Sometimes you sign up for something having no idea what you are really in for. That happened to me this past Saturday when I went with several members of my son, Casey’s, wrestling team, the wrestling coach and his wife, and one of their friends.
I did look at the website to see what the Rugged Maniac was, and I did feel pumped up by the wrestling coach’s wife, thinking we would run as a mom group and have a great time in the rear doing our best. So, I went.
I wasn’t too nervous until we got in the line about ready to start. We all stretched and did some jogging in place to warm up. And then it was finally time to start. It wasn’t so bad at first – a light jog, a very simple obstacle. But then it got harder – a lot harder.
I found that I was the slowest out of the three of us moms. My legs were the shortest, so that did not help me with my stride or with a lot of the obstacles that seemed to be made for people with giant legs.
The other moms were encouraging and rooted for me for the most part. They didn’t always wait for me, which made me feel extra slow, and I always was the last out of the three to do an obstacle, but I kept trucking along.
We three muddy moms
I am not very athletic at all, so you may be wondering, with my slowness and all, how I did. Well, I can say that I did the entire 5k and all 25 obstacles (though at times not exactly as designed – the modified version, if you will).
Yep, I did it. I didn’t think I would. In fact, a couple times I thought I was going to die. A couple times I was about to give up. One time I even started tearing up because the other moms in my group left me behind. What helped me get through?
It might seem strange to say, but I really felt like there were angels along my path – angels on earth. I wasn’t expecting that in a competitive, hard-core race like this that people would ever slow down to help others. But they did. They helped me.
At one point, we had to climb up to a platform (one of the moms gave me a boost because it was really high with no steps) and then go down a fire fighter’s pole. That one was called the Pole Position. The pole was far enough away from me on the platform that I was scared to death that my legs wouldn’t reach and I would fall. The other moms in my group rooted for me. They told me I could do it, but I just didn’t feel it. I couldn’t just go back, though, since the platform had no steps. Then I heard a man’s voice who said something like, “It’s okay. You can do this. I’ll do it with you. Okay, ready? On the count of three, we jump on and slide down. One, two…” And you know what? His voice and his promise to go at the same time as me calmed me enough that I was able to accomplish the task. I was so grateful for him.
Another time, we had to do a very difficult obstacle where we had to run and jump onto black squares on the water. They were tied together but they moved around a lot. That one was called the Frog Hop. The squares were unfortunately spread out enough that I knew I couldn’t jump from one group to the next without falling in the water. So, I just jumped in the water, hoisted myself (super gracefully) onto one of the squares, jumped into the water, and did it again. Unfortunately, the last time I jumped in the water, the water was too high for me to hoist myself out back onto dry ground. I knew I couldn’t get out. But, there was a very nice young woman who jumped back into the water and gave me a leg up. I was embarrassed, but she was more than happy to help. I can’t remember, but I think the other two moms in my group pulled my arms too. There was no way I would have gotten out without that help.
The absolute hardest obstacle for me was this very high angled rope ladder that you had to go up, over and down. It was called Vertigo. I was scared to death. I went a little less than halfway up, really felt like I was going to fall, and started going back down as I said, “I can’t do this.” I kept hearing voices say I could do it, and my son and his friends had finished by that point and were there to cheer me on. I wasn’t so sure, but then a lady who was at the very top said she would wait up there and talk me through my climbing. She was so kind and patient. She talked to me and smiled at me every step of the way. She told me how to get myself over to the other side and then she talked to me until I got down. I mean, what an angel!
Coming down with my angel next to me. See how she is talking to me?I was mentally exhausted after getting off that rope obstacle. The next one was a relief but I was so tired I had to go slowly.
Another thing that really helped was the fact that even though many of the obstacles freaked me out, some of them did not bother me that much or at all, like crawling under barbed wire, jumping over fire and trenches, using my strength to pull heavy objects, getting in cold, muddy water during multiple obstacles, going down very tall slides, and being in small spaces. Accomplishing those without help gave me just enough confidence to not give up and the courage to not let me fears overcome me. Interestingly, my favorite obstacle, the Fenced In, was my favorite even though it freaked a lot of people out (it did take me a minute to figure out how to get positioned right, but after that, I loved it).
For whatever reason, I was cool with this. I remember doing this as a teenage a long time ago. Maybe that’s why.A little scary but also fun. And really, once you are up you have no choice but to come down!
The stations of water (though few and far between), the encouragement and instruction from the volunteers, and the little prayers I said throughout the race, even if they were just as short as a “Please God, give me strength.” Or “Please help me through this,” also helped get me through. I did a lot of those prayers.
As I said before, I was the slowest person in our wrestling group. I probably needed the most help. But I did it, and I know it was because of the love and kindness of God and His children. It wasn’t me. I couldn’t have done it alone.
The end of the last obstacle – a huge slide into cold, muddy water. Scary but exhilarating.
We had a break after we ran to get “cleaned up” and refuel with food. Then we got to be volunteers for a while. I was at one of the obstacles with one of Casey’s friends, the Rinse and Repeat. I truly loved being able to encourage, instruct, and be a sounding board for the runners coming through. I thought about how much I had appreciated that help. It gave me a greater appreciation for the event as I saw people of all shapes, sizes, athletic abilities, and confidence. I saw so many emotions, and I realized that the Rugged Maniac experience was different for everyone. Everyone’s reasons for being there were different, but I hope everyone who participated was glad they did it.
All of us tired and muddy, but we did it.
Am I glad? Well, I have endured many days of intense soreness and very ugly bruises due to participating (my soreness is just now about gone after 6 days), but I absolutely am glad that I did it. I conquered some of my fears. I realized I can do harder things than I give myself credit for. I built friendships. And most importantly, I saw the good and helpful nature of many children of God that day. And that made it worth all the bruises, mud, and soreness over and over again.
Wow. Church today was just about as beautiful as it could be. I personally felt the presence of the Holy Ghost during every congregational hymn, musical number, and talk given. That beautiful spirit, often manifested by involuntary tears, continued into Relief Society (a class for our church’s women’s organization). The main theme of the day centered around gathering Israel on both sides of the veil, most specifically through sharing the gospel and doing temple and family history work.
Our Bishop made the wise remark that nothing we do in our church, whether a mission, assignment, or calling, is about us. It’s about the people we serve. It’s about loving God and serving His children. I thought about this verse:
Wherefore, be not weary in well-doing, for ye are laying the foundation of a great work. And out of small things proceedeth that which is great.
He also spoke about the paradox of losing verses finding our lives, mentioned several times in the Bible. Here is one version from the book of Matthew:
He who seeketh to save his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it.
The purpose of life is not just to have fun and do whatever we please for personal pleasure. Rather, it is making sacrifices of our time, talents, and heart in order to do God’s work will help us find out who we really are and who we have the potential of becoming.
The tears really flowed when our Relief Society President, Dori, got up to present her talk. Jad had sent her a very sacred experience surrounding the recent illness and death of his uncle. She didn’t have time to present her entire prepared message, but she made sure to share all of Jad’s story. That was what she felt was most important to share. There were many sniffles and tears in the congregation, including our own. Here is that story completely in Jad’s own words, written on May 16, 2021:
Due to COVID-19, My uncle William was admitted to a nearby hospital on Monday, April fifth. I would call him every other day to check on him when I am driving to work, and on the weekend I give him the chance to talk to my family. He has been asking to talk to the kids a lot lately those days. On April 17 Kamren spent more time talking to my uncle about his upcoming soccer game. at that time he took a selfie with my uncle that I did not know till later. later on, on the same day, my mother said that she had a bad dream about my uncle dying but I stopped her and I told her everything would be fine, don’t worry mother.
Mother came for a quick unexpected visit on Monday, April 19 and as soon she walked into our home she starts crying and we said what is wrong Teta “Grama in English”. your uncle William in the ICU. We all comforted her and said he is not going to die. And I assured her that he will be just fine. I didn’t think that he will die at all.
My mother left with my brother back to his house, and that night I had some bad dreams, that I was in Jordan near my uncle hospital and there was broken glass from the hospital windows everywhere, it was at unease all the time, and then I walk up to my brother calling me around at 1:30 AM. I had a feeling of very bad news. my brother said that our beloved uncle William died. I cried and cried for 2 hours then around 4 AM I drove to my brother’s home so I can be there before my mother walk up, but I soon parked by the home I can hear my mother screaming and crying from outside. I stayed beside almost all day to comfort each other.
