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  • All my love always, Betsy

    I see at my dad a lot, so he doesn’t call me very often. He did today, though, at 11:08 AM. He proceeded to tell me something I never expected to hear: that my Aunt Betsy, his youngest sister, had passed away.

    When he told me, I was really surprised. I knew that she had a lot of health problems, such as symptomatic cirrhosis and hypo/hyper insomnia, but we had literally just seen her on December 27, not even two weeks ago. 

    I was so sorry to hear that she was gone, but mostly for my dad. I know he and Betsy had a very special relationship. 

    We talked about what a blessing it was that we were able to see her before she died, and also that we know that she is okay. We know she is in no pain. We know that she is happy. We know that she is safe. We know we will see her again.

    I told my dad I loved him and that I would help in any way I could. 

    It has been several hours since he called, and only now, at 3 in the afternoon, after I am at home and my kids are finally napping, is it hitting me. 

    I am really sad that Betsy is gone. The tears have come to me, and the grief.

    Over the years we have actually rarely seen Betsy. She hasn’t been a huge part of my life, at least in person. Up until a couple weeks ago, I don’t think I had seen her since I graduated from high school in 2002.

    However, she has become very special to me, especially this year as she has taken a loving interest in my family. She has been one of my most devoted Facebook followers. She has almost always commented on my pictures, read my blog posts, and sent me messages asking how my family and I were doing. 

    We talked a lot about faith too. Betsy was definitely a woman of God. I always felt uplifted talking to her. 

    I was just reading through some of the Facebook messages she has sent me since 2009, and I want to post some of the things she said. It might help you see what a wonderful woman she was:

    8/4/09 (Her first message to me) – Uh, Color Me a Little Blonde (and stupid)!!!
    Was going through facebook today and it occured to me as I was going through my “new friends request” that it was you that emailed some time ago and asked to be added!  Believe it or not, I did not remember that your last name was Lewis, so I never linked the 2 names together.  Boy do I feel stupid!  


    Meanwhile, I hope you visit with your friend was/is (not sure how long the stay was scheduled for) going well and that you learned even more about each other and that Casey enjoyed the visit just as well!  Give the little guy a big kiss and the rest of the family all of my love and best wishes!


    Love you all!
    Betsy

    8/8/09 (Here she is actually talking about a relationship I was in at the time) – I am so happy for you!  With all that you have to give (beauty, brains and a very loving heart), it was just a matter of time before you finally found the man that you deserve!  Meanwhile, I will be awaiting my invitation!!! You have a nice weekend too, and give the little man a big hug from me please!  And, once again, I am just so happy for you!  I wish you could see the great big smile I am wearing right now!

    8/10/09 – Hopefully, this New Year will be the beginning of the life you and Casey deserve and were  meant to live! Thanks for giving Casey my hug!  Now I’m sending one to you out of pure joy and happiness!

    8/12/09 – Happy the-day-before Friday’s Eve!  (Me and my friends used to have all kinds of ways of celebrating each and every day of the week that coiuld include the word Friday!”  I’ll let you know others as they come to me… Believe it or not, as useless as they were, and for reasons I cannot explain, they always made Friday appear so much more spectacular in the neighborhood!  LOL!  Hope the rest of your week is well!

    2/28/10 (This is right after Jad and I got engaged) – My first comment on the pending nuptuals…I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU, MANDY, AND FOR CASEY TOO!  You make a very beautiful couple!!  

    3/16/10 (This is not long after Jad and I got married) – I shall write a bit more down the road!  Wouldn’t dream of taking away one extra minute from your honeymoon phase!!!  After that, you are hereby required to provide details!!!!!  LOL!!!

    3/10/12 (This was a few months after Jad’s liver surgery) – With every passing day that I get the pleasure of seeing you on my screen, I am reminded just how stunningly beautiful you are!  I hope the family is well, and that Jad has gotten past the bumps in the road since his surgery!  Love you, Betsy

    4/22/14 – I wish we chatted more.  I read your posts all of the time, but figure you have enough to do to read too many comments.  I do try to always “like” them though.  

    5/6/14 – Believe it or not, I was there when you were born. and I was there for your first Birthday!  Your parents probably do not remember all of this, but these were very significant days in my life and watching over you and Aaron when you were so small meant the world to me!  It touches my heart deeply as you go through these experiences with your own children!  Again, I hold you high, Mandy!  You are a fine woman indeed!

    5/28/14 –  I just had to drop you a note to tell you what I ran across today…the booklet from your High School Graduation Ceremony.  If you think about it, the date on that goes against all things in time.  You graduated from High School year before last, and then there was that college thing, and then you had three very different sized triplet boys last year, and I turned 30 last month!  Hum…  LOL!  Had to share!  Time sure does fly!  … I only hope I am around to watch you smiling that way when you start having grandchildren and great grandchildren!… I am like a cat!  Nine lives and then some! 

    7/23/14 –  I will never be able to work again as long as I am alive.  But, I do not want you to feel sorry for me.  I was blessed enough to work at my life’s dream profession for 13 years and never had a bad day at work in my life!  

    11/8/14 – As must share on “Are You There God?”  Not to long ago, I was having trouble with my blood pressure and I was alone.  I knew that my blood pressure machine needed batteries, but I needed to go to the drugstore to get my medication.  As I grabbed my keys and wallet (and my dog, of course), I felt this horrible tightness in my chest and did not know if I was safe to drive.  I came back in the house, laid flat on my bed with my blood pressure machine and asked God to give me just one more reading out of those batteries so that I would know what to do!  Well you know he answered my prayer and I got my reading!  That how awesome our God is!  But, the best part was when I tried to take it again.  The battery light flashed at me like a neon sign!  I looked up to the Heaven’s and spoke to God and started giggling a little bit, and said, you are not only an awesome God, you have a pretty good sense of humor too!  The tightness in my chest subsided a bit and I felt safe enough to go get my medication, and even went McDonald’s to get my baby her favorites:  Chicken Nuggets and an ice cream cone!  How does one go through life with all that evidence and not believe?  Meanwhile, you guys have a great time.  I love you.

    12/9/14 – after much consideration, prayer and thought, I have decided that while moving to Florida may very well contribute the “quality” of my life, the thought of maybe never seeing my Parents (I include Barb in this category for sure), my brothers, my nieces and nephews and the beautiful families that they have made together are just not worth me living maybe one extra year!  Your father and I are so much alike in so many ways, so I think you will understand that when my doctor told me that it was the best thing for me to do for my health, I immediately proceeded to do as I was told.  Made arrangements to move to Florida.  Well, at the end of the day, that is clearly not the right thing to do.  Without my loved ones, I have NO QUALITY of life,  Pain and side effects of various illnesses are something that I have been dealing with for a long, long time.  I can do that.  Leave Roy in Richmond with no one, leave everyone in NC, and maybe never see my Mom again?  I can’t do that! 

    12/11/14 – Enjoying you more and more each and every day!  I cannot put my emotions into words, but I sure do know how my heart feels.  Your life just changes when special people open their hearts whole-heartedly,  unconditionally and let you in! 

    12/30/14 – I just saw these pictures from the weekend.  I sure did have a good time!  And, I felt a million times better after I took that brace off of my stomach when me and your Dad got to the nursing home!  It makes me look pregnant, and is quite cumbersome.  It wraps around me like 2 and a half times!  You probably cannot tell where it is, but every third line in my shirt is one of the strips in the three, vertical layer brace.  All of the other pictures turned out great as well!  Looks like everybody had a great time!  And it especially looked like Grandma did some serious baking!  Yum!!!  I am so loving the baby feeding Aaron!  That is too sweet!  Good stuff!  Thanks for sharing!  Love you!

    1/1/15 (Her last message to me) – it was such joy, Mandy.  My heart was so full

    Not only was she loving, kind, funny, and encouraging, she also gave great advice on things like baking, sleep habits, and cross country road trips.

    Betsy was also so supportive of my blogging. On November 6, 2014, I asked my blog readers for input on a good subject to write about. Betsy was the only one who responded and she said this:

    WE have very little control over what happens in our life! But we are in charge of our Memories! Quit hanging on to the bad ones and take away everything positive that ever happened while you were being miserable. I am not going into detail, but I have a lot to be afraid of, people I should despise, blah, blah, blah. I still choose to only remember that they were in my life because I made that decision, and that is what I took with me when I walked away from the drama. The only memories I kept were the ones that I was fond of, and have even let some of them back into my life! Live today and every day differently than the one you lived yesterday! Otherwise, you have no chance to experience to experience something beautiful today, nor do you stand a chance for a better day tomorrow. I hope this helps you find a thought.

    This lovely comment from her sparked the idea for this blog post:

    http://makinglifeablisscomplete.blogspot.com/2014/11/let-memory-live-again.html?spref=fb

    After I posted it and thanked her for the inspiration, she lovingly remarked: 

    It was my pleasure! As I have said many times, in my life, I have experienced and witnessed a great deal of tragedy. Little did I know that they were the beginnings of some of my life’s greatest Blessings!

    So you see, though I don’t have a lot of memories physically being with my Aunt Betsy, she has been there for me for years. 

    On the ride home from my friend’s house today, Rigel spilled a lot of crackers and raisins on the floor. As I was cleaning them up, I came across a bag. I looked inside, and in it were Mike and Ikes that my dad gave the kids the day we saw Betsy at the park, and more preciously, the Christmas card Betsy had given my family. 

    I saw it as a tender mercy from Heavenly Father that I would find the card on the day I found out she died. I am so grateful that I was able to read it and look at it again. She told me that day we saw her that she chose the card just for us, and knew it was the perfect card. 

    Betsy, I am grateful that I have your love always. I know you are still with us now, cheering us on, and watching over us. I know I will see you again. All my love always, my dear aunt. 

  • Christmas is all about a Gift

    I have been pondering a lot about gifts this Christmas season. That is the first thing many of us do once Thanksgiving comes to a close – we frantically start looking for gifts to buy our loved ones. We spend the month of December shopping, buying, wrapping, and often stressing.
    I personally have been spoiled with gifts for myself and my family this month. We have been receiving gifts for the past 12 days from secret “Jolly Friends.” We have also received an abundance of candy, cookies and fudge from other friends.
    It feels good to get gifts because it shows that people love us, care about us, and appreciate us.
    I feel good giving gifts too. I have baked, my husband has made white stockings, we have written Christmas cards, printed up family pictures to share, and bought gifts that our kids and friends would enjoy.
     I also have been helping the poor quite a bit this season, and I appreciate all the help I have received from my friends in this effort. Knowing that you can help bring the necessities of life to someone is so rewarding, and helps you realize just how blessed you really are.
    Have you wondered why we give gifts at Christmas? Up until this year, I have always attributed it to the three wise men who gave the young Jesus gold, frankincense and myrrh.
    Some of us give gifts because that is what everyone talks about in December. That is what the stores are telling us to do, and that is what kids expect Santa to bring.
    Regardless of why we personally choose to give Christmas gifts, we put a lot of effort into making or buying them.
    For some of us, we use the time leading up to Christmas as a way to scare our kids into being good. Do we ever tell our kids they will only get their gifts, and Santa will only come if they are good? Do we tell them they have to earn their gifts, that they have to deserve them?
    I’ll admit I have often done that in the past, and it usually works, at least for a minute. I saw a quote on Facebook about a month ago, though, that stopped me in my tracks. I wish I could find it again, but in essence it said that we don’t give gifts to our children because they deserve them, but because we love them.
    It pierced my heart to read that. Telling my kids they don’t deserve gifts is like telling them they don’t deserve my love.
    Anything my kids do wrong, I probably do something else just as wrong. I am not anymore deserving of their love than they are of mine, yet we love each other just the same.
    What is even more humbling is that even though I, and you, and everyone, are imperfect and do things that aren’t right, we are always loved by the greatest of them all:
    “Your Heavenly Father loves you—each of you. That love never changes. It is not influenced by your appearance, by your possessions, or by the amount of money you have in your bank account. It is not changed by your talents and abilities. It is simply there. It is there for you when you are sad or happy, discouraged or hopeful. God’s love is there for you whether or not you feel you deserve love. It is simply always there.” – President Thomas S. Monson
     
     
    For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life (John 3:16).
    Why do we give gifts at Christmas? It isn’t because of the wise men or Santa. It is because Heavenly Father gave us each His son. Jesus Christ was the first Christmas gift.
    We may go through some years when we can’t afford to buy gifts for our children and other loved ones. It is hard and can be sad, but the truest most everlasting joy and cheer comes from remembering that little baby who was born in a stable, and laid in a manger.
    That baby grew up to teach a higher law, set an example of love, forgiveness, hope, service, and selflessness, suffer for the sins and pains of all mankind, die a painful death on the cross, and rise again glorious on the third day. Jesus lives, and He is in Heaven with His and our Heavenly Father.
    Jesus, like Heavenly Father, loves each of us unconditionally. He smiles when we smile and weeps when we weep. He is always our friend and advocate. He knows how we feel. He wants to bless us. He wants us to return to live with Heavenly Father again. He has provided the way.
    We may not always have tangible gifts tied with pretty paper and ribbons, but we will always have the everlasting gift of our Savior. He will bring us everlasting life if we but follow Him.
    Luke 2:6–7, The virgin Mary with baby Jesus
    Merry Christmas to all. May we always keep the spirit of Christ in our lives.

