Last night, before bed, I felt a little broken inside, like a piece of my heart would soon be missing. I was already regretting the day to come’s arrangement where Jad would take Rigel and Kamren to Kinston with him early in the morning, and not bring them home until very late. They would play with their Teta and other members of his family while I got nearly a full day alone.
You are probably shaking your head in disbelief. I should have been celebrating the possibilities for the following day, planning all the fun I would have and relaxing I would do.
I guess I am just tender-hearted, because it broke my heart to strap them into their car seats and watch them drive off with Daddy at 6:45 AM. I kissed Kamren a million times, and felt like I was going to burst into tears at any moment.
When they drove off, I went back upstairs, thinking I would go back to sleep. I needed more sleep, and not having kids wake me up sounded amazing, despite it all. I couldn’t do it, though. I was too busy thinking about my babies, hoping they, and I, would be okay today.
So, my day without little ones started at 7AM.
I felt a lot of pressure on myself to have a really good plan for the day, and not waste my time, because this quite possibly could have been the only day for a very long time I would have to myself (until Casey got home from school anyway).
This is the day I came up with, and I am very satisfied with it,and grateful I had it:
1. I read the second half of my book club book. I am now done, and it was very enjoyable.
2. I lifted weights. I always love doing that. It makes me feel buff.
3. I ate breakfast alone, and the only mess was a dirty bowl and spoon. No crumbs, spills, or stickiness. That felt nice, I must admit.
4. I got ready for the day, and didn’t have to rush, though out of habit, I still went pretty quickly.
5. I ran some errands in the pouring rain (without an umbrella because they were all with Jad): Dollar Tree to make an exchange, Walmart to buy a can opener, flowers, and a few spices, the bank to make a deposit, and the library to check out a couple movies for Casey. I joked with the librarian that this was the fastest and quietest trip to the library I had ever had.
6. I dropped by Loving Hands Food Pantry for the first time. I loved seeing my friend, Norie. I got a tour of the office. I got information about what their needs are relating to a food drive we want to do soon, and I made a cash donation. It felt good to do some service.
7. I visited an elderly sister in our church. This was the most rewarding part of my day. I had bought the flowers for her, and also brought her a card. We talked for the better part of an hour, and would have talked longer if schools hadn’t let out an hour early. She was so appreciative of my visit, and I loved hearing her stories, and also having the blessing of lifting her spirits.
8. I went home as fast as I could, and had to get Casey from our neighbors because I got home after he did. To redeem myself, I made cinnamon sugar popcorn, got out a box of Crush candy I had gotten at Walmart, and turned on Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. Casey recently read all the books, but hadn’t yet gotten to watch any of the movies. We had a great time just watching and snacking. He told me later how much he loved spending that one-on-one time with me.
9. We quickly got ready to go to my parents’ house so I could drop Casey off and go out for the evening with my brother, Aaron, in Chapel Hill.
10. I met Aaron, and we walked to B-Skis for dinner. He treated me, which made me feel special. Then we went to a lovely performance of Britten War Requiem. All the soloists, for whom Aaron was actually the rehearsal accompanist, were phenomenal. We had so much fun enjoying a common interest. I was amazed at how many people my brother knows on campus. He kept stopping and talking to so many people.
11. I picked up Casey from my parents’, got shooed out quickly, and took my tired boy home. We ate cupcakes on the way back that I had bought on a whim after the concert.
12. I started working on this blog post.
13. At 11 PM, Rigel walked into my room with a cute little smile on his face because he was home. We embraced, and I told him how much I missed him. Kamren was already asleep in his bed. I will look at him lovingly in his crib later.
So, that was my day. I didn’t do nearly as much as I thought I would. I thought I was going to finish filing our taxes, catch up on church responsibilities, organize my recipes, and more.
I am okay with not doing everything on my list because I spent the day doing good, and spending time with people I love (did you hear Barney’s voice when I wrote that, because I did).
I am so glad to have my babies home, and am looking forward to the messes, smells, noise, and Barney songs that are in store for tomorrow.