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Category: Memories/Stories

  • Gratitude can change your life for the best

    I shared this talk in my church congregation on December 17, 2006, not long after the hardest experiences I have ever had in my life up until that point, and probably ever in my life, until now.

    The talk’s topic was gratitude. I always thought that it was an inspired topic, for through studying it was I able to find some peace and a greater awareness of all of the gifts Heavenly Father has given me.

    I came across this talk today for the first time since 2006, and I thought that it might help someone who has been going through tough times, and is having a difficult time seeing God’s hand and feeling His love.

    Talk on Gratitude
    Doctrine and Covenants 59:21 reads, “And in nothing doth man offend God, or against none
    is his wrath kindled, save those who confess not his hand in all things, and obey not his commandments.” President James E. Faust said that this is “more than a social courtesy; it is a binding commandment.” Lastly, 1 Thessalonians 5:18 reads, “In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.”
    These statements are very clear. We must show gratitude for every occurrence and aspect of our lives.
    Much of this total gratitude includes our blessings. All of us are different and come from different backgrounds, but nevertheless all receive and have received countless blessings in our lives. Doctrine and Covenants 46:32 reads, “And ye must give thanks to God in the Spirit for whatsoever blessing ye are blessed with.”
    We have so many things to be thankful for. The well-known and beautiful primary song, “My Heavenly Father Loves Me,” illustrates gratitude for nature and our senses.
    Whenever I hear the song of a bird, or look at the blue, blue sky.
    Whenever I feel the rain on my face, or the wind as it rushes by.
    Whenever I touch a velvet rose, or walk by a lilac tree,
    I’m glad that I live in this beautiful world Heavenly Father created for me.
    He gave me my eyes that I might see the color of butterfly wings.
    He gave me my ears that I might hear the magical sound of things.
    He gave me my life, my mind, my heart, I thank him reverently
    for all his creations of which I’m a part. Yes, I know Heavenly Father loves me.
     
    In addition to nature and creations, some of our greatest blessings in life include the people that we love and respect, such as family, friends, teachers, mentors, and leaders. Without our relationships, we would be empty souls, hungry for love, acceptance, guidance, and companionship. The hymn “Each Life that Touches Ours for Good” perfectly reflects the positive impact of strong relationships with others. The first verse reads:
    Each life that touches ours for good, reflects thine own great mercy, Lord.
    Thou sendest blessings from above through words and deeds of those who love.
    In this church, we are also especially grateful for the gospel and the resources we have to help us better learn of Christ and our Father in Heaven. We have the scriptures, beautiful hymns, missionaries, a wonderful prophet and general authorities, temples, church magazines, and there are so many other resources that we enjoy. We must
    ask ourselves where we would be without the knowledge that Jesus Christ is our Savior, that the Father sent him down to earth to atone for the sins of the world, that we may be forgiven of our sins and receive eternal life.
    At this time of year we reflect on Jesus’ birth. John 3:16 reads:
    For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son,
    that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
    President Hinckley declared,
    We love him. We honor him. We thank him. We worship him. He has done for each of us and for all mankind that which none other could have done. God be thanked for the gift of his Beloved Son, our Savior, the Redeemer of the world, the Lamb without blemish who was offered as a sacrifice for all mankind. Christ was the ultimate gift and blessing, and there are countless other blessings that we as individuals enjoy, including health, prosperity, education, accomplishments, and freedoms, along with many others.
    It is easy to see our blessings and have grateful minds when our lives are going well.  There are times, however, when we go through intense and difficult trials. During these times we may waver about our faith, see only the negative, complain, criticize, and place blame. At these times in our lives, it is difficult to have positive attitudes, least of all to feel grateful to our Lord for our blessings. Our problems seem to much outweigh any goodness in our lives. There is hope for these feelings of doubt and despair. We can still be happy despite our trials.
    One way to do this is to have a positive attitude; see the beauty in the darkness. President Monson
    offers this excellent insight:
    We can lift ourselves, and others as well, when we refuse to remain in the realm of negative thought and cultivate within our hearts an attitude of gratitude. If ingratitude be numbered among the serious sins, then gratitude takes its place among the noblest of virtues.
    Some recognition of blessings will come during the course of the trial, and other recognition may come after the trial as you notice its positive outcomes.
    I think this talk was meant for me because this year of my life was the hardest that I have ever had to bear. This year I got divorced from my eternal companion, moved across the country, had to start my life completely over with friends, work, living arrangements, not to mention that I lost my in-laws and friends. That sounds pretty bad, and it is if you look at if from a negative perspective. But, even though my marriage failed, I am glad for the experience that it brought to my life. I have my beautiful son, who I love more than anything in the world. When I look at him, I see God’s divine hand in my life. During my two years of marriage I also had security, wonderful people to call my in-laws, my beautiful primary children whom I would not have taught if I hadn’t of been married and in a family ward.
    The most important thing I got out of my marriage was growth as an individual. I strengthened myself in ways of tolerance, forgiveness, communication skills, enduring to the end, hard work, love, and devotion. I went through my divorce during my last semester at SUU. That was a very difficult semester, but I did receive many blessings during that time. The sheer fact that I was able to graduate from college with high honors when I had a baby, family, work, church, and a divorce to worry about on top of school was a miracle in itself.
    My life since I have moved to North Carolina has been hard too, but I have had so many blessings. I have a loving family who helps me with everything I need, even though  I know sometimes Casey and I are a hardship; my ex-husband and I are friends and we keep in contact; I have made many friends in this ward, and I am so grateful for how many of you have opened your hearts to Casey. I am grateful that even though I will soon have to put my son in someone else’s care while I work, that he will be with a loving caregiver who has a son his age. Everything is going to be okay in my life. I just need to focus on the positive.
    The song “Count your Blessings” helps us to change our attitude and build our faith of enduring trials. The first two verses read:
    When upon life’s billows you are tempest tossed, when you are discouraged thinking all is lost,
    count your many blessings, name them one by one, and it will surprise you what the Lord has done.
    Are you ever burdened with a load of care? Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?
    Count your many blessings, every doubt will fly, and you will be singing as the days go by.
     In the field of communication there is a theory dealing with costs and rewards. When a relationship brings more costs than rewards to our lives, we will end the relationship. But I testify to you today that no matter how many trials we have to face, in our relationship with the Savior, the rewards will always be higher than the costs. So, coming to the Lord in prayer, asking for help in your trials is perhaps the best way to have the strength to live life positively and
    with a grateful heart.
    Alma 37:37 reads:
    Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good;
    yea, when thou liest down at night, lie down unto the Lord, that he may watch over you in your sleep;
    and when thou risest in the morning let thy heart be full of thanks unto God;
    and if ye do these things, ye shall be lifted up at the last day.
    We shall be exalted if we come unto Christ and thank him for all that he does for us in our every day lives. There is nothing greater for which we can be thankful.
    To show God how much we love him, we should serve others. These kind acts will also help us to overlook our own struggles by helping others with theirs. You could be the answer to someone else’s prayer and not even know it. You can stimulate gratitude in others through pure love and service. To show our gratitude to our Father in Heaven and Jesus Christ we should be mindful of our brethren just as they are mindful of us. Then we can find joy in our sometimes dreary lives.
    We now know that we must be grateful for all things and thus we need to show this gratitude. The simplest way is just to say it. President Hinckley said:
    There are two little words in the English language that perhaps mean more than all others.
    They are “thank you.”
    President Monson counsels:
    “Think to thank. In these three words is the finest capsule course for a happy marriage, a formula for enduring friendship, and a pattern for personal happiness.”
    In Luke 17 we read about the ten lepers. Christ showed them the way to be healed, and only one of the ten lepers came back to thank him. Jesus said to the Samaritan:
    Were there not ten cleansed? But where are the nine? There are not found that returned to give glory to God, save this stranger. And he said unto him, Arise and go thy way: thy faith hath made thee whole.
    The man who expressed his gratitude received Christ’s blessing, and the others’ ingratitude resulted only in disappointment.
    We can express our gratitude to our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ in our prayers, and also in our actions.
    President Monson offers this plea:
    Let us follow Him. Let us emulate his example. Let us obey His word.
    By so doing, we give to Him the divine gift of gratitude.
    Jesus himself said in John 14:21:
    He that hath my commandments and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me.
    We should also use the gospel resources that we have been given, such as studying the scriptures, praying, sustaining church leaders, paying our tithing and fast offering, singing hymns, going to the temple, and doing family history.
    We should show our gratitude to those who serve us on the earth. We can write thank you notes, make phone calls, show affection, and spend time with people. Remember, that even if someone does something for you that may not be exactly what you wanted, still show excitement and gratitude because that person worked really hard to make you happy. Also try not to take those who serve you for granted. Say thank you to your family, friends, and all others for everything, even the small things.
    I’d like to leave you with two quotes. The first was given by President Harold B. Lee:
    Life is God’s gift to man. What we do with our life is our gift to God.
    Doctrine and Covenants 78:19 reads:
    And he who receiveth all things with thankfulness shall be made glorious;
    and the things of this earth shall be added unto him, even an hundred fold, yea, more.
     What a promise. Just showing gratitude can bring about so many wonderful blessings. I am thankful so much for this ward and for your kindness to Casey and me. I hope that we can all remember Christ and his infinite love for each of us.