  • My Favorite Piece of Jewelry

    For Christmas this year, I asked my husband to get me something I already have. It’s a type of ring that has very special meaning to me. Recently I have felt a very strong desire to wear this ring, or one like it, every day of my life. No longer do I want to have to choose between wearing this ring and wearing other rings I love. I want to have two rings like this that will fit on different fingers.

    What kind of ring am I talking about? 
    The one I have now looks like this:
    It’s a simple looking ring, but it is so special to me. It isn’t special because of who gave it to me (I love you, Mom), or because it was very expensive, or even one of a kind. 

    It is special to me for a very different reason – wearing it helps remind me of the kind of person I want to be.

    The center of the ring is a shield, and in it are the letters CTR, which stand for Choose the Right. This means when faced with decisions, big or small, we will choose to do what Heavenly Father and Jesus would want us to do. 

    I have had a CTR ring since I was baptized a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints at 8 years old. All newly baptized children receive this exact ring:
    As a child, I often sang a song called “Choose the Right Way,” which reminded me of my the meaning of my CTR ring… Choose the right way, and be happy. I must always choose the right.

    The CTR logo was actually inspired from a different song that I love in my church, called “Choose the Right.” My favorite verse says:
    Choose the right! There is peace in righteous doing.
    Choose the right! There’s safety for the soul.
    Choose the right in all labors you’re pursuing;
    Let God and heaven be your goal.
    To me, the shield on the CTR ring represents a spiritual armor we choose to wear that provides us with safety from Satan’s influences. 
    Paul told the Ephesians to put on the whole armor of God. To him, the shield was of utmost importance:
    Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.

    It takes a lot of faith in God to make the right choices, even when they aren’t popular or easy. As the definition of good and right changes in society, we can look to God to retain the pure definitions. 

    An apostle from my church, L. Tom Perry, said something I truly believe: 

    There is power in a tie tack, a CTR ring, or a white dress hanging in the closet if we associate them with our desires for purity and righteousness. Even more important than physical reminders is to have the conviction deep down in our hearts to live the kind of life that will cause us to make the right choices, not only for peace and happiness in the world right now, but also for peace and happiness eternally.

    I have always associated my CTR ring with righteousness, but for some reason, now more than ever I have this conviction to do what is right. That doesn’t mean I don’t make mistakes (I make many), but I truly desire to do my best, and to help others find the light I have. I also have a greater desire to forgive and seek forgiveness  to serve others, and to make friends everywhere I go.

    This CTR ring is not just a representation of things I think are good, but my CTR ring has become a part of me. I don’t like being without it, just as I don’t like being without my wedding ring. They are a part of who I am, and sacred commitments I have promised to always keep. 

    Do you have jewelry that has special meaning for you?

  • You Aren’t Weird, but Your Beliefs Are Part 4 – What Mormons Believe

    In the last post I confirmed to you how I know that Joseph Smith was a prophet. In part, it was because he translated and brought forth The Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ.

    As a prophet, Joseph did so much more. He also received numerous revelations from Jesus himself. Christ gave him the absolute truth as to how His church was to be organized, and what His people must do to obtain eternal life.
    We know that Joseph was martyred at the young age of 38. Did prophets once again leave the earth, leaving us without answers? No, there have been many prophets called since Joseph Smith, and there are prophets and apostles on the earth today.
    Thomas S. Monson, President and Prophet of the LDS Church
    The members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints believe that prophets speak directly to Christ, and receive counsel and instruction from Him for the benefit of His people, and for the world. That is why we love, sustain, and follow the counsels of the Lord’s prophets and apostles.
    That is also one of the reasons why we so look forward to General Conference twice a year.
    One of our church’s Articles of Faith is: We believe all that God has revealed, all that He does now reveal, and we believe that He will yet reveal many great and important things pertaining to the kingdom of God.
    Yes, God is still speaking, and will continue to speak and give instruction until He comes again.
    All of the doctrines, beliefs and practices in the LDS church come from this revelation to the Lord’s prophets. I think I owe each of you the answers to the questions I asked in Part 2 of this blog series.
    As you read the answers I write, imagine that there are prophets on the earth, and they are in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. If this is true, the answers below are the absolute truth as prescribed by Jesus Christ.
    The Commandments:
    1. Keep the Sabbath Day holy (Exodus 20:8) – The Sabbath Day is the Lord’s Day. We should attend church, yes, but we should also make the Sabbath a day of rest, a day of service, and a day of spiritual feasting. We should avoid causing others to have to work on the Lord’s day.
    2. Be baptized of water and of the Spirit (John 3:5) –
    a. Baptism of water: Baptism is essential to enter into the kingdom of God, as it shows our commitment to keeping God’s commandments and trying to become like Him. It must be done by someone with priesthood authority. Baptism must be done by immersion. Babies and young children do not sin and do not need to be baptized. Only when they reach the age of eight or older are they tempted by Satan and sufficiently know the difference between right and wrong.
    b. Baptism of the spirit: This means receiving the Gift of the Holy Ghost, an ordinance performed by the laying on of hands by one with priesthood authority. Once baptized, one receives this gift, which is a constant companionship of the Holy Ghost, dependent on one’s faithfulness.
    c. Baptism for the dead: Baptisms for the dead were performed during Paul’s time, and are done in the LDS church in temples. Since all people must be baptized to be saved, baptisms by proxy give the deceased an opportunity to have that saving ordinance, and then choose to take upon them the name of Christ.
    3. Do not commit adultery and flee fornication (Exodus 20:14, Matthew 5:28, 1 Corinthians 6:18) – It is still a commandment to remain sexually pure until marriage, and then to maintain full loyalty to your spouse after marriage.
    4. Love one another (John 13:34)- Love one another means that we are kind, tolerant and nonjudgmental, and that we serve others. It does not mean that we condone or advocate for sinful behavior. Loving God means keeping His commandments. We should never purposely break commandments, or encourage others to break commandments in the name of loving one another.
    5. Let your light so shine (Matthew 5:14-16) – We should set good examples, and also share the gospel of Christ with others. Those of us who have been baptized have covenanted to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things and in all places. We should defend our beliefs, and declare them in love.
    6. Throw away the things that make you sin  (Matthew 5:29-30)- The abominations spoken of in the Bible are still abominations to Christ. His higher law is still valid today. Modern day prophets have revealed to us the Lord’s will regarding what is and is not sin as new technologies and practices are created. The definition of sin is not based on society’s acceptance of any practice.
    7. Pray to the father (Matthew 6:5-13)- You should pray to Heavenly Father in the name of Jesus Christ. There is nobody else that you should pray to. Prayers should be done as a family and individually morning, night, and before meals. Prayers can be said aloud or in silence. They can be said anytime, anywhere. There are no prayers that need to be recited, except for prayers done for sacred ordinances, such as the Sacrament or baptism. Heavenly Father wants us to speak from the heart in sincere prayer. He wants us to talk to Him, to thank Him for our blessings, tell Him our fears, and ask Him questions.
    8. Partake of Christ’s body and blood in remembrance of Him (Luke 22:19-20) – When partaking of the emblems, you are not literally eating and drinking Christ’s body and blood. It is symbolic. When you partake, you are promising to remember Christ always. It does not matter what is used for the emblems, so long as you remember Christ. Mormons use bread and water. The emblems should be blessed and passed by those having priesthood authority. Only those who are worthy should partake.
    The Doctrines:
    1. The truthfulness of the Bible – The Bible is holy and true. It contains the word of God as given to His prophets and apostles. The Bible is one book with the word of God. The Book of Mormon is also the word of God, and the Lord still speaks truths to prophets today to bring peace and clarity in a changing, and increasingly wicked, world.
    2. The nature of God – Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ and the Holy Ghost are three separate and distinct beings. Heavenly Father and Jesus have bodies of flesh and bone, while the Holy Ghost is a spirit. They are all one in purpose and mission, and they all love us, but they are not one being.
    3. Salvation – The Lord commands that we follow Him and be baptized in His name. However, to be saved, this is not all we must do. When we make mistakes, we must repent. We must also keep God’s commandments, and work hard to become more like Him in word and in deed throughout our lives.
    4. The Second Coming – Jesus will come again in power and great glory. Nobody knows when it will happen. When He comes, the righteous will be caught up to meet Him.
    5. Life after death – When a person dies, his body and soul separate. Only little children who die will go straight to Heaven. Everyone else will go to the Spirit World to await the Lord’s second coming, the resurrection, and final judgment. Instruction occurs in the Spirit World. Those who did not have a chance to learn about Jesus Christ and His gospel will be taught it, and be given the opportunity to accept Him. After the final judgment, the Lord will assign each of us to a kingdom of glory in Heaven based on our faithfulness, or to Outer Darkness for the most wicked. Paul saw a third Heaven because there are three degrees of glory in Heaven (the many mansions Jesus spoke of).
    6. The priesthood – The priesthood is the authority to act in God’s name on the earth. Worthy males may be ordained to the priesthood, and receive it through the laying on of hands.
    Though not everyone holds the priesthood, everyone is blessed by it.
    The Practices:
    1. Abortion – Human life is a sacred gift. Abortion should not be promoted or encouraged. In most cases it is a practice contrary to the will of God, and is only acceptable in the rarest of circumstances. Even in cases when deemed acceptable, counseling and prayer should precede the decision to have one.
    2. Suicide and Euthanasia – Because of the sanctity of human life, suicide and euthanasia are both wrong. However, in the case of suicide, only the Lord can judge if a person is responsible for his/her actions.
    3. Contraception – Husbands and wives who are physically able have the privilege and responsibility to have children and rear them in righteousness. However, it is up to the spouses to determine when they wish to have children and how many they wish to have. Birth control is not discouraged, so long as children are not being postponed for selfish reasons.
    4. Death penalty – This is a matter that should be decided by civil law.
    5. War and military service – Peace is always the ideal. However, sometimes war is necessary to preserve life, liberty, and family. Citizen should follow the laws of the land regarding war.
    6. Eating of meat – For health reasons, meat should be eaten sparingly, but it is not wrong to eat it. In fact, animals were created for the use of humans, for food and for clothing.
    7. Marriage – The family is central to Heavenly Father’s plan. All children deserve to be born in a family with a mother and a father, and marriage should be between a man and a woman. Priests are not forbidden to marry.
    8. Divorce – Marriages are sacred contracts, and should not be taken lightly. Divorce, though not encouraged, is sometimes a necessary action. One who is divorced is able to remarry, and still remain in full fellowship in the church.
    As you read these answers, some may have made perfect sense to you, though you didn’t have a previous stance. Some you may already agree with because you have also been taught it. Others you may totally disagree with because of political/social views. There may be some that you just don’t understand or think are too complicated.
    Mormons feel very strongly about the safety and peace that comes from following the prophet. If prophets truly do speak to the Lord, then they will always convey the Lord’s will and truths. However, it is not always easy to understand or accept all doctrines and practices.
    That is where faith comes in. Heavenly Father has given us free agency. The truth is revealed, but it is up to each individual person to exercise faith in that truth, and find out through study and prayer if it be right. Nobody in the LDS faith is forced to do anything. Everyone is encouraged to build their own convictions, and doubts and questions are normal.
    I am grateful to have choice, but also to know the consequences of actions I may take and positions I may hold.
    I don’t understand everything, but little by little, my faith and testimony grow as I am prepared and willing to receive more light and knowledge.
    I have a strong testimony that Heavenly Father and Jesus love us. They love me and they love each of you. They wish for everyone to have eternal life. All we must do is follow the doctrines and commandments that Jesus has set forth.
    I share the gospel as I know it so passionately and lovingly because it means the world to me, and I am such a better person because of it. I would love to clarify anything I have written about thus far, or talk about something you have heard about Mormons that I haven’t addressed. I am here to help.
    I am a Christian and a disciple of Christ.