A week later on May 1st after my mother spent the day with us, I drove here back to my brother’s home and on the way there she asked me Jad where is your uncle William now. For a moment I was wow I never thought my mother would ask me this question, I felt the spirit so strong and I took this opportunity and talked about the plan of salvation, She felt comforted knowing my uncle is still there and he is doing he learning the true gospel and eventually once his work is done in the gospel he will be helping the lord in his work. She may think this is to be good to be true but at least it makes her feel happy knowing so. In my mind what she did not ask her Brother in law or her sister who are preachers and study the religion for years or any other preacher from back home. See at one time in my life around 9-10 years old I asked my mother what are those feeling that I have about life and earth and our souls and what will happen to it the afterlife, and she did not know and referred me to the priest which he told not to think about such things, it will make you crazy.
after that on my mother said, “Jad I have not told you this, but 3 days before your uncle died I had a dream that I was at our old home overseas and I was looking for my brother everywhere and I can’t find him, then your deceased grandmother appear to me, so I asked her mother where is my brother William, and she said go ask Jad, and she repeated three times.”
That is why she asked me.
I and mandy did the work for my both of my grandparent from my mother side. and the spirit was so strong when we baptize and seal them together later.
My Uncle William was kind and charitable and very giving to all. a stranger will love and feel peace and trust him after they meet home. he was a father for us since our dad left us when we young and we forced to leave our home and live with my grandparent and our uncle and aunts.
He treated me like a son and reward me when I do great at school, took us to nice places, and taught us how to swim.
He was married late in his life and left behind a 10-year-old girl name Yara and a 12-year-old boy, Yousef “Joseph”. His kids are having a really tough time now, Mom arrived today to Jordan to comfort them.
William with his mother and with his sonWilliam with his wife, children, and Jad’s motherKamren with William
I had several people come up to me at church telling me how touched they were by Jad’s experiences. Dori told me she felt this was perfect representation to her of gathering Israel on both sides of the veil, and the miracles that can ensue. She said Jad’s story is now a part of her life, which really meant a lot to me.
Our Relief Society lesson helped continue this beautiful conversation as we focused on the phrase, “every nation, kindred, tongue, and people.”
We spoke about each word. It was emotional for me having a husband who is from Jordan – a country that is not open to the preaching of the gospel yet. I shared that I know with all my heart that Jad was sent to the United States when he was and how he was so he could find the Church and help his kindred also embrace it when they are ready. God cares about each and every family and wishes for them to be united eternally. He will and does provide a way for that to happen.
I read over Elder Gong’s talk (the talk we discussed in the lesson) after coming home, and these words hit me the most:
Our 2020 bicentennial proclamation begins with the profoundly inclusive promise that “God loves His children in every nation of the world.” To each of us in every nation, kindred, tongue, and people, God promises, covenants, and invites us to come partake of His abundant joy and goodness…
In the household of faith there are to be no strangers, no foreigners, no rich and poor, no outside “others.” As “fellowcitizens with the saints,” we are invited to change the world for the better, from the inside out, one person, one family, one neighborhood at a time.
Elder Gerrit W. Gong
Elder Gong also wisely said:
By small and simple means—in which we are each invited to participate—great things are brought to pass.
Elder Gerrit W. Gong
God has been refining me over the years in many ways, and one way He has done so is by helping me see goodness in all people – to help me realize and honor that all people on this planet, regardless of choices, beliefs, circumstances, or any other defining factor, are children of God and beloved by Him. There is nobody who does not need Christ and there is nobody that does not deserve to partake of His goodness and love. We have a choice as Saints to either push others away because we don’t think they are good enough, or realize none of us are good enough, but God loves us perfectly anyway, and wants us all to come unto Him. We then take that to action through our kindness, encouragement, service, compassion, and understanding.
I left church feeling so uplifted and inspired. On the way home, I got really emotional as I was talking to Jad. I have felt for many years that God has a very special purpose for my husband. It is so clear to me just how much God has been with Jad every step of the way in his life. There have been countless direction, miracles, and interventions that there is no doubt in my mind Jad has a very important mission to fulfil on this earth to help gather Israel. I choked up as I wondered why I was chosen to be his wife – his companion – on this earth and for eternity. It was a really sweet conversation as Jad shared clear examples with me of how I had been such a crucial part of his life in helping him make the best decisions, as well as accepting him and loving him in his circumstances early on.
When I got home from church, I felt prompted to share this to Facebook:
The best tears are those that freely flow when feeling the presence of the Holy Ghost all around you. As they wet your face, they cleanse and refresh your soul.
I really felt that. But it wasn’t only thinking of Jad’s experiences that brought so much emotion to my soul today. It’s also because I feel like God has been nudging me a while on this subject. I actually got really passionate about family history a year or so ago. I loved doing it so much, but because I have been so busy and distracted with things related to selling, renting, and building homes (among many other things), I have pretty much let it go, and have felt guilty about it. I have been passionate about some good things since, but not that.
The first nudge came in early June of this year as Jad and I sat together to watch a church broadcast about supporting children and youth. The most important part of the broadcast (to me) wasn’t even the main message, but it struck me like an arrow to the heart. It was a clip of President Russell M. Nelson saying this:
These surely are the latter days, and the Lord is hastening His work to gather Israel. That gathering is the most important thing taking place on earth today. Nothing else compares in magnitude, nothing else compares in importance, nothing else compares in majesty. And if you choose to, if you want to, you can be a big part of it. You can be a big part of something big, something grand, something majestic!
President Russell M. Nelson
He said “nothing else” three times! It hit me so hard. I had been focusing on several good things, but I had let the most important thing, where nothing else compares to it in importance, slip.
Then, I got two more nudges this past Friday. I was going to be able to go inside the Raleigh Temple for the first time since February 2020 (pre-pandemic) for a baptism trip. I wanted to bring family names, so I printed some female names off of my account and some male names off of my son, Casey’s account. But I couldn’t stop there. I kept printing and printing and printing names. I couldn’t help it – I just felt that there were so many ancestors waiting to receive their ordinances and make covenants with Heavenly Father. I printed as many as I could until Jad reminded me probably not all would be able to be completed that night.
Then the time came to go. I was going as an observer and helper, specifically for a new member of the church, Kourtney, who has become my good friend. I rode with her on the way to the Temple, and she couldn’t contain her excitement. I knew she was ready to be there. We walked the Temple grounds first, and I could tell that she and the other two new members (such sweet sisters as well) were so at peace looking at the temple and breathing in the beauty and peace that was there.
Kourtney was nervous about doing something wrong or not knowing what to do at first, and she made sure I would be with her or within her sight at all times. I saw a shift, though, as the baptism session went on, and I could tell she didn’t really need me anymore. She was just really loving the spiritual experience she was having.
I also loved being able to sit in the Temple and watch the youth and new converts help those who had not previously had the opportunity, to be baptized. I loved hearing names called out that I knew were from my ancestry.
As we left the Temple, there was a lasting peace and calm. I turned to Kourtney and asked her what her favorite part of the session was, and she said that as she was watching the first several young men be baptized on behalf of deceased persons, she realized that those were not just names – they were real people who had been hoping and praying for a long time that they could receive these ordinances. That rush of revelation prompted her to volunteer to be baptized next, but not before she studied each name in her hand and felt of their righteous desires. She said that she felt very strongly after being baptized and confirmed for them, that each of those sisters accepted their baptismal covenants.
I was amazed at her wisdom and I knew what she said was true. I was even more grateful because the women who she had been baptized for were all ancestors of mine.
The Holy Ghost has been giving me gentle nudges for a while now about how I need to refocus my greatest efforts on gathering Israel. That is the most important thing I can do on this earth. It’s the most important thing any follower of Christ can do. I’m grateful for those nudges as they have strengthened my testimony greatly.
I pray that I will be able to keep my sights in line with God’s will for me. I know that by doing this I will be happier and holier, and that I will find myself by losing it for His sake.
I hear many Christians say, “God doesn’t make mistakes.”
If used with loving tones and intentions, this can be a true and glorious statement. The key word is “if.” To help understand intent, we need to go further into the statement.
Let’s try using it in relation to many of God’s creations and gifts and see how we would continue the sentence like this: “God doesn’t make mistakes and so…_________________.”
God created the water, land, and all of the trees, herbs, grasses, plants, and flowers (See Genesis 1:9-12, 29). There is much beauty to behold on the earth because of these creations, as well as food and medicine for us to use. However, many areas of the earth suffer from famine, drought, and horrible natural disasters, such as earthquakes, fires, floods, and hurricanes. Some plants, trees, and flowers also bring pain and discomfort.
“God doesn’t make mistakes, and so… ___________________________.”
What would you say? I would say, “…in His wisdom, God gave us opposition to help us love and appreciate the beauty of nature on one hand, and on the other hand to turn to Him in faith when nature causes harm. To those who are not currently suffering by the hand of nature, He provides them with the opportunity to serve those who are.”