  • Washington, D.C., I love you.

    Jad, Kamren and I went to Washington, D.C. this past Friday through Sunday. It was such a wonderful vacation for us. It was Jad’s first time ever being in D.C. and I hadn’t been there for many years.

    Throughout our time there, my mind flooded with memories of my childhood. When I looked at the Washington Memorial, I thought of how I had never gone up it because my dad is afraid of heights.

    When I looked up at Abraham Lincoln, he was just as big as I remembered. 

    When we went to the Smithsonians, I remembered how much I used to love looking at the gemstones at the Museum of Natural History, and how entrancing Dorothy’s ruby slippers were, and still are, to me. I remembered the airplanes hanging from the ceiling just like it was yesterday, and still feel giddy as a school girl when I see the First Ladies’ ball gowns. I also felt the same special feeling seeing the sunstone from the Nauvoo Temple.

    As I reminisced, Jad experienced D.C. for the first time in all its wonderment. He was in awe of the ornate architecture everywhere we went. He fell in love with the Capitol, and felt right at home on the green grass covering the mall.

    We both especially loved the architecture of the Library of Congress. We could have stayed there forever admiring every ceiling, every pillar, every wall engraving, every quote, every color palette.

    Because Jad and I had never been to D.C. together, everything felt new and fresh and adventurous.

    We learned how to read a Metro map and took the Metro.

    We only actually rode the metro once, and loved walking many miles around a city so big, loud and busy, and yet so peaceful.

    As we walked, we felt an inner reverence as we reflected on the many freedoms we are able to enjoy in this great land. Regardless of hardships that occur in our country, we are still so blessed and proud to be Americans.

    We really enjoyed visiting some of the monuments on our first night there. We took a walking tour and learned so much from our tour guide. I loved seeing monuments I had grown up loving, and also visiting some I had never seen before.

    We really enjoyed the good food D.C. had to offer too.On my birthday, we enjoyed the best breakfast we had ever had in our lives, at a restaurant called Founding Farmers.

     Beignets with raspberry, caramel and chocolate dipping sauces.
    Egg cream and sparkling passion fruit juice. Egg creams are to die for, by the way.

    Jad got chicken and waffles, with gravy, and the best scrambled eggs in the world.

    I got heaven on a plate. French toast sticks with strawberries and whipped cream, all from scratch.

    Did I mention the french toast was stuffed with vanilla cream??
    Our experiences in D.C. were made so much sweeter by sharing them with our beloved Kamren.

    Turning 30 in Washington, D.C. is something I will never forget.
    The day after my birthday we would fly home to Mebane, but not until after an unforgettable day.
    It started by attending church. The building was like none I had ever seen before. It was beautiful, and the people in the congregation were diverse and unique. I felt honored to participate in an instant choir number.

    Upon leaving church, we prepared to head just 15 minutes outside of D.C. Though our time had been fulfilling in every way, we longed to go to one more place – a special place in Kensington, Maryland.
    Can you see it in this picture? Look hard.

    I will give you a hint. Here is Kamren next to a model of it.
    That is a model of the LDS Washington D.C. Temple. We would soon walk on the grounds and view it in all its majesty. 
    First, though, we spent time in the Temple Visitors’ Center, a place for all to learn more about the LDS faith, about temples, and about Jesus Christ.
    We started out our visit in such a spiritual way. We entered a beautiful theater, relaxed in the lovely burgundy seats, and watched a movie about the life of Joseph Smith.
    Jad and I had both seen it before, but we drank in every minute of the prophet’s life with the utmost respect and love. Tears streamed down our faces as the movie ended. The Spirit was strong.
    We then walked around the center, and enjoyed all it had to offer. 
    Videos of fellow LDS members, talking about their lives and faith.
    Videos of missionaries telling their stories, videos about family, educational presentations teaching about the gospel through the words of the Book of Mormon, and so much more.
    I loved watching videos of the LDS humanitarian efforts around the world. 
    The wall of prophets was so beautiful. Prophets from the Bible and Book of Mormon were portrayed, ending with the first prophet of this dispensation, Joseph Smith.
    Thought-provoking quotes adorned the walls. This one is from our prophet, Thomas S. Monson. It was his birthday wish a few years ago.

    For me, the most wonderful part of the visitors’ center is the Christus. There are benches where you can sit down and listen to Christ speaking His word directly to you. You can feel His love surround you.
     
     This is a picture of us outside the Visitors’ center with the magnificent temple behind us. My favorite part of our D.C. trip would be walking around this sacred house of of God.

    We were truly so happy to be there.

    The grounds are so lovely.

    This is the Lord’s house. It is a sacred place to feel a bit of heaven on earth, to feel peace in a wicked world, to further the kingdom of God. 
    I love the gold doors adorning the temple.

    Kamren loved crawling in the soft grass.

    Being at the temple brought back so many memories of my youth. This is the temple I always went to growing up. It was a wonderful experience to be there with my son and my husband.

    This is one of the most beautiful buildings I have ever seen. I had forgotten just how glorious it really is.

    Because of temples, families can be together forever. I know this is true.

    We left the temple to go to the airport, but the feelings we had there lingered with us as we drove.  

    I really think this was one of the most wonderful vacations I have taken in a long time. Old memories, new memories, a renewed bond with my family, and an enhanced faith in my country and in my God.