     

  • You Aren’t Weird, but Your Beliefs Are Part 3: How I Know Joseph Smith was a Prophet

    In my last post I left you with an image of a 14-year-old farm boy who prayed and saw a vision of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ Himself told Joseph that His church did not exist on the earth and not to join any of the existing churches.

    This boy would be prepared to become a prophet of God, and restore Jesus Christ’s church to the earth -the church He established when He was on the earth – a living church, with continuing revelation for the benefit of all mankind.

     

    God has always called prophets in his own due time to testify of Jesus Christ and His gospel, to help people  know God’s true character, and to denounce sin, warning of its consequences.

    The Lord has said to beware of false prophets. That is what I hear most often when people tell me that Joseph Smith couldn’t have been a prophet. It is true that there have been and will be false prophets on the earth. There are now. Jesus tells us how to know if one is a false prophet (Matthew 7:15-20):

    Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves. Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles? Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit.  A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit. Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire. Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them.
     Notice where Christ says a corrupt tree cannot bring forth good fruit. To know if Joseph Smith was a false prophet (a corrupt tree), we must look at his fruits. What was he like? What did he do from the day of his vision at 14 years old to the day of his martyrdom when he was only 38?
    First and foremost, regardless of intense persecution from prominent religious leaders, peers and members of his community, Joseph never once denied that he had seen a vision. He wrote:
    It caused me serious reflection then, and often has since, how very strange it was that an obscure boy, of a little over fourteen years of age, and one, too, who was doomed to the necessity of obtaining a scanty maintenance by his daily labor, should be thought a character of sufficient importance to attract the attention of the great ones of the most popular sects of the day, and in a manner to create in them a spirit of the most bitter persecution and reviling. But strange or not, so it was, and it was often the cause of great sorrow to myself.

    However, it was nevertheless a fact that I had beheld a vision. I have thought since, that I felt much like Paul, when he made his defense before King Agrippa, and related the account of the vision he had when he saw a light, and heard a voice; but still there were but few who believed him; some said he was dishonest, others said he was mad; and he was ridiculed and reviled. But all this did not destroy the reality of his vision. He had seen a vision, he knew he had, and all the persecution under heaven could not make it otherwise; and though they should persecute him unto death, yet he knew, and would know to his latest breath, that he had both seen a light and heard a voice speaking unto him, and all the world could not make him think or believe otherwise.
    So it was with me. I had actually seen a light, and in the midst of that light I saw two Personages, and they did in reality speak to me; and though I was hated and persecuted for saying that I had seen a vision, yet it was true; and while they were persecuting me, reviling me, and speaking all manner of evil against me falsely for so saying, I was led to say in my heart: Why persecute me for telling the truth? I have actually seen a vision; and who am I that I can withstand God, or why does the world think to make me deny what I have actually seen? For I had seen a vision; I knew it, and I knew that God knew it, and I could not deny it, neither dared I do it; at least I knew that by so doing I would offend God, and come under condemnation (Joseph Smith – History 1:23-25).
    This persecution would only get more hateful and severe as the years went on, including being tarred and feathered, unjustly imprisoned more than once, and finally martyred (along with his beloved brother, Hyrum) by a mob of over a hundred men. This isn’t to mention the devastating persecution that the early members of the church would endure, such as being forced to leave their homes or die. My heart aches whenever I read about the awful treatment of these peaceful people just trying to follow God’s will.

    Just as the original members of the church knew it, I know that Joseph Smith was a prophet. I just know it. I could talk to you about his character, about the people who loved him, about his faith in Jesus Christ to the end, about the legacy he has left, and I could never adequately describe how I know he is a prophet – how he must have been a prophet.

    The most compelling reason I can give you as to how I know Joseph was a prophet of God, is that  I know that the Book of Mormon is true.

    The Book of Mormon
    I know that many of you have heard of the Book of Mormon. I have heard some of the things people think about it. People assume that Joseph Smith wrote it, and that Mormons use it instead of the Bible.

    What if I told you he didn’t write it? Joseph Smith was not an educated man. He was in his early 20s when he translated the book. The Book of Mormon is 531 pages. If he wrote it, he wrote it in less than three months, at a rate of about 10 pages a day – ten times faster than a professional translator copying down text already written.

    I believe as Joseph Smith said, that an angel, named Moroni, appeared to him and told him where an ancient record, written on gold plates, was buried. These plates were written by prophets living in ancient America from 600 B.C. to around 400 A.D. Joseph was given sacred instruments to aid him in the translation of the records.

     

    It is easy to find fault in this story, and call it unrealistic. However, look inside your hearts and think about what you know from the Bible. Think about the workings of the Lord – angels appearing, sacred instruments – is that so out of the ordinary?

    There were also many witnesses who saw and touched the gold plates, whose testimonies are in the beginning of The Book of Mormon. Joseph also had help translating. Many would serve as scribes to his translation, such as his wife, Emma, and Oliver Cowdery.

     

     I also recognize that many Christians believe that God is done speaking, that the last messages came from the 12 apostles, and that the only written holy records are in the Bible.

    The best way to answer this concern is in a passage from the Book of Mormon where Jesus himself said (2 Nephi 29:7-11):

    7 Know ye not that there are more nations than one? Know ye not that I, the Lord your God, have created all men, and that I remember those who are upon the isles of the sea; and that I rule in the heavens above and in the earth beneath; and I bring forth my word unto the children of men, yea, even upon all the nations of the earth?

    8 Wherefore murmur ye, because that ye shall receive more of my word? Know ye not that the testimony of two nations is a witness unto you that I am God, that I remember one nation like unto another? Wherefore, I speak the same words unto one nation like unto another. And when the two nations shall run together the testimony of the two nations shall run together also.

    9 And I do this that I may prove unto many that I am the same yesterday, today, and forever; and that I speak forth my words according to mine own pleasure. And because that I have spoken one word ye need not suppose that I cannot speak another; for my work is not yet finished; neither shall it be until the end of man, neither from that time henceforth and forever.

    10 Wherefore, because that ye have a Bible ye need not suppose that it contains all my words; neither need ye suppose that I have not caused more to be written.

    11 For I command all men, both in the east and in the west, and in the north, and in the south, and in the islands of the sea, that they shall write the words which I speak unto them; for out of the books which shall be written I will judge the world, every man according to their works, according to that which is written.


     

    It makes so much sense to me, and offers me so much comfort, that Jesus loves all people in every nation, and that He wishes all of them to have the Truth.

    The Book of Mormon does not replace the Bible. It is a book meant to complement the Bible. It is a book meant to prove that the Bible is true! It is a book meant to prove to the world that Jesus is the Christ.

    Joseph Smith, if he were the fraud that people say he was, could not have written a book like this – a book where over half of the verses refer to Jesus Christ; a book filled with heroes and prophets who showed courage, faith, love, service, obedience and integrity; a book that brings clarity to the messages of the Bible;  a book that makes its humble reader feel closer to Christ.

     

     Did you know that in the Book of Mormon, the resurrected Jesus Christ visits the people of the Americas? Did you know that He lets every person touch His hands and His feet, blesses each and every child, heals every person with an infirmity, teaches the same gospel He taught to the Israelites, and ordains 12 apostles to preach His word and carry the authority to act in His name?

    With tears in my eyes, I ask you, would a false prophet, a wolf in sheep’s clothing, bring forth a book like this?

     Would he be able to write this? 2 Nephi 25:23, 26
    23 For we labor diligently to write, to persuade our children, and also our brethren, to believe in Christ, and to be reconciled to God; for we know that it is by grace that we are saved, after all we can do.
    26 And we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ, and we write according to our prophecies, that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins.
     Or this? Mosiah 2:17
    And behold, I tell you these things that ye may learn wisdom; that ye may learn that when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God.
     Or this? Ether 12:27
    And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.
    I could quote hundreds of passages that are just as spiritually fulfilling as these.
    However, I know that I cannot prove to you that The Book of Mormon is true. The prophet Moroni, the one who appeared to Joseph Smith, also knew this. That is why he provided a promise to those who read the Book of Mormon (Moroni 10:3-5):
    3 Behold, I would exhort you that when ye shall read these things, if it be wisdom in God that ye should read them, that ye would remember how merciful the Lord hath been unto the children of men, from the creation of Adam even down until the time that ye shall receive these things, and ponder it in your hearts.
    4 And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.
    5 And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things.

    In the introduction to The Book of Mormon are these words:

    Those who gain this divine witness from the Holy Spirit will also come to know by the same power that Jesus Christ is the Savior of the world, that Joseph Smith is His revelator and prophet in these last days, and that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the Lord’s kingdom once again established on the earth, preparatory to the Second Coming of the Messiah.

    I have prayed, and I have received an answer that this book is the word of God, and truly is another testament of Jesus Christ. I have read it many times, and will continue to read it throughout my life, to enlarge my heart and nourish my soul.

    If you aren’t quite convinced you want to read The Book of Mormon, will you please watch this short video clip? Each time I watch it, I feel the Spirit testify truth to me. If nothing else, perhaps it will open your heart to want to find out for yourself.

    I am so grateful that Joseph Smith asked a question, and that he was willing to do what the Lord commanded him upon receiving the answer. He dedicated the remainder of his life to serving the Lord, and restoring His church to the earth. His life and death were not in vain, and he was most certainly not a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

    He was a true prophet of God.

  • You Aren’t Weird, but Your Beliefs Are Part 2: Why Are There So Many Churches?

    Have you ever wondered why there are so many Christian churches? Has that ever bothered you? Why would that be anyway? All Christians have access to the Bible. All (well, most) Christians believe in the divinity of Jesus Christ and accept Him as their Savior; yet, there are countless denominations, and even non-denominations.

    light-of-the-world-jesus-christ-1301483-gallery

    Some of you may say that it doesn’t matter which Christian church you go to, or what doctrines it teaches, because all that matters is loving Jesus and being kind to others. The rest is up to your personal feelings.

    The two greatest commandments are in fact to love God with all your heart, mind, might and strength, and also to love your neighbor as yourself.

    However, Jesus said that if we love Him, we will keep his commandments. Which commandments is he talking about? There are the ten commandments, of course, and the higher law for those commandments. There are also countless others.

    Do all Christians keep all the commandments? Do they agree on how to keep those commandments? Are there any Christians out there who think some commandments are outdated? Here are some examples of commandments Christians churches follow/don’t follow differently:

    1. Keep the Sabbath Day holy (Exodus 20:8) – Does this just mean go to church? Does this just mean think about Jesus more? Does it mean that you spend the whole day a little differently than every other day? Is this commandment even valid anymore?