God created all of the fish, birds, beasts, and creeping things on this earth (see Genesis 1:20-25, 30). These animals bring joy, wonder, beauty, nutrition, and affection to us on the earth. But, some are dangerous, even deadly. Others are gross, destructive, or just plain annoying. We may wish they didn’t exist.
“God doesn’t make mistakes, and so… ___________________________.”
What would you say? I would say, “…in His wisdom, He gave us all kinds of animals not only for us to enjoy, but also to help us learn tolerance, each animal’s purpose, how to coexist with them, and in dangerous interactions with them, the ability to use our faith to turn to Him for help.”
God created male and female in His image and commanded them to multiply and replenish the earth (See Genesis 1:26-28). The human body is magnificent and works in miraculous ways. Being able to have children is one of those miracles. However, not all people are born with bodies and minds that function perfectly or properly. There are many born with mild to severe mental and/or physical disabilities. Some babies don’t even make it to birth because their bodies are unable to function outside the womb. There are also many couples who wish for nothing more than to be parents, and yet can never conceive or carry a child to term.
“God doesn’t make mistakes, and so…____________________________.”
These situations can be heartbreaking and very personal. The answer to this statement will be different for everyone, and may take much prayer, fasting and faith to accept and receive an answer that brings peace. When we know of people who suffer from these heartaches, we respond with love, compassion, and open arms.
You may have noticed that I have missed something in relation to this gift of God: not all of God’s children are attracted to the opposite sex, which is needful in order to multiply and replenish the earth. Some are attracted to the same sex, others to both, some to none at all, and some even feel that their inside gender doesn’t match their outside sex. Let’s try to fill in the blank again:
“God doesn’t make mistakes, and so…____________________________.”
At this point, many Christians would take pause. In all the other instances above, most Christians would respond with faith and positivity. Yet, this example is rarely treated the same way. On the contrary, when it comes to LGBTQ+ individuals, so often I have heard Christians judge unkindly, accusing them of wickedness and vile sin, thinking upon them with disgust and denying their humanity. They fill in the blank with words like this: “God doesn’t make mistakes, and so LGBTQ+ individuals are choosing these grotesque lifestyles and trying to destroy the divine nature of the family.”
These thoughts and feelings are often a product of ignorance, and are very damaging. Jesus certainly never spoke or felt this way about any of God’s children, and does not want us to do so either.
Before you think I have always been above thoughts like that, I have to make some confessions. In the early 2000s, people didn’t really talk about homosexuality or any other type of sexuality outside the heterosexual. I recall at least twice in high school when different teen boys told me they were gay. I am ashamed to say that I did not react with love. I did not acknowledge either boy’s courage for saying something that would likely cause persecution and ostracizing by their peers. No, I laughed it off each time and said that they were just making it up and that nobody was really gay. I didn’t mean any harm, but how harmful my responses must have been! I remember also in those teen years when my little brother told me that someone told him he could be a model that I scoffed and said, “Do you want people to think you are gay??” In my high school, I often heard and said the derogatory phrase, “That’s so gay” anytime something was deemed undesirable or dumb. I shudder to think about that now.
When I was in college, my same little brother who I scoffed at about possibly being a model told my family that he was gay. I was shocked when I heard because the girls always loved him. I just didn’t know how that could be possible. But as I talked to him, I found out that he had felt different ever since he was a young boy around age 8. He tried to hide who he was for a long time and pretend to be someone he wasn’t. He finally couldn’t do it anymore, and when he had the courage to speak out about who he really was, he was treated horribly by so many, including by church leadership who said he needed therapy to be fixed. Attitudes, knowledge, and acceptance towards LGBTQ+ individuals have changed a lot in my church since then, but I am so sorry for those like my brother who were not treated with the love they needed and deserved during their most vulnerable times.
My brother is one of the most remarkable people that I know. He is not grotesque. He is a beautiful person in every way imaginable. I have known many gay, lesbian, and bisexual people in my life and all of them have been kind, fun, smart, innovative, and amazing people. They are just as human and just as worthy of love as anybody else.
But, even knowing my brother was gay, and even having several gay and bisexual friends at work years ago, I haven’t always been at the point of loving and respecting them so much that I was always considerate of their feelings and of their experiences. That has come with time, and I am still working on that.
I do not know any transgender individuals yet, and the idea of transgenderism is still pretty new for me, though my feelings have changed quite a bit. I remember in 2015 when Bruce Jenner came out asking to be called Caitlyn, I was disgusted and weirded out. I remember thinking that there is no way that this was anything other than a publicity stunt. Someone on Facebook shared an article. It was written by a member of my church and it was entitled, “I’ll call you Caitlyn.” I was angry when I read it and thought this person was going against the gospel… but I have changed since then. Now when I read the article, I see someone trying to emulate the Savior and acting in accordance with His gospel.
If you have angry, judgmental feelings towards LGBTQ members of the human family – of God’s family, please get to know them. Treat them as human beings. Try to be able to fill in the blanks of the phrase “God doesn’t make mistakes and so…” in a more loving way, perhaps like this:
“God doesn’t make mistakes and so He wants me to learn to love others the way He loves them, no matter if they are different than me. He wants me to seek for understanding. He wants me to treat my LGBTQ+ brothers and sisters with respect and dignity. He wants me to offer them friendship and support and to acknowledge the persecution they endure just for being them. He wants me to help them feel welcomed into society and into the church as equals.”
Let’s talk about just one more thing God has given us.
Heavenly Father gave each person who will ever live the gift of moral agency, or the gift to choose how we think, what we say, and how we act in any given situation. How many times have we secretly wished that God would force people to do the right thing? How many times have we hoped that He would stop people from using their agency for the wrong? But, that isn’t His plan. How can we fill in the blank about agency, even when we see and feel the tragic effects of bloodshed, racism, vicious lies, betrayal, and other horrible acts of cruelty? Perhaps we have used our agency to do some of these awful things too.
“God doesn’t make mistakes, and so…____________________________.”
How would you fill this one in? It’s a very difficult one sometimes to understand. I might say, “God doesn’t make mistakes, and so he gave us agency so that we would have an opportunity to prove our worthiness to Him. God wants us to choose Him even when we can’t see Him. He wants us to come to Him in prayer to help us make the right choices. He wants us to mourn with and comfort those who need it. He wants us to reach out and help victims of other people’s wickedness. He wants us to forgive those who hurt us and He wants us to live worthy of the presence of the Holy Ghost so we can avoid making decisions that hurt others. He wants us to gain enough spiritual strength that we can withstand the temptations of Satan. He wants us to trust in our Savior, that He can cleanse us when we have sinned and He can make us whole when we are broken. He wants us to have a choice in our own salvation and He wants us to embrace our individual worth and recognize our divine nature. All this is possible only through the gift of agency.”
To my fellow Christians, I ask you to use your God-given agency to make room in your hearts, in your friendships, and in your church for all people.
God does not make mistakes – we do. As we learn to see His wisdom in every gift, every creation, and every individual facet of a child of God, differences and all, we will make less mistakes and make more good choices. We will be more loving, more merciful, more compassionate, more like Him.
When I was at church on Sunday, I had to go to the bathroom (I know, TMI, but I have a point, I promise). When I entered, I saw the toilet seat up. I smiled a little, knowing it was freshly cleaned. At that moment, a memory from kindergarten came rushing back to my mind.
I am almost 37 years old, so that was a long time ago. But, here is what I remember:
A girl in my class came rushing into the classroom after going to the bathroom exclaiming something like, “Ew, Ross went into the girls’ bathroom. I can tell because the seat was up!”
My little five-year-old self was shocked that this boy, Ross Wheeler, would go into the girls’ bathroom. The girl laughed at him, and I joined in because it was just so silly and gross.
My teacher, Ms. Fisher, noticed this exchange, and came up to the girl and me, and perhaps others. She then informed us that when bathrooms are cleaned, the seat is left up to show that it is clean. Ross had not in fact used the girls’ bathroom and it was not nice of us to say that he did.
I believed my teacher and moved on with my life, but I don’t remember if I apologized to Ross. To be honest, I probably didn’t. I was a good kid, but at that young age, I didn’t see any harm in what had happened. Ross was often the subject of jokes and laughter at his expense.
Now, I don’t remember many things from kindergarten, and this memory is definitely an obscure one. But, as the memory came back to me on Sunday, I realized just how profound it really was and that God wanted me to remember it.
I even talked to my kids in the van about it on the way home from church. I told the story and then I told them that we often make mean accusations out of ignorance, like the girl did. Some of us blindly believe those accusations without checking the facts, like I did. We are unkind to the accused, thinking we have that right because we have predetermined that the person’s worth is less than ours.
Then there are the wise people who have found the truth and have the courage to kindly share it, thus giving us an opportunity to learn and grow from our mistakes in judgment, like my teacher did.