  • Sabbath Day Light: A perfectly imperfect Father’s Day

    This Father’s Day was very different than all the others. That’s because instead of being home, we were in Charlotte. At first, I was really kind of disappointed that we missed being at our church, where Casey, along with his peers, would have sung a beautiful song to the fathers. I was sad that I wasn’t able to make Jad a gourmet breakfast, or any good food at all. I also felt bad that we couldn’t spend time with my dad and the rest of the family to celebrate this special day.

    It is a shame we missed out on all those Father’s Day traditions, but it actually ended up being a great day.

    Even though we were out of town, we were blessed to be able to have a free breakfast at our hotel. It may not have been super impressive, but at least we could get a little extra sleep and concentrate on getting ready for church at this beautiful building.

    I always love attending other LDS congregations when we travel, and this Sunday was no exception. We met very nice people, and enjoyed participating in our classes. I was even asked to lead the music in Relief Society, and more than one person after the lesson (including the teacher), thanked me for asking questions in class to help guide the discussion along. Jad was happy because the men got Father’s Day treats.

    After church, we went back to the hotel and ate leftovers. Not too exciting, I know, but because we didn’t have to cook, there was more time for jumping on Daddy.

    Then it was time for cards and presents.

            Rigel got a little jealous. He wanted a present too.

    Jad is one of those sentimental men that really cherishes his family above any gift he could ever receive. He wanted pictures with those he loves most. We had to laugh at our kids’ expressions. Those are our kids all right.
    One of the greatest gifts is the gift of song. Casey wasn’t able to sing to all the fathers in church, so he chose to sing just to Jad. Even though he was a little unsure, I thought it was the cutest thing.
    After our little celebration, we decided to then get out of the hotel and go watch airplanes take off.
    Did you know Jad has always dreamed of being a pilot?
    Maybe one of the kids will be one some day…
    If I had to guess, though,

    I would pick Rigel.
    Kamren got too hot and tired, so he and I retired to the car, while the rest of the boys went strong for a long time.
    When they finally got in the car, Rigel cried and protested, saying “just one more.”
    So, Daddy obliged.
    What a day full of excitement! It wasn’t over yet. We needed to appreciate some beauty (and shade). Off to Freedom Park we went.
    Gorgeous, isn’t it?
    And since everyone looks better in nature, here is a pic of each of us.
    Jad holding Rigel on his shoulders, as he often does.
    Kamren climbing up on the bench. Climbing is his favorite activity.
    Rigel frolicking. He has to get that energy out somehow.
    Me, sitting on a bridge. I love bridges.
    Casey being, er, moody. Nature usually looks better on him. 
    Freedom Park overall was a success! It felt wonderful being outdoors enjoying God’s green earth.

    When we returned to the hotel, we were hungry. All we had was some pasta, butter, cheese and spices. I did not feel very inspired to cook anything amazing, so Jad took a crack at it. Yes, my husband made his own Father’s Day dinner. 

    Normally this would have bothered me, but since it was so yummy, it just made him that much more

    attractive…

    on the inside.
    He even washed the dishes after dinner. What a man.
    The evening then wound down with pillow fights,
    finger biting,

                  Jonah and the Great Fish watching (as long as                            baby didn’t turn the DVD player off),

                             and finally, sleepy time cuddles.

    So, even though we were in a smelly hotel away from home, Father’s Day 2014 was unforgettable because we were together, we were ourselves, and we were were filled with love towards each other, craziness and all. 

  • Sabbath Day Light: I know that God is real. I will never deny it.

    Church this Sunday was once again amazing. I was so happy to have a couple of my friends attend with us to support me as I sang, and to share in our love of our new building. I was also able to hear a friend, who recently began coming back to church, sing in church, which I felt very honored and blessed to witness. I also loved the lessons I learned from speakers and teachers.

    Just like last week, the Spirit was so strong. It enveloped me like a warm hug. During one point in our Sacrament Meeting the Spirit burned a fire in my heart, testifying to me of ultimate truth.
    This moment occurred when a group of people I love – a good friend, and three youth who I admire for their strong testimonies – got up and sang to the congregation. Before they sang, they took turns narrating a story and scripture to preface the song’s tender subject. Here are the words to the song.

    “The Power of God“
    From Cumorah’s Hill
    Steven Kapp Perry

    Listen to the wind blow,
    Lonely as a sigh.
    Nothing overhead but empty sky.
    Look up at starlight
    On a dark night;
    Are we all alone,
    An island in space?
    Or is there a plan
    Where I have a place?
    Could it be that heaven
    Is man’s imagining,
    Reaching out for hope in childish dreams?
    Stories so old then,
    We’ve outgrown them?
    Has God gone away
    Or hidden His face?
    Have miracles ceased to be?

    CHORUS: But the power of God is plain to see,
    There are wonders on every hand
    To those who will see through eyes of faith,
    Beyond the mind of man.
    For how could we hope
    To see His face,
    Who never could see
    His hand?

    Some may see a rainbow
    As nothing more than light.
    Others see a promise and a sign.
    Everyday wonders
    Without number
    Are here all around
    And wait to be found
    By those who have eyes to see.

    CHORUS (repeat)

    Listen to the wind blow,
    Then listen once again.

    Tears streamed down my face as I listened to this choir of beautiful voices. Their voices mesmerized, their countenances shone, their faith encompassed the entire chapel.

    I felt without a shadow of a doubt, not only that they believed what they were singing, not only that I also believed what they were singing, but that the words to the song were absolutely true.

    The scripture story that the youth read from before singing was in the Book of Mormon in Alma Chapter 30.

    The portion the group read was:

    “And then Alma said unto [Korihor], Believest thou that there is a God? And he answered, Nay (37, 38).

    And now, what evidence have ye that there is no God, or that Christ cometh not? I say unto you that ye have none, save it be your word only (40)…

    I say until you, I know there is a God, and also that Christ shall come…yea and all things denote there is a God” (39, 44).

    There are so many people who do not believe in God, and it shocks and saddens me.  Some do not believe because of scientific studies that say the earth is millions of years old, rather than only a few thousand. Some do not believe because they have never seen God, and nobody can prove to them 100% that there is a God. Some maybe used to believe, but no longer do because of hardships they have endured, and cannot see how God would allow such suffering to occur. Finally, there are some who do not believe in God and Jesus Christ because they have never heard about them.

    Some things I have learned through study and prayer are:

    1. Faith precedes the miracle. We will not receive a witness of truth until after the trial of our faith.
    2. God has not revealed all knowledge yet, and we will know someday if we remain faithful. When Christ comes again, he will reveal all things.
    3. We each have been given our freedom to choose God. If it were incredibly obvious that God existed and that we should follow Him, then there would be no need for faith, and no ability to grow and learn.
    4. Pain and suffering are gifts to us, as they give us the opportunity to humble ourselves, turn to the Lord for help, learn patience, realize our will is not always God’s will, open our perspective to the eternities,  help us appreciate our prosperous times more, and strengthen our faith.
    5. All people who have lived and who ever will live will have the opportunity to know of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. Nobody will be lost just because they didn’t know God. There is work being done now in temples, and will continue when Christ comes again, to ensure that all people have the chance to choose God if they desire Him.