    2. Be baptized of water and of the Spirit (John 3:5) – What age should people be baptized? Do little children need to be baptized? Should baptism be done by sprinkling or by immersion? What must we do to be worthy of baptism? Who has the authority to baptize? How does one get baptized of the Spirit? Is baptism really even necessary for salvation? What was Paul talking about when he spoke of baptism for the dead?

     

     

    3. Do not commit adultery and flee fornication (Exodus 20:14, Matthew 5:28, 1 Corinthians 6:18) – Most Christians agree on not committing adultery, but what about fornication? It has become more and more common for Christian people to live together and engage in sexual relations before marriage. Is this an outdated commandment, or is it still valid?

    4. Love one another (John 13:34)- This one should be easy, but it isn’t. Does ‘love one another’ mean that we accept all behaviors around us, even if we don’t believe in them? Can we still love one another but not agree or condone or vote for causes that go against our beliefs, or does that mean we don’t love our neighbor? Does this commandment trump keeping the other commandments God has set?

    5. Let your light so shine (Matthew 5:14-16) – Does this just mean that we are good people, or does this mean that we share the gospel of Christ with others? Should we be vocal about our beliefs, or be quiet about them so as not to offend those who do not share our beliefs?

    6. Throw away the things that make you sin  (Matthew 5:29-30)- Well, what things are sins? Does the definition of sin change as times change or are all the abominations spoken of in scripture still abominations?

    7. Pray to the father (Matthew 6:5-13)- Should we only pray to the Father, or is it also acceptable and encouraged to pray to Mary? How often should we pray, and should we recite prayers, or speak from the heart?

    8. Partake of Christ’s body and blood in remembrance of Him (Luke 22:19-20) – Are we literally partaking of Christ’s body and blood, or is it symbolic? What are we promising to do when we do this? How often must we do this, and does it matter what we use as representation of the body and blood? How should the body and blood be blessed and passed?

     

    Each of these commandments, and many, many others, are interpreted and kept in diverse ways in the hundreds of Christian denominations in the world. It is not only the commandments, but also doctrines which are disagreed upon. Here are just a few of the doctrines that Christians do not agree upon:

    1. The truthfulness of the Bible – Is it inerrant, or is it just a book full of good ideas? Does it tell us everything we need to know, or are some parts no longer relevant due to the changes in the world? Did all the Bible stories actually happen, or are they just ways to teach us a message?

    2. The nature of God – Are God, Jesus and the Holy Ghost three separate beings or one being? Does God have a body or not?

    3. Salvation – If we accept Jesus and are baptized, are we guaranteed salvation, or can we lose it based on our deeds? Do we have to keep the faith? Do our works help us be saved? How does repentance work? How do we know if we are forgiven, or are we just automatically forgiven?

    4. The Second Coming – Is it going to happen? Will there be a rapture? What will happen if Christ comes again?

     

    5. Life after death – Will we really be resurrected? Do people go straight to Heaven or Hell after death, or is there a resting place before the final judgment? Is there even a Hell at all? Will everyone who didn’t accept Jesus on this earth go to Hell? What is the third Heaven that Paul saw?

    6. The priesthood – What is the priesthood? Are there guidelines as to who should be ordained to the priesthood? How is one conferred the priesthood? What does one with the priesthood do?

     

    It is true that there are many  doctrines that Christians generally agree on, such as the divinity of Christ, that he was born of a virgin, that he lived on earth and died for our sins, and was resurrected. These other doctrines are essential to know, however, because our understanding of them can completely change the way we live, how we interpret scripture, and how our churches function.

    Even in the early days of Christianity, Paul chastised the people for moving away from the doctrines of Christ. He said to the Galatians (1:1-6):

    I marvel that ye are so soon removed from him that called you into the grace of Christ unto another gospel: Which is not another; but there be some that trouble you, and would pervert the gospel of Christ. But though we, or an angel from heaven, preach any other gospel unto you than that which we have preached unto you, let him be accursed. As we said before, so say I now again, If any man preach any other gospel unto you than that ye have received, let him be accursed. For do I now persuade men, or God? or do I seek to please men? for if I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ. But I certify you, brethren, that the gospel which was preached of me is not after man. For I neither received it of man, neither was I taught it, but by the revelation of Jesus Christ.

     

    Unfortunately, I have only begun to scratch the surface of the differences in Christian denominations. Some other differences are how Christians feel about:

    1. Abortion – Even if we don’t agree with it, should we vote for it to be banned, or vote to give a woman choice?

    2. Suicide and Euthanasia – Is this the equivalent of murder or is it sometimes acceptable? Is it forgivable?

    3. Contraception – Is birth control always wrong to use, or is it okay in some or all circumstances? What kinds of contraception are acceptable?

    4. Death penalty – Is the killing of others for a crime committed ever justified? Should we be able to make that call?

    5. War and military service – Should war be avoided at all costs, or is it sometimes the right thing to do to defend our freedoms, lands, and families?

    6. Eating of meat – Is it murder to eat animal flesh, or is meat a gift from God for His children?

    7. Marriage – Should marriage be between only a man and a woman, or should any consenting adults be allowed to marry? Should priests remain celibate or be allowed to marry?

    8. Divorce – Is divorce ever acceptable? If one is divorced, can he/she remarry and remain part of the body of Christ?

    I am by no means the first person to realize the vast differences between Christian denominations. I read many articles discussing it. Most of these articles say that we should respect all Christians, regardless of disparity, and learn how to love each other. The people writing these articles usually also show sympathy that other Christians don’t know the full truth like they do.

     

    I totally agree that we should respect all Christians. However, look around. Do Christians really love and respect each other? Many do, yes. However, I am saddened at the flat out bashing and judging that goes on because of the differences Christians have. I read all the time where Christians call out other Christians and say they must not be true Christians, because Jesus wouldn’t think or do what they are thinking and doing.

    Most Christians believe they have the full truth, and they most closely follow the Lord, Jesus Christ. I fully and wholeheartedly believe there must be absolute truth in Christianity. There must be. All of the things we have discussed must have a true answer from God. He does have an answer for all the differing opinions of men and women. There is a pure doctrine. None of the doctrines I listed can be more than one way. There must be one answer. To be acceptable in the Lord’s eyes, we must keep his commandments as He intended for us to keep them. We must know the truth. How do we find it?

    The answer most commonly given amongst Christians is to use the Bible. Well, don’t most Christian denominations (and non-denominations) use the Bible? They definitely use it, and yet there are countless combinations of beliefs in Christianity. This doesn’t make sense. Don’t get me wrong –  I believe with all my heart that the Bible is true. Those who have a conviction of this are right.

     

    I have studied the Bible many times in my life, and it is a book I treasure. I know it is the word of God. To say there is not confusion, though, would be a lie. There are many verses in the Bible which are very difficult to comprehend, and many concepts are introduced but not elaborated upon. Have you ever come across a scripture you didn’t understand? The book of Revelation is incredibly difficult to fathom… there are many others as well.

    Did you know  there are over 100 English translations of the Bible? I definitely haven’t read all of these translations, but I do know from looking  at a few different ones that if you compare a scripture passage in different Bibles, often you will find that the meaning is not the same. Even more astonishing is that I have read interpretations of the same scripture from the same translation that didn’t match – in fact, they were opposites.

    An example of that is Luke 24:39:

    Behold my hands and my feet, that it is I myself: handle me, and see; for a spirit hath not flesh and bones, as ye see me have.

    I have seen religious articles that use this verse to prove that the resurrected Christ is a spirit, and in contrast, to prove that He has a body.

     There are also passages of scripture in the Bible that make perfect sense, but appear to be contradicted in other passages. Christian denominations tend to hold fast to a verse and make it part of doctrine, but do not always acknowledge the other verses that seem to say the opposite. Here are two examples of many:

    The Nature of God

    1. John 8:16-18, 28-29

    And yet if I judge, my judgment is true: for I am not alone, but I and the Father that sent me. It is also written in your law,
     that the testimony of two men is true. I am one that bear witness of myself, and the Father that sent me beareth witness of me.

    Then said Jesus unto them, When ye have lifted up the Son of man, then shall ye know that I am he, and that I do nothing of myself; but as my Father hath taught me, I speak these
     things. And he that sent me is with me: the Father hath not left me alone; for I do always those things that please him.

    2. John 1:1

    In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.

    The Means of Salvation

    1. James 2:20-26

    But wilt thou know, O vain man, that faith without works is dead? Was not Abraham our father justified by works, when he had offered Isaac his son upon the altar? Seest thou how faith wrought with his works, and by works was faith made perfect And the scripture was fulfilled which saith, Abraham believed God, and it was imputed unto him for righteousness: and he was called the Friend of God. Ye see then how that
    by works a man is justified, and not by faith only. Likewise also was not Rahab the harlot justified by works, when she had received the messengers, and had sent them out another way. For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also.

    2. Romans 10: 9 -10

    That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth
     unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.
    There are also many positions and practices amongst Christians of all faiths that are not mentioned in the Bible at all. Individuals and denominations have had to infer God’s will based on their interpretations of the Bible – e.g. contraception, abortion. Then there are things that are condemned in the Bible, but are thought by some to now be irrelevant due to changing times – e.g. chastity, modesty, divorce, traditional marriage. There are others, though, that hold strong to what the Bible says. Who is right?
    Yes, the Bible is true, but alone it has not brought Christians together in one Lord, one faith, one baptism (Ephesians 4:5).

    Here is a scripture verse I want you to consider in the same chapter of Ephesians (vs 11-15):

    And he gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers;

     For the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ:
    Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ:
    That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive;
    But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:

    Is Paul talking about himself and the other apostles following Christ’s resurrection? He could be, but most Christian religions strive to follow the words of these apostles as found in the New Testament. Nearly 2000 years later, Christians still do not have a unity of faith, and are nowhere near accomplishing it.

    I have done a lot of reading on what Christians believe about prophets. I have read articles where individuals really want to believe in prophets, and feel they are needed. They just don’t know where to find them.

    There is an even stronger conviction, though, that prophets no longer exist, that they were no longer called after the twelve original apostles died, and will never be called again. After Christ gave the higher law, and completed his work on the earth, He stopped speaking to the world. All of His word is in the Bible, and no other word is ever needed to help His children live Christ-like lives.
    For those of you who do believe there could be prophets, you might be worried about the Lord’s caution to beware of false prophets. Many Christians believe that because the Lord said that, that means all men professing to be prophets in these days must be frauds. That would especially be true if Christ no longer speaks, and there is no further revelation to bring forth.
    There are Christian churches that believe their spiritual leaders, though not prophets, do receive inspiration for interpreting God’s word as in the Bible. Thus, their interpretations would be the correct ones.
    We run back into the same question again: Which church is true, and how can we tell? Let me tell you a story of someone who had this question.

    In 1820, in Manchester, New York, a 14-year-old boy was looking for truth. In his town, the Methodist, Baptist and Presbyterian churches were promoting their religions, looking for followers. They were all very convincing, but spoke harshly of each other. They tried everything to denounce the other religions.

    This boy was a believer in God, and he wanted to align himself with one of these Christian faiths. He was overwhelmed, and uncertain of which church to join, as each church interpreted the Bible so differently. He said,

    What is to be done? Who of all these parties are right; or, are they all wrong together? If any one of them be right, which is it, and how shall I know it?

    This boy started looking for an answer. One night, as he was studying his Bible, he found this verse in James 1:5-

    If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.


    This verse pierced him to the very soul, and he knew that if anyone needed wisdom from God, it was him. He decided that if James was right, he could receive his answer through prayer.

    Up until this point, the boy had never prayed vocally. He chose a beautiful, clear day in the Spring of that year to go out into the woods to pray aloud to God, and hopefully receive the answer he most desperately sought.

     

    The rest of the story is best told in his words:

    After I had retired to the place where I had previously designed to go, having looked around me, and finding myself alone, I kneeled down and began to offer up the desires of my heart to God. I had scarcely done so, when immediately I was seized upon by some power which entirely overcame me, and had such an astonishing influence over me as to bind my tongue so that I could not speak. Thick darkness gathered around me, and it seemed to me for a time as if I were doomed to sudden destruction.