We then have a choice – do we listen to the wise person who has the truth, or do we cling onto what we want to be true because it’s more fun or controversial?
And then if we do listen, what do we do about it? Do we just quietly move on, or do we acknowledge our faults and make things right? Do we go a step farther and work to prevent further events like that from happening?
I am pretty sure that since I don’t remember apologizing to Ross and then becoming his friend and advocate that I probably didn’t. I was only five, so I can’t be too hard on myself, but I truly wonder how Ross felt that day at school, and every other day.
I don’t remember clearly why he was made fun of so often, but I know looking back there was no good reason. Nobody deserves that kind of treatment just because they may be a little different.
I truly wish that I had befriended him – that I had had the courage to stand up to the bullies and be the friend Ross so desperately needed.
How many Rosses are in our lives, either in our circle or just someone we hear about on the news? How do we help them? Do we help them? Do we even realize they need help?
Tears are falling as I write this, because even though the story I am sharing isn’t earth-shattering, it teaches me such great lessons. I’m grateful that God helped me remember this.
I have grown up a lot since age five, and I do truly want to be more like my teacher. I want to be an advocate of truth, and I want to be an advocate for the persecuted as well. It bring a lot of fulfillment, peace and joy, knowing that what you are spreading is good for you and those around you.
I invite all of you to ponder on this little story as well! Search out those Rosses and give them the love and support they need. And help the truth of their worth, and other realities related to them, be known so they won’t be needless targets of unkindness.
For there are many yet on the earth among all sects, parties, and denominations, who are blinded by the subtle craftiness of men, whereby they lie in wait to deceive, and who are only kept from the truth because they know not where to find it. (Doctrine and Covenants 123:12)
This verse of scripture by the prophet Joseph Smith weighs heavily on my heart today. This topic of truth and where to find it has been on my mind so much lately, and I feel strongly it’s time to write about it, particularly in relation to American politics in the media.
Americans across the political spectrum have very different opinions of where they can find truth. I see too often online where people blatantly scrutinize certain news sources and those who read them, while completely believing what they read from other news sources. Do you see the problem with this?
Let’s talk about what a biased news source is. Well, it’s a source of information that appeals to just one side. In order to do that, the news source has to withhold information that would go against the perspectives, stances, and values of the side it is writing for. It also has to withhold information that would show any uprightness and sense from the opposing side(s). Sometimes, depending on the news source, there is not only withholding of important contextual information, but telling of actual lies in order to bring fear, doubt, and panic. These biased new sources write for those who only want truth that confirms the beliefs they already hold. In so doing, they cause division and bad feelings that often are not merited.
If we only read and watch news media that pats us on the back for our beliefs and puts down those who are different, we will never seek or find understanding and common ground. We will always be divided and we will always negatively judge those who don’t align with us. That is not good!
I understand that if we are very passionate about our political stances that it can be alarming, disheartening, and even scary to read about happenings in the country that seemingly threaten our ideals and perspectives, or would cause us to question our loyalty to a person or party. But, are leaders we follow or a party we align with the most important parts of who we are? What does it say about us if we refuse to see reason or red flags? In contrast, what does it say about us when we put America, humanity, ethics, and common decency above party? Perhaps we should all think about the most important loyalties we should cleave to when we make our decisions about truths we look for and accept.
Now, are all media outlets biased, and how would we even know?
Well, I have read articles from news sources, and posts from people claiming to be experts on politics, all over the spectrum. Here are some signs I have found of bias and untruths (this is not all-inclusive, and not all biased news sources will have all):
Accusations and assumptions are made without any proof or without substantial proof.
There are no cited sources, or the sources cited are of only one side of the political spectrum.
The cited sources used to prove someone’s perspective or character are from years past, with no effort to cite current statements or analyze current character.
The writing is fueled by anger, hate, and insults.
The writer’s personal opinion takes precedent over fact-telling.
The information presented seems incomplete or doesn’t make sense, yet there is no mention of the holes or ongoing investigations to fill them.
There are only positive things written about one side, while facts about the other side are all negative.
Blanket statements are made about a party without recognizing individual beliefs and platforms of a leader or candidate.
Blame is always put on the other side.
The article justifies wrongdoings within one party and then condemns the wrongdoings of another.
Predictions of how awful life would be under the leadership of another party are rampant.
After reading it, readers will have no sense of positive understanding towards sides other than their own.
After reading it, readers will feel superior in their viewpoints, party, and leadership, feeling no need for growth.
I would say that all news outlets have some bias, as they do choose what to report on and what not to report on, based on what they feel is most important, but there will be a lot of differences in media that is trying to be balanced:
There will be many quotes from all sides of the political spectrum with sources cited.
Great detail about any event will be provided, usually from start to finish, with updates as they come in.
Opinions of the author will not be used. Any opinions will be quotes from those who would have influence over the situation.
Anger, hatred, and insults will not be involved in the writing, unless people relevant to the situation are being quoted. Quotes like this will come from all over the spectrum, not just one side.
Blanket statements are not made, but rather each leader and member of a party are recognized for individual beliefs and platforms.
Accusations and theories will be fact-checked in detail with sources cited.
What is written will sometimes trouble readers and make them uncomfortable, perhaps leading them to question things and people they have believed in and supported.
My aunt sent me a Media Bias Chart several months ago, and I have used it in my search for centered, and as unbiased as possible truth. It has been very helpful to me. Here it is:
This isn’t a perfect representation of bias, but I have found it to be pretty accurate. Where does your reading material fall? If you are reading items on one of the far sides, I would encourage you to add to it and read some more of the centered articles, as they are sure to include more fact, context, and relevant information to help you draw more balanced conclusions based on current events.
This chart does not analyze visual media or talk radio, but all we have talked about regarding bias still applies. And be very careful with videos and pictures that show alarming “truths.” Videos and pictures can easily be edited to present any desired message.
I want you to ask yourself if you are afraid of a political party. Ask yourself if you believe a political party is evil. Ask yourself if you think one political party only lies while your political party always tells the truth. Ask yourself if you think that your party is God’s party. Ask yourself if you think that leadership under a political party other than yours will destroy the country. And now ask yourself why you think that and if that is a fair assessment.
Do you really believe everyone who isn’t a part of your political party, or who didn’t vote for your candidate is evil, godless, lying, and a threat to our freedom as we enjoy it? Think of what that would imply and how that would affect your relationships with everyone around you.
Regardless of your political viewpoints, it is a fact that there will be good and bad to come from your party or your chosen leadership. I have said all along that there is good in all parties – they just have different views on what is best for our country and what the best means are to help and improve our country.
There will also be bad apples in every party and from leaders of those parties. If there is a bad apple in yours, it doesn’t mean you are a bad person, and people in other parties should not call names or judge you. It also doesn’t mean you have to continue to follow the bad apples simply because of your party choice. We are all more than our party and we have power to make positive change in our country and in our world. We just need to stand for truth and for goodness always. That can make us uncomfortable. It can stretch us. But that is a good thing. It shows humility, a desire for growth, and selflessness.
In order for us to make positive change, in order for us to seek understanding and unite with those who are different than us, in order for us to be a good example and persuade others to do good, we must seek for truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
After your study, if you still find yourself confused or lost, pray for help to recognize the truth and to accept it, regardless of how it may change you.
And after these prayers, when you finally find that balanced, detailed truth, free from omission, lies, and manipulation, what do you with it?
You share it. It takes courage to do it, and people will even oppose you for it.
Elder Lawrence E. Corbridge said, “Opposition, criticism, and antagonism are companions to the truth…Look for the biggest dust cloud billowing above the most dirt that is kicked at One who was most opposed, challenged, and rejected, beaten, abandoned, and crucified, One who descended below all things, and there you will find the truth, the Son of God, the Savior of all mankind. Why did they not leave Him alone? Why? Because He is the truth, and the truth will always be opposed.”
I love this quote. It’s heartbreaking, but so inspiring. Our Savior, Jesus Christ is the truth. To stand for truth, we must stand for Him. We must emulate Him. We must stand for events that emulate His qualities and goodness, and we must boldly stand against events that tear down all He stands for.
Bringing light to the world is what will help bring peace, healing and unity. It isn’t in the defending of darkness disguised as light.
If you hear me stand for truth and right, and against wrong, it is not because I am a hater of a particular person or party. That will never be my reasoning, as I do not define myself by a party and I do not align myself to any leader with unwavering loyalty. No, the only person who I must have unwavering loyalty to is God. If you aren’t a believer in God, then have unwavering loyalty to the cause of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness for all Americans. I also have an unwavering loyalty to that beautiful cause that should unite America because this cause aligns with God’s plan for His children.
