I gave a talk in church yesterday. My husband, who asked me to speak, let me pick my topic. As I thought about what I wanted to speak about, topics like charity, worth, and peacemaking came to my mind. I decided to speak on the scripture, “The worth of souls is great in the sight of God (Doctrine and Covenants 18:10).” I had several weeks to think about it. The Holy Ghost sent me so many thoughts for days. As I also looked at old Facebook posts and blogs I had written, I realized how many times I had already written things with the undertone of this scripture without even realizing it. Researching this topic as well as pondering on my own experiences was a beautiful experience for me. I spent far longer preparing this talk than I have ever spent preparing any other talk I have done (at least 12 hours), and it meant more to me than any other as well. I cried almost the whole time I read it because the message is so powerful and tender to me. I want to share my talk with you, and I hope it touches your heart:
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Elder Uchtdorf taught: “We cannot gauge the worth of another soul any more than we can measure the span of the universe. Every person we meet is a VIP to our Heavenly Father. Once we understand that, we can begin to understand how we should treat our fellowmen.”
Today, I want to help us understand the worth of all souls by talking about four types of people whose worth we may not always feel.
- The worth of your soul is great in the sight of God.
This comes first because if we don’t see our own self-worth, it is difficult to see it in others. I admit that self-worth is something I have struggled with many times in my life, but especially when I was a young adult. I married very young, and my husband often told me I was unimportant and worthless, and treated me accordingly. After two years of marriage, he chose his pornography addiction over me and our baby son. After our divorce, when I moved to NC with my little son, Casey, I was broken. I was sad all the time and felt I had failed as a wife and mother. I adored my baby, but felt I needed to change my circumstances quickly to live up to the life I thought I had to have. Then one day my eyes fell on this statement from the Family Proclamation: All human beings are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. I had forgotten this simple but divine truth. I had made myself believe I only had true worth if I had what I thought was the ideal life, but no, I always had divine worth. I thought I had been a failure as a parent, but I actually had been doing the best I could with the circumstances I was in. These words helped me find joy in my circumstances and realize that my worth had never changed.
For anyone here today struggling with their self-worth, please don’t compare yourself to anyone else or put yourself down. Instead, I hope you can find comfort in these words from:
Elder Holland: “No one of us is less treasured or cherished of God than another. I testify that he loves each of us – insecurities, anxieties, self-image, and all.”
Elder Uchtdorf: “Compared to God, man is nothing; yet we are everything to God.”
President Monson: “God’s love is there for you whether or not you feel you deserve love. It is simply always there.”
Elder Phillips: “God loves you so much that He sent His Son to heal, rescue, and redeem you.”
And President Kimball: “[God] and your Mother in heaven value you beyond any measure. … You are unique. One of a kind, made of the eternal intelligence which gives you claim upon eternal life.”
- The worth of our enemies is great in the sight of God.
We know this because Jesus commanded to …Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you (Matthew 5:44).
The sons of Mosiah in the Book of Mormon truly loved their enemies, the Lamanites, so much that they wanted to serve missions amongst them. Now they were desirous that salvation should be declared to every creature, for they could not bear that any human soul should perish…(Mosiah 28:3). Many Nephites were critical and said they shouldn’t go because of how wicked the Lamanites were, but they went anyway because they valued the Lamanites’ souls so much. Many miracles happened and the thousands of Lamanites that accepted the gospel never left it.
Seeing the worth of our enemies is so much easier said than done, and some hurts are so deep we must remove ourselves from others’ lives for our own safety and well-being. But, here are some things we can do for our enemies:
- Try to understand them. Realize that people who hurt others are often hurt themselves.
- Try to reconcile if possible.
- Recognize that sometimes people we think are our enemies aren’t. We may have just misjudged them due to lack of information, understanding, or context.
- Pray for them and wish them understanding, comfort, and a softened heart.
- Pray for a desire to forgive them and then continue to pray until you can.
- Praying for someone who has hurt us can bring a lot of peace, for instead of hatred or bitterness or fear, we can feel compassion and mercy. We can feel the love that God has for them, regardless of behavior.
- Choose not to judge with finality because the atonement of Christ is there for everyone who wishes to change.
After my divorce, some people told me I should not let Casey’s dad be a part of Casey’s life at all. Though a path like this may be necessary for others in similar situations, I didn’t feel that was the right course for my family. I valued Casey’s father enough to encourage Casey to love him, spend time with him, forgive him, pray for him, and encourage him. Casey’s dad and I have also kept up a relationship of kindness and civility over the years.
- The worth of the “sinner” is great in the sight of God.
The truth is, we are all sinners who come short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23), but we often judge some sins as more serious than others. The Savior taught a valuable lesson when the Pharisees brought an adulterous woman to him, asking him if she should be stoned.
[Jesus]…said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her. When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee? She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more (John 8:7-11).
Today, we don’t throw actual stones at sinners, but do we throw social, verbal, and emotional stones at them?
Several years ago, someone I love became pregnant out of wedlock. It filled me with dread and disappointment, so much so that I found it very hard to be happy for her. I thought I wasn’t allowed to be or else I would be condoning her sin. At an interview not long after, I asked a stake presidency member what I should do. He asked me what my loved one would want of me during this time. I knew she just wanted me to be happy for her, to love her, and to support her. Considering her perspective and finding compassion for her, changed my heart.
I have learned to stop defining people by their sins but rather to see their worth as children of God. We need to allow each other the gifts God has given all of us: agency, the ability to gain wisdom and knowledge from our experiences, repentance, forgiveness, and redemption.