    The beautiful song that my friends sang helps us see God’s hand in all things. He is the divine creator. The things we have on this earth, the small things, the beautiful things, all things, come from Him. We cannot look, smell, touch, or hear without witnessing God’s love for us.

  • Sabbath Day Light: I love God and His children. That includes you.

    There are so many things I could write about today. The Spirit at church was so strong and thick, you could swim in it. From thinking about my purpose to fasting today, to the beautiful testimonies borne by other faithful Saints, to discussing moral courage in Sunday School, to talking about the importance of education, both temporally and spiritually, my heart is full.

    I truly left church happy today. I am filled with God’s love for me. I am also filled with love for God’s children, my brothers and sisters.

    I am filled with God’s love for me and His children because…

    1. He has provided the people of the Hillsborough/Mebane area with a sunny, beautiful new building to worship in. I have seen a new brightness in our congregation that I hope will never dim.

    2. The Holy Ghost was visibly present in our meetings to testify of truth and to edify our souls.

    3. The Sacrament was administered to us, as it is every week, to allow us to renew our baptismal covenants.
    3. God has revealed, through the words of prophets, scriptures to lead us and guide us on the straight and narrow path back to Him. Studying them each week in Sunday School helps me stay on that path.
    4. The people in my congregation are all different. They lead different lives, have different struggles and different joys. They have some things in common, though. They have hope and they have faith, because they know they are children of God and that Jesus Christ is their Savior. I felt, and always feel, that knowledge radiate through the countenances of their faces, and light up the whole building.

    I am filled with my own love for my brothers and sisters because…

    1. I observed how hard they work to fulfill their church responsibilities, simply because they love the Lord.

    2. I loved hearing them bear their individual testimonies and share their personal experiences that have brought them closer to Christ. I was truly touched by all who shared.
    3. I received help with my children today as different members played with them.
    4. I felt appreciation for my testimony as people approached me, thanking me for sharing it.
    5. I felt loved as people said hello to me and smiled at me and asked me how I was doing.
    6. I had the blessing of meeting some new individuals, who I am excited to get to know.
    7. I smiled at my baby being cute, and smiled at the people who smiled at him being cute.
    9. I asked how I could help some of my fellow sisters, with a heart willing to serve.
    10. I listened to a sister play a song on the piano, and even though she was nervous and made some mistakes, I felt love and appreciation for her for having the courage and desire to share her talents.
    11. I happily accepted an assignment to substitute a class.
    12. I, without a second thought, offered the use of some of my belongings to a friend.

    What I think is so amazing, is that we can feel love for God and for others because of things that touch us, things we see, things we experience, things we study, things others do for us, and also things we do for others.

    I am so grateful for this love I feel in my heart right now. I have realized (or re-realized) today, that being judgmental, gossiping, and holding a grudge never bring happiness and light. They never improve or help or uplift. Only by loving, even when it is hard or inconvenient, will change our hearts. It will change the world.

  • Are Mormons Christians: A question that can only be answered by a Mormon

    I remember like it was yesterday sitting in my 9th grade history class. We were studying different Christian religions and my teacher brought up Mormons. A boy in class, one I happened to have a crush on at the time, shook his head and said, “Mormons aren’t Christians. They wrote their own book.” I, a 14-year-old Mormon girl, was too afraid to raise my hand and correct him. I will never forget that day.

    To make up for it now, I would like to write about how Mormons are truly Christian people.

    What is a Christian? Well, a Christian is a person who believes in the divinity of Jesus Christ as the son of God and Savior of the world, and who strives throughout his/her life to follow Christ’s teachings and example.

    Since I was a little girl, I have grown up believing in Jesus Christ as my Savior. My whole life I have been taught how to follow Christ, and each day I try to do that more and more. For those of you who don’t know much about Mormons, I would love to expound upon how we are Christians:

    • Jesus Christ is the head of our church and the center of it.

    The Prophet Joseph Smith taught, “The fundamental principles of our religion are … concerning Jesus Christ, that He died, was buried, and rose again the third day, and ascended into heaven; and all other things which pertain to our religion are only appendages to it.”

    Lord Jesus Christ, Our Savior
    • The name of our church is The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
    • Mormon meetinghouses, homes and temples are adorned with pictures of Christ.
    • Each Sunday, in our church congregations, Mormons administer and partake of the Sacrament (Communion) to remember Christ’s body and blood. We promise to always remember Him.
    • We pray to Heavenly Father in the name of Jesus Christ. We pray before every meal, before every church activity, every morning and every night. We also strive to always have a prayer in our hearts.
    • Mormons are baptized by immersion in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. The immersion symbolizes Christ’s death and resurrection, and represents the end of one’s past life and the beginning of one’s new spiritual life. When we are baptized, we promise to take upon us the name of Christ, bear one another’s burdens, and stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things and in all places.
    • Mormons believe in loving all people as children of God, which includes finding good in all people, forgiving others, being kind to others, and not judging others. We also spend much of our lives in service to our neighbors, friends and families.
    • Our church has a very large humanitarian aid program. Since it started keeping track in 1985, it has donated more than $1 billion in cash and material assistance to 167 different countries in need of humanitarian aid.
    • Many members of our church choose to serve missions around the world where they spread the good news of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Though not all members serve official missions, all members strive to share the gospel of Jesus Christ from day to day, through example and in natural conversation.
    • Mormons study and read the Bible throughout their lives, and copies of the Bible can be found in our churches, homes and temples.
    • Mormons strive throughout their lives to keep God’s commandments – not just the ten commandments, but the higher law Christ taught.  We know that to truly love God and to live with Him again, we must follow all of His commandments.
    • We seek forgiveness throughout our lives for our sins through the atonement of Jesus Christ and strive throughout our lives to be more like Him. We know that He is the only way to have eternal life with our Father in Heaven.

     Now, what about this book that my high school friend said Mormons wrote? Well, he was referring to the Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ. It is true that Mormons read, study and ponder this book along with the Bible our entire lives. It is true that Mormons believe this is the truest book on earth. We don’t believe it is the truest book on earth because an expert in Christianity wrote it. Joseph Smith actually only had a third grade education. No, we believe that it is actual scripture written by prophets living in ancient America, starting 600 years before Christ. In one of the books in the Book of Mormon, the resurrected Jesus Christ appears to the people there and preaches what He had taught in his mortal ministry. You can read more about the Book of Mormon here, request a free copy here, or read the book electronically here. In its more than six thousand verses, the Book of Mormon refers to Jesus Christ almost four thousand times and by over one hundred different names. Please refer to my blog post about the Book of Mormon, and 100 things it has taught me here.

    I mentioned a man named Joseph Smith. Some believe Mormons worship Joseph Smith. This is not the case, though we highly revere him. He was the first prophet of our church. The story of how our church came to exist, as well as how the Book of Mormon came into existence, is a long one. I cannot tell it as well as Joseph Smith himself.

     

    Joseph Smith, we believe, was a prophet of God. A prophet of God leads our church today. His name is Thomas S. Monson, and we believe that he receives revelation from God to lead His church on the earth. We believe that our church is the same church that existed when Christ was on the earth. Just as in Christ’s time, we have prophets, apostles, temples, and the priesthood.