I hope that my words have given food for thought. I am not an expert and I am continuously working on my own biases, but I don’t have hate or fear in my heart. For that I am so grateful. It brings a freedom that you can only describe if you have felt it. I want that freedom for all. It starts with finding truth. I wish you the best as you search for it and find it.
[bctt tweet=”Remember, my friends, truth does not always align with us, so maybe we should align ourselves with truth.” username=”mrsapplejelly”]
It may not always be easy, convenient, or politically correct to stand for truth and right, but it is the right thing to do. Always.
This has been such a hard year for all of us. For some it has been harder than others. Today, though, I felt the Holy Ghost remind me that my Savior loves me, and I can truly feel His love all around me.
Not everyone feels His love – not everyone knows it is there. I can help others feel His love and warmth, and one great way to do that is to lovingly participate in #LighttheWorld.
I’m inviting everyone who needs to feel joy, hope, and love, and everyone who already feels it, to take a little time each day this month to make someone’s day a little brighter.
Here is the calendar for Light the World, or you can just text LIGHT to 71234.
Thank you for the light you shine already. I know God loves each of you and has high hopes and wishes for you. He knows you have God-given gifts and abilities to shine your light to the world.
This afternoon I felt the Holy Ghost prompting me to record a video and just express what is in my heart. It is almost 10 minutes. I cry and look like a hot mess with my leaky face, but I hope it inspires.
For all of the elections I have been old enough to vote in, I have used this conviction as a major and main factor in choosing my president. Thus, I have always voted Republican, and have felt a duty to do so as a defender of the unborn.
Earlier this year, though, Jad and I decided for multiple reasons to become unaffiliated. We mostly did it so we wouldn’t feel boxed into a party and so we could be more well-rounded and free-thinking. It has felt amazing because without guilt we can consider all parties equally and choose candidates who at this time fit our needs and desires, and the needs of our country, the most.
Because I am unaffiliated, but mostly because I have been unsure of who to vote for this election, I have taken the time to really learn about each of the four main candidates. I even prayed about the election before watching my church’s General Conference the first weekend in October. I heard so many profound and recurring themes to help me ponder on exactly what our country needs right now to thrive.
After really studying Conference in this way, I realized for the first time that to be pro-life, I must truly think about ALL life, including those in our country who are suffering for any reason, be it racism, inequality, poverty, etc. That means that in my research for the best presidential candidate, I can’t just look at each candidate’s abortion stances, but also at their stances for all living people who need a voice for positive change.
On October 6, I wrote this post on Facebook:
I want to make something incredibly clear, and this is coming from a person who is unequivocally Pro-life: It is unfair, unkind, and incredibly judgmental to say that people who are Pro-choice and/or Democrats are hateful, evil, baby-killers who are going to rot in Hell. It makes me cringe when I hear people be so hateful to the living while professing to be Pro-life. A Pro-life person should love all human life! It doesn’t make sense to defend the unborn and then make vicious accusations to the living – people who are all around you trying to do the best they can. If you are really Pro-life you will consider the BEST ways to prevent abortions. And you will make sure ALL babies, once born and throughout their whole lives, are treated with love, respect, equality, and dignity. It’s not just about the right to be born – it’s about the right to live your best life. God commanded us to love one another. He never said to only love those who agree with everything we do. I truly believe that most of us want what is best for humanity, but we just have different ways of fighting for it. But let us stand tall and set good examples rather than fan flames of anger and hatred. That will never help any good cause, no matter how passionate we are about it. Please, please, if you profess to be Pro-life, be Pro-life for all – the unborn and born, the young and the old, the male and the female, the gay and the straight, the black and the white, the poor and the rich, the healthy and the sick, the educated and the uneducated, the natural-born citizen and the immigrant, the Christian and the Atheist, and everybody in between. We are all worthy of God’s love because we are all His children. Let us spread His love.
Does this new conviction mean that my goal is now to forget the unborn and only think of the living? Not at all, but I have realized that in order to choose my presidential candidate wisely, I have to better balance my conviction to protect the unborn with my conviction to make life better for every living human being, even if that balance means possibly choosing a pro-choice candidate.
This isn’t easy to do since, though I’m ashamed to admit it, I have often felt uncomfortable with Christians, especially members of my church, voting Democrat.
This is a clear point of concern and confusion for many people in my church, as was made evident as I read the comments on the letter our First Presidency wrote regarding its political neutrality and how there is good in each party. Sadly, for as many positive comments I saw, just as many were unkind and divisive. I saw too many people angrily accuse people voting Democrat as being un-Christlike and wicked, and that bothered me a lot. These reactions were the opposite of our leaders’ counsel to be kind in political discourse.
For all of these reasons, I have decided to take the time to research abortion – why women get abortions; what is Roe V. Wade really about and what has been done in the past to overturn it; what is the truth about pro-choice candidate’s views on partial-birth and late-term abortions; what do Joe Biden’s plans for Women’s Reproductive Health mean for abortion; and has the abortion rate gone down in recent years and why?
This research has greatly informed me and given me comfort and hope.
Firstly, why do women have abortions?
I read many articles about this, citing studies from multiple years, but the patterns remain overall the same:
The vast majority of women who get abortions are living in poverty and cannot afford a child (About 70-75%)
The vast majority of women having abortions are single mothers (about 65-70%).
Almost half of women who have abortions have already had an abortion previously.
The most common reason provided for having an abortion is that pregnancy would interfere with education, work or ability to care for dependents. Normally 2-3 reasons are chosen, though.
Most women who have had an abortion are already mothers.
Most women who have abortions are in their 20s.
About half of women who get an abortion had an unintended pregnancy, most often from not taking contraception or not taking it consistently.
Less than 1% of abortions occur because of rape, health of the mother, or incest.
I read this analysis from one study that I thought was very well-rounded and addressed these issues well:
“Identifying one single approach that will address every woman’s concerns and change her mind is difficult, given the multiplicity of the reasons and rationales given by women for seeking abortion. Some will be benefited by being connected to better support systems, while others need practical economic assistance. Anything making men more responsible for the children they father will go a long way towards helping many of these women care for their children. Yet abortion’s legality and the implied social sanction that comes with it is clearly a major part of the cultural machinery that forces these cruel choices on women, that lets men off the hook, that leaves women to care for households of children all alone, and that makes society less accommodating to the demands of motherhood. Collectively such factors may conspire to force many of these women to consider an option that goes totally against their nurturing natures and pit the needs of one or more of their children against another. If we believe the survey, most of the women seeking to abort here did so, not because they were triumphantly exercising their “power to choose,” but because they felt like–given the circumstances–they had no other realistic choice.”
Secondly, what is Roe vs Wade about, and can it be overturned?
History.com explains, “On Jan 22, 1973, the Supreme Court, in a 7-2 decision, struck down the Texas law banning abortion, effectively legalizing the procedure nationwide. In a majority opinion written by Justice Harry Blackmun, the court declared that a woman’s right to an abortion was implicit in the right to privacy protected by the 14th Amendment. The court divided pregnancy into three trimesters, and declared that the choice to end a pregnancy in the first trimester was solely up to the woman. In the second trimester, the government could regulate abortion, although not ban it, in order to protect the mother’s health. In the third trimester, the state could prohibit abortion to protect a fetus that could survive on its own outside the womb, except when a woman’s health was in danger.”
The decision for Roe V. Wade centered around the 14th Amendment’s right to privacy:
The 14th Amendment‘s Due Process clause states: No state shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any state deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.
Overturning Roe v. Wade has been a hope of people like me (pro-lifers) for a long time, and many hope that President Trump will be the one to do it. I did quite a bit of research, and here is what I found out:
For 49 of the last 50 years, there has been a Republican majority on the Supreme Court. Even when Roe V. Wade was passed, there was a Republican majority on the Supreme Court. Five out of the six Republican justices were for it.
One perfect time presented to overturn Roe V Wade was in 1992 with the Planned Parenthood V. Casey case, but it did not happen. In fact, this case ended up outlawing restrictions putting an undue burden on women seeking abortions. Justices Sandra Day O’Connor, David Souter, and Anthony Kennedy, all nominated by Republican presidents, supported this action.
Another perfect time to overturn Roe V Wade was in 2005 with The Sanctity of Life Act. The Republicans were in the majority in both houses of Congress and many of these Republicans were endorsed by pro-life groups, as was the president. Yet this bill never passed.
In 2018, when Justice Brett Kavanaugh was confirmed to the Supreme Court, many wondered if he would help overturn Roe V. Wade. But, instead, during his confirmation hearings, Justice Kavanaugh reportedly told Senator Susan Collins that the Supreme Court’s decisions “become part of our legal framework with the passage of time.” He also said honoring prior Supreme Court decisions is essential to maintaining public confidence in the Court.
