps less will feel like their only option is to loot, burn, and violently protest to get their message across. It’s a travesty that anyone should ever feel that way because it is not the answer – it only spreads more hate and creates more division. Hopefully we are waking up to the reality, and will use our words, influence, deeds, and hearts to help those who feel oppressed and afraid to feel only safety, joy, and fairness.

I stand with you wholeheartedly, my black friends and neighbors. I truly believe and know that Black Lives Matter.

************************************************************************

You may wish to read other posts I have read about this topic. Please share any and all that speak to you. Thank you for reading and for your support.

https://ablisscomplete.com/what-do-we-do/

https://ablisscomplete.com/a-message-for-our-day/
June 1, 2020