     

    Based on the definition of what a Christian is, Mormons are definitely Christians. However, we have additional doctrines and practices not familiar to other Christian churches. This is why many Christians say we are not Christians. I will not personally address these issues, but if you would like to read about them, you may find these articles of interest:

    There is also an official statement written by Mormon apostles and prophets regarding our beliefs about Christ.

     

    As for me, I love Jesus Christ with all of my heart. I am grateful for Him. I know that He was born of a virgin in the most humble beginnings. I know He led a perfect life of love, kindness, forgiveness, and service. He truly taught us the way to live to return to our Father in Heaven. I know He suffered for our pains and sins in the Garden of Gethsemane. There He paid the price for all of us. Because He suffered, we wouldn’t have to, but instead, through Him, could repent of our sins and become clean.  His atonement is infinite and we can use it all our lives, not only for repentance, but also for healing when we go through difficult times, and for spiritual strength to press forward in an increasingly wicked world. I know that Jesus died on the cross and rose on the third day. Because he died and was resurrected, we can all be resurrected to our perfect form. I know Jesus knows my name, and your name. I know He loves us all equally and wants all of us to succeed. He, along with Heavenly Father and the Holy Ghost, are united in helping us attain eternal life. I know if I remain faithful in my heart, in my words and in my deeds, this can be so.

    Yes, Mormons are Christians. Out of all hats we wear, out of all things we define ourselves by, most importantly, we are children of God.

    Much love,
    Mandy Al-Bjaly

    http://mormon.org/me/5RNJ

  • Sabbath Day Light: There is music in me

    I am a person who loves music. As I think about it, it has always been such a huge part of my life, and the memories I have make me smile.

    My love of music came from my Nana and Granddad.


    My Granddad was an amazingly talented pianist and organist. He had a gift not many people have, and used it for so much good. He was the organist in our church congregation for as long as I can remember. He also taught me, my siblings, and many others piano lessons. I remember him always making sure I lifted my wrists, and he wouldn’t check off a song unless I played it perfectly. I treasure seeing his handwriting in music books I still have. It is a way to always have a part of him with me.

    My Nana has one of the most beautiful, operatic voices, a voice that you would imagine a chorus of birds accompanying. I grew up just loving her voice, and wanting to sing just like her. I think if Nana could sing instead of talk, she probably would. My whole life, she and I have had a special song (from Guys and Dolls), which goes, “I love you, a bushel and a peck, a bushel and a peck and a hug around the neck, hug around the neck, and a barrel in a heap, barrel in a heap, and I’m talkin’ in my sleep about you.” I can hear her singing it right now. Even at my age, she will either sing it to me, or we will take turns saying each phrase to each other.

    Disney songs made childhood so much more fun.


    When I was a kid, my siblings and I were obsessed with Disney movies. I recall watching at least one a day during the summers. We loved singing the songs. One of my favorite activities was singing Disney songs, especially from Sleeping Beauty, into a running fan. It would make my voice project and sound crackly. We all thought it was hilarious.

    Car trips were way more fun with these singers.

    I remember growing up that my mom had certain cassette tapes she played over and over. The artists I remember the most were Celine Dion, Whitney Houston, Michael Bolton, Barry Manilow, and Rick Astley.

    I think my favorite songs were “I Will Always Love You,” “Copacabana,” and “Never Gonna Give You Up.” It’s hard to pick, though, because I just loved listening to these artists on the way to the pool, Kmart, or the library.

    The Backstreet Boys brought teenage girls together.


    Anyone remember the age of boy bands? I remember for several of my preteen and teenage years being totally obsessed with the Backstreet Boys. My friends loved them; my mom even loved them.

    Their songs were so catchy and fun to sing and dance to.

    “Backstreet’s back, all right!” “Tell me why!” “And that makes you larger than life!”

    They were also really cute, had awesome music videos, and sold awesome merchandise. I remember getting a Brian patch for my backpack, and a Brian poster for my wall, and probably other Brian stuff. Can you tell I liked Brian?

    Singing, listening to and playing musicals was my life.


    When I was a teenager, I was obsessed with musicals. I think this obsession started in 8th grade, when my drama class read and listened to The Phantom of the Opera (which I still think is the best musical ever). I remember I had to read Christine’s lyrics to “The Point of No Return.” Yeah, my cheeks were pretty red as I realized what the song was about.

    After getting the Phantom CD for my birthday that year, I listened to it and listened to it, and sang it, and listened to it. I grew to really love it, which opened my appetite for more musicals.

    I started to ask for music books of musicals so I could play them on the piano, and sing along, of course. Some of my favorites were Cats, Jekyll & Hyde, The Scarlet Pimpernel, and Les Miserables.

    I have many memories of singing this music and others, while I played my CDs in my room. I would sing while putting on my make up and doing my hair. I always thought if my door was closed, nobody could hear me – or maybe I just didn’t care.

    I had the time of my life in high school when I got to play Hodel from Fiddler on the Roof my Sophomore year, and Catherine from Pippin my Senior year.

    My love of musicals followed me to college and beyond. Last year I was able to act in a musical with my son, Casey, and many other members of my church in the Durham/Chapel Hill areas. I had the time of my life, and I remembered how much I love acting in musicals.

    My love of music helped me meet my husband.


    In the spring of 2009, I was dating a Marine who was deployed in Iraq. Despite my relationship status, I still went to the young single adult dances put on each month by my church. I didn’t go to meet men, but simply to satisfy my craving to dance to loud, upbeat music. Had I not gone to the dances that April and May, I never would have met or dated my husband since he lived two hours away. Thank you, love of music and dancing.

    Primary songs are better when you are an adult.


    As a child in the LDS church, I grew up learning and singing many songs about prayer, Jesus Christ, gratitude, prophets, and love. Some of the songs were just for fun, and were about apricot trees or snowmen.

    My favorite Primary songs as a child were A Child’s Prayer and My Heavenly Father Loves Me.

    I always loved going to church so I could sing these songs. As an adult, I have had the opportunity to teach these same songs to new generations of children. From teaching the songs, and also having been a teacher seeing the kids learn, sing, and love them, I have learned to love the Primary songs even more.

    They have a new significance to my life, and I feel the presence of the Holy Ghost more strongly when singing them than ever before. I often sing Primary songs to my children, my favorites being I am a Child of God, I Feel My Savior’s Love, Families Can Be Together Forever, and I Love to See the Temple.


    Singing is one of the best ways to feel the Spirit.

    I am one of those people that loves singing in church choir, singing solos in church, and singing the hymns loudly and joyfully. People often tell me they were glad they sat near me because I make it easier to sing the songs.

    More than once in my adult life I have been the chorister of our church congregation, and also have thoughtfully and prayerfully chosen the hymns to be sung each Sunday.

    Something I have realized is that singing is a wonderful way to praise and show love to our Savior and our Heavenly Father. Hymns help us really internalize gospel principles as well, such as the atonement of Jesus Christ and loving one another.

    The best thing about hymns is, if they are sung with real intent, they can help you feel the Spirit, and testify to you of the truthfulness of many things.

    The reason I thought to blog about music in my life was because of the strong spirit I felt at church this Sunday, the first Sunday in our beautiful new building in Mebane. There were many gorgeous musical numbers, and all brought tears to my eyes, including the choir number I participated in, entitled Be Still.


    I am so grateful that music exists. It can be fun, soothing, inspiring, powerful, uplifting. It is such a magnificent form of expression. It touches the mind, the heart, and the spirit.