Even with all this past evidence of it not being overturned, if Roe V Wade is somehow overturned, abortion will not be illegal. The purpose of RVW was to prohibit states from banning abortion completely. Without it, some states could potentially ban abortion completely, but it would not end abortion in our country. Read what some states have done already here.
Thirdly, do Democrats and other pro-choice parties encourage and champion partial-birth and late-term abortion?
Firstly, it’s important to know how often these types of abortions happen. Based on the studies I read, over 90% of abortions occur during the first trimester. About 1% of abortions happen after 21 weeks.
Also, only 1% of pregnancies end in abortion. It’s still too many, but it’s comforting to know it isn’t as common a practice as some people think.
Joe Biden recently said, in response to the possible appointment of Amy Coney Barrett as the new Supreme Court justice: “The only responsible response to that would be to pass legislation making Roe the law of the land. That’s what I would do.”
President Trump’s response to this statement was, “Biden and Democrats just clarified the fact that they are fully in favor of (very) LATE TERM ABORTION, right up until the time of birth, and beyond – which would be execution.”
Biden also said, “It’s a woman’s right to do that. Period.”
Biden has made many points about Roe V. Wade and abortion over the years that may be helpful to review.
Jo Jorgensen, Libertarian candidate says this about abortion: “I am personally opposed to abortion, but I am unwilling to vote to use the power of the state to impose my views on other women.” She has also said, “Keep the government out of it, no subsidies, no regulations.”
And this is what Howie Hawkins’ view is: “I support the legal framework established in the Roe v. Wade decision. During the first trimester, it is up to the pregnant woman to decide whether to get an abortion. During the second trimester laws can only regulate abortion to protect the health of the mother. During the third trimester, or after fetal viability pursuant to Planned Parenthood v. Casey (1992), laws can restrict or prohibit abortions except in cases where it was necessary to protect the mother’s health. This framework should be codified into federal law by an act of Congress. I oppose targeted regulation of abortion clinics and providers through laws or policies that go beyond what is necessary to ensure patients’ safety. I support laws that allow physicians as well as non-physician health professionals, including physicians’ assistants, nurse practitioners, and certified nurse midwives, to perform abortion procedures.”
Hawkins also believes that providing birth control, sex education, and more social services will help reduce the number of abortions.
The rhetoric surrounding supporting partial birth abortions and late-term abortions seems to be more a reaction and interpretation rather than a reality for pro-choicers, especially since there is already a federal law in place to outlaw partial-birth abortions, called the Partial-Birth Abortion Ban Act of 2003.
Regarding late-term abortion, it is a term for abortions happening at 21 weeks gestation or more. As mentioned above, thankfully only 1% of abortions happen during this time span.
Dr. Barbara Levy explained, “Abortions later in pregnancy typically occur because of two general indications: lethal fetal anomalies or threats to the health of the mother.”
Fourthly, what do Joe Biden’s platforms for Women’s Reproductive Health mean for abortion?
Here is what his website states:
The Affordable Care Act made historic progress ensuring access to free preventive care, including contraception. The Biden Plan will build on that progress. Vice President Biden supports repealing the Hyde Amendment because health care is a right that should not be dependent on one’s zip code or income. And, the public option will cover contraception and a woman’s constitutional right under Roe v. Wade. Biden will also:
Stop state laws violating Roe v. Wade. Biden will work to codify Roe v. Wade, and his Justice Department will do everything in its power to stop the rash of state laws that so blatantly violate Roe v. Wade.
Restore federal funding for Planned Parenthood. The Obama-Biden Administration fought Republican attacks on funding for Planned Parenthood again and again. As President, Biden will reissue guidance specifying that states cannot refuse Medicaid funding for Planned Parenthood and other providers and reverse the Trump Administration’s rule preventing these organizations from obtaining Title X funds.
Just as the Obama-Biden Administration did, rescind the Mexico City Policy (also referred to as the global gag rule) that President Trump reinstated and expanded. This rule currently bars the U.S. federal government from supporting important global health efforts — including for malaria and HIV/AIDS — in developing countries simply because the organizations providing that aid also offer information on abortion services.
Restore the Affordable Care Act’s contraception mandate in place before the U.S. Supreme Court’s Hobby Lobby decision. The recent U.S. Supreme Court decision makes it easier for the Trump-Pence Administration to continue to strip health care from women — attempting to carve out broad exemptions to the Affordable Care Act’s commitment to giving all women free access to recommended contraception. Biden will restore the Obama-Biden policy that existed before the Hobby Lobby ruling: providing an exemption for houses of worship and an accommodation for nonprofit organizations with religious missions. The accommodation will allow women at these organizations to access contraceptive coverage, not through their employer-provided plan, but instead through their insurance company or a third-party administrator.
Let’s talk about each of these:
Repealing of the Hyde Amendment: The Hyde Amendment does not allow Medicaid federal funding to pay for abortions except in instances of rape, incest or to save the life of the mother. Biden supported the amendment for a long time, but has just recently changed his viewpoint because “I can’t justify leaving millions of women without access to the care they need and the ability … to exercise their constitutional protected right.” Biden had always been for this amendment until he started running for president and felt pressure from other Democratic runners. It remains to be seen if he will change his mind again. I personally am in favor of the Hyde amendment, as a pro-lifer, but also understand why someone who was concerned with women’s rights would disagree with my sentiment.
Codifying Roe V Wade: The goal is to create congressional legislation protecting a woman’s right to choose an abortion in each state, even if RVW is overturned. We already learned that overturning RVW would not make abortion illegal, and states would have their say on abortion laws. Based on this proposal, no state could flat-out ban abortion, but it does not specify the regulations that each state could make.
Reinstating federal funding for Planned Parenthood: Perfactcheck.org, Planned Parenthood “provides reproductive health care to women nationwide. It offers a variety of services, including abortions, birth control, emergency contraception, general health testing and screenings for sexually transmitted diseases.” I remember when Trump stopped funding Planned Parenthood, I was so happy. I remember as well many of my friends being horrified by it because they chose to focus on the life-saving good that Planned Parenthood does for women and men, especially those in poverty.I had seen charts back then regarding the very small percentage of PP’s work that goes towards abortions, but didn’t want to think about that. It remains true, however, that PP’s abortion services account only a small percentage of their health services, though the exact percentage has been up for debate (they say 3%,but by some it has been interpreted differently based on the costs surrounding each service). You can read this document and this document that help explain more of what they do.There are good, Christian people on both sides of this argument.
Rescinding the Mexico City Policy : The Mexico City Policy was introduced in 1985 and has been rescinded and reinstated multiple times (rescinded by Democrats and reinstated by Republicans). We must decide if supporting global health efforts for developing countries is worth it, even if such health efforts also sometimes include abortion.
Reinstating the ACA Contraception Mandate: Burwell vs. Hobby Lobby Stores in 2014 ruled that a for-profit company can refuse to provide free contraceptives to their employees based on their religious beliefs. Biden wants to go back to the original ACA policy that only churches and non-profit religious organizations can say no to providing free contraceptives based on their beliefs. We must decide what is most important to us: reducing abortions through access to free contraceptives, or religious liberty for for-profit organizations. It’s not an easy thing to weigh, but it must be weighed. *Note: a friend of mine reminded me that millions of women use birth control for non-contraceptive reasons, but rather for health-related reasons. With this ruling, women working for for-profit organizations who are against birth control, are unable to get the care they need at the cost the need– something else to consider.
Finally, has the abortion rate gone down in recent years, and why?
The best news that I found in my research is that yes, abortion rates have been in steady decline, which is wonderful! The CDC reported in 2018 that the national abortion rate declined 26% between 2006 and 2015, reaching a historic low.
As we talked about earlier, most abortions have been due to unwanted pregnancies. In the same study, the CDC reported that the number of unintended pregnancies decreased from 51% in 2008 to 45% between 2011 and 2013, noting that more women using contraception and more effective forms of contraception like intrauterine devices, might be factors.
Alina Salganicoff, director of women’s health policy for the nonpartisan Kaiser Family Foundation said, “If your priority is to reduce abortions, one of the best things you can do is make sure that women have access to high-quality, affordable and effective methods of birth control.”
The CDC also reported that the availability of abortion providers and regulations such as mandatory waiting periods and parental consent could also be contributing to fewer women having abortions.
Per the CDC, between 2006 and 2015, the abortion rate for girls between 15 and 19 plummeted 54%. Some reasons for that are more teens being abstinent, as well as teens who are sexually active more likely to use birth control. Some experts have also said that better sex education has reduced teen pregnancy. Teen pregnancy rates are also down, reaching a record low in 2017.
Colorado has been very successful at reducing teen pregnancy. You can read about what they have done here.