     But, exerting all my powers to call upon God to deliver me out of the power of this enemy which had seized upon me, and at the very moment when I was ready to sink into despair and abandon myself to destruction—not to an imaginary ruin, but to the power of some actual being from the unseen world, who had such marvelous power as I had never before felt in any being—just at this moment of great alarm, I saw a pillar of light exactly over my head, above the brightness of the sun, which descended gradually until it fell upon me.
     It no sooner appeared than I found myself delivered from the enemy which held me bound. When the light rested upon me I saw two Personages, whose brightness and glory defy all description, standing above me in the air. One of them spake unto me, calling me by name and said, pointing to the other—This is My Beloved Son. Hear Him!


    My object in going to inquire of the Lord was to know which of all the sects was right, that I might know which to join. No sooner, therefore, did I get possession of myself, so as to be able to speak, than I asked the Personages who stood above me in the light, which of all the sects was right (for at this time it had never entered into my heart that all were wrong)—and which I should join.

    I was answered that I must join none of them, for they were all wrong; and the Personage who addressed me said that all their creeds were an abomination in his sight; that those professors were all corrupt; that: “they draw near to me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me, they teach for doctrines the commandments of men, having a form of godliness, but they deny the power thereof.

    My friends, this 14-year-old boy was Joseph Smith. He had a question and he asked of God. He asked with all the energy of his soul, yearning for an answer, willing to do what the Lord would ask of him. He received his answer – an answer he never expected, in a way he never would have dreamed. If Joseph, this poor, uneducated, farm boy, really did see God and Jesus Christ standing side by side, then Christianity could become one step closer to absolute truth, and to unity of faith, for the question of the nature of God was now answered. It was answered by Jesus Christ himself. I read through the most common Christian creeds, such as the Nicene Creed and the Apostolic Creed. They all claim the oneness of the Father, Son and Holy Ghost. If untrue, those statements would be an abomination in the eyes of Christ and His father, though unbeknownst to the devout followers of Christ who lived by them.

    If this vision really happened, it shows a love of God and Christ for all people on the earth, that they want all people to be united, to know the full truth as God intended, and to bring forth  more knowledge to bring clarity, rather than continuous confusion.

    Joseph’s vision was not just for him. It would bring him great responsibility, as well as tremendous oppression and persecution for the remainder of his days. His name would be known for good and evil throughout the world, and still is to this day.

     

    Joseph Smith was called to be a prophet of God and to bring the fullness of Christ’s gospel to the world.

    This is the testimony of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and mine. I do not ask you to believe it; I just ask you to open your minds to the fact that there could be prophets on the earth today. I believe God is a loving God and He does not want us to live in confusion. Christians today live in confusion, and often worry about how to respond to an increasingly wicked, godless world. Christians are not yet united in faith. The world is not yet united in faith.
    May God bless you in your search for truth.

  • You Aren’t Weird, but Your Beliefs Are Part 1: My Life as a Mormon

    Many of my friends are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS church) just like me. However, I also have many treasured relationships with people not of my faith. For those of you who aren’t a part of my faith, but who know me well, you may have asked yourself at one time or another why I would be a part of such a religion. I know what people say about Mormons, and I know what preachers teach about them. You may have looked at me and thought, “Mandy is a smart, kind person. She has a good family life. I just don’t get how she is a member of such a church that believes such weird things.”

     I can appreciate that, and now,  I want to respond to this paradox by first telling you about my life as a Mormon.

    I was born to two parents who were both members of my church, so since birth, I have attended the LDS church. You may be interested to know, however, that my father joined the church in his early adulthood, while my mother grew up with parents who were members (though one of her parents also joined the church later in life).

    blessing day
    This is my mother and me when I was two months old, on the day my father gave me my baby blessing at church.

    My earliest memories of attending church include going to a wonderful place called Primary each Sunday, where we would sing songs about Jesus, prayer, Heaven, and sometimes even popcorn popping on the apricot tree. We learned lessons from teachers about many different things, such as prophets, families or the fact that we are all children of God. We, the kids, also sometimes got to go in front of the microphone and speak to the other kids about a topic like this. We had classes for our age groups, where we would learn scripture stories or ways to be more like Jesus. Primary was so much fun, but also helped me learn that I was special and that God loved me.

    baptism
    This is me on my eighth birthday right before my baptism.

    When I was eight years old I made the decision to be baptized a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. My dad baptized me. I remember him taking me out into the hallway to practice how he would put me under the water. I actually had to be baptized twice because my foot came up a little the first time. My dad was also the one who laid his hands on my head and gave me the gift of the Holy Ghost.  I remember feeling so happy that day, and enjoying the loving attention I got from family, teachers and friends for my decision.

    The next day in church, we sang a hymn called I Am a Child of God. I had sung it many times before in Primary. That day, though, as I sang it, tears fell gently down my face. I asked my mom why I was crying, and she said it was because I was feeling the Holy Ghost.

    As a member of the church, I grew up praying before each meal, as a family, and on my own before bed. We read our scriptures around the table every night after dinner. We did family nights called Family Home Evening, where my parents would teach us a gospel lesson and then we would do a fun activity, like the “tasting game,” and would sometimes have a dessert. We also loved celebrating holidays together. Dressing up for Halloween was always so much fun. We gave special focus, though, to Christmas and Easter, so we could not only have fun, but remember our Savior.

    mary and joseph
    My brother, Aaron, and I pretending to be Mary and Joseph.

    Our family had so much fun spending time together. Sure, we as kids annoyed each other, and we didn’t always listen to our parents. But, we loved each other and made family a priority. I have many fond memories of going to the movie store and getting ice cream, playing make believe, having “school” on the chalkboard, riding bikes, and going to Nana’s house.

     

    12
    This is 12-year-old me on my first Sunday as a Young Woman.

    When I turned 12, I no longer attended Primary. I started a new program, called Young Women. I was in that program until I turned 18. It was a program where I learned how to love myself and love my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. Each Sunday we would stand as a group and recite something called the Young Women Theme. In it, we spoke of our knowledge that we are daughters of God and that he loves us. We promised to stand as his witnesses at all times and in all things and in all places. Then we would recite values we promised as Young Women to live by. There were many, but some of my favorites were individual worth, choice and accountability, good works and integrity. Throughout all my years as a young woman, I did assignments, projects and activities to help me learn more about, appreciate, and act upon these upstanding values.

    This is me with a group of young women, dressed up to perform the Parable of the Good Samaritan.

    Each year all the girls from a large geographical area would come together at a girls’ camp. Girls’ Camp was one of my favorite times of year. We were each secret sisters, and would do nice things for another girl each day. We did many activities and lessons to help us learn how to take care of ourselves physically and spiritually. We ate great food. We got to know each other better. Most importantly, we felt closer to our Savior as we bore testimony of Him.

     

    jesus

     

    I remember one year we followed a path through the camp site. We stopped at different areas where someone would speak to us. I don’t remember what they said, but I remember the final destination –  a tent. Inside that tent was a picture of Jesus Christ. I remember tears streaming down my cheeks. I knew the man in that picture really was my Savior and Redeemer, and through Him, I could be clean, and I could stand have the strength to always stand up for what was right.

    Additionally, once a year from age 14-17, I went to something called Youth Conference, meant for Young Women and Young Men. For a few days, we would come together as a large geographical group and focus on our spirituality. I always loved this time of year too. I left loving Christ a little more, and having a greater desire to do good.

     

    yc
    My friend, Kate, took this picture of my in our dorm room our second year of youth conference at SVC, now SVU.

    During all four of my high school years, I attended a class called Seminary. It was held at 6AM each morning before school. Each year we studied different books of scripture. It sounds crazy to get up at 4:30 in the morning to go to a spiritual class, doesn’t it? Why not sleep in a little more? I can tell you that Seminary was one of the best things I ever did as a youth. I learned and grew so much. I understood the scriptures better, I felt a desire to do what was right, and I felt the Spirit on a daily basis. I will always be grateful to my Seminary teachers who worked so hard to  prepare those lessons for us, and teach them so early in the morning, when they too, could have been sleeping.

    As a child, we sang a song in Primary called I Love to See the Temple. I always loved that song, and in the Young Women program, we focused so much more on the temple. We learned that our decisions and our chosen paths should lead us to the temple. In the temple, we make covenants with God and receive instruction for our spiritual benefit. As a Young Woman, I knew that I wanted to be married in the temple, for marriages in the temple were not just until death do us part, but rather, for all eternity. I knew I wanted nothing less.

    washington-dc-temple-spring-1160328-gallery
    The Washington, DC Temple

    I have such special, spiritual memories of attending the temple as a Young Woman. We would go to the temple in Washington, D.C. as a group of youth and perform baptisms on behalf of those who had died without having that ordinance. The Spirit was always so strong there. I knew that was the Lord’s house and that we were blessing lives.

    All of the things I have mentioned helped ground me in the gospel of Christ. Life wasn’t always easy in middle school and high school, because my friends were doing things I knew to be wrong, whether legally or morally. I knew I was supposed to have integrity. I didn’t always make the right decisions, though. Sometimes I gave in to peer pressure, and sometimes I wasn’t completely honest about my faith for fear of rejection. However, I always knew deep down in my soul what was right and what was wrong, and what the Lord wanted from me and for me.

    grad
    My family and me at my high school graduation.

    As I graduated from high school and entered my adulthood, I felt spiritually prepared for what the world had in store. All those years of spiritual education and experience had given me great faith, and a conviction to remain a member of the LDS church even after I left my parents’ home and went off on my own.

    vegas
    Mom and Nana went with me out West to get me settled at SUU. This is us visiting Las Vegas for a day.

    About six months after high school, I left home to attend Southern Utah University. It wasn’t that difficult to stay an active member of the LDS church there, since so many people were members, but it was still an every day challenge to stand as a witness and keep God’s commandments. That challenge has never gone away, and never will.

    This is me with some of my college friends at a park in Cedar City in 2003.

    One thing that helped me stay a strong member of the church, without my parents, was becoming a member of  the world’s oldest and largest organization for women: the Relief Society. It is a place for sisterhood, charity,  faith-building, strengthening families, and  finding joy in our divine nature as daughters of God. Throughout the years, my love and appreciation for this great organization has increased, and my love for my fellow sisters has grown exponentially.

    dance
    A group of friends at a dance. My date later became my husband.

    While I was at school, I fell in love, and at age 19 and a half, I was married in the temple of God. The previous day I had made special covenants with the Lord in preparation for my marriage. Those two days I felt the Spirit of the Lord so strongly. I knew, as I had as a youth, that the temple was the house of the Lord. I knew that it was a sacred place, and I knew that if my husband and I stayed faithful, our marriage would last for eternity.

    Most of you know that my marriage did not last, for my husband did not stay faithful to the Lord. He did not put God and his family as a priority, but rather his own lusts. That was a very difficult time of life for me as a young divorcee and mother. However, I was able to get through it. It took me longer than it should have, and I know that is because I wallowed in self pity, and  I had forgotten the things I knew so well – that Heavenly Father loves me and knows my name. I am his daughter and he wants me to be happy. I can be happy and endure my trials if I pray to Him for help. My worth does not change as my circumstances change. Jesus Christ, who felt and suffered every sin, pain, sickness, and trial anyone on this earth would ever experience, can lift me up because He knows what I have been through. I always have a friend, and I am not alone. When I finally remembered and enveloped myself with these truths, and remembered that I was still so blessed, I was able to move on and be happy again with my little son.

    This is Casey and me in the fall of 2006.

    My marriage ended, but my membership in my church did not dwindle. My entire adult life I attended the LDS church every Sunday. I have never been one to skip church, and I can tell you that the times in my life when I have missed due to sickness, I have felt like something was missing. I have always longed to be there amongst my fellow brothers and sisters, to receive spiritual nourishment.