  • Sabbath Day Light: A talking donkey spoke to me

    This week in Sunday School, we discussed the story of Balaam, a prophet whom King Balak enticed many times to curse the Israelites.

    You can read a full description of the story here. I found it very interesting and enlightening.

    There are so many lessons to be learned from it, such as the need to obey God’s commandments with exactness , to not be tempted by worldly treasures, and to accept and follow answers to prayer, instead of trying to get God to change His will.

    The point that moved me the most, though, came  from the encounter with Balaam and his donkey, who he thought was mocking him by not proceeding forth on their journey, but rather stopping, or turning, or falling down. Balaam beat his donkey, and after the donkey was allowed by God to speak, realized that the donkey in fact was saving him from death.

    Balaam and his donkey

    I thought about how as people we often are quick to get angry and quick to be offended. Often when we choose to feel this way, we lash out irrationally, usually without knowing all the facts.

    Most of the time, when someone seemingly hurts us, it isn’t intentional. Most people aren’t out to hurt us or bring us down. Sometimes people just have bad days, fumble something they say, forget a promise they have made, or are just speaking or doing what they usually do, not realizing it may not be the best way to communicate.

    Sometimes we just don’t have all the facts. We only see one piece of the puzzle, and rather than seek out the rest of pieces, we make assumptions – assumptions which lead to bitterness, lashing out, awkwardness, or gossip.

    Then there are times when people really are out to hurt us. It could be a stranger, a peer, or even someone we love.
    In those cases, we really have no choice but to be angry and offended, right? We aren’t in the wrong if we lash out, either physically, verbally, or nonverbally because that person deserves it, correct? Isn’t that just justice?

    That is the common response, but in reality, anger is a CHOICE.

    A leader in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS church), Elder Lynn G. Robbins, said: 

    “A cunning part
    of his [Satan’s] strategy is to dissociate anger from agency, making us believe
    that we are victims of an emotion that we cannot control. We hear, ‘I lost my
    temper.’ Losing one’s temper is an interesting choice of words that has become
    a widely used idiom. To ‘lose something’ implies ‘not meaning to,’
    ‘accidental,’ ‘involuntary,’ ‘not responsible’—careless perhaps but ‘not
    responsible.’

    “‘He made me
    mad.’ This is another phrase we hear, also implying lack of control or agency.
    This is a myth that must be debunked. No one makes us mad. Others don’t make us
    angry. There is no force involved. Becoming angry is a conscious choice, a
    decision; therefore, we can make the choice not to become angry. We choose! To those who say,
    ‘But I can’t help myself,’ author William Wilbanks responds, ‘Nonsense.’

    “‘Aggression, …
    suppressing the anger, talking about it, screaming and yelling,’ are all
    learned strategies in dealing with anger. ‘We choose the one that has proved
    effective for us in the past. Ever notice how seldom we lose control when
    frustrated by our boss, but how often we do when annoyed by friends or family?’ (‘The New
    Obscenity,’ Reader’s Digest, Dec. 1988, 24; italics added)” (in Conference
    Report, Apr. 1998, 105; or Ensign, May 1998, 80).

    If anger is a choice, why do we choose it? Does it solve anything?

    The living prophet of the LDS church, Thomas S.
    Monson said, “Anger does not solve anything; it
    builds nothing. To be angry is to yield to the influence of Satan. No one can
    make us angry. It is our choice. If we desire to have a proper spirit with us
    at all times, we must choose to refrain from becoming angry. I testify that
    such is possible.”

    Looking at the scriptures, Jesus Christ taught,
    “Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy.
    “But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you. …
    “For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same?
    “And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so?
    “Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect” (Matthew 5:43–44, 46–48).
    It is interesting that just before commanding us to be perfect, the Lord counsels us to love our neighbors and our enemies. This is not easy, but as President Monson said, it is possible.
    Elder David A. Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles in the LDS church, declared, “One of the greatest indicators of our own spiritual maturity is revealed in how we respond to the weaknesses, the inexperience, and the potentially offensive actions of others. A thing, an event, or an expression may be offensive, but you and I can choose not to be offended…”
    Are we mature people, especially in things of the Spirit? I personally know I need to take my own advice, as well as the counsel of these great men, especially my Savior.
    Let’s try to take more breaths, think more rationally, give more benefits of the doubt, seek more clarification, and love more dearly. Let us also try harder not to be the one causing the hurt, whether intentionally or unintentionally. All we have to do is try to see perspectives outside our own.
    Join with me! Let’s be more spiritually mature together. Let’s choose the better part.
    Thank you, talking donkey, for speaking to me.

  • Reminiscing about a miracle

    Since yesterday my mind has been filled with memories of my youngest baby, who is one year old today. I have felt sad that he is growing up so fast. I have also felt excitement about celebrating this wonderful milestone today. Mostly, though, I have felt an overwhelming gratitude to my Heavenly Father for the miracles surrounding Kamren’s birth. I know from that experience, and others, that God knows me. He loves me. He is aware of me. I also know that sometimes we go through trials so He can remind us of His presence in our lives, if we only turn to Him.

    Happy birthday to my beautiful baby, and much love and gratitude to my Heavenly Father for this miracles He has bestowed to me and my family.

    Please read below about the miracles that happened on May 5, 2013.

    To my cousin earlier in April I said: “Lisa, don’t you want to wait until closer to the time Kamren is due to come visit? If you come the weekend of the 4th, he won’t be born yet.”

    To many family members and friends throughout April up until even May 4 I said: “I don’t think I’m going to have this baby early. If he’s like Casey and Rigel, he will most likely be late.”

    To my Relief Society President, Lisa Hagan, around 8:30 PM on May 4 I said: “No, I haven’t had the baby yet. Thanks for checking up on me, though. I am doing fine.”

    No, I never in a million years expected what was going to happen to me a few hours after going to bed the night of Saturday, May 4. I went to bed tired, but it had been a very productive day of yard-saleing, spending time with family at the Hibachi Buffet and then at my house, having barbeque ribs at our neighbors’ house, and even taking a walk before putting the kids to bed.

    Before we said our personal prayers for the night, Jad said he hadn’t been able to think of a good personal reason to fast for Fast Sunday the next day. I told him that it would be a good idea, since Kamren would be born sometime this month, for him to fast that Kamren would have a safe and healthy delivery and birth. Nothing could have been more appropriate and important to fast for that night.

    We went to bed around 11 or so, just a little while after my cousin, Lisa, got to our house. After just a few short hours of sleep, I awoke sometime between 1:30 and 2 AM. I felt terrible, like I had awful indigestion. I told Jad how I was
    feeling, and he immediately turned on the light and asked if we were going to have a baby tonight. I reassured him that no, that wasn’t going to happen, and asked him to get me some Tums.

    I took the Tums and drank some water, thinking I would feel better. I tried to go back to sleep, but then I felt what seemed to be a contraction. I asked for my phone, and Jad again asked me if we needed to go to the hospital. I didn’t want to come to any rash conclusions, so I said I didn’t think so, but I had a contraction and wanted to time any others that came. I felt another two contractions, and they were a minute or less apart. If you know anything about
    labor, you know that when contractions are that close together, the baby is coming pretty soon.