The Guttmacher Institute also reported on the decline in abortion rates last year, focusing on 2011-2017. Their research correlates well with that of the CDC, and they also reported: “While 32 states enacted 394 restrictions between 2011 and 2017, nearly every state had a lower abortion rate in 2017 than in 2011, regardless of whether it had restricted abortion access. Several states with new restrictions actually had abortion rate increases.”
To be fair, the Guttmacher Institute is a pro-choice institute, so I looked for a study/analysis of the abortion decrease from an educated. Christian pro-lifer named Joe Carter from 2018. He had some skepticism about both the CDC’s and Guttmacher Institute’s studies, but at the conclusion of his analysis on why abortion rates have decreased, he said,
“There seems to be no clear answer. If we had to hazard a guess, though, we could say that it’s likely a combination of fewer teens having sex, increased contraceptive use, lower rates of unintended pregnancies, increased opposition to abortion by the young, and a greater willingness to have a child after an unintended pregnancy.”
So, even with his initial skepticism, his findings match that of the CDC and Guttmacher Institute very well.
There are people in both major political parties that claim that their party has been better at helping the abortion rate decline based on their chosen approaches. What I hear a lot right now is that Republicans want to make abortion illegal and Democrats want to make it unnecessary.
Here is what Snopes has verified regarding the claim that abortion rates go down more under Democrat presidents:
What’s True
“The abortion rate has steadily declined since the 1980s throughout both Democratic and Republican administrations, with a greater rate of decline during the former.”
What’s False
“The reasons behind differing rates of decline in the abortion rate cannot be definitively tied to actions undertaken by the administrations of different political parties.”
So, yes, it is true that abortion rates decline more during Democratic presidents, but there is no clear reason why.
I think my favorite quote I found about reducing abortions is this: “The one strategy for reducing abortions that has been proven to work runs through love, not power: support for women who may not feel able to carry a pregnancy to term. This requires not blind allegiance to a political party but the promotion of a culture of life.”
So, what have I learned from all this research?
Women who choose to have an abortion most often do so because they don’t think there is another, better option. It isn’t because they are evil or heartless. They just need help. We must each responsibly research which candidates are addressing poverty, education, and easy access to contraceptives to help reduce the perceived need for abortions. Getting rid of the root causes for abortion will take away the need for them.
Republican presidents have been unable to overturn Roe V. Wade for the last almost 50 years, even though they tried multiple times and had a Republican majority in the Supreme Court. Supreme Court judges are supposed to be impartial in their rulings, though, which is likely why it has not been overturned. Even if somehow Roe V. Wade is overturned, the states would have power to make their own laws which could potentially be better than the current regulations, but could in other cases be less humane.
Partial-birth abortion is illegal in the United States. Late-term abortion is a term used for abortions over 21 weeks gestation, and only 1% of abortions happen beyond that time. It isn’t good, but it is not as huge of an issue as suggested.
Joe Biden’s platforms for Women’s Reproductive Health are food for thought as there is potential good in nearly all of them. We must just personally all weigh what is most important to us.
The abortion rate is decreasing every year, and it has many contributing factors. Democratic administrations have actually brought more decrease in abortions, but the reasons are unclear.
I didn’t know hardly any of this information before I started researching. I hope this analysis can help ease the minds of pro-lifers like myself who have held negative views about Christians who vote any other way than Republican. It has certainly helped me, and I hope that any pro-lifer who is unsure how to vote this election, or in any election, can feel at peace considering many candidates rather than just one.
I also want to say that I greatly respect Republican presidents for their devotion in protecting the lives of the unborn. They are using their convictions in the way they feel is best. This post was in no way meant to suggest otherwise.
No matter what stance you take on abortion rights, or who you choose to vote for, know that you have my respect and love. I hope we can all respect each other in the choices we make and convictions we hold.
I am pro-life and I am pro-living, and I’m proud of that!
I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and have been my entire life. Twice a year, my family and I spend a Saturday and Sunday watching several sessions of General Conference, a worldwide conference where we listen to prophets, apostles, and other men and women called of God speak to us regarding how we can be more like Jesus Christ through living His gospel.
We are always encouraged to prepare for Conference with a question to be answered. We are asked to pray for an answer to that question and then watch conference with an open heart and mind, listening for that answer.
This particular Conference my question was one weighing heavily on my heart: who should I vote for in the upcoming 2020 presidential election?
I knew that I would not hear a name in Conference, for my church does not endorse a particular political party. In fact, the first president just today reiterated that in a letter to American Latter-day Saints:
“Principles compatible with the gospel may be found in various political parties, and members should seek candidates who best embody those principles.”
The First Presidency
Regardless of that knowledge, I still wanted to hear what qualities and issues that would be most important for me to study and consider as I work diligently to choose the worthiest candidate.
I can tell you most emphatically that my prayer was answered over the weekend. I still don’t have the name, but I do know what I will be focusing on to make my decision as to who will best lead this country and change it for the good of all Americans.
These were the topics I found most poignant as I listened to conference. The question I am asking myself, and I hope you will ask yourself, is who will best take action on these important and essential issues that shape our society?
The ideal presidential candidate, based on teachings in General Conference, will be devoted to:
Rooting out Racism/Prejudice/Inequality
“As citizens and as members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we must do better to help root out racism…This country should be better in eliminating racism, not only against Black Americans, who were most visible in the recent protests, but also against Latinos, Asians and other groups. This nation’s history of racism is not a happy one and we must do better.”
President Dallin H. Oaks
“The Savior’s ministry and message have consistently declared all races and colors are children of God. We are all brothers and sisters.”
Elder Quentin L. Cook
“Each of us has a divine potential because each is a child of God. Each is equal in His eyes. …Brothers and sisters, please listen carefully to what I am about to say. God does not love one race more than another. His doctrine on this matter is clear. He invites all to come unto Him, ‘black and white, bond and free, male and female’ (2 Nephi 26:33). I assure you that your standing before God is not determined by the color of your skin. Favor or disfavor with God is dependent upon your devotion to God and His commandments, and not the color of your skin.”
President Russel M. Nelson
Speaking of the Culture of Christ: “…. It espouses the concept of equal worth…There is no prejudice……The worth of souls is great… It is inclusive, not exclusive… This dispels prejudice and hatred.”
Elder William K. Jackson
Speaking of the Culture of Christ: “In the culture of Christ, women are elevated to their proper and eternal status. They are not subservient to men…but full and equal partners here and in the world to come.”
Elder William K. Jackson
Building UnityNot Division
“Unity doesn’t magically happen; it takes work. It’s messy, sometimes it’s uncomfortable, and it happens gradually when we clear away the bad as fast as the good can grow. We are never alone in our efforts to create unity.”
Sister Sharon Eubank
Speaking of the City of Enoch, “They were of one heart and of one mind.”
Elder D. Todd Christofferson, quoting Moses 7:19
Speaking of the Culture of Christ: “It unites rather than divides. [There is no] or us vs. them mentality…We are all ‘us.’ We are all ‘them…”
Elder William K. Jackson
“The millions who have accepted the gospel of Jesus Christ have committed themselves to achieving both righteousness and unity. We are all aware that we can do better, and that is our challenge in this day. We can be a force to lift and bless society as a whole…We can be an oasis of unity and celebrate diversity. Unity and diversity are not opposites. We can achieve greater unity as we foster an atmosphere of inclusion and respect for diversity.”
Elder Quentin L. Cook
“Unity is enhanced when people are treated with dignity and respect even when they are different in outward characteristics.”
Elder Quentin L. Cook
Respecting Rather than Hating Those Who Have Differing Opinions
“In a democratic government, we will always have differences over proposed candidates and policies. However, as followers of Christ we must forgo the anger and hatred with which political choices are debated or denounced in many settings.”
President Dallin H. Oaks
Spreading Optimism Rather than Panic and Fear
“As we face challenges, we can rely upon the promise of the Lord taught by Paul: ‘For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind’ ” (1 Timothy 1:7).
Elder Kelly R. Johnson
“‘Be of good cheer’ is the commandment from the Lord, not be of good fear.”
Elder Jeremy R. Jaggi
Vocally and Actively Following Christ
“Of all the zealous social, religious and political endeavors of our day, let ‘disciple of Jesus Christ’ be our most pronounced and affirming affiliation.”
Elder Jeremy R. Jaggi
“As the world speaks less of Jesus Christ, let us speak more of Him…We care more about being His followers than being ‘liked’ by our own followers.”
Elder Neil L. Andersen
“By following Jesus’ example, we will avoid many tragedies and undesirable behaviors that might cause family problems and disagreements, negative emotions and inclinations, perpetrating injustices and abuses, enslavement by evil addictions, and anything else that would be against the Lord’s commandments.”