President Oaks reminds us: “We should yield no ground in living and defending the commandments of God, but to mirror fully the love of God, we must also love one another so openly and completely that no one can feel abandoned or alone or hopeless.”
For anyone who feels like they are drowning from the weight of sin or addiction, take comfort in these words from Sister Runia: “Can you imagine your Savior rejecting your outstretched hand? I imagine Him diving into the water, descending below all things to lift us up so we can take a fresh breath! No one can sink lower than the light of Christ shines. You are not the mistakes you have made. Your worth isn’t tied to obedience. Your worth is constant…It was given to you by God, and there’s nothing you or anyone else can do to change it.”
- The worth of persecuted souls is great the sight of God.
A few Sundays ago, I presented several scenarios to my primary children where a new person came to church who was different in some way, whether it was the way they dressed, smelled, looked, moved, or spoke. I was touched that in every scenario, they said they would help, offer words of encouragement, or invite someone to their home. These dear primary children set a wonderful example of welcoming all and helping them feel like they belong.
If we could all be like these wonderful children, then everybody who walked through these doors and sat in these pews would feel welcome and loved, but we have work to do.
Elder Christofferson has counseled us to “be diligent in rooting prejudice and discrimination out of the church, out of our homes and out of our hearts.” President Oaks has challenged all youth (and I would say all of us) to “avoid bullying, insults, or language and practices that deliberately inflict pain on others.” President Oaks has also taught that “we should [reject] persecution of any kind, including persecution based on race, ethnicity, religious belief or nonbelief, and differences in sexual orientation.” And Elder Jackson has said that in the culture of Christ, “There is no prejudice or “us versus them” mentality. We are all “us.” We are all “them.”
It’s easy to fall into the trap of othering people who are different, even for disciples of Christ, but Elder Cook reminds us that, “As a church, nobody should be more loving and compassionate.”
The children’s song “I’ll Walk with You” says, “Jesus walked away from none. He gave his love to everyone so I will, I will.” The song also says, “I’ll walk with you, I’ll talk with you, that’s how I’ll show my love for you.” To help us change our hearts about people we feel prejudice towards, we have to walk and talk with them as individual children of God. We need to ask questions, get to know them, listen to them, believe and validate their experiences, learn from them, seek to understand them, comfort and mourn with them, encourage them, be a safe place for them, strive to see them the way God sees them, and help them feel God’s love for them. I testify this works because it has worked wonders for my own heart that in the past has been hardened towards some children of God.
As we each learn compassion for those who are different, we will not only stop throwing stones, we will stand boldly beside them and catch the stones others throw at them. As we do this, we will see the beauty of diversity, and the worth of each and every soul. As Elder Christofferson said, “We need one another.”
For anyone who is feeling the weight of stones as you are misunderstood, misjudged, and mistreated, take comfort in knowing that you are “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14) and your Savior knows exactly how you feel. He is holding you close and weeping with you. I am also weeping with you and I want you to know that I am here to cry with you and accept you for who you are.
My friends, I testify with all of my heart that the worth of every soul is great in the sight of God. I encourage each of us to ponder before we write a social media post, comment in Sunday School, or whisper to our neighbor if what we are about to share will help others feel of their divine worth and of their Savior’s love. I also encourage each of us to think of a soul whose worth we cannot yet feel and then pray humbly to Heavenly Father for guidance. As our hearts soften and change for one soul, we will be open to feeling the worth of even more souls. That is how we become like Christ.
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I had so many things I wanted to say that I couldn’t fit into a 10-minute timeframe. Here are some of the things I didn’t add:
Elder Renlund taught, “To be Christlike, a person loves mercy. People who love mercy are not judgmental; they manifest compassion for others, especially for those who are less fortunate. They are gracious, kind, and honorable. These individuals treat everyone with love and understanding, regardless of characteristics such as race, gender, religious affiliation, sexual orientation, socioeconomic status, and tribal, clan, or national differences. These are superseded by Christlike love.”
Elder Uchtdorf taught, “Let our hearts and hands be stretched out in compassion toward others, for everyone is walking his or her own difficult path. As disciples of Jesus Christ, our Master, we are called to support and heal rather than condemn. We are commanded “to mourn with those that mourn” and “comfort those that stand in need of comfort.”
Pope Francis said, “The only time that we are allowed to look down upon others is when we are offering to help them up.”
Some simple actions we can take to show that we value the worth of souls are:
Make eye contact, smile and wave to everyone you see, offer sincere compliments, sustain and support people in their callings and positions, pray for others and put names on the temple prayer roll, share your talents and skills with others, give hugs and other forms of affection, show gratitude to others, give birthday or holiday to gifts to others, heart attack someone’s door, send a card or letter to someone, babysit for a family of young children or help with a child when you see a need, record a loving voicemail message and email signature for all to see and hear, put stickers on your car or water bottle, or wear shirts with loving messages (like Jesus Loves you, You are enough, etc.), spend time with and get to know people, invite people over for treats or game, bring a meal to someone, invite someone who is lonely to sit with you or talk with you, help others when they need it and allow others to help you, and attend events to be supportive and to meet new people.
God has been refining me over the years in many ways, and one way He has done so is by helping me see goodness in all people – to help me realize and honor that all people on this planet, regardless of choices, beliefs, circumstances, or any other defining factor, are children of God and beloved by Him. There is nobody who does not need Christ and there is nobody that does not deserve to partake of His goodness and love. We have a choice as Saints to either push others away because we don’t think they are good enough, or realize none of us are good enough, but God loves us perfectly anyway, and wants us all to come unto Him. We then take that to action through our kindness, encouragement, service, compassion, and understanding.