    I must have still been in denial though, because I did not feel a need to freak out or tell Jad how far apart they were.
    I focused instead on how I still felt I needed to go to the bathroom. I tried to go, and this time I felt my water break, but it was weird because it was almost like the water was pouring down around something, rather than in a gush
    straight down. Jad noticed blood in the water, and I finally decided it was time to call the midwife pager.

    The midwife, Stephanie, called back in a minute or so (around 2:10). I told her what had happened and she told us to come on to the hospital. Time was going in slow motion for me and I had a very hard time making decisions. I knew I wanted to take a shower. I was a lot less hurried than Jad, who got dressed in seconds and was ready to go.

    I suddenly felt an incredibly strong urge to go to the bathroom, and in a high pitched, frantic voice, I told Jad to leave so I could do so, and that I couldn’t go to the hospital until I did.

    Jad left the room like I asked and went to ask Lisa about staying with the children while we went to the hospital. When Jad was with Lisa, I felt like I had no control over my bowels and that I had to push hard. I did so, and I started to scream loudly I am sure because of pain, but mostly because I felt something very large start to emerge from my body. It scared me to death.

    Immediately reacting to my scream, Jad ran into the bathroom. I didn’t know this at the time, but he saw the crown of Kamren’s head, with all its dark hair. While I was continuing to scream loudly enough to wake the neighbors, he started to run the bath water. I remember wondering why he felt the need to do that. He later said it was because he thought I might be able to have the baby in the bathtub.

    As I was screaming, I continued to push because that was all my body wanted to do, and Jad started to yell for my cousin to come help us. She told us later she was really scared and didn’t know what to do at first. She heard Rigel wake up and decided to calm him down as she determined she could do the most good with him.

    Very soon, Jad saw Kamren’s head in its entirety. At this point, I knew for a fact I was going to have my baby right then in my bathroom. I was so afraid, and I kept crying out ‘’My baby, my baby.”  I really had no idea what would happen to him or me once he was born.

    At this point, Jad, who was also quite scared, came to me as he was calling my mom, who didn’t answer. It turns out that my mom’s phone got a voicemail with me screaming ‘My baby, my baby.’ She didn’t notice it until later. I am kind of afraid to listen to it even now.

    Though I have no recollection of how often I pushed, I apparently pushed one more time, and once Jad saw the beginning of his shoulder, the baby fell quickly out of my body at 2:15 AM. (To get some perspective, everything that happened after the midwife called up until the birth happened in only five minutes.)

    In an instant I saw my baby’s head looking up at me in between my legs in the bloody toilet bowl. He let out a little cry and I lost it. I think I was nearly hyperventilating as I screamed over and over again, “Oh my God.” I had to pray
    to Heavenly Father later to apologize for using his name in vain.

    You may wonder how the baby ended up head up in the toilet, rather than head down. Jad said when he came out, his body slid up the contour of the bowl and then the bottom half of his body fell in the water.

    While I was freaking out, Jad immediately took Kamren out of the bowl. He noticed that the umbilical cord was tugging at his belly button, and realized the placenta had also emerged already. He lifted up the placenta out of the toilet and placed it on top of the baby. He took Kamren, along with the placenta to the bathtub to clean up his eyes and nose. Blood was dripping all over the place, so much so that we later compared our bathroom to a murder scene.

    I screamed out that we needed to call 911. Jad did so, but soon got frustrated and said the call wasn’t going through. He said, “I’m dialing 919. Why isn’t it working!?” Though that seems funny now, it wasn’t at the time, and I frantically said, “No, it’s 911!”

    I ended up dialing 911 while Jad called my mom and told her to dial 911 and tell the operator that the baby was here. I found out later she had no idea the baby was born (she just thought I was in labor), but found out from the operator upon dialing 911.

    When the 911 operator answered my call, I worriedly told her that I had just had a baby in my house and didn’t know what to do.

    She asked for my address and then said to clean the baby’s nose and mouth, which Jad had already done.  Then she told us to wrap him in a clean, dry towel. I momentarily inwardly panicked because I didn’t have a clean dry towel near me and going out to the linen closet would be a messy ordeal. So, I chose my towel since I figured it was cleaner than Jad’s. We wrapped the baby in it and Jad cleaned off his nose and mouth again.

    The operator asked about the placenta and if I had delivered it yet. Since I had, she asked that it be wrapped up as well. Jad grabbed my nightgown off the floor without hesitation and wrapped the bloody glob in it.

    Next she told Jad to find a shoelace to tie around the umbilical cord, about six inches from the baby’s belly button. She said not to pull on the placenta. Luckily, our closet was right by the bathroom. Jad handed me the baby for the first time and then grabbed a shoelace out of one of his nice church shoes.

    The operator told me to stay on the line with her until the ambulance came. At this point, Rigel had calmed down, so Lisa decided to come over to the bathroom to see if we needed help. She said as she walked into our bedroom, she could smell the blood and expected a mess to say the least.  I don’t remember us saying much, just kind of looking at each other with little, weak smiles. I’m glad she didn’t look freaked out. She actually thought I looked great for just having had a baby and that she felt comfort that all would be well with us.

    Jad asked Lisa to unlock the door so the EMTs could come in when they arrived.

    A couple minutes later, two men walked into my bathroom. Imagine how you would react seeing a bathroom covered in blood. I thought of that and apologized for the mess, also being embarrassed about being mostly naked sitting on a toilet seat. One of them said it was okay and that these things happen. I think I felt a little better after that.

    Just then, a couple women came with a wheelchair and other equipment. They asked me to sit down in the chair. They understood my embarrassment at standing up without pants, so they had a blanket ready to wrap around me, thank goodness. I gave Kamren back to Jad, which I am sure I didn’t like doing, and sat in the chair. I was wheeled down the hall and carried down the stairs. That was kind of scary.

    On the front porch was a stretcher. Somehow I was put on it and rolled to the ambulance, but all I remember thinking was, are my neighbors peeking out their windows looking at me right now? At the time, it seemed like there was more than one ambulance, but Jad told me later there was only one, just that the red light was reflecting off the truck. I must have been really out of it.

    I didn’t know this, but Jad told me that they put an oxygen mask on Kamren as Jad carried him to the ambulance.

    When I was put in the ambulance, I told the EMTs we needed our bags. I am glad I said that or otherwise we wouldn’t have gotten any pictures of the beginning of Kamren’s life. While all this was happening, my mom, brother and sister had hopped in the car and driven to Mebane. They followed the ambulance from Sheetz to the hospital.

    On the way to UNC Hospital, I held Kamren close while one of the male EMTs rubbed him vigorously with warm towels. I remember being worried about him. He was so blue/gray and not moving much. I was glad whenever he let out a little cry.

    The EMTs monitored my baby’s little heart and took my blood pressure. One of them tried to put an IV in my hand, which hurt terribly, but then after all that, he was unsuccessful. I was irritated about that. I wish he had just asked me where a good vein was.

    Other than that moment of slight annoyance, I think I was pretty much in a daze. Jad said he was feeling really happy everything was okay. He actually videotaped our trip to the hospital.

    When we got there, I was rolled to a room. I remember feeling very unsafe on the stretcher and held on very tightly to my baby.

    When we got to the room, a nurse took Kamren and put him under a warming lamp. I was given the task of moving from the stretcher to the hospital bed, which was actually very difficult.