    There has only been one time in my life when I have questioned my faith. It was during a time when I put my own personal desires above God’s will, and above keeping His commandments. I was dating someone I shouldn’t have been dating, doing things I shouldn’t have been doing. I justified it by saying that I was sharing my faith with him, and that maybe he would join my church someday. You see, I still believed that marriage between and man and a woman was eternal. I still wanted to marry in the temple, but I couldn’t if I was dating someone not a member of my faith. Beyond that, he did not share in many of my values. I kept going on with it, though, because I was in love.

    One day, we were talking on the phone, and I was talking to him about my church. He suddenly threw out all these “facts” in my face, trying to prove that my church wasn’t true – that everything I had held dear my ENTIRE LIFE was a lie.

    I remember getting off the phone with him shaking. I could feel evil all around me,like a deep, dark cloud, and I wept. I can’t explain exactly how I felt, but it was definitely not the Holy Spirit. I truly questioned – is my church true? Is it?

    Through mighty prayer, reflection on my life, reflection on this person’s intentions, and reflection on my past and how my faith had guided me all those years, I learned what I already knew – that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is  and always will be true.

    I stayed a member, and I had to repent for sins I had committed. I had to get myself back on track. As I did that, and as I remembered what was truly important, the Lord brought Jad into my life, someone who just the year before had found his way into the LDS faith. He and I were married, and a year later, we were sealed in the temple. We know that if we are faithful throughout our lives, that our marriage and our family will be eternal.

    This is Jad, Casey and me on March 6, 2010, the day Jad and I were married.
    This is Jad, Rigel and me at the Raleigh, NC LDS Temple on March 12, 2011.

    We have been so blessed, and thank our Heavenly Father every day for all He does for us. Our lives are not perfect, though. In our family, we still have sickness, disagreements, financial trouble, etc., just like every other family.

    We do have a strong faith in Jesus Christ, and in the church we belong to. My oldest son, Casey has been the first of our children to make the decision to be baptized, a decision he is grateful for and finds joy in each day.

    This is Jad, Casey and me at our church on June 15, 2013, the day of Casey’s baptism.

    In the past few years I have made it a goal to share the gospel of Jesus Christ every day of my life. I strive to be a good example, a good friend, a good wife and mother, and a good missionary. I am stronger than ever in my faith.

    As a family, we do our Family Home Evenings, we study our scriptures, and we pray often. We have fun together, and show love for each other and our neighbors.

    This is my life. Does is sound weird? As I look at my life, maybe it is weird because I devote the vast majority of my life to my family and to Christ. The world around us tells us to follow self-serving pursuits, and do what feels good, what is comfortable, what is convenient. In that case, yes, I  and all the members of my church are indeed peculiar.

    You may be thinking, but what about your beliefs, though? Your life isn’t too weird, but some of your beliefs are.

    Think about this a bit, and I will talk about those beliefs and why they may not be so weird after all, in part two of this blog post. Much love!

  • One Step Enough for Me

    Last Saturday I went to Women’s Day, an annual event put on by my church, for women living in this area. Each sister that was there was able to sign up for three different classes of her choosing. I thoroughly enjoyed all of my classes, and am anxiously awaiting next year’s Women’s Day.In one of my classes, we learned about ways God speaks to us, how we receive the answers, how to recognize the answers, and what to do if we don’t think we have gotten an answer. It was such an uplifting class for me.

    As we went through these different points, my mind kept going back to a memory – an experience that happened to my family almost exactly a year ago. My husband had gotten a new job opportunity, which we felt was an answer to our prayers. We quickly realized, however, in just a short month’s time, that it was not the right path.

    For a while, we were confused. We thought we had received a spiritual prompting that Jad was supposed to take that retail management position.

    In class we talked about how sometimes we listen to our emotions, and assume it is the Holy Ghost speaking. I think in some ways this may have been the case with us. We didn’t do enough research on the job, and just blindly assumed everything would be  fine because we were so excited about the opportunity for change.

    In other ways, though, we really felt like the Lord brought that opportunity to Jad. He had been applying for jobs for years, and this was the first time he was contacted by a company (that wasn’t a sales company), was interviewed, and offered a job that fit his experience, with an ability for growth in the company.

    But it was the wrong decision, though…

    I learned a couple things in this class at Women’s Day that go along perfectly with this experience:

    The first is a quote by Elder Richard G. Scott, an apostle in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, who said, “When you are living righteously and are acting with trust, Go will not let you proceed too far without a warning impression if you have made the wrong decision”(Using the Supernal Gift of Prayer, Ensign, May 2007).

    It was true. Jad and I felt very strongly after his first day of work (after a month of training), that this job was not right. We felt prompted that he should quit. We thank the Lord for giving us that prompting, and giving Jad the strength to listen to it.

    So, why did the Spirit tell Jad to take the job if it wasn’t right? Well, we watched this beautiful video in  class called Wrong Roads, a true story from the life of Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, another apostle in my church. Watch the video for the full spiritual message, but in essence, he said that sometimes the Lord takes us in a direction that isn’t right so that we can quickly discern what is right.

    It’s true. We learned so quickly that retail was not the path Jad should go down. We stopped applying for retail manager jobs after that experience, and instead, researched different career paths Jad could take.

    We also learned other wonderful lessons from him taking and quitting that job, two of which were to be grateful for what we have, and to make more quality use of our time as a family.

    The lesson doesn’t end there, though. We learned which path wasn’t right, but it took us almost a year to find out which path was right. Why so long?

    Elder David A. Bednar, another apostle in my church, said something that makes it all make sense: “Most frequently, revelation comes in small increments over time and is granted according to our desire, worthiness, and preparation” (The Spirit of Revelation, Ensign, May 2011).

    Heavenly Father wants us to be patient, to trust Him, to keep His commandments, and to continue to pray to Him earnestly.

    He also wants us to do our own work and research. In modern scripture to Joseph Smith, the Lord said, “But behold, I say unto you, that you must study it out in your mind; then you must ask me if it be right, and if it is right I will cause that your bosom shall burn within you; therefore, you shall feel that it is right” (Doctrine and Covenants 9:8).

    Jad and I had to do all of these things, and when we were ready, Heavenly Father prompted Jad on the next steps in his career.

    Retail wasn’t the answer, and getting another Bachelor’s degree wasn’t the answer. The answer Jad received was to go into the IT profession, in the field of networking. He searched out schools, and felt at peace with My Computer Career.

    It was a leap of faith, though. It is an expensive school. We had to take out a hefty loan. He had to figure out how to go to school but still run his store, knowing that he would not stay there much longer. He had to deal with family disgruntlement and lack of support. He and I knew, though, this was the right choice.

    Jad  has now been attending My Computer Career for two weeks. This is going to be at least a one-year schooling journey. It has been hard – the information has been coming quickly, and is a bit overwhelming for him. He is home much less and it is affecting time with our kids, and  with us as a couple. We are both much busier than ever before.

    There is a difference this time, though. In contrast with his retail position where we never saw any light ahead of us, we definitely know in this case that the Lord is there and lighting our way.

    In a video entitled Patterns of Light: Spirit of Revelation, Elder Bednar talked about three different patterns of light we receive as we get revelation. As Jad is in school, I can see that our pattern is that of a foggy day. There is just a little light ahead of us. If we just keep taking a few steps, though, the light will help us see far enough ahead that we can continue to press forward.

    We can’t see the end result yet. We don’t know when Jad will get an IT job, where, how much money, how it will affect our lives, etc., but we trust the Lord wholeheartedly that he will guide us in the right direction. We are so excited to see where this path leads our family.

    If you would like to read all about Jad’s retail management journey from 2013, read below:

    Have you ever called someone a quitter who left a job
    instead of sticking it out? Have you ever seen a messy store and assumed it was
    because of lazy employees and management? Have you ever thought badly about
    someone because of what someone else tells you? Well, I have a very interesting
    story to tell you about my husband, Jad.

    Ever since we have been married (four years next March), Jad
    has traveled out of town at least three days a week to work at his convenience
    store in Kinston. Though he has always been off work the other four days of the
    week, our family has found this arrangement very difficult, for several reasons.
    Because of this, for years we have prayed for another job to come along where
    Jad could have benefits and be home every night with his family.

    Well, in July and August, our dreams started to unfold.  Jad had an interview with a popular retail
    store to be the assistant manager at its Chapel Hill location. His interview
    process moved forward, and on August 12, he was offered the job. We prayed
    about it, and it just didn’t feel quite right. It wasn’t going to be quite
    enough money, and we thought his skills exceeded that of assistant manager.
     
    Jad told the district manager that he wasn’t going to take
    the job, and we were both surprised and excited when the district manager
    offered Jad to be the store manager of the Reidsville store. He told Jad that
    it was a large, lucrative store, full of loyal employees, and the best office
    manager around. Jad would be paid plenty of money as a manager, would have
    benefits, and would learn great skills he had not yet had the privilege of
    learning. We prayed about it and felt good about Jad accepting this job. So, he
    did.

    During the month of September, Jad trained to be a store
    manager in the Chapel Hill location. He was overwhelmed much of the time,
    worried he wouldn’t be trained in time. We didn’t see him much during
    September. We also couldn’t communicate with Jad during the day, but had to
    wait for him to call us and talk to us for maybe five minutes. We noticed both
    of us having less and less sleep, and less time together as a family. It wasn’t
    so bad, though, because Jad saw us each day, at least for a little while.
    Sometimes he only saw Casey for a few minutes before he went to school. The
    house got increasingly messier.  

    We kept reassuring ourselves it was going to be a raise and
    a good opportunity. Jad ended up needing an extra week to train. He completed
    his training successfully October 4.

    During the weeks Jad trained, we did not know how much money
    he would be paid once becoming a store manager. We didn’t know if he would be
    able to work with the retiring manager at the Reidsville store. We didn’t know
    what his schedule in Reidsville would be like. We didn’t like how we didn’t
    know these things in advance. At the conclusion of training, Jad was told that
    he would have one day with the newly retired manager and then the Reidsville
    store would be his starting the 8th of October.

    On the morning of the 7th, we were all excited
    for Jad to start his new job. I waited for him to call me all day to talk to me
    about it.  When he didn’t call me, I
    texted him instead. He said his day wasn’t going very well – that it was just
    too much. I encouraged him, saying I knew he could do it.
    That evening, I made his favorite dessert, knafeh, to
    celebrate. To my surprise and sadness, it was not a celebratory dessert after
    all, but more of a therapeutic one. The rest of the evening was filled with
    tears and sadness as we discussed the day’s events.

    Jad told me that the whole way home he just wanted to cry.
    The store was filthy beyond belief, with boxes everywhere, a disgusting carpet
    that wasn’t going to be replaced, a horrendous back room, no Christmas items
    set out, and a mess that would take weeks to clean up.

    At work, when the district manager for Reidsville walked him
    around the store, he pointed all these things out, all the while putting down
    the manager who just retired. Jad agreed there was much to be done, and felt
    confident he would be able to fix everything. Then, he talked to the manager
    himself. He got a different story.

    The newly retired manager told him how happy he was to be
    leaving that store. He said that he worked over 60 hours a week and worked hard
    all the time, but there weren’t enough employees to get anything done. Only a
    small percentage of store profit can go to Payroll, and the numbers are
    strictly enforced. Several of the employees at the Reidsville store have been
    there many years, and thus, make much more money than most cashiers would. Because
    of this, no extra help can be hired. Despite this, the retired manager had the
    same expectations put upon him, with no leniency or compassion of any kind.

    Jad got a different outlook then. After talking to the
    retired manager, he realized that this manager had to clean bathrooms and run a
    register, amongst other non-manager duties because there weren’t enough
    employees to do those things. A salary-paid employee gets paid the same no
    matter how many hours he works. Jad figured out that based on how many hours he
    would have to work, he’d only be making maybe $9 an hour. He’d also have to
    work at least two Sundays a month.
    In addition to working at least 60 hours a week (managers
    are only supposed to work 48-52 per week), he would have nearly an hour drive
    back and forth each day. Plus, he would only get a total of three days off
    during November and December each year, and would have no paid vacation until
    after his first year.