Elder Ulisses Soares
Eliminating Poverty
“I speak of the poor whom the Savior told us never to forget…”
Elder Jeffrey R. Holland
“In the household of faith there are to be no strangers, no foreigners, no rich and poor, no outside others.”
Elder Gerrit W. Gong
Speaking of the Culture of Christ: “There is no recognition of caste or class…”
Elder William K. Jackson
Speaking of the City of Enoch, “…and there was no poor among them.”
Elder D. Todd Christofferson, quoting Moses 7:18
Helping Americans Get Through All the Difficulties of COVID-19
*Our church leaders set an excellent example during conference by sitting six feet apart and wearing masks when they weren’t speaking. There was no audience. Also, Elder Gerrit Gong recorded his talk in advance because he had possible been exposed to the virus. This shows just how seriously they are taking COVID-19 and how much they respect each other’s health, as we should.
“Amid social distancing, face masks and Zoom meetings, we have learned to do some things differently, and some even more effectively. Unusual times can bring unusual rewards.”
President Russel M. Nelson
“I doubt there is a person who hears my voice or reads my words who has not been affected by the world-wide pandemic. To those who mourn the loss of family and friends, we mourn with you. We plead with Heavenly Father to comfort and console you. The long-term consequences of this virus go beyond physical health. Many families have lost incomes and are threatened with hunger, uncertainty, and apprehension. We admire the selfless efforts of so many to prevent the spread of this disease. We are humbled by the quiet sacrifice and noble efforts of those who have risked their own safety to assist, heal and support people in need. Our hearts are full of gratitude for your goodness and compassion.”
Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf
“We will endure this, yes. But we will do more than simply grit our teeth, hold on and wait for things to return to the old normal. We will move forward, and we will be better as a result.”
Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf
MaintainingLaw and Order
“[Obeying the laws of the land] does not mean that we agree with all that is done with the force of law. It means that we obey the current law and use peaceful means to change it. It also means that we peacefully accept the results of elections. We will not participate in the violence threatened by those disappointed with the outcome. In a democratic society we always have the opportunity and the duty to persist peacefully until the next election.”
President Dallin H. Oaks
“Abraham Lincoln was right when he said, ‘There is no grievance that is a fit object of redress by mob law.’ Redress of grievances by mobs is redress by illegal means. That is anarchy, a condition that has no effective governance and no formal police, which undermines rather than protects individual rights.”
President Dallin H. Oaks
“Though Jesus’s teachings were revolutionary, He did not teach revolution or law-breaking. He taught a better way.”
President Dallin H. Oaks
“Redress of grievances by mobs is redress by illegal means. That is anarchy, a condition that has no effective governance and no formal police, which undermines rather than protects individual rights.”
President Dallin H. Oaks
Showing Mercy and Compassion to Those He/She Serves
“We often think of substance in terms of food or money, but perhaps what we all need more of in our ministering is mercy.”
Sister Sharon Eubank
“The Lord is always looking for willing volunteers to be angels in others’ lives.”
Elder Carlos A. Godoy
“To be Christlike, a person loves mercy. People who love mercy are not judgmental; they manifest compassion for others, especially for those who are less fortunate. They are gracious, kind, and honorable. These individuals treat everyone with love and understanding, regardless of characteristics such as race, gender, religious affiliation, sexual orientation, socioeconomic status, and tribal, clan, or national differences. These are superseded by Christlike love.”
Elder Dale G. Renlund
“Christ will enable us to see others as He does. And with His help, we can discern what is most needful…As with all gifts the Father so willingly offers, seeing deeply requires us to ask Him — and then act.” By asking to see others and then acting by “loving, serving, and affirming their worth and potential as prompted.”
Sister Michelle Craig
Speaking of the Culture of Christ: “It heals rather than harms… We believe we are responsible and accountable for ourselves, each other, the church, and our world. Charity, true Christ-like caring, is the bedrock of this culture. We feel real concern for the needs of our fellow man, temporal and spiritual, and act on those feelings.”
Elder William K. Jackson
“What are the fundamentals that sustain a flourishing society? One that promotes happiness, progress, peace, and well-being among its members.”
Elder D. Todd Christofferson
Praying For His/Her Nation and Its People
*Conference was full of loving assurances that our leaders are praying for us. President Nelson’s below is just one of them.
“I grieve with each of you who has lost a loved one during this time. And I pray for all who are currently suffering.”
President Russel M. Nation
“During the past few months I have had the impression come to me that the best way to help the current world situation is for all people to rely more fully upon God and to turn their hearts to Him through sincere prayer. Humbling ourselves and seeking heaven’s inspiration to endure or conquer what is before us will be our safest and surest way to move confidently forward through these troubling times. I invite you to pray always. Pray for your family. Pray for your leaders of nations. Pray for the courageous people who are at the front lines in this current battle against social, environmental, political, and biological plagues that impact the people throughout the world, the rich and the poor, the young and the old…No matter how you pray or to whom you pray, please exercise your faith — whatever your faith may be — and pray for your country and for your national leaders. … This is not about politics or policy. This is about peace and the healing that can come to individual souls as well as to the souls of countries.”
Elder M. Russell Ballard
Maintaining and Building Virtue in Society
“The institutions of family and religion have been crucial for endowing both individuals and communities with the virtues that sustain an enduring society…These virtues, rooted in scripture, include integrity, responsibility and accountability, compassion, marriage and fidelity in marriage, respect for others and the property of others, service and the necessity and dignity of work, among others.”
Elder D. Todd Christofferson
“…When people turn from a sense of accountability to God and begin to trust instead in the arm of flesh, disaster lurks…is to ignore the divine author of human rights and human dignity and give the highest priority to riches, power, and the praise of the world while often mocking and persecuting those who follow a different standard.”
Elder D. Todd Christofferson
Speaking of the Culture of Christ: “…It is a culture… of high moral standards, sacrifice, forgiveness…”
Elder William K. Jackson
“The institutions of family and religion have been crucial for endowing both individuals and communities with the virtues that sustain an enduring society.”
Elder D. Todd Christofferson
Helping Americans Become Self-Reliant
“The more self-reliant we are — temporally, emotionally and spiritually — the more prepared we are to thwart Satan’s relentless assaults.”
President Russel M. Nelson
“In an ever-changing world, we must prepare for uncertainties. Even with better days ahead we know that the temporal peaks and valleys of mortality will continue. As we seek to become temporally prepared, we can face the trials of life with increased confidence, peace in our hearts, and like Joseph of Egypt, we will be able to say, even in stressful circumstances, ‘There was bread.’”
Bishop W. Christopher Waddell
“If ye are prepared, ye shall not fear.”
President Russel M. Nelson quoting, Doctrine & Covenants 38:30
Respecting and Sustaining the Family
Speaking of the Culture of Christ: “This culture sanctions the sanctity of the family…”
Elder William K. Jackson
“Adultery, promiscuity, elective abortion and out of wedlock births are but some of the bitter fruits that grow out of the immorality sanctioned by the sexual revolution. Follow-on consequences that work against the sustainability of a healthy society include growing numbers of children raised in poverty and without the positive influence of fathers, sometimes through multiple generations, women bearing alone what should be shared responsibilities, and seriously deficient education as schools, like other institutions, are tasked to compensate for failure in the home.”
Elder D. Todd Christofferson
*If abortion has caused you to feel like you have no choice in who you vote for, read my most current blog post here.
As an honorable mention, in his talk, D. Todd Christofferson took the time to speak about the United Nations: “In 2015, the United Nations adopted what was called the 2030 Agenda for Sustainable Development. It was described as a shared blueprint for peace and prosperity for people and the planet now and into the future…includes 17 goals…such as no poverty, zero hunger, quality education, gender equality, clean water and sanitation, and decent work.” Please read this talk where he also discussed this initiative as a positive thing for our world.
Who am I going to vote for? Well, I will be studying each candidate’s (including the major 3rd party candidates’) platforms on each of these crucial principles. I believe that there are different ways to do many of these things, and I also believe that each candidate will embody some of these things. I hope to find one that embodies all, but if not, I will base my decision, after this research, on the answers I receive through fervent prayer.
I hope that my Latter-day Saint friends, or other friends who believe in these powerful principles, will do this exercise with me, having an open heart and mind. To believe one party or candidate is godly and another isn’t without truly studying and praying is doing a disservice to yourself, your country, and the candidates who wish to serve America the best way they know how.
I would love to hear your findings. I will be publishing comments from each candidate on as many of these points as I can to help myself and others choose the candidate who will embody what our church leaders spoke of passionately and frequently in Conference.
**Update: I spent the week researching each candidate’s views on the issues above. If you would like a copy of my PowerPoint presentation, just email me at mrsapplejelly@gmail.com and I would be happy to send it to you. Best wishes, and God bless you!
Please vote your conscience! And please respect others’ decisions!