    I was in a lot of pain, especially in my back and my lower abdomen. It also hurt terribly to get sewn up, even after getting numbed with the huge needle. I don’t think the numbing process even helped. I said “ow” way more than I wanted to. This was the first time I felt myself being sewn up after having a baby.

    During this whole experience, I am sure I wanted to cry. I never did, though, until after I was already in the hospital. I don’t remember exactly when it was, but I know it was during a time when it was quiet and Jad, my wonderful husband and hero, was standing next to me.

    It was so nice of my mom, brother and sister to come to the hospital to make sure Kamren and I were all right. They stayed for a little while to get some details about the birth and to see the baby.

    After I was put in my recovery room, Jad left for a while. His clothes were all bloody and he wanted to clean the bathroom (and other effected areas) and take a shower.

    Jad was in the middle of cleaning vigorously when Casey woke up that morning.  Lisa had a note ready for him saying I had had the baby. She spoke to him about it, and he didn’t believe Kamren was here because in Casey’s mind he was supposed to be born the following Sunday. It took some convincing, but finally he believed Lisa. I am sure he was excited, because when he first met Kamren, and held him, he was totally in love with him. It was so sweet to see them together.

    After the adventure I had early Sunday morning, my two days in the hospital were pretty normal. I enjoyed ordering as much hospital food as I wanted (the milkshakes were fabulous); I visited with family; I cuddled and nurtured my little one, who was safe and mostly healthy; and I reflected often on the blessings of the whole experience:

    1. Jad was home for the labor. Many of you know that he works out of town three days a week. Had he not been home for the delivery, I don’t know how I would have made the appropriate phone calls, and done all the procedures while holding the baby, especially since I had just had a very traumatic experience.
    2. My cousin, Lisa was there. Because she was at my house, we didn’t have to worry about what to do with the
      children. She was able to take care of them for us, for which we will always be grateful.
    3. Casey didn’t wake up when I was screaming. I think he would have been traumatized had he heard me, and even more so had he come to the bathroom and seen anything. Rigel did wake up, but Lisa was able to get to him and calm him down so he didn’t know what had happened.
    4. My labor was short. Because it was so short, my pain was also short. I think because of not having an epidural, my recovery has also been much faster this go around.
    5. We did not rush to the car. It was a great blessing I was a little indecisive about whether to go to the hospital,
      or what to do, because if we had rushed, I would have had the baby in the car.
    6. I felt birth for the first time. I got an epidural with my other two boys, and though I probably would do so again
      if I had the choice, I feel blessed that I was able to experience natural childbirth.
    7. I don’t remember the pain. I remember how it felt to push him out. I remember the shock and fear of it all. I do not remember how painful it was. I know it was excruciating because of how loud my screams were, but I do not remember feeling the pain.
    8. Kamren didn’t fall head first into the toilet. It didn’t make sense that he didn’t go head first since he was
      delivered head first. I believe that this was not an accident, but divine hands led him safely out.
    9. We made it to the hospital. I am so glad the ambulance came so quickly and that Kamren and I were able to be
      transported safely and healthy enough.
    10. Kamren didn’t have any really bad injuries. He did have a large bump on his head from the pressure, very
      bloodshot eyes from ruptured blood vessels (again from the pressure), bruising on his face, and some jaundice, but he had no broken bones or anything that caused the pediatrician major concern.
    11. Jad and I got this new respect and love for each other. We looked at each other with so much love after we made it to the hospital. To me, he was a hero, and to him I was. I love my husband so much and I am so glad that he and I were able to share this miracle together.
    12. We will always have a very special memory, one of love, survival and faith. Kamren will always be our miracle.

    “God was with you that day,” said my friend, Maria. She was right. I know that, just as I know He is with us every day. It was only refreshed in my mind from that experience. I was in the less than 1% of women who have unplanned home births. Why me? I don’t know, but I will always be grateful.

     

     

     

  • Sabbath Day Light: I am related to Gladys Knight

    Last night, as well as tonight, I have had the wonderful privilege to attend “One Voice,” a presentation of music and testimony, sung by Saints Unified Voices gospel choir, directed by Gladys Knight. (To learn more about the choir, click here.)

    One Voice

    The music was absolutely amazing. Every member of the choir, every member of the live band, as well as Sister Knight herself, has glorious God-given talent. Many cultures were embraced in the music, and every song bore testimony of the divinity of Jesus Christ and our necessity to follow Him.

    My favorite song from the event spoke of this very topic. It is so easy to tell Jesus we will follow Him tomorrow, but tomorrow could be too late. We should choose to follow Christ today.

    As I heard the music, I felt alive. I felt invigorated. I felt the Spirit of the Lord in a new way. I found myself smiling, clapping, standing, and rejoicing in my Savior as I, and a thousand others, saw and heard the testimonies of people who love Christ with all their souls. The Spirit radiated out of their voices, faces, and whole bodies.

    Now, as beautiful and magnificent as the music was, I must say that the most uplifting part of both evenings for me was listening to several individuals share their stories and testimonies of Jesus Christ and His gospel.

    The first man who spoke said that he was related to Gladys Knight. He was a white man, making the idea of blood relation humorous. Then he profoundly stated that Gladys is a child of God. He too is a child of God. That means Gladys is his sister. That means Gladys is my sister too.

    The theme of being children of God was reiterated throughout the presentation. Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints believe that each and every person on the earth from Adam and Eve until now is a literal spirit son or daughter of Heavenly Father. We believe that we lived with God before we came to earth, and that we chose to come here and follow His great Plan of Happiness. You can read more about this plan here.

    Gladys’ husband, and Gladys herself, also stood and told their stories, from how they were raised, how they met each other, and how they each individually came to join the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints – the church they, and millions around the world, believe is the restored church of Jesus Christ. You can read more about the restoration of the gospel here.

    They pled with the audience to open their hearts to the possibility of Joseph Smith really being a prophet, of the Book of Mormon really being true, of the priesthood really being restored. Gladys’ husband, William McDowell, asked us to follow the promise at the end of the Book of Mormon, which states:

     3 Behold, I would exhort you that when ye shall read these things, if it be wisdom in God that ye should read them, that ye would remember how merciful the Lord hath been unto the children of men, from the creation of Adam even down until the time that ye shall receive these things, and ponder it in your hearts.
     4 And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.
     5 And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things. (Moroni 10:3-5)
    Gladys gave an important point, that she isn’t trying to sell anything, or force anyone to do anything. It is a person’s choice to open their hearts to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. She did, however, give a strong testimony of her belief in the truthfulness of the faith she holds so dear.
    I loved hearing Gladys’ majestic voice. Towards the end of the presentation, she and the choir sang one of the children’s hymns from our church, entitled I am a Child of God. It is one of my favorite hymns too, and I often sing it to my children.
    If you would like to hear the song, here is a beautiful rendition in many different languages sung by women of our church.

    Gladys Knight believes that God gave her the gift of song to do His will, to feed His sheep, to tell the world that Jesus Christ lives. I believe that she is right, as I believe that all of us is given talents, where if we use them appropriately, we can bring peace to the world through the gospel of Jesus Christ.

    I am grateful for Gladys and her choir’s courage as they stand for what they believe, embrace cultural differences, and bring light and hope to all wishing to find it.

    He lives!