    Jad and I had a very long discussion about this whole
    situation. I told him he had to quit. As we kept talking, I knew that was what
    had to be done, and kept reiterating it. He was relieved, and told me he was
    worried that I would tell him to stick it out because of the money.

    It really wasn’t even an option for him to stay with this
    company. Jad wouldn’t be able to fulfill his church responsibilities – not his
    calling nor his home teaching. The kids and I would basically never see him.
    He’d miss out on all school and church activities. The house would stay messy
    forever… no, this was not going to work.

    We did consider the cons of him quitting. The only thing we
    could think of was how people would think about him for doing it. People might
    gossip. We decided that was not a good enough reason to stay with the company.

    Jad got excited about quitting. The next day was actually a
    big meeting with all the managers of his district, the district manager, and the
    district trainer. He said he would go to the meeting, get a final feel for if
    this job could work by talking to the district manager, and then quit if
    necessary.

    He left for Greensboro early Tuesday morning. On my way to
    the church class I teach, I got a phone call from Jad. He told me he was
    shaking from the inside and that he thought he caused a big stir. I asked him
    what happened. He then started to tell me of the morning’s events.

    When Jad first got to the meeting, he noticed all the
    managers were older. He found this peculiar. He had been told that he would
    have an opportunity for promotion. If that were the case, all the people in
    this room should have been promoted by now.

    After the first hour and half of the meeting, Jad felt
    prompted to start asking his fellow managers questions. He asked each of them
    how long they had been working at the company and how many hours they worked
    per week. On average, they had been working as managers for 15-20 years and
    were working about 60 hours a week or more. Jad asked them if they liked their
    job. Not one person said yes; they just looked at each other.

    One manager, who was a little younger, said she is at work
    more than she is at home. She has not been able to spend quality time with her
    children for 15 years.

    Jad went outside then to speak to the district manager. He
    asked the DM for 15% to use towards payroll or a significant pay increase. The
    DM said no, so Jad asked to speak to the whole group inside.

    He boldly stood up in front of everyone and said that he
    would not be working for this company because he would be a slave. He said he
    would rather spend time with his family than work all the time for more money.
    Throughout his speech, he told the managers to stop him if he said something
    wrong.

     Jad wasn’t afraid to
    tell everyone that this company wasn’t run in the right way.  There weren’t enough hours to give the employees,
    so the managers had to work for basically $9-$10 an hour.
    Jad firmly testified that money is not important. After we
    die, we only take our family and knowledge with us. His relationship with his
    family was much more important than any job. He reiterated that he would not be
    working for the company. He said it was nice to meet all of them, apologized
    for the trouble, and stated his name before handing the district manager the
    keys and heading to his van to come home.

    As he looked around the room before departing, he noticed
    the faces of those around him. He was surprised that the only person who looked
    upset was the district manager. Most of the other people had looks of
    understanding, or eye-opening awareness. One female manager even smiled at him
    and told him to go home to his family.

    I was proud of him, and we were both relieved for him to be
    going back to the job we so desperately wanted him to leave.

    Later we talked about all this. Why did we have to go
    through this experience? Why go through all that training just to quit a job
    after one day? Well, we actually learned much from this and are grateful we
    went through it:

    1.
    The grass isn’t always greener on the other
    side.
    2.
    What we had was actually good in many ways, and
    we should have acted more grateful instead of complaining. Jad’s work
    arrangement of going to Kinston three days a week is still not perfect, but we
    will be much more positive about it now.
    3.
    Quality family time is so important. Getting
    more money is not an excuse to take that away.
    4.
    Do sufficient research on what you are accepting
    before taking a job. Don’t just take someone’s word for it.
    5.
    Be careful of listening to the “flattering
    words” of others.
    6.
    Get both sides of all stories. Things are not
    always as they seem.
    7.
    When we thought we would not be spending much
    time together anymore, we thought of ways to spend more quality time as a
    family, and we will continue to implement those ideas.
    8.
    Only someone who was about to quit a job could
    speak so boldly as Jad did. Perhaps his words will influence a change in the
    company, or at least in the hearts of some who work there.


    Jad
    and I both thank our Heavenly Father for knowing what we need and how we need
    to be taught. 

  • The Holy Ghost led me home

    Exactly one year ago I had a spiritual experience behind the wheel. This is how I told it on Facebook that night:
    I have to share a spiritual experience I had last night while driving home from babysitting my good friend’s kids. I got in my van and tried using my trusty phone GPS to get home since I haven’t been to my friend’s house enough times to memorize the route (she lives way out in the country, by the way). There was no signal. I couldn’t find my car GPS.

     I hoped there would be a signal by the time I got to the end of the gravel street. There wasn’t.

     I sat at the stop sign trying to fiddle with the GPS, and then and older man turned onto the gravel street, rolled down his window, and started talking to me. That freaked me out a little, so I quickly turned right since I could get away from him faster that way. I was pretty sure I went the wrong way, but I figured I could just turn around soon.

     I kept trying to get my GPS to work, to no avail. Remember, it was pitch black outside.

     I decided to turn onto the next street I saw and turn around. Big mistake. This was a very narrow gravel road that went on forever it seemed. I saw signs saying Private Property and then got nervous about being shot at. Finally, I saw a spot to turn around, and then I drove for about half a mile to get back to the road. 

    I turned right, back towards my friend’s house. I knew I was going the right way but still had no idea what to do next.

     I pleaded with my Heavenly Father to help me get home. My GPS did not magically start working – no, it never worked. However, though I didn’t know where I was going, I managed to remember road names when I got to them. I never passed a turn, and I never went the wrong way on a road. The final test was when I wasn’t sure whether to turn right or left onto a road I would had to drive five miles on. I turned the way I felt I should, and five miles later, I recognized my surroundings.

     I know with all my heart that the Holy Ghost led me home. Not once did I make a wrong turn. Not once did a vehicle drive behind me, forcing me to hurry and making me nervous. Not once did I see a deer or any other animal. Though this was a scary experience for me, it was a testimony builder. God is there for us. We need only to trust in Him.

  • Pornography: I say it. I talk about it. You should too.

    Once upon a time, there was a young woman who went out to college. She met a young man. Though she for a long time only saw him as a friend, her feelings finally turned into something more and they fell in love. 

    They had many conversations about their pasts. He told her that he used to have a pornography addiction but he was over it. She believed him. 

    He visited her over the summer after that semester and asked her to marry him. She said yes. 

    One night, after she was back at school, he told her he had viewed pornographic images once during their engagement, while she was away for the summer.

    This was very hard for her, and she considered breaking off the engagement. But she ultimately decided she loved him and still wanted to marry him. They got married.

    Married life was good sometimes, and other times really hard. He often did not treat her with love and respect. He once told her he loved himself more than her. They had good times too, though, and during one of these good times, the young couple chose to have a baby. They had a baby boy.

    Having a baby did not heal their marriage woes. The marriage continued to decline. She finally found out that he had gotten back into pornography. That explained his declining grades, his secretiveness, his temper, their lack of intimacy.

    She was angry and heartbroken. She quickly realized, though, that even though her love for her husband was gone, she did not want to sever the relationship. For her child, she was willing to work hard to fix her marriage. They counseled with the bishop of their congregation. The young man started a 12-step addiction recovery program.

    There seemed to be some hope, but it soon faltered. He decided overcoming his addiction was too hard. His family was not worth all that trouble. He asked for a divorce. She obliged, but it was the hardest thing she had ever had to do in her life. 

    After college graduation, she and her son left him. They moved far away.

    And they lived happily ever after?

    Well, after years of self-esteem issues, guilt over leaving her son in daycare, and feelings of ostracism for being young and divorced with a child, she finally found happiness again. She is happier than ever. 

    His life has not changed for the better. 

    *******

    This story is not one that any of us would want to write into our histories, nor into the histories of our children. However, because this is a true story, and there are so many others like it, it is important to explore how this story could have been written very differently. 

    The first thing that is important for us to consider is that a pornography addiction can happen to anyone regardless of age, sex, religion, or marital status. In the story, he was the one with an addiction, but it could have just as easily have been her. 

    Because age is not a factor in whether or not someone will develop a pornography addiction, we need to start teaching our children about pornography from a young age. 

    Before we can tell our kids about pornography, we need to tell them about passions and feelings. 

    Sister Linda Reeves, the 2nd Counselor in the General Relief Society presidency in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS church) explained, “One reason we are here on earth is to learn to manage the passions and feelings of our mortal bodies. These God-given feelings help us want to marry and have children. The intimate marriage relationship between a man and a woman that brings children into mortality is also meant to be a beautiful, loving experience that binds together two devoted hearts, unites both spirit and body, and brings a fulness of joy and happiness as we learn to put each other first.”

    These same feelings aroused outside of marriage, however, are not characterized as love, but rather lust. Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, an apostle in the LDS church spoke of the different between love and lust:

    “Why is lust such a deadly sin? Well, in addition to the completely Spirit-destroying impact it has upon our souls, I think it is a sin because it defiles the highest and holiest relationship God gives us in mortality—the love that a man and a woman have for each other and the desire that couple has to bring children into a family intended to be forever. Someone said once that true love must include the idea of permanence. True love endures. But lust changes as quickly as it can turn a pornographic page or glance at yet another potential object for gratification walking by, male or female. True love we are absolutely giddy about… But lust is characterized by shame and stealth and is almost pathologically clandestine—the later and darker the hour the better, with a double-bolted door just in case. Love makes us instinctively reach out to God and other people. Lust, on the other hand, is anything but godly and celebrates self-indulgence. Love comes with open hands and open heart; lust comes with only an open appetite.”

    Now that our kids know that participating in pornography is a poison to true love, we need to now tell them what pornography actually is. According to the Miriam-Webster dictionary it is movies, pictures, magazines, etc., that show or describe naked people or sex in a very open and direct way in order to cause sexual excitement. 

    As I ponder the “etc.” in the definition, I think of books (think romance novels, for example), TV shows, music, music videos, video games, photo advertisements, and sometimes even products. Anything created to induce sexual excitement can be considered pornography. It doesn’t have to be Playboys, movies from adult video stores, and naked images from porn websites. As long as the materials arouse a person sexually, they are considered pornography. Explicit nudity is not a prerequisite.

    Some might might call this a difference of “hard porn” and “soft porn.” Elder Dallin H. Oaks, an apostle in the LDS church, said, “Some seek to justify their indulgence by arguing that they are only viewing “soft,” not “hard,” porn. A wise bishop called this refusing to see evil as evil. He quoted men seeking to justify their viewing choices by comparisons such as “not as bad as” or “only one bad scene.” But the test of what is evil is not its degree but its effect. When persons entertain evil thoughts long enough for the Spirit to withdraw, they lose their spiritual protection and they are subject to the power and direction of the evil one. When they use Internet or other pornography for what this bishop described as “arousal on demand” (letter of Mar. 13, 2005), they are deeply soiled by sin.”

    In this quote, we see some of the dangers from pornography: loss of the Spirit and subjection to the Devil’s power. 
    Sister Reeves explained how important it is to talk to our kids about these dangers: “We as parents and leaders need to counsel with our children and youth on an ongoing basis, listening with love and understanding. They need to know the dangers of pornography and how it overtakes lives, causing loss of the Spirit, distorted feelings, deceit, damaged relationships, loss of self-control, and nearly total consumption of time, thought, and energy.”
    It is so important that our conversations with our kids are ongoing, and even go beyond the damaging effects of pornography.

    Jeffrey J. Ford, MS, a marriage and family therapist in St. George, UT, advised to have many conversations with our kids about pornography to clarify our values, let our kids express opinions, instill truths about sexuality, and answer our kids’ questions. We should also discuss the “what if” scenarios with our kids so they know what to do if a friend tries to show them a dirty magazine, or if a teacher starts showing an inappropriate movie, etc. This way, if they do come in contact with pornography, they have already made the decision of how to get away from it. Dr. Ford stresses that kids need a safe place to talk about porn, and that should be in the home. 
    The Utah Coalition Against Pornography encourages us to tell our kids about our experiences with pornography. This way they can see that we also have struggles, and have empathy for theirs. We should encourage our kids to tell us within 10 minutes if they have had contact with pornography, and then praise them when they do.
    My friend let me borrow a CD of a sermon her pastor had given a few years back about sex and pornography. Several of his points were excellent. He said that we need to be the ones to tell our kids about sex and their bodies. (You may need to have the same conversations more than once and with varying detail – my son already forgot what sex is and I told him less than four months ago.) If you tell them about everything, they won’t feel the need to look up this information and, as a result, come in contact with pornography. We should always tell our kids the truth when they ask us, and look for teachable moments. Talking about pornography can be a little embarrassing, but we should remember it is the Devil who does not want us to talk about it. “Silence is a reckless option.” Our kids can only make good sexual choices if they know what they are. 

    As a young kid, maybe 10, I was exposed to pornography. A friend of mine showed me a copy of one of her father’s Playboy magazines while her mother was running an errand. On another occasion, she closed us up in one of the rooms of her house and showed me, on mute, parts of a pornographic movie. I never told my parents about it, probably because our family did not ever sit together and talk about pornography, how it is wrong, and what to do if you see it. As mentioned, it can be embarrassing to talk about pornography, but it must be done to protect our children, and to help them know how to react when porn comes into their grasp.

    I just had a conversation about pornography with my 9-year-old son on Sunday. I told him about the feelings and about what pornography is. At that age, he doesn’t really understand. However, he does understand our bodies are temples, that we are created in the image of God, and that bodies should be viewed and treated with such respect. He does know what to do if he sees naked images. He knows what to do if he hears a song that makes him uncomfortable. I also gave him the advice that if friends at school whisper for him to come look at something, he probably wouldn’t want to go over there. Any time a kid feels the need to be secretive about something, most likely he/she is breaking a rule.

    In our counsels with our children about pornography, we should decide what our media standards are going to be and why. These media standards should be kept by all members of the family. If you wouldn’t want your kid looking at it, reading it, or listening to it, then it most likely should not be in the house at all. Don’t think they won’t find it. Kids snoop around when you aren’t home. They find the romance novels and the dirty magazines. 
    Even with standards, we need to safeguard further by keeping our TVs and computers in common areas, as well as installing parental controls for our computers, TVs, and handheld devices, such as cell phones and tablets. (Sister Reeves mentioned that most kids get involved with porn through these handheld electronics.) This way members of the family will not accidentally, or be tempted to purposely, partake in pornography. 

    A couple good free internet filters are k9webprotection.com and opendns.com. For cell phones, you can install parental controls that can even disable the internet and texting, if you like. I recently downloaded Kids Place on my phone, and it has many options for safeguarding kids from inappropriate content.

    Social media is also a place where pornography is rampant. It would be beneficial for us to be friends with our kids on Facebook, Instagram, etc., to monitor what they are posting and liking.

    These filters are great at helping prevent the viewing, listening, and reading of pornography, but Sister Reeves has an even better filter option:  “…The greatest filter in the world, the only one that will ultimately work, is the personal internal filter that comes from a deep and abiding testimony of our Heavenly Father’s love and our Savior’s atoning sacrifice for each one of us.”

    Elder David A. Bednar, an apostle for the LDS church, said, “Such testimony fortifies faith and provides direction. Such testimony generates light in a world that grows increasingly dark. Such testimony is the source of an eternal perspective and of enduring peace…”

    Once Sister Reeves and her husband were praying because they were overwhelmed with their young children and all their other responsibilities. The answer to their prayer was, “It is OK if the house is a mess and the children are still in their pajamas and some responsibilities are left undone. The only things that really need to be accomplished in the home are daily scripture study and prayer and weekly family home evening.”

    These spiritual filters – testimony, scripture study, prayer and Family Home Evening, bring an abundance of the Holy Spirit into the home, and can be a protection from the temptation of the Devil.
    Sister Reeves also spoke of the protection that can come from many other worthy practices:
    1. Doing family history work and attending the temple
    Elder Richard G. Scott of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles said, in regards to participating in family history and temple work, “I can think of no greater protection from the influence of the adversary in your life” (“The Joy of Redeeming the Dead,”Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2012, 94).
    2. Following the prophet
    President Wilford Woodruff stated: “I say to Israel, the Lord will never permit me or any other man who stands as president of the Church to lead you astray. It is not in the program. It is not in the mind of God.” (The Discourses of Wilford Woodruff, pp. 212–13.)
    3. Prayerfully studying the Book of Mormon
    The Book of Mormon - Another Testament of Jesus Christ
    Elder Boyd K Packer said, “The scriptures hold the keys to spiritual protection. They contain the doctrine and laws and ordinances that will bring each child of God to a testimony of Jesus Christ as the Savior and Redeemer.” (The Key to Spiritual Protection October 2013)
    It is the job of the parents to explain the sacred feelings given to us to use in our marriages, explain what pornography is and its dangers, set up regular times to discuss pornography with our kids, set family standards, install parental controls, and finally, make our homes safe havens by the spiritual deeds performed there. 
    Once we have done this, it is in our children’s hands to make the right choices. We have set the example and taught them the right way.We have to remember that they will be in other people’s homes. They will be around other people with different values at school and work. We can’t protect them from everything.

    For example, I used to babysit my cousins some nights while their parents were out. Their TV did not have parental controls. Once I was flipping through the channels and came across a very sexually charged movie. I was curious, the heat rose within me, and I secretly watched much of it. It was the wrong choice. I should have known better.

    Sister Reeves admonished, “Youth, take responsibility for your own spiritual well-being. Turn off your phone if necessary, sing a Primary song, pray for help, think of a scripture, walk out of a movie, picture the Savior, take the sacrament worthily, study For the Strength of Youth, be an example to your friends, confide in a parent, go see your bishop, ask for help, and seek professional counseling, if needed.”
    A person’s spiritual well-being relies on so much more than not participating in pornography. The standards must be much higher. 
    Sister Reeves mentioned the For the Strength of Youth pamphlet, a guidebook on how youth (and all of us) should live our lives to be like Christ and return to Him. One of the standards in this book is Entertainment and Media. 
    It says: Do not attend, view, or participate in anything that is vulgar, immoral, violent, or pornographic in any way. Do not participate in anything that presents immorality or violence as acceptable. Have the courage to walk out of a movie, change your music, or turn off a computer, television, or mobile device if what you see or hear drives away the Spirit. 
    I also love the counsel given by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, an apostle in the LDS church:
    1. “Above all, start by separating yourself from people, materials, and circumstances that will harm you.”
    2. “Along with filters on computers and a lock on affections, remember that the only real control in life is self-control. If a TV show is indecent, turn it off. If a movie is crude, walk out. If an improper relationship is developing, sever it. Many of these influences, at least initially, may not technically be evil, but they can blunt our judgment, dull our spirituality, and lead to something that could be evil.”
    3. “Like thieves in the night, unwelcome thoughts can and do seek entrance to our minds…Replace lewd thoughts with hopeful images and joyful memories; picture the faces of those who love you and would be shattered if you let them down.”
    4. “Cultivate and be where the Spirit of the Lord is. Make sure that includes your own home or apartment, dictating the kind of art, music, and literature you keep there. If you are endowed, go to the temple as often as your circumstances allow. And when you leave the temple, remember the symbols you take with you, never to be set aside or forgotten.”
    Parents lead the way, and then the children make their own choices. There will be times, though, when despite all the good direction you have given your kids, that they may still develop an addiction to pornography at some point in their lives. 
    Sister Reeves gave humbling counsel: “We would be wise not to react with shock, anger, or rejection, which may cause them to be silent again.”
    The natural reaction to finding out a loved one has a pornography addiction would be all the things she said not to do. I thought about it, and even if someone is engaged in such a horrifying sin, that person is still a child of God. That person still has the ability to change and become better. By showing compassion and care, we can help the person know that the change is possible and worth it. 
    A father sitting at a kitchen table with his teenage son. The father and son are talking with each other.
    For more advice about how to respond when you find out someone you love has a pornography addiction, click here. 
    The young woman in the story may not have reacted the best at first, but she did sincerely want her husband to overcome his addiction. She wanted to save her marriage and keep her family together.
    She suffered greatly because of her husband’s addiction. It made her feel betrayed, unloved, not good enough, and defeated. 
    woman pondering
    Sister Reeves has offered words of hope to people like this young woman: “We as leaders are also greatly concerned about the spouses and families of those suffering from pornography addiction. Elder Richard G. Scott has pleaded: “If you are free of serious sin yourself, don’t suffer needlessly the consequences of another’s sins. … You can feel compassion. … Yet you should not take upon yourself a feeling of responsibility for those acts.” Know that you are not alone. There is help. Addiction recovery meetings for spouses are available, including phone-in meetings, which allow spouses to call in to a meeting and participate from their own homes.”
    Elder C. Scott Grow has also provided comfort with his words: “The Savior felt the weight of the anguish of all mankind―the anguish of sin and of sorrow. “Surely he has borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows.” Through His Atonement, He heals not only the transgressor, but He also heals the innocent who suffer because of those transgressions. As the innocent exercise faith in the Savior and in His Atonement and forgive the transgressor, they too can be healed” (“The Miracle of the Atonement,” April 2011 General Conference).
    If this young woman had realized that her husband’s addiction was not her fault, that there were support meetings for other spouses like her, that she could be healed as she exercised faith in her Savior and forgave her husband, her suffering would have been much less.
    Forgiveness. That is a very difficult thing to do when one has been betrayed so deliberately and painfully. President James E. Faust spoke about forgiveness in a way to make it more attainable. He said:
     1. Forgiveness is not always instantaneous.”
     2. “Most of us need time to work through pain and loss.”
     3. “Forgiveness comes more readily when … we have faith in God and trust in His word.”
     4. “If we will get on our knees and ask Heavenly Father for a feeling of forgiveness, He will help us.”
    Now what about the one with the pornography addiction? The young man in the story chose not to repent of his sins. He chose not to go through with the program. He chose to end his marriage. Maybe he just didn’t understand this, spoken by Sister Reeves:
    “Young people and adults, if you are caught in Satan’s trap of pornography, remember how merciful our beloved Savior is. Do you realize how deeply the Lord loves and cherishes you, even now? Our Savior has the power to cleanse and heal you. He can remove the pain and sorrow you feel and make you clean again through the power of His Atonement…He has paid the price for our sins, but we must kneel before our Father in Heaven, in deep humility, confessing our sins, and plead with Him for forgiveness. We must want to change our hearts and our desires and be humble enough to seek the help and forgiveness of those we may have hurt or forsaken.”

    No, as a youth, this young man must not have realized he had to repent to really get over his pornography addiction. Then as an adult facing divorce, he must not have known that forgiveness and purity was within his reach if he would only reach out to his Savior.

    There are so many wonderful resources to help those affected by pornography addictions. Anyone with an addiction, or spouses and family of one with an addiction, can find live or phone support meeting schedules at addictionrecovery.lds.org.    
    Much of the information I put in this blog post came from overcomingpornography.org. It is a site dedicated to educating, preventing, dealing, and healing. Everything you need to know about how to teach your children correct principles is there. Advice for how to safeguard your home is there. The signs of a pornography addiction are there. It is all there. Most importantly, this site is meant to help you or a loved one overcome pornography through the atonement of Jesus Christ. 
    Only Jesus Christ can make us clean. Only through Him can we live with our Father in Heaven again.
    Perhaps someday the young man in the story will feel Christ’s outstretched arms, beckoning him back, reaching to him, yearning to pull him into a warm, loving embrace.
    God bless this young man, and any other person who has fallen into Satan’s trap of pornography. It is not too late for you. You can overcome. You can find peace. You can be pure again. All you have to do is trust in the Lord.